SPECIAL INSERTS
- NORTH EAST KIDNEY FOUNDATION -ROCHESTER WOMAN’S 2020 BRIDAL INSERT
Toni Natalie
CULT SURVIVOR, WHISTLEBLOWER, AUTHOR & MORE
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health & { TABLE OF CONTENTS }
TONI NATALIE CULT SURVIVOR, WHISTLEBLOWER & MORE
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REGULARS
REGULARS
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ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER
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SINGLE DOPE BLACK CHICK
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ASK ROBIN HERTZ
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TRACY TALKS
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LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Riley Joy Candles
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REAL ESTATE WITH BRANDI
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YOU MATTER
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A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE
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RLIFE IN BALANCE
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MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE
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NEW IN THE ROC Roc City Circus
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LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT The CBD Store
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FOR A GOOD CAUSE Sarah’s House
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WORTH MORE NATION
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NEW IN THE ROC Brians Doghouse Mi Amors Boutique
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WOMEN IN POLITICS
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THE 6 PILLARS
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SOCIALLY SPEAKING
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VISIONARY MINDS
150
WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS THE WOMEN BEHIND THE Nurturing Hands Massage & 66 RAZORSHARKS Saunified
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SOMETHING FOR THE SISTERS Marion Ramsey
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WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Tammy Vreeland
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RW’S NEW GIRL
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GIVING BACK WITH RGH
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LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Healthy Puppers
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HER EDGE
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COACHING WITH KRISTIN
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SPECIAL FEATURES
FASHION & BEAUTY 214
CUSTOM BEAUTE
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SHE ROCS
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BEAUTY TALKS
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HEALTH & WELLNESS
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TALKING WITH THE DOCTOR
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YOUR CBD BEST OIL
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MENTAL THINKING
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A NEW APPROACH
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THE PAIN RN
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INTEGRATIVE HEALTH
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WORD OF MOUTH
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HEALTHY WOMAN
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MINDY, BODY & SPIRIT
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PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY
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THRIVING THERAPY
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ASK THE DOCTOR
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“To keep the body in good health is a duty otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” - Buddha
T
o me, good health is more than just exercise and diet. Its really a point of view and a mental attitude you have about yourself. Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being.
In our annual Health & Wellness Edition of Rochester Woman Online, we are very proud to have Rochesterian Toni Natalie on our cover. If you have been watching the news, or reading the papers, barely a day goes by withour coverage of the NXIVM cult leader Keith Raniere. Toni is one of the inspirational cult survivors, whistleblowers, and all around incredible woman helping to bering this “society” to it’s knees. A woman who has perserviered even when the odds were against her and has not written a tell all book about her 8 years with this so called “smartest man in the world”. Read about some of her incredible journey as RWO does a little Q&A with her starting on page [22].
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ON OUR COVER
On our cover this month cult survivor, whistle blower, and author Toni Natalie was shot on location at Roc City Circus by Charlene Mann Photography. Make-up provided by Emily Marie Pangburn.
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{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER ASSOCIATED EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTOGRAPHY
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTORS WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
Kelly Breuer Tammy Reese Kelly Breuer Charlene Mann Ford Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Michael Crisifulli Vine Photography James Shultz James Hooper Michael Crisafulli Tammy Reese Julia Yaw Toni Natalie Robin DeWind Olga Monacell Alana Cahoon Glenna Colaprete-Hudson Lisa Wagner Judi Swanson Dr Larry Peshkin Christina McDonald Sherry Hale Indra Quagliata Denise Karma Clifford Jen Moore Giovanna Walton Evelyn Spruill Tracy Simone Becky Picone Katie Melia Tammy Vreeland Ellen Feldman Terry Daniele Amanda Fite Nancy Wayne Sara Brandel
Robin Hertz Alicia Hicks Dr Kathleen Wright Knothe Cortney Krueger Bonnie Floyd Sandy Arena Kristin Bauer-Gross Kait Lyn Brandy Vullo
Kelly Breuer Katie Lawler-Melia & Toni Natalie The Next Design Casey Marie
Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2020 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.
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THE RISE AND FALL OF NXIVM BY TONI NATALIE & KELLY BREUER I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
Last fall, Rochester native Toni Natalie published her memoir, The Program: Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere and the Rise and Fall of NXIVM. In it, she shared her harrowing story of living with and - the relentless pursuit from the man that the world would one day come to know as Vanguard, the leader of the sex cult, NXIVM.
theft, and production and possession of child pornography. Q: Tell us, Toni, how did you meet Keith Raniere?
Q: So, Keith was claiming back then to be a genius? A: Yes, that was his calling card, and he used it well, right up until the day of his arrest. The thing that people forget today is there was no internet back then. This was the early 90s. I know it’s a really hard thing for people to wrap their minds around, especially today, given the fact that we all walk around with little computers in our hands. But it’s true. There was no Internet, the way that you determine whether or not someone was being forthcoming was through an introduction and looking into someone’s eyes. And, Keith was very unassuming, he looked like a geek.
Natalie, born and raised in Rochester, spent years with Keith Raniere, as business partners and as a couple. When she finally left him, he threatened, “the next time I see you, you will be dead, or in jail.” Until his arrest in March of 2018, he did his best to make that a reality.
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Q: Was it based in Rochester? A: No, it was based in Albany but there was a group in Rochester.
But when she met him, in the early 1990s, he wasn’t Vanguard, yet. It would be decades before he would order his followers to burn his initials into their skin. He was still just a promising young entrepreneur with bright blue eyes and what was thought to be, a brighter future.
Over this past summer, Raniere stood trial for crimes ranging from sex trafficking to forced labor in the federal courthouse in Brooklyn, New York. Toni attended each day of his sixweek trial, including the day he was found guilty. In less than five hours the jury found him guilty on all seven counts, charging him with racketeering and racketeering conspiracy; forced labor conspiracy and wire fraud conspiracy. The racketeering offense included predicate acts of extortion, identity
smartest man in the world with a 240 IQ. Consumer’s Buyline was a membershipbased organization that saved consumers money on goods and services.
A: My ex-husband had an interest in multilevel marketing and was told about this man, Keith Raniere, who had a buying company called Consumers’ Buyline, Inc., And Keith, as we were told was the
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2020
Q: And you trusted him. You would eventually move with your son to Albany. You had what you thought was an exclusive, serious relationship with Keith. You worked with him at Consumers Buyline, and you even started a company with him. This was before he started his cult. What was dating him like? A: You know there were some good times. You don’t stay with someone that long and have all of it be horrible. My mom used to say in order for Keith to be with
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“Last fall, Rochester native Toni Natalie published her memoir, The Program: Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere and the Rise and Fall of NXIVM. In it, she shared her harrowing story of living with and - the relentless pursuit from the man that the world would one day come to know as Vanguard, the leader of the sex cult, NXIVM.”
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{ COVER STORY } “There was no Internet, the way that you determine whether or not someone was being forthcoming was through an introduction and looking into someone’s eyes. And, Keith was very unassuming, he looked like a geek.”
me, he had to be normal, or pretend to be normal. He tried until he just couldn’t do it any longer, and, that’s when he found his “next” step to becoming Vanguard, Nancy Salzman, now one of his convicted co-defendants. Q: You left Keith in 1999 after nearly eight years. And toward the end of your relationship, Keith had become abusive emotionally and sexually. You knew you wanted to leave, so what was the final straw? A: The final straw was so ridiculous. I called and ask him to help out with some laundry, I was at work. I asked him to move some things into the dryer, but not my black sweater, because it would shrink. When I got home the sweater had made it to the dryer, it could have fit my Maltese. I said, “Keith, I asked you not to put the sweater in the dryer, and he started screaming at me, ‘I’m the smartest man in the world’ as he backed me into a corner with spit coming off his mouth, screaming at me to apologize, and say I was wrong, claiming with his 240 IQ, and total recall, he was right, and I was wrong. Q: You left him, and then from that point on Keith was determined to make your life a living nightmare. Suing you multiple times, twice he tried to get you thrown into prison, along the way
bankrupting you and your mother, and sabotaging any hope you could have for a normal life. And this went on for almost 20 years. A: Keith had access to unlimited amounts of money. He was backed by the heiresses of the Seagram fortune, Clare and Sara Bronfman. With unlimited money and resources, he was able to put a lot of time into trying to destroy not just my life, but
A: I don’t know if I was surprised but sickened by hearing just how many people knew about the things that were going on, and, how long they knew. I was just shocked at the number of women in that original early inner circle that were aware, especially about the underage girls. Yet no one did anything to stop him. Q: The Keith Raniere story is a story of one enabler after another. A: Very much so, yes. Keith is lazy. If I said this once, I’ve said it a thousand times, he’s lazy. He’s not capable of doing any of these things on his own, he uses, or buys the people around him to do his dirty work. With that kind of money at his disposal, as you will read in The Program, he was able to get a lot of things done, a lot of very scary things.
many people’s lives. That money bought him power, and with that power he bought lobbyist, attorneys, and politicians.
Q: How does Keith do that? We now know he doesn’t have a 240 IQ. He’s not particularly charismatic. How did he get control over all of those people?
Q: You were at Keith’s trial last summer. And you heard vivid details of many of Keith’s crimes. I imagine that there is little left that could surprise you, but did anything come out during the trial that you weren’t expecting to learn or to hear?
A: Keith is an amazing listener. He learns about your strengths and weaknesses; he listens for your vulnerabilities and then he uses them against you. Using your strengths, and weaknesses, convincing you that you owe your strengths to him, and without him all you would be left
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{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY }} “Using your strengths, and weaknesses, convincing you that you owe your strengths to him, and without him all you would be left with are your weaknesses. There’s a genius there, an evil kind of genius.
are your weaknesses. There’s a genius there, an evil kind of genius. And it’s so slow, very slow, like any coercive control relationship it’s done overtime, like a pedophile grooms their prey, by the time you realize what’s happening, you’re so far into it, all you feel is trapped. Many people don’t have a support system, it’s something groups like this look for. I was lucky, I had my mom and dad, and he was early in the game, they got better at it. There is a shame many people feel within groups like this, it’s like a bad marriage, you stay in for your children. Many people stay because they brought their friends and family in, and don’t know how to get out. Isolation is a key component in groups like this.
Q: Other than the guilty verdict of course, what was your favorite part of the trial? A: Watching Moira Penza, the lead prosecutor, take him apart bit by bit. Keith always felt that he had so much control over the women around him, and there was this beautiful, powerful, brilliant woman who he had no control over. And she got it, she understood how Keith operates, and she used that understanding to put him in prison, hopefully for the rest of his life. Q: Your book, The Program: Inside The Mind Of Keith Raniere And The Rise And Fall Of NXIVM is out, and I know there are other projects in the works. What would you like people to learn
from your story? A: That you can survive, and I have survived, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. One person can make a difference. You have to know your truth, stand in it, and be strong enough to recognize that regardless of the story that anyone else is telling, you have to be the person that defines the ending of your story. Q. How can people find you, and what you’re doing next? We have a website called TheFallOfNXIVM. com, we can also be found on Twitter and IG @TheFallofNXIVM.
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“With unlimited money and resources, he was able to put a lot of time into trying to destroy not just my life, but many people’s lives. That money bought him power, and with that power he bought lobbyist, attorneys, and politicians.”
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“I h be. kno to r else
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have survived, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to . One person can make a difference. You have to ow your truth, stand in it, and be strong enough recognize that regardless of the story that anyone e is telling, you have to be the person that defines the ending of your story.�
“MAKE EACH DAY YOUR MASTERPIECE” - JOHN WOODEN
SALON BELLA VITA I 32 S MAIN ST I PITTSFORD
{ THE ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER }
HONORING THEIR ROOTS AND EMBRACING THEIR FUTURE BY ANN LEWIS
Founded in 1967 by Lesley Sinclair, Animal Care Sanctuary is one of the oldest and largest no-kill sanctuaries for companion animals in the nation. Their life-saving mission envisions a community that promotes turning compassion into action for dogs and cats by adopting healthy animals into loving homes, promoting the human-animal bond through outreach, education and advocacy, spaying and neutering to end the suffering of over-population and to improve public health and the humane and compassionate treatment of all animals.
The current community medical clinic in East Smithfield is in an aging 20-year old mobile home that is too small and located a distance away from the kennel and cattery. The ACS sanctuary animals, even sick animals and surgical patients, must be transported outdoors to the clinic, often in inclement weather. The lobby of the clinic is very small. Owners and patients often have to wait outside because the lobby is full. There is only one examination room which
The three pillars that guide their work are animal rescue/adoption, community collaboration and education. Located in East Smithfield and Wellsboro Pennsylvania, they have a total of over 190 acres and on any given day some 200+ cats and dogs are in residence. Having a veterinary staff on site enables them to run two busy community medical clinics which provides accessible, affordable vaccinations and spay-neuter surgeries for pet owners in the community. In 2019 alone, they adopted 980 animals, performed over 2,800 spay/neuter surgeries and held over 2,600 community clinic wellness visits. T H E I R N E E D F O R A N EW COMMUNITY MEDICAL CLINIC AND KENNEL 40
limits the number of appointments that can be scheduled and only a single holding room which limits the number of animals they can accommodate. Their surgery prep room is part of the surgery room, making it difficult to prepare the animals for surgery. In addition, their original kennel was built in 1982 and at the time was considered state-of-the-art. In the 30+ years since it was built, they know more about the needs of shelter dogs and have seen the kennel
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continue to deteriorate. The building was unequipped to provide a healthy environment for the animals. There was poor air exchange, poor sewage disposal, porous housing materials and excessive moisture. The infrastructure itself was in need of expensive repair and provided a very difficult working environment for staff and volunteers and didn’t provide a positive experience for visitors. Animal Care Sanctuary is in the process of rebuilding its kennel and community medical clinic – as this is directly tied to their growth. This is also about their future and honoring founder Lesley Sinclair’s legacy and vision. The goal of the construction is to make the facility a place where employees and volunteers feel positive and the public enjoys visiting for pet adoption, pet re t r i e v a l , p e t owner education, community medical clinic and other animal services. Most importantly, the kennel must house dogs in the healthiest, least stressful manner. They worked with Shelter Planners of America on the design of the kennel and the goal is to have both the kennel and community medical clinic completed by late spring of this year. The benefits of this new space are vital. For the animals, the new space will be
{ THE ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER } “Animal Care Sanctuary is in the process of rebuilding its kennel and community medical clinic – as this is directly tied to their growth. This is also about their future and honoring founder Lesley Sinclair’s legacy and vision”
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{ THE ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER } “The three pillars that guide their work are animal rescue/adoption, community collaboration and education.�
healthier, soothing and low stress. There will be separation between healthy and sick animals through a sophisticated HVAC system. There will be a high degree of fresh air to minimize disease transfer and there will be indoor/outdoor covered runs designed for optimal health, comfort and efficiency. The noise level will be dramatically reduced. Staff and volunteers will have a positive, well-designed work-pace to increase efficiency and lift morale.
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And lastly, the community will benefit. The housing of animals will be among the best in the nation, reflecting a community that truly cares about the needs of its animals. Adopters will have an overall better experience, and the new kennel will enable more adoptions, which will bring more people to the Sanctuary, which will help the local economy. The new clinic will enable their veterinary team to provide greater service to the community pets. While the construction is expected to
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be completed late spring, Animal Care Sanctuary is still trying to raise over $700,000 for the project. If you are interested in donating or learning about naming opportunities, please contact Joan Smith-Reese at jsmithreese@ animalcaresanctuary.org or 570-5962200 x106. You can also check out their website for more information at: https://www. animalcaresanctuary.org/honoring-ourroots-embracing-our-future/
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{ THE ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY { SHIFT+CONTROL } CORNER }
THE ACS INTERN PROGRAM BY ACS INTERNS
Studying or want to study pre-veterinary science, animal science, shelter medicine/ management or related field? Then the Animal Care Sanctuary’s Pre-Veterinary Internship Program might be for you and don’t take our word for it. “This summer has been the most amazing one of my life so far. I love Animal Care Sanctuary and wish I could stay here longer. I have grown more as a person than I thought I ever could. I have met so many amazing people and animals ….I have become not only a better student and learner, but more importantly a better person because of this internship.” Elizabeth, Summer Intern 2019 Animal Care Sanctuary is one of the oldest and largest no-kill shelters in the United States and is the only animal care organization of its kind in the country that offers pre-vet internships with housing on-site. Their lifesaving mission envisions a community that promotes turning compassion into action for dogs and cats by adopting healthy animals into loving homes, promoting the human-animal bond through outreach, education and advocacy, spaying and neutering to end the suffering of over-population and to improve public health, and the humane and compassionate treatment of all animals. The three main pillars that guide their work are animal rescue/adoption, community
collaboration and education. The ACS Intern Program is designed to give students the experience in all facets of shelter and sanctuary management. It provides opportunities to develop skills in a variety of areas involved in animal care. Interns are given the opportunity to work with 200-300 cats and over 35 dogs to provide quality care, enrichment and
socialization in a facility designed for optimum animal health and well-being. The program consists of a 12-week rotation through their cattery, canine care, low cost spay/neuter and wellness clinic (working with their vet team), and the adoption office to experience all aspects of the sanctuary. Students get education on the non-profit model and board governance. Students are also part of their Alternative Housing program in which they foster and
train shelter dogs who require behavioral modification training (BMT) to increase their adoptability. This program has been very successful in decreasing a dog’s length of stay. During the time with the interns, the dog’s stress level decreases living in a homelike atmosphere while their BMT increases. Here is an overview of Kayla’s recent internship experience:“Every rotation gave me a much better understanding of shelter medicine operations and helped me build skills that are essential for success while pursuing a career as a veterinarian… Probably one of the best highlights of the internship for me was the foster experience. Allowing us to handle and work with dogs that are in need of behavior modification really demonstrates the trust ACS is willing to put in the interns… The vet clinic team at ACS was always excited to be able to show me interesting medical cases and really wanted to give me as much hands-on experience as was possible… Overall the team at ACS is dedicated to the care of their animals. I’m proud to be able to say that I got to be a part of this team and I am excited to be able to point people in the direction of ACS because I know just how much time and energy they put in towards the care of their animals.” – Kayla, Summer Intern 2019
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{ THE ANIMAL { SHIFT+CONTROL CARE SACTUARY} CORNER } “The ACS Intern Program is designed to give students the experience in all facets of shelter and sanctuary management.”
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In addition, ACS has 6 intern positions annually, reserved specifically for those pursuing a degree in shelter medicine or shelter management or for pre-vet students who have an interest in this pursuit. These interns qualify for a stipend provided by The Bronson Scholarship in Memory of Frederick M. Gerhard & Edythe Gay Jennings.
Since 2014 ACS has hosted over 30 interns from various schools across the country, including, Penn State University, NYU, Cornell University, Purdue University, University of Notre Dame and Michigan State University.
The Sanctuary typically has 3-4 interns between both of their locations (East Smithfield and Wellsboro, PA) during the Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall sessions.
Even if students choose a path in private practice or a specialty, it’s the hope of ACS they still play an active role with a shelter in their own community.
There is housing on-site at both Sanctuary locations for the students.
They are in the midst of renovating their
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intern housing and would love some donated furniture or donations towards purchasing new furniture! Please send an e-mail to info@AnimalCareSanctuary.org if you are interested in donating furniture or if you want to make a donation: https:// www.animalcaresanctuary.org/donate/ If you are interested in learning more about their pre-veterinary intern program check out their website, https://www. animalcaresanctuary.org/programsservices/pre-vet-internships/ or send an e-mail to info@AnimalCareSanctuary.org
ANIMAL CARE SANCTUARY
CAN SIA COUNT ON YOU?
MANY WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR NEW KENNEL AND COMMUNITY MEDICAL CLINIC! DONATE A BRICK ($100-$200) ITEMS NEEDED: Furniture for our adoption and clinic lobby, stove and rerigerator for clinic
NAMING OPPORTUNITIES from $1,000+ For More Information: Contact Joan Smith-Reese: jsmithreese@animalcaresanctuary.org 570-596-2200 x106
DONATE NOW:
https://www.animalcaresanctuary.org/donate
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EXPLANTING THE BOOBS UPDATE! BY ROBIN HERTZ I SPONSORED BY GLENNA’S CBD BEST OIL
It’s been 8 weeks since I had surgery to explant my breast implants. Thought I’d share what’s been going on. There are so many levels and areas that are effected. Physically I have smiley face incisions under my breasts where Dr Feng went in and skillfully removed the implant along with the capsule in one piece. Not as easy as youde think because the capsule adheres to ribs and chest wall when under the muscle. They had ad to be scraped off the ribs. Ouch.
want a safe place to go with all of it except calling the nurse at the surgeons office. I sobbed at times quietly to myself. My neighbor…. ok are you ready for this, her name is TiTi. I know….. God has a sense of humor! She would come over and help me with the simple things. TiTi…. really? So funny! I was mad I even got implants in the first place, yet I loved them at the time and now I couldn’t look at my body much and felt alone inside myself.
women that they don’t need to be replaced. That is NOT accurate! And encapsulation means there IS a problem! Pain means there IS a problem! Just make sure with any replacement or removal that all capsule is taken out. I immediately felt and looked better. Everything except my chest looked better anyway. The first month consisted of my entire body changing including my brain. I was thinking clearer, my eyesight cleared up, dry eyes went away, head he is had for a month was gone, the white of my eyes got bright and white again. My skin tone and clarity changed and is still changing dramatically. My acne is cleared almost all up! The puffiness in my face and body is almost all gone.
Then I had my muscles repaired so my anatomy is back to where it was prior to implants. Ouch again. My entire chest wall was opened, searched, excavated and repaired. After while all vanguard up, I had to keep my arms tied down by my sides for 2 weeks so I wouldn’t tear my newly repaired muscles. I did not have a lift so yes just like you would think my once sexy girlie boobs were now ugly and deflated. This bring me to the emotional part. It’s scary and honestly ugly! Makes me feel insecure and actually sad in many ways. I kept a lot of my emotions inside. There
I feel strong again internally. Can make decisions again and don’t feel wishy washy.
Now comes the health part! After explant I was told what I already knew. My right side WAS leaking or seeping out of the outer layer. (Shell). By the way the shell is made up of toxic silicone and chemicals on all implants. By 6-8 years they ALL start to break down. Mine were 13 years old. Many Drs tell
I realized I was living in a fog for a long time. I was concerned explanting would change my intuition. My knowing. Well it did. It’s SO exciting! Everything is heightened and faster. Downloads of
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{ ASK ROBIN HERTZ } “If you or a loved one has implants and health issues reach out to me. I can see by looking at the face and especially eyes if breast implant Illness is causing the problems.�
information come in quick and clear. I could almost say louder if that makes sense. My hair stopped falling out and the texture is changing before it was dry and just plain weird. My aches and pains are gone. My body feels calm and not buzzing and stressed.
Finding humor and trust was big during this time!!!
Women that were very sick. Really sick and they don’t know why.
Everyday there is a little more bloomage and I can look at them again with joy.
One friend had no idea she had textured implants until they were removed!
My daughter saw me for the first time during the holidays and hugged me closer than
I get emails or calls almost daily regarding this topic.
Oh, my heart palpitations are gone! Swooshing in my ear and head gone. My libido is back. My thyroid doesn’t feel inflamed and my eyebrows are getting a little thicker.
I show my photos! I’m not embarrassed! I’m empowered. Education is key here. Women are not being told the truth. Sadly so many women after going through Breast cancer get implants during reconstruction and after a few years realize they don’t feel good. Few Drs know what to look for or even suspect it could be those 2 giant toxic objects places in their already compromised immune system. Hurts my heart for them.
My fatigue and energy level is normal. I want to do things again! I expected more ups and downs as I’m naturally detoxing implant toxins especially since I have the double MTHFR gene but my symptoms are so minuscule when they show up and then I know what to do to flush them out.
If you or a loved one has implants and health issues reach out to me. I can see by looking at the face and especially eyes if breast implant Illness is causing the problems. The toxins and continuous inflammation is causing liver heart and kidney problems. Even cancers and serious auto immune diseases.
My sleep is getting better and my mood is just happier! My tongue is thinner. I know that sounds weird but I suppose those 2 foreign objects in my body made everything inflamed and go haywire. I was chemically and food sensitive! Now much doesn’t bother me. So now I’ve been healing. I embraced my breasts and even named them. Ivy and Violet. Decided to become friends with them. The names happen to be of plants that grow. I didn’t plan it that way tho but I do find it funny! 56
Please take this seriously! I’m here to help! ever. She said she loves my new figure‌ according to her the leaner natural look is in. đ&#x;˜‚ In a weird way I feel more beautiful! More confident! And every time I hug a loved one it’s closer to my heart. Feels comforting in a beautiful way. I’ve saved a few lives because of this journey.
