American Funeral Director | June 2019

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contents American Funeral Director

June 2019, Vol. 142 No. 6

on the cover 20 | Fathers & Sons For many sons, their fathers have had a significant impact on their outlook and life. Some have even inspired their sons to follow in their footsteps. By Patti Martin Bartsche

be inspired.

46 | The Inconvenience of Death Nothing lasts forever. We go through phases, trends and fads, but ultimately everything passes as quickly as it enters. By Jennifer Graziano

50 | Younger Voices Make an Impact For millennials working in funeral service, it is a rewarding profession with a chance to make a difference.

By Stan Goldstein

74 | Finding Resilience: One Year Later A year after the launch of the groundbreaking Finding Resilience, we look at the program’s impact, evolution and what’s in store going forward.

By Patti Martin Bartsche (From left) Joseph Ernest Pray, Joseph Anders Pray, Joseph Tyler Pray and Joseph Eugene Pray of Pray Funeral Home in Charlotte, Michigan, with the firm’s 1937 Lasalle Funeral Coach built by Meteor Motor Car. (Photo credit: Amanda Lipsey/Henwood Studio)

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62 be educated.

34 | You Had Me at Hello!

Properly answering a call is necessary if you want to successfully convert callers into customers.

By John T. McQueen

be informed.

70 | Last Responder Instructs 32 | Take the Initiative to Generate Positive Reviews First Response It’s important to understand how the opioid crisis is affecting the death-care industry, medical examiners and coroners. By Stephen Born

A funeral home is just like most other businesses: You typically must make a concerted effort to generate plenty of positive reviews. By Welton Hong

82 | Is Funeral Home Texting Impersonal?

62 | Heading into South Dakota

Texting has become the preferred way many people communicate. Not everyone in funeral service agrees.

By Ellery Bowker

Rapid City, South Dakota, is the setting for the Professional Car Society’s 43rd Annual International Meet. By Patti Martin Bartsche

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66 | HR Reality Check There are some guidelines to consider when deciding whether somone is an independent contractor versus an employee.

By Stephanie Ramsey

86 | Touch Points Many people say they like the idea of preplanning, but they aren’t ready to commit. Our preneed partners offer suggestions to help turn that good idea into a reality.

in this issue Editor’s Message ........................6 Contributors ..............................8 Ask the Expert ..........................10 Financial Fitness ......................14 On the Road ............................16 Supplier News ..........................88 Calendar ..................................89 Events ....................................93 Advertising Index ......................94 Classified..................................95 Last Word ................................96

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Editor’s Message [Patti Martin Bartsche]

Halfway Through the Year www.americanfuneraldirector.com 3349 Highway 138 Building D, Suite B Wall, NJ 07719 CUSTOMER SERVICE

800-829-9145 americanfuneraldirector@emailcustomerservice.com EDITORIAL STAFF EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

Thomas A. Parmalee 732-746-0201 tparmalee@kbpublications.com

MANAGING EDITOR

Patti Martin Bartsche 732-746-0205 pbartsche@kbpublications.com

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Stan Goldstein 732-746-0218 sgoldstein@kbpublications.com

ADVERTISING STAFF PUBLISHER

Allison Sullivan 732-746-0211 asullivan@kbpublications.com

NATIONAL ACCOUNTS MANAGER

Jeanne Petillo 732-746-0210 jpetillo@kbpublications.com

NATIONAL ACCOUNTS MANAGER

Mary Ford 732-746-0212 mford@kbpublications.com

MARKETING MANAGER

ART DIRECTOR

Chris Maguire 732-746-0203 cmaguire@kbpublications.com

The end of this month brings us halfway through the year. It’s a good time to take stock of where you stand on your annual goals – those things you’d like to say in a year-end performance review you’d give yourself. Are you on track?

Reviewing my own list, I find I’m doing well on some things.

I’ve started to weed through the abundance of “stuff” that’s accumulated in my basement over the years. I threw away things with broken pieces, donated used books to the local library and filled a half-dozen boxes with household goods to be donated to a local charity.

But I have a way to go on some other goals. I have yet to commit to a paint color for my living room or bathroom – even though we’ve been living with swatches taped to the walls since the beginning of the year. And I have yet to purge my desk of scraps of paper and notes that date back five or more years.

The good thing about checking in on progress made at this point, though, is that we’ve still got six months to go. That’s enough time for me to buckle down on a paint color and implement the Marie Kondo method of organizing in the office.

It’s enough time to plan the vacation you told yourself you’d take or reacquaint yourself with a hobby you let slip. It’s enough time to tackle many big work projects, from revamping your selection room to having your staff become certified celebrants.

