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edition #22

truth vs lies


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lie vs truth

12 snowball

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good goods

11 student submission

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How to Use Your Speech to Build Up Your Children

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Salmon pasta salad cup


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Five Fallacies We Must Abandon As We Lead children

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f.e.a.r.

cover: Andrew Pramugi Tan (Australia)

Email: hello@kidsnationmag.com Website: kidsnationmag.com

Choosing whether to fight or making friends

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from the editor

I recently heard a statement by Peter McHugh that "Our behavior is the echo of our beliefs.” Without realizing it, we sometimes believe in the things that are not true. I remember when my oldest son was a toddler, we took him to a wave pool. He had so much fun until he saw big waves and started crying. I picked him up and assured him that he was okay and safe in my arms. But he just kept on crying because the waves were just too overwhelming for him. What he didn’t realize was that the waves were actually just up to my knees. So, he was safe indeed.

I realize that we too get overwhelmed by situations, people’s words and actions, that we could not think straight. We need good friends who can speak truth into our lives. We hope that this edition will be an eye opener, to help kids see the truth – the truth about fear and lies and the truth about themselves. May we also be speakers of truth to people around us.

xo, Mia

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this edition’s contributors:

MIA SETYAWAN | AUSTRALIA EDITOR & FOUNDER of KIDS NATION MAG kidsnationmag.com Mia is a mother of two boys and owns an award winning graphic design studio in Australia. She is passionate about imparting positive values to the next generation. Mia has been a volunteer at a local children program for over 10 years.

Tim Elmore | usa founder & president of growing leaders growingleaders.com Tim is an international speaker, founder and president of Growing Leaders, an organization equipping today's young people to become the leaders of tomorrow. He is best-selling author of more than 30 books, including Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future and the HabitudesÂŽ series.

Desi Trisnawati | INDONESIA food artist & chef consultant inspirational-chef.com Desi is the winner of Masterchef Indonesia 2012 and the first female Masterchef Indonesia. She is the author of 20 Fun Recipes of Strong Heart and creator of the Indonesia's first culinary board game Cooking with Inspirational Chef Desi.

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this edition’s contributors:

sharon witt | australia teacher, author & speaker sharonwitt.com.au Sharon Witt is a teacher, Author and Presenter to adolescents and their parents around Australia. She is a regular media commentator and the author of 12 books written for young people, including the best selling Teen Talk and the Girlwise and Wiseguys series.

Randell Turner Ph.D. | UNITED STATES child & family Therapist www.pacounseling.com Randell Turner, Ph.D. is Child & Family Therapist who specializes in working with men and fathers. He has authored award winning resources for organizations like the National Center for Fathering, National Fatherhood Initiative and Fatherhood.gov. Follow him on Facebook group: Unbreakable Bond.

Kids Nation is a free digital magazine, dedicated to empowering kids around the world. It is published by MOS Design Creative (http://mosdesign.com.au). Copyright Š Kids Nation magazine. All rights reserved. Reproducing without permission is prohibited. Copyright of articles and photos remain with the individual contributors and may not be reproduced without permission. 7


lie vs truth

words: sharon witt | artwork: mia setyawan

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LIE

truth

i am never good enough.

You are enough! the very qualities that you think let you down, may actually be those that make you shine when you are much older.


LIE

truth

i need to fit in to be accepted.

don’t compare yourself to others. You are running your own race and there is no one else exactly like you, and that is a good thing.

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LIE

truth i need to make everyone happy.

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don’t make decisions based on pleasing everyone else around you. Listen to that inner voice, your intuition that tells you what is the best path for you.


student submission

choices by: annabelle pramugi tan (australia)

at the playground, we have the choice to just play and have fun - or help a friend. 11


snowball

quote: martin luther | artwork: mia setyawan

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Škidsnationmag


"A lie is like a snowball: the further you roll it the bigger it becomes." - martin luther

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photo: Katerina Knizakova

fatherhood

How to Use Your Speech to Build Up Your Children BY: Randell Turner Ph.D. 16


From our earliest days on the playground, we’ve heard this familiar quote: “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you.” Although those may have been useful words for minimizing black eyes, as we grew from boys to men we learned that it isn’t true!

