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Special Feature

ANCHOR WOMAN, PHOTOHOURNALIST,.. SUSAN ROOK D’ETTORRE

In Her Own Words THROUGH SICKNESS & HEALTH ANGELLA AND HARRY LUYK


Art • Music • Food • Family Fun

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april 201

{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }

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COVER STORY

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LEAGUE OF PROFESSIONAL WOMEN

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106 98

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{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }

REGULARS

HEALTH & WELLNESS

8

PUBLISHERS LETTER

70

GLICKFIT

10

TEAM LIST

138

ASK THE DOCTOR

50

QUEEN OF ARTS Natalie Sinisgalli

146

FROM FOODIE TO FIGHTER

164

IN HER DEFENSE

168

PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY

196

FIT, CRAZY AND PREGNANT

56 #HOTMESSMOMBOSS 78 STRATAGEM 90

HER EDGE Katie Flaherty

98

LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS Hair We Love Salon

112

THE BRAINERY

116

BREAKING THE MOLD

142

20 SOMETHING

152

LOOKING FOR A NEW CAREER

156

WHEN I GROW UP

160

WOMAN WHO INSPIRES Sharpewear

176

SUSAN SPEAKS

182

INSITE ON A LIFE

184

FOR A GOOD CAUSE ART THERAPY

188

RW PRODUCT HIGHLIGHT Beautiful Butters Athen’as Novelties

194

A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE

204

ITS KITCHEN THYME

208

FOOD

KAREN’S COACHING CORNER

150

212 236

TAKE MY ADVICE RW SECRET

242

IT’S KITCHEN THYME

64

SPECIAL FEATURES 26

SUSAN ROOK D’ETTORRE

64

IN SICKNESS & IN HEALTH

106 WHERE THE TRAIL TAKES YOU 122

WOMEN OWNED BUSINESSES

FASHION & BEAUTY

10

42

FASHION FIRST WITH JOAN LINCOLN

120

ALL ABOUT M.E.

172

MAKE YOU BLUSH

174

BEAUTY BITES

198

MASKARA BEAUTY TIPS

200

HAIR HYPE

184

ROCHESTER DRINKS

56


{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

“A woman who walks in purpose doesn’t have to chase people or opportunities. Her light causes people and opportunities to pursue her.”

I

T T

ON OUR COVER

Former CNN anchor woman, photo-journalist and all around inspiring and amazing woman, Rochester Woman Online’s very own columnist and Associate Editor, Susan Rook d’Ettorre. Clothing provided by Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment. Hair by Mary Bushey at Mario’s Hair Salon and makeup by Rosalind Matthews. Susan was shot on location at the incredible Village Gate by Marisa Nicodemus with styling by Cheryl L. Kates-Benman.

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love the saying, “ A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her.”

Kelly


{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF ASSOCIATE EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Susan Rook d’Ettorre Kelly Breuer Marisa Nicodemus Chris Johnson Rock Beach Photography Sarah Salvilla - Artistic Photography Rob Daniels Photography Todd Elliott Natalie Sinisgalli Photography Renee Venisky Cheryl Kates-Benman Julie M. May Liza Pabon Phyllis Haberer Rebecca Jaffarian Sheila Kennedy Cassondra Kubit Julia Antenucci Chloe Corcoran Denisse Espalter Dave Jenkins Angella Luyk Tracy Echeverri Megan Cormack Kathy Gleason Susan Rook d’ettorre Christina Duco Ann Marie Ebling Robert Brenna, Jr. Julie Donofrio Karen Messina Luci Sacchetti Tom Turner Susan Katz Aser Connor Sokol Amanda Scott Kyle Glickman Ewa H.

Charlyn Elliott Joan E. Lincoln Natalie Sinisgalli Kristen Joy Martin Katie Flaherty

Kelly Breuer Denisse Espalter - I.D. Sociale The Next Design

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.


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$20 for 5K and $25 for 10K before May 31, 2018 • $25 for 5K and $30 for 10K after May 31, 2018. • Free tech shirts for first 300 registered runners. • Runners can raise $50 to receive an aluminum water bottle. • Walkers: $25 registration fee includes a cotton t-shirt if registered before June 1, 2018. 5K- Top male / female finishers each receive a baseball hat; medals will be awarded to the top male and female finishers in each age group. 10K- Top 3 male and female finishers receive a $100, $75, or $50 Fleet Feet store voucher; store vouchers for $15 - $40 are also awarded to top 3 male and female finishers in each age group. Plus great new fundraising prizes!

Questions? Call 311• www.cityofrochester.gov/TheFastandTheFurriest ars of Dou Ye

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{ COVER STORY }

CHARLYN ELLIOTT BY CHARLYN ELLIOTT I PHOTOS BY TODD ELLIOTT

ABOUT THE LEAGUE We are an organization of like-minded women set out to Empower, Encourage, and Elevate other women business owners through networking and building long-lasting relationships. Charlyn C Elliott is the CEO and Co founder of Elliott by Design. She is a wife and mother of four an accomplished digital media marketing professional with experience in bridging the gap between business strategy and design. She earned her Masters in Media Design from Full Sail University in 2013 and has an undergrad in Organizational Management, which assists, with her merging strategy with media design. Charlyn is an active member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc., Theta Alpha Zeta Chapter, where she assist in community service events and on working with the youth. She is also serving as an active member and the 16

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temporary co chair of the Black Women’s Leadership Forum. Charlyn is also a contributing author of the book “The Journey of a Teenage Mother” and also assisted her 5-yearold daughter in writing her own book entitled “Puppy Love” in which her daughter received 2 proclamations and a Rise Star Roc Award. Her passion is helping educate our youth in the importance of literacy. She is also

helping her daughter develop reading programs throughout the Rochester, NY community. Charlyn has created events throughout the community to bring people together such as sold out Unplugged events where local Artist showcase their Talent. She’s hosted Mommy and Me tea parties, Mother Son, and Father Daughter

dances where the community comes and enjoy and afternoon/evening with either their significant other or their children. She also received the 2016 Roc Award for the best black business of the year. In February of 2018 Charlyn launched The League of Professional Women. An organization of like-minded women set out to Empower, Encourage and help Elevate other women business owners through networking and building long lasting relationships. She is also launching her TV Show Strictly Business in May of 2018. The Talk show is a platform to have discussions around the ins and outs of and the challenges with women and business. She will also be receiving the 2018 all women Roc Award. Her ultimate goal is to empower women and children through using her talents, resources and expertise. Charlyn Elliott www.leagueofprofessionalwomen.com www.elliottbydesign.com www.taleahmor.com


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TANISHIA JOHNSON Tanishia Johnson, Co-Founder of League of Professional Women, is a passionate counselor, life coach and motivational speaker. She works professionally and privately as an advocate and social justice ambassador for youth and families. Tanishia is passionate about serving the youth and young adult population, specifically young parents, in urban settings. She is a School Counselor for the Rochester City School District. Previously serving in the role of Program Coordinator for Pathways to Success, a program under the Rochester City School District and the Federal Office of Adolescent Health, she coordinated programs and services for expectant and parenting teen mothers and fathers. Under her leadership, she created the first teen parenting workshops and programs, servicing young mothers and young fathers in the Rochester City School District. Mrs. Johnson is also Adjunct Professor in the Transitional Studies Department at Monroe Community College in Rochester, New York, teaching students in the first year experience program. She is CoFounder and Co-Owner of LOVE Marriage Ministries (L.O.V.E. which stands for Living Our Vows Everyday), founded by The Johnsons, to support, uplift and celebrate black marriages; having a platform that reflects that black marriages not only exist but that they are healthy, thriving and everlasting. Their ministry is open to both married couples and couples in committed relationships seeking marriage. Her life coaching business, Beyond This Moment, focuses on assisting individuals with working on life goals, looking beyond this moment to reach those goals, and focusing on living their purpose driven lives. She is contributing author for the book, The Journey of a Teenage Mother (2013), 18

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completing books signings in the United States and London, UK. Her belief is that the secret to truly reaching ones highest level of success is discovering your passion, working hard, staying in your purpose driven lane and staying committed to living a purposedriven life. A certified trained facilitator in Strengthening the Black Family and Rites of Passage, she facilitates parenting groups for the betterment of “The Village.” She credits some of her greatest accomplishments as follows: As a young mother, pregnant at 15, she graduated from

high school, on time with stellar grades and scholarship funds, while being a mom to a toddler. Second, she is the 1st in her family to graduate from college. Third, going back to college to get her Masters Degree while expecting their 4th child, graduating with honors 3 years later expecting their 5th child. To date, she credits her faith in God and her perseverance, to her accomplishments and great career, which she considers to be her ministry. She feels one of her greatest accomplishment is doing all of this, while successfully running businesses with her husband, serving our community and still having a very healthy, loving purpose driven, servant leader family and marriage. Outside of work, Tanishia enjoys spending time with

her beloved, tribe and family, traveling and girl time with women in her sisterhood circle. She also loves to celebrate the life of those she loves; handling business but always finding time for celebrations! An active member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc., Theta Alpha Zeta Chapter, Mrs. Johnson holds the position of President. She is a Board Member for The Villa of Hope and Healthy Baby Network. As a graduate of the 2013 “Purpose Driven” class for the United Way African American Leadership Development Program, she currently serves as Recruitment and Selection Committee member as well as Steering Committee member. As member of The Black Women’s Leadership Forum, she serves on the Leadership Council and is the Chair of the Education Committee. In June 2015, Tanishia was the recipient of the Community Pillar, “Black Women Roc” award for outstanding service in the Rochester community. In January of 2016 she was profiled in the Democrat and Chronicle and featured as Rochester’s “Woman to Watch”, a prestigious honor in the Rochester community. Tanishia is also profiled as part of the feature story for the April 2016 Spring edition of BreakThru Magazine’s: The Power List: The Top 10 Women in Rochester making history and in September 2016, was honored at their Celebration Gala with the BreakThru Inspiration Award. In February 2018, Tanishia was the recipient of the ROC Awards 2018 for “Outstanding Community Involvement” and was featured that month on News Channel 8 for their segment on Extraordinary People. As an active member of Glory House International in Rochester, New York; her greatest pride and joy, is being in covenant with her husband Cory, for over 17 years and parenting their purpose driven 5 children.


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{ COVER STORY }

ROSALIND MATTHEW Rosalind Matthew has over 20 years experience in the beauty industry as a professional makeup artist in the New York State area. Being a trained Esthetician at Shear Ego International, she specializes in bridal makeup application. She is certified in beauty under the tutelage of famed celebrity makeup artists Sam Fine, Renny Vasquez and Kilprity (Keita Moore). Her passion for beauty started almost 20 years ago, she developed a love for brows and has progressed into a steady climb in the beauty industry. Rosalind now focuses on makeup application for any special event, including bridal, engagement, family, senior, and prom pictures. Her specialty is offering natural flawless

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and picture perfect makeup which lasts all day. Listening to her client’s individual needs and preferences is what she believes is key in making them feel comfortable. You will still look like “you”, just a more flawless and polished “you”. Enhancing natural beauty is the primary goal.

brow class where she teaches to the “every day” women. She has done work for several high fashion bridal photo shoots, and her work has also been featured in commercial print. Her attention to detail creates the elegance and perfection you desire on your wedding day or special event.

Rosalind’s work has appeared in Break Thru Magazine, Rochester Woman Online, Voluptuous Woman, (VLS) Magazine, Rochester Wedding Magazine & Democrat & Chronicle newspaper. Her work was also featured on the runways for Rochester Fashion Week for several years. Rosalind offers the signature brow class- The Billion Dollar

Bridal makeup is all about the A+ version of yourself, and Rosalind listens to what the client wants, and works with them to create the most flattering version. She loves making women look and feel their best and prides herself on dependability, professionalism, and perfection.


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CHRISTINE FRANKLIN Christine Franklin, born and raised in Rochester, NY. She is a wife and mother of 3. She didn’t let the challenges of not having enough high school credits discourage her. Christine received her GED and while working for a children’s center, was inspired to open up her own daycare. She now successfully owns and operates Franklin Family Daycare, which was established in 2013. In 2015 she pursued her CDA and received it after 10 months, during this time she birthed her 3rd child. In 2013 Christine and her husband Eric Franklin launched #iRoclove a T-shirt clothing line. #iRocLove is about “Empowering marriages and Encouraging marriages” one shirt at a time. Christine

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and her husband host couples’ gatherings where the atmosphere is conducive for ladies to let their hair down and men can roll their sleeves up. The company slogan is “we reppin’ the Roc, you can call it Roclove, increasin’ the stock, nothin’ gon stop us”. In 2016, Christine and her husband hosted a financial peace class in downtown Rochester as a push to help people get out of debt. Christine and her husband qualify to teach financial peace as they successfully got out of debt themselves and was able to participate in the “Debt Free Scream” with Dave Ramsey in Brentwood Tennessee. She also believes that your marriage will not be 100% successful if God is not in the center of it.

In 2017 she hosted #iRoclove’s 1st annual 101 Kings & Queens photo shoot in Rochester N.Y and which was featured in the Democrat and Chronicle newspaper. In 2018 #iRocLove was nominated for best T-shirt line in the annual Roc Awards. She was also featured in Breakthru Magazine in 2017 with her husband in the fall issue. Christine is passionate about empowering and encouraging others to be their best selves. She believes that she has to be the difference she wants to see in life, which would then inspired others to be confident and bold in who God has called them to be. This year 2018 her motto is Face Everything And Rise as she is saying yes to things that scare her.


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YOLANDA WADE Yolanda Wade is a bookkeeper for a property management company in East Rochester. She has worked professionally as a bookkeeper since 1996 and has worked for the same employer since 2001. Born in Buffalo, NY she moved to Rochester with her parents at the age of three. From elementary all the way through high school she’s attended public schools in the city of Rochester. She graduated with a regent’s diploma from Joseph C. Wilson Magnet High School just a couple of months after becoming a single teenage mother to her first born son. Determined to

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keep improving herself she received her Associate’s Degree in Accounting from Monroe Community College. She has always worked a fulltime job since high school. She has worked as an Operations Manager, payroll specialist and is also the healthcare benefits coordinator for the company she’s currently employed. In addition to being a fulltime career woman she loves being a mom. She’s a dependable hard worker, and always wants the best for her family. She will help others whenever she is able to. She enjoys working with numbers and the feeling she gets when things are in order

and balanced out gives her peace. She currently resides in Pittsford, NY with her husband of twenty years, their two teenage children and dog.


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YVETTE CONYERS Yvette Conyers is a nationally certified Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP), working as a Clinical Instructor/Course Coordinator at the University of Rochester, School of Nursing. Ms. Conyers will earn her Doctorate of Nursing Practice degree from St. John Fisher College, in May 2018. The clinical research focus of this degree is cultural competence education of staff nurses and effects on patient care outcomes. Yvette is actively involved in both academic and community organizations including American Academy of Nurse Practitioner’s, Chi Eta Phi Sorority, Transcultural Nursing Society, African American Health Coalition, part of Common Grounds Health. She is a member of the School of Nursing

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Council for Diversity and Inclusion (CoDI) and faculty counselor of Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society. Her passion for diversity and inclusion has been recognized and is involved in a community wide structural racism initiative, formed to address the more difficult barriers of racism within the institutions we work. Yvette has facilitated discussions on racial equity and cultural sensitive care. She is a faculty champion for the student led program LIFT-Leading with Integrity for Tomorrow. Yvette is passionate about increasing the representation of minority nurses in nursing profession, which will contribute to improved health and health care experiences for at risk populations. She enjoys providing

career advice, coaching and mentoring to nursing students and believes that just as she was provided a hand reach back, she should do the same. Yvette holds national certification as a Transcultural Nurse and is the recipient of the 2017 Mary Dombeck diversity enhancement faculty award and greater Rochester 40 under 40 African American leaders award. Ms. Conyers earned her post masters FNP certificate from St. John Fisher College, Master of Science in nursing education from Roberts Wesleyan College, Bachelors from the University of Rochester, and initial Associates nursing degree from Monroe Community College.


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S


S THE MANY SIDES OF

SUSAN...

She is a thinker. An observer. A listener and a writer. An internet scholar. A storyteller and a selfdescribed “life hacker.”

{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

BY JULIE M. MAY I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS

Susan Rook D’Ettorre is a journalist and photographer best known for her years as a CNN anchor first co-anchoring “Newsnight” with Patrick Emory and later PrimeNews and “Evening News,” co-anchoring with Bernard Shaw and later hosting the topical daily talk show TalkBack Live. Now she is off the air and living in Rochester, and Susan’s life is completely different but still fascinating. She is a thinker. An observer. A listener and a writer. An internet scholar. A storyteller and a self-described “life hacker.” In other words, it’s impossible to label Susan Rook D’Ettorre. She won’t fit into any box. Her life and career has always been varied. She likes to say “she is made entirely of energy and joy.”

Susan has been a journalist, television news anchor, public advocate, photographer, and writer. She has testified before Congress, been a panelist for a Presidential Debate, and received an Honorary Doctorate. She was been alumni of the year at George Mason University in Fairfax, VA, where she studied Communications. She modestly says she is most proud of her continuing volunteer work and anonymous support for causes she cares about. Asked where she is from and the answer is just as varied. “I was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico. But I grew up in the Washington, DC area, New Mexico, North Carolina and Florida.” “We moved a lot but I’m pretty adaptable so that was exciting,” she said. “We lived for a year on a sailboat, going down ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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Currently, Susan works with people to create a visual representation of their vision and then helps structure ways to make that vision a reality. Her business guides women to make vision boards and then use cuttingedge research to design habits to bring that vision into reality.

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{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “I’m pretty private about where I volunteer because I like the vibe of: ‘what do you do when no one is watching’ but I am a strong believer in community, support, and help. I think we are much stronger together than we ever are as the sum of our individuality.”

the inland waterway. My parents were, what I like to call, conservative hippies. I know that’s a contradiction in terms -- but they were full of contradictions. I was homeschooled about half the time.” You start to wonder if moving around so much made her the adventurous woman she is today. But of all the places she has lived, Susan says Rochester is her favorite city. “This city is unique in the vibrant art and local music scene. I can’t believe the number of festivals and activities always going on. If someone says, there is nothing to do in Rochester then they just aren’t paying attention,” according to Susan. She says “I knew I wanted to be a journalist.

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I still think the absolute best way to make money is to be paid to research things, tell others and help people.” “I always thought I would be a print journalist but ended up in television news. I didn’t really understand the job differences between reporters and anchors so to my untrained eye it looked like being an anchor was the “top” of the profession. I created a vision board and a timeline to be an anchor by 30.”

and then helps structure ways to make that vision a reality. Her business guides women to make vision boards and then use cutting-edge research to design habits to bring that vision into reality. When you ask her to tell you how you got into her current profession, she laughs and asks “which one?”

“I missed that goal,” she says smiling. “I went to CNN as an anchor at 24! I’m telling you, vision boards are powerful when combined with a structure for success.”

“After leaving CNN I did a variety of things. I’m not afraid of trying new things. Recently, I’ve been ghosting blogs and social media content for people I’ve known for years. I decided to move away from ghostwriting and unattributed content creation to moving back into the public arena.

Currently, Susan works with people to create a visual representation of their vision

“I recently lost 100 pounds. I think the weight removal eliminated a lot of


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barriers (physical, emotional and mental) from being willing to put myself out there. I used vision boards and timeline structure to remove that much weight. I thought, wow if I can do this I want to help others use the visual power of working with vision boards. The visuals alone are just pretty pictures and don’t actually accomplish anything without concrete plans and a structure for support. I love the creativity of the vision board workshops and the detail-oriented, research nerd part of me loves helping others to create individualized ways to achieve their unique visions,” Susan explains. “Today, I’m moving back into the public eye 36

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with the Rochester Woman Online column called Vision to Reality and creating a new business that helps women use visuals to create and achieve goals.” “I’m also re-working my website susanrook. com. It might (or might not) be up and running by the time this article comes out,” she shrugs. A strong woman herself, she says “strong women inspire me.” “Maya Angelou had a huge impact on me when I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.”

Then she changed her mind. “I actually should change that to resilience inspires me. That can mean big and “small” struggles. I am drawn to those who are able to overcome barriers, limits, and circumstances. The stories of others inspire me to be grateful and, hopefully, help others. “‘Wounded healer’ is a phrase I first heard applied to the recovery community - where people in recovery help newcomers and so also help themselves. We all have something to teach and I for sure have LOTS to learn” Susan says with excitement. Susan is married to Billy D’Ettorre, the


{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “Today, I’m moving back into the public eye with the Rochester Woman Online column called Vision to Reality and creating a new business that helps women use visuals to create and achieve goals.”

producer of the Brother Wease Morning Show on Radio 95.1.

As for the rest of her personal life, Susan has a ton of passions.

“I’m married to the best guy for me,” she said. “Billy is a pop culture and music encyclopedia!”

“I love hanging out with my guy -- we like many of the same things so we have a good time together. He got me into baseball and now I’m a huge Mets fan and we love our

And he got her into the Guinness Book of World Records for grape stomping. “He found out about the grape stomping in the streets near the Lucy Museum in Jamestown. It was so much fun -- bare feet in the freezing cold weather (October, 2014) wading into this enclosure full of concord grapes with 1,230 other people. Our feet were purple for about a week later!” She does a lot of volunteer work but won’t talk about it. “I’m pretty private about where I volunteer because I like the vibe of: ‘what do you do when no one is watching’ but I am a strong believer in community, support, and help. I think we are much stronger together than we ever are as the sum of our individuality,” she said.

Rochester Red Wings!” She also adds “music is a huge part of my life. My in-laws gave me a Club pass to the Jazz Fest this year and I’m so excited! Rochester has amazing local musicians.” She also loves to cook and says “I love to eat -- with the weight removal I’m still cooking and eating, just different things.” Susan and Billy have four cats -- the two youngest are stray rescues that showed up at our house and then ended up inside. She says “I love our home -- it’s decorated with original art by some of our favorite comics artists, it’s elegant and comfy and I have a GAS STOVE that is fabulous for a cook.” If you are interested in being coached and inspired by Susan, she said people can reach her through facebook as Susan Rook D’Ettorre. Otherwise you’ll have to search for her at a live music event or at a baseball game or simply email her at susanrook01@ gmail.com.

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“I always thought I would be a print journalist but ended up in television news. I didn’t really understand the job differences between reporters and anchors so to my untrained eye it looked like being an anchor was the “top” of the profession. I created a vision board and a timeline to be an anchor by 30.”