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AskRobinHertz@gmail.com I’ll be updating again in a few months. With Love Robin
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{ GLENNA’S A { IN MAN’S HER OWN POINT CBDWORDS CORNER OF VIEW} }
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{ HEALTHY WOMAN }
MYTHS OF MAMMOGRAPHY BY NANCY WAYNE
A screening mammogram is an important step in a woman’s preventative healthcare routine. Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation regarding screening mammography and breast cancer. Below are the most frequent myths I encounter when dealing with my patients. Dr. Lisa Paulis, Elizabeth Wende Breast Care MYTH Annual screening mammography is only important for patients with a family history of breast cancer.
abnormal on initial imaging but represents normal tissue on subsequent studies. False positives can generate additional testing in order to determine a true result. In mammography, false positive results can mean anything from additional mammographic views, after which most patients will not require further workup, to ultrasound or minimally invasive biopsy procedures. Out of every 100 women who have a mammogram; 95 will be told that their mammogram results are normal, and 5 will be asked to
THE FACTS Seventy-five percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have NO family history of the disease. In the general population 12% of women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime and 42,000 Americans will die from breast cancer this year. Women who are at a higher than average risk due to personal or family history, prior atypical biopsy results, certain genetic factors etc. may benefit from additional screening (ultrasound, MRI) and/or genetic counseling. However, the absence of risk factors should not prevent a patient from pursuing screening imaging. In our local patient population only 4% of the patients we diagnosed last year had a known gene mutation. MYTH Screening mammography should not be performed in younger patients (ages 40-50) due to false positive results. THE FACTS A false positive is an area that appears
return for additional mammogram and/or ultrasound testing. We feel strongly that women should be aware of these statistics to make an informed decision on how they weigh the risk of being one of the women who potentially needs additional workup versus the risk of not screening. Of note, 12% of the cancers we diagnosed in our community in 2018 were in their forties. MYTH Mammography is ineffective in screening for cancer in women with dense breast tissue.
THE FACTS Breast density is determined by the proportion of fat and glandular tissue in the breast. The more glandular tissue a patient has, the more “dense” the tissue is graded. Each patient is assigned a breast density classification on their mammogram which ranges from entirely fatty issue to extremely dense glandular tissue. Small breast cancers can be harder to identify on traditional mammograms in patients with dense tissue, however a newer technology called tomosynthesis (3D mammography) spreads out the tissue to improve detection. Additionally, screening breast ultrasound provides another way to “see through” the density and find small masses. Mammograms remain the most accurate tool available to diagnose ductal carcinoma in situ or DCIS which can be the earliest form of breast cancer we can identify. In patients with dense tissue, consideration should be given to screening mammography accompanied by ultrasound to offer the most comprehensive benefits of imaging. Major health organizations, such as the American Cancer Society, as well as our local imaging community continue to recommend that women should be screened annually beginning at age 40. For more information go to mammographysaveslives.org and talk to your healthcare provider. As the first dedicated breast clinic in the US, Elizabeth Wende Breast Care has been serving the greater Rochester, NY area since 1975, with the latest technology and experienced breast imaging professionals.
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Psychic Gallery Event
STEVEN ALBERT MESSAGE & TOAST
$35 includes a Cocktail
An evening of messages, channeling, healing and a cocktail
SUNDAY 02.23.2020 | 4-6 PM NOX COCKTAIL LOUNGE 302 Goodman St N #403 Rochester, New York
FEBh 17t
GUST OF SUN WINERY 5324 W RIDGE RD SPENCERPORT, NEW YORK
MONDAY FEBRUARY 17TH 6:30-8:30PM TICKETS $35 INCLUDES A GLASS OF WINE
{ SPECIAL FEATURE }
THE WOMEN BEHIND THE RAZORSHARKS BY JEN MOORE
The Rochester RazorSharks professional basketball team is back for their 14th season. We wanted to introduce you to the amazing men who make up the team, and the women who have been the foundation for their success. In their own words, they share about them.
ZACH MARCELLINE #30
want to be the best dad I can be and give her a better life than I had. It’s crazy to think I feel like I got a part of my mom back but it’s true . Thank you Amora I love you.
DEVONN GAVIN #1
My mother and grandmother always helped keep me focused, to always
TYLER ENGLISH #3
I have five women who have impacted & inspired me-3 sisters, my Mom andmy girlfriend. They all are passionate and persistent. They strongly believe in being their own individuals & not conforming to the norms andopinions of everyone around them. They each have their stories of overcoming that continually reminds me to always push forward.
My mom and grandmother have really motivated me to do whatever I put my mind to. I know I can always count on their support.
STEVE WHITE #15
HASIIN DIXON #5 My mother had the
biggest impact on my life. When she was alive she was the glue that held me and my siblings together. She showed us how to grind out of bad situations. When that sun touches my skin, I feel my mother, her energy is forever with me. She is my push and will forever be my motivation. My daughter is the best gift I’ve ever received in my life, she pushes me in ways I would’ve never imagined. My mindset is so different now because she is here. I 66
My mother is the biggest inspiration to me. The sacrifices she has made, the dedication she has demonstrated and the life lessons she has instilled in me, is a big part of who I am today. She has shown me what “good” humanity is. I try to implement and mirror her, in all of the decisions that I make on the daily.
believe in myself, self respect and how to respect others, they always inspired me to do better. They’re my motivation. The reason I have so much drive and passion for the things I do is because Those two women made me the man that I am.
JAMAAL CARTER #25
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My mom & Grandma are two women who inspired me. Both are single mothers, both did what they had to to provide for the family, both worked hard to make their children’s lives were better than theirs was, both raised me to become the man I am, both showed me that helping others was just as important as helping yourself, both are two of the most caring, loving, and strong women I’ve ever be around, and they both showed me how to work through the struggles of life without quitting or giving up!!
DERRELL NELSON #33
My mom and Aunt Jackie had an impact on me since I was a kid with their charismatic personality, and always willing to help people out.
JERRELL REID #7
My mom has always been my
{ IN HER DEFENSE }
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{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “The women in my family have shown me what it means to be strong in tough times and they have shown unlimited support! “ - Rodney Roberts #22
inspiration because she has raised three boys alone our whole lives, with no help, and she never stopped trying her best.
GEORGE GRAHAM #0
My mom and sisters inspire me everyday. They’re all strong loving women and make me a better man daily.
AARON VICKERS #10
My Mom inspires me, she is a breast cancer survivor, a warrior; and one of the strongest people I know.
QUADIR CROSTON #6
I have seen the struggles of my mother, sister and grandmother, and how they never give up- that pushes me to give them better.
RODNEY ROBERTS #22
I have so many strong women in my life. My mother, two grandmother,
aunt and my 5 sisters & cousin Karla & my friends Bre and Tykayila & I will say the woman in my life now Kenzie ! The women in my family have shown me what it means to be strong in tough times and they have shown unlimited support! They believe in my abilities and water them everyday.
H E A D C OAC H T E R RY NOWDEN
My mother has been my biggest inspiration, as a single black mother of 2 boys working multiple jobs to keep food on the table & keep the bills paid. She never let us miss out on any sporting events or camps we wanted to participate in, she showed me true dedication & will to succeed by any means necessary.
ASSISTANT COACH SHAWN HARRIS
My Mother Shereta Harris has had the greatest impact on my life. In a single parent household she raised two boys & taught us to be disciplined, demanded respect & helped us understand the importance of education. We were involved in sports, music and church our whole lives. My mother made sure to be at every game I played in & even as I began coaching she comes to support me and my teams. The lessons she taught, the strength she showed & the importance of just being there are things I strive to pass on to my daughters!
ASSISTANT COACH JOSE LOPEZ
I was raised by amazing women- my mom, godmom and godsisters. I was always with one of them when I wasn’t with my mom. I spent every summer with my grandma & aunt.
Spirituality: Spirituality: The Missing Link In Mental & Emotional Wellness Join Beth Lynch for a passionate discussion on Spirituality, Mental Health from a Spiritual perspective & ways to heal, live & love from your Highest potential. You will be guided into a meditation followed my messages from Spirit: What is the Spirit world trying to teach us about mental health? Why is the relationship with our Soul important in the human experience? How have we become a fear based society? Let's make the shift now individually & as a group! Lynch has written 4 books on the subject including Donald's Journey Childrens Audio & Book. She is passionate to speak on Spirituality & more to educate all ages on Meditation & Spirituality. Beth Lynch is a Spiritual Medium, Meditation Teacher, Intuitive Consultant & Author. She has written & recorded 4 books on Spirituality & Meditation. Lynch is a graduate of Delphi University at Patricia Hayes School of Metaphysics and Arthur Ford School of Mediumship. She is certified under Mark Irelands distinguished group of professional Mediums. For over 2 decades has helped families understand & heal grief. Her sensitivity to connect to loved ones crossed over has inspired & helped many understand life, death & all that is in between.
FOR MEDITATION & MORE OR TO SCHEDULE IN PERSON, GROUP OR REMOTE SESSION VISIT bethlynch444
888.271.4487
italk2angels
/bethlynch444 for meditation, podcasts & more.
info@innerlightteaching.com
{ NEW IN THE ROC }
ROC CITY CIRCUS BY MANDY RAVILLE I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
Ladies & Gentleman! Boys, Girls, and Non-Binary Pals! The moment you’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived. It’s time to join the circus!
most legendary act in the circus as well. Fly through the air with greatest of ease on Western New York’s only full size Flying Trapeze.
With options for either aerial or ground classes at ROC City Circus in Rochester, NY, exercising has never been this fun! Everyone is welcome, and no prior experience is necessary. Regardless of your age, physical abilities, or experience, we have a class for you! And just what kind of classes will you find at Roc City Circus, you ask?
Not ready to fly just yet? That’s okay. We have plenty of ground classes to choose from. Our Beginner and Intermediate Level Acro Yoga Classes will introduce you to partner and group work. Master the giant Cyr
With classes for both Adults and Youth, the possibilities are endless. You can learn to be an aerial acrobat on the Aerial Silks (imagine Cirque du Soleil) or take a spin on the Aerial Hoop, a classic circus apparatus. Learn to flip and drop on the Aerial Hammock or wrap your self around the most widely recognized piece of circus equipment, the Static Trapeze. We even offer introductory workshops to let you sample each of our apparatuses. But wait…Thats not all. You can now experience the 78
Wheel, Twist and Shout in Zumba class, Tap your heart out with a beginner or Intermediate level Tap Dance Class or express yourself with one of our Jazz and Lyrical choices. You can learn to groove with a hoop in Beginners and Beyond Hoop Dance, bounce your way to a good time with Bungee Fitness and then work on flexibility with a Stretching Session.
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You can strengthen your core with our Barre class and get Fit to Fly with our one of a kind aerial conditioning class. The Big Top is a great place to host your Birthday Party and Team Building Events. Let us make your special day memorable. Choose from a Circus Carnival for kids ages 4-7years, A Big Top Aerial Adventure for ages 7 years and up, a Flying Trapeze Soiree or a combination of both the Trapeze and Aerial Arts. Adults can also choose a Private Bungee Fitness Party ( Think an Adult Size Jolly Jumper) Roc City Circus was established by a local family in 2019 as a welcoming place where community members can experience the wonder and beauty of the Circus Arts. Our goal is to create a culture where friends from all walks of life come together while learning and eventually grow to become family. We are proud to offer classes led by experienced, friendly instructors who are passionate and knowledgeable about their craft. Located at 1344 University Avenue,
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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL NEW IN THE ROC } “Roc City Circus was established by a local family in 2019 as a welcoming place where community members can experience the wonder and beauty of the Circus Arts.”
Suite 6200, in the building at the intersection of Blossom Road & University Avenue, we are conveniently situated so that all Greater Rochester citizens can enjoy the fun and fitness of the circus. If you still aren’t convinced to join us, we welcome you to come check us out. We have plenty of 84
comfy couches for you to sit back and watch the circus come to life. In fact, the first Friday of every month our talented team members will amaze you with a sample of their circus artistry. We have short performances at 6:30pm , 7:30pm, and 8:30pm after which we invite you to try a
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swing on the Flying Trapeze for only $10. Special Deals offered if registering for a class that same night. L e a r n t o fl y w i t h u s . We W i l l G i v e Yo u W i n g s . Need more info? RocCityCircus.com or email mandy@roccitycircus.com
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1344 University Avenue Suite 6200 Rochester, New York 14607 (585) 287-5976 roccitycircus.com
{ THE { COVER HEROINSTORY EPIDEMIC } }
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HCG: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS BY ALICIA HICKS I PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER “GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL
Where do I get HCG? hCG is a natural substance that is produced in the human body during pregnancy. Pharmaceutical companies extract this substance from the urine of pregnant women. It is purified and made into pharmaceutical grade hCG. Although it is a natural substance, it is classified as a drug and available by prescription only. You must get hCG from a medical doctor with a prescription. The FDA has not approved hCG to be used in weight loss treatment but it is not illegal. According to the FDA, it is in fact, legal for doctors in America to prescribe medications for purposes that are not approved by the FDA.
does not increase fat losses beyond that resulting from caloric restriction. They even say specifically that, hCG should never be used in the treatment of obesity because serious problems can occur. These statements are blatantly and flagrantly false. There is absolutely no documentation or substantiations backing up and proving that these negative statements are true. Dr. Simeons was very clear that if the protocol was not followed exactly as described, the results would not be achieved. The truth is that in all properly conducted studies,
What if I just did the diet without the hCG injections? Many double-blind studies have been conducted that give the answer to this question. If you just do the diet without the hCG injections, you will, in fact lose weight. The problem is, during the diet you will be losing muscle and structural fat; you will not lose any of the abnormal fat deposits in the problem areas. Your body will not be reshaped and re-sculpted. When you finish the diet your metabolism will be lower than before and your hunger higher than before. You will not have achieved the results you want.
What does the FDA say about hCG? They state that HCG has no known effect on fat mobilization, reducing appetite or sense of hunger, or body fat distribution. They further state; HCG has not been demonstrated to be an effective adjunct therapy in the treatment of obesity and
people on the diet with HCG have, in fact, lost both weight and inches. These dieters have seen a dramatic reshaping and re-sculpting of their bodies. They have lost fat in the problem areas.
My doctor says this won’t work and is not safe. If your doctor has not personally treated patients using the Simeons weight loss cure protocol, exactly and precisely as instructed, how would he/she know whether the protocol was effective and safe? That is the benefit of
coming to Vitalize Medical Center, PLLC. We have successfully treated patients using this protocol with great success. Our clinic understands the issues associated with this protocol and will be there every step of the way to help you succeed in your weight loss quest.
Is it true that 500 calories a day is too low to be safe? No. Research now confirms that eating very low calorie diets actually increase overall health, has anti-aging effects, and increase lifespan. This was reported in The New York Times. Most importantly, however, is when you are doing the diet combined with the hCG injections, Dr. Simeons reports that your body is being flooded with over 2,000 calories of nutrition from the releasing of the abnormal fat reserves. This is one of the reasons that during the diet, consisting of the diet and hCG injections, you are not hungry and generally have an increase in energy levels.
During the diet am I allowed to take supplements and prescription medication? Yes, it is the view of this clinic that in order to maintain a healthy nutritional balance you should use supplementation. Our clinic will make recommendations based on your medical intake package or blood work (if provided) of supplements that will help you achieve an even greater weight loss. It is also imperative that you continue to take any necessary prescription medication that your primary doctor has ordered.
Must I gorge for the first two days of the diet?
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{ A NEW APPROACH } “You must get hCG from a medical doctor with a prescription.�
Yes. Dr. Simeons states that a person will not be comfortable on the 500 calorie diet unless his normal fat reserves are reasonably well stocked. It is for this reason that in every case a person must eat to capacity the most fattening food they can get down for the first two days in Phase 2. It is a fundamental mistake to start the 500 calorie diet as soon as hCG injections are started as it seems to take about three injections before abnormal fat deposits begin to get released and circulate, thus becoming available to the body as fuel.
consisting of various organic lettuces, organic cabbage, organic spinach, organic celery, organic onions, organic cucumbers, organic radishes, and organic tomatoes. Season with organic raw apple cider vinegar, or the juice of one-half an organic lemon. Add sea salt, black pepper, crushed garlic, in any amounts of dried or fresh organic herbs.
Can I change some of the food items on the diet?
How do I measure the 100 grams of protein?
Will I be hungry during this protocol? During Phase 2 you may have slight hunger between one and seven days. If you follow the instructions to load up on calories the first two days, this will not be as noticeable. Each person is different but for the most part the hunger is slight.
Can I substitute smoked fish, pickled fish or deli meats?
Can I mix vegetables? Yes, if the vegetable is on the diet, then you can mix them. You can make a salad 92
Can I eat lamb, pork, duck, while on the 500 calorie diet? No!
Use a kitchen scale or postal scale. 100 grams equals about 3.6 ounces. Weigh the meat in its raw state.
Absolutely not, anything smoked, dried, or pickled. Never use deli meats. The meats must be of the leanest variety. If at all possible, buy organic as it will be free of all of the hormones, antibiotics and other animal drugs which slowdown or stop the fat burning process. Try to buy wild fish and not farm raised fish for the same reasons as above. Eating beef and veal that is not grass fed and 100% organic will slow down or stop the fat burning process.
had a little more protein he would not be getting any more calories, but he would not lose weight. There are a number of foods, particularly fruits and vegetables, which have the same or even lower caloric values than those listed as permissible. However, when substitutions are made Dr. Simeons found that they interfere with the regular loss of weight under hCG. This is due to the nature of their chemical compositions.
No, you must be very strict in following the diet exactly if you want to achieve results. Simeons was very particular in his research about how even the very smallest change or variation would slow down or stop the fat burning process completely. He said that the diet used in conjunction with the hCG injections must not exceed 500 calories per day. He also stated that the way these calories are made up is of the utmost importance. He pointed out that if a patient dropped the apple and
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Can I use artificial sweeteners while on this protocol? No. You should never use any artificial sweeteners. All artificial sweeteners, including NutraSweet and Splenda, should never be consumed. They increase depression, are physically, chemically addicting, and they make you fat. An alternative to this problem is a product called Stevia. There is a website called www.stevitastevia.com that has every conceivable stevia product available.
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{ A NEW APPROACH } “Research now confirms that eating very low calorie diets actually increase overall health, has anti-aging effects, and increase lifespan.�
Can I use MSG (monosodium glutamate)? No, you should never eat anything with MSG in it ever again as long as you live. It is a deadly, dangerous excitotoxin. It increases depression, increases appetite, and makes you fat.
While on the protocol can I use gum, mints, lozenges, or cough syrup?
resistance or low blood sugar. It is suggested that you may drink Eleotin tea to help this. Also, make sure that you eat your apple mid-morning. Low energy could also be caused by a hypoactive thyroid, Candida yeast overgrowth, poor circulation, or parasites. If you feel any of this pertains to you or if you have a concern, call the office and the matter will be referred to one of our doctors. We have several suggestions that will ease all of those problems.
No!
If I am not hungry while doing the diet, do I still have to eat everything as described? Yes. Whether you are hungry or not, you must eat the lunch and dinner in their complete form. You cannot have one big meal per day. You may take the apple from either lunch or dinner and eat it at breakfast. You may also take the fruit from dinner and eat it for a mid-day snack. No other changes or substitutions are allowed as they slow or stop the fat burning process.
What if I have low energy or hunger during the diet? Some patients may be dealing with insulin
What about abdominal exercises and aerobics? Aerobic exercise has many health benefits. In terms of resetting the body weight set point, walking one hour per day outside is much more effective. Aerobic exercise is extremely healthy and beneficial and should be engaged in by everyone at any level you desire.
Will I gain the weight back? If you go back to eating fast food, restaurant food, and food containing trans fats, high fructose corn syrup, highly refined food, artificial sweeteners, meat, poultry, and dairy with growth hormone and antibiotics etc. You will in fact mess up your hypothalamus again and regain the weight.
If the weight comes back can I do this protocol again?
What if I cheat on the diet during the diet? If you do cheat a meal for one or two days in a row all it means is that the weight loss process will stop for a few days or a temporary slight increase in weight may occur. Immediately start the diet again at the next meal and carry on. If you cheat on a meal every other day you are wasting your time.
a minimum of one-half gallon of water per day, up to a maximum of one gallon. It is important in the treatment of the obesity condition. The importance and benefits of adhering to the water cannot be overemphasized. It is absolutely vital in order for the protocol to work effectively.
Can I eat salt? During all the phases salt may be consumed, however, always choose sea salt or Himalayan salt. However, using too much salt can result in retention of water, which will show up as increased weight on the scale.
The instructions in all the phases call for a large consumption of water and teas. Is this necessary?
During all the phases you should drink
Yes. If you lose a substantial amount of weight and a year later find you have gained some weight back, do the protocol as often as you desire. Many people will decide to do the protocol once a year for a three week period to lose any amount of weight gained just to keep on top of it.
What if the food label says all natural? Today, the phrase all natural means absolutely nothing! You must read the ingredient list on the food. Look for 100% organic
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{ A NEW APPROACH } “If you do cheat a meal for one or two days in a row all it means is that the weight loss process will stop for a few days or a temporary slight increase in weight may occur.�
What if I show no weight loss for four days in a row? Dr. Simeons discussed at length daily weight fluctuations or reaching weight plateaus. He explained that at times there may be no drop of weight at all for two or three days, which is then followed by a sudden large drop which reestablishes the normal daily average of about one pound per day during Phase 2. Weight fluctuations occur more so in women than in men. If a person weighs themselves and notices that the weight stays the same for four days in a row, the patient is told that after weighing on the fourth morning, to only eat six organic apples for the day. The patient is told to drink nothing except a small amount of water, just enough to quench their thirst when needed. Two cups of corn silk tea should be consumed. The next morning there should be a drop in weight. If not, do not be concerned. It is important to note that because this
protocol is synthesizing and releasing so much abnormal fat, the body may retain excessive water in order to rid the system of this excess released fat and accompanying toxins. This, at times, results in no apparent weight loss on the scale, however, you must know that the body is still being reshaped, and massive fat loss is still occurring. NOTE: There are two questions that we ask immediately when the above situation arises. The first question for women is: Are you having a period or are you close to having a period? (This seems to cause water retention and as soon as the period is over, the weight is lost.) The second question is; How are your bowel movements? (If you are not having regular daily bowel movements you are retaining weight. It is recommended that you take a supplement or a tea that will help you become regular again.) This, too, should make your weight start dropping again.
Can I stay on Phase 2 longer than six weeks?
Dr. Simeons found that the body has a tendency to create immunity to hCG. Therefore, staying on the diet for longer than a total of 42 injections is not advised. You must take at least a 4 week break before you start the injections and protocol of the diet again. This is important, as once your body starts developing immunity to hCG, you will no longer be burning abnormal fat reserves, but rather start burning structural fat and muscle. You will know when the immunity sets in as you will be unnaturally hungry again and the 500 calorie diet will not be enough to sustain you alone. Consultations for the hcg diet are FREE. If you are interested in setting up an appointment to come in and speak with one of our Licensed Medical Professionals to see if the hCG diet is right for you, call our office at 585-287-5299 or visit us online at www.vitalizemedicalcenter.com
{ WORD OF MOUTH }
INTRODUCING INDRA GUAGLIATA BY INDRA QUAGLIATA
Dr. Indra Quagliata, owner and dentist of IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry A native of Latvia, Dr. Indra knew at a young age dentistry was her calling. Following her dream to continue her advanced education in dentistry at the University of Rochester - Eastman Dental Center she achieved that in 2007. Dr. Indra worked tirelessly and established her private practice in 2013 and continues serving the Rochester Community.
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Exceeding the educational requirements for professional advancement, Dr. Indra and her team are committed and passionate in delivering the most up to date dental and facial esthetic services, techniques and technology all while keeping the patient’s safety and comfort a top priority. Her patients enjoy the benefits of this highly skilled and trained team in the areas of general and cosmetic dentistry, as well as, facial esthetics. Taking a proactive, progressive approach,
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offering same day Crowns and bridges, Dental Implants, BOTOX for both TMJ treatment and facial esthetics with an organic, all natural option for facial esthetics. When Dr. Indra is outside of her office, she enjoys spending time with her daughter, traveling, exercising and personal and professional growth activities.
{ WORD OF MOUTH }
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IQ FAMILY & COSMETIC DENTISTRY BY INDRA QUAGLIATA
IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry of Rochester, New York, offers more than dental care — Indra Quagliata, DDS, knows how important your teeth are to you but also understands how all of your bones and muscles need to be healthy for great oral health.
explains how the team can help you reach your best and safest results.
appointment online or call IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry today.
Treatment plans are devoted to keeping your visits as short as possible with
IQ not only offers general dentistry services including: Invisalign, Implants, root canals, TMJ, Crowns, Bridges, and more. They also offer advanced facial aesthetics like Botox, Juvederm and Kybella all located in Brighton, NY.