Six months is also enough time to change course if necessary - or to change goals completely, if life calls for that. You may want to set different goals for the year, and six months still gives you time to hit them. That gives the year a sense of forward motion.

Good luck!

Clarification:

Megan Conway 732-746-0215 mconway@kbpublications.com

“The What I Wished Everyone Knew About Funeral Planning” story in the April edition of American Funeral Director was written

by Dorothy O’Leary, a copywriter with Physicians Mutual.

The American Funeral Director® (ISSN 0002-8576) is published monthly by Kates-Boylston Publications, 3349 Highway 138, Building D, Suite B Wall, NJ 07719-9671. Single issues are priced at $7.95. SUBSCRIPTIONS: For one year (12 issues), U.S.: $59; Canada: $95 (CDN); International: $110 (USD). For two years (24 issues) U.S.: $99; Canada: $165 (CDN); International: $195 (USD). To subscribe call CUSTOMER SERVICE toll free in U.S. & Canada: 800-829-9145 and select option 1. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to American Funeral Director, c/o Palm Coast Data, P.O. Box 42035, Palm Coast, FL 32142. Periodicals postage paid at Red Bank, NJ, 07701, and additional entry points.

PHOTOCOPY/REDISTRIBUTION: ©2019 Kates-Boylston Publications. No part of this publication may be printed or reproduced without prior written permission from Kates-Boylston Publications. To obtain permission, please call 732-746-0201.

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Contributors June 2019

Tyler Anderson is vice president of business development at Precoa, which is based in Portland, Oregon. Visit www.precoa.com for more information.

Stephen Born, a licensed funeral director and embalmer, is a certified naloxone trainer for the death-care industry. He shares his knowledge through continuing education programs, journals and travels throughout the state of Illinois. He can be reached at bornstephen@yahoo.com.

Ellery Bowker is the founder of Aftercare.com. He can be reached at 800-721-7097 or ellery@aftercare.com.

Stephanie Castagnier Dunn is SBA president at Incredible Bank, a division of River Valley Bank. She has written hundreds of millions of dollars in SBA loans and continues to be passionate about helping family businesses succeed. She can be reached at sdunn@incrediblebank.com or 847-477-7546.

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Jennifer Graziano is a fourth-generation funeral director who oversees her family’s funeral homes, Coxe & Graziano in Mamaroneck, New York, and Greenwich, Connecticut, and the Zion Memorial Chapel, also in Mamaroneck. An attorney admitted to practice in Connecticut, she is actively involved in the communities served by the funeral homes and is a frequent lecturer and panelist on subjects of aging and advanced planning.

Welton Hong is the founder of Ring Ring Marketing (www.ringringmarketing.com) and a leading expert in creating case generation from online to the phone line. He is the author of “Making Your Phone Ring with Internet Marketing for Funeral Homes.” He can be reached at Welton@ringringmarketing.com.

John T. McQueen is the managing director of innovation and professional development for Foundation Partners Group and the former owner of Anderson-McQueen Funeral Homes in St. Petersburg, Florida.

He’s been active in numerous funeral organizations and is considered a leading innovator within funeral service.

Stephanie Ramsey is the HR specialist for The Foresight Companies. In addition to speaking at national conferences, she writes a quarterly newsletter on HR matters that can be viewed at www.f4sight.com. She can be reached at stephanie@f4sight.com.

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Ask The Expert [Industry leader]

Q&A with Knut A. Olson n Summary

When Mark L. Solverud, president and CEO of National Guardian Life Insurance Co., announced his retirement for the end of April 2019, the board of directors for the Madison, Wisconsin-based company conducted a nationwide search for a successor. The board’s goal was specific: Identify a leader who could build upon NGL’s growth, financial strength and connection with its customers and marketing partners. They found that – and more – in Knut A. Olson, who took over as president and CEO on Jan. 3. We recently had a chance to catch up with Olson to talk about his new position, the importance of preplanning and more. Patti Martin Bartsche reports Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I grew up in northern California, attended Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, Washington, and graduated in August 1990. I received my insurance license during the summer of 1990, and the Sunday evening after I graduated I started making sales calls.

Insurance is an important product for everyone and that’s why I’ve made it my career.

I spent most of my career at Thrivent Financial as an insurance agent, advancing through the ranks before ending up in several senior leadership positions.

My wife and I enjoy spending time with our family. Our grandchildren are in Nashville, Tennessee, so we often travel there. Currently, we are getting settled in Madison, Wisconsin, and look forward to discovering more about the city.