{ FASHION FIRST }

DEDICATED TO SUSTAINABILITY... BY JOAN LINCOLN I PHOTOS BY NATALIE SINISGALLI

Dedicated to sustainability and a strong code of ethics allowed me to launch Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment and Panache Home. I created my 3 small businesses to make an impact in the world of recycling, re-purposing and redefining how we buy our clothing and furnish our living space. In addition, recycle a few of the quiet materials in our everyday lives. Secondhand shopping is booming, and it shows that customers are growing tired of fast-fashion, low quality retail. Bring on Luxury Resale. The trend for secondhand shopping gained momentum in the post-recession period, when shoppers were looking to be more frugal with their spending. But its popularity today isn’t only motivated by a desire to be more cost-conscious. Millennials are becoming increasingly aware of the negative environmental impact of cheap fast-fashion, and they’re growing tired of the lowquality, throwaway styles being churned out by certain retailers. Many low-quality retail companies are being hit from several sides. They have been undercut by online stores, which have reduced supply-chain times to as little as one week and are able to roll out new styles extremely quickly. It’s also losing out to rival fast-fashion stores such as Zara, which offer better 42

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quality clothing at a higher price point. There is a market for a customer that wants design and quality for an affordable price. Consignment and secondhand offer timeless products that last longer — for beyond just one season. A craving for vintage fashion has created a resurgence of ‘90s clothing in stores, with some brands such as, LEVI, Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren reviving their archive collections. Noticing that consumers were willing to spend hundreds of dollars on a pair of old Levi’s jeans in a vintage store, the denim company decided to create a new collection called Levi’s Authorized Vintage, which consists of 50,000 Levi’s jeans from the 1960s, ‘70s, and ‘80s. The jeans were priced at $300 a pair. “We were sitting on an aged icon,” said president of Levi’s in 2017.

Millennials aren’t only shopping for vintage styles in thrift stores — they’re also consigning there better goods recognizing their worth. With over 3000 consignors on board at my Luxury Resale Boutique Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment, Inc., we have worked diligently to capture the best of the luxury, couture and designer merchandise available. Earlier this month, Business Insider reported that thrift-stores are experiencing an uptick from millennials who were looking to invest in quality merchandise and donate their low quality trendy fastfashion to local Goodwill centers. One of the reasons for the influx of buying quality consignment may be because of the movement towards trendy, cheap clothing that goes out of style and quickly being donated. Many donation centers like Goodwill frequently sees fast-fashion clothing appearing six to 12 months after it launches in stores, which can make some shoppers less inclined to shop at stores that sell overly trendy, lower quality clothes. In some cases, fastfashion retailers are donating directly to these donation centers to get rid of unwanted stock. Many dedicated mall shoppers are feeling defeated.


{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

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“The trend for secondhand shopping gained momentum in the post-recession period, when shoppers were looking to be more frugal with their spending. But its popularity today isn’t only motivated by a desire to be more cost-conscious.�


So many mall stores are offering the same low quality trend, and this is frustrating to many, resulting in these products ending up in a landfill and in the trash. Fast-fashion clothing has created a big issue with waste. According to the US Environmental Protection Agency, 26 billion pounds of textiles end up in a landfill each year. The fashion business is the second-most polluting industry after oil. According to The World Economic Forum, it takes 2,700 liters of water to produce a T-shirt. OUCH!! Millennials are conscious about sustainable living and preserving the environment. They are educated on the very stylish way to shop thrift and consignment. 46

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Here are a few suggestions: Find your favorite brick and mortar, shop it often, follow the shop on social media, get in tune with their sale and frequent shopper programs, familiarize yourself with the owner and staff and when new merchandise is released to the selling floor. Become a client so you can receive calls and emails when your favorite labels arrive. It’s the thrill of the bargain hunt. This shopping mentality has helped Consignment and Luxury Resale Brick and Mortar Shops explode in popularity in recent years as customers flock when stores are maintained well, identify with fair market-value pricing and have solid business procedures in place for one-off

pieces. My suggestion when shopping resale and thrift is to go in with a different mindset, that you are not going in for something specific. The adventure and the hunt can be the most amazing adrenaline rush. Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment, Inc. Trilogy Fashion Foundry 1855 Monroe Avenue ~ Brighton Commons Rochester, NY 14618 www.panacheconsignboutique.com Today’s Posh Daily Sale! Warm 101.3 Fashion First


Every woman deserves to feel cared for, accepted, valued and beautiful. We’ve created our boudoir studio for every woman that has looked in the mirror and felt like she wasn’t enough. Pretty enough, thin enough, curvy enough, young enough - good enough. No matter where you are in your li life’s journey, our team is committed to showing you that you are beautiful and that you are enough, exactly as you are today.

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585.413.0135 | info@nspstudio.com


{{ SHIFT+CONTROL QUEEN OF ARTS }}

WHAT I’VE LEARNED PHOTOGRAPHING WOMEN BY NATALIE SINISGALLI I PHOTOS BY

“I’m not photogenic” - “I hate my nose” - “I’m really fat right now” - “I have a double chin” - “This is my good side” - “Can you get rid of all my wrinkles?” - “You’re just photographing me from here up, right?” - “I hate having my photo taken”. Nine out of ten times, when I pull my camera up to my face to photograph a woman, I hear one of these common refrains. It’s alarming to me the negative things people will say about themselves to someone they just met minutes prior. And I get it – having your photo taken is a vulnerable place to find yourself in. Really and truly, I understand. It can feel like every negative thought you’ve had and comment you’ve heard about your appearance is about to be indelibly confirmed. What I want to respond to these remarks is “You’re crazy! Stop it, you’re beautiful!” - but it doesn’t really matter what I say to the contest these comments. The woman in front of me has been building these stories around herself for years. And the worst part - these ideas have been sold to her, There are endless industries that stand to financially benefit from women believing that they are not ‘enough’. Young enough, thin enough, curvy enough, tall enough, smooth enough, flat enough – and there is a correlating product or service to “fix” all of these problems and more. Being photographed brings to the surface every insecurity that’s been ingrained for years – and the prospect of having photographic proof of these perceived flaws is just about enough to make a woman want to jump out my studio window. Luckily, this sentiment only lasts for the first minute or two of their shoot. I see every person as beautiful. It sounds corny, but I really do. I didn’t know this was not how everyone saw themselves and each other until I had been a photographer for a number of years. I would show a person a photo I had just 50

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taken of them (that to me looked exactly how I saw them when they walked in my studio) and they would exclaim “Oh my goodness... I look beautiful!” in absolute disbelief. My in-head response was “Right, that’s just how you look!”. I eventually realized the secret to my success as a photographer was my ability to employ the photography skills I had learned

posing cues. This makes the resulting photos even better, re-triggering the cycle of elation. Depending on the woman and where she is on her journey toward self-acceptance, it can be a very powerful experience to see herself this way. In a world full of negative messaging and companies purposefully making you feel inadequate, a portrait of yourself that makes you feel beautiful is proof that you are, in fact, enough. And my favorite part? The images on the back of the camera aren’t photoshopped or processed at all, so my clients can’t even question their legitimacy. Herein lies the power of portraiture. Because until women stop obsessing over how we look, tying our self-worth to our perceived appearances, and comparing ourselves to one another, we will not have the time, energy or ability to achieve our full potential in the world. Watching this transformation occur day in and day out has led me to draw some conclusions that have become my own personal truths. Here are five things I desperately want women to know...

(lighting, posing, angle and lens choices) to show women themselves the way that I see them. This is why my clients love their shoots and the resulting photos – because they look and feel beautiful. Evidence of this mental transformation is visible in their entire body from the moment I show them the first photo on the back of the camera. They become elated. They look more comfortable, stand taller, smile brighter, and become infinitely more cooperative to my (sometimes crazy)

1. No one is looking at your flaws except you. You are a moving, breathing, living person, and your personality and actions shape how people see you far more than the architecture of your face, the texture of your skin, the shade of your teeth, or the color of your hair. And sadly, everyone else is likely too pre-occupied with their own perceived flaws and shortcomings to spend even one second looking for yours. 2. You shouldn’t say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. You likely find your best friend to be beautiful, think her perceived flaws are all in her head, and value her for far more than how she looks


“I see every person as beautiful. It sounds corny, but I really do. I didn’t know this was not how everyone saw themselves and each other until I had been a photographer for a number of years.”


in the first place, right? So why would you treat yourself any other way than someone you love and care for? Negative self-talk is incredibly damaging to your own psyche and particularly dangerous when overheard by children and teens. It teaches them how to treat themselves, particularly as they age or go through other body changes. Furthermore, it reinforces the negative messages that have been sold to you by ill-intentioned industries, and results in you giving your power away to them. 3. The woman you want to look like probably wants to look like someone else (maybe even you!). The most conventionally attractive women with movie-star good looks, the ones you likely look at during your spin class and think “Wow. My life would be so much easier if I just looked like her!” have a laundry list of things they would change about themselves if given the chance, just like you. In my experience, these women oftentimes have even more hangups about their appearance - perhaps because their appearance is so frequently commented upon, it becomes one of the most central 54

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components of their self-worth. As the adage goes - the grass is always greener on the other side, and she’s probably jealous of your perfect ponytail or random other thing you’ve got going on anyway! 4. Body trends are insane. The concept itself is exclusionary considering you only get one body in this life. In my ten years as a portrait photographer several body trends have come into our collective awareness. Thigh gaps, round butts, defined calves, visible clavicles, and an obsession with upper arm fat are just a few. Most of these traits are genetic, you either have them or you don’t. What if we spent our energy trying to improve our bodies in ways that are healthy and totally within our control? Proper nutrition, strength training, hydration and other vital forms of self care will go a lot further toward making us happy and beautiful than worrying whether or not our thighs touch. 5. We can’t achieve gender equality until we start to mend our relationships with ourselves

and each other. I believe this with every fiber of my being – women cannot achieve the social, economic and reproductive equality we so desperately deserve if we are busy working against ourselves and our sisters. We are spending an inordinate amount of time, money and precious energy spinning our wheels, worrying about how we look and how we stack up to each other - thinking our appearance is directly tied to our worth. If we re-directed that same energy toward building ourselves up, as well as the women around us, we would be infinitely closer to a future where women experience equality. It’s time we take back our energy, our time, our money, our sanity and our power. Because together ladies, we are unstoppable. Natalie Sinisgalli Photography is a female run photography studio located in the historic East Ave district of Rochester, NY. They specialize in weddings, professional headshots, High School seniors, families, and boudoir photography for every woman. See their work at: nspstudio.com


{ HOT MESS MOM BOSS }

HOT MESSAGE MOMMA BY KRISTEN JOY MARTIN

In true Hot Mess Mom fashion, I’m writing my first column from the porcelain throne. The Nugget (as I lovingly refer to my 2 year old), is watching “Hell-mo” (Elmo) and I’m locked in my “office” doing all the mom and boss things. In fact, I think I’ve made more business deals and written more blogs from this thing than my actual office! Sometimes I even snap a selfie in here if the lighting is right! I’m thinking I may start a line of fold down pop up offices for bathrooms- coffee maker included, and of course, a wine fridge!

my kids play in my perfect backyard while my doting husband and I would sit snuggled up next to a fire pit wrapped up in a perfectly plaid blanket. And then came the dissolution of that dream. One- I discovered reality, two- I discovered my passion for business, women’s empowerment and about 20 other things and three- I actually had a baby. Up until then, I lived in a fantasy land that motherhood and

I suppose I should go ahead and introduce myself now that you know all about my potty life! Hi, I’m Kristen Joy Martin and I am known in the social media world as the Hot MESSage Momma! I am a wife, momma, blogger, vlogger, CEO, wannabe beauty queen, aspiring mid-size model (I guess that’s a thing now), business coach, professional wine consumer, writer, leader of weight loss challenges for women, and most importantly, I am a HOT MESS! In fact, so much so, that my license plate confirms it! My Hot MESSage Momma story began 2 years ago when I gave birth to my daughter after 72 hours of labor and was seconds away from an unplanned C section. I will save that story for another time, but just the way my daughter came into the world is also the way I spent my first year and a half of her life: stuck. A little back story... I’ve wanted to be a Momma my entire life. For the first 25 years of my life, a Momma and perfect homemaker are about all I aspired to be. I dreamt of growing a family of at least 4 children, trips to Disney World, dressing my daughter up like a fashion model every day and how we would be the best of friends. I dreamt of laughing together and watching 56

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marriage would be a dream and completely fulfill me. After meeting my husband, having a shotgun wedding and moving across the country, I quickly had to face the reality that marriage IS wonderful but hard! I was married but alone in a town that was predominantly Spanish speaking, which I’m not, so I was jobless and lonely. I found myself in a place where I was faced with the decision to either wait for life to happen or MAKE it happen. I chose to make life happen and this is where my entrepreneurial spirit was born. This is when I discovered that I was made of a lot

more than I ever thought! I opened my own spa and a couple years later, added in another business that was very successful! I had found my passion and loved who I was becoming. We eventually moved to Rochester and I have continued my entrepreneurial journey here! Now back to the part about being stuck. On April 2, 2016, I became a real life Mom. It was everything I imagined it to be except it was actually nothing I imagined it to be. It was certainly one of my proudest moments, but it was also the start of a really difficult season of my life. It’s a time that I struggle to fully remember and a season I have had to make peace with. The first month after having my daughter was actually pretty great. It was hard in many ways, but my business was booming, I could sleep on my stomach again, I could see my feet and wine was a part of my life again. It felt like winning! The good outweighed the hard and I was taking it like a champ. Then came month two, and it’s like my world just went dark. When I look back on that time of my life I just see a dimly lit version of myself. It’s like my sparkle disappeared and I couldn’t find me. I barely remember that first year and, if I’m being honest, I didn’t feel connected to my daughter for the first few months. I loved her, fed her and did everything for her, but I was somewhat convinced she didn’t know I was her mom. I remember just looking at myself in the mirror and feeling like I was looking at someone I didn’t even know. I was stuck in some weird postpartum vortex and I was trying so hard to fight through it. On top of battling postpartum depression and feeling extremely alone, I was having severe health issues, PLUS I had a very strong inclination that it was time to make a transition in my business,which was terrifying. Stuck, confused, sad, uninspired, dull and insecure would describe that season perfectly.


{ ROCHESTER WOMAN FASHIONISTA }

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{ ROCHESTER WOMAN FASHIONISTA }

Hi, I’m Kristen Joy Martin and I am known in the social media world as the Hot MESSage Momma! I am a wife, momma, blogger, vlogger, CEO, wannabe beauty queen, aspiring mid-size model (I guess that’s a thing now), business coach, professional wine consumer, writer, leader of weight loss challenges for women, and most importantly, I am a HOT MESS! In fact, so much so, that my license plate confirms it!

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{ ROCHESTER WOMAN FASHIONISTA }


{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } { HOT MESS MOM BOSS I decided to create a Facebook page called “Hot MESSage Momma” just to organize my stories and within a couple weeks I was at 10,000 followers!

After months of depression and feeling like a shell of myself, I decided it was time to write. It’s about all I could bring myself to do but I knew I could either continue to struggle and feel alone or I could do something about it. I wrote out my crazy birth story and I wrote about what I was going through, posted it on Facebook and hoped maybe it would help someone along the way. Then came the switch! My first post was such a huge hit that I quickly wrote another and then another! I was receiving message after message about how my stories were helping other struggling moms and how I made them feel normal, which helped ME feel normal! After a few weeks of this, I decided to create a Facebook page called “Hot MESSage Momma” just to organize my stories and within a couple weeks I was at 10,000 followers! After that, it 60

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quickly grew to over 50,000 followers in just my first year. It was the craziest thing I have ever witnessed! I am now at over 70,000 followers and continuing to steadily grow! It’s been absolutely healing and mind blowing to see how one of my most difficult seasons in my life has lead me to one of my best!! What’s the age old saying, “It’s always darkest before the dawn”? Well that is the story of my life and what I’ve realized now is that it’s the story of all of our lives, only sometimes we don’t allow the dawn to come. But if we can learn to recognize that beauty can rise up from our ashes, not only will we get through difficult seasons with more hope and peace, but we may even begin to bypass the pain and just dive right into our passion! My passion for women and my desire

to see them thrive in life was born out of a season that could have broken me. I can now look back and I am actually thankful for the pain because it has allowed me to help women in a way I could have never imagined! I’m so grateful for this new opportunity to share my MESSage with the women of Rochester and I hope it helps a few Mommas out there feel normal and in good company! So, that’s the very condensed story of the incarnation of the Hot MESSage Momma and yet, it’s just the beginning! But for now, I must end here as there’s a little girl, who very much knows I’m her Momma, yelling for me to bring her a snack. *flush*


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{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

THROUGH SICKNESS & HEALTH BY ANGELLA LUYK I PHOTOS BY RENÉE VENISKEY

OUR STORY OF LOVE AND TRIUMPH I have always considered myself a strong woman, I have looked death in the face and laughed. For years I battled an undiagnosable illness, that would put me in numerous comas, cause my lungs to stop working and leave me unable to work for weeks at a time. Each thing that was thrown at me medically I just put on a happy face and pushed onward. For over 20 years it would be endless doctors, new tests to run and new drugs to try. I quickly learned to just keep fighting for my rights, I became my own medical advocate. With my husband by my side, I felt like I could do anything. Eventually after enough specialists visits, I did find one who would keep me pretty stable for a few years now. Life seemed like it was going to be good again. I no longer had to put my husband through the hell of wondering if I was going to live for another week or was this going to be our last days. To triumph over my medical challenges only to be smacked down again is the worst. Seven years ago my husband Harry’s doctors noticed that his kidney functions were going down. After much testing and specialist visits, they were able to stabilize him. We were told to watch his diet, take certain medications daily and prepare for the day he may need a transplant. May being the word we focused on. For the first two or three years we would anxiously await the test results to see if his numbers had changed, as each 6 month checkup went by with no change to his numbers we became happier and happier, by year six we were getting arrogant. We believed we had dodged the bullet, he wasn’t ever going to 64

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need a transplant. While we knew he still had to avoid certain foods, and continue on his medication regiment, we really thought we were in the clear. That is until about a year ago when his kidney functions took a hit, the numbers were declining. Not too much at first, but enough that we needed to start monitoring things a little more closely. In November 2017 his numbers dropped enough to qualify us to put him on the kidney transplant list. We quickly made

kidney transplant is 5 years. Again we weren’t too worried, we had the option of seeking out a living donor. Even if we could not find a match, they have a program that allows someone to donate on Harry’s behalf, and he would move to the top of the list. All we needed to do was officially get him on the list. We spent the entire month of December meeting with doctors, running extra tests. You see every test they ran would require an additional test to rule out a complication or potential disease. We had to rule out him having cancer, or a tumor as he was showing certain signs, which could be the kidney failure or it could be the actual disease. The doctors wanted to rule everything out just to be safe. He would have to do bone marrow biopsy, full body scans, x-rays, just endless tests and specialists. I ended up creating a binder to keep it all straight. In January we received word we were officially on the list.

the initial appointment with the Kidney Transplant Team at Strong Hospital. We would spend the entire day learning about what would happen to us, meeting the team, running additional tests. Everyone was so kind and reassuring. While they couldn’t promise, they said from the looks of his numbers in the past, we would have 3-5 years before dialysis would be necessary. Great, the average wait time for a deceased

At this point we still believed we had plenty of time, but being the planner I am, I started asking for people to volunteer to be tested. The process is long and requires two phone interviews, a 24 hour urine collection, blood work, a 2 day intense medical evaluation, followed by a psychological evaluation. At any point you can be ruled out. We are allowed to send 3 people at a time for the first portion. Once one of the people makes it to the 2 day evaluation however, the other two are put in a holding pattern. We currently have one person who is a match, but is finishing up her testing and one person who is a match waiting to finish hers if the first person should run into complications. Once Harry was accepted onto the transplant list, he is required to do monthly blood work.


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“During each of our wedding ceremonies we reaffirm sickness and health. A vow I do not intend to


med our love and commitment to see each other through o break. I will be by his side through all of this.�


{ SPECIAL FEATURE } Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. To love another person through everything that is thrown at you is a gift. A gift we must cherish every day.

While we were annoyed at first, this would help us. You see his kidney functions are failing at a faster rate than they anticipated. The 3-5 years we thought we had have now turned into 3 months at best. His kidney specialist is amazed that with his numbers he is not on dialysis.

went through if he wasn’t by my side. I know as woman we are supposed to be strong an independent. We shouldn’t readily admit we would be lost without or spouses. I know

Dialysis is not easy, it takes a toll on your body and mind. Harry would need dialysis 3 times a week, and only feel better the hours after dialysis. You see your kidneys purge out toxins in your body all day long. When there is no way to rid these toxins, you feel sick. You take on a greyish or yellow looking color to you skin, you feel run down and just all around awful. Dialysis lasts up to 4 hours and then you wait till the next appointment, meanwhile everything is backing up. Your kidneys purge 24 hours a day, not just 4. For me, I think I was able to cope with all this by jumping into action and getting him on the transplant list, by actively seeking out a donor and educating people on the donor process. I needed to feel like I was doing something to help him. After all he had been my rock while I was going through my medical crisis. Day after day he would hold me up and encourage me to go on. I don’t think I could have made it through all the years of hell I

I would be ok if something happened to him, I would survive, but I can tell you I wouldn’t

like it one bit. There are days when I put on a happy face for him and pretend nothing is getting to me. There are other days where I feel like I am one small incident away from a total breakdown. I cry a lot more now than I ever have. I may start crying at something someone says, or a memory pops into my head. I just can’t stop crying, so I hide in my closet or cry into my pillow. I must remain the tough one for him. I know he is going to be ok, but I cant help but fear that something could go wrong. I don’t want to see him suffer, and I know sitting in a hospital room will be torture for him. Knowing I can’t do anything to take the pain away kills me. He has always made my life better, always putting my needs and wants first. Together my husband Harry and I have built an amazing life. This is the man who willingly married me three times, took me to Pairs, France even though he hates leaving the country. He feeds my shoe addiction by taking me to NYC SAKS every year. Harry will find these silly ways to make me laugh when I am down, he will cook me steak and lobster on a Tuesday evening just because. Through the ups and downs of growing three businesses, the 14 hour work days, the working together 24 hours a day 7 days a week, we have managed to make our marriage work.