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ames — or more accurately words — can and do hurt you. Careless, hurtful words are often at the heart of the growing “bullying” problem in our schools and communities. So now that we’re dads, we need to get serious about watching the words we use with our children. Since they are now the ones who sometimes hear wounding words on the playground and other places, they should be able to feel confident that they’ll get something much different — and much more positive — when they’re around us. Dads, our words have so much power to heal or to hurt. But too often we forget how powerful they are. Here’s a quote about the weight of words recklessly spoken:

"our words have so much power to heal or to hurt." Randell Turner Ph.D.

“A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything — or destroy it!”

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Now that we understand true weight of our words, how do we purposely and intentionally change not only what we speak but also the way we speak, so we’re consistently building our children up and not tearing them down? I have three ideas:

1. Examine your own heart.

3. Make one change at a time.

What we believe affects what we think; what we think affects how we feel; and how we feel affects our actions, our words and our conversations.

If your words are a big challenge, it might help to focus on one goal as you start working toward better habits with your kids.

Another way of saying it comes from the Bible: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” There are too many dads who allow the hurts in their hearts to turn into verbal assaults on those around them.

For example, one great approach is to affirm your child six or seven times for every one word of correction or criticism. If you can “check that box” every day, then you know you’re making progress.

If your heart has been wounded or you feel too fragile or preoccupied to really focus on affirming your children verbally, seek out help to deal with and treat those wounds. Confiding in a trusted small group of men would be a great start. 2. Become a life-long learner. Whether or not we enjoy writing, speaking, and working with words in general, we need to become “apprenticing wordsmiths.” There are plenty of books, blogs and websites where we can get help with this (and fathers.com is one good example). Whatever it takes, we need to become men who are able to speak words that affirm, inspire, and encourage our loved ones. 18

For me, another positive change would be limiting or eliminating profanity. When I was in college, one of my professors and mentors challenged me with this statement: “Profanity is a weak mind trying to express itself more forcefully.” Maybe you think profanity isn’t a big issue, but I believe our language helps us send a consistent message to our kids. We’re most likely to use profanity when we’re correcting or criticizing them, and profanity adds another layer of insult. It could also distract our children from what we’re communicating because of the emotional “punch” added by the profanity. That’s just one example that may or may not be relevant to you, but it’s a change that could have a big impact on your ability to send positive messages to your children.


photo: Ryan McGuire

And that’s really the bigger idea here: being encouraging, life-affirming forces in our children’s lives. When we really grasp how powerful our words can be to those around us, we should be motivated to use them carefully and wisely. We really can use words to create intimacy, heal wounds, and bring out the full potential in our children. 19


goods compiled by: mia setyawan

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nappy pants Thankyou (Australia and New Zealand) 100% of all Thankyou baby profits fund maternal and child health programs

gold flower crown Headbands Of Hope (USA) For every headband purchased, one is given to a child with cancer.

grey liberty scarf A21 (Worldwide) A21 eradicates human trafficking through awareness, intervention and aftercare.

notecard Live Love Studios (USA) Gives 1 meal to a hungry tummy in East Tennessee Appalachia for every purchase.

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photo: desi trisnawati

cook

Salmon pasta salad cup words: desi trisnawati | artwork: mia setyawan 22


INGREDIENTS: Elbow pasta 1 cup salmon flakes 1 yellow capsicum, diced 10 cherry tomato, quartered 1 cucumber, diced Lettuce

1. Cook pasta according to the instructions on the pack, until al dente.

dressing: 1 cup plain yoghurt 1/4 cup mayonnaise 1 tbs mustard 1/2 lemon Salt and pepper, to taste

3. Layer in each cup, starting from pasta, dressing, tomato, capsicum, cucumber, salmon and top with lettuce.

Cucu mber Salmon

2. Mix well together the dressing ingredients.

Lettuce Capsicu m Tomato Dressing Pasta Notes: You may use your favourite vegetables such as corn kernels and green beans. If your family likes spicy food, you may add tabasco or chili powder.