What was your journey like to get to president and CEO of National Guardian Life Insurance Co.?

Much of my background and experience is in the sales of life insurance and investment products, including preneed and final expense. While I spent the bulk of my career in distribution and marketing, the last 10

What first attracted you to the job at NGL?

Knut A. Olson 15 years were focused on enterprise operations at Thrivent as a senior executive.

Most recently I was president of the North American Life Division at Foresters Life Insurance Co., and in that role was responsible for all areas of operations. This has given me the opportunity to learn all aspects of the insurance industry and prepared me for my new role as president and CEO of NGL.

I was impressed with the continued growth and financial strength of NGL over the past two decades. As I learned more about the company, my interest deepened. I learned NGL was a leader in the preneed industry and how meaningful preneed insurance is for helping families plan celebrations of life on what can be an incredibly challenging day.

Preneed insurance helps to ease the burden and makes decisions about end-of-life planning less stressful, giving people time to grieve and not worry about financial issues.

NGL takes preneed seriously and continues to grow that business. Being a mid-size company, NGL is small enough to be agile and adapt to the marketplace but not so large that it falls under the weight of legacy systems and ways it’s always been done.

What was it like working with Mark L. Solverud during the transition process?

It has been a great experience working with Mark Solverud during this transition. He is a model for how a CEO could hand off a company to the next CEO in terms of being American Funeral Director • June 2019

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generous with his time, thoughts and advice – and he’s open to and interested in my thoughts on new opportunities for the company.

What is your corporate vision for NGL? Preneed is core to our vision. I see a huge need in the U.S. for the preneed business to grow. I believe there is a much larger market in terms of educating people about the value and having people preplan and prefund their funeral. We want to eliminate the burden of not having final arrangements in place for families who are facing the death of a loved one. There is a social need and I think that NGL, with our marketing partners, can make a difference.

What are your short-term goals?

Your long-term goals?

Our short-term goals are to continuously improve our product offerings in the preneed space. We want to make sure resources are allocated against new technologies that will make a better experience for both the consumer, funeral director, marketing partners and everyone involved in the preplanning process.

Our long-term goal is to make a major difference in the lives of Americans and make it easier for them to access our products and preplan.

Describe your management style.

Empowering the people around me is a cornerstone of my management style. I believe having the right people in the right roles makes a difference for a company.

I like to be very clear about why we do things and what’s important and then let the experts focus on accomplishing the vision.

When you were at Thrivent, you were part of a panel discussion about social media selling.

How important has social media American Funeral Director • June 2019

become to attract prospects, build stronger relationships with customers and grow business overall?

In the early days, when the industry was discovering emerging social media platforms, I worked with LinkedIn and a group of attorneys to help the industry think through the legal issues with leveraging social media.

I worked with key providers, including Socialware, Hearsay Social and some of the technology platforms that allow access to all social media channels from a portal.

It’s critical for people to learn and embrace social selling. It can be disruptive to the way we do things in a good way. Social media provides an opportunity to reach more people and share our stories.

If we as an industry pooled our thoughts and our resources to take advantage of these social platforms, we could help people understand how valuable it is to utilize the services that we collectively offer.

As 2018 came to a close, we saw a great deal of stock market volatility. What impact has that had on companies like NGL? The great thing about NGL is that we have a chief investment officer who does an amazing job of making sure NGL’s investment portfolio aligns with our liabilities. NGL is a financially strong and stable company.

We continue to be rated A(Excellent) by A.M. Best. We are poised well to handle market volatility, if we get it, but whatever happens with the economy, we continue to be a strong company.

At the same time, the Federal Reserve has raised interest rates.

How will that rate increase impact the industry?

There will be interest rate changes, geopolitical movements, things that move the market up and down –

that’s life in America and in the world today. Great insurance companies are good at matching their liabilities and assets so that no matter the economic situation they are prepared to handle it. I’m really impressed with NGL and our capacity to manage risk regardless of the external environment.

In December 2018, Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome H. Powell announced an increase in the benchmark interest rate, citing a “very healthy economy.” Do you agree with his assessment?

I think the economy is strong right now and there are a lot of positive indicators. There are things that concern me about the economy as well, primarily credit quality.

We want to be optimistic and believe that things will keep moving forward, but at the same time, debt and our national debt is an underlying concern. I wouldn’t be surprised if we have more of a credit crisis in the future with our industry needing to adapt to that situation.

What is the best reason to preplan ... and how can that message be best delivered to families?

The best reason to preplan is because it’s not about the person who died but about the people who loved that person. It’s about the people who are coming together to remember that life. It’s the individuals who were impacted and will continue to be impacted by their loved one long after they have passed away.