“For me, I think I was able to cope with all this by jumping into action and getting him on the transplant list, by actively seeking out a donor and educating people on the donor process. I needed to feel like I was doing something to help him. After all he had been my rock while I was going through my medical crisis.” I am not going to say that every day is roses. We have openly sought out marriage counseling in the past, I have gone and stayed with friends for a few days to give us a break. But each time we fought, we found a way to come back together stronger than before. It’s now my turn to see him through his medical crisis. During each of our wedding ceremonies we reaffirmed our love and commitment to see each other through sickness and health.

keep pushing forward. Our new motto 23 years strong.

time. Donations can be made to https://www. gofundme.com/harrykidney

A special thank you to imaginé PhotographyRenée Veniskey for capturing so many of our special moments, when I look back on the photos she took, I see so much love. She is a truly amazing photographer.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. To love another person through everything that is thrown at you is a gift. A gift we must cherish every day.

A vow I do not intend to break. I will be by his side through all of this. I want to take him to places he wants to see instead of just where I want to go. I want to cook him his favorite meals on a Tuesday night just because. Which if you knew my cooking skills, would understand that could be a bit scary for him. I want to show him every day how much I love and appreciate him. We have both now faced so much in life together, and we just

Fund Me campaign to raise funds for the expenses that are not covered by insurance for ourselves and the donor family. Costs such as parking at the hospital, meals at the hospital for loved ones, house cleaning while recovering, transportation and lost wages to name a few. When we thought we had 3 years we were making plans to save money up, now we have months, just not enough

WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF HOLDING A GO

Angella Luyk is the owner of three local businesses, a contributing writer to Rochester Woman Online, and a published author of two books. When she isn’t busy running her empire, she is home with her husband and their 7 year old bulldog Bubba J. Want to send her some encouragement or share your story she can be reached at angella@mindightjanitorial.com.

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{ GLICKFIT GIRLS }

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{ GLICKFIT }

BY EWA HLEBOWICZ, KYLE GLICKMAN I PHOTOS BY ROB DANIELS PHOTOGRAPHY

When it comes to providing objective data about our own health and fitness, we are often our own worst enemies. With the need to constantly do more, sleep less, train more, eat less, push harder, work longer, get more done……we find ourselves thinking we’re invincible and impervious to the stressors we place on our bodies and minds. We expect our bodies to be able to adapt to chronic cumulative stress without any adverse affects to our wellness. If someone asks, how often do you tell them you’re overworked, deprived of sleep, over-trained, underfed and stressed beyond repair????

THE BEST VITAL SIGN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING AT: HRV

– HEART RATE VARIABILITY

Being reflective and honest about your state of stress if the first step to identifying your own limitations and what is holding you back from reaching your goals (in and out of the gym). The ability to provide quantitative biofeedback has shown to help control physiological responses to stress and is an effective way for athletes/clients/weekend warrior to learn how to control mental and physical responses to stress. This is NOT easy to do, and often the degradation of our coping mechanisms are masked by what we think is “normal”. e.g. tired, irritable, hungry, feeling “blah” or just making it through the day, day after miserable day. This is why ECG (electrocardiography) biosensors like a Heart Rate Monitor have been able to capture more comprehensive date about overall health, wellness and performance by measuring both Heart Rate (HR) and Heart Rate Variability (HRV). Heart Rate (HR) is an average measurement of beats-per-minute that varies by activity level, constantly increasing and decreasing depending on the demand of the body. While desired, a low resting heart rate itself should NOT be considered a leading overall indicator of heart health. Before we dive into HRV, let’s have a cardiology 101 lesson: Your heart rate has two major working systems: electrical and mechanical. An electrical impulse is sent though the heart to tell the muscles to contract and push blood out. The mechanical component you can feel (your heartbeat and your pulse), the electrical can only be measured with an ECG device ( a cardiac monitor or a Heart Rate Monitor). Below is an image of what to might see if you hooked yourself to a cardiac monitor to assess the ELECTRICAL system in your heart.

Take note of the R wave – it’s important!!!! The R wave is the first upward deflection after the P wave and part of the QRS complex. The R wave indicates ventricular depolarization aka the electrical impulse which makes your ventricles pump blood out of the heart creating your pulse. Your HR monitor will look at your “R wave” intervals (space between each R wave) to estimate your average heat rate. The higher your heart rate, the closer your R to R interval…. The lower your heart rate, the wider your R to R interval Is. Now…. What is HRV and why is it so important? Heart Rate Variability (HRV), on the other hand, is a measure of each heart beat’s variation over a period of time. The heart monitor is able to assess the very minuscule difference in R to R interval, as shown below and takes an average over a period of 2-5 minutes. SO, your HRV is an assessment of your heart’s ability to accelerate and decelerate quickly and efficiently to meet the body’s immediate needs. You want this…. You want your heart rate to increase in times of need (run away from danger or fight your way to the front of the donut line), and slow down to focus on other bodily functions (like digesting the 7 plates of food you ate at the all you can eat buffet… and/or the dozen donuts you just snatched up). ………..With us so far????? An HRV can vary based on a number of factors, but traditionally the HIGHER the average HRV means the “healthier” you are. …..And now I just lost you. BUT YES, YOU WANT YOUR HRV HIGH!!!!! BUT WHY would you want your heart rate bouncing around instead of beating like a metronome??? Well, to simplify a very difficult and almost mind-numbing concept.. you want a healthy tug-of-war between the two systems that control your heart rate (and HRV). Your sympathetic nervous system (that adrenaline you get during fight or flight) and your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) are always in a tug-of-war battle. You sympathetic nervous system is your gas pedal and is responsible for many changes including accelerating your heart beat; your parasympathetic nervous system is your brake, slowing things down and allowing for some ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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With the need to constantly do more, sleep less, train more, eat less, push harder, work longer, get more done‌‌we find ourselves thinking we’re invincible and impervious to the stressors we place on our bodies and minds.


{ GLICKFIT } Being reflective and honest about your state of stress if the first step to identifying your own limitations and what is holding you back from reaching your goals (in and out of the gym).

rest and recovery after being on the gas pedal. You want these two systems to be in a healthy tug-of-war, so they both get used and keep each other in check. What you DONT want is for them to be equal (a very boring tug-ofwar match) or even worse, trying to drive a car with your foot on both the gas and brake. We want variation in your Heart Rate, aka HIGH heart rate variability (HRV). In general, a high HRV indicates dominance of the parasympathetic response, the side of the autonomic nervous system that promotes rest, relaxation, digestion, sleep, and recovery. (GOOD) A low HRV indicates dominance of the sympathetic response, the fight or flight

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side of the nervous system associated with stress, overtraining, and inflammation (NOT GOOD when it’s chronic) NOW, the MILLION-dollar question? WHY should you care? AWARENESS. You can’t fix the problem if you haven’t identified it. A body in a state of chronic stress will be resistant to any progress you’re trying to make due to the constant bombardment of of catecholamine’s and glucocorticoids (including cortisol) which have detrimental affects on your body. Aside from the acute affects of increased sympathetic response (high blood pressure, high heart rate, high blood sugar, decreased

peristalsis/digestion), long-standing stress promotes even more negative effects. Sustained High levels of catecholamines/ glucocorticoids like Cortisol are directly linked to: • Blood Sugar Imbalance and Diabetes • Gastrointestinal Problems (including poor nutrient uptake and Decrease Secretory IgA (SIgA) which serves as the first line of defense in protecting the intestinal epithelium from toxins and pathogens) • Weight Gain and Obesity with Decreased Muscle Mass and Bone Density • Cardiovascular Disease • Fertility Problems


Heart Rate (HR) is an average measurement of beats-per-minute that varies by activity level, constantly increasing and decreasing depending on the demand of the body. • Insomnia • Depression, Anxiety and other Mental/ Emotional Disturbances So you can see how going to the gym to get your 5th workout in after a restless night which you tried to counteract with your gallon of Red Bull, will only FURTHER your stressed state. Seeing a low or downward trending HRV might be a great indication that you should take a day (or two, of 7) OFF to rest, recover, rejuvenate and relax OR start to prioritize your lifestyle to promote stress-reductio! And once you focus your efforts on reducing your stress, increasing parasympathetic tone, and bring your body (and it’s hormones) back to homeostasis you should get RESULTS! After all – That’s what you’re looking for: Weight Loss, Increased Strength, Hormonal

Balance, General Improved Demeanor, a GREAT night sleep! (Not to mention reducing risk for stress-related illness, such as cardiac problems, asthma, and diabetes). Typical HRV ]Scores (Please remember the trend is more important than an individual number) 80-90 High HRV Score 70-80 Moderate HRV Score 60-70 Fair HRV Score < 60 Poor HRV Score Want to increase your HRV??? 1. Focus on Parasympathetic Nervous System Activation: actively focus on recovering and stress reduction (yoga/medication/breathing techniques/massage) 2. Sleep More (Be an animal in bed! Preferably a Koala that sleeps 22 hours a day)

are adding to the problem (anything which causes inflammation in the gut will affect your parasympathetic system and lower your HRV). Eat a variety of macro/micronutrients from Whole Foods, Drink Water, find a good probiotic, take NATURAL stress reducing and anti-inflammatory supplements and STOP taking stimulants (energy drinks/ pre-workouts and whatever you from that guy in the supplement store). 4. Improve your conditioning, specifically by increasing your aerobic stamina. Mitochondria(the energy power plants of our cells) transform energy from food into cellular energy. Exercise increases the number of mitochondria improving your body’s ability to produce energy. The more mitochondria you have and the better they function, the higher your HRV will be.

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Glickfit is a Rochester, NY based Training and Nutritional Business owned and operated by Kyle Glickman and Ewa Hlebowicz. They are both professionally trained and have years of experience with hundreds of astonishing client transformations. Glickfit has a different approach to achieving success for their clients, and their methodology and beliefs are in creating sustainable change. By addressing all the limiting factors of someones lifestyle, we help structure the 23 hours outside the gym to maximize the benefits of your one hour workout. We believe in educating and empowering our clients to be advocates for themselves and their own health, while pushing them to be their absolute best. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not about the weigh lost, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about confidence, happiness and success gained. We always prioritize practical over optimal to ensure long-term success and we will structure a personalized program to accommodate you while still making progress. Glickfit offers both personal and womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only group strength training in a personal training studio in Pittsford, NY. We also provide online coaching and consulting for both clients and other fitness professionals interested in helping their own clients with the Glickfit Method. If interested, please visit out website www.kyleglickman.com/q and fill out the Q and A form or email Ewa@glickfit.com


{ STRATAGEM }

USING DIVERSITY TO OVERCOME GROUPTHINK BY STRATAGEM

Sometimes the most relevant advice comes from your fellow entrepreneurs, not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. At Stratagem, we know that behind every business is a person, and behind every person is a story – with wisdom and tips to share. That’s why we decided to model our business with diversity in mind, which consists of employees who share a common belief in the importance of welcoming customers from different walks of life, their communities, and each other. So what happens when you take a look at the people you spend the most time with? These are your partners, employees, your friends, family or even just your online friends list. Do you start to notice that they are all pushing the same views or attitudes? I’m sure you’re thinking, “well of course they have the same kinds of ideas and opinions as I do, I mean after all I did pick them to be in my life!” Okay, okay. So we know that most of us are naturally attracted to others that can relate to our experiences, but what you may not know (and should be leary of!) is something called Groupthink. In 1972, Irving Janis coined the term ‘groupthink,’ meaning the practice of thinking or making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility. As diverse as Stratagem is, we still have our hiccups with groupthink. Because we offer a variety of services, we tend to compartmentalize each of our departments into their own space which sometimes leads each department of our company to spend an inordinate amount of time together. When that particular department encounters a problem they tend to hit a mental roadblock and are unable to come up with different creative solutions. We battle this by encouraging each of our sectors to communicate with each other and by making open team communication a staple in our company. When we include different viewpoints and different ideas, we’re able to reach better solutions quicker and often more creatively. The differences among people impact their motives, communication approaches and 78

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perspectives. Having a diverse pool to pull ideas from can be beneficial because it promotes different points of view with different approaches to problem solving. Now take a look around your office. Is everyone just like you?

nuances and differences in doing business in foreign countries. With a workforce that understands these concepts, you create the opportunity to successfully develop your business in a global market!

Diversity in the workplace, whether racial, socioeconomic, geographic or even academic, is being increasingly, and strategically embraced among U.S businesses. As it stands, today’s workforce is a better reflection of America’s melting-pot culture, with a significant mix of genders, race, religions, ages and other background factors. In fact, establishing a diverse workforce is being recognized as one of the most productive and impactful changes an employer can make!

4) COMMUNITY RELATIONS Communities today are more culturally diverse than at any point in history! It has become increasingly important that companies acknowledge this fact and imitate the communities that they belong to and that they serve. Communities and customers seemingly prefer to engage with companies that have employees who are similar to them. A diverse workforce gives companies a true leg up in the competitive market space.

Though you may feel more at ease working with people who are similar to you, don’t be fooled by your comfort. Working with individuals who do not think, look or talk like you can allow a company to avoid the costly consequences of conformity.

5) BILINGUALISM OPENS NEW DOORS Benefits of having a bilingual office include being able to better negotiate with clients and partners who speak another language, being able to expand your customer and client base by creating multilingual ad copy, and saving money on translators, should the need arise. ¿Su oficina habla más de un idioma?

What benefits can avoiding groupthink really bring to a company? 1) IMPROVED PRODUCTIVITY Employees are more likely to feel comfortable and happy in an environment where inclusivity is a priority. Diversity in the workplace is important for encouraging workers from all backgrounds to feel confident in their ability and achieve their best. The higher the team morale, the more productive employees are! 2) INCREASED CREATIVITY A varied set of ideas and viewpoints can lead to a creative breakthrough! A company made up of employees from different ethnic backgrounds, generations, genders, races and religions (just to name a few) has more creative energy to harness than one with a more homogenized workforce. 3) GLOBAL IMPACT Being able to communicate effectively in different parts of the world is a huge advantage to any business, as well as knowing how to create relationships and understand the cultural

6) BETTER DECISION MAKING Diverse perspectives lead to better decisions! Studies show that inclusive teams make better business decisions up to 87% of the time, teams that follow an inclusive process make decisions 2X faster with half the meetings, and decisions made and executed by diverse teams delivered 60% better results. Sounds like a no-brainer! 7) POSITIVE COMPANY REPUTATION Companies who employ individuals from a wide range of backgrounds generally gain a reputation for being a good employer! Potential clients often feel more valued and consequently give more business to these organizations. When making the decision to include a diverse group of people with different backgrounds, ideas, and opinions in your life or in business, you’re not getting 360 degrees of perspective on an issue, you’re likely missing something huge – and that something could mean the difference between failure and success.


LIZA PABON (28) the founder, advit latin dancer, and college drop out. A

true believer in divergence and helping others to learn how to swim on their own.

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MAUREEN LENEHAN (24) is our youngest but brightest member, our “token millennial”. A Syracuse native and Oswego State Public Relations graduate.

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TODD GILLENWATER (47) A charismatic Rochester native and well-

liked individual with over 15 years of successful executive sales experience and never turns down an opportunity to speak publicly. Although, Todd is not bilingual some would argue his feet speak the language of Salsa, a latin partner dance from the caribbean.

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D.JAY RAMIREZ (28) is a transgender woman, also a Rochester native who practically grew up in hair salons. She is meek, thoughtful, and more than anyone has humbled us through her shared experiences.

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LINDSAY REKLAITIS (32) is a Master Colorist and Hairstylist. Attended the Harvard of beauty schools (The Institute of Beauty & Wellness). Lindsay is our diehard metalhead Wisconsonite and landed in Rochester just 2 years ago.

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THALIA PABON (37) is Stratagem’s mother goose and sister to Liza.

She has over 15 years of experience in community outreach, management and leadership. The lead singer in Rochester’s Sonidos Unidos and mother to two beautiful girls and our beloved Event Coordinator.

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CHRISTINA POMA (33) is our product maven, a military baby and a

mother to two boys and one girl that are full of life. She believes in the power of the universe and is highly knowledgeable in astrology.

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LUIS PEREZ (35) is the eye behind all of our photography, a perfectionist at

heart and a strong advocate of killing your television. Luis enjoys reading, coffee and light-hearted conversation.

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1 585 204 7974 • 627 MEIGS STREE T ROC NY 1 4620 • WWW.F OLLOWSTRATAGEM.C OM •

@F OLLOWSTRATAGEM


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What's Your Social I.D.?


{ HER EDGE }

KATIE FLAHERTY/ MRS.

ONONDAGA COUNTY AMERICA BY KATIE FLAHERTY I PHOTOS BY LAURA MARINO

I am 35 years old and I was born in Bartlesville, OK. I lived in my home state until my freshman year of high school. My mother and I made our move to Syracuse, NY when I was 15 years old. Growing up in tornado alley did not prepare me for snow that dumped several feet at a time. Now don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful that that snow doesn’t tear our home into shreds within seconds. T h a t i s certainly a plus. Currently, I reside in North Syracuse and luckily, I live very close to my job. So during winter months, I take great comfort in knowing my house is just minutes away. I certainly get picked on about it. So, I try to pull out the “Man, I had a horrible drive home” card out as much as I can. My hobbies are the following; Weight training, Zumba, swimming, riding my bike, bowling and reading books. My absolute passion and a talent that is slowly developing is playing the violin. I am married to William Flaherty and we will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary on May 23, 2018. We have 90

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been together for 12 years and we met unexpectedly which seemed like fate. Long story short, he is my best friend and I could not have gone through all of my struggles without him. Currently, I am an Associate Account Manager at Haylor, Freyer & Coon, Inc.

My volunteer experience includes but is not limited to; Northern NY Chapter Director for For a Day Foundation, ARISE Foundation Board member, dedicated volunteer at Samaritan Center, United Way Young Leader, and I was a keynote speaker at the 2017 March of Dimes kickoff event. Also, I was just recently inducted to be a member of Empire Statesman Toastmasters Club.

I absolutely love this club and it focuses on bringing the community together to help improve and support each other with our public speaking skills and overcoming the fear of talking in front of an audience. In addition to my volunteering, I currently hold the title of Mrs. Onondaga County America. I won the Women of Achievement award at the 2018 Mrs. New York America pageant that was held on March 25, 2018. I will be recompeting next year on March 31, 2019. Holding this title means so much and I have so many sponsors to appreciate. Pageantry has definitely i m p rove d m y quality of life and has also given me the confidence and strength to spread awareness about the causes that are close to my heart.

STANDING UP FOR THE FALLEN:

As a local director of For a Day Foundation, our mission is Queen & Hero for a Day. For a Day Foundation was founded in 2000 by Jenna Edwards who was a former Miss Florida & Miss Florida USA. For a Day celebrates 17 years and provides quality of life services


{ MAKING A MONARCH }

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{ MAKING A MONARCH } I am so honored to have been invited to be a part of Rochester and Syracuse Woman Magazine’s. Part of the reason that I am so excited is that I have so much to share. My mission has always been to be there for others during good and bad times.

to over 6,000 kids through 13 chapters throughout the U.S. We have received assistance and support from the Oprah Winfrey Show and People Magazine. We are committed to creating emotionally therapeutic experiences for seriously ill children - and providing them and their families with a joyful and much needed diversion from the strain of chronic treatment.

ny/news/2018/02/12/cancer-patientstreated-to-surprise-party) Please visit my For a Day page! We are

I founded the Northern NY Chapter in January o f 2 0 1 7 a n d h a ve successfully completed 2 events at Upstate Golisano Children’s Hospital in Syracuse, NY. We host “Queen for a Day” and “Hero for a Day” parties at hospitals and treatment facilities. Recently, For a Day as implemented the Young Ambassador program where children between the ages of 14-18 can be a part of our success in helping the community and making an impact on these amazing children who are the heroes in my eyes. I look forward to implementing this program into my chapter. Also, I am proud to say that our most recent surprise party on February 12th made it on the news! Here is the link so you can get see a little bit of what we do. ( http:// spectrumlocalnews.com/nys/central-

always looking for more sponsors, new toy donations and volunteers: www.

foraday.org/nothernny

BOUNCING BEYOND WHAT BREAKS US:

I am so honored to have been invited to be a part of Syracuse Woman Magazine. Part of the reason that I am so excited is that I have so much to share. My mission has always been to be there for others during good and bad times. There have been so many life experiences that have altered me into the woman I am today. There are days that I am highly frustrated with my experiences including my health. But, I know there will always be someone who has it worse. Without these challenges, I would not be as strong as I am now. I am proud of the woman I have grown to be. I look forward to sharing the obstacles I have faced that include spinal surgery, an autoimmune disease, depression, lack of selfworth, and a topic that will forever be dear to my heart but a piece of me that I have always hated. I am ready to step out of the shadows and share my story. In sharing my story, my mission is to console and comfort other women who may have or currently be experiencing the utter terror that I know so well. Also, I know that God has put me on this path so I can help other women overcome this silent struggle.


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There have been so many life experiences that have altered me into the woman I am today. There are days that I am highly frustrated with my experiences including my health. But, I know there will always be someone who has it worse. Without these challenges, I would not be as strong as I am now. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE { SHIFT+CONTROL } }

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D


D

{ LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS } BY JULIE M. MAY I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS

DORINDA PESTKE – HAIR WE LOVE

Dorinda Pestke is enthusiastic, energetic, beautiful and the owner of Hair We Love Salon. Dorinda obtained her license from the Continental School of Beauty in Henrietta 12 years ago and started working at salons locally. “I kind of knew from day one I wanted to be a salon owner,” she said. “I had all of these ideas and suggestions on how to make a salon more upscale and nobody wanted to listen to the new girl. I realized if I wanted to have control of a vision for a salon, I was going to have to create the opportunity for myself.” She started with a small salon and thought she would just work with herself and one other stylist. Clientele grew, and Dorinda found other stylists who shared her passion that she wanted to work with. Her business kept growing. Today she has six stylists and an

esthetician at her salon located in the village of Fairport. One of the things that makes Dorinda so successful is her ability to read people. “I almost know from the first minute I meet someone if they will work out in my salon. I want it to be a super positive, supportive environment and I am really good at telling in the first few minutes if a person will be a good fit for our team.” And is she good at it? In the revolving door of salon stylists, she has never had one stylist leave Hair We Love. That’s an incredible achievement and says a lot about her management style and the environment she works so hard to create for her team and her clients. We asked Dorinda what her pet peeves were about clients. We all want to know what our stylist is really thinking. She laughed.