Dr. Quagliata uses a combination of medical training and facial aesthetics for full mouth care. IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry is special not just because of the people at the office, but also because of their high-tech approach to dentistry. Your time and wellbeing matter to Dr. Quagliata and her staff. At IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry, you have the benefit of having your teeth restored and repaired in the unique way that Dr. Q u a g l i a t a shapes, contours, and creates. The office is equipped for same-day restoratives, such as crowns and implants. Dr. Quagliata also provides honest assessments of your teeth and
Make sure to check back as Dr Guagliata will be bringing to you a monthly column called “Word of Mouth” with new tips, high-tech procedures and even some incredible new and innovative techniques.
quick, long-lasting results. If you’re ready for your best smile and want a friendly, energetic, and excited dentist to help you on your way, book your
For more information you can contact them at 300 White Spruce Blvd. Suite 134 Rochester, New York 14623 (585) 207-2152 www.iqdentistry. com/?utm_ source=fb_hp
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SARAH’S GUEST HOUSE BY RENEE MCCAFFERY
A HOME OF CO M F O RT A N D H E A L I N G THROUGHOUT A MEDICAL CRISIS For more than 25 years, Sarah’s Guest House, located in the former convent of Most Holy Rosary Church in Syracuse’s historic Strathmore neighborhood, has provided a warm and welcoming home away from home to nearly 19,000 patients and their families from all over the country and the world. As the first, and still the only, adult healthcare hospitality house in CNY, thousands of guests have been able to receive medical care in our community due to the lodging and other amenities Sarah’s Guest House offers guests at a time when they need it most. Each of their stories and journeys are unique -- but the common thread is that all who stay at the house are either coping with a medical challenge themselves, or tending to a loved one experiencing a health crisis, serving as caregiver and loving supporter. Lynda Young, a resident of Auburn, NY, is but one of those inspiring stories -experiencing a medical crisis of her own this past year as she battles an aggressive and potentially terminal cancer of her brain and lungs. Her treatments began this past summer at Upstate Cancer Center, requiring numerous rounds of chemotherapy and specialized radiation 104
treatments which were not available in Auburn. Because the treatments are daily and very draining, the travel to and from Auburn day in and day out would have proven too taxing, both physically and emotionally. Enter Sarah’s Guest House as a place for Lynda to rest her head, relax, eat daily home cooked meals prepared by volunteers, and have a stress free “home base” minutes from the hospital throughout her ordeal. “Being able to
be so close to the hospital and come back and lay down in peace without the worries of a usual home life means everything,” said Lynda. Calling Sarah’s Guest House a “place of tranquility,” which she believes “is helping me flight and heal as best I can,” she said. Lynda has stayed at Sarah’s Guest House numerous times throughout her treatments and follow-up tests. Her daughters, Alyssa and Julia, have also stayed several times to care for their mother -- Julia all the way from Australia
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and Alyssa from nearby Auburn. Their company creates an intimate atmosphere among the other guests, who also form a family-like bond -- a typical occurrence at the house with guests supporting one another throughout their shared experiences. Thanks to the Jim and Juli Boeheim Foundation’s $10,000 grant to Sarah’s Guest House this past year, Lynda’s entire stay is fully funded by their grant which covers all costs for patients with cancer, a cause near and dear to the Boeheim’s hearts. While donations of $25 are suggested for house guests, no one is ever turned away for an inability to pay. Grants like this and our annual fundraising initiatives help to support all lodging costs. Thanks to the generosity of our community through individual donations and corporate sponsorships of our various events including our annual springtime “A Gala of Giving” (our largest fundraising event of the year), we’ve been able to offer our home to so many wonderful people throughout our 25+ year history. Lynda is one of our many guests whose strength and resilience has graced our house. “Sarah’s Guest House has provided my mom with a supportive and loving environment,” her daughter Julia told us.”She’s not alone here,” she said, “and that puts me at ease.” For more information or to attend their April 17, 2020 Gala at Embassy Suites Destiny USA, visit sarahsguesthouse. org or call (315) 475-1747.
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315.475.1747 for more information
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{ WORTH MORE NATION }
FINDING WORTH IN A CLOSET BY SANDY ARENA AND CLAUDIA WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY BOB SCHULTZ
Finding worth goes way beyond wearing a beautiful gown, a crown and banner. However, for a day, when the light is right, the stage is set, the crowds are cheering, and you have put your best face forward, it can certainly help.
There were approximately 30 models of all ages who participated in this wonderful event including youth adopted through foster care, siblings in families who foster, adults who grew up
Worth More Nation is an organization that empowers youth impacted by foster care to find their worth through comfort, giving, fashion and pageantry initiatives. We recently had the opportunity to dress and style a large group of young children, teenagers and young men and women touched by or devoted to foster care for a fashion event where smiles and an abundance of joy abounded. We strutted into the new year with our first annual Fancy Frocks for Youth Impacted by Foster Care Fashion Show Fundraiser held at the Multi-use Community Cultural Center in Rochester where our special occasion gowns and clothing from our closet for at risk youth and girls impacted by foster care was featured. Also showcased was a guest collection from The Children Awaiting Parents Closet located in Pittsford which provides clothing for new foster care placements in the Monroe County and surrounding areas.
in from Oklahoma to speak and share her story of brokenness growing up in foster care and aging out without a permanent family. She shared her inspirational journey to become an independent and productive young lady at age 19 who has her own apartment, a car, a full time job and is a college student. She has beat the odds and the statistics of young people in our country who age out of foster care. The show also featured special guest artists including Mossa Dance Company performing an excerpt from their original ballet Diamonds: Honoring Great Women in History with a piece about Mother Theresa - perhaps the greatest foster mom the world has ever known. We also heard a violin and keyboard duet by Gillian and Allyson Haymes – a mother/daughter duo who often share the stage as pageant queens and musicians.
in trauma and/or foster care, as well as volunteer, professional and pageantry models who have devoted themselves to our cause. Worth More Nation’s National Queen Desi Henderson flew
With ticket sales exceeding our expectations, we raised hundreds of dollars for Worth More Nation while also giving a donation to The CAP Closet. Funds raised through the event will be used for renovations to our Fancy Frocks for Foster Care Closet. Over the past two years, Worth More
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { WORTH MORE NATION} } “Worth More Nation is an organization that empowers youth impacted by foster care to find their worth through comfort, giving, fashion and pageantry initiatives.”
Over the past two years, Worth More Nation has mentored and crowned 30 local pageant participants; crowned four state ambassadors; crowned one national ambassador; donated 20 Comfort Cases for local children in foster care; and donated approximately 400 holiday gifts for children in care. Approximately 150 gowns 116
and dresses have been given away to youth impacted by foster care; while five photoshoots with 50 individuals impacted by foster care has been provided. We have hosted or taken part in two fashion shows with 50 models. It’s been an outstanding few years raising awareness, advocating for, and empowering youth impacted
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by foster care. There is still so much more work to be done with over 400,000 children in foster care in our country and the many needs that are present.
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BRIAN’S DOGHOUSE BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD
There’s a new business in town, dog business that is. Brians Doghouse is a 4000 square foot space newly renovated in one of the old Kodak buildings. Not only is this exciting as a new business, but instead of leaving the old warehouse to be left abandoned and decaying we are up cycling the space to be used as a dog daycare and more. This isn’t the only business you will find reusing the space that once housed R o c h e s t e r ’s premier source of business at the 121 Lincoln ave plant, but it’s the one I am focusing on as I have personal ties to it. Brian’s Doghouse and more is offering daily dogcare for your canine to spend the day while you are at work or on the go. Your dog will have ample space to run and play, and because dogs are pack animals, they will benefit from socializing with other dogs. Brian, who recently found that job security really isn’t security when you work for someone else, recognized the trendy new need for dogcare here in the area after his girl friend went to a birthday party for a dog. The party was hosted in a dog daycare. It was then that they both began recognizing the growing number of facilities, so it made sense when Brian
was let go, that this was the gateway to the doghouse he would soon open. That and his passion for dogs made the decision that much easier. Brian did his homework and researched what it would take to run an affordable and reliable dogcare facility and after numerous spaces found the perfect spot. 4000 open square feet where he could build the floor plan himself. He visualized opening his
doors to the public just a month after receiving the keys, and so he spent every day and night working to make this a reality. He built walls, ran plumbing, and even built his own irrigated puppy pee pallets. A functional toilet for dogs, built with fake grass and an irrigation trough that cleans and sanitizes the space used for dogs to relieve themselves. Brian met his goal date and had his grand opening event January 4th, and that week had his
first clients. Brians doghouse is equipped with an area that hopes to host events in the future such as pet adoption events, dog training classes, brian’s barks and brews, and more. Nothing is off the table and the hopes are to be affiliated with other local small businesses in the area especially those that help shelter animals find forever homes. Brians doghouse and more is not only a dog daycare, but is open for boarding as well as a a small grooming facility inside the space. Dunk N Dogs by Karma will be bathing and grooming dogs by appointment and has a separate area housed inside of the doghouse where we offer cage free grooming. Which means your dog does not have to wait in a cage to be groomed. Also, if your dog is a client of the doghouse they can get their grooming done during their daycare visit. Brian is also offering an introductory dog park play hour to individuals who want to drop by and let their dog socialize, or check out the facility. As long as your dog is up to date with shots you can stop by during the business hours M-F 11am-3pmand use the portion of the space that is open as an inside dog park for your pup.It is free to stop by, but a
{ NEW IN THE ROC } “ Brian did his homework and researched what it would take to run an affordable and reliable dogcare facility and after numerous spaces found the perfect spot.”
$5 donation is always appreciated to use the space. Dogs are required to clean up their waste with the bags offered and like mentioned, up to date shots are a must.
know how he feels about new friends who enter. As of now, Reggie has never turned away an opportunity to make a new friend.
The dogcare is open M-F from 7AM7PM and also by appointments. Brian brings his own rescue dog Reggie to the doghouse everyday. Reggie is a nine month old pit mix whom was living with an individual who was going to sell him as a bait dog for $25. Reggie is the face of Brians doghouse and has greeted all his new friends with enthusiasm.
Whether you need dogcare all week or just one day here and there, Brians doghouse is the perfect place. The introductory rates cannot be beat, and the quality of care shines through. The dogs are treated as if they are part of the family. From couches to lounge and nap on, to tractor tires to jump on, and the agility ramp that Brian made himself the dogs of Brians doghouse will be barking up that tree to come back. If you have a
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dog or know someone who does, I would highly recommend checking them out. Visit them on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter at Brian’s Doghouse www. briansdoghouse.com. Or better yet stop on in ! 121 Lincoln Ave. it’s the door all the way on the left side of the building. You can’t miss Brians orange Toyota Tacoma with the doghouse logo on it. So grab your leash, get your dog and stop on by. You can tell him Karma sent you.
{ NEW IN THE ROC }
MI’AMORS BOUTIQUE BY EVELYN COTTON
I could remember as a child growing up I was infatuated with Barbie Dolls, I took them literally everywhere I went. I had to have them dressed in their best always, even saving my money for the next trip to the store just to buy them something new to wear. This infatuation with wanting to dress up and put patterns together and look my best at all times started my obsession with Fashion which then tricked into my school years where I had to make sure I was dressed in the latest of everything. And to this day I still have sneakers still in original boxes, and that was almost 15 years ago. “she chuckles” Fashion has always been a passion for me, not knowing later on in my life I would be the owner of a Boutique, where I’ve been blessed to service others as well as be hired to help others with their fashion needs. Mi’Amors boutique stands for “My Loves” in Spanish which represents my 3 children and also everything that I stand for as a bicultural business woman. With being a teen mother at 15 years of age, I know what hard work consists of and also maintaining the good works. I have people depending on me, and that’s why I decided to leave a legacy for my children. Mi’Amors Boutique launched in 2013 right after the birth of my 3rd child, in which at that time only catered to family and friends, with custom pieces and accessories. It was not until the beginning of 2019, that I expanded the business from online to a brick and motor location where my customers are now able to come and 124
shop and have the 1:1 experience that Mi’Amors has to offer. I will be transparent as a business owner saying that the process of remaining positive at all times is an easy one, because the reality is sometimes its not simply because there are so many other growing boutiques. But I can honesty say that believing in GOD and his goods works is what keeps me going in this industry.
Not to mention my supportive family and friends. 2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. In addition, most people know me as
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the diva fashionista by night, but when I am not putting together outfits I am a Certified Diversity Practitioner by day. I am a committed, competent leader who embraces and understands the multiple challenges of working in the area of diversity and inclusion in academic medicine. I am someone who is very interested in continual self-improvement, selfeducation and growth as a professional and as a person. These traits are all crucial in addressing diversity and inclusion especially in a complex organization such as the University of Rochester Medical Center. Within months, I was promoted to Program Administrator as a reflection of my ability, work ethic, management skills and innovation. With more than15 years, I have gained the knowledge and background to work in diversity and inclusion. I have developed curriculum and Diversity Series that address a range of topics such as health disparities, diverse cultures, and unconscious bias in medicine to name a few. In addition to developing training for others, I have engaged in my own education, becoming a certified Bias Reduction in Internal Medicine trainer. This program is part of a research program led by the University of Wisconsin-Madison and this experience was just another way that I have immersed myself in learning about diversity and inclusion in ways that are outside of my usual framework and comfort zone. In addition to my work at the medical center, and my boutique, I am heavily involved in church ministry, ministering
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{ NEW IN THE ROC } “ Mi’Amors boutique stands for “My Loves” in Spanish which represents my 3 children and also everything that I stand for as a bicultural business woman.”
to woman of all ages and in 3 months will be certified to minister. I have donated boutique clothing for large events, using the boutique as a platform to reach women of all ages, ministry and being a role model to all women I did not get here alone, this passion of mines is a family affair as my husband, and children are part of the boutique and assist as well as my ministry work. This amazing integration of family and business underscores how I am able to 126
balance so many components of a busy life – a family with three children, a husband with his own business, full-time demanding job, a growing boutique, and my commitment to her extended family, friends and church. Despite all of these amazing accomplishments for a young person, Evelyn remains quiet and humble. “Evelyn” should be acknowledged for all that she has accomplished and I am sure will continue to accomplish not only in her work but in her life and in the
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Rochester community. As a nominee for “40 under 40 award” and “Emerging Leader” Evelyn is a woman to watch as I have every confidence that she will continue to grow and contribute in positive ways to the Rochester community. Mi’Amors Boutique 803 West Ave Rochester, NY 14611 Facebook- @miamorsboutique IG: Mi_amors_boutique
{ NEW IN THE ROC }
Mi’Amors Boutique 803 West Ave Rochester, NY 14611 Facebook- @miamorsboutique IG: Mi_amors_boutique ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2020
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T A E
k n i r D &
CONNECT
Join Us For:
th Wedne 2 1 y sday, Februar Glenna’s D Best Oil CB 5:00-7:00 pm 4 811 Ridge Road • Suite 10 Webster, New York Free for Chamber Member s and $10 for Non-Chamber Member s
RS VP: (585) 265-3960 or BBaldwin@WebsterChamber.com If you would like to donate a door prize, please contact Barb at (585) 265-3960
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{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE }
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{ YOUR CBD BEST OIL }
CBD BEST OIL BY GLENNA COLAPRETE
Glenna’s CBD Best Oil is excited to announce that we now offer facials and massages by licensed professionals for men and women at our Twelve Corners Plaza location in Brighton. Heal from the inside out. Choose to have a service with or without the use of our CBD products. The benefits of CBD with a spa treatment are many. It calms inflammation, soothes anxiety, reduces chronic pain and melts away tension. The CBD receptors (known as CB2) are part of the endocannabinoid system, which is the physiological system that helps the homeostatic functions within the central nervous system. This includes the bodily functions, pain, inflammation, and the immune system. When we apply CBD products directly to the skin, the CBD bypasses the liver and reaches the blood without being broken down. This is a safe and effective way that may relieve pain and inflammation. Incorporating CBD adds another level of relaxation and inherently is therapeutic for the mind and the body. By adding CBD into your
routine with tinctures, salves/lotions has been shown to have amazing anti-inflammatory, anti-depressant and anti-bacterial properties. Our products contain arnica which is a natural ingredient to help reduce bruising and muscle fatigue. For athletes, CBD massages assists for accelerating the recovery and healing process of injured connective tissue. For information and appointments: services@cbdbestoil.com
CBD Tastings & Door Prizes Webster Woods Plaza 811 Ridge Road/Five Mile Line Rd Ste 104 March 1st 10:00am- 6:00pm 2020 Wine & Beauty Expo The ROC Dome Arena 2695 E. Henrietta Rd March 5th 5:00pm-7:00 pm McQuaid Pre-Bash Party- CBD Tastings & more Twelve Corners Plaza 1892 Monroe Ave April 18th 10:00am-9:00 pm RWO Ultimate W o m e n Entrepreneurs Expo & Fashion Show The Mall at Greece Ridge Visit us at the Lancers Home Games 7:00pm Dome Arena 2695 E. Henrietta Rd Saturday, Feb 1 Friday, Feb 21
Saturday, Feb 22 Friday, March 6 Saturday, March 7
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{ MIND, BODY, SPIRIT }
THE SACRED ART OF GRATITUDE BY ALANA CAHOON
Is your glass half empty? Or half full? Some of the time? Or all of the time? The practice of giving thanks will fill your glass to overflowing. Every time! I asked a few gals around Grow 2 B U Studios what they were thankful for. Here’s what they shared. Abigail Clark, DJ “The courage and spirit to keep on trying in new ways!” Thank you, Abi for reminding us to never give up, especially on ourselves! Her alias, Abi Rose shares more uplifting thoughts on air at WXIR 100.9 FM on her segment of Reclaiming the Narrative - Art Blooms.
her. She sees them all as opportunities to cherish, not to be taken for granted. Thank you, Kathy. Nicole Corso, Yin Yoga Teacher “I am grateful for gratitude because it is both a gift giving gratitude and a gift in receiving gratitude. Namaste beautiful sister” Namaste Nicole! The practice of gratitude is to be thankful for! Kellie Adami, Advertising Agency Director “I’m grateful for my friends and family
Kathy Jackson, Real Estate Agent “I’m grateful for the chance to take care of family, including my mom and grandson, for good business, beautiful nature around, ….life.” Kathy comes full circle as she takes care of her family; grows her business; and wonders at the natural environment surrounding 134
Begin each day with a message of self love. Self nurture. Value. Compassion. As we treat ourselves with loving kindness, so will others. Joy Kravetz, Yogi-Dog Walker “I am grateful for my health and the health of my family and friends! Hard to narrow down just one thing but that was the first thing that came to my mind as I read this just after leaving the gym.” Joy’s comment points to our health. Not just hers but everyone’s. This may have been inspired by her workout at the gym or her yoga practice at the studio!
Caitlin Coleman, Occupational Therapist “I am grateful for my loving and understanding friends, many of whom I do not spend enough time with (and desperately need to).” Caitlin reminds us how important it is to not only have friends but to spend time with them! Call a friend today. Thank them for their friendship. Then do something wild and fun together! Or just catch up.
friends and family, it’s just as true to nurture our selves. We need to fill our love reserve before and after sharing our compassionate nature with others.
always—but something new—I’m grateful for taking charge of my life and finally realizing how important self love is.” OMG Kellie! I’m so glad to hear you say it. May this be everyone’s new mantra: I’m Grateful for Taking Charge of My Life & Finally Realizing How Important Self Love is While it’s true to value our loved ones,
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My mother used to say she was grateful for her health all the time. I didn’t get it. I was born with excellent health and just assumed that everyone else was, too. I wanted her to be grateful for something else. At that, she would say she was grateful for me and my siblings. Boring! I thought. But now as an adult and mother who’s had her share of illness and injury, I get it. Min Chiou, Engineering Executive “I’m grateful for the opportunity to explore who I want to be. I’m grateful for being surrounded by good people and influences to guide me on my way.” What a gift! The opportunity to gain insights on your own way of being. Self discovery has become a thing only because our true selves have become hidden! Conformity vs
authenticity may have assisted in moving society forward in a swift and structured manner. But what has been lost? 1. Creativity in the design of services and products a. When you are true to your self, your thoughts flow freely. You are uninhibited and willing to share creative ideas. 2. The soulfulness in execution a.When you are being your self, you’re more likely to be fully engaged in whatever activity you’re involved in. 3. Unique expression of diverse personalities a. Different people need different things. I may like sweet and salty. You may prefer sharp and tart. One may feel more comfortable working with technology while others with people. The ocean breeze may bring one person joy while a snow-covered mountain may suit another. Thanks, Min, for allowing us to receive wisdom about ourselves through coaching, 136
mentors, and advisors. May we all open to our true nature! What are you grateful for? Every day as you wind down and prepare to sleep, review your day and give thanks. Consider the natural environment such as the weather, the sun, the flowers and trees. Appreciate your accomplishments. We tend to ignore the small steps toward big goals. But without them, we may never move ahead! Feel the warmth or coolness of your home. Its four walls of safety. The hum of electricity or sounds from an open window. Offer appreciation to your loved ones near and far. Give praise to your highest self, your spirit guide, your creator. Give thanks for your beautiful body as it is at the present moment. Affirm that you will take care of her or him as you would your best friend.
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Admire that amazing mind that is reading these words and making sense of them. Love the lively spirit within you. Wonder at the colorful emotions you get to explore every moment of every day. Go to the gym and strengthen your body. Take a yoga class. Mediate to clear the mind and calm the emotions. Practice Mindfulness on a daily basis. This will help you to not only bring attention to your health, but offer you the awareness of the beautiful world around you. Appreciation becomes an effortless practice. And your glass becomes a glass half full. Alana Cahoon is the founder & creative coach of Grow 2 B U, LLC; guiding women and men to self discovery and business formation. Grow your business. Expand your mind. Heal your soul. www.AlanaCahoon.com
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{ THE 6 PILLARS }
STRENGTH IN NUMBERS BY ERICA CUMMINGS
Now that we’re one month into the new year, it’s to time create long-lasting habits rather than unrealistic resolutions. Enter self-care’s often neglected sister, financial wellness. Each year, reports show that money is a leading cause of stress, impacting our health, wealth and happiness. Financial self-care is about learning to connect with our money in a more conscious way so that our thoughts and actions begin to add to, not subtract from, our well-being. As with any other area in our lives, wellness is the result of awareness and the practice of making healthy choices. As a financial advisor, I have observed that too often women neglect their financial well-being. Women who are willing to invest time in yoga, Pilates and other forms of self-care, may not realize how financial stress can undermine everything else. Our finances can influence our career choices, our ability to spend time with people we care about, whether we can afford to join a gym, how much we can spend on food or healthcare, and ultimately how we define our self-worth. Our finances are an integral part of our total well-being; yet so often they are ignored, put to the side, or handed over to someone else. Nowadays, women play a key decisionmaking role in managing family finances, and have a powerful impact on building the family legacy. You have the power to take control of your money and flip the script on your finances, and you can begin doing it in 2020. 140
THERE IS STRENGTH IN NUMBERS Strength in Numbers is a self-care approach to financial well-being, which develops attitudes, education, and activities to prevent stress and disease, improve overall health, and enhance quality of life. Through the Strength in Numbers women’s network, a program of the Harmony Financial Wellness Group, our goal is to help you create a healthy practice of financial wellness by replacing limiting beliefs and bad habits with positive ones to begin or enhance your journey toward total wellness.
4. Put your oxygen mask on first. You cannot be the superwoman you’d like to be, without engaging in moments of self-renewal, taking time to recharge your battery. 5. Seek contentment over perfection. It is easy to go from hero to zero in our role as family caregiver. Support and honesty from each other enable us to counteract the illusions of perfection on social media, so we can be content in what’s right for us.
Through knowledge, support, and advocacy, our hope is that women in our network are inspired to achieve balance in their financial, physical and emotional lives. Because strength is so much more than physical health, exercise, and nutrition.
6. Design your own career path. There are no right or wrong answers in our decision to work or not to work, nor is it easy to navigate the professional world as a woman. We benefit from actively seeking insight from our sisters, strengthening our confidence and owning the decisions we make at the right time and for the right reasons.
THE SIX PILLARS OF STRENGTH 1. Discover your purpose. Purpose means being present and fully involved in all aspects of living. It also means taking steps toward what you want to accomplish and removing anything that does not serve your purpose.
We developed the Six Pillars of Strength as tool to create harmony between our financial, physical and emotional wellbeing. I encourage you to read them often, as a reminder that you deserve time to focus on yourself, with each pillar as a form of self-care.
2. Demystify your finances. By asking good questions and avoiding the common mistakes, you can understand and take advantage of the most important drivers of long-term financial success.
START YOUR FINANCIAL WELLNESS JOURNEY TODAY Subscribe to the Harmony Financial Wellness Group newsletter, providing a wealth of career, physical health, financial and retirement resources on a monthly basis.
3. Protect your health. The extent to which you make protecting your health a top priority is unquestionably one of the most important financial – yes, financial – investments you can make during your lifetime.
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Stay in touch with the Strength in Numbers women’s network through the Harmony Financial Wellness Group website, Facebook page, and LinkedIn.
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Interested in bringing Strength in Numbers workshops to your organization? This no-cost, twopart educational program provides women with the information and tools necessary to connect with their financial lives in a more intentional way. Reach out to us for Strength In Numbers workshop availability. Let’s learn from one another, and embrace financial wellness in the new year, and beyond. 142
Erica Cummings, CFP has nearly twenty years of experience as a Family Wealth Advisor, and serves as Senior Vice President-Financial Advisor with the Harmony Financial Wellness Group at RBC Wealth Management. Erica helps her clients and their families focus on the connections between the people, goals and values that matter most. She helps clients develop holistic plans for their financial future in hopes of reducing the burden and stress of finances. In 2016, Erica
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created the Strength In Numbers program as an educational resource for women, to strengthen the bonds between their financial health and their physical well-being, and to encourage stronger health, wealth and happiness.
Indigo earthy, bohemian and free spirit. Luxe sumptuous, classic and sophisticated. We have a passion for helping women discover their unique beauty and innate sense of style.
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{ VISIONARY MINDS }
SABINE MONDESTIN BY TAMMY REESE
ACTRESS, SINGER, WRITER, DIRECTOR A N D P RO D U C E R AT M Y D E S T I N Y PRODUCTION From a young age, Sabine showed an interest in both the theater and writing. At the age of nine, she played different roles on Stage, Commercial and Television Shows. Her greatest success came when she interpreted the role of Cleopatra, whom she played for four years.
sold out and acclaimed by the media. Sabine shoes blog gets thousands of visitors every month and gained popularity exponentially. In 2014 Sabine Co-Created OWTFF (Open World Toronto Film Festival)Film Festival that help aspiring and established Filmmakers gain exposure and recognition. “The Importance of Smiling”
More than an actress, Sabine was a columnist for the TV show “Noir de Monde” and a freelance researcher for national Radio and Television stations.
