RWO OCT-NOV 2018

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{ STYLIN WITH ASHLEY } We know that cancer will take its toll either for the good or bad, but as friends, family, or significant others we can figure out ways to still brighten up their day and keep them in a positive state of mind.

appreciation by doing them a favor, you’re saying you don’t value them. 5. PHYSICAL TOUCH To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. That doesn’t mean only in the bedroom — everyday physical connections, like hand-holding, kissing, or any type of re-affirming physical contact is greatly appreciated. A person who speaks the language of physical touch isn’t necessarily an over-the-top PDA’er, but getting a little touchy-feely does make them feel safe and loved. Given this information, you can apply it to almost any type of general situation, but I think it could especially work when someone is going through a difficult time. Here are some suggestions using the love language system and applying to to someone who is going through an illness or a tough time. Words of Affirmation- Sometimes just a good normal conversation can help someone to keep their mind off of what’s going on. Try to bring up positive funny memories between you two. Maybe a childhood memory or even a movie or song you have always connected on. Keep the conversation uplifting and positive but personal. Quality time- Do something with them that they would enjoy. Maybe a movie, a quality night in. A casual dinner out. A nice simple walk. Maybe even go with them to one of their Dr appts. Do something you know they LOVE, just be with them, focused

and present. Really soak in this time with them. Receiving gifts-Only rule here-Be thoughtful. Maybe some healing stones, maybe a handwritten card, and if you are going to buy something more materialistic than consider doing it more customized. For example, if you buy a piece a jewelry maybe add their initials or a empowerment word. Also-consider bringing them their favorite drink or food. Acts of service- I believe with acts of service, many things can work as long as it will make their life easier, and one less thing they need to worry or think about. Maybe take their dog for a weekend, or maybe even babysit their kids if they have. Something that gives them some solo time. You could also make them dinner or plan a special relaxing night for them.

them in whatever capacity they need and resonant with. Put yourself in their shoes, and really try to imagine what they are going through. We do sound like a broken record if we just simply say “Get well” or “Speedy recovery” I feel although we mean well when using those words, think of something a little more personal, or as the saying goes “Action speak louder than words” I am a not a doctor or a therapist by any means, but watching immediate relatives and close family go through these hard times, has made me realize there is a lot more we do to make them feel better, if we get creative and really put some thought into it.

Drive them to their appointments and in between those appts, fill up their gas tank, or grab some groceries. Physical Touch-Sometimes just holding their hand is enough. Massaging a place on their body that may be sour. Rubbing their back and letting them know you are there for them to open up and vent. A genuine hug, not just a quick one arm hug, but one that really embraces the love and compassion you have for them are all good examples of this love language. Unfortunately, life itself doesn’t stop when anyone gets sick or is even having a bad day. So the most we can do is lighten the load for them, and let them know you are there for ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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