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“I pay very close attention to what each individual desires. I want every client to feel comfortable and confident for the duration of their visit and to leave satisfied beyond his or her expectations. That’s how I got the name. I want people to have hair they love and make that happen for them.”


{ LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS } “I just love what I do and when a client loves their hair and feels terrific, I feel so gratified.”

“I guess I will start with boxed color,” she said. “Somebody buys a box of color, puts it on their head then comes into the salon and says ‘fix this.’ It’s not that we mind doing that at all. I am just surprised how many people try it at home to save some money and end up at the salon anyway.”

Hair We Love is truly a full service salon. With the addition of an esthetician, body treatments have become more and more popular. Body wraps range from Black Baltic Mud to Salt Glow and services vary by season. For example a Pumpkin Glow Body Scrub is very popular in the fall.

“We also have clients that want to direct the entire process. And we understand and are ok with that. It’s just more relaxing to have a client that walks in and says ‘I trust you. Just make me look beautiful.’”

“A body treatment will deeply hydrate, extract

Dorinda and her staff put a lot of emphasis on education to keep up-to-date with the trendiest styles. In addition, Dorinda has observed and styled models in fashion shows for charity events. 102

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Dorinda admits the salon is a huge part of her life, but it’s open for 12 hours a day to accommodate clients from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesday through Friday and Saturday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. “I pay very close attention to what each individual desires. I want every client to feel comfortable and confident for the duration of their visit and to leave satisfied beyond his or her expectations. That’s how I got the name. I want people to have hair they love and make that happen for them.”

Although she travels to Florida frequently, she says her favorite place to be is actually at the salon. “I just love what I do and when a client loves their hair and feels terrific, I feel so gratified.”

cuts, coloring, styling to full foil highlighting and keratin treatments, the salon specializes in all things hair.

impurities and enhance cellular turnover to improve skin texture,” Dorinda said. “You literally leave refreshed and invigorated after every appointment. We also do facials, waxing, we are really full service.” And there literally is nothing hair related that is not done at Hair We Love. From

To book an appointment call 585 678-4466 or learn more at www. HairWeLove.com.


your 2018 adventure is waiting!

Lake Ontario Wine Trail

ROLL OUT

THE

BARRELS APRIL 7 & 8

MAY 5 & 6

Be the first to taste new spring vintages on our trail before theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re released!

Travel the trail to find each participating location pairing a sweet treat with their award-winning wines, spirits and ciders.

Wine& Artisan 6th Annual

Festival JUNE 15

Featuring tastings from our trail, along with live music, local artisans and vendors in Newark.

Christmas Around the World

DECEMBER 1 & 2

A weekend of holiday cheer, great food, and award-winning wines, ciders and spirits!

www. lakeontariowinetrail .com Background images Š 2017 Kyle D. Meddaugh | onephotophoto.com


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{ WHERE THE TRAIL TAKES YOU }

A GREAT LAKE POURS US A GREAT WINE

Trail

LAKE ONTARIO WINE TRAIL PAIRS WITH PICTURESQUE VIEWS As Finger Lakes’ wineries continue to rival those in Napa Valley and Europe, the richness of New York state’s climate and waterways also spill north, to the Lake Ontario Wine Trail. The trail was founded in 2001 by four pioneer winemakers, to formalize their collective creations while also increasing tourism. The location not only offers the ideal pairing of a picturesque countryside with shoreline views, but also a region of rich soil and a diverse climate that makes its wine sing.

winemaker of what she calls, “The Little Winery on the Great Lake.” Thorpe offers a variety of award-winning wines from dry vinifera varietals to sweeter New World blends, created primarily from homegrown grapes. When asked how our region stacks up again Napa and the rest of the world, Thorpe said, “The Finger Lakes and Lake Ontario wine trails we do a superb job. We have a unique climate — cool with more rain than Southern California and parts of Europe. White wine, for one, is better from a cooler climate, as the coolness retains the fruitiness.”

The trail is based mostly in Wayne County, but stretches from eastern Monroe County to Cayuga County. The anchor of the Lake Ontario Wine Trail is Thorpe Vineyard (thorpevineyard.com), situated on the lake’s shore near Chimney Bluffs State Park, at 8150 Chimney Heights Blvd., Wolcott, N.Y.

Y O U N G S O M M E R W I N E RY (YSWINERY.COM) specializes in grape and fruit wines that embody the climate that clings to the Lake Ontario shoreline. It is located between Williamson and Pultneyville, in the heart of New York’s apple-growing area. The winery overlooks Young Sommer’s fruit farm and orchards, located about one mile south of Lake Ontario. Address: 4287 Jersey Rd., Williamson, N.Y.

FUMIE THORPE and her winery are celebrating 30 years of making carefully crafted wines. As owner and operator and

A P P L E C O U N T RY S P I R I T S (APPLECOUNTRYSPIRITS.COM) is a farm distillery that produces fine quality, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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fruit based spirits: vodka, brandies and cordials, and hard ciders. Started in 2012 at DeFisher Fruit Farms, Apple Country Spirits was built to help secure continued success of this fourth generation family operation. ACS offers gluten free spirits and handcrafter hard ciders made from fruit gown on their farm. It’s great place to visit year round for tastings or private parties. Address: 3274 Eddy Rd., Williamson, N.Y. EMBARK CRAFT CIDERWORKS (EMBARKCRAFTCIDERWORKS. COM) has hand-crafted hard cider using apples grown onsite at Lagoner Farms, a family farm founded in 1909. With the family members being farmers first and foremost, they focus on the quality of the apples they grow and the unique attributes of each variety to craft ciders with distinct flavor profiles, within a range from dry to sweet. The taproom (adjacent to Lagoner Farms) offers flights, pints, and bottle sales. Address: 6895 Lake Ave, Williamson, N.Y. COLLOCA ESTATE WINERY (COLLOCA.COM) is located on a 103-acre estate uncorking 900-feet of waterfront on Little Sodus Bay, an inlet of Lake Ontario in the village of Fair Haven. Home to the Lake Effect Vineyard®, planted to 100 percent grafted vinifera, the estate produces wines from grapes and other fruits grown on the property. Being lovers of big bold red wines Colloca family also sources premium fruit from Barossa Valley in South Australia, imported on the Colloca label where four wines (Old Vine Grenache, Syrah, Cabernet Sauvignon, and The Chateau) are poured and sold exclusively in their tasting room. Address: 14678 West Bay Rd., Fair Haven, N.Y. JD WINE CELLARS (JDWINECELLARS.COM) is part of Long Acre Farms, one of New York state’s oldest agritourism farms. Known for their “Amazing Maize Maze” and “Fields of Fun for Everyone” the winery adds yet another facet to the growing list of fun farm activities. From an ice cream shop and farm market to a jumping pillow, corn maze and gemstone panning there is sure to be enough activities to entertain all ages. The family friendly tasting room offers an activity area, juices and crackers for the younger members of your group and encourages you to explore the farm before you leave the area. Address: 1339

Eddy Rd., Macedon, N.Y. C A S A L A RG A V I N EYA R D S, (CASALARGA.COM) is located east of Wayne County (where the six wineries noted above are located), in a suburb of Rochester. The Colaruotolo family carries on the tradition of their father, Andrew, who started Casa Larga as a hobby in 1974, seeking to produce wine reminiscent of that of his family’s vineyard in Italy. Casa Larga’s wines have been winning international awards for 40 years. Casa Larga is home to the New York State Ice Wine and Culinary Festival each February and the Purple Foot Festival each September. Address: 14678 West Bay Rd., Fair Haven, N.Y. “We are thrilled that more and more people are visiting us” states Joan Allen, Trail President and JD Wine Cellars owner. “Guests traveling our trail are pleasantly surprised not only at the quality of the products produced, but at the beauty of the trail located basically in their backyard.”

PASSPORT EVENTS

Special passport events are held seasonly along the Lake Ontario Wine Trail and are highlighted on the website: April 7-8: Roll Out the Barrels — an opportunity to taste wines that are just being finished and prepared to bottle. May 5-6: Sweet Retreat — enjoy your favorite wine and yummy treat. June 2: Wine and Artisan Fest — summer time sampling along the Erie Canal in Newark, NY Dec. 1-2: Christmas Around the World — traditional holiday dishes paired with local wines, spirits and ciders.

ALSO ON TAP: DISTILLERIES, CIDERIES, B&BS, MARKETS

Complimenting the wineries, towns along the Lake Ontario Wine Trail are home to distilleries, cideries, and the country’s second-largest apple-growing region. The wine trail’s associate business members invite you to their charming bed and breakfasts, unique restaurants and shops, bountiful farm markets, and historic sites. Learn more at LakeOntarioWineTrail.com

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{ THE BRAINERY }

ROCHESTER BRAINERY BY DANIELLE RAYMO

While I came to the city often from my parents home in Greece, NY, I had only started to really explore and fall in love with Rochester around 2006. Typical story: Woman moves to Park Ave. during college and falls in love with riding her bike to her coffee shop job, eating breakfast regularly at Jines, and watching Lost with her boyfriend between homework assignments. Even still, I was really excited when I had the opportunity to move to New York City in 2010 with my now-husband, David, fulfilling the music theatre kid dream in me I had since middle school.

than I did the previous trip. I decided that when the opportunity arose, moving back to Rochester was something I’d like to do. In 2012 I was laid off from my job and while getting laid off had me in tears in front of a diner (true story), after some thought it seemed that the window of opportunity I had been looking for had opened up, albeit sooner than expected.

We s e t t l e d i n Brooklyn, NY and there was a lot I loved about living in our neighborhood of Carroll Gardens: farmers markets for days, the proximity to IKEA, the discovery o f m y f a vo r i t e dessert of all time (red wine prunes and mascarpone cheese from Frankies 457), a community theatre in Brooklyn Heights where I felt at home. There were more than just those things, but you get the picture. I had moved with lofty dreams of landing the same kind of Radio DJ and Promotions Coordinator position I had in Rochester, magically, in NYC. While that didn’t happen (surprise, surprise), it’s undeniable that my experience in what I did do there helped me grow both personally and professionally. With a car still in our possession, we had no excuse to miss every family event, wedding, and birthday back in Rochester. I didn’t want to, either. With each less than 48 hour trip back I found myself missing Rochester more 112

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I had, months before, discovered something in Brooklyn that combined all of my passionscommunity engagement, education, and marketing (particularly helping small businesses)- and a friend and I had been toying with the idea of opening this kind of space in Rochester. Now without a job to keep me away, it seemed like quite the opportunity to give this a go. So, we did some research and went for it. So there I was, in May 2012, in downtown Rochester getting a DBA for Rochester

Brainery. I remember snapping a photo on my phone to send to David and thinking, “wow, this is actually happening.” I moved to Brooklyn not long ago thinking I would be a radio DJ, and was coming back just a few years later as an entrepreneur. It wasn’t something I had imagined myself being, but wasn’t, and still isn’t, something I could ever imagine myself not being. My good friend Megan Mack, who I’ve known since middle school, taught our very first class everan improvisation workshop at our grand opening. Opening a business is kind of a like an improvisation class at times. Just a whole bunch of “Yes, and’s,” - things happening when you least expect it, ‘oh I needed to do that when?,’ getting thrown for a loop at times- but trying to stay on your toes and respond the best way you know how. It takes practice, and there’s room for improvement always. This was especially apparent as things started much more quickly than expected. With a lot of help, by March of 2013 we were open inside of Village Gate. While I felt I had the skills and confidence to run a business like Rochester Brainery, what I underestimated was how many hats you wear as a very small business. The question everyone likes to ask when you open a business is, “Where do you see the business in 5 years?” It’s great to have goals, but the answer can be an awkward one for a new business owner.


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{ THE BRAINERY } “So what does the next 5 years have in store? My ultimate goal, something I’m proud to say I think we’ve done, is to continue to provide meaningful community connections through the learning opportunities we provide.”

Truth be told, when we first opened we had a slow start. Side by side with the positive feedback we received were just as many people poking their heads into our storefront and saying, “What is this place? Classes? Why?” (An awkward moment when you then introduce yourself as the business owner, by the way.) While the answer was obvious to me, it didn’t seem to resonate with everyone right away. By the time word started to spread about our business it was June and people were taking advantage of sunny days soon to pass. It’s been an incredible, fulfilling, and challenging 5 years and I like to mention our slow start not to be negative about my experience – I’m really grateful for it and thankful to those who helped see us through. I mention this because so often I talk to new business owners who are surprised and caught off-guard at their first few years in business. Here’s the thing: I don’t feel like it does anyone 114

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wanting to have their own business any service to not be honest about the challenges. If I’m truthful about what my answer to that question would have been in 2013, the answer would have been, “Who knows, I’m just trying to make it to next month and perhaps at some point figure out how have a night off to see my family and friends.”

Me Ice Cream, Laughing Gull Chocolates, and Rochester Fencing Club.

But here we are in 2018, after moving into a larger space on Anderson Avenue just about two years ago.

I have the opportunity to work with and learn from hundreds of businesses and individuals, showcase local talent at Brainery Bazaar at our monthly craft show, and host lots of weekend events.

From our start at 20-30 classes a month, we now run about 50 classes per month: 1-2 each Monday through Thursday our space (sometimes on weekends), plus 1-2 a night off-site. On Tuesdays we’re at Nox Cocktail, starting in May 2018 we’ll be at Living Roots Wine & Co. each Wednesday, and we also hold classes on various evenings at The Adorned Studios, The Daily Refresher, Studio 34, Eat

In 2014 we started producing a social media marketing conference called Upstate Social Sessions as well, which will be in it’s 4th year when it takes place on October 12th, 2018 at George Eastman Museum.

So what does the next 5 years have in store? My ultimate goal, something I’m proud to say I think we’ve done, is to continue to provide meaningful community connections through the learning opportunities we provide. As long as Rochester wants to keep learning I’ll just be over here booking away and enjoying every minute of it! No awkward smiles attached.


{ BREAKING THE MOLD }

INTRODUCING CAITLIN ZIELINSKI BY CAITLIN ZIELINSKI

There are a lot of standards for beauty that come with the modeling industry; this is no surprise to many. What’s perfect for us is that it’s 2018 and there are so many different avenues to achieve fashion success. Now just about everyone can have a chance in this avant garde world. We’ve made so much room to spread and applaud our differences but occasionally the old school beauty standards come around to remind us we’re still the outcasts. Which is exactly what fuels artist’s creativity and helps us flourish even more. I’ve been modeling for almost 5 years now and I’m just as grateful for all the times I didn’t ‘fit the mold’ as well as all the times I broke the mold. It’s put me in a great position to reflect on what I stand for and what I personally want to achieve next. I’ve never felt more inspired to help others see that they too can have that same chance, in whatever they desire. I actually never thought of becoming a ‘model’ but I always knew I wanted to be famous, to finally feel like somebody important. I used to sit in front of the mirror for hours lip-syncing to Jennifer Lopez dreaming of dancing backup in music videos. I always had an interest in being behind the camera, watching old movies and admiring Marilyn Monroe. The arts always had my attention but I never gave much thought about becoming the actual art. I’m only about 5’2 and I’ve always had lots of curves to my figure, so if we’re following the ‘typical beauty standards’ this definitely doesn’t scream ‘You should be a model’. Growing up it didn’t seem that many knew how to take my appearance paired with my confidence. 116

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I was often teased for my interests and image almost as if I didn’t deserve to feel good about the way I looked. Now that I’m 25, haters are still prevalent but I’m more aware and satisfied with myself for it not to affect me. Confidence is key and I’ve achieved it. I’ve learned in the modeling industry that when one door closes there are many more to be found. If you can’t seem to find any, you create your own.

My leap into modeling was very random and very vital. My friend Michael Carnrike, an RIT Photo Graduate, photographed my first two photo shoots. After our second photo shoot I really became obsessed. I was obsessed with the way I looked, of course. I also was now obsessed with the way it made it feel. I always knew I could do it and that right there was my proof. Not only that but now all of a sudden woman I’ve never even met are commenting and messaging me to tell

me that I inspire them. I was now able to break out of my shell and find the courage to go after everything I wanted. It really is a wonderful feeling. Now you want to take that feeling and you want to make it last forever. You want to make it your career and you want to succeed and have the whole world feel the same inspiration. You need to reach more people and you need to start getting some real work to maintain your newfound passion. Many look to modeling agencies to help guide them, gain experience, be seen, and get their foot in the door. I’ve had my share of encounters with local agencies and came to the conclusion that in our area I was better off working freelance. That partially had to do with my appearance as not only am I short and curvy but I also have many tattoos. Which is strange because there is lots of work for alternative models but our area doesn’t really seem to fully embrace them when it comes to local agencies. I’ve looked into agencies in Rochester and heard many stories. I went to Syracuse to meet with an agency and actually signed with them. Nothing came of it. I got the impression they wanted girls to create their whole portfolio through paying them, I already had a portfolio, which is why I think they signed me. I never heard from them again as I’m guessing I didn’t fit any of the requirements for the jobs they we’re getting offered. Requirements similar to those I saw around Rochester as well as in bigger cities. Often agencies favor models that fit typical runway standards, taller than 5’9, a size 0-4, sometimes even 00-2 and minimal to no tattoos or body modifications. I wasn’t surprised I


{ BREAKING THE MOLD } I’ve always been inspired to find a way to help others and break molds. I started out being self-taught on all of my talents. Although it seems to have worked out for me it would have been nice to have a mentor of my own.

I never heard from them I was surprised that they wasted my time with trying to sign me knowing that they wouldn’t have any work for me. Wasted my time on not even giving me a chance to prove the rest of my worth. Which is sad to say because I usually prove people wrong when given a challenge. Just last year I tried out for my biggest runway show yet. At the casting call I wasn’t even offered the chance to show them my walk and prove my value. I just handed them my headshot and that was that. When I finally got the news I hadn’t made the cut I assumed it was because I didn’t fit those ‘typical beauty standards’ once again. Just because I’m not 5’9 doesn’t mean I can’t slayy! Thankfully I’ve made many loyal connections throughout my years that landed myself spots in the show regardless. I was very nervous since I wasn’t seen as good enough for the show, or so it seemed. A couple of my designer friends requested me to walk for them and when I got up on that stage I surely made them question themselves. I went back stage after my walk and everybody was wondering ‘Who was the curvy girl on the runway!’ It felt amazing to go from being overlooked to being applauded for how I carry myself. Not only did I persevere, but also more importantly it got people talking about how nice it was and actually requesting to see more 118

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body shapes represented on the runway. I’ve always been inspired to find a way to help others and break molds. I started out being self-taught on all of my talents.

Although it seems to have worked out for me it would have been nice to have a mentor of my own. Someone to help guide me in the right direction and give me insight to conquer at a faster pace; a

coach to give me a heads up as to how harsh some aspects of this industry can get and a mentor who can show me how important it is to push past all that. It is possible to get benefits from an agency that makes you feel at home and stay freelance. ROCMoguls is a new Rochester modeling agency whose goal is to achieve exactly this. CEO Stasiaa Marie and I have both always shared this similar dream to inspire and help others achieve. We have models of all heights, ethnicities, shapes and sizes. We embrace the diversity among us and hope to leave a precedent on how model families should be run. ROCMoguls has already booked several events and shoots around the Rochester and Buffalo areas. We feature a different model every week to highlight their successes and previous experience. Our mission is to prove that even your imperfections make you beautiful and star worthy. We want to break the mold and push industry standards. If you or anyone you know is interested in being mentored through a new kind of agency that want’s to inspire and provide opportunities for you please check out our Instagram @ ROCMoguls and send us an email at ROCMoguls@gmail. com. We are looking for passionate & hard working female models that are ready to change lives, starting with your own.


{ ALL ABOUT M.E. }

THE AGING HOO-HA BY MARY ELIZABETH NESSER

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THE AGING HOOHA AND WHY MENOPAUSE CAN KISS MY ASS!

find anything funny about women lamenting about being fat, having a dried out v-j-jay and hating their husbands. Yes, there are definite changes that occur with menopause, but pissing and moaning about the changes are not going to make them any better and I couldn’t seem to find the humor in it.

Menopause is not for the faint hearted and for the past year I’ve been struggling with the changes in my skin, body and emotions that are toying with my sanity and, for the most part, pissing me off. Things happen to our bodies that can make every day a challenge. The frustrating part of the “maturation stage” (I really hate that expression) is that it feels like you have no control over the changes. The hot flashes, weight gain and emotional roller coasters are enough to send even the strongest woman soaring off the nearest bridge. To make matters worse, there are changes in our personal anatomy that can be painful and very unsexy feeling. When KY Jelly is your best friend, you know times have changed and you have seriously graduated to that next stage. And when your gynecologist discusses the atrophy occurring in your vagina, you might as well prepare the noose. There was something quite devastating about the word atrophy being used in the same sentence as my vagina.

A few months back, I wrote an article about laser therapy for the vagina called the Mona Lisa, but there are many of us who cannot afford or wouldn’t consider putting a laser beam between our legs. So now what?

In spite of all these changes that are happening in my life, my glass has always been half full and I’m trying not to obsess over the things that aren’t perfect in my life and continue to celebrate all the good things I’ve been blessed with. Heck, I’d rather get sweaty randomly throughout the day and night instead of facing the alternative. Yeah, heat beats death. Last year I went to see Menopause The Musical in Las Vegas and I was very disappointed in the production. In fact, I thought it sucked. I heard that this musical was hilarious and that I’d have a stomach ache by the end of it. The three people I went to the show with left before it was even half way done, because it was uncomfortable listening to all the bitching on stage. I love to laugh but I didn’t

with that whole maturation stage that I have found helpful. Since the hoo-ha really does enjoy mimicking the Sahara Desert, lubricant is an absolute must. Some women approach it naturally with things such as coconut oil. For example, if you use a little bit after every time you urinate, you will be pleasantly surprised how much better you will feel in your nether regions. Other women prefer store bought lubricants like Wet, KY, Astroglide…. and the list goes on. I know there are men who don’t believe in using lubricant because it emasculates them if they can’t get their lady wet. Get over it. Let me rub some sand paper on your testicles and see how you feel. Lubricant will be your knight in shining armor after that.