She wrote over 22 TV/Movie scripts and is managing multiple projects with budget ranging from $1000 to $5000000. In 2014 Sabine stared in a lead role in “The Vagina Monologues” play, all nights were 146
In Her Own Words: Sabine: I am a film lover and a filmmaker myself .I wanted to create a glamorous film festival that would be accessible for everybody. That is why the event is free or by donation I wanted to connect new filmmakers to the world. So far the highlight sin my life are my festival and my production company. I am happy to be able to create my own content. I love writing and the fact that I can write and produce my own stuff is just amazing. The major obstacle in my career is usually funding it’s really hard to fund my project. I usually work really hard and put money on the side to have the freedom to create. I don’t know if it’s inspiring for others but I know that I never wait for the phone. I know that you can not wait for other people to believe in you. Do it yourself even if it means to work 24/7. Another obstacle is you need to surround yourself with people who understand your passion.
Ms. Mondestin also founded and owns the production company, “ MyDestiny Production“, with which she Produced, Directed, and Wrote the Web Series/Movie ”13 Witches”. She received several awards including the ”Outstanding Producing for a Sci-Fi Horror Series” at the Prestigious LAWEB festival in Los Angeles. Another Sabine success story is the Short Movie “Insanity” which is an Official Selection of many 2014-15 Film Festivals. In addition to writing, acting and directing, Sabine is also a singer. She recently wrote and interpreted the lyrics for “Let Them Hate”, “Une Mangeuse d’hommes” and “I Just Want My Chocolate” three songs produced by Steve Lareau.
the road of my life will be a hard one.” – Sabine Mondestin
When I was born my mother use to tell me that I used to laughing for nothing .I was in my cradle and i was staring at the ceiling and I used to laugh and laugh for no reason …When I looked back I guess I was laughing because I knew that I will have a hard childhood and I better laugh now” – when I am still cute. I probably knew that I better be happy now because
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Women need to remember that they deserve a seat a the table. Don’t wait until everything is perfect to do something just do it. Don’t ask for permission just do it .I used to be like that and it did not help me in my life. I know now that we can be ambitious, nice, and successful but never wait for permission. To contact Sabine email sabinemondestin@yahoo.ca Or visit her website https://sabinemondestin.com/
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{ VISIONARY MINDS } “Women need to remember that they deserve a seat a the table. Don’t wait until everything is perfect to do something just do it.”
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NEED PUBLICITY/ PRESS/ VIDEOGRAPHY/ PHOTOGRAPHY FOR YOUR EVENT ? EMAIL VISIONARYMINDSNY@GMAIL.COM
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{ WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS }
NURTURING HANDS MASSAGE & SAUNAFIED BY EVELYN SPRUILL
Evelyn K Spruill is a Rochester area woman on a mission to change the way we care about our one main vehicle, our body. Spruill says, “We need to focus on prevention of disease and complimenting traditional medical practices with healthy alternative treatments to prevent disease and/ or heal ourselves. Focusing not only on the physical (body) but also the emotional (mind) and spiritual (soul) aspects of our selves to create harmony within.” Spruill has been a practicing licensed massage therapist and business owner for over 20 years. Not long after graduating from Nazareth College in Pittsford NY with a bachelor’s degree in music therapy and a minor in voice in 1993 Spruill’s career path took a totally different path. In November 1994 her brother Mark lost his battle with Melanoma, a deadly form of skin cancer. “It was an honor for me to care for Mark during his last year of life. I learned so much from him, especially how to appreciate the simple things in life. I decided to become a Licensed Massage Therapist soon after Mark’s death. I truly believe that through Mark’s influence on me I’ve been able to help to help
many people who cross my path. As a massage therapist I am able to let my clients know if I see something abnormal in a mole, lump or a change in their body and encourage them to have a specialist take a look at it. Spruill says “My office is my sanctuary. I’m a healer, she exclaims. Massaging people makes me feel good and it makes my clients feel good too. I really love what I do. I am blessed
music. This class teaches the caregiver how to safely massage their 8 week old to precrawler infant. The class incorporates a variety of songs to use while massaging your baby. Spruill also teaches YoMassage. YoMassage is a new concept that combines restorative stretches (yoga poses) with massage, meditation, music, essential oils, and mindfulness. Our class begins with mindful breathing followed by 5-6 restorative stretches. During the stretches you will be fully supported with the aid of props as you comfortably maintain each pose. Throughout the series of poses, Spruill will be massaging each class participant. Class will end with a relaxing breathing exercise, positive affirmations or meditation.
to have a job that I really enjoy and truly love.” Spruill opened Nurturing Hands Massage in 1999 and offers a variety of massage modalities including, swedish, hot stone, deep tissue, sports, infant, baby, prenatal, aroma touch, and therapeutic. Several classes are also offered. She offers a class called infant massage and
Spruill says “it’s like a mindfulness retreat from everyday stresses, a mini full body massage, meditation and relaxing stretches. What a great way to take a break from reality.” Along with participating in small ongoing classes participants can form their own private classes with their friends. Spruill says “by providing these private classes we can offer a ladies night out, a couples night out, mother daughter, etc. We
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{ WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS } “Focusing not only on the physical (body) but also the emotional (mind) and spiritual (soul) aspects of our selves to create harmony within.”
can cater to the group by adding chair massage, infrared sauna or an option of making an essential oil body product to take home.” In 2017 After learning about the multitude of benefits offered by infrared saunas from a family member, Spruill felt compelled to expand her business to include this service. She first offered the use of the infrared saunas to her massage clients. After hearing testimonies from her client’s of the many wellness effects on them, she decided to add a second sauna. Thus Saunafied opened in June of 2018. Now her saunas draw people looking for relief from everyday stresses as well as those who seek the health benefits to help them handle chronic illness and pain. Spruill uses the saunas regularly herself and says
“they just make me feel so good. I use one first thing in the morning and I leave the sauna feeling refreshed , energized and ready to take on my day.” Studies show there are many health benefits to regular infrared sauna use. They eliminate toxins from your body, relieve muscle and joint pains, burn calories ( 400-600 calories in a 30 minute session), increase metabolism, reduce stress and tension, rebalance the body, strengthen the immune system and improve skin tone. And all of this is done naturally. Far-Infrared Radiant (FIR) heat provides all the healthy benefits of natural sunlight without any of the dangerous effects of solar radiation. Spruill says “clients can schedule sauna time in conjunction with a
massage or in a dedicated session. Our saunas feature both Infrared Radiant Heat and Chromotherapy Lighting, allowing us to provide a variety of alternative wellness options”. Spruill loves providing her clients with new alternative treatments for health and wellness and plans to continue to expand and keep current the services she offers to the Rochester community. She welcomes you to stop by, visit her sanctuary and let her share the healing gifts she’s been blessed with to help you live a healthier life. www.PittsfordMassageAndSauna. com Nurturing Hands Massage and Saunafied are located at 640 Kreag Road Suite 202 Pittsford ( Bushnells Basin )
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MARION RAMSEY BY TAMMY REESE
LOOKING BACK ON THE PAST & LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE Marion Ramsey is an Actress and Singer born in Philadelphia, PA now in Los Angeles, California best known for her role as the squeakyvoiced Officer Laverne Hooks in the Police Academy movie franchise. Central NY Woman Online Magazine Co Publisher and Editor Tammy Reese sat down for an interview with Marion to discuss the past, rise to fame and the future. Marion Ramsey day dreamed of being a star at age four. Who thinks of that at age four? She did. Many friends made fun of her because she would sing so loudly that the neighbors would hear and make cat calls like wolves. Marion thought someone would hear her sing and say “where did that voice come from” like in the movies when they say “I have to find that girl” . She admired her oldest brother who had a wonderful singing voice. He was an multitalented artist. Marion wanted to be just like him. Her brother started 160
a male singing group and would let Marion sit in on the rehearsals as long as she behaved her self. Her brother would tell the group to sing, but he was the only one who could sing well. When Marion turned nine she wanted to start her own girls singing group of four. She told the parents of all the girls who all lived on same block that rehearsals would be on Saturdays. All the parents agreed including Marion’s mom. Just like
her brother she too was the only one in the group who could sing well. After a while the girls began to come late or not come to rehearsal at all. That along with the other girls not being able to sing well as she did Marion dissolved the group. Others encouraged Marion to keep going, but she was disappointed no one took the group as serious as she
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did. Still Marion knew one day her dreams would come true. Years later Marion auditioned for a high school musical and sang the Lord’s Prayer acapella. The director insisted that he speak to Marion’s parents right away. She thought she did something wrong. The Director just wanted to express to her parents how great and talented she was and that she really needed to pursue this as a career. Marion’s mom who was a cook at the school during that time eventually got sought out by the Director who stated one day Marion is going to be a star ! As time told he was absolutely right! She sang many songs as lead in school plays which made her get better and better as an Actress and Singer. After high school her friends got jobs, but Marion didn’t know what she wanted to do. She wasn’t thinking about being a star at this time because there was family pressure for Marion to find work instead. Everyone was bragging about their kids with jobs. Her parents couldn’t because she didn’t have a job yet.
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{ SOMETHING FOR THE SISTERS } “Marion Ramsey day dreamed of being a star at age four. Who thinks of that at age four? She did.”
Marion now a teen newly out of high school would kill time down town and dress up as if she was looking for a job. Eventually landing a job shipping orders for a manufacturing company. Memories Marion has being new to the work force were having to knock out lots of work by her self when a co worker was out with the flu.
was discovered by a Goldwin (Yes MGM Goldwin) and was referred to audition for the Police Academy film. Marion created a tiny scared and squeaky voice for one of Police Academy fan favorite characters Officer Laverne Hooks from hanging with Michael Jackson for a hour she mimicked his voice into the character. When Marion told me that story I was blown away. How cool!
Getting opportunities to go NYC for the first time for auditions her Boss said if she didn’t show up to work she would be fired. Marion’s mom said “what ever she decided would be the right choice”. She had a strong family support system. Ma r i o n d e c i d e d to go to NYC an indulge in those new opportunities then came back to work and was let go. One of the first lessons of having to choose a job vs having a career you desire or are destined to have. Many other roles and auditions took place through out the years including commercials, musicals, tv pilots, touring stage shows and more . Marion became a member of Actors Equity Union and Screen Actors Guild. By sticking with her passion and never giving up Marion
than the budget. They are legendary pieces of work . Tammy : What are you working on now ? Marion: I’m Working on creating several things now . One being a TV show concept which is in the works for talent who are known and undiscovered who need a leg up or haven’t gotten the right moment yet that they need to be seen on a platform and get exposure. I will be hands on with this including apart of the casting. There are way too many overlooked people. Stay tuned. Tammy : What is some advice you would give anyone wanting to get in the film industry but may feel discouraged?
Tammy : How would you sum up your experience working on Police Academy 1-6 which are all still iconic films to this day? Marion: The little engine that could. The studio didn’t believe in the movie at first and wanted another film to be a hit . The films banked more
Ma r i o n : T h e r e will always be discouraging things, but it’s how you handle it. There were friends who once told me I’m over with. They only want blonde hair and blue eyes , or a Midwestern look not a ethnic look. Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor came out with Silver Streak it changed everything. So don’t worry about the naysayers. Be yourself, remember a pen mightier
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{ SOMETHING FOR THE SISTERS } “Marion created a tiny scared and squeaky voice for one of Police Academy fan favorite characters Officer Laverne Hooks from hanging with Michael Jackson for a hour she mimicked his voice into the character. ”
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{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE }
TAMMY VREELAND BY TAMMY VREELAND
I was born in 1966 in Indiana. I grew up watching Alfred Hitchcock movies and a classic soap opera called Dark Shadows. In High School, I loved Mary Shelley, Stephen King and V. C. Andrews. I then advanced to Clyde Barker. I was fascinated with horror, reading horror gave me a chance to escape. I always felt that no matter how bad I thought I may have it, the poor people I read in those horror novels always had it so much worse! Which in turn, made me realize my life wasn’t that bad.
in full costume, with my fairy helpers and props. Children love it! And honestly, being able to connect with the children, has been such a rewarding experience for myself! My Unseen Beauty series became a symbol to me, due to my past. Unfortunately, in my past, I was not given encouragement or even acknowledgement of my own unseen beauty. I had always seen it in others and once I traveled outside my environment, saw it throughout the world. And yet, my past, kept blocking what was within myself.
In 1985, I married and we moved to Chicago. We lived there for five years, then back to Indiana for five years and then finally to where I am now, New Jersey. Moving to Chicago and New Jersey was a real eye opener for a small town girl like me. But one, I am so happy I was able to experience! Chicago introduced me to a whole new world and New Jersey simply added to my growth as a person. Unlike a small town, I was exposed to a melting pot of different religions, races and politics. Settling in New Jersey when both my boys were just starting school, also gave them the chance to get the same exposure. Which in turn, gave them the flexibility of acceptance that I did not have growing up.
Only through encouragement from the people in my present, did I begin to chip away at my insecurities. To realize, the past could no longer have control over me. I had finally broken free of its ugly grasp!
I started writing horror stories 16 years ago. This last year, due to a charity event, I tried my hand at writing a children’s book. Something, I had never planned on doing but have thoroughly enjoyed!
With my Unseen Beauty series, my goal is to reach as many boys and girls as I can, to make them realize no one should have the power to keep their own unseen beauty hidden. Even if it seems that all the people surrounding them are trying to suffocate it, abuse it, destroy it, it WILL prevail!
So much so, I do readings for the children
It will burst out and it will blind all those
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who doubted them, controlled them. It will make the ones doing the emotional abuse to try and reach out and bask in it, take credit for it but it will always be just a ray of sunshine away. For no matter what, once you own your unseen beauty within, you will become untouchable! I had tried writing in the past but when I finally got the nerve to show it to the people in my life at that time, they laughed at me, belittled me and that was the end of it. When I met my current husband, Paul, I came across my story while moving in with him. Taking a big leap of faith, I read him the story. He loved it! Was curious how I was going to end it. Encouraged me to end it! For the first time in my life, I had someone who believed in me. Which in turn, allowed me to believe in myself. Paul and I have been married 15 years. A year and a half ago, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. He was given 2 years to live. I was devastated, he is literally my heart and soul. It was and is a dark time we have dealt with and are winning. He is clear! They call him their miracle. Although, it could come back at any time it all looks clear and very promising, so we are only thinking positively! I have to admit, it was an eye opener. Paul and I have always deeply loved one another, two halves making a whole, but since we have had to face this we appreciate life even more. We live, love and laugh as much as we can. Making as many memories, as we can. Because the community, friends and his family were so supportive during that dark time, I have been trying to give back as much as I can. The children’s book has helped me accomplish what I want to contribute.
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{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE } “My Unseen Beauty series became a symbol to me, due to my past. Unfortunately, in my past, I was not given encouragement or even acknowledgement of my own unseen beauty.”
My son is in the Coast Guard, so I have donated books to the families of active duty personnel. My husband and I participate in motorcycle runs (yes, I ride my own Harley which I named Bling) for the POW and other charity events. Although we are not members of any clubs at this time, we prefer to be able to do multiple charities. I also donated my books to Kenya. Which I am very excited about, a friend of mine traveled to Kenya and took my children’s book there for a new community building that was opening. They not only loved the story but they listen to my reading of the story I had posted on Facebook, from the Renaissance Fair, so they can follow along and learn English. One day, I would love to go there in person and read to them.
in the series contains 13 short stories, along with a main story tying them all together. My first six horror stories published, are full length novels and stand on their own. Messages I try to convey through storytelling in my horror genre is, I try to make my story one that allows the reader to identify with the story but more importantly, escape from everyday living. I put a lot of research into my horror novels. Not only to make the story more credible but if a reader comes across something they may question, they can look it up themselves and feel satisfied. How many of you, after seeing a movie or reading a book, wonder if that really happened? Then you look it up, out of curiosity, which in the end prolongs the story in your mind.
I love contributing to libraries. In the small town I grew up, there was no library. We had to wait on the Book Mobile to visit once a month. In which, I was limited to what I could read. But I am proud to say all of my books are in the new library back home in Indiana, library here in New Jersey, Alaska, Oklahoma, Dominica Republic, Nicaragua, and Paris. Believe it or not they have signed copies of my books in a Russian Library too! Who would have ever thought a country girl from Indiana would have her books in a Russian Library? (Full credit to friends I have met over the years!)
I also look for a fear factor. That being, something that can scare all readers. My goal is to take the reader and place them in a situation they may be able to identify with, in their own lives.
I am an open book, hopefully my past will inspire other women to believe in themselves. The only reason I list my age (53) is to show the different era I was raised in and that it is never too late to start believing in yourself. I am not ashamed of my age.
The first children’s book explains what unseen beauty is and how to look for it in others. The second book helps with finding unseen beauty within. The third book is a vacation book, allowing the child to realize unseen beauty is all over the world. I then have a children’s Halloween book explaining spooky verses scary. My latest children’s book is on how to make a friend. A story set in the winter with the “making” of a snow friend out of snowballs.
I am currently working on my ninth horror book, the next in my series White Noise – Volume 3. I plan on there being a total of four in the series. The White Noise series is my first collection of short stories. Each book
For my children’s books, I try to have a moral that doesn’t look like a moral. A subtle way for a child to learn something without them realizing they are learning. Fun easy stories with a catch, to get them to want to pick up the book more than once. I have five children’s books published, all dealing with the concept of “unseen beauty”.
I created my children’s books as “gender less” stories. I do not use “he or she” throughout the books. My main character is named “Ani” which can be a boy or girl’s name but also if you spell it “An1” can be “Anyone” allowing the reader to be anyone. I use “Ruler” verses a “King or Queen”. I did this for the child so they can easily put their selves into the story. Growing up in a society where there was a definite stigma gender based agenda, I wanted to create new stories where there are no gender characters. Where while reading the story, a child can feel like this story relates to them or even the person reading the story to them. Allowing the child to feel that the story is unique for them. Growing up one of my favorite writers was Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein. Not only was it amazing that she wrote a horror story in her day and age but also her political views were way ahead of her time! Unfortunately, in the past there are very few examples of where women were allowed to express their selves, political or otherwise. And yet for a woman today, those women can become an important role model, even though they are from the past. In this day and age, there may not be just one woman’s name that will come to mind in the future. Not one woman’s political idea or belief but instead, a generation of women with different beliefs and ideas all coming together. And that is a wonderful thing, for we all have different beliefs and ideas but acceptance of all, is where we will gain our greatest strength! Some obstacles I try to overcome during my career is I find cyberbullying to be a concern. It is a very fine line to walk. On one hand, you want the freedom of expressing yourself, whether it be for good
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{ WOMEN { SHIFT+CONTROL WHO INSPIRE } } “I am an open book, hopefully my past will inspire other women to believe in themselves.”
bad. On the other hand, there has to be a responsibility attached to that expression. You have to ask yourself, are you using your comments on line for a personal vendetta or a legitimate complaint? I find it frustrating when so many jump to criticism verses complimenting. Someone’s life long hard work can be diminished in a paragraph from someone who has no idea what it took for that person to even put their selves out there. Perhaps as a society being kinder to one another, while still expressing ourselves, would help us all grow.
individualized to them. Advice I would give to anyone who wants to become a writer is, I think the first step is simply believing in yourself! Today there are so many tools you can use to your advantage. The internet alone, will help you find a wealth of information to help you enhance your story. Personally though, I do think sometimes we overload ourselves with rules and techniques on how to write. So much so, that you are almost terrified to write that first sentence!
Types of feedback I get for my books are, for the most part, people seem to enjoy my stories. One of the more common compliments I hear, is how easily the reader can relate to my characters in a story. For example, in one of my horror stories, I have had several people say how well they can identify with this one character. They go on to say, “He reminds me of my boyfriend, husband or even a neighbor”. Curious, I always ask them what the person looks like that they are identifying the character from the story to, surprisingly enough it looks nothing like the character I had in mind! Why is that? Well, we all might know an asshole but they may not be fat and balding! My point is, I think sometimes writers do not give readers enough credit. Readers have placed their precious time, in our hands. As a writer, we need to allow readers to think for themselves and be able to relate to characters we have created. Readers have wonderful imaginations, let them use it! Don’t get caught up in the details, sometimes letting the readers fill in the details will make the story more 170
saying ‘write what you know’ is great advice! Writing about something you know or are passionate about, is always easier to write. However, do not pigeonhole yourself into thinking it has to be something you have experienced personally. It can be an experience from another that was relayed to you as if you lived it or even a dream. A dream may not be real but it still is something we have experienced, you can draw from it. Besides that, the most important thing that I cannot stress enough is, do not write for the idea of making money. Writing is a priceless gift that you give to yourself. If others enjoy your story, that is great! If you make money from your stories, even better! But believe me that first time you read or hold a story you created in your hands, is the most satisfying gift you can give yourself! Each and every one of us has a story to tell. Will you be able to tell it the way you see it or feel it? Only you, will know if you did! It doesn’t matter if others may not see it or feel it the way you did, it’s not their story. It’s not their creation.
Writing can come easy to some, no different than painting for an artist. My suggestion is to simply write, when and where ever you want. You don’t have to be structured, you don’t have to have a quota of words like steps we want to get in for the day. I find if you force yourself to write, it can become harder to write. Also, write the way you like to read. Meaning, if you like dialogue write dialogue or if you like first, second or third person, write it that way. Next suggestion is a classic, the old
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Create and own your story! A story has a beginning, a middle and an ending. Just like life. Although this life you are creating, you have control over and that gives you power! Power to help others, power to help yourself, power to scare or comfort, power to express yourself, and power to even question yourself. Writing is the power to take others to a different place, if even for a short time, use that time to tell your story. To contact Author Tammy Vreeland Email : tvproductions4u@yahoo.com www.tammyvreeland.com
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BEING THE NEW GIRL BY JENNIFER FRARY, LMSW
Hello, Rochester Woman, it’s me: the new girl. Have you ever been the new girl? Of course you have. Depending on your personality, how you felt about that would be different. Me? I love it... in this case, anyway. I’m grateful for the opportunity to write and to share with you some perspectives on mental and emotional wellness. That’s not to say I don’t have some uncomfortable feelings, too. Mostly, being the new girl brings anxiety: will you like me? Will anyone read this? Will you relate?
pedi appointments, though! We can show ourselves our worth, regardless of others’ acceptance, when we take care of our basic physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Many of us thinking of pampering as selfcare, and it is, but that’s not all that self-care is. Meeting my needs, caring for myself, also means keeping appointments, basic personal hygiene, saying “no” to requests I cannot or do not want to take on, etc. A form of self-care that promotes physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness is meditation.
The anxiety here is, as it tends to be, fear of the unknown and fear of failure. I cannot control any of it and that’s difficult for me! It’s feelings like these that make us resist change, even when it comes from a positive opportunity. If you’re the new girl somewhere, here are some tips to manage the anxious feelings: 1. Daily affirmationsyes, this is corny, but it works! Stand in front of your bathroom mirror and smile at yourself for 30 seconds. This will light up some neural pathways in the brain that signal a release of pleasant chemicals. Then, tell yourself what is true and what you want to believe is true [insert your own affirmations here]. Here is what I know to be true of you, simply because you’re human: You are loved. You are worthy of goodness. You can do hard things. If at first you struggle to create your own affirmations, ask a loved one for some of their beliefs about you. 2. Self-care- not just bubble baths and mani-
Download an app or use one of the many guided meditations available on YouTube to get started today for as little as 1.5 minutes of your time. 3. Grounding exercises- sometimes really feeling the ground, sometimes not. Anxiety tends to take us out of the hereand-now and into the future. To manage those feelings we can encourage our minds back into the present. Try this: Firmly plant both feet onto the ground. Notice where your feel the pressure from the ground on
the sole of each foot. Are you wearing socks or shoes? What do those feel like? There! You’ve learned a grounding technique. Another favorite grounding exercise of mine is what I term “color grounding.” Its also pretty simple! Choose a color and scan your environment for objects of that color, noting them as you find them. Upon completion of one color, you may find some continued anxiety, so move on to another color! 4. Play the tape throughvisualizations of successful outcomes and of uncomfortable moments. When we come to a new experience, many of the unknowns we fear are not realistic or rational. The fears that are realistic or rational are likely more surmountable and survivable than we feel in the moment. Playing the tape through involves walking through each step, or anticipated step, of our new experience in our minds. If in our visualization we encounter something that makes us anxious we can practice as many scenarios as we need to get comfortable facing it in real life. 5. Remember this: “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson It is my sincere hope that these suggestions help you succeed in your new experience! If you experience anxiety that is more generalized, or have panic attacks, these techniques may be helpful but not enough. There are many therapists in Rochester, NY who are available to help you understand your anxiety and work to manage it more effectively. Please reach out!