For more recipes: Follow Desi on Facebook, Twitter and Instagra m 23


photo: stocksnap

leadership

Five Fallacies We Must Abandon As We Lead children BY: tim elmore 24


Lynn Austin learned the “price” of little, white lies. She writes, “My five year old son had been looking forward to visiting the planetarium while on vacation, but when we arrived, we learned that children under age 6 were not admitted.”

“’Let’s pretend you had a birthday,’ I told him. ‘If the ticket man asks you how old you are, I want you to say, “I’m six.” “I made him practice it until he sounded convincing, then bought the tickets without any problems. When the show ended, we moved on to the museum. There, a large sign read, ‘Children 5 and Under Admitted Free.’ To avoid the $5 admission fee, I had to convince my son to forget his pretend birthday. “The consequences of my lie became apparent as we walked up the steps to our last destination, the aquarium. ‘Wait a minute, mom!’ my son said with a worried look. ‘How old am I now?’”

You can be anything you want to be. (So they assume they’ll be the next American Idol). You are awesome! You’re the best! (They assume they’re entitled and can act arrogant). You are smart. You’re gifted. (They assume they shouldn’t have to try hard in school). We mean well when we say these things, and they’re probably OK when children are young. By the time they reach middle school, they figure out someone’s not being honest with them. The difficult truth raises its ugly head.

As sweet and innocent as this story is, Lynn puts her finger on something important for every adult.

There is a reason why these lies are dangerous. Each of them is built on a fallacy. The false foundations are not stable enough to build a life on, and will ultimately crumble.

Eventually, our lies, which were intended to help our children get something, actually begin to confuse them.

A young person who buys into a lie will eventually sabotage their future. What’s more, the lie will not allow them to become the person they are capable of becoming.

This is true with each of the lies we use.

Consider this. If the truth makes us free, then lies must put us in bondage. Emotional chains. I believe part of the reason for Generation iY’s struggle to launch is their propensity to embrace lies about themselves and life in general. Examine the fallacies upon which our lies are built.

For years, I have warned teachers, parents and coaches about how much we “lie” to kids today. We don’t mean to—but we do. Even to teens, we say things like:

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photo: composita

Five Fallacies Our Lies Stem From: 1. Instant customization The belief that I should have a customized experience in all that I do. This is damaging because life is about more than me and my needs. We will all have to compromise a bit on our preferences and fit into something much bigger than us. Life is about finding our role within the big picture and adding value. 2. Instant gratification The belief that if I want it, I should have it now. This is damaging because I must learn to delay pleasures and be disciplined to work for them. Generation iY hates this phrase, but they must learn to “pay their dues.” Patience and persistence are virtues. They must pay now so they can play later. 3. Instant socialization The belief that I must stay in constant communication with others to be happy and fulfilled. This is damaging because contentment should not require someone provide it for us. Also, with “instant socialization,” I fail to build relational skills that come only through real life face-to-face time with people. 4. Instant affirmation The belief that I need immediate, positive feedback from others to feel OK. This is damaging because life doesn’t always instantly reward what is right. In fact, our world may never notice quiet acts of kindness or deeds of service done from proper motives. We must do what is right not what gets applause. 5. Instant information The belief that I must have all the available information on a subject right away. This is damaging because educators and psychologists will tell you that young people are not emotionally ready for everything their brain can take in. There’s a difference between the ability to consume information and process it. Do you see any other fallacies we’ve accidentally led from?

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"lies are built on false foundations, which are not stable enough to build a life on, and will ultimately crumble."

— tim elmore

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f.e.a.r

quote: neale donald walsch | artwork: mia setyawan

zzzz ... zzzz

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zzzz ...


ar!!

ro

ar!!

ro

ar!!

ro

"mum!!! there is a lion outside my room ..."

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looks like someone accidentally turned on the sound!

ooh ...

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"F.E.A.R. = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL" - neale donald walsch

zzzz ... zzzz

zzzz ...

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kidsnationmag.com

Kids Nation Magazine - Edition 22, 2018  

Edition 22: Truth vs Lies | World's first free digital magazine, dedicated to empowering kids around the world, with global contributors

Kids Nation Magazine - Edition 22, 2018  

Edition 22: Truth vs Lies | World's first free digital magazine, dedicated to empowering kids around the world, with global contributors

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