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There are natural alternatives that can alleviate some of the pain and discomfort associated

Oat straw is an interesting addition to the menopausal angst that you may want to consider. It is an herb that has shown to increase blood flow and is highly nutritive. When taken internally, oat straw can jump start your libido. Woohoo – sign me up! Drink it as a tea and you will be happy with the suggestion. It can also be used in a bath to offset the discomfort of the desert that is setting up residency where you sit. You can mix four ounces of oat straw to a gallon of water, boil and then steep for four hours. Strain, drink a cup and put the rest in the tub. It should help soften and relax your lady parts. I read an interesting article by Susun Weed that had some advice I wanted to share with you. She reminds us that the stressors of life can negatively affect all of your body, including your vagina. “Don’t try to sit on your distress. It’ll prove to be a hot, itchy, prickly miserable seat.” If you are a menopausal woman, you can feel the pain and angst of that statement. But there is so much more to her message than the physical discomfort often associated with menopause. When we don’t feel good, we often project a lot of negative emotions to the world and to our bodies that isn’t doing anyone any good. I believe when you embrace your angst, you’ll be able to deal with adversity better. I love the following passage that she wrote. “Be gentle with your vagina. It is not your enemy. It is your friend, reminding you to honor your womanhood and honor your body.” As a woman who waxes vaginas for a living, I applaud her statement. I am proud to be a woman, a mom and a sexually active being. I love the reminder of how beautiful and special women are and how important it is to honor ourselves, no matter what. So are the changes in my body pissing me off? Yea, they are. But that’s not what I’m going to focus on. Focus on the good things my friends and find the strength to tell menopause to kiss your ass too!


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{ ASK THE DOCTOR }

CHIROPRACTIC CARE & WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HEALTH BY DR. SARAH TIRIMACCO

The very first chiropractic adjustment was performed in 1895, however the profession has evolved extensively since then. Today, there are more than 70,000 Doctors of Chiropractic across the United States. Doctors around the county choose to focus on family wellness, sports injuries or even geriatrics, but Dr. Sarah Tirimacco of Pinnacle Hill Chiropractic has built her practice by supporting women around the Rochester community. Dr. Sarah Tirimacco is dedicated to the health and well-being of her patients. Since graduating from New York Chiropractic College, Dr. Sarah Tirimacco has worked to educate her patients and other health care providers on the benefits of chiropractic care for a variety of complaints. Her goal is to provide each patient with an understanding of the cause of pain, an education about the condition and a patient specific treatment plan that will get them feeling better. Her passion for womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health stems from extensive continuing education and treating numerous prenatal and postpartum mothers.

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in depth patient education to help women adapt to the changes their bodies go through during pregnancy. A number of changes and associated symptoms can occur during pregnancy due to the weight gained. These include: demand and fatigue on spinal and pelvic muscles, stress on spinal and pelvic ligaments and joint stress causing vertebral and pelvic restrictions. Other common mechanical and neurological dysfunctions observed during pregnancy include: sacroiliac

Chiropractic care during pregnancy works to help restore balance to your changing body. Using a variety of low-force adjusting techniques, the doctor will help restore and maintain normal motion in the joints throughout the spine and pelvis. They will also use a combination of soft tissue techniques, nutrition, stretches and home exercises to further support and balance the involved ligaments and muscles.

Why should you see a chiropractor following pregnancy?

Why should you see a chiropractor during pregnancy?

joint dysfunction and pain, pubic symphysis pain, low back pain, sciatica, pain at the coccyx (tailbone), leg cramps, headaches, and carpal tunnel syndrome aggravated by the fluid retention seen during pregnancy.

Receiving chiropractic care during pregnancy is vital to improve normal biomechanical function in your body. Chiropractors can offer a variety of hands-on therapies and

It is recommended that women receive chiropractic care throughout pregnancy to restore normal tone to the uterus and correct the effects of neuro-muscular imbalance in

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

the pelvis. Restoring motion to the pelvis and working with the round ligament throughout pregnancy may minimize aberrant uterine tension and improve pelvic mobility. This may minimize fetal constraint, optimize fetal positioning and prepare your pelvis for an easier labor and delivery.

Relaxin is released into your body during pregnancy to help loosen the ligaments of the pelvis so that a baby can be delivered vaginally. Following birth, relaxing can remain in your system for a significant amount of time anywhere from a year following birth to 4 months following the cessation of breast feeding. This means that your muscles are continuing to work in overdrive well into your postpartum period to support your skeletal system. This extra stress on your


Dr. Sarah Tirimacco of Pinnacle Hill Chiropractic has built her practice by supporting women around the Rochester community.

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pelvis can continue to cause low back pain and sciatic-like symptoms. It is important to continue to have your pelvis and low back adjusted by a chiropractor following birth to ensure that restrictions are not present while relaxin is beginning to leave your body. Your posture is beginning to change as well once your newborn has arrived. During pregnancy your growing belly was causing your center of gravity to be pushed forward and increasing your lumbar lordosis, or low back curve. Now that baby has come, your center of gravity and lumbar curve will return to normal, but you will notice an increased thoracic kyphosis. The acts of feeding, changing and playing with your new baby will cause an increased amount of stress on your spine while you spend a great deal of time hunched forward. This forward posture can cause muscular imbalance and in turn pain and discomfort, which can cause upper back pain, neck pain and headaches. 140

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What should you do following delivery? Your daily routine postpartum is now VERY different than it was while you were pregnant. It is crucial that you are careful when getting in and out of the car, picking up the baby carrier, picking up your infant from the crib or picking up your toddler from the ground. Your goal following birth should be to maintain normal motion in your spine, strengthen your core and work hard to protect your spine while performing your activities of daily living. Incontinence, with or without exercise, is also a large concern during the postpartum period. You can accomplish these goals and keep your body safe by strengthening your core postpartum, however crunches are not going to be your go to exercise. Core strength and stability involves balance in the “core canister”. Your core canister is made up of 4 different muscles: transverse abdominis, multifidus, the pelvic floor and the diaphragm. If there is an imbalance in

the core canister you will begin to notice dysfunction, whether that be low back pain, incontinence, or a prolonged diastasis recti.

What advice would you give expecting and new moms? If you have been experiencing pain or discomfort, consider seeing a chiropractor who specializes in women’s health. Their expert knowledge will help you through your pregnancy and assist you with rehabilitation following delivery. Chiropractors also regularly co-manage their patients with other healthcare providers, such as primary care providers, OBGYNs, physical therapists and acupuncturists. Pinnacle Hill Chiropractic 1655 Elmwood Avenue Suite 235 Rochester, NY 14620 (585) 444-7325 www.pinnaclehillchiropractic.com


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{ TWENTY SOMETHING } BY CONNOR SOKOL

WHAT TO WEAR IN TRANSITIONAL WEATHER So, you wake up, one of the first things you do is check the weather app on your phone to figure out what kind of outfit to wear that day. You are ready for the spring weather to be here, but mother nature is still saying otherwise. This transitional weather between winter and spring can make it difficult and confusing to pick out your outfit! You want the weather where you can wear your flowy dresses, cute shoes, bright colors and prints, and loose blouses but it is still too cold for those faves. Fortunately, I have some tips for you. These tips will help you pick an outfit that fits this transitional weather and that outfit will keep you warm and will get you into that spring mood you’re feeling.

1. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE LAYERING.

To stay warm in weather ranging from fifty degrees to sixty degrees during the Spring, one of the best pieces of advice I can give you is to layer, layer, layer. Start off with a short or long sleeve shirt depending on the weather that day, and then layer with a jean jacket, a moto jacket, or a bomber. Elle Magazine’s Spring 2018 Trend Report says that fringe is trending (Elle.com). The perfect layer could be this Black Faux Leather Fringe Studded denim jacket from Missguided US. You can never go wrong with a black jacket and the fringe is totally on trend. If fringe is just not for you, give the classic stone wash denim jacket a chance.

2. BREAK OUT THOSE COLORS.

It is spring, and you want to start wearing those bright colors. No problem at all! A colored skirt with a longer hemline to keep those legs warm or tailored pants would be perfect. Elle’s Spring 2018 Trend Report says that lavender is trending (Elle. com). What’s a more perfect way to start getting in that spring mood than a long lavender skirt or a lavender tailored pant? If you cannot find that perfect skirt, then look for a tailored pant in lavender and vice versa. There are plenty of online stores where you can find lavender apparell. The website PrettyLittleThing has Anala Lilac High Waisted Straight Leg Trousers that would be just the pant to go for. These pants can be dressed up for a professional look with the help of a tailored white blouse and a stiletto. Also, the tailoring, the high waist, and the straight leg of the pant will be flattering on most. Banana Republic has a great selection of women’s tailored shirts that would complement these pants well. These Anala trousers can also be dressed down for an everyday look with a flirty crop top and a pair of strappy heel.

3. WHITE IS THE NEW BLACK.

White denim is perfect for transitioning your look from season to season! Its light color provokes the feeling of spring; light and airy. The denim will also keep your legs warm on chillier spring days. ASOS is one of my favorite online stores because it has petite, tall and curvy sizing. Many styles of white denim are available from skinny to boyfriend. This makes it easier to find the right white denim for your body type and personal style. One of my favorite new trends are pants with distressed or raw ends. The Hepburn Crop Wide Leg Jean with Raw Hem has raw ends and they introduce a fresher take on the usual skinny jean. The Vero Moda Super Skinny Jeans with Ankle Zip also freshens up the usually skinny jean with the addition of a zipper. With so many choices of white denim out there how could you not add it to your wardrobe? I’m a huge fan of mixing colors, textures, and prints when it comes to putting outfits together with white jeans. The white denim could be paired with a shirt that has a square neckline to stay right on trend for Spring 2018. I think that everything from neutrals to bright colors and prints work well with white denim. White is like a canvas for you to build your outfit on. Look for shirts similar to Express’s Square Neck Puff Sleeve Blouse it is on trend, is definitely a pop of color and can really create that transition outfit.

4. STUBBORN AS A MULE.

To pull the whole look together you need a killer shoe! A mule, stiletto, or boot would be an ideal accessory for white denim. However, you are not limited to those options, I think it’s safe to say that pretty much all styles and colors of shoes can work with white jeans if you style them correctly. But for the transition from winter to spring, neutrals may be best. A Cosmopolitan report says that mules and platform heels are trending this Spring 2018. Mules are backless, and they slide right on! Want a simple but eye-catching mule? Check out the RAID Karin Black Multi Tassel Flat Mules. Another option is to wear a pair of mules that are going to be the statement piece of your outfit. Dazzle with a pair of KG BY Kurt Geiger Ollie Unicorn Print Pointed Flat Mules. As always ladies, be confident, look cute, and empower each other. Carreon, Justine. “ELLE.com’s Comprehensive Guide to Spring 2018’s Biggest Trends.” ELLE, ELLE, 8 Mar. 2018, www.elle.com/fashion/trend-reports/g12205305/ spring-fashion-trends-2018/. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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{ {TWENTY {TWENTY SHIFT+CONTROL SOMETHING }} } SOMETHING

HOW TO FIND YOUR PERSONAL STYLE

“My favorite part about working in bridal is the unique opportunity to help women feel beautiful and let their inner goddess shine.”

BY AMANDA SCOTT

1. FIND INSPIRATION.

Go on Pinterest or Instagram or flip through some new magazines. Find stylish icons that you want to take inspiration from. What pieces do you think are cool, what makeup looks, what hair looks? Note it down and develop how you envision your look.

5. GET RID OF THE EXTRAS.

If you don’t wear certain items in your closet, and don’t plan to, take a trip to Plato’s and exchange them for some quick

6. ACCESSORIZE.

Jewelry, bags, shoes, and other pieces add to your look and develop the outfit as a whole.

7. CONFIDENCE IS KEY.

2.PICK THE CATEGORY.

Most of all whatever you wear, you need to be comfortable and confident. Don’t wear clothes that don’t flatter you or don’t fit in with what you genuinely like.

A way to narrow your style is to find your “label”. Classic? Modern? Bohemian? Trendy? Grungy? Find which style matches you the best and follow those fashion trends within that category. This will also help you clarify your look.

8. KNOW THYSELF.

3. TAKE PHOTOS.

Going along with confidence, trust what makes you feel good. Don’t worry about what other people think. Rock what makes you feel unapologetically you.

4. FIND YOUR SIGNATURE.

Some good questions to ask yourself to find your style:

Be sure to snap photos of yourself in these looks and save for future reference to inspire your true style.

All fashionable women own a signature item or two that becomes part of their style identity. Is it a red lip? A certain color? A certain piece? Find what makes it your signature accent or look or piece. Audrey Hepburn had her cropped pants and ballet flats, Jackie O. had her oversize sunglasses, and Edie Sedwick had her statement earrings and mod minis. Some people have a red lip. 144

Basics are a necessity to build outfits, but you do not need 3 of the same exact shirt in the same color.

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1. What colors are mostly in your closet right now? What colors inspire you? 2. Do you like to make statements with your look or stay in the cut? 3. Do you like to try hard or roll out of bed? cash or donate them. Also, if you notice you have multiples of the same type of item, narrow down to your favorites.

4. Does your look fit with your lifestyle?


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{ FROM FOODIE TO FIGHTER }

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH BY JULIA ANTENUCCI

WHAT TO DO IN THE FACE OF SETBACKS March was a dud for me boxing-wise. Quite appropriately, I came down with one of those irreconcilable colds in the middle of March and I couldn’t so much as raise my head off of my pillow. For most of March, I reluctantly resigned myself to the confines of my squishy couch, hoping tomorrow would be the day I would be able to return to my beloved punching bags.

until something holds us back or stops us completely. And even when we get the green light to keep going, the daunting stamp of failure can stop us. A few months ago, I it would have been

So, what did I do when I wanted to quit? What can you do? Here are three tips that work for me:

1. Just. Show. Up.

What’s the hardest part of any difficult task? For me, it’s getting started. You can’t get started if you’re not there. If you want to be committed to something, truly committed to the ebbs and flows of the process, just show up. The things we are afraid of are more daunting in our minds 99% of the time.

But no such luck. I wasn’t able to get back into the swing of things until the end of the month. Returning to a highintensity exercise after being out for the count for so long is nerve-wracking for a perfectionist like me: my agility waned, and my combinations felt fumbled. Even my wrists ached in that beginner kind of way when faced with the impact of the bag. Though it was only a 30-minute class, my first day back winded me. I felt overly aware of my body as it moved, and I could feel my internal choragus chanting the failures I had incurred while being out for so long. But this is what life is like. We struggle, try, triumph and excel, feeling unstoppable 146

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And the magic of it all? You can carry it everywhere. Whether you’re boxing, changing your career or strengthening your personal relationships, having a mindset that moves you forward in the face of setbacks is crucial.

2. Whether you keep going or not, know that time will pass either way.

easy for me to stop boxing. Excuses, after all, are easy to come by. But on my journey to becoming a fighter, I feel my mental fortitude strengthening.

It took me two years to start a blog. Why? Because I claimed that I couldn’t come up with a good name for it. The truth was that I was afraid that I wasn’t skilled enough, wouldn’t be able to do it right enough. Now that I’ve built a successful community and am being compensated for my efforts, I can’t help but wonder where I would be now had I just acknowledged my fear and charged forward anyway. This


{ FROM FOODIE TO FIGHTER } We struggle, try, triumph and excel, feeling unstoppable until something holds us back or stops us completely.

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anyway. This has helped me immensely with boxing: whether or not I choose to show up, time will pass. In a month from now, I can either be in the same place (out of shape, self-conscious about being “good enough”), or more agile, confident and fierce. That part is up to me, and I’m choosing the latter.

3. Remember your why

Why am I doing this? Because I want to feel strong, I want to feel confident, 148

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and I want to remind myself and others that our bodies are more than just something for others to look at and appraise. Remembering the “why” of your goals and checking in with yourself frequently is crucial for keeping up any habit in the face of a setback. Will quitting help move you closer toward your why? Spoiler alert: it won’t. It never does.

Using these handy personal tools, I’m back moving toward my goal of becoming a fighter. I’ll admit that I’m proud of myself. I hope you make yourself proud, too. By the way, if you’re looking to be fierce/ fit AF and want to try out a membership at Title Boxing Club with me, they’re offering a three-month membership with UNLIMITED classes. Check out their site for more details.


{ ROCHESTER DRINKS }

THE FACES OF JANE WALKER BY JASON PEARCE

The iconic Johnnie Walker striding man has graced every bottle of the world’s best selling scotch since the symbol was created over 100 years ago. This spring local stewards of the brand will partner with the America’s best bars, restaurants, liquor outlets, and service professionals to unveil the Jane Walker Edition of the ubiquitous Johnnie Walker Black Label Scotch. The whisky in the bottle has not changed, but the packaging and branding replaces the original striding man with the updated striding woman, Jane Walker, as a celebration of female empowerment. Johnnie Walker will donate $1 for every bottle of the Jane Walker Edition made (up to $250,000) to Monumental Women, to erect a statue of suffragettes i n Ne w Yo rk’s Central Park, and to She Should Run, to support women seeking election to public office. Locally, Tiffany Benning recently participated in the Ignite Awards celebrating women business owners in Western NY and Wende Savitch plans to support women’s rights events in Seneca Falls, NY celebrating the history of women’s rights leaders, abolitionists, and social justice reformers. Pictured here are some of the dynamic local professional women who embody the spirit of Jane Walker as part of Johnnie Walker’s progressive efforts, tagged “Keep Walking America”. For most of our lives liquor, specifically whisky, and especially scotch whisky has been portrayed in popular culture as the 150

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domain of men. Businessmen in suits like Don Draper had come to represent cocktail culture. Images of good old boys sipping Tennessee sour mash or football fans tailgating with a bottle of Crown Royal are commonplace, while female characters are often shown sipping brightly colored vodka cocktails, glasses of wine, or flutes of champagne. Research shows that women now make up about one third of all whiskey drinkers. While the beer industry still seems

to still be a boys club to a large extent, the wine and spirits industries have benefitted from an influx of women at ever level. Female leadership has played a large part in the modern revitalization of the entire hospitality industry. Forward thinking and “forward drinking” (the slogan of the Rochester chapter of the USBG) cocktail culture has resulted in more and better opportunities for female distillers, blenders, executives, brand ambassadors, sales people, bar owners, restaurateurs, and world class bartenders to educate all of us about spirits and cocktails, and to influence what we choose to drink.

The recent cocktail revolution around the country has changed what American’s order when we step up to the bar. RWO readers will have ample opportunities to see this for themselves during the fifth annual Rochester Cocktail Revival scheduled for May 1-6 at various high energy venues around the city, including the seminar “Women Behind Bars” by craft cocktail movement leaders Lynnette Marrero and Meaghan Dorman May 2 at Bar Bantam, one of the world’s best bartenders Chris Cardone hosting a four course dinner featuring Tanqueray No. 10 gin, Ron Zacapa rum, and single malt scotches Oban and Lagavulin at Cure on May 3, plus a Glenmorangie dinner at Good Luck May 4, a Nolet’s gin and Ketel One vodka Kentucky Derby bar-b-que at Daily Refresher May 5, and a Veuve Clicquot champagne brunch at Revelry May 6 before the “Bar Room Battle Royale” at Radio Social. Look for the Jane Walker team at RWO “Diva’s Nites” this Spring and get a free sample of this delicious scotch. Next time you visit your local liquor store ask for Jane Walker. Invite scotch lovers or guests who may be new to scotch over for a visit. Pour yourself a glass of whiskey neat, or choose one of these Jane Walker inspired cocktails. Finally, raise a toast to all the amazing women in your life.


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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M

{ LOOKING FOR A NEW CAREER } BY JENNIFER CASASANTA

Real Estate is a ‘REAL’ Career

The field of real estate has often been overlooked by college graduates, entrepreneurs, career builders and displaced professionals as well as stay-at-home moms and semi-retirees, all seeking a full or parttime position, career or business opportunity. Why? There are several reasons beginning with the fact that the barriers to entry have always been quite low. A formal degree is not necessary nor is a large financial investment so one might question how credible is a career in which a great deal of time and money is not required. Neither is extensive training or a variety of skill sets, and yet you get to own your business right from the start and you don’t have to struggle to get to the top. Real estate companies and offices are visibly everywhere independently seeking new recruits so there is little to no demand for recruiters to research, interview and screen qualified prospects to fill sales positions not related to the traditional corporate world.

So if a position for a sales professional for a real estate company is not on a recruiter’s menu, how are excellent candidates seeking a unique career opportunity to know what positions are available as well as the benefits. Unless realty companies are actively recruiting and interested individuals are looking in the right place at the right time to attend an informational workshop being offered, there is little known about the mysterious real estate industry. Actually real estate is not a mystery at all considering it’s one of the hottest topics on the planet and great conversation no matter where you socialize. Most everyone wants to buy or needs to sell a home at some point. It begins with a buyer’s purchase of their first home, to moving up as their family grows and before children begin school then down as children leave home destined for college or a new adventure. It’s at this point that the parents, finally and maybe for the first time, can choose housing that allows them the amenities and luxuries they compromised in exchange for the square footage they needed when the children were young. Homes are on the market in every town as displayed by the real estate signs that go up on the front lawn. Curiosity drives conversations about home values in the neighborhood and the compatibility of the new buyers while children hope for new playmates of similar age. Sunday open houses make available the opportunity for neighbors to shop or compare their home to the one being marketed and maybe get some decorating ideas. Getting back to the career aspect of real estate, it is a ‘real’ career, and I am living proof. I graduated from RIT with a bachelor’s degree in business administration and focus on marketing just as interest rates were about to peak at 19 ¾%. I knew nothing about real estate other than the home I was raised. As far as I knew, a home was just a home. We never called it real estate and my parents owned no other property. To me home was shelter and a safe gathering place to sleep, enjoy meals, watch television, conduct chores, celebrate holidays and run around exploring the neighborhood. I always knew we were very fortunate to have our own home, and I took pride in my surroundings making whatever contribution was required of me ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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in return for my slice of ownership. Upon graduating from college and while still uncertain of next steps, I met a developer who was building a new home community. He suggested I get my real estate license and offered me the opportunity to sell his new homes. Having never previously owned, sold or built a home and with no ‘sphere of influence’ to access and assist me in growing my business, I treated my newfound profession respectfully by going to work everyday even though I punched no time clock. Within a short period of time, I was averaging sales upwards of $700K in one month and was soon recognized as ‘Rookie of the Year’ for the largest real estate organization in Rochester, at the time. Two and a half years later I opened my first real estate company and in 1994 I created Magellan®, Inc. Real Estate and Relocation. What excited me about opening my own company was the ability to create a real

estate model that I wanted to work for. I also wanted to provide real estate agents a new model that, unlike the larger traditional models, offered them a boutique-style office setting and one-on-one mentoring, specialized training, proprietary sales and marketing techniques, time-management tools, continuous admin support and a company culture that would allow them to thrive and reach their full potential in a short period of time. I don’t teach from textbook. I teach from real life experience, and I think that is extremely important to new and seasoned agents looking to differentiate themselves from thousands of other agents and both build and win more business. I’ve been in the real estate business now 37 years this October, and I am still as passionate about the industry as I was the first day I entered it. For the right

candidates, there exists an unbelievable opportunity to create a purposeful career with tremendous income potential and a balanced personal and family life. I raised 4 children while growing my business and I did so successfully rarely, if ever, missing my son’s soccer games and as the girl scout leader of my daughter’s troop, I never missed a meeting. What’s next? We are expanding our Rochester office and are currently recruiting individuals who fit the company culture and are committed to growing the organization to its full potential here and across the country. If you are looking to buy or sell a home or would like to learn more about a career in real estate and/or the benefits of working with Magellan®, Inc. Real Estate and Relocation, please contact me, at 585.233.6111. erican Journal of Epidemiology. 135 (1): 59–67


Magellan®, Inc.