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{ GIVING BACK AT RGH }
SPOTLIGHT ON BOB DROJARSKI BY BECKY PICONE
ONCE A VOLUNTEER… Bob Drojarski believes in the Boy Scout motto- “Do a good turn daily”. He certainly practices that community minded philosophy as he has been treasurer of a nursery school, a cubmaster, an assistant coach, and a union steward. He has sat on a high school advisory committee, and was Irondequoit’s writer in residence. A Rochester native, Bob graduated from Aquinas and RIT, is an Air Force Veteran, and a retired letter carrier. Bob and his late wife, Michele, raised their three children in Irondequoit before retiring to Hilton Head, SC. They returned to Rochester in 2013. When Bob was the main caregiver to Michele, who passed away from complications due to lupus in 2014, his volunteerism had to be put on hold. Michele was an inpatient at RGH for about a month. “When I decided to start volunteering again, RGH was a logical choice because of the compassion that was shown her during her time there.” Bob has been a volunteer with the Care2Connect program at Rochester General Hospital since the Spring of 2019. The program relies on volunteers who are outgoing and who have a natural gift for making people feel comfortable. Doug DellaPietra, Manager of Volunteers and Guest Services, saw this in Bob on the very first day he met him, when he overheard him having many conversations in the waiting area of the volunteer office. He pitched the Care2Connect program to Bob in his initial volunteer meeting, and 176
the match was made. In fact, it was such a perfect fit that Bob is now the trainer for all new Care2Connect volunteers. A TYPICAL DAY Care2Connect volunteers work to create opportunities for connections between patients and the caregivers that tend to them during their stay at the hospital. When Bob arrives for his weekly shift, he checks in with the administrator on the unit who gives him a list of new patients, and touches base with the unit nurses who can guide him to those that may be good candidates for the program. He then visits the recommended patients, to introduce himself, explain the purpose of the program, and ask them if they would like to participate. If a patient is interested, Bob will ask them a series of questions about their interests, happy memories, hobbies, etc. These conversations can be as short as ten minutes, or can last over half an hour. Bob explains, “I take my time and just let the conversation go, even if I’m done with the poster. Sometimes it’s just nice for people to be able to talk.” Responses are recorded on a small poster that will hang outside the patient’s door for visitors and medical staff to take a look at before entering the room. Volunteering with Care2Connect does come with challenges. As Bob explains, “It can be difficult to walk into a patient’s room and ask them to share personal information about themselves. Some patients decline and it’s hard not to internalize that as something
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that I could have done better”. Even when they agree to participate, not all patients are comfortable talking right away. “Sometimes the change in the patient is breathtaking,” Bob shares. “They may initially be wary but after a while, you see their faces light up and their voices change as they share stories of their lives with you. Some of it is heart wrenching and you can’t help but feeling emotional after some of the conversations.” Bob takes the time to build relationships with the nurses, and other staff members in his area. In doing so, he has strengthened a vital part of the process, their engagement in the program. Bob feels the positive effect on patients and staff may be even greater than Care2Connect suggests. “I think having the program has raised their (staff) consciousness regarding how they connect with a patient. As a result of the program I believe that the nurses engage the patients more in conversation even if a poster has not been completed”. VALUABLE CONNECTIONS “I always feel better at the end of my shift”, Bob reflects. “I feel that I’ve made a positive difference in someone else’s life if only for a short time; someone who may be seriously ill. In addition, I enable the potential for many other opportunities for a personal connection to be made by others who come in contact with the patient. I experience that connection first hand and have met a lot of interesting people.” He goes on to add that “it is especially rewarding
{ VISIONARY MINDS }
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{ GIVING { COVER BACK STORY AT RGH } } ““I always feel better at the end of my shift”, Bob reflects. “I feel that I’ve made a positive difference in someone else’s life if only for a short time; someone who may be seriously ill.”
when other visiting family members help out with the posters because it leads to special memories and moments among them.” Bob doesn’t limit his connection opportunities when he’s at the hospital. He happily shared the following story: While I was doing a walk around the floor at the beginning of my shift, I started talking to a patient who was getting some exercise by walking down the halls. His IV was still attached to a portable, rolling stand. 178
He was originally from England and we talked while he walked- I didn’t even have a poster on me! He was very funny, a teller of stories. We continued the conversation and completed the poster in his room with his wife. It lasted an hour. He was retired but was also a free lance writer for a local newspaper and an author of a few books of short stories. He gave me one and inscribed it for me- “To Bob, with fond memories of our visit at RGH”. “My signature gives this book value in 100 years!”
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If you are interested in becoming a part of the Rochester General Hospital volunteer community, or would like more information, please visit RochesterRegional.org/ makeadifference, or call the volunteer office at 585-922-4328. *Volunteers enjoy free parking, access to the Riedman Wellness Center, and a small food stipend during each shift.
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HEALTHY PUPPERS BY JULIE VILINSKY
We believe in dogs… We believe in their good nature, Their loyalty, and their unconditional love. They are our protectors And our best friends. Because They are selfless and they are faithful, we believe they deserve Our absolute best. We believe, because dogs. They bless and enrich our lives by simply being by our side. For many of us, our four legged, furry friends are much more than just our pets. They are our family. They are our constant companions and our natural healers. They heal our heartaches, our sadness, and can even help with our physical ailments. Through all their never ending love, they ask for nothing in return... except maybe to throw that ball for the thousandth time. Healthy Puppers is an ecommerce business owned by Brian and Julie Vilinsky of Webster, New York. Their journey to become Healthy Puppers began several years ago when their furbaby, Webster, was just a puppy. Webster loved stuffed and rope toys more than anything. He would shake them and quickly shred them to pieces. There were many nights of cleaning up after Webster would immediately be sick from ingesting the cotton from these toys, which would bind up in his stomach. After realizing these toys were not safe for their boy, Webster sadly was no longer able to have the things he loved most. The family looked for toys he could not destroy, but few were fun. Webster really had no interest in most of them, because
they were heavy and hard. Until one day when he found a tennis ball one of the kids happened to bring home. Throwing the ball thousands of times a day became everyone’s job. They joked that they should buy stock in tennis balls because they were buying so many as Webster developed a habit of picking at them until he eventually peeled the yellow fuzz coating completely off the ball. Even then the balls were still so much fun to play with! That is until Webster figured out how to break them in
half and started eating the pieces. Webster also had developed some medical issues such as severe anxiety and food allergies. The Vilinsky family soon realized their boy could not eat meat, because it caused him severe itching and rashes… no chicken, no beef, no lamb. This limited treats and food options, since almost everything has at least one of these meat ingredients. After trying a couple different foods and snacks, they started giving Webster fresh and frozen fruits and vegetables for treats. He especially loves anything frozen and the minute they open the freezer, Webster is right there waiting for his special treat. In addition to Webster’s food issues, he suffers from anxiety. He is territorial and
very fearful of strangers. No one is able to come into their home. A few years ago, motivated by a desire to improve Webster’s quality of life, Julie and Brian, together with their four children, they considered hand-making dog toys that were safe if ingested. The whole family researched materials and discovered hemp is 100% natural and digestible. They played around with hemp rope toys and even stuffed toys made from hemp fabric and safe filling. They figured that other dogs would enjoy these ropes and perhaps it could be a family hobby and side hustle. However, they soon discovered working with raw hemp rope was extremely harsh on their hands, and the process was tabled indefinitely. Healthy Puppers actually came to fruition at the end of 2018 after Brian had a silent, or commonly called a widow makers, heart attack. As he was recovering and the family was figuring out what things needed to change in their lives to improve his overall health and wellness, they came back around to improving their furbaby’s life as well. The thought of helping all dogs live their best life had never left their minds, and with the expertise they had earned through Webster’s tribulations, they knew dog moms and dads everywhere could benefit from their knowledge. Together with their children, Hannah, Mackenzie, Samantha, and Ben, Healthy Puppers was created. Focusing on the overall health and wellness became their passion and the core of Healthy Puppers. The Vilinskys wanted to encompass how truly special dogs are and the friendship and loyalty they freely give to their humans. They began researching toys currently on
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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “A few years ago, motivated by a desire to improve Webster’s quality of life, Julie and Brian, together with their four children, they considered hand-making dog toys that were safe if ingested.”
the market looking to see which represented all they wanted to encompass in their business. Because Webster is an aggressive chewer, the Vilinskys not only looked for the toys which are free of toxins, but also those ranked highest for durability. Only the absolute best makes the cut. Webster, of course, is the product tester; a job he thoroughly enjoys! When a new box is delivered, of course Webster’s anxiety kicks in and the driver gets a loud warning from inside the house. But after it’s safe, and he realizes it’s a new toy to be tested, Webster gets right to work! He chews, slobbers, tosses, and begs his family to join in the fun! Through this journey the Vilinskys have learned a lot. One of the most shocking things they uncovered while researching safe dog toys, was the lack of regulations for dog toy safety. Many products your dogs chew on contain toxins such as Arsenic, Bromine, and Formaldehyde. They may also contain lead and fiberglass. It is so frightening that our loyal and faithful friends, who cannot talk about how they are feeling are constantly exposed to toxins and unsafe materials that can cause serious health issues. The exposure to these toxic materials does not only affect dogs that destroy their toys, but are simply ingested through swallowing. These chemicals are being mixed with 186
your dogs saliva just by their holding of the toy in their mouths as they are soulfully looking at you with those big puppy eyes asking to play fetch. Healthy Puppers is not only about safe toys; they also carry a variety of products aimed at your furbaby’s overall health and wellness.
pets need to have a voice in the discussions in this burgeoning industry. Healthy Puppers is fully committed to educating their customers on this natural wellness supplement, and love to share how it has improved Webster’s quality of life. They offer both CBD oil and treats, as well as CBD shampoo. Healthy Puppers works with several volunteer dog rescues and shelters, such as Brindle Posse, Pitty Love Rescue, Verona Street Animal Services, and Lollipop Farm. They have learned a lot about how to safely exercise dogs and what collars and harnesses are the best to keep your best friend safe and comfortable. It is through their continued love for dogs and their work with these agencies that Healthy Puppers has found the best products which allow you to make safe corrections to behaviors while you are out on a stroll with your puppers.
Recently, CBD products have made a huge appearance in the health and wellness industry over the years. CBD can help your four legged baby with a multitude of ailments such as anxiety, pain and inflammation, seizures, and more. When looking for the right CBD products, do your research. Because they are so committed to making sure to offer the best products, Brian is a member of the New York State Hemp Lab. He is very involved, as CBD affects dogs differently than it does humans, so our
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Dogs are our dearest and fiercest protectors and our constant companions. They deserve the absolute best. Healthy Puppers is committed to helping those who want the best for their pups. Let’s promote happiness and wellness for our dogs together! For more information on Healthy Puppers email Julie@healthypuppers.com or Jsquirrell8@gmail.com or call 585-260-7338. www.healthypuppers.com
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{ HER EDGE }
NEW YEAR, SAME ME BY ROBIN DEWIND I PHOTOS BY JIM HOOPER
My girlfriend posted a picture on Facebook of her and me along with another friend of ours. It was placed next to virtually the same picture from ten years earlier. It was just days before the New Year and everyone seemed to be taking part in the “Decade Challenge”; 2009 versus 2019 where people post two images side by side and compare. I saw the pictures popping up all over on my feed and thought it was fun and amusing until she posted ours.
at me? Was she happy? What were her goals and resolutions at the close of the second decade of the new millennium? Although only ten years had gone by, she felt like a stranger to me. Would I have done anything different if I knew then, what I know now? In the ten years that followed that picture
I enjoyed seeing teenagers with braces and bad hair turn into young women in college with their best years ahead of them. I smiled at those who had hardly changed at all. In fact some looked even better with age.
But instead of making me happy and thankful, the picture plunged me into mass self-reflection. I became frustrated and almost narcissistic about what I had become. Was I now dressing frumpier, did I gain more weight, who was that younger woman smiling and staring back 190
My daughter was in early grade school and I was certain that’s where she would stay forever, wanting to be only with me, watching movies and playing with her American Girl dolls. But even she failed me, she started to grow up. I kept the image of the “decade” picture in my head for several days as talk of a “New Year” and the next ten years started to fill my head. Each year I start off with the same resolutions; lose ten pounds, exercise more, spend less money at the mall. They are my go-to big three. If I could accomplish all of them then my life would be perfect. They’ve been in my rotation for nirvana for at least three decades now and I’m not sure I’ve ever really tackled any of them for more than a few months at a time.
I cringed when I saw myself. Clearly my mid-forties looked a lot more socially fun. I was in the middle of the photograph between my two friends shining and smiling. I had on some sort of sparkly tank top that I can’t remember owning. I was showing a little more upper arm and cleavage than I’m allowing these days (sitting firmly in my midfifties). I was touched by the fact that we were all still friends and doing what we loved to do together; eating a nice dinner out, drinking good wine and catching up on all the gossip.
five-pounds” weight was all but impossible. My waistline disappeared and keeping a positive attitude while sweating was an hourly challenge.
I was forced out of a 30-year career in television that I loved with little notice. I had to figure out how to earn a new living after being rejected by a job market that had passed me by. Menopause hit like a tsunami. I spent years feeling tired, overwhelmed and hot - all the time. I lived for naps, only to feel guilty and angry for sleep-walking through my days. Maintaining my “I still need to lose
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My January quest for selfimprovement usually leaves me feeling like a failure, with a laundry list of detours and excuses as to why a New Year roles around and I’m still the same me. But on this January 1st I got up not only looking back at the past decade but also ahead. Surprisingly all of my negative, over-blown self-reflection started to have a positive impact. When a new year begins are we supposed to wipe the slate clean of everything that’s happened to us? Bad habits are replaced
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{ HER EDGE } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Lucky for me, I’m not perfect and I can’t stick to my resolutions or I would have missed out on all the really big and wonderful changes going on in my life.”
with good energy and ways to improve. Don’t get me wrong, I embrace the idea of self-improvement and expect it for myself, but just because the calendar says so, do I really want to start over with a clean slate? It occurred to me that my best self often comes when I’m not intentionally trying to improve. Our best version happens when we are forced to dig in, figure it out and move forward. It’s never when the calendar tells us to. A decade of self-doubt, reinvention, struggling, juggling, heart-break and loses, eventually led me to who and where I am today.
Resolutions don’t define us. The journey does. I’ve decided I don’t want to clean the slate. I want to keep moving forward, messing up and learning. It creates a better more realistic picture for my life. Ten years ago I was sitting behind an anchor desk, reading the news. Today I read the news on my computer from my office at home with a cup of coffee on my own schedule. I was helping my daughter learn how to make brownies. Today I’m teaching her to drive. Now, I love to nap and don’t feel guilty at all. The rest helps me move on with my day and feel energized Resilience, compassion, patience and
forgiveness came to me in small little moments over the past decade and I didn’t even know it. Lucky for me, I’m not perfect and I can’t stick to my resolutions or I would have missed out on all the really big and wonderful changes going on in my life. As for the girl in the sparkly top, I’ve made peace with her. She was always so hard on herself, trying to live up to so many expectations. It’s a new year, but the same me, and that’s okay.
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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@GMAIL.COM
{ IN { SPECIAL HER OWN FEATURE WORDS} }
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{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN }
FLEXING GOAL SETTING MUSCLES BY KRISTIN BAUER-GROSS
MAPPING OUT YOUR 2020 MODEL AND ACTING YEAR As a model success coach for small market models and actors who are getting started in the industry or ready to take their modeling and/or acting to the next level, one thing I notice similar among my clients is they have a dream or goal they are trying to reach. Their enthusiasm fuels my enthusiasm to reach their goals! But life gets busy, roadblocks pop up, our thoughts get jumbled and we end up not reaching goals we dream of achieving. Get set up for success in 2020 by mapping out your goals through this journaling exercise. Below are 3 steps for reaching goals through mapping out your year. 1.) Get Clear on Your Why: What is it you’d like to do or create this year? Think about the reasoning behind that goal. Getting clear on our “why” helps us keep going for our goals even when things get hard or we face challenges. Write down
your why for 2.) SMART GOALS: There are 12 months and 365 days in a year. Breaking dreams into specific realistic goals for this year. Setting big vague goals leave us feeling frustrated if the goal is not met. Journal prompt: write down your big dream then
M – Measurable – How will you know you’ve achieved your goal? Make the goal quantifiable to easily track progress A – Attainable – set a goal that is realistic and that you have resources and tools to attain R – Relevant – Goal aligns with who you are and your values or mission T – Timely – Assign your goal a deadline
use the SMART GOALS to make it specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timely. Re-write the goal into a SMART GOAL. S – Specific – focus in on a specific goal that is direct, detailed and meaningful
3.) Break the goals into baby steps. Write down the steps and then assign each baby step a block of time into your calendar. Break each mini-goal into even smaller baby steps by writing down all the things you’ll need to do to accomplish this goal. If it is hard to know what all the steps are at least come up with the first actions. This might even be researching, planning, building confidence, saving up the money for the goal or finding a teacher, mentor, expert or coach who can help you figure out the steps to reach the goal. All of these are still steps towards the goal.
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{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN } “The program gives aspiring and experienced models and actors training modules and a focus each month to reach your talent goals and dreams.”
Next, write into your calendar blocks of time to work on this goal. If this goal is a priority it may mean saying no to other commitments or goals. We can do it all. We just can’t do it all at the same time. Creating a habit around a goal can be helpful to reach it. Such as planning to work on the goal a little every day or week at the same time, having a monthly session with a coach or teacher, or scheduling phone calls with a friend who can be your accountability partner and you can help one another stay on track. My online program ACTION designed for small market models and actors to learn, connect and 198
succeed launched successfully in 2019! In this program accessible from a smartphone or computer I teach a monthly training and have a monthly expert with time at the end of each call for questions and laser coaching with me. The program gives aspiring and experienced models and actors training modules and a focus each month to reach your talent goals and dreams. Best of all if you miss any of the live components you can watch later in the membership portal. Many busy people even do it completely as a self-study although research shows people have the most success in online programs when they show up live at least part of the time.
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Special for RWO readers get 50% off your 1st month of the ACTION program by using code: HALFOFF1STMONTH Learn more about ACTION and sign up here: www.KristinB.com/actionprogram Attend my next FREE Masterclass: https://linktr.ee/kristinbauergross Tune in for my IGTV show “Model Tips” on Instagram @KristinBauerGross
{ INTEGRATIVE HEALTH }
FORM BY AMANDA FITE
Improving your overall health and well-being in 2020 begins with just 1% a day for 365 days of impact.
• No screen time for at least 30 minutes before bed, optimally one hour no screens.
Feeling confident in your self-care and improved health comes with easy adjustments to everyday habits in body, mind and spirit. Small changes add up for big impact over the course of the year and set you up for a sustainable approach to holistic health habits for your lifetime.
• Keep lights lower in the house during that sleep routine. • Aim for 7-8 hours each night, but the key is the quality!
Here are some small changes to integrate into your daily routine:
Eat real food. • The closer the food is to the way it grew in the ground or roamed on the earth the better.
• Only eat prepared/packaged foods with ingredients you can pronounce. Give yourself QUALITY sleep. • Have a bedtime routine to signal your body to wind down. 200
• Movement that shakes us of stagnant patterns can be as simple as walking to more complex movement like yoga, tai chi or CrossFit. Small changes aren’t just for the body. Taking ownership of your overall well-being means thinking about how you think, too. Think positively.
You already eat, sleep, drink and move about each day. Do it with a little more intention.
• E a t p re p a re d / packaged foods with less than 6-8 ingredients in them.
• Movement in all planes of motion everyday loosens the layers of connective tissue that shape who we are (fat, muscle, skin, fascia) and keeps us from feeling stiff.
Drink enough water. • Make it a goal to hit half your body weight in ounces of water per day. For example: if you are a 200lb person you need 100 ounces of water per day. Move that body.
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The quality of our holistic life experience corresponds to the quality of thoughts in our mind. So think good thoughts to feel good. Being diligent about this comes with a familiarity of your existing thoughts and proactively working to improve them. For some, this is very unnatural so a good way to start is with monitoring your thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. Monitoring your thoughts may seem like a lot of work at first but I promise with practice it gets easier, just like with so many things in life. First, just start by noticing your thoughts
{ INTEGRATIVE HEALTH } “Monitoring your thoughts may seem like a lot of work at first but I promise with practice it gets easier, just like with so many things in life.”
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{ INTEGRATIVE HEALTH} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Monitoring your thoughts may seem like a lot of work at first but I promise with practice it gets easier, just like with so many things in life. “
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throughout the day. Keep a thought journal and write down every time you have a negative thought in a specific time frame.
into “Every moment I am doing the best I can with the tools I have” or simply “I always know what to say and when to say it.”
when you make a mistake allows for getting back up, dusting yourself off and recommitting to your ultimate goal of a healthier you quickly.
Evolve your thinking
Be compassionate with yourself
After you have a better grasp on the content of your thoughts start to change the negative thoughts about yourself, other people and situations into positive ones by thinking the positive reverse of whatever you are thinking negatively about. For example, if you think “Why did I say that? I am so dumb.” Change that
Changing habits and thought patterns takes time and effort. There will be times of epic success and some failure. Take each experience in stride and be kind to yourself when you have a day that does not go exactly as expected. Extend the kind of compassion to yourself that you would to another person. Kindness toward yourself
Just 1% a day makes a new approach to holistic wellbeing easy
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The tools are already within you. One day at a time you can integrate small changes to your current body and mind behaviors to set yourself up for a lifetime of success. Commit to just 1% improvement each day for 365 days of impact.
346 N Goodman St Rochester, New York 14607 (585) 752-3644 youareforming.com
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DR. KATHLEEN WRIGHTKNOTHE BY CORTNEY KRUEGER I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS
Dr. Kathleen Wright-Knothe is a Certified High Performance Coach and a psychologist. She is on a mission to help create a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every day feeling good, enjoy what they do for a living, and have a positive impact on others and the world.
You know in your heart that there is something higher. There’s more to give, to serve, and achieve, to be, to do, to experience.
She is a certified High Performance Coach through Brendon Burchard and his High Performance Institute. Brendon is the highest compensated high performance coach in the world and has worked with Fortune 50 CEOs, Olympians, celebrities, and other high level leaders.
This is the time to work with a coach. A coach is with you every step of the way. You need someone who has the
You worked hard to get where to where you are. You are intelligent, but you are not at the level you want to be.
This coaching program has been shown in 2 major research studies to teach the right habits to reach and maintain high performance. These habits are: (1) getting clarity, (2) generating energy, (3) raising necessity, (4) increasing productivity, (5) developing greater influence, and (6) demonstrating courage. Do yo u h a ve h i g h ambitions, a mission, want a purposedriven life, do great things, have an awesome quality of life, be fully alive? High performance coaching will help you achieve this. You want to feel joyful, creative, like you are connecting with other people, that you are contributing to others and the world. You deserve to have more, be more. You don’t want to settle for OK or “fine”. 204
knowledge and the skills to rally you to a higher level. There are so many great things we can have in our lives if we have someone to help guide us. People get confused about what coaching is and why it’s so helpful. They know they need help. The first thing people say about why they hire a coach is that they need greater
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CLARITY. They know they need a higher level of understanding, certainty, and confidence about where they are going. Sometimes you get trapped in old unhelpful thinking. You need someone to help you identify unhelpful mindsets. A coach gets you to “ah ha” moments and breakthroughs faster. The second reason for hiring a coach is to become more CONGRUENT. Do you know what your highest self is like, when you are operating on all cylinders, when you are in alignment with your values, when you are being your best self? What a coach does is to keep you congruent. If you say something is important to you and you don’t follow through, your coach will remind you with no judgement in a caring way. This is soooo important because it’s very easy to be a high performing person sometimes, or a cheerful, healthy person in cycles. The third reason why someone hires a coach is to have comraderie. No one wants to go on their journey alone. When you are trying to achieve big things, you want someone to talk through things with, brainstorm with. It is best to have a coach who you can talk about your doubts and your frustrations with, things you may not want to share with other people. You need a professional to talk it through with, to listen, and reflect. A coach can help you stay focused and achieve your goals FASTER and SUSTAIN them.
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{ TALKING WITH THE DOCTOR } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “Do you have high ambitions, a mission, want a purpose-driven life, do great things, have an awesome quality of life, be fully alive? High performance coaching will help you achieve this.”
The coaching Dr. Wright-Knothe provides is different from the coaching that is out there in that it is structured. In each session, there is a curriculum. You will be asked questions to help you grow and advance as a person and as a contributor. Every session has an outcome that will move you toward sustained high performance, no matter what you do for a living. You will have confidence that every time you get on a call, she will move you forward, no matter what is going on in your world and no matter whether you moved forward that week. That is the power of having a comrade. Dr. WrightKnothe will keep you moving forward to sustained high performance, to become better in ALL areas of your life. High performance coaches certified through the High Performance Institute are the best trained in the world and have the most comprehensive curriculum.
Dr. Wright-Knothe will take you through a process that we know works, that gets the right outcomes. This program has been tested on thousands of thousands of sessions. This coaching program has an average satisfaction rating of 9.7 out of 10.I n the coaching industry, the average rating is 5 or 6. This coaching program is extraordinary. It is because of the curriculum, the training we receive, the vetting of people allowed into the training. High performance coaching will transform your life. You come out the other side a better person, more able to achieve at the next level, and sustain it. Dr. Wright-Knothe loves to work with leaders who want to help others, make the world a better place, and enjoy their
lives in the process. She is also a psychologist with over 30 years of experience. She is co-owner of Rochester Psychological Associates, PLLC in Fairport, NY. She takes a holistic, mind-body approach in working with her clients. She also uses Emotional Freedom Therapy, otherwise known as “tapping.” This is an extremely effective and efficient method of helping people resolve problems in their lives. Dr. Wright-Knothe is extremely knowledgeable about energy psychology, nutrition, sleep optimization, meditation, leadership, and high performance. She loves learning and is an avid reader of personal and professional development. Dr. Wright-Knothe is married and has 4 adult children. She enjoys travelling, exercising, hiking and walking her dogs.
