Mental wellbeing and chastity - Locked up and happy

Mental wellbeing and chastity - Locked up and happy Over the last 12 months, I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that we’ve all had our mental health struggles and become even more aware of how quickly our mental health can be impacted by events. When the pandemic started, depending on where you live, the attitudes were along the lines of “it’s not really going to be anything”, “it’s just like a bad cold” or “we probably should be careful, this sounds nasty.” I don’t believe any of us believed that over 12 months later, we’d have had global lockdowns, national lockdowns and restrictions of many kinds put upon us.

Some people found the lockdowns liberating - a chance to focus on hobbies or to learn new skills. Clothing purges and DIY trended and the days were long, the sun was out. However others found the whole process challenging - people who were furloughed or who lost their jobs or families who had to go from going to the office and kids at school to everyone all in the house and needing to do homeschooling. As the year stretched on, the change in the weather and the shorter days made everything just a bit harder. Reports of anxiety and depression rose at huge rates and mental health resources became more readily available despite consistent cuts to mental health charities and organisations.

Mental wellbeing is a delicate balance and this year has made all of us examine our relationship to our own wellbeing and what helps keep us mentally fit and well. As predominantly social animals, people struggle not being able to see others. For those in kink and fetish communities, entire calendars revolve around events and sessions with professionals and socials. So much of the fetish/kink scene revolves around a personal and emotional intimacy in exploring our desires so to have that removed unceremoniously has had a huge impact on people.

There are lots of reasons why people have certain fetishes and kinks, coupled with a huge spectrum of ways that people engage with these acts and scenes, however at the centre of these experiences - it helps people. Whether through the production of adrenaline and serotonin during a play scene, the opportunity for submissives to mentally decompress by ‘laying down’ their stresses so they can serve or for those who are able to feel understood and have that sense of community with people of common interests, it helps people process the world around them.

Within the realms of chastity fetishes, there were other consequences. Chastity play involved restricting access to the genitals usually through a chastity belt or a chastity cage. The devices are locked and can only be unlocked with a key. To those in relationships with their keyholder, the impact may not have been immediately great but for those who participate in chastity play with a professional Dominant - the lockdowns meant that access to attend those sessions was now removed. With it came anxiety and an immediate fear of the loss these restrictions would bring. In speaking with some people who visited Dominants, they mentioned that the experience can feel sacred in some ways - a special space for them and their Dominant which leads to them either being caged or released from their cage. For those caged, part of the joy comes from the moments of being with someone you trust, who understands and challenges you. Having that removed with an uncertain timeline of when they could meet again caused some caged men to really struggle.

Amongst the feedback we received were a hesitation to move to online sessions (one way that professionals offered) because it didn’t create the same mental space to relax and for some, their home environments didn’t lend to private or uninterrupted video calls. Others mentioned their fears that if they got sick or had to go to hospital and they were still locked in their cages - an extra level of anxiety on top of a global pandemic. Most professionals and chastity retailers like the House of Denial always recommend that if you are in a longdistance chastity relationship, that you have access to a key in case of an emergency - but for some, that defeats some of the servitude and devotion that being in chastity means for them.

This anxiety being long-distance from a keyholder can therefore spiral into feelings of depression and hopelessness. However for others, it provided a form of mental challenge.

They channeled their feelings into a zen approach - similar to meditation. Whilst the preoccupations of the pandemic were still present, by adopting a reflective mental perspective, it allowed some chastity wearers to acknowledge their concerns without becoming weighed down by them in the same way they acknowledge their feelings of desire which are mitigated by the physical chastity device.

For long-term wearers of chastity, on the whole they tended to respond mentally better to the pandemic. With the mental ‘relinquishing’ of their physical pleasure, it gave them a more adaptable mindset so on the whole, they still reported struggles but were able to manage these at a higher level than some others.

With the pandemic meaning that people spent more time at home, it also meant complicating factors for chastity couples who had children. With the family being home full-time, the lack of opportunities to engage in play (which tends to be more involved mentally and physically than sexual congress), lead to some additional frustrations. However couples that discussed their struggles openly with each other tended to find temporary solutions to help all parties in the relationship (e.g. sometimes removing the chastity device for a period of time or smaller activities that could still be undertaken at home like waking up earlier to spend intimate time together).

As with many factors related to mental wellbeing, there is a strong correlation in open and honest conversation with trusted people like friends, family or other community members but it hasn’t reduced some of the negative impacts on mental health that the pandemic has had on all areas of society, with a specific impact on those within the fetish and chastity community. With the brighter future ahead with the vaccine, chastity wearers along with other members of the kink community have reported better levels of wellbeing, alongside feelings of optimism, joy and excitement for returning to a new form of ‘normality.’