Real Estate & Relocation

LOOKING FOR A NEW CAREER? • Empowerment • Education • Expertise • Execution

Reach For Your Potential! “Success is knowing where you’re going, how to get there and when you’ve arrived…” - Kimberlie Barrett, President, Broker, Owner Magellan®, Inc. is an independent, locally woman-owned, real estate firm backed by 36 years of experience serving the Rochester market. and we donate 1% of company profits to community service projects locally.

Contact us today at 585.233.6111

Get To Know Us!

Local • Homeownership • Community Magellan®, Inc. Real Estate and Relocation ● 1485 Monroe Avenue in Brighton, NY 585.325.3990 ● 1.877.3Magellan ● www.1Magellan.com


{ WHEN I GROW UP }

WHAT DO I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP? BY PAM WERTS

I can’t even believe how many times I have asked myself this. I am even more disturbed by the fact that I continue to ask myself this to this day. What DO I want to be??? I wonder when I will be “grown up”???? It certainly seems like an achievable goal and yet it alludes me. What IS grown up anyway? How do you know you’re grown up? Is there a certificate? Is it like Publisher’s Clearing House? Do they show up on your porch, with balloons?!! I hope I get a HUGE carboard certificate! Telling ALL that I AM GROWN!!! FINALLY!!! Aren’t we all just little kids running around in adult bodies, hoping to find someone who knows what the heck is going on? I know I sure hope to find that person. I have a lot of questions. As I grow wiser, I realize a few things. In my 20s, I was convinced I knew it all, by my 30s, I realized I didn’t know much of anything at all and by my 40s, I began to care less about the things that once were SOOOOOO important. As I enter my 50s, I care even less and it is exhilarating and liberating. At this rate I’m going to be 80 years old and heading to Spring Break, possibly doing keg stands, depending on my hip. I am constantly reevaluating what TYPE of person I want to be. I want to be a good person. Kind and all that crapola, but I can never fully shake the desire to throatpunch annoying people. Further, I watch ID Discovery like they are writing me to checks to do so. That is the True Crime Discovery Channel. And it is ALWAYS the really NICE people that get killed. They’re always SO kind and generous. I figure I don’t want to be THAT good. I want to fly somewhere under the radar. That being said, every time I help an old lady across the 156

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street, I make sure I push a little kid down. After all, it’s allllllllllllll about balance, right? I never had the desire to have children so I did not. Many have questioned that decision. NONE more than my Italian mother. My stand has always been, if you can’t be ALL in, you probably shouldn’t, so I didn’t. It’s not a choice I regret, especially when I hear my friends talk about how their entire weekend will be spent traveling all over for some sports team their kid in on. I am fairly

certain the gates to my Hell would open up to Chuck E Cheese. It wasn’t until a young woman I was friends with, whom had a mother that died, asked me if I would be her mom that I embraced that “role”. Are you kidding me? She was 28 years old, had been to college, had her own car, her own place and her own insurance!!! She’s the daughter I have ALWAYS wanted! Heck, if they could come out at 28 fully functioning without my support, with their own place, I would have had NINE of them! She’s a beautiful young lady and I cannot wait to pressure her to make me some grandkids someday, ya know, like a REAL mom.

I think what we want to be changes as we learn through experiences. That doesn’t mean that I DON’T want to tour with Bon Jovi, but it has moved down my list. Now, WHO I am is so much more important to me than WHAT I am. I’ve learned things aren’t black and white. That there is a great deal of gray matter involved, or not. Pun fully intended. I always was in awe of those people that just “knew” what they wanted to be from childhood. I’m not going to lie. I am probably a tad jealous of them. They knew. I, on the other hand, was too busy losing my glasses and retainers. I will never forget my first job. On my sixteenth birthday, my father picked me up from school in his 1967 Sting Ray. I was THRILLED! FINALLY, a really COOL present!!!! I got in my soon-to-be corvette as he drove. We pulled up to McDonalds and I thought, “Stellar!!! A car AND a Big Mac!!!” As we walked to the counter he introduced to the manager and told him it was my birthday. I felt SOOOO important!! Then he told him that we needed an application and my Super Sweet 16 sunk into my spending the night in an ugly, brown polyester uniform, learning to ask, “Would you like fries with that?” as I watched my father leave in what was supposed to be MY birthday present!! I suppose I am like most of us. I am still figuring it out. I am still waiting for that moment when I am “grown up”. Until then, I am going to stay open but, the MINUTE I see an opening for a six-figure position that requires me to roll around on the floor with puppies, has a supply closet like my kindergarten teacher and requires wine at four, I will finally know EXACTLY what I want to be, until then, I will just keep dreaming. I hope you do too.


{ READS & WRITES }

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BRANDON VICK BRANDONVICKPHOTOGRAPHY.COM


{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE }

SHARPEWEAR BY SEDAWNIE WILLIAMS

My Business Sharpe Wear is a Plus Size Clothing Line /Movement that was created back in 2013. I started Sharpe Wear because I wanted to start a Brand that not only make Plus Size Women look good but also feel good as well. Society puts Plus Size women in a statistics based upon our weight to the point some Plus Size Women see FAT as something negative. Sharpe Wear is to change all of that, I want to take that word FAT and make it into something positive. Sharpe Wear is a movement that represents unity, self love, sisterhood, confidence and sexy. No judgement only upliftment but the clothes will make the world see all your Plus Size Magic! Sharpe Wear is also a clothing line to put out there that Plus Size Women can be sexy too. From the everyday woman to the woman always on the scene, Sharpe Wear will have you looking your absolute most fabulous! Sharpe Kidz is more than a Brand for kids but a movement to show our kids that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ok to be different, and to stand up for what you believe in. We need to encourage our kids to be leaders and not to be a follower. Society are attacking our children with guns, drugs and so many other things. We are raising young King and Queens, we have to bring out out the royalty in them!! If you want to order Sharpe Kidz clothing please inbox, call, or email me. Also Follow Sharpe Wear on FB, Instagram, and Snapchat... https://www.facebook.com/ SharpeWearPlusSizeClothing/ You can follow Sharpe Wear and see all its clothing on FB, Instagram and SnapChat. Customers can place their orders by email sharpewear2013@gmail.com or by phone (585) 310-2869 160

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Providing better smiles to Rochester, Webster, Greece, Fairport & Nearby Areas of New York.


{ IN HER DEFENSE }

SAFETY-WHAT’S THE PLAN? BYDEBORAH GALLO

This recurring column by Dave Jenkins of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC will explore different areas and methods of personal protection and self defense. Topics will range from using specific tools, techniques, or even yourself and your mind as the weapon. The goal is to create a more aware and safer you! Questions or suggestions are welcome! Deborah Gallo, is a trainer with the Women’s Training Division for Rochester personal Defense, LLC and LionsPride Training Group. We can all agree that when it comes to safety in all the things we do, a plan is critical. You’ve probably discussed with your family exiting the home in the event of a fire. You have done drills at work and school. Any family members playing sports have the appropriate equipment. The next question is what about your personal safety and that of your family. Are you relying on not being alone? Or the kindness of a stranger if you scream. Our sad reality is that the strangers are more likely to use their phone to video an incident, than to actually call 911. It is even more unlikely, that they will place themselves in harm’s way. The recent events of finding the attacker psychologically able to stand trial in the 164

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Brockport murder last summer makes us think about what is our plan. A rural community, just quietly sitting in one’s car having lunch before returning to work, paints a picture of tranquility. Sadly, that is not the reality. So? What’s the plan. You mean you don’t have one? We have all planned for fires, and fortunately, that is a smaller statistic. You are not reasoning with your attacker.

You need to have technical self-defense skills and a discussion with your family. What those skills and tools are, is up to you. While you are having the discussion with your family consider how most people in the dating pool are meeting. Now more than ever, websites and apps are being used to find a match. Little is known about the proposed date, other than what is available online. In an effort to get to

know the person, many personal facts are exchanged. This results in heightened vulnerability. Why are women targeted for violent crimes? Women are targeted for the obvious reasons: assailants believe that women are more passive, will not fight, and be compliant; women are often physically weaker than a male assailant is; and may already be distracted by children and/or packages. It should also be noted that according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, almost 80% of the assailants of sexual violation were partners, family members, and friends. The women that survive these incidents are not fearless. They are prepared. That preparation ranges from being physical fit and learning some basic hands on skills to adding the tools of pepper spray, kubatons, knives, and firearms. The University of Oregon College of Arts and Sciences reported that women who took a ten-week self-defense training were significantly less likely to experience unwanted sexual contact than those who did not (2013). After a life lead with the rule that “you don’t hit”, you may find yourself feeling conflicted. But, I urge you to get the skill


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{ IN HER DEFENSE } What is body composition? ‘Simply put, it is what your body is composed of! Looking at the ratio of body fat weight to lean weight and how that begins to shift is much more valuable than stepping on a scale.

and tools that you need. A hands on self-defense course will prepare you for the many things that can happen, how to respond and techniques which can put the odds back in your favor. An attack will be fast, close, and violent – the attacker’s adrenaline will already kick in. If you have trained, you will have experienced some of the likely methods of approach and may quickly react with a conditioned response versus freezing. Training will also heighten your situational awareness in your everyday life. Situational awareness is not merely looking around. You must actively be connected to your surroundings and be making momentto-moment assessments. For those places that you frequent regularly, you should be aware of the areas that have heighten risks: dark parking lots, poorly lit exits to buildings, hiking and walking trails, etc. You should avoid dangerous places and people. You must trust your instincts – if you are uncomfortable, it is for a reason. Take the time to listen to your gut, and take evasive action and create distance. It is no shock that if your eyes and head are focused on a cell phone, you are very unlikely to be making those assessments.

If you are listening to music, you have removed one of your senses that can help you anticipate a problem. Do not give potential assailants the opportunity – do not make yourself a good target. There will likely be some indicators from the assailant – getting too close to you physically and testing your boundaries; staring too long to see your reaction;

dark clothing or clothing that is not weather appropriate; looking around for potential witnesses or lack thereof. Perhaps the assailant is just standing and waiting too long or just does not fit in to the surroundings. Personally, I have found training to have a domino effect. The more that I try, the more I am willing to try. I have had the opportunity to physically fight off an attacker, to practice pepper spray

usage, practice knife skills, and reality based firearms training. My hope and expectation is that I will never need these skills, but that I am prepared and have a plan that I can effectuate. I am continually building my skills and muscle memory. Additionally, I can share the knowledge with family and friends. Danger may be lurking, but, it will be met with the experiences and training that I have now. I urge you to start building your plan. Speak with your family and friends. Replace the fear, with the faith that your skills are always with you. Deborah is one of the trainers for the Women’s Training Division of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC and LionsPride Training Group. Her goal is to educate and train as many women (and guys too!) on what they can do to be safe, protect themselves, and be independent! Dave Jenkins is the founder of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC, Rochester’s personal protection experts. Come join the other women that have learned how to be safe, keep their family safe, and how they became their own bodyguards. You can reach Dave and his team of instructors at www.rochesterpersonaldefense. com or 585-406-6758. You can even email them at rpdllctraining@rochester.rr.com


{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }

OH, YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL! BY TERESA A. GALBIER, PRESIDENT/CEO, ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION

“Oh, you’re so beautiful…..While growing up, hardly a day went by that my mother, Beatrice didn’t tell me this. She taught me confidence, kindness, and perseverance until Alzheimer’s took her life at the age of 74. When I decided to start a medical aesthetics practice, I named it after my mother, Beatrice Cecile, to honor her life. And I made a commitment to support the Alzheimer’s Association.” -Dr. Elizabeth Hughes, daughter, mother and owner of Beatrice Cecile Beatrice was a woman of conviction, strong opinion, independent, welleducated and, most of all, gracious. In 2004, when she was only 68, the family began to see changes in her. Over the next two years, she continued to decline and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. By 2006, her disease had progressed to the point that it was taking a tremendous toll on her husband. This beautiful, gracious and happy woman had now become combative, frightened and angry. Elizabeth and her family reached out to the Alzheimer’s Association for support, sometimes in the middle of the night, when they had no idea how to respond to their mom’s difficulties and challenges. Mostly, they wanted to make sense of what was happening to their beloved mother and grandmother. “I remember 168

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as if it was yesterday,” said Elizabeth. “The compassion, the patience and understanding of the people on the other end of the phone. In 2006, two years after she was diagnosed and three months after entering a nursing home, my mother was no longer able to eat and drink and passed away.” During this time, the entire family was impacted by the slow fading-away of their matriarch, until she eventually lost her battle to Alzheimer’s, a disease that, today,

cannot be cured. Beatrice’s household had always included love and laughter. But, when Alzheimer’s became a part of her daily life, the dynamics with loved ones changed drastically. Her husband became a daily target of Beatrice’s rage. Her family found themselves at their wit’s end, screaming at each other, saying things that were hurtful, causing each other pain. All of this, brought on by

the incredible stress and anxiety that Alzheimer’s had wrought on their once loving, happy family. After Beatrice passed, Elizabeth believed that she could make a greater impact for her family, her community and, especially, other families affected by Alzheimer’s disease. So, at the age of 40, she left her sales and marketing position and went back to school to pursue a doctorate in nursing. Over the next nine years, she was to become a certified nursing assistant, working at a local hospital in order to support her ability to continue her postgraduate studies, eventually earning her doctorate in nursing. In the fall of 2017, Elizabeth and her s i s t e r, K a t h l e e n Alfano, approached t h e A l z h e i m e r ’s Association with an idea. They wanted to open a medical aesthetics practice, a thoughtful way to honor their mom’s legacy of reminding her daughters and all women that they were beautiful. They would donate a portion of all of their sales, they said, to support the Rochester & Finger Lakes Chapter and serve those impacted by Alzheimer’s in our community. The Alzheimer’s Association was honored to accept the offer and worked closely with Kathleen and Elizabeth to develop the marketing materials needed to promote


{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } “If you own a company, no matter how big or small, think about ways you could turn its success into helping support the Alzheimer’s Association. Together, we can make life with this disease a little bit more beautiful.”

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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } Beatrice was a woman of conviction, strong opinion, independent, well-educated and, most of all, gracious.

the opening, Alzheimer’s Association’s brochures and purple swag greeted visitors as the sisters celebrated this new, Brighton-based business. Elizabeth and Kathleen remembered how the Alzheimer’s Association had been there for them years before and this was their way of saying thank you. In addition, the Alfano and Hughes families remain hopeful that, one day soon, an Alzheimer’s breakthrough will be announced. They continue supporting two pillars of the 170

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Alzheimer’s Association’s mission-- the care and support services and scientific discovery. Their dream is that their children will not have to experience the devastation that Alzheimer’s caused to their mom and dad. Elizabeth would like to share the following message with any entrepreneurial woman who may be reading this. “If you own a company, no matter how big or small, think about ways you could turn its success into helping support the Alzheimer’s

Association. Together, we can make life with this disease a little bit more beautiful.”


Rochester & Finger Lakes Region Chapter

Meeting of the Minds Rochester & Finger Lakes Conference

Featuring The Inheritance by Niki Kapsambelis Learn about the history of research to discover a cure for Alzheimer’s, and hear the story of DeMoe family members who have dedicated their lives to caring for one another and participating in Alzheimer’s research. SPEAKERS: Niki Kapsambelis, Author of The Inheritance

Robin McIntyre, a DeMoe Family Member and Clinical Research Participant

Pierre Tariot, MD, Director, Banner Alzheimer’s Institute, and Research Professor of Psychiatry, University of Arizona College of Medicine

Care partners, care providers, people living with early-stage Alzheimer’s or another dementia, as well as anyone interested in learning about Alzheimer’s research, are invited to attend. Breakfast and lunch will be provided. Call the Alzheimer’s Association by May 8, 2018 to register and pick up a free copy of The Inheritance from a site near you at 1-800-272-3900. This program is funded by a grant from the New York State Department of Health.

LOCATIONS

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

8:30 a.m. - 2 p.m.

DoubleTree by Hilton 1111 Jefferson Rd., Rochester, NY 14623

The conference will also be video-streamed live at these venues: Big Flats Community Center 476 Maple St., Big Flats, NY 14814

Breakfast and lunch will be provided.

The Golf Club at Blue Heron Hills 1 Country Club Dr., Macedon, NY 14502 Quality Inn & Valley Oak Event Center 4242 Lakeville Rd., Geneseo, NY 14454 Ad Design by Conolly Printing


{ MAKE YOU BLUSH }

Wedding Season Is HERE! BY CHRISTINA DUCO

Wedding season is here! Whether you recently got engaged over the holidays, or you are starting your soon to be wedding festivities, the glam aspect is on every bride’s mind. There is so much more into having a makeup and hair trial then just showing up! Follow along to see who you should bring, what you should bring and if there is something specific you should wear!

is something about being a part of the process and watching a bride blossom from beautiful to WOW! There might be a question of the intensity in a spot on the eye or a piece of hair in a place maybe it shouldn’t be, and pictures just can’t always show everything like it does

When you go pick out a wedding dress, more often than not, you bring your mom and your bridesmaids! Those women are closest to you and mean everything to you or else they wouldn’t be there. I have the best bridal trials when 1-3 of the women you picked your dress out with, comes to the makeup trial. This is so important! Those women know you and see you the most. They know the best representation of you. Wouldn’t you want their feedback on how your glam is looking? Of course there might be little things your mom may think is too much in a hair style or makeup look that the bride will have differences on, but overall, if it’s one to two things, it’s a successful trial. I find that when a bride comes alone, she will take pictures and send them out to everyone. A picture is great, but there 172

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in real life. Some brides will do their trial ASAP in order to book their glam team, so ladies if this is you, do yourself a favour and bring your top 1-3 people in your life to a fun event like this.

As a full time wedding makeup artist and hairstylist my biggest struggle in a trial is when a bride comes to me for her trial, it is our first time meeting, and she says, “I trust you, do whatever you think” or straight up “I’m not sure what I want”. I hate to break it to you ladies, but it is probably our first time meeting you and we can NOT read your mind! I always want to ensure that my bride or potential brides feels so confident after leaving my chair, but if she’s not even sure of her look, how can I be sure of it? Bring a ton of photos of the work the artist has done that you like or don’t like so we can achieve the perfect look for you! Bring photos of your dress and your color scheme so the hair and makeup girls can get a feel of your wedding and then give their professional feedback. When you come empty handed, we have a hard time pulling out of thin air your feelings. My suggestion if you just got engaged and haven’t gone dress shopping yet or even really started to plan, pick a look you love for your glam and have it done so you can just make sure your hair and makeup girls can at least achieve a style you like and make sure it’s you!


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{ BEAUTY BITES }

WHAT IS A CHEMICAL PEEL? BY ANN MARIE EBLING

What is a chemical peel? How do you know if you need one? If you do what kind of peel is right for you? Is there down time? Are peels expensive? Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s answer these questions and see if a chemical peel is in your future. A chemical peel uses a chemical solution to improve the texture and tone of your skin by removing the damaged outer layers. Chemical peels have been around for thousands of years. Cleopatra soaked in milk baths to smooth her skin. The active ingredient in milk is lactic acid (an alpha hydroxy acid, or AHA) and these acids along with betahydroxy acids or BHA are still among the most commonly used types in modern day peels. Chemical peels are used commonly on the face but can also be used on your neck, chest and hands. Chemical peels can improve acne or acne scars, fine lines, irregular pigmentation, rough skin, melasma and more. Peels range from mild to deep. Mild peels on the face, neck or chest every few weeks are good if you cannot have any down time. The mild peels are the AHA peels or fruit acid peels, most commonly Glycolic Acid, Citric 174

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Acid, and Lactic Acid and can help improve acne scars, skin tone and texture, diminish fine lines and wrinkles and reduce the effects of sun damage. Mild peels cost less than laser skin resurfacing averaging anywhere from $100 to $400 per treatment.

medium strength peel will improve moderate sun damage, leathery skin, acne scars and deeper wrinkles. Deep peels are the strongest and the most common type is the Phenol peel. If you have a deep peel, anesthesia is required and there is significant downtime. Redness and crusting may last continuously over two weeks. Deep peels target deeper lines and significant skin discoloration. If you schedule an appointment for a mild or medium depth peel here is what you can expect: your face will be cleansed, the peel is applied with a brush or pad. You may feel a slight tingling that lasts for the duration of the peel. Afterwards you will look brighter and notice a gradual improvement in fine lines, texture and pigmentation.

Medium strength peels use the same ingredients as a mild peel just higher concentrations. If you have a medium strength peel you can expect to have redness, swelling and possibly blisters after the treatment. The skin will then crust and peel in one to two weeks. A

Peels are a great tool to assist in improvement of your skinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s texture and pigmentation. A good skin care regimen including sunscreen is also important. To see if you would benefit from a peel make an appointment with a esthetician who will closely look at your skin and provide you with the right choice of peel.


{ SUSAN SPEAKS }

SPRING CLEANING BY SUAN KATZ ASER

Trust Me…. Spring is just around the corner…..and that means you are going to want to start making your house lighter, fresher and less of a hassle so you can go out and enjoy the nice weather! So get a head start and jump on a few tasks now. Along with grabbing some boxes and labeling t h e “ Tr a s h” , “Donate” “Sell” and “Keep” to start cleaning out your closet and basements keep these 10 easy tips in mind! And, if you think you may want to sell your home soon you will be ahead of the game and be ready to go!