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WELCOME TO TH
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{ SINGLE DOPE BLACK CHICK }
THE QUEEN CODE BY TIFFANY NICOLE
For those of us who are single, we are often told to focus on ourselves and healing from the last relationship. While this is true, friendships during our single days play a significant role in the next part of our journey. Seems odd I’m sure, but there is a need for the right friends in each facet of life. It is great to have single friends to share the same road with you because they know exactly how you feel and what you’re experiencing; but it doesn’t just stop there. We need married friends, divorced friends, engaged friends and dating friends. Each one of them offer a different insight in this thing we call love. They are able to share from experience what it truly means to be in each specific role. Certainly, most do not go into marriages with the option of divorce on the table. Yet that divorced friend can share what NOT to do in marriage, how to handle the rough patch in relationships without totally giving up. The married friend serves as a role model and living example of what we can expect in a marriage, although every marriage is not the same. You can get a general idea of what it would be like. The married friend’s role subconsciously helps you to prepare for married life while waiting for your husband. Most of us have gotten accustomed to it just
being us and not having to consider someone else in our decision making. The engaged friend can be tricky because she’s super excited and may get a little annoying, but she gives you hope as to what is to come during this stage of your love life. She gives you a front row seat in the preparation not just for the wedding but as a wife. She is the example for the uncomfortable conversations that needs to take place, the roles each
person will play in the household, the marriage counseling, and plans for a future family. Every intricate detail is planned and discussed giving a person insight on what to do in preparation for that day and new stage of your life. The engaged friend also gives you the fears of what life will be like as a new wife and the small insecurities she may share about stepping into that role. Then there’s the role we know best, the
dating friend. This is the role we can very closely relate to. Why? Because we are choosing to date someone based on our lists, preference, and past relationships. The dating friend serves as a mirror for us. It shows us what areas we can work on as far as emotionally, mentally and financially. This friend acts as a reminder that we are still single and we shouldn’t be committing or being loyal to a partner that has not CLEARLY made intentions on being solely committed to you and only you! So often we find ourselves playing the committed role without even knowing it. Being faithful to words without actions and so freely giving our bodies away without having them prove to be worthy of that access. The dating friend also reminds us to be free and vulnerable and not afraid of vulnerability with the right person. However, even if the person isn’t the right person, vulnerability teaches us a valuable lesson, it teaches us how to open up as well. That opening up is a freeing experience that teaches us how to set boundaries and stick by those boundaries when we’re dating. Each friend serves a significant purpose in our life and give us important advice and lessons if we choose to be the student. Tiffany Nicole is a full time blogger and founder of The Diary of a Curvy Girl. She also owns a custom shoe business, Couture Creations and is the co-founder of the radio show, The Queen Code on 100.9 WXIR.
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{ CUSTOM BEAUTE }
AESTHETIC GYNECOLOGY BY CORTNEY KREUGER
VAGINAL MAKEOVERS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE Cosmetic gynecology—also referred to as aesthetic gynecology—is seeing increasing demand in the area of elective surgery. Many women struggle with vaginal issues that are considered “cosmetic” in nature, but that can oftentimes impact their lives in major ways. While women seek these services for a variety of reasons, and the treatments offered are varied, insurance companies fail to cover most of these services once they are viewed as cosmetic in nature, and thus unnecessary—or “elective”—regardless of the fact that they are having a major effect on their everyday health. At Custom Beaute, we have recently partnered with Aesthetic Gynecology physicians Dr. George Danakas and Dr. Armen Kirakosyan to bring services to our clients, who oftentimes did not even know these things were possible for them. Services such as ThermiVa, which is vaginal rejuvenation and tightening using radio frequency, and the O-Shot which can help them with issues such as bladder incontinence, lubrication— and heightening the big “O”—all while potentially avoiding higher cost surgical options. Though, at the end of the day, depending on individual needs, our doctors want only the best care for their clients, and consults for surgeries like labiaplasty, clitoral hood reduction, and perineoplasty amongst others are available as well. But exactly what are these treatments, and how they can help you is what is on the minds of many women who walk through our doors. 214
It is fair to say that no woman ENJOYS going to a gynecologist. Cold hands, cold instruments, your modesty jettisoned at the door, and the lovely talk about the weather to get you through even the most basic of exams. Some women tend to skip it all together until something looks or feels wrong to them—and even then a lot of us would rather check google first, or even drop our pants for our loyal best friend to see if something “looks right to
them.” Even speaking about these issues is hard for many as we are talking about the most intimate parts of our bodies, often in front of a stranger, however medically qualified they may be. Some women suffer for years before reaching out for help in these areas; living in pain from dryness or tightness, forcing themselves to rebuke their partner and then beating themselves up for it.
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Or, for the women who have delivered vaginally and never regained elasticity. Hysterectomies, weight loss, menopause… all of these things—and more—have effects that can cause women discomfort or even pain, and can leave them self-conscious about the very thing that we, as women, hated talking about when things were going “normally” in our nether regions. Further, we oftentimes feel that these are things that we are sort of, stuck with, or forced to suffer through and allowing it to affect our self-esteem, our relationships, and our health. These are the consequences of life, right? Aging, having babies, hormonal dysfunction, weight loss…these are all side effects of, well, being a woman! Fortunately for us, technology has offered us solutions to these unspoken situations that we often suffer with in silence: vaginal rejuvenation. Our board-certified gynecologists are now offering non-surgical vaginal rejuvenation options for women. Custom Beaute is proud to offer ThermiVa and the O-Shot, in addition to the surgical consults. More than 115,000 ThermiVa treatments have been performed worldwide, with clients raving about the results. ThermiVa is an energy based, radio frequency treatment for the vagina: “Collagen fibers when heated contract and…are thought to be the mechanism of action of the immediate tissue tightening… Researchers have also shown regression of stress urinary incontinence with tightening. In lay terms, the heat applied during the RF treatment stimulates your body to regenerate your own collagen and elastin, firming and tightening throughout the treatment. As well, the increased blood flow helps decrease vaginal dryness, resulting in increased sexual
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
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“Aging, having babies, hormonal dysfunction, weight loss…these are all side effects of, well, being a woman! Fortunately for us, technology has offered us solutions to these unspoken situations that we often suffer with in silence: vaginal rejuvenation.”
! s n
{ CUSTOM BEAUTE } “Many women struggle with vaginal issues that are considered “cosmetic” in nature, but that can oftentimes impact their lives in major ways.”
satisfaction. The best part is that there is no downtime, minimal side effects, and real time results that you can notice after one treatment. This treatment is also an exceptional alternative for those who are concerned with labial imbalances or loose skin after weight loss. The O-Shot, on the other hand, is meant for those suffering with urinary incontinence, low sexual desire, trouble reaching orgasm, painful sex, and Lichen Sclerosus. Also a nonsurgical treatment, the O-Shot consists of drawing the patient’s own blood and spinning it in a centrifuge to acquire the
platelet rich plasma, or PRP. The PRP is then injected into the area near the clitoris and upper vagina, and results in increased sensitivity, increased desire, tighter vaginal skin, relief of urinary incontinence, and better, healthier sex. These options can be life-changing for women. While there are going to be certain cases where surgery is necessary, our doctors are up front during their consults, telling you then and there what the best path for each individual client is. This is bigger than sex; this is giving women their
power back, their confidence back, their LIFE back. This means a path free of pain and of self-consciousness; regaining what was once theirs. It might be considered cosmetic because of the appearance change, but all women know that it is far bigger than that, and is something that is uniquely ours to make a decision on. Custom Beaute is ready to help you. Call for your consult today.
{ TRACY TALKS }
HAVING CLEAR VISION IN 2020 BY TRACY SIMONE
So, it just happened again. Another year has somehow passed, and we have no idea where the time went. This is when people look back and see where they are, compare it to where they thought they might be, and then make plans for better health and finances. This time, it is not only the start of a new year, but also a new decade. Let’s decide to raise the bar on ourselves and have our best lives this year across all fronts. It’s not about making resolutions, but better choices. Let’s make it about each of us having true health and wellness.
heave ho. Check out a local farmer’s market. Cook more at home from scratch. Get a good cookbook if you need to and start rattling those pots and pans. If you aren’t a fruit and veggies person, throw them in a blender and enjoy a smoothie…. either way, get them in!
Welcome to the year 2020. Let’s take it literally and make it the year for clear vision. Let’s make this be the year when we stop settling for less. Let’s see things for what they are and have 20/20 vision. First things first….we need to tackle our physical health. Nothing matters if we don’t feel well. We all know what we should be doing, but this time, make sure to do it. Go ahead and work more fruits and veggies onto your plate. We said we are stepping up our game this year, right? So, let’s make sure those foods are organic. We will never know if all the labeling is correct and true, but we do know that what we have been eating up until now is not good for us. We have things in our environment that are clearly making us sick. So, when we get a chance, let’s swap out junk and fast food for the good stuff and also give the GMOs the 222
We already know that there are people and corporations just looking to make money, mass produce food, and maybe even kill off a few of us along the way by putting artificial chemicals in what we eat and drink. We know also that consuming them causes a lot of health care costs on the back end. So, take
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control this year, eat better, and reduce the future medical bills. Since we are using our 20/20 vision, let’s look for our sneakers. We need to get out into nature. Yes, it’s nice to have internet access, microwave ovens and cell phones, but understand that we are actually meant to be in our natural environment and that is when we are our healthiest. All those screens and cell towers that are everywhere are messing us up. Go for walks OUTSIDE and leave the electronics off from time to time. We can do this. (By the way, you get undivided attention from children if you turn off the wifi). Next, let’s focus on our finances. Sure, it’s great to improve our physical health, but we will also feel better if we can put away a few bucks here and there. Do we really need all those shoes, bags, and meals out or that daily cup of coffee from the coffee shop on the way to work? What if we bring our lunch to work or school once in a while and pocket the money? Put some away for a rainy day….it always rains when we least expect it, right? So, let’s be better prepared for that future car repair, unexpected illness, or tax bill that was a little too high this time. With each paycheck, consider directing some into a health savings account. Then, when you or someone in your family needs new glasses, braces, or a trip to the emergency room that isn’t
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{ TRACY TALKS } “This time, it is not only the start of a new year, but also a new decade. Let’s decide to raise the bar on ourselves and have our best lives this year across all fronts.”
fully covered by your insurance, you will already have some money put aside. Same thing for college. When we have our little bundles of joy, we also have a good 17 to 18 years to save some dinero towards school….or to help them get started in their young adult lives….. but, only if we think ahead and save as they grow up. 224
Social Security is a nice start, but make sure that you are saving too during your career because time really does fly and hopefully, you will get to retire comfortably. A 401(k) with a company match is always nice for those who can have them, but anyone can open an IRA (individual retirement account). Do not depend on someone else to handle
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your finances. Each of us should learn about money and how to manage it. Let’s keep our vision and goals sharp throughout 2020 and beyond. Happy New Year!
{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
RILEY JOY CANDLES BY SARA BRANDEL I PHOTOS BY KELLI HISER
As some of you may know, we were expected to have a healthy baby girl, Riley Joy (RJ), in October 2018. Unfortunate events took over the later part of our pregnancy and we lost her in July, after our life already expected her to be in it. Our almost-3-year-old at that time was ready for a little sister and my husband and I were ready for two healthy, beautiful children to care and love for. Nature took it’s course and took her too early from us, after months of fear towards the end. Decisions that we were afraid we were going to have to make, wrong decisions that may have ended in tragedy. Fear. Pain. We know she went to a better place and she was a strong-willed child.. taking the dreaded decision out of her mommy and daddy’s hands, and making the decision on her own. With that, we fully support her. She is still a part of our hearts and our minds on a daily basis. The wonder of “what she would be like”, the “relationship her and her big brother would have”. There are smells, sounds and even sights that bring tears to my eyes coming to the understanding that she is not with us. But with that, I have come to feel pleasure in candle-making. I am able to bring her name to light, have her thought around me, while smelling a beautiful scent that brings me to a happy place. I have decided to share this passion with 226
people around me, friends, co-workers, family, because, not only do I love this hobby, but she is the reason I started this small business, and a way to have her name known around the world. She was a part of our small world, our family, but as a mother, I feel as if she can be so much more, bringing peace and beauty to other’s homes, in the way of scent.
happy with your products, I am here to make it right.
One needs to realize that when a loved one leaves us, whether a beautiful relationship
hether it is a baby shower, wedding W shower or wedding event itself, I love to be a part of every single one.
Contact me if you need help being guided in the right direction. For larger orders, I can work with you one on one to make whatever day you may be coming upon even more special for you and your guests!
Riley Joy Candle Company started in January 2019, as the owner hoped to make natural, US-made and toxicfree candles for her little family.
has existed or the wonder of what type of relationship would have existed, they are still around us. Scents remind us of good times, and this has brought me to a happy place for my Riley Joy. I love you, my rosebud angel. MY GUARANTEE I guarantee I have a scent that would be loved by everyone. I also guarantee that if you are not
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Some of the bigger companies were starting to make candles that did not scent up her house as they used to, along with putting off too much soot, making it seem as if their products were starting to become less healthy. Sara, the owner, thereafter started trying different scents throughout the year, creating 4 baseline scents, each one creating a different atmosphere when it is lit. Each candle gives over 55 hours of burn time, is made small-batch, by Sara only, and in her basement with non-toxic materials. Located right in Greece, NY, RJCCo is happy to announce it’s appearance, and will be creating a Spa and Man line in 2020.
{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “Scents remind us of good times, and this has brought me to a happy place for my Riley Joy. I love you, my rosebud angel.”
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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “Stay tuned and stop back frequently as there will be specialty candles on top of my baseline scents that come out randomly.”
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1000 HYLAN DR SUITE C-4, PHONE: (585)
, ROCHESTER, NY 14623 ) 427-8818
{{ SHIFT+CONTROL KARMA SPEAKS }}
#GIRLBOSS BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I never want to stop searching. I’ve recently been labeled a GirlBoss. So, what’s that even mean? How does one go from working for the man, to opening not one, but two different businesses in one year? They call it hustling. The hustle or the grind as I hear it referred to. But in reality, it is something I would just think of as getting by. Seven months ago I went into a partnership with my brother and we opened up Rochester’s newest food truck, specializing in Rochester authentic eats. Now, if your from Rochester, you know exactly what this means. The Plate, a Meat hot sauce, zweigles brand hot dogs. My brother and I decided that because we Rochestarians are especially proud of these foods, and they are specific to the area, why not open a truck that offers just this . A fresh product each day. We even hand pack our burgers. People want fresh local products and that’s what we deliver. But don’t be fooled that if you make it they will come, as serving up locals is also more than just the food, It’s about the atmosphere. We want our truck to be recognized and a familiar staple when people think of Rochester, and so one of the most important parts of opening a food truck is the people. We want our customers to feel welcome and part of the family that is our community. There may be a time when you come to the food truck for a burger and leave knowing a little bit more about the brother sister duo that is Karma’s Cruisin Cafe. If there is a link that bonds a customer with one of us, I’m going to try to make that connection. If we can remember what you ate the last time we 232
saw you, we will. I’ll probably talk your ear off when its slow, and hopefully you will leave talking about not only the delicious food you ate, but the friendly service you had as well. The hopes is that you recommend our food truck to your family. You will rave to friends from out of town, that if they are visiting, they MUST make a trip to get a plate from Karma. My new best friend is social media, as my oldest son made sure I know how important it is to utilize this. To
Life took another turn three months ago, and some would have been discouraged. Yet I have been self taught that in order to rise above you must seek out the purpose of what is being laid before you. My domestic partner in crime lost his job, and in doing so, my household income dove into the negative status. I’m a new business owner, I put all my eggs in the food truck basket and served them up on bagels. That nest egg was gone with the risk when I decided I didn’t want to work for the man ever again. So, we decided that yet again, life was poking at us with a stick, luring us. Because in the comfort zone of job security where nineteen years of loyalty meant nothing, do you really go back and start at ground zero? Work for the man who cares nothing of the loyalty and hard work ethics you pride yourself on? This was my question, all the while pointing out the funny fact that there’s money to be made in these new found Dog Daycares.
connect and draw attention to the details we want our customers to be aware of. And for seven months I have hit the streets with my older brother, he the culinary genius and me the face or voice that makes the connection. The food truck may run for a two hour service to a few more than that, learning how to stock the small amount of space to accommodate has been a learning curve. The ins and outs of the food truck industry is a challenge, yet I didn’t stop there. I guess it just wasn’t enough.
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My life partner scoffed every time I would point one out and jokingly say we should open a doggie daycare. That is until he had no job did he feel my nudge to become a self employed business owner. To become The Man, and not work for one. We researched and visited Dog daycares in the area as well as online. You can visit anything online. Social media, like i stated..my new best friend. Even then, it wasn’t set in stone, there was uncertainty, there always is. What if it doesn’t work out? Do real people actually send their dogs to daycare? How will we survive? These questions and a gazillion more were asked and to which I always had
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KARMA SPEAKS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL “ What do you want to be when you grow up? Me, I guess I always knew… I’d be a girlboss.”
an answer. Hard work wins, yes people are sending their dogs to daycare, and surviving is what we do, regardless. I didn’t want to tell him that we had to take this opportunity now, as it wasn’t my decision to make, my job was the food truck. But I couldn’t deny that all the signals were flashing this way. It wasn’t for me to decide and he isn’t the risk taking type. I almost gave up serving this idea up on a platter and just about decided to let him find another 9-5 job. That is until he walked in from the garage Looked at me and said let’s do it! What had changed, how did the gears suddenly go from neutral to overdrive?how did my idea suddenly take life? Apparently a real life friend was hanging up from a conversation on the phone, but not before he stated “I have to go pick up my dog, from daycare.” did the actual realization that everyday people are paying good money to entertain their hounds. So, there it was, and with that we had to begin the search for where, how and when. Another piece to this puzzle is the fact that not only was it doggie daycare or dogcare as I like to call it, but onsite grooming as well that we noticed with every dog daycare we came across. We planned to outsource a space within the space to a groomer. A great way to offset some of the cost of a lease. Yet, when researching the prices the groomers make, and the demand we saw them in, again my inner child screamed out asking me what I want to be when I grow up. Why give someone else the opportunity sitting right in front of me, that is there if only I am willing to work for it. I’m not afraid of working hard for what I have, its all I know. And so I smiled, and I looked at Brian, and exclaimed, I’ll be the groomer. He did not question me, or point out that I have no credentials, not once did he hesitate in the acknowledgment that not only would I own and operate the 234
food truck, be his right hand man with Brian’s Doghouse, but I would also get the training and experience necessary and open up Dunk N’ Dogs by Karma. A full service dog grooming business inside the dogcare facility. You see Brian was our right hand man when we were opening up the food truck, he worked long hours outside of his normal 40 plus hour work week to make sure the food truck was going to have what it takes. Sure my brother and I are partners and run the truck on the daily, but Brian is the man behind the maintenance. The hustle would stop if one of the intricate pieces or persons were not tied in. which is true I think in any business. You rely on certain individuals to play their part. The cheering section, the self instilled work habits, the face. You have the brainstorming, the late nights and early mornings. The mistakes and aches and pains. I may be a girlboss but it isn’t just about me. I may be hustling, but I’m hustlin in a pack, and I hear the cheering squad loud and clear. It takes a lot to become a business owner, and it isn’t just the money. I think the money may have been the easiest part, so to speak. I’m halfway through the dog grooming courses with a 97 average. I’m running the new food truck with my brother, opening the dogcare with Brian and about to start a grooming business. Am I really a girlboss, or am I still on a quest to find what I want to be when I grow up? Not that it matters, as the path was not carved out for me at 17 when first asked that age old question. I had no clue, as I had little to no life experience just people hounding me to choose my own lifelong destiny now. I was never content working for the man, yet no one told me when I was young to be my own boss, it came naturally, after years of trial and error. I never was good
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at conforming, and so I was always hot on the trail of being self made. Even as a mom, I had to run a daycare. Even after falling out of college, I had to go back. I wish there was a course in highschool that embraced the fact that not all kids fall into the choose your destiny, choose your college now, mold. I learned life skills, and who I am, not in college but by hard work and failures that turned into epic life changing events. I didn’t follow the textbook version of how to be self employed, I was just always employed. Most times for myself. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, and isn’t that the point? As long as you have work ethics, are self motivated and are trying to make yourself into a respected courteous individual who people are proud of, your path is paved. Smile at yourself, smile at other people, and if life hands you an opportunity, take it. Starting a business is hard, that’s for sure, but not as hard as waking up and having to spend the day making money for someone who works the soul right out of you. They don’t teach you that in highschool either. My advice, go find yourself. Learn to pay bills, and write checks and how to take no as an answer. Work for the man to learn how not to be as a boss, or find one who you can emulate. Leaders aren’t taught, they are born. Take what you need from life, and throw the negative experiences in a bin where you can revisit and remember them, but never repeat. What do you want to be when you grow up? Me, I guess I always knew… I’d be a girlboss.
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{ SHE ROCS }
AT S.H.E. SALON BY KAITLYN FRANCISCO I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS
At SHE Salon we are witnessing a phenomenon. We are power playing females who have cracked the magical code. We think positively, we support one another, we truly believe we have it all- and so can you! There is something dynamic that happens when when women genuinely show up for each other. When we lose the facades, cut the b.s. and really have each other’s backs. When we show both the messy and the beautiful parts of ourselves and our work, that all look awfully similar. When we discuss our fears, our missteps, and our breakdowns. And most importantly, when we share our celebrations, our breakthroughs, and dish out on what works! We have to come together in the support, love and guidance needed to run our lives and businesses in a way that feels authentic, confident and inspiring. We ALL crave a network of other women who are chasing their dreams, building their lives and facing the world with our hater blockers on and our heels planted firmly into the ground. We could do it alone, but how much more fun and more 236
successful to do it as a team!! Sadly, it’s hard to find this ! It’s no secret that women get a bad rap for being jealous and catty. We have all partaken in it at some point in our lives. Wether we gossiped about another women, or we were the one gossiped about. And guess what? It’s miserable both ways. If there
is anything that has been learned through growing SHE.. it’s that LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE IS BEAUTIFUL! This is exactly what we are trying to create together, a movement, if you would. Our salon, which we prefer to refer to as our home, is an outlet where we share our own personal life transformations. It’s a form of
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therapy. We share our stories with our guests and each other and try to teach a lesson or learn something from every single experience. This connection is something that is truly remarkable. Especially when you share any pain you have experienced in your life you see there’s a whole other level to connect on. We need each other ! Within our team (technicians and guests) we hear each other. If someone has a question, we answer as best we can. If someone needs an ear, we listen. If someone wants to celebrate her success, we raise our champagne glass and toast her. Truth be told, what goes on in our salon feels like so much more than just a job. It feels like it’s our life’s mission and purpose. The goal behind SHE (Strength, Hope, Empowerment) is to help thousands of women shift their mindsets into a happier, more positive space and ultimately transform their lives and careers for the better. What we have become the most passionate about is working with entrepreneuHERs.
{ SHE ROCS } “Let’s eradicate jealousy, and ultimately learn the power of connection. Let’s start building each other up. Let’s start living up to our potential and ruling the world!”
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{ SHE ROCS } “The goal behind SHE (Strength, Hope, Empowerment) is to help thousands of women shift their mindsets into a happier, more positive space and ultimately transform their lives and careers for the better.”
We know what it’s like to blaze our own trail and pursue our passions. We know what it’s like to be questioned about why you would take such a “risky” path. We know what it’s like to not have a road map to success. And we know what it’s like to find those people who DO get it. The people willing to share the secrets, open a door for you, or sometimes just have a glass of wine- or three - with you, and just listen. And BAM! That’s our team! Connecting on real, raw levels. Forming honest friendships and support systems. We s e e h o w magical it is to connect with one another and THAT is what brings the passion to the work that we do every single day. We are blessed. We are currently trying to brand ourselves through this mission of self growth and self development . We want to create an entire brand all about empowering other women! 240
As we grow we hope to only develop more leaders. To come together and find what’s possible when we face our fears, believe in ourselves, and make female empowerment a part of
our success story. There is no reason to hoard information, connections or insight.
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Wisdom is meant to be shared, so let’s start sharing what we have learned and make each other better! Lets build confidence in ourselves and each other. Let’s connect with our “why”. Let’s eradicate jealousy, and ultimately learn the power of connection. Let’s start building each other up. Let’s start living up to our potential and ruling the world! TOGETHER we can crack the girl code. Because at the end of the day, that’s what life and business is all about. So sit back, pour yourself a glass of champagne, and join us. At SHE, you can sit with us. And to all of our other lashistas out there.. the secret is out! THERES ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US .
need a filter!
At SHE, we’re not chasing money. We’re chasing happiness. Reminding ourselves everyday that our hearts are our prettiest feature we have and they will never ever
{ KARMA SPEAKS }
WHAT TO EXPECT: THE TEENAGE YEARS BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD
I remember reading what to expect when you’re expecting, learning about the newborn. Then there were all the toddlers how to books, and how to be ready to send them off to school. Being engulfed by that big yellow monster, waving as they seek your face before they are gone around the corner. All set with new fast sneakers, a name tag with their address so they don’t get lost, and a fresh haircut. Ready to meet a new best friend. I’ve never come across the rules or expectations or what to expect when you have teenagers book. I mean maybe it’s out there, but I haven’t seen it. I’m consumed in the needs of rides here, can you bring this item I left home to schools there, and the last minute trips on a drop of a dime’s notice to save a teenager from a disaster. Life with teenagers is like living in the eye of a storm. It’s much like clapping with one hand sometimes, because even though your excited and celebrating, the teenager has already left the building. Mood swings are the norm. A teenage girl can go from laughing to crying in .05 seconds, and be in full on rage. Rage that we have no clue where it emerged from, maybe the dog chewed her favorite shorts, or the ice tea is empty. It doesn’t matter how insignificant the actual situation is, watch out because if you laugh and shrug it off you are now the mortal enemy of life. A day jam packed at school warrants a discussion with you at home that may last all of six seconds. Letting you know that nothing happened and they have no homework. From this description it’s like your teenager goes to school and is in the 244
vast wastelands of nothingness. Even if you know a three ring circus showed up at school, your still going to hear that nothing happened. There will be dinners you make for no one, because they already ate or don’t have time. They will ask you what’s for dinner at 10PM when they make it home safe from work, or dance, or a friends house. The dishes will be cleaned, dinner all tucked away safe in Tupperware containers, yet you get up to make sure your child doesn’t go to bed hungry. You try your best to create a dialogue to squeeze in some quality time.