Having plans in place allow family, friends and acquaintances to start processing their grief so they can celebrate their loved one’s life and begin moving forward.

When I was a young man, I knew a pastor who said, “The way you say goodbye often has a lot to do with the way you are able to say hello.” A lot of what we do in this industry is help people say goodbye in healthy ways, 11

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so they can move forward and live a productive life after the passing of a loved one.

If we forget to remember and if we forget our connections, it undermines our future.

What is the highlight of your career so far?

There have been several highlights.

I’ve loved almost every job I’ve been in, but I would say the highlight of my career is the people I’ve worked with along the way. I’ve learned a great deal from those folks. I’ve also made some wonderful friends over the years.

What was your first job?

My very first job was working for my aunt and uncle on a rice farm as an 11-year-old driving a pickup truck and installing irrigation boxes for rice fields.

My first real job out of college was in the insurance industry and I’ve loved it ever since.

What’s changed most about life insurance over the past two decades?

Knut A. Olson (left) succeeded Mark A. Solverud earlier this year as president and CEO of National Guardian Life. (Photo courtesy of National Guardian Life)

The one thing that’s changed more than anything is the process. Technology and innovation on how people access our products is getting better and better. It impacts underwriting, issuing a policy and the number of people who have to touch the policy. I believe in the next 10 to 15 years there will be a dramatic change in processing, and we will begin to see more straightthrough processing with more being done electronically.

I don’t see it replacing the need for people to sell or talk about products.

There are and will continue to be changes in how people are able to access our products.

I don’t turn work off very well. I’m always thinking about what I do because I love it. My wife and kids know that work is part of who I am and what I do. I don’t try to separate work and home, I just let it be who I am.

How do you balance your personal and professional life?

I prefer to use the word blend over balance. My work and my personal life have always blended together. My wife, kids and grandkids have known the people I work with and am friends with throughout my career.

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What is the best book you have ever read?

It’s hard to pick the best book I’ve ever read; I’ve liked a lot of books. I enjoy reading a variety of genres from nonfiction to faith and religion, business, psychology, and current events and history.

Have you made arrangements for your own funeral?

For the past 25 years, I have had all the plans and instructions written down for my funeral. I don’t want my family to deal with waiting for my life insurance or even needing to write a check when they are paying for my funeral and that is why preneed insurance is so important.

My stepfather was a retired naval officer who passed away four years ago with a preneed policy from (the) Neptune Society. His funeral was a very important event for our family because everything went so well.

From the respect of the individuals who picked up his body to how smoothly his funeral service went, it was actually a beautiful time for our family.

I want to make similar arrangements for my family so when the time comes for my funeral, they have a positive experience.

When all is said and done, and the final chapter of your life is written, what would you like people to remember about you?

I hope people will remember how important my family was to me and how important my work was to me.

And, I hope they remember that I loved them and knew that I cared about them. • American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Financial Fitness [financial management for your business]

Is Your Funeral Business Financially Fit?

By Stephanie Castagnier Dunn, president SBA – Incredible Bank/River Valley Bank The U.S. economy is quickly approaching a market correction with eventual rate increases on the horizon. Funeral home owners need to understand the various financial metrics used by financial institutions to measure financial fitness.

With the advent of equity investors, peer-to-peer lending and an increasing number of community banks, more lending options are available to small business owners making the landscape more dynamic and complex. Being financially fit arms funeral home owners with the strength needed to optimize financial solutions. The three pinnacles of financial fitness are: • Cash flow fitness.

• Personal credit fitness.

• Financial documentation fitness.

Cash Flow Metrics – Understand and Track Metrics Cash flow is the key to a funeral home’s financial strength. To monitor cash flow as well as business financial strength, gather together monthly revenues, cost of goods, expenses, assets and liabilities and compare that data with the metric benchmarks of similar sized peer firms. This comparison can help anticipate future needed repositioning strategies. It can also 14

alert to indications on where one might implement different sales tactics, marketing campaigns, employee trainings, or cost control changes.

Implement to track and monitor the financial fitness of your business: • Track and monitor trends. A funeral home needs adequate systems for identifying the amounts of profit or loss generated by its different products and services.

This information is essential if the business comes upon a situation that might require repositioning.

It is important to track the trends in your call mix income, cost of goods, and operating margins compared to peer groups of the same size.

It is also important to know the costs of different areas of administration, so that overhead does not devour the profits made from gross margins. You may need to have a properly designed management information system, which can give you essential facts quickly and accurately to keep track of where profits and costs are coming from.