10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR HOUSE MORE SALABLE AND SPRING READY! 1. Get rid of clutter. Throw out or file stacks of newspapers and magazines. Pack away most of your small decorative items. Store out-of-season clothing to make closets seem roomier. Clean out the garage. 2. Wash your windows 176

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and screens to let more light into the interior. 3. Keep everything extra clean. Wash fingerprints from light switch plates. Mop and wax floors. Clean the stove and refrigerator. A clean house makes a better first impression and convinces buyers that the home has been well cared for.

4. Get rid of smells. Clean carpeting and drapes to eliminate cooking odors, smoke, and pet smells. Open the windows. 5. Put higher wattage bulbs in light sockets to make rooms seem brighter, especially basements and other dark rooms. Replace any burnt-out bulbs. 6. Make minor repairs that can create a bad impression. Small problems, such as sticky doors, torn screens, cracked caulking, or a dripping faucet, may seem trivial, but they’ll give buyers the impression that the house isn’t well maintained. 7. Tidy your yard. Cut the grass, rake the leaves, trim the bushes, and edge the walks. Put a pot or two of bright flowers near the entryway. 8. Patch holes in your driveway and reapply sealant, if applicable. 9. Clean your gutters. 10. Polish your front doorknob and door numbers. BONUS: Call your favorite professional Real Estate Agent to get you started and give you more tips!


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{ GET MINTY }

WORKFORCE FOR THE MILLENIALS BY JORDAN BETTS

DID YOU KNOW THAT BY THE YEAR 2025, 75% OF THE WORKFORCE WILL BE MILLENNIALS? Do you know how to adapt to the change? Do you want to learn how to have a successful employer/employee relationship with them? One of the most popular requests for my salon coaching is how to manage different generations of employees. Depending on your business, you might have several Generation Xers, a few Gen Yers, and maybe some Boomers, too. Running a business that is, in this regard, “multigenerational” requires a bit of research and a healthy dose of flexibility. The first thing you need to do is understand the hard-wiring of each generation’s brain. Each group has been raised differently and entered the workforce at different times in the last few decades, so most likely these individuals have different styles when it comes to how they comprehend and carry out their jobs and personal responsibilities each day. The biggest group in question is Millennials, officially defined these days as those born between 1981 and 1997. So how do you work with Millennials so that both of you will succeed? First, let’s all stop being so negative about them! They really aren’t as self-centered and entitled as you may think, have some incredible stuff 178

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figured out which we Generation Xers can learn a lot from.

ideas for your business.

1: They want a team-focused approach not a level-up system 2: They want a good work/life balance 3: They want a path to success that they help create 4: They want clear expectations 5: They want transparency

Millennials crave compensation that is not “just” a salary. Offering a $40,000 annual salary with a two-week vacation package isn’t enough anymore. Millennials would prefer a $30,000 salary with flexible hours, business-provided lunch, stock options, flexible time-off terms, and a creative workspace, etc... If an employee wants to take a half day to go to their nephew’s pre-school graduation, give it to them! Who’s to say that such an event isn’t important to that employee? I call this a “working retirement,” where you enjoy life to the fullest before you’re retired. Your reward will be increased loyalty and most likely, a more cooperative attitude next time an extra-hoursneeded deadline looms. If you want to learn more about creating a culture of “Working Retirement,” email me to schedule your first 2018 Business Breakthrough Session.

1: TEAM-FOCUSED APPROACH

Instead of being raised by parents who harbored expectations about them becoming doctors or

2: WORK/LIFE BALANCE

3: TEAM-BUILT PATH TO SUCCESS

lawyers, Millennials have been raised to do and be who they want. “Be you!” “Create something!” “Enjoy life!” “Step out of the box!” All of these phrases define amazing—and potentially positive--attributes, but it’s hard to handle as an employer if you’re a ladder climber. Millennials want to be part of the bigger picture; they don’t necessarily want to BE the picture. If you give them the chance, your team will step out of the box and create amazing revenue-boosting

Millennials want to be part of your company’s strategic planning sessions. They want to help set goals for the company and help build their own paths to success at the same time. Imagine how you would feel if you were told that you had to hit goals and follow plans that other people created for you. As business owners, we need to realize that although our business plan is what got us started, we cannot claim to be “the end all be all.” We have a lot to learn from our younger staff.

4:CLEAR EXPECTATIONS

Our younger employees want to have a seat


the drawing table. They want to help set their own goals and their own expectations within your company. Allowing them to tell you what they think their job description should be will help you understand more of where they are coming from; and in the end, if they decide that they’re not going to follow the description’s stated expectations—which they helped create--you can firmly but politely say, “Well, people, you wrote them...” Urge them to give constructive feedback to the entire staff as well as to themselves. Using self-generated feedback and self-generated expectation building hugely increases the chances that your staff will respond positively to the process, which will help them—and you—grow.

5: TRANSPARENCY

Millennials like to know what makes their company “tick,” why things are done a certain way, and how they can be part of the recipe for success. How much money did your business generate last month? What are the company’s future plans for expansion, relocation, etc.? And believe it or not, Millennials want to know what their coworkers’ job descriptions look like. The reason why is part admirable, part self-serving. They want to know so they can figure out every detail of how everyone in the company “fits together” so they can decide if this is where they want to spend their time building a career. It’s better for you to know right off the bat if someone isn’t “meant to be” with your

company so that you don’t spend your valuable time, energy, and resources investing in them. If you’re ready to learn more ideas about how to build your business up, email me to schedule your first 2018 Business Breakthrough Session! jordan@getminty.com // www.getminty.com/ saloncoaching

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Spaces with Style

Selma Hammer Designs 585.797.3564 â&#x20AC;˘ SelmaHammer@aol.com www.SelmaHammer.com


{ THE “O” TALK }

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T

{ A LITTLE INSITE ON A LIFE } BY CHLOE CORCORAN I PHOTO BY SARA SAVILLA

Transgender Day of VISIBILITY

Transgender Day of Visibility was March 31st. It is variously meant to be a day for celebration of trans identities, raising awareness about these identities, and recognizing the accomplishments of trans people. This day is a joyous occasion but, as I write about it, I find myself wondering when I am not visible. For those who are getting a little tired of me writing about the discrimination faced by trans people, and especially trans women, I promise you that I am just as tired of dealing with it. This year, on Transgender Day of Visibility, I found myself in Buffalo. A public stand against the most recent ban on transgender men and women serving in the military was taken, thanks to the We Exist Coalition of Buffalo (if you’re trans and in Buffalo, definitely look them up). I spoke out specifically against this ban and, more globally, against the many injustices faced by trans people in the world. Still, I have to remind myself that it’s only been 17 months since I have publicly transitioned. I have gone from a terrified, closeted woman to one who would dare to stand up for herself, and her community, at a public monument. Prior to those 17 months, I saw the difficulties trans women face. Within those past 17 months, I have experienced them myself. I am always visible, and people let me know it. Many things have changed, and some have stayed the same. The focus put on us by an administration who would have us neither heard nor seen has increased the harassment and stares I have felt. People feel emboldened in their hate, virtuous in their cause against us, and steadfast in their belief that we don’t belong in public. These people are wrong. But what I have learned, and emphasized, the most in the past 17 months, is that representation matters. I am often told that I am the first trans woman that many people have met, and it’s a magazine experience for many of them: “Trans people – They’re Just Like Us!” Despite what is said about us from the top levels of government, we are neither a burden nor a distraction. We are people. Just like you. And we want to

live our lives just like you. To be honest, I know that we as a society aren’t there yet. I have to stand up because it is the right thing for me to do. I have to speak out because our words need to be heard. Not just by other trans people, afraid and hoping to one day come out, but by our cisgender allies and the cisgender people who would move against us. Though many of us may be afraid, we will speak through these fears to stand up for each other. What touched me most about my time in Buffalo was not the event, though the support nearly brought me to tears. It wasn’t the amazing speakers, the elected officials, and the supportive crowd. It was my mom. It was my cousin and his girlfriend. It was my friend with her fiancée. They came to see me speak, and they cheered me on. And this is love. This is love that I never expected to receive 18 months ago, and this is love that I hope I have earned. But even more touching than my family, the one I was born into and the one I’ve chosen, being at the event was what we did after the event. We went to lunch. Why is going to lunch a big deal? Well, people stare. Hard and often. Again, as the first trans woman that many people have seen “in the wild”, it happens a lot. Sometimes it is simple curiosity, and sometimes it’s more insidious. At times, the people with me notice it, and other times they don’t. But my family didn’t seem to care, and that’s what is important. We met up with two other cousins and had a wonderful lunch. I am fortunate to know the people I do. It can be easy to focus on the difficulties we face because they are so grave and numerous, so it is also important to remember and celebrate simple joys. So this article, in addition to being a reminder about some of our difficulties, is also a thank you note. To the people in my life who have stuck by me during my worst times, I thank you. To the people who have come into my life since I have transitioned, you mean the world to me. To my family who has embraced me, immediately or over time, I love you. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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{ FOR { ART A GOOD THERAPY CAUSE } }

ENJOY THE SILENCE BY: SHEILAGH MCGREAL, ARTIST AND ART THERAPIST

A PEEK INSIDE THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON I see you. The one over there in the corner at the party keeping to just one or two people. I see you too. The one curled up on the couch reading a book because the idea of going to that party was just too much. It’s okay. I get it. The odds of running into you at a busy concert or an outdoor festival I know are probably slim. The thought of being around so much, it overwhelms you and you prefer the silence or being around just a select few versus what feels like a gathering with the whole world. The loud music, the loud conversation, combined with the lighting, the smells, trying to find a “safe” place to park yourself while just watching those around you… yeah, it’s so much to take in at once. It takes all your energy just to be present. I feel you. You’re probably sensitive to all these things going on- but, why? “Why,” you ask yourself, “why can’t I just do things like everyone else?” One possible answer… There is a chance you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). “Highly Sensitive? That just sounds like I’m weak.” Sure, it sounds like that but it has nothing to do with being weak or unable to function in a world full of people who are not as sensitive. You’ve probably spent a lifetime beating yourself up thinking you just can’t do things the way others do and have tried over and over again to do it their way but feeling spent by it all. A pioneer in learning more about the Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron, estimates 15%-20% of the population is highly sensitive. That means there is a small number of us trying to navigate the world among those who are not as sensitive. It may also be helpful to understand being highly sensitive is a trait, not a disorder. Studies have shown this is innate-so you were born this way. And you can be introverted or extroverted. “What??” Yes, you read that correctly, even extroverted. (It’s not just the shy types.)

“I still don’t understand why this is happening to me and tired of trying to keep up with others.” Of course you are tired! A significant thing that happens to the Highly Sensitive Person is that their nervous system can get agitated by too much stimulus and it can be challenging to return it back to a calmer state. So, even though the music moves you, the idea of going to a party is energy-draining. You’re taking in all this stimulus and it can be difficult to concentrate and focus when you are so aware of everything at once. A scenario like that is akin to just opening the flood gates to your nervous system. And the stress? Trying to juggle too many tasks at once can upset things as well. You may already be naturally doing what it takes to recover when you seek out a room full of silence and a good book. Getting away from all the noise, lighting, casual conversation, and finding someplace quiet gives you the reprieve you need to restore you mentally and physically. It can be equally difficult to help those close to you understand this need. The thought of socializing raises your anxiety a bit. When friends or family easily consider a healthy gathering it can be distressing because you want to be social, just not as often or not in crowded, people-filled spaces. You probably prefer a few close friends over dozens of acquaintances too. Your preference is for deeper, more meaningful relationships with people over casual small talk. The HSP also has a tendency to have more loyalty towards those close to them once trust has been established, so it makes sense that there are only a few who you hold dear. Sometimes relationships with others can be draining at times as well. Why? As a highly sensitive person you also have a greater empathy and sympathy towards others. The mental process involved can take its toll on the HSP. You’ve spent your whole life refining and fine-tuning your skills of intuition, the ways in which you put energy into being thoughtful and considerate, as well as the ways that you find deeper meaning

in connections to people, can compromise your internal self. The world can sometimes feel like it’s just asking too much of you each day. Some of us become afflicted by depression and anxiety when we don’t understand how our sensitivities come into play. Having that knowledge, for the highly sensitive person, is the key to lifting the burden. Once you determine you may be a highly sensitive person the world and how you view it can take on a brand-new perspective. In some ways it can feel like a curse to “feel so much.” But there are some good things about being highly sensitive. Over time you can begin to see what a wonderful gift you are to the world. The HSP is not only empathic, sympathetic, intuitive, loyal, and a deep-thinker- he or she is also a creative, inventive, able to quickly draw conclusions, and work very hard at helping sustain a more peaceful, symbiotic world. Where to find more HSP’s? Entertainers/ artists, those in “helping” professions, investigative professions, accounting, actor/ musician, and even business owners- and so many more professions are filled with highly sensitive people. You are not alone in the world! (I know, I’m an HSP too!) With the right mix of support and understanding you can learn to thrive. You are a valuable person in this world! Sheilagh McGreal is an Artist and Art Therapist in Rochester, NY who specializes in supporting the Highly Sensitive Person and has creatively helped women, men, and children learn to harness the strengths of living as a highly sensitive person. She’s an HSP too and knows firsthand what it means to survive in a world that feels overwhelming. For more information check out her website: www.RochesterArtTherapy.com

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{ RWO PRODUCT HIGHLIGHT }

BEAUTIFUL BUTTERS Beautiful butters was created two years ago and officially launched last April with our new logo. Our mission at beautiful butters is to help educate people on what they are putting on their bodies and help our customers feel assured knowing they are choosing a good product. Our products that we offer are hand made in small batches with all natural plant-based ingredients. There are no harsh chemicals and each products ingredients are carefully chosen to create the perfect balance. All products are focused on hair and skin with many future products still to come so be sure to like us on Facebook! Beautiful butters is welcoming spring by bringing back our whole spring/ summer collection. Protect your family from the sun with our protective sun lotion. Made with non- nano size zinc oxide to not penetrate your skin or hurt any microscopic organisms! Are you tired of holding your nose to that awful bug spray. Try our all natural bug repellent. Not only is the smell very pleasant but it is designed to help protect you and your pooch from some of the most common bugs. Forgot your bug repellent or just got an itch that will not go away? Try our itch relief available in a convenient roller bottle or as a lotion! This blend is full of anti-inflammatory properties that help reduce swelling caused by irritants. No soap and water near by no problem try our all natural hand cleanser. This hand cleanser is made with aloe vera juice so no more dry hands from using those sanitizers. Plus its full of antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties to help keep germs away.

Tired of frizzy hair? Try our anti-frizz serum made for all hair types from straight to kinky hair this formula can be applied differently depending on the texture of your hair. For straight hair apply it when hair is dry. For curly hair apply to the ends of damp hair after products have been applied. This year we will be experimenting on curl creams in hopes to launch by next year! For our men, I was inspired by my fiances fierce red beard to create beard oils and beard balms. We currently have two scents available, the first scent is our country inspired citrus woodsy scent. The second scent is our refreshing cool mint that gives you a slight energizing tingle as it is applied. For the athletes or anyone who may have minor aches and pains we recommend our muscle relief which comes in the form of a roller bottle or a lotion. This blend features anti-inflammatory properties as well as analgesic (pain relieving) properties. Please note none of our products are regulated by the FDA and we do not intend to diagnose, treat, or cure any diseases. These products have been seen to work for many people but may not work for everyone. Our Lavender Butter is beautiful butters very first creation. This butter is similar to the beard balms in texture but come in a very pleasant Lavender aroma. Great for dry or chapped skin.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPECIAL PRICING: Anti-Frizz Serum $12 Beard Oil Original $12 Cool Mint Beard Oil $12 Beard Balm Original $10 Cool Mint Beard Balm $10 Beard Comb $10 Bug Repellent 4 oz $10 Bug Repellent Mini $4 Hand Cleanser 4 oz $6 Hand Cleanser Mini $3 Itch Relief Lotion $8 Itch Relief Roller Bottle $4 Muscle Relief Lotion $ 13 Muscle Relief Roller Bottle $5 Protective Sun Lotion $13 Lavender Butter $10

The Ultimate Camp Combo Pack (Bug Repellent+Itch Relief Lotion+Hand Cleanser Spray) $19 Essential Camp Combo (Bug Repellent+itch relief lotion) $14 Fun in the Sun Combo Pack (Bug Repellent 4 oz and Protective Sun Lotion) - $19 Ultimate Beard Kit (includes beard comb available in any scent mix or match a beard oil) - $24 Beard Essentials Kit (Beard oil and beard balm any scent) - $18 Muscle Combo pack (get both the muscle relief roller bottle and lotion) - $15 Itch Combo Pack (Get the Itch Relief Roller Bottle and Lotion) - $10 Bug Repellent Combo (both 4 oz and 1 oz sizes) - $12 Buy any lotion and get any roller bottle for just $2 ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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ATHENA’S HOME NOVELTIES April 1, 2018 marks Athena’s Home Novelties 20th year in business. I am celebrating 5 and a half years as a “Goddess” with this life changing, direct sales company. The female empowering job title of “Goddess” is more interesting than “distributor” or “representative”. It looks great on a business card!

What is Athena’s Home Novelties? What is the job description of an Athena’s Goddess? 20 years ago, a young woman named Jennifer Jolicoeur had a big, beautiful dream to make people feel more satisfied through knowledge. Imagine an entertaining, in home sex education class focused on pleasure for both men and women. Long before the internet and the smart phone, she was determined to change the way people talked about sex and sexuality - removing the shame and the guilt that many people carry throughout their lifetime. She believed that through the intimate setting of a home party - she could connect with people and start productive discussions about self care, self pleasure and effective communication about sexual desires which would ultimately lead to heightened sexual experiences. She normalized the use of bedroom toys, lubricants and lotions by explaining them to all who would listen. Women whispering over cubicle walls and passing invitations to friends in need a titillating night of fun spread the word about Athena’s parties quickly throughout New England in a time when social media did not exist. Goddesses and Adoni (that’s what Athena’s calls males who present parties) like me travel far and wide to homes, colleges, vendor fairs and bridal expos to make our mission known: Better sex leads to a happier, healthier life. When an individual is sexually satisfied they tend to project good vibes into their world and the world around them. Athena’s clients, hostesses and Goddesses and Adoni are part of a growing circle of people who make the world a happier place. We make an exceptional income while making a difference. If you are interested in fulfilling love-life, positivity,

and entrepreneurship Athena’s may be the home YOU are looking for! Before joining Athena’s, I did not have the courage to write an article telling you that I am a sexual assault survivor, who was painfully shy with no self esteem to speak of. I moved so many times as a child that it was difficult to make friends. I have battled many health issues. It’s a miracle I am alive! I have evolved into a courageous survivor! Hear me ROAR! It brings me great pleasure to have the opportunity to talk to people about their sexual health and well being. I meet people who have had similar experiences and can support them on their journey. It is a gift to assure people that it’s OK to love themselves. It is a highlight to teach people with health issues or injuries to become intimate with their partners again! The relationships I build with my clients brings me immeasurable joy. 9 years ago, Athena’s embarked on a journey to raise awareness for breast cancer by breaking the world record for the longest bra chain! (Yes there is a record for this!) The Goddesses and Adoni of Athena’s have spent nearly a decade collecting ill-fitting and unwanted bras at parties with the goal of 200,000 bras hooked together as the ultimate symbol of a united stand against breast cancer. Hundreds of celebrities have autographed bras for the Athena’s Cup charity! To date, we have collected over 180,000 bras from women all over the world. Donations have already gone towards the fight against breast cancer and to support women battling this dreaded disease. We’re hoping to great our record-busting chain in October of 2018! I was happy to help spread the word about the Athena’s Cup and collect bras. My mother is a breast cancer survivor or 10 years! This cause is close to my heart. I have personally collected 2,000 bras for the chain, with more bras in my car ready to donate!

CHECK OUT MY AMAZING RAFFLE!

The women and men I have encouraged to join this company, become like family. What a euphoric feeling it is to see my teammates grow while I myself grow. The money is great, but the beautiful feeling of helping others is greater. Athena’s gave me the opportunity to win a trip to Mexico for me and my husband. What a perk! I am ready to travel the world! Winning trips is just the tip of the iceberg! They offer cash prizes (they are giving $20,000.00 to one person this year...yes you read that right… one Goddess or Adonis will win $20,000.00), free products, free Maid Service, spa experiences and jewelry to those of us who are willing to work. Although, truthfully, it doesn’t really feel like work. This company offers the best products for the body at affordable prices. I love working my business and spreading good vibrations. I am able to spoil myself, my teammates and my hosts. Meeting new people enriches my life. I meet many people who are stressed out. Athena’s skin pampering spa and body care line relaxes them. I can teach them daily head to toe rituals of self care. I also get to make my mark on people’s outlook about sex, destroying discriminatory beliefs. Adult toys are not replacements. They are enhancements that have the ability to help a stale relationship find their spark once again! It is an absolutely joy to help the shy girl communicate her needs so she get what she wants! These enriching encounters is more reward than any amount of money. This career path has changed the lives of college students, stay at home moms, folks who need extra income and people interested in operating their own business. Everyone who joins Athena’s Home Novelties is thoroughly trained and set up for success. Goddesses and Adoni are able to pick their own demonstration kits. The on-going training and support is optional, yet so beneficial.


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{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }

BUTTERCUPS AND PANTIES BY KATHY GLEASON

Employers and coworkers alike have applauded my organizational skills, my leadership skills and my ability to empathize and empower others that wish to better themselves. I treasure their comments, but since this issue is all about entrepreneurship, I thought I would share with you, the reader, the story of the one person I have failed over and over again.

and spiritually. It wasn’t until the last week of the month, when finally at a loss to identify anything significant I needed to work on, that my epiphany was revealed.

Research aided me in compiling a list of characteristics for successful entrepreneurs:

This gal wants to reach the top in everything she does. She is not willing to settle for “okay” and refuses to believe that “sometimes good is good enough.” She is tough. She is determined. She is committed. She is ME. The conundrum is that I am not always strong enough to make ME do what is necessary. I am not always accountable to ME, despite having no problem following through with others to help them achieve their goals. About a year ago I spent a month using my daily 30 minutes of reflection time for introspection. For these 31 days, 30 minutes each day, I analyzed ME. A total of 15.5 hours that I dug deep, returned to childhood memories searching for those traumatic moments that might have been the catalyst in preventing ME from managing ME as this adult. I had no difficulty finding trauma, as it was frequently present in my life, primarily in relationships. Yet, I told myself, I see nor feel any concrete evidence of emotional or psychological damage from these issues. I pronounced myself quite healthy emotionally, psychologically 194

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For positions in the corporate world, this introspection was never done. I succeeded in my jobs, promoted regularly and received merit raises and bonuses every time. Introspection was never essential until I became involved in Direct Sales. Some would say I became an entrepreneur.