All the while they ask you if that’s all you have for them to eat, hours after dinner was served. Then saunter upstairs, away from you and you attempt to feel needed. There will be enough recycable empties collected in their bedroom as if they have created a one man donation center for the less fortunate. Only they have no intent of ever picking them up to return them. Not even admitting they exist. Or they aren’t theirs, yet the friends who spent the night days ago. You will wait, a lot. You may find you have the patience of a saint or you may pass the
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point of insanity because of the amount of time you spend waiting. Waiting for an answer, waiting in a car for the emergence of the face that belongs to the teenager who needs you to take them home. Waiting as they take a test, and pass. You will wait for your child and you can learn to meditate, you may educate yourself with literature, or you might even talk to the voices inside your head, but you will wait. This isn’t something that’s appreciated, it’s an expectation of the years you spent keeping them from dangers. You kept them alive all these years, and so now it is your duty to wait. And so we do, and we sit and wait and greet our teenager with a smile and how was your day? The response is the usual grunts and mutterings of the starved overworked exhausted teenager. Who did nothing all day. There will be missing items, that you know you left in specific places. They are gone now to the Abyss of a teenager who’s needs outweigh yours for the item, and so it is now somewhere in the place the teenager dwells. Hidden beneath clean clothes, dirty clothes, a best friends clothes who spent the night weeks ago. It’s there somewhere, yet now you must go purchase a new one for the teenager can’t recall even taking it. Not until you arrive home. New item in hand, do they all of a sudden remember where the original one is. And so they may as well keep it, as mom doesn’t need two of them. Items of necessity are no longer sacred yet up for grabs in the ever stressful needs of the teenager. Also, understand that any plans you make can and will be destroyed. Plan on your plans taking a backseat because teenagers need to be at the opening showtime of the newest movie, or mom you knew we planned this trip to the mall weeks ago.
{ KARMA SPEAKS }
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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL KARMA SPEAKS }} “ Setting good examples, leading them down a path we want them on. We’re in control. And then one day, we are not…”
But they really didn’t, they sat up way past the time they told you they went to bed, scheming the plan of who’s mom would be the target tomorrow to convince if they aren’t at the precise place at that precise time the world may actually end. And so, plans as an adult in society with friends turn into you looking like an anti social disaster who has no clue how to manage time. But you do, you just live with teenagers. You really do know how to brush your hair and put together an Unwrinkled matching outfit, you just didn’t know that while you were enjoying the morning coffee, you have less than ten seconds to get out the door and get a teenager to that place they had to be at five minutes ago. They wait to tell you, because they want to make sure you can survive in crisis mode. You will find clothes with tags in them a year later that never got worn, now in the donation pile. You will hear talk of all the mistakes you made as a parent that makes you feel defeated and question your whole existence in raising them. Wondering if the teenager even has one happy positive memory of you in their early childhood. Because when they get together and reminisce, you sound like a half wit ogre and surprised they didn’t die. From starvation, or embarrassment or from that 246
hearty strict talking to you insisted would instill morals and values. Their version makes you question why you just didn’t give in and be their friend instead. Then there’s the doors left open, the lights that are left on and the empty boxes of cereal put away. You won’t ever get anything other than stale bread again, or a half a sip of milk. Don’t expect a sink full of dishes to
be magically cleaned after you worked all day, because teenagers are exhausted after the vast wasteland of nothing happening at school all day. Pretty much life with a teenager is filled with waiting. Waiting for nothing that has happened and no one to eat a meal with. And then those years you think are so horrible and haphazard turn into goodbyes, good luck and come home to visit me when you can. My version of
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What to expect when raising teenagers would go like this. Expect to cry Expect wait. Expect to feel like you did it all wrong, and question every decision you made for your child when they were little. Expect your child’s favorite food one day to be hated the next and to be questioned as to when did they even like it ? Expect to turn on an item and think it’s broken, to find the plug was taken for a teenagers phone to charge. Expect talking.. to yourself. Expect all of this. And embrace it. A teenager is not a child to be dictated or taught the rules anymore. We did that, oh how we did that. Day and night, reading how tos and don’ts. Reading to them, for them and about them. Setting good examples, leading them down a path we want them on. We’re in control. And then one day, we are not… Oh, and one last thing to expect when raising teenagers. Expect that one day your sitting there and the teenager is gone. One day your the first person they call to tell the news to. Your the example they use when talking about courage and strength. You get hugs, and laughter and conversations that are filled with things your child is doing. Expect that too. But for now you have to wait. But it’s ok, because your good at that.
{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
A COUPLE’S JOURNEY OF LOVE AND ALZHEIMER’S BY OLGA MONACELL
FROM THE KENYAN HIGHLANDS TO THE ANDES MOUNTAINS TO THE FINGER LAKES
Bob and Lisa Grabman moved to Geneva, New York, from Washington, DC in 2017—more than 30 years after Bob left his hometown to go to college. I visited them recently at their beautiful house with a gorgeous view of Seneca Lake. Following his graduation from Notre Dame in 1981, Bob joined the Peace Corps in Kenya. Around the same time, Lisa was volunteering with the Peace Corps in Zaire. The two briefly met at the end of their respective assignments in Africa around 1984. Although Bob and Lisa didn’t keep in touch following their brief encounter, they were destined to meet again. A few months later, their paths crossed on the campus of Ohio University. Having completed their graduate studies at Ohio University, Bob and Lisa got married and embarked on another overseas trip. This time, they both interned at the U.S. Department of State in Kenya and then stayed in Africa as Peace Corps volunteer trainers. Bob and Lisa spent the following 30 years building successful careers in international development and raising two children, Jesse and Sarah. The Grabmans lived and worked in Bolivia, Costa Rica, and Washington, DC and traveled to work in other countries as well. In 2014, Bob was working at Catholic Relief Services in Baltimore, Maryland, when he began experiencing memory issues. “Every afternoon, after lunch, I would feel tired and 248
confused. I would write a to-do list for the next day. In the morning of the next day, I would write another to-do list. I would have two identical to-do lists but could not remember writing either of them. I knew what I needed to accomplish at my job, but didn’t know how to start a task or get it done,” said Bob. He shared his worries with Lisa. At the time, Lisa was caring for her mother who lived with Alzheimer’s disease. At first, Lisa attributed Bob’s memory issues to
exhaustion. One day, Bob drove Lisa and her mother to a doctor’s appointment in Washington, DC. He dropped them off at the entrance and then parked the car on the street. After the appointment, Lisa and her mother were waiting at the same entrance while Bob was getting the car. “He didn’t return for about an hour,” recalled Lisa. When he came back, Bob told Lisa he couldn’t find the car. Lisa hailed a cab and the three of them drove through the neighborhood until they found Bob’s car. “After this incident, I grew concerned about
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Bob’s memory. He couldn’t remember where the car was parked and he couldn’t retrace his steps,” said Lisa. What was happening to Bob resembled her mother’s condition. However, Bob was much younger. It was hard to imagine that he would get the same diagnosis as his mother-in-law. In 2015, Bob was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer’s. He could no longer perform his work duties and resigned from his position. His colleagues were supportive and understanding. Bob was able to get Social Security Disability Insurance based on his diagnosis. In 2017, Lisa’s mother passed away at the age of 82. Meanwhile, Bob’s disease was progressing and the couple decided to move out of the Washington, DC metropolitan area. Since settling in Geneva, the Grabmans have made new friends. They entertain guests in their house, go to concerts, explore the Finger Lakes region and volunteer with community groups. Lisa works remotely, as an organizational development consultant. As Bob no longer drives, he likes to walk in the downtown area and along the lake. “Bob has been very open with our friends and family about his diagnosis from the very beginning. My mom wasn’t. She didn’t want people to know and it was a real issue for a while. Bob and I want to help people realize that it is okay to talk about Alzheimer’s with us,” said Lisa. Bob keeps in touch with friends from around the globe and documents his disease progression in a blog. Last fall, he appealed to his friends, “It feels like my memories are fading away at an accelerating pace. I’m losing the story of my life. I really have had a wonderful life…I just wish I could
{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } “Alzheimer’s dementia is not just a disease of old age. Younger-onset Alzheimer’s affects people in their 40s and 50s who are often at the height of their careers and caregivers themselves.”
remember it. Please help me remember.” Several friends and colleagues responded, sharing their memories. “Working with you at Save the Children was a real privilege for me. You and Lisa brought the greatest number of skills to the organization. I think the period when you were in Bolivia was what I would refer to as the Golden Era of the Bolivia Office,” wrote someone from the Bay Area. “I would love to share some of my dearest memories of working together for Save the Children! We worked in Addis Ababa on the Horn of Africa Crisis. Amidst the chaos, the long working hours, and all the internal politics, you were the one person who always had the time for a joke and always kept your calm. Everybody 250
loved working for you,” wrote someone from Norway. The couple is connected to the Rochester and Finger Lakes Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, participating in its education and social engagement programs. Bob shared, “Recently, Lisa said, ‘I think that I’ll go to the support group.’ I said, ‘That’s nice of you, who are you supporting?’ Lisa answered, ‘You. I’m supporting you, it’s the Alzheimer’s support group.’ Oh yeah, I forgot,’ I said.” Lisa added that she enjoys the support group where she meets other spouses and adult children who care for their loved ones.
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Alzheimer’s dementia is not just a disease of old age. Younger-onset Alzheimer’s affects people in their 40s and 50s who are often at the height of their careers and caregivers themselves. It is estimated that approximately 200,000 people live with younger-onset Alzheimer’s in the United States. If your loved one has symptoms of dementia, call the Alzheimer’s Association helpline 1.800.272.3900 or visit alz.org.
{ THRIVING THERAPY }
HELPING YOU ACHIEVE YOUR BEST SELF BY JENNIFER FRARY
Mental health care is healthcare. Seeing a therapist is part of an overall healthy lifestyle. • Jennifer utilizes her training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and EMDR to meet each client’s individual needs.
• Problems caused by your loved one’s substance use disorder: sleep disturbance, worry, anger, fear, physical ailments from stress, strained relationships, lost work productivity, and on and on.
Thriving Therapy, PLLC is accepting new clients; appointments available within two weeks. Jennifer is seeing clients age 7 and older, couples, and families.
• Part of managing mental health symptoms is taking care of your whole body. Jennifer is a Certified Mental Health Integrated Medicine Provider. In the scope of her practice that means that she can work with you to make nutritional and supplemental changes that support mental health. If alcohol or drug use is causing difficulty in your life, or if you love someone who’s use is worrying you, let Jennifer help! • Problems caused by substance use disorder: guilt, shame, strained relationships, lost jobs, criminal justice involvement, eviction, depression, anxiety, and on and on.
can be uncomfortable, scary, and sometimes a windy journey. However, change can also be growth, empowerment, and healing. Participating in therapy is one way of seeking the necessary changes to feel at peace with your life. No matter your age, change is possible and you deserve it.
Schedule directly f r o m w w w. thrivingtherapy.com or contact Jennifer at (585) 371-8355
Family and couples therapy often means looking at issues around boundaries, patterns of communication, the ‘roles’ people have and family rules. Families and couples often find the work to be challenging - but also rewarding and even, at times, fun! Are you ready to change? Change
Follow Thriving Therapy, PLLC on facebook @ thrivingtherapy, and on Instagram @ thrivingtherapypllc. Or email her at or jenniferfrarytherapy@outlook.com.
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{ ASK THE DOCTOR }
FIBROMYALGIA BY DR. LARRY PESHKIN
Fibromyalgia, although often misdiagnosed and misunderstood, is the second most common musculoskeletal disorder behind osteoarthritis. The condition affects nearly 12 million Americans and is ten times more common in women. The diagnosis of fibromyalgia is made when a certain set of symptoms has been present for at least three months. The most common symptoms include wide-spread muscle and joint pain, achiness or sorenessespecially in the neck, shoulders, back, and hips. Your muscles may constantly feel overworked and tired. Some patients have trouble sleeping and feel as though they are in a “brain fog” most of the day. This can lead to fatigue or mood changes, like anxiety and depression. St re s s i s a k n ow n contributor to fibromyalgia, and patients should seek ways to de-stress, including yoga or meditation. Fibromyalgia patients should minimize their caffeine intake, as this is a known stimulant for nervousness, anxiety, and insomnia. Breathing exercises are sometimes helpful. Although your sleep may be restless, you should try to establish a bedtime routine that gives your body the best chance for recovery. Try to avoid late night electronics, like the television or computer. Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, cool, and distraction-free. Be sure to take time for yourself each day for relaxation or to do something you enjoy. Combat “brain fog” by carrying a notebook or a phone to make notes for important things. Some patients report decreased muscle tightness by applying moist heat or a taking warm bath. The American
Pain Society recommends conservative treatment, including chiropractic, along with moderate aerobic exercise. In our office, we treat fibromyalgia with spinal manipulation, deep tissue massage, nutritional counseling and educate patients on therapeutic exercise. At the initial visit, an examination is performed to assess the patient’s joints, muscles and nervous system. Often, even when just performing normal, daily activities, joints can become “stuck” and stop moving properly. This places extra strain on the surrounding muscles and they can become fatigued and painful. Treating
the joints and muscles of a patient with fibromyalgia often significantly reduces pain. In addition to treatment in performed in our office, there are other things people with fibromyalgia can do to help manage their symptoms. Water exercise is one form of exercise that has been shown to be helpful for those suffering with fibromyalgia. “Water aerobics” simply means that you are exercising in the pool. Water exercise adds resistance but reduces the effect of gravity, and is usually less stressful on your joints. Water Aerobics are better tolerated
by people who have joint problems like arthritis. You do not need to be a swimmer to exercise in the water - most classes are held in chest-deep pools. Meditation is also known to be helpful for treating and managing fibromyalgia. Meditation promotes physical relaxation and calmness while enhancing your overall health and well-being. Meditation helps you slow down in a busy world and find joy in the simple pleasures of your world. Meditation is an excellent way to start your day with a clear and emotionally calm state. Although there are many types of meditation techniques, most share three common elements: a quiet location without distraction, a comfortable position, and focusing your attention on a particular thought or activity, like breathing. Ta i C h i a n d Q i Gong are exercises that combine slow, deliberate movements with meditation and breathing exercises that can be helpful in managing fibromyalgia. The techniques are sometimes described as “meditation in motion.” Tai Chi and Qi Gong aim to capitalize on the benefits of meditation and breathing while improving flexibility, balance, and strength. Some styles of Tai Chi and Qi Gong incorporate “pushing hands” movements, which when practiced quickly, can be a form of combat or selfdefense. Tai Chi and Qi Gong sessions are typically led by an instructor, who will guide you through various postures and gentle movements while focusing on breathing and relaxing.
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GENTLE & HEALING CHIROPRACTIC CARE
Achieve the healthy, active life that you have been missing
2164 HUDSON AVE., ROCHESTER, NY 14617 585-467-7070 I WWW.IRONDEQUOITCHIROPRACTIC.COM
{ REAL ESTATE WITH BRANDI }
REAL ESTATE WITH BRANDI BY BRANDI VULLO
Hi everyone, my name is Brandi Vullo!! I’m so excited and honored to be able to tell you a little about myself and my business. I was born in Rochester NY and grew up in Greece and have lived in Irondequoit for about the last 17 years with my wonderful family, I’m a mother to 3 amazing kids, well, they aren’t babies anymore they are 21, 19 and 17!
way and it is still so rewarding. I love working with my clients from our first meeting all the way to the exciting closing day. I believe in building a really strong relationship with all my clients. They can come to me anytime for anything and I will do my very
I will be married for 25 years in June and over those years we have made more than several moves, we were becoming very experienced in finding and purchasing homes. It was on our last home purchase that I really considered becoming a Realtor. Now I have been a Realtor for 4 1/2 years and it was the best career move for me at this time in my life. I’m a Real Estate Agent with one of the best companies in Rochester NY, Howard Hanna in the Irondequoit Office. Before I was a Realtor I worked as a Home Health aide for 15 years. I took care Alzheimer’s patients and hospice cases. I really enjoy taking care of people. Being a Realtor I still get to take care of my clients in a different 258
1. Meet with a few different agents before choosing, it’s so important to feel comfortable with the one you choose. 2. Get ready for Home Ownership! -Build a good credit history. -Find out which type of mortgage you qualify for. - Save money for a down payment. -Consider closing costs which include taxes, attorney fees, and transfer fees. - Consider utilities and monthly bills, such as home owners assessments. 3. Did you know when buying a house, you as the buyer don’t pay your agent a fee? The fee is paid by the selling agent from the listing side on the house you are buying. 4. Get pre-qualified- it’s so important to know what you really can afford and having that in place when you start looking makes you a more stong buyer.
best to help. I’m personal, funny, knowledgeable, positive, understanding and will get the job done! Real Estate can be a stressful process but, when you work with me, I try to make it as stress free as possible. Here are a few tips for women or anyone who is buying or selling a home:
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5. Buying and or selling a house is a team effort, you are not only working with your Agent, you also work closely with a Real Estate Attorney, Mortgage Loan Officer, Home Insurance person, Home Inspection person, Title company ...etc. 6. Finding the right PropertyDetermine what’s important to you, such as schools, neighborhood
{ GIVING BACK }
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amenities, utilities, and taxes when calculating the monthly mortgage payment. 7. When making an Offer on a houseMake sure you have the home inspected by a licensed home inspector. Read all contracts before signing, make sure you understand all of the terms, ASK questions. Keep your credit score stabled and in-check by waiting to purchase and big- ticket items until long after closing. 8. There are many different types of Mortgages. FHA, Conventional, USDA, VA ..Ask questions like how 260
much do I really need to put down for a Mortgage that all depends on the type of mortgage you would qualify for. People think you always need 20% down (that’s not always the case there are many options). 9. There are also Grants out there that people don’t know about! Ask your Realtor and Mortgage loan Officer if you could qualify (you might be able to save a few bucks!).. I hope some of these tips came in handy for you. I love Real Estate! It all comes down to finding that right agent who has your best interest at heart. Ask questions and make sure your
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Realtor is helping you in the buying and selling process. Please feel free and contact me anytime if you are thinking about selling or buying a home or if you just have questions. I would love to sit down with you and go over your Real Estate needs to earn your business and I’m never too busy for your referrals! You should ‘love where you live.” Thank you for reading about me, Brandi Vullo Real Estate Agent Howard Hanna 425 Titus Ave Rochester, NY 14617 585-694-0293
{ THE PAIN RN }
MEREDITH WILKINS DAWES Good Morning my name is Meredith Dawes, I am an Rn who has a special relationship with Cannabis.
I could see if the pharamaceutical meds were having an impact on my internal organs.
Eight years ago one second changed my life and a diagnosis that I thought was ending my life. I was diagnosed with Rsd after an accident. I cannot put into words how profoundly this disease affected my life. I was a compliant patient and kept all appointments, went to a specialist and was willing to try anything.
After 6 years of pharmaceutical it was catching up to my liver and kidneys. At that moment I decided to research and try new therapies. It took some time and patience. But I was able to titerate my meds substituting CBD and Cannabis in their place.
Because the worst part about this disease is there is no cure. At the end of it all, I felt like a shadow of the person I was, and the laundry list of medications was the best care I could receive. Being an Rn I went to the doctors every 3 months asked them to draw a panel of labs before my visit, so
I still live in pain but now I have the tools to manage my symptoms effectively without the harmful side effects of the pharmaceuticals and now I am in my community educating and advocating for patients struggling with pain management or patients needing guidance with Cannabis and CBD products. I believe CBD is a medication and should be treated as one. I am starting
some educational classes at Penfield Recreation in January. The patient education is what patients need to safely incorporate any kind of CBD of daily regimen. I am passionate about pain management and healthy living, with my experience and knowledge I have a lot to offer. I look forward to speaking with you in more detail. Warm Regards, Meredith Dawes Certified Cannabis Rn 585-739-6373 ICarePainRN@Gmail.com
{ GIVING BACK }
{ MENTALLY THINKING }
EMBRACING CHANGE BY BONNIE FLOYD
Given that we’ve just welcomed in a brand-new year, as well as a new decade, I’ve decided to write about embracing change. Of course, change is an inevitable feature of each of our lives. Some of us openly embrace change, whereas others are highly resistant to encountering transitions. Sometimes, we intentionally seek to introduce changes in our lives, whereas at other times we seek to avoid such changes at all cost. Many of us intentionally try to introduce positive changes in our lifestyles at the beginning of a new year, by making New Year’s resolutions. Whether we wish to stop smoking, or to engage in exercise more regularly, such resolutions are more likely to be successful if we establish small goals that can be relatively easily obtained. By achieving such types of goals, we’re in a much better position to achieve larger types of goals. Some have dubbed these types of changes as microresolutions. For example, you might set a goal to eat healthier in 2020. A realistic component of this resolution might be to forego fast food during January 2020. If you’re able to achieve such a change, the chances increase that you’ll be able to continue to make this positive change throughout coming months of the year. A key component in embracing change appears to be the degree to which we can exert a certain sense of control 268
over any given change taking place in our lives. Some changes are freely chosen, but others are forced upon us. For example, think of the enormous difference between being served with divorce papers, versus deciding to initiate a divorce.
we mourn the possibilities that never came to fruition, for whatever reason. Both types of loss are valid. We need to allow ourselves adequate time to fully mourn such losses that happen during our lives. This is often a very painful process, without a doubt.
Experiencing chronic illness is another type of change that no one ever chooses to experience. Those individuals who best adapt to change are those who
We must come to terms with the stark reality of our current life situation, as opposed to trying to retain our preconceived conceptualization of what might have been. However, if we should fail to grieve adequately for whatever we’ve lost, it still exerts a powerful impact upon us. Such complicated forms of grieve most often prove even more difficult to successfully resolve. Unfortunately, there really is no proven shortcut to mourning loss. To be most successful, we need to fully go through this process, not around it.
retain the belief that they can control their reactions to changes, if not to the changes themselves. This is, of course, the antithesis of having a “victim mentality.”
We might be tempted to minimize the impact of relatively minor changes that take place during our lives. However, it’s very important to avoid doing so, if possible. Experiencing a series of minor changes is not insignificant. Each new change demands that we make some degree of adjustment, after all.
Changes frequently involve facing a series of losses, whether such losses are real or symbolic in nature. Sometimes, we grieve the actual loss of something that we had in our lives. At other times,
If you happen to be experiencing significant change in your life, please be patient with yourself. Don’t expect yourself to become accustomed to change overnight. Give yourself time to adjust
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{ MENTALLY THINKING } “Try to become more comfortable with change, since it’s a necessary component of each of our lives.”
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{ {RWO’S MENTALLY MENTAL THINKING HEALTH} } “ If you happen to be experiencing significant change in your life, please be patient with yourself. Don’t expect yourself to become accustomed to change overnight.”
overnight. Give yourself time to adjust to the myriad effects of change. To the extent possible, try to derive comfort from participating in daily rituals. This may take the form of engaging in prayer or meditation. Engaging in such practices can really go a long way to ground us during periods of significant transition. If you’re fortunate enough to become aware of a significant change that will take place in your life, try not to engage in altering every aspect of your lifestyle concurrently. Be careful to retain 270
some familiar routines and practices, to minimize the overall impact of a significant change. Please don’t isolate yourself during those periods of transition taking place in your life. Social support is tremendously important in ameliorating the negative impact of psychosocial stressors. Reach out to family and friends, even if it feels difficult to do so at first. Others are willing to assist you in coping with major transitions. You may one day do the very same for them, too.
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Try to become more comfortable with change, since it’s a necessary component of each of our lives. Recognize the inherent potential in periods of transition. After the stinging pain of loss has subsided, you may even come to embrace the new possibilities that accompany change in your life. One day, you may even be thankful for such a period of transition, although it was originally painful to go through.
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{ YOU MATTER }
BEING CONNECTED BY JUDI SWANSON
Last night I had the wonderful opportunity to meet up with a friend I had not seen in a long time. Our lives are very different and we are very different people. She is retired yet when she worked we had different jobs, she kinda works out while I am a fan of the workout, she likes shopping, me not so much. We have more differences and less common factors. What keeps our friendship strongly intact is the power of our friendship connection. Our relationship in which we are bonded to each other. There links that connect us.
who you are, not what you are. In a world where we are supposedly more “connected” due to social media and all it brings, the reality is that people are more lonely. Loneliness is a universal emotion. Have you ever had a time you were in a room full of people that you knew and felt alone? The answer is probably yes. According to an article by VeryWell Mind from September 2019 “loneliness is actually a state of mind. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted”. Being chronically
Today is a great day to talk about connections. If you think about it, connections with others is something we all desire and need. We all are searching for a place where we feel we belong, people we feel linked to. Scientist Matthew Lieberman in an article in the Scientific American 2013 talked how research has shown that social pain is real pain. We want to be connected because it is a key element to our survival and happiness. An article in the Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry in 2017 based on research found that social connectedness improves mental health. Being connected with others is a big deal. Let’s be clear about what type of connections are healthiest. This is not about the amount of people you know and interact with. This is about connections where you feel listened to, understood, and accepted in a relationship for who you are. It’s about deep bonds of love, caring, support. The connections with others if they see you at your worst they will still love and care for you. These are connections that are about 272
lonely can cause health problems. It can hurt your heart, brain, increase your chance of getting depressed, abusing substances. When I am out and about at the store, gym, getting gas in my car, work I look at the people around me. More often than not I see individuals looking down, sad faces, stressed faces, and some totally focused on their phones. While living has many glorious, beautiful moments, life can be stressful and hard. What helps to make the hard times a less stressful is our connections. The people in our life who are there for us, and we are there for them.
