as someone with an innate good sense of music and someone who can hold a tune through humming. He is encouraged to hum when his classmates sing thus making him a contributing part of the group. Tarun’s classmates recognise that he is a unique and interesting person, and have accepted him as different but not less. More recently, as he is in Grade 8 now, his classmates form their own groups on social media like WhatsApp and he is always invited to be part of every group because as one of his classmates mentioned, “He is our friend.” Of course these have taken a long period of time and also efforts from multiple people who are part of his life working in coordination to achieve, but in the present time it is one of the most important aspects of his life. This clearly shows in his stated reason for liking school. When he was younger, he used to give the reason as -“because school is the best place to learn” which has over the years changed to, “because of my classmates and teachers”. Clearly, the importance he gives to these relationships and friendships in his life has grown in the ways that are expected of typical teenagers. “Tarun’s classmates recognise that he is a unique and interesting person, and have accepted him as different but not less.”
Other Community Spaces In addition to the school space where a great many relationships and a few friendships have been forged for my son, we have also worked to craft relationships with extended family members, neighbours, our church and also a few other specific instances in different spaces. Within our family, we have always attempted to ensure that Tarun is a part of every family get together and every other function that we attend. We understand that we must expose him to more people so that the simple chances of forming relationships and friendships improve for him. Some of the specifics we always attempt to address towards this goal include modelling the kind of relationship he would expect from others, based on respect and acceptance for who he is rather than expecting him to adhere to all societal norms all the time. Simple things, from always seeking out his choices in the minutest things to letting him help himself rather than doing things for him. We strive to respect his choices and decisions and make sure that we stick to them. For example, if he expresses that he needs to take a break or doesn’t want to have a conversation at the moment, we encourage others to respect this and know Tarun will indeed get back to them when it ‘works’ for him. Understanding the importance of technology in friendships between young people, we have assured that he has message exchanges with his cousins and family members. Also, his augmentative communication device is always at hand for him to converse or respond, which helps people see that not talking does not mean that one does not think, feel or understand. Over time, these efforts have helped him develop some relationships that are cherished by both parties. This effort has resulted in him being valued as a family member, even in the larger extended family. Within our apartment building community, we have sought to help Tarun form relationships as well. Although this has been a tougher task, there has been one positive result. It began with a friendship that I had developed with a woman living in the complex. She was very enthusiastic when she heard about my son and initiated having my son over to her place for an interaction with her son. I was pleasantly surprised and pleased when a relationship developed which has lasted over the years between Tarun Valued Lives SRV 4.0: An Invitational Course on Social Role Valorization 173