• Ability and drive to blaze new trails • Constant hunger for making things better • Creative in imagining new ways to solve problems • Capable of balancing strong vision with a willingness to embrace change • Strong enough to strike out on your own • Inner passion for learning • Courage to commit and persevere • Resourcefulness (lots!) • Ability to see the Big Picture I was so organized, intelligent and savvy that ME knew exactly what I wanted to hear. ME knew what topics to avoid, what triggers to ignore, what strengths to praise and what weaknesses to hide.

• Be people-oriented • See opportunity everywhere • Have the guts to take risks


• Be able to accept failure at the deepest personal level – then continue on • Ability to turn possibility into reality And if, like me, you nodded at any or all of these characteristics, you are an entrepreneur. However, possessing these characteristics is NOT a guarantee of success. That remains within your own ME. I won’t bore you with the entire details of my personal insight, goals and personal corrective action plans, but will admit I am working on ME. It is an overwhelming job, but I remain confident I am able to become a better ME. My creative method of reminding myself

to push forward, pick myself up after failing or taking a break is through bracelets. You know, those jingly ones you layer on your wrists. The constant metal against metal wind-chime-like noise is delicate enough to not disturb others but is enough to poke my thoughts. “Put on your Big Girl Panties and DEAL with it!” “Suck it up, Buttercup!” “I decide.” “Be brave.” Once I identified a quote that poked my brain or my heart, I reached out to a friend who stamped it onto a bracelet.

She is also an entrepreneur. Get the idea? Oddly enough, it is helping ME. If you feel it will also help you, use the idea. In fact, I need more slogans!! I encourage and invite you to send me a quote that you feel would be instrumental in my personal quest to be a better ME. A ME that will be faithful in followup, diligent with details, committed to creativity, successful in scheduling. I will select a winner from your submissions and will gift that person with their very own bracelet. So come on – send your inspirational tidbits to me at kginitials@gmail.com with Subject Line: Buttercups.

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{ MORTGAGE TIPS WITH PHYLLIS }

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{ CRAZY FIT PREGNANCY }

A Letter to the Husbands/ Future Baby Daddies

BY TRACY ECHEVERRI

Dear patient, loving and caring husbands, partners or baby daddies of the world. You and your lady are expecting your first child and are as clueless and scared as the rest of the world was. You have to sit by as your woman grows, feels pain and has her body change like it never has before. You have to sit by and be understanding of something you don’t understand. To listen to her problems that you can do nothing to fix. To witness her ups and downs and be only confused of it all because she is too. These are probably some of the most crazy, weird and eye opening 9 months of both of your lives. Of course, the man isn’t dealing with the real transitions of the body. He is not creating something inside of him because he isn’t the mom. But he is growing as a man and preparing himself to be a dad just by witnessing this miracle with the woman he loves and also tending to her needs like he would a child. Or that is of course what we would want the dads-to-be to do for us. This is a touchy subject but I wanted to dive head first into it. I am now 5 ½ month pregnant with my husband and I’s first baby. We are due at the end of July and we are coming around the bend and a little past our half way mark. This has been an emotional rollercoaster for me and also has been a challenge for my husband. Not that I have been the ridiculous demanding “ice cream at 2am type of wife” or blaming him for my pain or anything like that, but there has been a lot of growing for both of us and not just the tummy part!! I cannot stress enough the word COMMUNICATION. Moms-to be cannot expect a man to understand how she feels, what she wants or what she needs. He can hope she will relay the message but most likely she may not. She will react in sadness or anger because she doesn’t know what to do to feel better or make things more comfortable. As a woman I will tell you to ask her what she needs. Don’t always expect she will tell you. Sure, some woman are very vocal. I am vocal but not when it comes to asking for anything to be done for me. I have issues asking for help or favors. This is one thing I am not good at and will always need to work on. For example, I actually started crying at the gym yesterday night. This was a first!! I was already emotional because I just don’t feel like myself. I don’t feel sexy so I am less apt to ask for sex. I won’t say no to it but I could care less at this point if I do it which is so “not me.” I was the one always surprising him in sexy outfits and excited to be intimate together. Right now, it Is the complete opposite and mostly it’s because I just don’t like how I look and feel. Sexy is not how I would describe myself at this point.

My husband everyday tells me I am beautiful and he thanks me for having this baby for us. I always disagree and say I look terrible and he yells at me. LOL!! He really does. I am not exaggerating. I need to appreciate that more because not every guy would do that and be thoughtful enough or even care. But anyways to get back to the gym situation. I was upset I couldn’t run because it bothered my tummy and I was just sad in general because I did not feel good that day regarding my appearance. My husband knew that and tried to comfort me and my instant reaction was tears. I was on a weight machine and started crying and yelled at him because when he touches me or tries to comfort me-it just gets worse and I really can’t control the tears. This poor guy stood helpless next to me as I was trying not to cry as hard as I could and he didn’t want to touch me again so I would calm down. In the end I was able to hide in a different room where they have cardio machines and a movie playing. It was a dark room where I stood against the wall trying to compose myself and he let me be. He gave me time and space and then asked if I would walk on the treadmill while he ran. We could then continue our work-out and be away from everyone else in the dark cardio movie room. Crying in the gym was again a first for me and also just straight up embarrassing. I hate reflecting weakness and I just felt so stupid. So, you can imagine what my husband is going through. He is confused and all he wants to do is make the situation better and he can’t. All he can do is sit and be patient and if anything, ask if there is something that could make things better. As a partner you have to accept that you will not be able to fix every situation but just your presence or your absence may help. I choose to be alone a lot when I don’t feel myself. I don’t want comfort really and I also don’t want to be a nuisance, so I typically choose to be away from everyone and everything or just cuddle with my dogs. My dogs are something that always brings me peace and calms me instantly. Again, every woman and man are different and typically at this point you probably have a good idea how that person acts or things they need within your relationship. And if you don’t know-this is the time to explore those things with each other because they are super important. Ask questions don’t just wonder. Find out how each other feels and just love one another through this wild, mind-blowing experience. This pregnancy is such a tremendous time of growth for you and your partner and you have to work as a team. Ladies-be kind to your husband and understand he only wants to help and Gents-ask questions and just try to make her feel comfortable and beautiful. Good Luck!! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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{ MASKARA BEAUTY TIPS}

THE BEAUTY OF CREAM FOUNDATION WHY IS CREAM FOUNDATION SO GREAT?

Creams are a great option for all skin types especially dry or mature skin. Cream foundations can provide sheer coverage or be layered to provide more full coverage. They also do not settle into fine lines and wrinkles so they will not accentuate your laugh lines and will move with your skin.

TIPS FOR USING CREAM FOUNDATIONS:

1. EXFOLIATE: Exfoliating is so important for promoting cellular turnover and removing dead skin. This will allow for a smooth application of your foundation while helping to keep those fine lines and wrinkles at bay. An exfoliator I am currently obsessed with is Dr. Brandt’s Poredermabrasion 2.MOISTURIZE: It may seem counterproductive if you suffer from oily skin to add more moisture to your face but your face will overcompensate for dryness by over-producing oil. I recommend a light moisturizer for the morning that is oil-free and a heavier moisturizer for night time. Maskcara Beauty’s Milk Creme is a great option for all skin types. 3. USE A PRIMER: Priming your skin will help control oil, minimize pores, and keep your makeup in place all day! A primer I have been using that is lightweight and provides a little luminosity is Dr. Brandt’s Pores No More Luminizer Primer. 4. USE A SETTING POWDER: Once your makeup is finished and

you are ready to set it in place, dusting a setting or finishing powder over your look is a great way to keep it matte and fresh. I love using Coty’s Airspun ! 5. USE A SETTING SPRAY: Setting your makeup with setting spray is so important in making your makeup last all day. Some setting spray recommendations I have are: All Nighter Setting Spray by Urban Decay and Maskcara Beauty’s Stay Out There Spray. Maskcara has one that contains SPF as well which is great for those who want sun protection. These options are great for all skin types. 6. INVEST IN A GOOD SKIN CARE REGIMEN: It is so important to invest in your skin and choose a skincare regimen that works for you. I personally love the Tres Leches skin care line by Maskcara Beauty. It is great for all skin types, simple and consists of a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer. What’s unique about the Milk products is that they balance the pH of your skin and remove bacteria without stripping or irritating the skin. By balancing the pH of your skin, the products will moisturize and soothe dry skin, decrease oil overproduction in oily skin, reduce fine lines and wrinkles, tame acne, and make your complexion more even overall.

are gaining mainstream popularity. Bigger beauty brands have come out with cream highlight and contour kits but it requires layering multiple products which can become heavy and cakey. A great cream foundation that I recommend that provides full face coverage while highlighting and contouring (HAC-ing) all in one layer is Maskcara Beauty’s iiiD foundation. This foundation is amazing quality and provides adjustable coverage while providing a natural HAC! What’s even better is you can consult with an Independent Artist to be color matched for your personal colors. No more guessing based on swatches in a drugstore aisle or on your computer screen! If you would like more tips and tricks, product reviews, makeup tutorials, or to shop Maskcara Beauty please head over to the Simply Made Up Facebook Group or shop simplymadeup. maskcarabeauty.com. Dana MacIntyre Beauty Lover Independent Maskcara Artist #4294

WHY ARE CREAMS GAINING POPULARITY?

Hollywood has used creams forever but it’s not until more recently that they ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: APRIL 2018

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{ HAIR HYPE }

CHANGE IS BEAUTIFUL BY MARY BUSHEY

Most of us live in our “comfort zone”. We do what we are familiar with. We hang around similar people and that is usually what makes up our friend click. We do what is expected. We dress and act usually how we must in our respective career. But do we have to do this? Do we all have to look alike and be what is expected? Can’t we dare to be bold? Society is rapidly changing and with these changes so are the societal norms.

You can buy cheap clips ins to test the waters (at the dollar store) or there are more sophisticated choices in beauty supply stores. Walmart offers S-Nollite

The definition of “what is beautiful?” is expanding. It is becoming ok to be different. Look at the “Big Bang Theory”! The television show made it cool to be nerdy. Bright, bold colors became the style trend in the hair industry. You can wear your hair as a rainbow! If your favorite color is purple, it’s okay, die your hair accordingly. Does everyone feel comfortable to do this? Of course not. But guess what, there are some non-permanent ways you can sample being bold if you are not all the way there yet in deciding being bold is for you! Want your hair pink? purple? or red ?. There are dies available which are semi-permanent that wash out after a few shampoos. There are also hair sprays which can add a little hue. If you are not sold on these temporary fixes, there are hair extensions. 200

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where you can ensure the hair matches your hair color or style. There is also a quality issue when opting for the cheaper versions of hair extensions where the hair may not withstand your curling iron or when you wash your hair. More permanent extensions can be braided, sewn in or taped in for permanency. A higher quality hair makes the extension appear real, even feel like real hair or you can get 100% real hair. It was around 2014, when the hair thing started being a popular alternative and multicultural. People utilize them sometimes if they are suffering hair loss or other medical issues, or you had a bad experience at a salon and your hair is damaged. They are definitely becoming something everyone is starting to inquire about. Celebrities were wearing them for a long time according to Babe Things blog (1) It wasn’t until recently it was talked about (1). Celebrities such as Chrissy Monroe and others helped popularize the use of extensions.

hidden invisible wire extensions for $8.59. Walgreens has ponytail clip ins for around $ 20.00. Wigs are also available. Salons offer a more individualized option

Popularity may be tied with the ability to change your style as often as you like. This week you have short hair and next week, a head of full of flowing hair. Like anything else, beauty


due to lack of knowledge about the product and or the maintenance required. Some women may think just the young girls do these things and shun it off as whether this is something for them. Caring for hair extensions is not much different than caring for your natural hair. Yes, you can wash them, and you can use dry shampoo in between if needed. The hair can be brushed and curled with a curling iron. The maintenance is not 202

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much more than your everyday care for your own hair. This is the season we are turning the corner from winter in Rochester, NY. Spring and summer is coming ladies. Jump out of your comfort zone and be bold and daring! Ask your stylist to help you if you don’t feel comfortable finding a new style that will suit you. If you don’t have a personal stylist, you can always call on me at Mario’s Hair Salon at 1474 Monroe

Avenue. Change is good sometimes. Be a butterfly and let your wings soar!!! We only live once. Live life to the fullest. Resources 1.Pattsy (2014). Are Hair Extensions Just A Trend? Babe Hair Extensions retrieved March 17, 2018 from www.babethings.com


{ ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S KITCHEN THYME }

HIGH FREQUENCY for Anti-Aging BY DENISE PETERS

The kitchen is the heart and soul of the home. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where we gather with friends and family, talk with loved ones, do our homework, prepare signature meals for those we love and gather with our friends after dinner parties. The multi-use space requires attention to how you will illuminate the space; starting with natural lighting and including task, accent and general lighting to make it really shine. To begin, start with the natural light that enters your kitchen through windows, skylights and adjacent rooms. Consider the planting placement outside of the window and how it impacts the light. Sometimes adding a beautiful tree or removing an old over grown bush can change the experience of the room. Enlarging the window over the kitchen sink or opening a wall to an adjacent room that is flooded with light can make a noticeable difference.

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When creating the most effective and attractive lighting for your kitchen, you will want to look at lighting the areas where you will be chopping and preparing food or washing dishes. These areas should be well lit with a brighter and more direct light. Lighting the cabinet drawers, counters, and drawers help ensure you can see well while performing tasks in the kitchen. Many cabinet manufacturers offer preinstalled LED lights with switches that turn the lights on and off as you open and close the drawer or door. Once you have the work spaces well lit, adding accent lighting will give visual interest to the kitchen and draw attention to architectural details and items of interest in the kitchen. Accent lighting should be at least three times brighter than the surrounding light in the room to stand out.

If you are using floating shelves in your kitchen you may want to consider an LED channeled light on the underside or back side of the shelves. This allows for illumination of items on the shelves as well as defining the details of the shelves. Often, glass cabinets are used to display family heirlooms and favorite kitchen wares. Using glass shelves will allow light to pass through the shelves while showing off your favorite pieces. If you prefer wood shelves you may have LED strips mounted in a vertical position just inside the frame of the cabinet which will illuminate the entire cabinet. Another popular place for accent lighting is below the toe kick or under the counter top of the kitchen. Toe kick lighting can add a soft glow helping to show off the details of the cabinetry and offer light for those late-night snacks.


Every person who can have a facial should, even those with the most beautiful skin.


General lighting is added last to fill the space with ambient lighting. Well placed recessed lighting, chandelier or pendant should be all you need to fill the space with nice light. A Monorail works nicely over kitchen islands because you can bend the rail however youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like and get the best of both worlds; you can have both accent heads and pendants on the same rail. Recessed lighting comes in a 206

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variety of sizes and styles. You will want to speak with a lighting specialist to ensure the lights you choose will illuminate the space adequately. This is when you can select the style of lighting to really dress up or minimalize the design. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be afraid to really personalize the look of your kitchen with these selections. Mixing layers of light with natural rays, the best lighting fixtures, and dimmers is

a great recipe for a well-lit kitchen. Have fun with your selections! Denise Peters Kitchen Thyme Design Studio Inc. www.kitchenthymedesignstudio.com


It’s thyme for your dream kitchen AWARD WINNING

“ D E S I G N S PA C E , T H AT R E F L E C T S Y O U R S T Y L E ”

www.kitchenthymedesignstudio.com

BUSHNELL’S BASIN | 672 KREAG RD. | PITTSFORD, NY 14534

Call for your appointment today! 585-385-9149


{ COACHING WITH KAREN }

COMMUNICATION VS. INTERPRETATION BY KAREN MESSINA

Are you suffering from Misinterpretation of good Communication? How are you interpreting what is being communicated? There is what we say, what we mean by what we say, what we hear and what we make it all mean. That is a mouthful, but so very relevant. Here is an example – my friend called me to say he would be arriving at 7 pm. So, I sent him a text and I said, “Hey, I wasn’t sure if I should have dinner for you. Let me know if you have already had dinner.” And he replied back and said, “I’ll eat something.” That was his full text, “I’ll eat something.” But what he meant was, “Yeah, I’m hungry; I’ll eat something.” What I heard him say was, “Yeah, I’ll get something to eat before I come. I’ll eat something here,” is what I made what he said mean. See how easy it is to misinterpret what people say? That is one aspect of communication gone bad. The other tricky area is in the workplace. It is really important when you are communicating in a working environment; when you are giving instructions to someone or you are communicating something that needs to be done for a job, that you are very clear in what your expectations are. Just remember that there is what you say and there is what you mean. Also remember that there is what they heard and what they make it mean. The gap needs to be closed between the words we say and what others hear. How are you interpreting what other people say? Sometimes we carry past feelings about a person or situation, so when they speak to us, we are not fully listening because we are remembering the last 208

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conversation and assuming the outcome of the conversation, without really

hearing what they said. Or we say things like “I know what you meant.”


There is what we say, what we mean by what we say, what we hear and what we make it all mean. That is a mouthful, but so very relevant.

We can never really know what a person meant without hearing what they have

to say and possibly repeating some of it back for clarification. Let’s say I have

an employee who has done something for me and I don’t like the result, I can back up and say, “Okay, how did we end up with this result?” It is important to find where we haven’t given the correct direction or haven’t been clear enough. Sometimes, if we don’t know exactly what we DO want then that is where we end up with a negative result that we DO NOT want. We also have communication in relationships that can sometimes be confusing. If you say to your partner for example, “I wish that you didn’t come home so late, I don’t like that you are always late because I miss you and don’t get to spend enough time with you.” I could just mean that I miss you and love you and wish you were home more. What your partner might say is “Well what I’m hearing you say is that I should come home earlier and that I’m being disrespectful and I’m not taking good care of you.” Your reaction would be to say “oh no, that is completely wrong and not at all what I meant.” I always say, “think before you speak” which is really good advice, as it can save you from misinterpretation of good communication and it can create healthier relationships with everyone around you. To learn more about this concept you can contact me via my webpage to set up a free mini session at: https:// kmessinalifecoach.wixsite.com/mysite Or email me at kmessinalifecoach@ gmail.com


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{ TAKE MY ADVICE } BY JULIE DONOFRIO

Julie Donofrio (Julie Dee) is a comedian and writer. Her advice is for entertainment purposes, and is generally not helpful or useful. Follow it at your own risk.

TAKE MY ADVICE…. I’M NOT USING IT!

Dear Julie Dee, Dear Julie Dee, Can you please help settle an argument? My husband has joined what I call the Kooky Kale Club. He insists on having kale every day, and thinks that we should all have it at every meal – kale salads, kale chips, kale smoothies; he even wanted me to serve kale omelets for Easter brunch! I think kale tastes horrible, no matter how it’s prepared (and believe me, I’ve tried it prepared at least 100 different ways – all are bad). I also think that my husband is out of his mind, quite possibly due to malnutrition after months of eating nothing but kale. What do you think about kale? - Kaled-Out in Kendall Dear Kendall, I can see why so many people like kale. It looks very pretty on a plate, next to a steak and a large baked potato with butter and sour cream. Perhaps you should try adding green food coloring to everything and just tell him there’s kale in it. Or, you could just quote the wise, and probably well fed, Yukon Cornelius who said, “You eat what you like, and I’ll eat what I like.” Dear Julie Dee, My girlfriend has been nagging me to eat healthier, but I like dessert. A lot. Especially cake. Cake is the reason I get up in the morning, and the thought of being able to have cake on the weekends gets me through the weekdays. I mean, I’m crazy about my girlfriend, but I love my desserts. I would hate to have to give up either of them, but in all honesty, if I’m forced to choose I would really miss my girlfriend. What should I do? - Hungry in Hilton Dear Hungry, Have you considered carrot cake? Since carrot is its first name, it must be a vegetable. Most carrot cakes have raisins, so that means they also contain fruit. What could be healthier than fruits and vegetables? I hope you don’t have to choose between cake and your girlfriend. It sounds like she’s just looking out for you and I

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don’t think she’s being unreasonable. It could be much worse; she could be a compulsive gambler, or an alcoholic, or want you to eat a lot of kale. Dear Julie Dee, I’ve always wanted to be an architect. I got married young and raised 4 kids. The two youngest (the twins) are in college now and I feel like it’s time for me to pursue my own career goals. With both of them in college, we qualify for financial aid and could afford it now if I go to school part time and still keep my full time job as a grocery store clerk. The problem is that even with my old associate’s degree and transfer credits, it would still take at least four years to finish. I’m almost 51, and would be 55 by the time I’m done with school. Is 55 too old for a new architect? I don’t know if I should even bother, but I really want to be an architect. What do you suggest? - Wannabe Builder in Waterloo Dear Wannabe, I say go for it! I always say go for it, but I actually mean it this time. You have a lot of years left to work, what with people not being able to afford to retire until they are very old, and answering this question will answer your question: Four years from now, do you want to be a 55 year old architect or a depressed 55 year old grocery store clerk who wishes she was an architect? I think it’s probably the first one, and also don’t think that there is any such thing as being “too old” to be an architect (however, for the record, I do think there is such a thing as being too young to be a regular at bingo, and that goes for anyone under 80). Dear Julie Dee, I want to be a singer, but my mom wants me to be a lawyer. Lawyers are not cool, and have to go to school for a long time. How can I get her to change her mind and just let me be a singer? - Lawless in Lakeville Dear Lawless, In the history of moms, none have ever changed their minds about wanting a child who’s a lawyer. Sing in nightclubs and karaoke contests for money to put yourself through law school. That way, you can try to make a living as a singer, and when you finish school you can be your own entertainment lawyer.


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RWO April 2018 PT2  

This is the much anticipated PART 2 of our April Women Entrepreneurs Edition of Rochester Woman Online! Filled with over 225+ pages of more...

RWO April 2018 PT2  

This is the much anticipated PART 2 of our April Women Entrepreneurs Edition of Rochester Woman Online! Filled with over 225+ pages of more...