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Did you know when you are stressed, doing good for others will decrease your stress? Well it does. In an article in NPR in 2015 titled “Be Kind, Unkind: How helping others can keep stress in check” Emily Ansell, psychiatry professor at Yale School of Medicine ” thinks you should do the good deed, and not just because it’s the nice thing to do. The psychiatry professor says lending a hand could actually help you feel less stressed out. Ansell co-authored a report with two of her Yale School of Medicine colleagues, Elizabeth Raposa and Holly Laws, that found that people who are generally inclined toward altruism tend to be happier and live longer than those who aren’t. What Ansell and her colleagues discovered is that whatever your baseline level of antipathy may be, hating people a little bit less for the day can make you feel better. “It’s not just whether you’re more altruistic than the next person,” Ansell says, “it’s that being more altruistic than usual can change your experience from day to day. It’s all about doing more than your average.” You have the POWER and CONTROL to take an action that will help improve your mood, feeling connected, and overall sense of wellbeing. You have the POWER and CONTROL to take an action that can help improve the mood, connectedness, and sense of wellbeing of someone else. Yes you. I am asking everyone to take the CONNECTION CHALLENGE. To do it for ourselves and to do it to create a ripple of good for anyone you come in contact with. When you are out and
“Even though it may not feel like it you do have the POWER and CONTROL to do good for yourself. You so matter in this world!”
{ YOU MATTER } “You have the POWER and CONTROL to take an action that will help improve your mood, feeling connected, and overall sense of wellbeing.”
about put your phone away (unless you are checking your shopping list) look at people, smile, and say hello. Yep that’s it. Keep it simple. Use your power of goodness that resides in you (even when some days it is hard to feel your inner good) to show your care and concern for others. Do it for others and for yourself. Everyone needs and deserves kindness and connection. Every single one of us. So most amazing person look at the connections in your life. Take stock about 274
the people around you. Do they bring you up, support and love you unconditionally, or do you end up somehow feeling worse about yourself when you are around them? If the people in your life are bringing you more down make some changes. Have a courageous conversation with them about how you feel. For some individuals you may need to distance and spend less time with them. There are times that you might need to totally break ties with people in your life that do you more harm than good.
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If you are looking for more solid connections in your life take an action. Do things that you like to do, reach out to people you want to get to know better, volunteer, do something. Even though it may not feel like it you do have the POWER and CONTROL to do good for yourself. You so matter in this world! May your connectedness be with you.
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{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }
ARE YOU OFFENDED? BY GIOVANNA WALTON
Have you ever seen a woman, whose skirt or shorts were showing her butt and you could see her breasts because her shirt was so low and wide that it left nothing to the imagination? What goes through your mind? Are you offended? Do you think less of her or are you thinking, wow I wish I had the guts to dress like that? There was a post with a question asking if it was wrong for men to look at a woman as a sex object IF she dresses provocatively. The responses were interesting. Some women said that it was a woman’s right to dress provocatively without men trying to get with her or look at her like a sex object. They said she should be given the same respect as someone who was dressed from head to toe! They said the man isn’t an animal and should be more evolved than that. One woman said a woman could dress provocatively without being violated and that a woman who dresses that way, should understand, also, that when she dresses that way, that people will judge her. Another woman said that women who dress like that are phony and that they WANT the attention but don’t want to be viewed as a sex object. After many responses from the women, a man finally gave his input on how a woman who dresses provocatively is viewed. He said, that women who get upset when a man sees her as a sex object is only because he’s the wrong man. She’s not seeking the attention from a man she’s not interested in or sees as a potential anything so she dismisses his efforts of trying to make a move. He said that a woman who has what it takes to get a man’s attention can do it without failure. In other words, men want a woman who dresses conservatively, leaving parts of her 280
for his imagination. Show him what you have behind closed doors. Which brings me to these conclusions. The responses from that post were not wrong. Every response had a valid point. They perceive things differently because it’s coming from a place they were subjected to growing up...experiences, environment, and what they were exposed to. Yes, it IS a woman’s right to dress however she wants
to without being looked at like a sex object. Yet, my question would be, why? Why and what purpose do you have FOR dressing that way? Prostitutes dressed like that to seek a male’s attention for her services. Her sole purpose for dressing like that IS for attracting a man FOR the sole purpose of sex. She gets paid for those services. No it’s NOT wrong for a man to look at a woman as a sex object if that’s how she dresses. It’s only if his advances were turned down and he keeps pursuing, is it a problem. In the Merriam-Webster dictionary it states: ‘The act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially
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for money. Did you know that most of our fashion today was borrowed from what prostitutes wore? Fishnet stockings, leather, over the knee boots, see through clothing, clothes that reveal your body so much so that you can be pictured naked...I could go on but I’m sure you understand by now what I’m talking about. Just look at the fashion of today. Prostitution is the worlds oldest profession. Prostitution services men who seek sexual pleasure that they desire and that no one else will do (without being paid) or their wife, for whatever reason, has lost interest. What attracts a man to a prostitute is the way she dresses. This can’t be denied. With that being said, I am not saying that when a woman dresses like that, does it mean she should be violated or abused or groped? NO!!!!! Absolutely not! HOWEVER, IF you don’t want to be looked at like a sex object, or you don’t want to send the wrong message, then DON’T dress up as one! When I see a woman dressed like that, I see her as wanting to catch a man with her body, not her mind and I’m a woman! I’m also not a woman who dresses like I’m a nun, from head to toe. Lol Now that I’ve given you a little bit of ‘history’ and added the comment from a man, does it make sense now why men would look at a woman as a sex object when she dresses provocatively? A woman who dresses herself without exposing all of her body and leaves some to the imagination, is a woman who respects herself. She’s a woman who is confident enough, not only in her own skin but intelligent enough that she can attract a man-NOT just ANY man but the right man-by just being her.
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } “No it’s NOT wrong for a man to look at a woman as a sex object if that’s how she dresses. It’s only if his advances were turned down and he keeps pursuing, is it a problem.”
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{ GLOW FASHION }
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{ LIFE IN BALANCE }
NEW YEAR, NEXT OPPORTUNITY BY JENNIFER FRARY, LMSW
New year, new you. New Year’s resolutions. Adding something new this year. Taking something away this year. Sound familiar? Everywhere we look someone is telling us that we need a goal; we need to be working on something; we need to achieve something. As we head into 2020, I think it’s important that we consider how rigid some of these phrases are; how likely they are to result in a feeling of failure or shame. When we set a goal like losing “the weight” in 2020, or of living a brand new lifestyle in 2020, it doesn’t leave a lot of room for the steps of growth, or steps back, or the wiggles and jiggles life tends to bestow on us. It’s great to have a goal but sometimes we set ourselves up for failure by thinking “this is going to be the year I get it all right,” or “this is the year I get it all done.” I’d like us to take a look at the New Year differently: new year, next opportunity. Each day of this and every year is an opportunity to make progress. So, 2020 is simply our next opportunity. As women we tend to take on too many things. We take on, with broad shoulders, the weight of the emotional needs of our families, our own emotional needs, the things our friends and our coworkers need, and so on. It’s not helping us take care of ourselves; its not helping us view our efforts toward progress positively. Rather, many of us expect perfection. We see a lot of figures in media, television, YouTube, Pinterest, etc. who seem to have it all together. Women are writing books on how to be the best we can be, how to stop apologizing, how to
get up in the morning and get things done, how to set goals, how to work 90 days straight on something. And if you can accomplish that, bravo! But if you can’t, or you don’t even want to, there’s nothing wrong with that either. I want encourage us to go into 2020 with a new outlook on what it means to be successful. I want us to see that what is important is progress, not perfection. So what if we achieve only 50-70% of what we would’ve liked ideally? Can we be happy with just that. Take a moment to consider this with me, in 2020 I want to do my best to make progress. My best will be different each day, depending on my mental, physical, and spiritual environment. When I make a mistake I will acknowledge it. When I do wrong I will own it. And when I do well, when I achieve what I set out to achieve, I will celebrate it. What if in 2020 having the next opportunity to do our best, accepting whatever that looks like on a given day, meant we could, as women, encourage others to do the same. How would your life change if you allowed for error when setting goals or expectations? How would your life change if you allowed for your own mistakes and those of others? How would your life change if you gave yourself grace in the same ways that you give it to others? And, what if you also celebrated your
progress in the same way you celebrate others’ successes? That might be the most beautiful year you’ve experienced yet. When we set ourselves up with goals and resolutions that require perfection, we are establishing rigidity and we are setting ourselves up for failure. Most of us fear failure because it connects us with our shame spiral. Too much focus on shame and we end up depressed. Avoid looking at our shame too much and we end up anxious. It’s lose lose. “Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ~Brene Brown The way to win/win is a new perspective on successes and failures; on progress that happens one day at a time. Join me in scrapping any preconceived goals or resolutions. Join me in accepting the next opportunity that 2020 offers. New Year, next opportunity; the next opportunity to make progress, not perfection. BIO: Jennifer Frary, LMSW is a private practice therapist in Bloomfield, NY. She specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, and addictive behaviors. Learn more at www. thrivingtherapy.com.
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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }
ART HEALS YOUR MIND & YOUR HEART BY LISA WAGNER
How Viewing & Creating Art Can Be Transformative We’ve all laid witness to how something as simple as a song’s lyrics, a quote or piece of artwork has changed how we thought about the world or ourselves. It can be transformative, raising us out of our lowest points so that we may heal and grow. Seeing life from a new perspective, feeling compassion for someone you thought you could never forgive or understand can be a ripple in how those around you see their lives.
just be or in sharing their own personal journey through depression’s chaos as they take in my body of work thus far. We have shared stories, tears, hugs and compassion and bring healing. Although that was a small part of my original intention with these pieces, it has suddenly becoming the most beautiful part of the work and found its rightful place at its forefront. Knowing you are not alone and that others are experiencing this unfold in their lives
In my art studio, I have been working on a series around mental illness and its effects on everyone it touches, whether it be first-hand or happening to someone you know and love. Its insidious nature can leach into every crevice of our lives with not much sympathy or empathy for what it leaves in its wake. Conditions like ADHD, anxiety and depression that help the other gain momentum, can feel like falling into the rapids without a life vest or forewarning that it’s about to take over your entire life and being. It pulls you under with no room to breath as you claw your way around in the darkness, making your attempts more desperate and irrational. Some choose to let the waves carry them away, as hopelessness envelopes their being. Others find an inner strength to keep their head above water no matter how exhausting the tumult. They can see and hear their loved ones throwing out lifelines. So, how do we, as a society tackle this growing concern of mental health and the feeling of helplessness it creates by instead giving everyone currently suffering, hope? I know that I have seen healing happening in my studio that has caught me off guard at times. When my viewers come into my space, it somehow allows them a sense of safety to 286
that advice on how you could do things better and not feel that way if you would just change your life’s perspective or go take a vacation on a beach somewhere is not helpful. This is what I have found almost always provides even a short respite from the pain; creativity. I have had students that are in the midst of a personal crisis find solace in the act of creating. The goal is never to create a masterpiece but to find a slice of joy in the act of moving your hands and calming the mind. It is a chance to let the medium and self-conscious show you what there really is to see and know. You can be in the rapids when you walk in and leave feeling refreshed and more alive. Their pieces give them insight to their highest selves while nudging them onto what their next purposeful step should be. It also allows them to begin living with more intention. That is magical!
has a resonance that can help people find some amount of peace. Depression is a lonely path that can leave one in a state of helplessness and a sense of invisibility. No one knows how to talk about it with you, how to support you or what it is you are going through unless they’ve walked that dark path. How could they know that you just needed a listening ear, a grocery store run, a cup of coffee or to just have you sit quietly with them to ease their suffering? No one tells you that. No one tells you
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My art studio is in the Anderson Arts Building (aka Anderson Alley). Because we are part of Rochester’s NOTA, we are fortunate to have open studios on First Fridays (6-9pm) and Second Saturdays (12-4pm). This allows us to talk about our work with those passing through. At the most recent First Friday, I spoke with several people about my mental health pieces. I was blown away by how many people began to tell me their stories of heartache but also of how they had risen up from their darkest times to find even more beauty on the other side. One gentleman, whom I’ll call William, began to tell me his story about his dark season and showed me a piece he had painted that represented what his struggle felt like. It was exactly what I had seen in a dream about my loved one and what they were going through. It was a depiction of a dark
{ TRAVELING WITH ROCHESTER WOMAN }
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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “Knowing you are not alone and that others are experiencing this unfold in their lives has a resonance that can help people find some amount of peace.”
That he was blessed to have come out the other side. William’s advice; just keeping taking those steps forward, no matter how small. With each step you get closer to the light at the other end of the tunnel. It’s just the middle that seems bleakest. Don’t allow yourself to stay there. You are worth taking those steps, even if the ground feels like quicksand. He left me in tears and wrapped me in a loving hug. I healed a little more that day, as did he. That felt miraculous. When I shared it with my loved one, they too could feel that miracle and use the example of his painting to move a little more each day. Again, miraculous.
moving and incredibly touching. Knowing that they can take them home and sit with them, allowing the message it has for them brings each of us some peace. There have also been times that I have had students or viewers come to my space and ask to just stay for a while. They feel peaceful and aligned here. Why, I’m not exactly sure but it may just be in the knowing that they have found a safe place to be that is nonjudgmental and compassionate. It’s like we “get” each other. Learning about mental
William also spoke to me about how art had helped save his life. He had taken up acrylic painting and never has a plan in mind for his piece. He just knew he had to express what he was feeling inside and get them out onto the canvas. How working like this for the last few years had resurrected his soul and given him hope. He is continually surprised what it is his subconscious has to say and what it would like him to see. William now helps to counsel others in the position he found himself in a decade ago and has assisted them in taking their lives back through creativity and fellowship. During my classes, I have had students open up to me about their trials and tribulations that they don’t know how to work through. Their trust in me as the teacher and in the process has released much of the stigma they felt prior to coming into my studio. I feel as though I’m just the conduit for what something greater than us can use to help heal them. I ask for guidance and somehow, we devise a plan for their work that allots them the strength and courage to move forward. Inevitably, their pieces are 288
health and being able to just witness without judgement has been a big learning curve but one that is becoming more needed and necessary than ever before. If I was going to create pieces on the subject, I knew I needed to fully immerse myself in the “why” of it all. It’s funny, though. You think you have a decent grasp on it and then you hear another story and you realize there’s much to learn. How differently we all process
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shame and its attempts to make you feel separate from the whole. It is expansive and omnipresent. Art beautifully allows you to feel like you a truly a part of something, especially the dialogue around this illness. Art can also give you a healthy means to work through your depression or anxiety in a way that few other activities can. No matter whether you are in the middle of the rapids or watching a loved one struggle to survive them, there is healing in the act of creating or viewing art. All that is needed is the willingness to try, to listen to your heart and then move. It’s where you can find your voice and work through pain while adding color to your dark world. It’s where everyone’s voices matter and need to be heard. The arts also continue to expand the forum on this national health crisis so that we may find better ways of treating and healing ourselves. When we are all in a better headspace, we can begin to create dynamic solutions to today’s problems at hand in a loving and compassionate way. This could ease stress levels, undo centuries of pain and help us to raise children that can carry their joy and laughter throughout adulthood. Wouldn’t that be the biggest miracle of all?! Bringing art into our everyday lives can help heal our world in ways we can wonderfully begin to imagine and express. It’s just a matter of allowing so that you can pull yourself up out of the waters of chaos and be free.
{ UNSTOPPABLE { SHIFT+CONTROL WOMEN } }
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{ {WOMEN SHIFT+CONTROL IN POLITICS} }
WOMEN ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL BY TERRY DANIELE
Hello Rochester Women - Kelly Bauer has invited me to write a monthly column on women in politics in Rochester. I am so proud to be involved with this project, and I hope that my articles will be informative and significant to you.
All three women have children with varying challenges and have been through the process. But to new parents, dealing with fear because their child doesn’t seem to be developing like other children, the cuts have increased the anxiety.
This month I want to introduce you to three women I was lucky enough to meet on the 2019 campaign trail. They are not running for office, and are political only in an expansive meaning of the word. Their involvement in politics began because they recognized the necessity of political action in making changes in our lives. They are working to improve the lives of our children in Rochester.
Trying to navigate that system is a daunting task to say the least. “Many parents feel like they are drowning” said Dooher. No surprise there right. Parents work, run a household and take kids to and from sporting events. With all this, trying to navigate life with a child with disabilities is beyond just daunting. Parents with special
Brittany Jencik, Kim Dooher, and Danielle Salamone never envisioned themselves as political persons. That was until they needed to get something done for parents in Monroe County. Monroe County has a program called Early Intervention (EI). EI programming works with children from birth to age three. These children have been identified with developmental disabilities and/or delays in development. EI brings service providers directly into a family’s home. These home visits allow service providers to work in the child’s natural environment and with all family members. The providers not only work with the child, they teach the family how to manage the child’s therapy, any necessary equipment and the use of best practices for the success of the child. Sounds like a perfect system, everyone wins right? Well, it used to be… Recently, during interviews with all three women, “used to be” is exactly the right phrase. The county, citing budgetary woes, has an EI provider shortage. This means children needing and eligible for services are not receiving EI services to which they are legally entitled.
families. Before they meant to do it, they were becoming the voices of Early Intervention and the problems that faced EI at the county level. They made it their job to make sure someone representing EI was at every monthly meeting of the county legislature, spoke at the legislative meetings and reached out to anyone else they thought might be able to help them and the other similarly situated families. They lead a partnership between parents, providers and community advocates on this issue. They reached out to lawmakers and candidates to educate on the issue and seek their commitment on support for our children. Their hope was, and is, that Monroe County would find local funding and/or take their case to the state level and argue their need for an increase in support for EI. They formed Parents Helping Parents Coalition of Monroe County: Public Forum, a Facebook page where parents could contact them for advice on where to go and who to go to when the parents were faltering and needed support.
needs children NEED help and assistance navigating the system designed to help them. The budget cuts have made that task even more difficult. Now enter Jencik, Dooher, and Salamone. They had been through the process, had an idea what to expect and what a fully funded program could be. Jencik said the three had known each other for a few years, “The life of being a special needs momma can be a lonely one, but the friendships that develop through the journey are incredible and provide tremendous strength, support and camaraderie”. The women recognized the system was failing our Monroe County
These women do this tirelessly in hopes that our children, aged birth – three will once again have easy access to the Early intervention services here in Monroe County. These women are not running for office directly, but have come to recognize the importance of involvement in politics. So often we are cynical about politics, but without involvement, change is usually impossible. There are so many issues facing us that no officeholder can be fully informed about all of them. Advocates like these women are an important part of the solution. They are prime examples of what working towards a better community looks like.
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2020 Fashion Show and Brunch Sunday, April 19; 10am-2pm
Marriott Syracuse Downtown 100 E Onondaga St tickets $75-$100 via eventbrite
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PHOTOFACIALS IN FEBRUARY BY CHRISTINA MCDONALD
Photofacial or FotoFacial is a safe non invasive treatment to improve skin texture and appearance by reducing and in many cases eliminating age spots, sun damage, rosacea, broken capillaries, melasma, fine lines and all pigment issues. Intense Pulsed Light (IPL), Broad band light (BBL) are terms associated with Photofacial, and can be used on the face, neck, and other body parts. However, not all laser machines are the same nor do the offer the same results. Some lasers only treat some of the skin issues while others will treat all of the skin concerns. Sciton has trademarked BBL (broad band light.), and considered to be the most powerful IPL device on the market. This is the machine that is available at Vega MedSpa. It is important to do your research and go to a provider that is trained and expierenced in treating many different skin types. Darker skin tones can be at risk when getting laser treatments, and not always considered to be good Canadiate s for laser treatments. This procedure is often recommended to be done in the Fall or Winter. It is important to remain out of the sun immediately after treatment for up to several weeks. When addressing sun damage, it is recommended that your sun exposure be minimized to avoid post inflammatory hyperpigmentation or worsening of age spots and melasma. Also vascular lesions and spider veins can also be aggravated with sun exposure. 294
SPF of 30 or greater should be worn at all times, even during the winter months. Prior to treatments it is important to know that Photofacial can not be done when you are on photosensitizing medications such as accurate, and typically recommended that you wait for six months after cessation of the medication. Photofacial should be performed in a series, of 3-6 treatments usually, performed 3-4 weeks apart.
more blurry and fuzzy as it fades. Most patients report the treatment to feel like a “snap” like a rubber band. These treatments take approximately 30 minutes and cause little discomfort. Full results are seen about 5-6 months after a series, but immediate improvement can be seen as soon as 2 weeks after treatment. Photofacial are rejuvenating and this is the main reason these are requested. The heat emitted helps with collagen formation and helps to reduce redness with treatment of the vascular lesions and spider veins found below the epidermis. Fine lines are improved especially with consistent treatments. Skin cells are stimulated and help for regeneration. Skin will be clearer and smoother and thus appears more vibrant. These are the characteristics of youthful faces. Now newer machines and devices are coming out with combination IPL and radio frequency which adds new levels of improvement.
The amount of treatments are directly related the the specific skin concern that is being treated.
All women’s and men alike should be considering this treatment in effort to improve and rejuvenate their skin.
Immediately after treatment you can expect redness, swelling, and tenderness. Bruising, blistering, and changes in skin pigment is to be expected. Sun spots become darker and more noticeable like coffee grounds before sloughing or flaking off. With vascular lesions you will expect to see redness that becomes
Sorry for late entry, can you give me the date of the next entry. Christina
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Christina McDonald, NP-C Vega plastic Surgery and MedSpa (585) 383-4040 Voice (585) 383-4051 Fax
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UNINTENTIONALLY SABATOGING YOUR BUSINESS BY KATIE MELIA
5 WAY S Y O U ’ R E UNINTENTIONALLY SABOTAGING YOUR BUSINESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA Love it or hate it, social media is here and the masses are using it to make purchases and discover new brands. This indispensable tool can make or break your brand. Here are 5 ways you’re unintentionally are sabotaging your business on social media.
that you are a professional business you need to look polished & branded. It takes me a total of 60 seconds to peruse a person’s page to tell if they have a plan in action or if they simply post in a reactive and scattered way. They put in the multiple fonts, they steal other people’s posts, the posts are random and don’t have a cohesive look or feel.
1. You don’t keep up on the guidelines and rules. 2. You don’t plan out the entire month ahead of time. 3. You allow multiple people to post to your account. 4. You’re inconsistent with your branding. 5. You don’t engage enough with your audience 1. Every month Instagram, Facebook, and the like changes the rules. Most people do not keep up on this. Doing so can cause huge problems to your account. Did you know Instagram no longer allows third party apps that use your sign in info? Do you know that continuing to be signed into these accounts, even if it was months ago,may cause a shadowban to occur? This makes it near impossible to be seen by new viewers. It can also cause your account to be suspended and banned. So, keep your password safe and changing at least every few months, and find a person that will keep up on the changing rules. 2. In order to convey to your audience
They have a pattern, clear branding, a theme, a color palette, and it doesn’t change month to month. I look forward to their new posts, and I am intrigued and want to know more. 3. I get the desire to save money when you own your own business. I run 3 businesses- I know first hand about this. I also recognize the reality that you need to delegate in order to be successful. All successful entrepreneurs delegate in order to focus on their business and where their strengths are. Most people do not have the time or energy to do what is needed to shine and succeed on social media. I spend roughly 2 hours per client per day, this is why I delegate and hire people to do this work with me. When you allow those who aren’t trained in social media to run your accounts and post, it looks unprofessional. It looks like a teenager is running it. It looks like you aren’t a real company. If you want to use in house people on your staff to do this job, and do it well- pay for them to get proper training in it.
This is especially true of accounts that change up their theme constantly. You are conveying to the masses that you’re business is very disorganized and unprofessional. Let’s be honest, I don’t trust businesses that look this way. It feels like a fly by night operation, and it doesn’t build trust. It is also easy to find the accounts that are on their game, with a clear look, and message.
Then there are those that hire a social media manager for a short time and give up before there is a chance for consistency and momentum, hence disrupting the theme & brand. You need a good 6-12 months to create this, and to do this you need a consistent voice. 4. This goes hand in hand with reason 3! Your page should have a pattern. Your page should have a color palette. Your page should have a message. Your page when you look at it should be your lookbook. People may look at followers,
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{ SOCIALLY SPEAKING } “Love it or hate it, social media is here and the masses are using it to make purchases and discover new brands.“
people may look at engagement, but they definitely know in the course of a 30 second if they like the look of your page. That is the length of time you have to convince someone to follow you. To convince someone to engage with you. To convince someone to want to take the next step and make an appointment or purchase. You have only 30 seconds, so what do your potential customers see? Can you change the pattern? Sure but it needs to be in line with what you already have going. Again, this is where hiring a professional is key. 5. Why should people continue to follow 300
you? Does the person in charge of your social media respond to comments? Do they engage with your folllower’s account beyond the occasional like? Letting your followers know that you see them is important. It also reminds them that you’re there. It may be that extra nudge to take the next step with you. Social media is not a one way street, and with all things in life, you get what you give. Katie is a social media manager, graphic designing,soap making, herbalist, EFT practitioner who is passionate about helping others, permaculture, wellness, and her three children. She is currently
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accepting 5 new social media clients. When you mention to her that you read this article in the new edition of Rochester Woman Online, and receive 2 months free when purchasing a social media management package. You can check out her website at: www.dreamcatchersocial. com or on Instagram @moonandstars_ wellness + @moonandstarsapothecary