• Track frequency. Annual tracking, by itself, may not be ideal for a reposition. The metrics behind monthly profit and loss may provide opportunities for different marketing, cost control, sales, and training. Most businesses would find it empowering to produce monthly operating statements, or at minimum, quarterly statements. There are even some businesses where financial information is available in real time.

• Accounting software tools.

There are many accounting software packages, which can provide regular information. Many will extend beyond management accounts to analysis of debtors and can provide regular Key Performance Indicators. This software enables the business to keep accurate and up-to-date accounting records.

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Personal Credit Fitness – What Is it and How Can You Improve It? Credit reports are compiled by the three major credit agencies – Experian, Equifax and Transunion. They all use the same information to compile a credit report − detail of an individual’s credit accounts such as bank and credit cards as well as other credit histories such as utility accounts and any court judgements for nonpayment of debts as well as bankruptcies. Other information found in these reports are a name, date of birth, current and previous addresses and employers for the individual.

• How do I check my credit report? The three agencies mentioned above are required to provide individuals with one free credit report annually online, if requested. A business can purchase credit reports through the credit reference agency, also. There are multiple private online credit monitoring sites that you can access for a what is called a “soft” credit pull. This type of report helps avoid negatively affecting your score.

• How can I improve a poor credit store? Credit scores reflect the financial footprint of individuals and businesses. A frequent cause of a poor credit score is if an individual has made several applications for credit. So, a period of time not applying for credit will help improve your score. In addition, returning unused credit cards or consolidating debt on fewer cards will help.

Having large debts will make finance providers reluctant to lend further amounts, particularly if the minimum repayments required on those loans represent a large share of your income. Similarly, missed payments of debts (such as a mortgage) American Funeral Director • June 2019

With the advent of equity investors, peer-to-peer lending and an increasing number of community banks, more lending options are available to small business owners making the landscape more dynamic and complex. or other forms of credit such as utility bills can cause potential lenders to refuse further financing.

A period of paying bills on time without further requests for credit will help improve your score.

Stability also counts with credit assessments, so staying at the same address and getting on the electoral register demonstrates a settled individual. Individuals may be in a relationship with another person who may have a poor credit score – whether it’s a spouse, partner or just someone living at the same address. This can affect their credit score.

knowing what you are looking to accomplish with this bank: • How much am I looking to borrow?

• How long is the money needed for?

• Why is the money required – debt refinance, acquisition, partnership buyout, expansion?

• How will the business repay the loan based on your historical cash flow?

• What collateral is available?

• What does your personal financial presentation look like, personal credit, personal financial statement and ability to run this business?

Financial Documentation Fitness – Why Do I Need to Know What I Am Asking the Bank for?

You Deserve the Best from Your Bank

Most loan denials are the result of the applicant not being financially prepared with the necessary documentation during application.

Banks are not able to make credit decisions without certain documents. Have all your business and personal documentation up to date, organized and available.

Before approaching a bank, have a complete package of your last three years business and personal tax returns along with your completed application. The key is

The relationship should be reciprocal as with any business relationship: • Banks require certain information requested with their application. Ask for their complete checklist in your first conversation.

• Greater transparency leads to a better relationship. Increased information should make it easier for the bank to understand your business goals. Banks don’t like surprises, so be forthright with all the data. • 15

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On The Road [Abilene, Texas]

A Valentine’s Day to Remember For Nadene Smith and Shawna Thomas, this past Valentine’s Day could have been a tough one after both lost their husbands to cancer in 2018. Instead, their co-workers at Funeral Directors Life, a full-service preneed insurance company in Abilene, Texas, made sure it was a day full of love and tears of joy. Stan Goldstein reports “Near the end of January, I was having a discussion with our chaplain, Ray Thompson, who is on staff in Abilene, and oversees our prayer team, a group of 80-plus employees who have volunteered to be prayer intercessors,” Jeff Stewart, the executive vice president and chief marketing officer of FDLIC, said. “We both agreed that we should encourage our prayer team to remember Nadene and Shawna this year on Valentine’s Day. You know, to send them an email, give them a hug, give them a card or a gift or whatever they felt led to do,” Stewart added. “Our people took it and they ran with it.”

When Smith, an executive assistant to FDLIC President and CEO Kris Seale, and Thomas, a collection specialist, came into the office Feb. 14, there were already some flowers on their desks. That was just the start. As the day went on, there was a smorgasbord of gifts delivered from their fellow employees, including more flowers, cookies, candy, cards, homemade items, gift cards, personal notes, plants, bottles of wine and more.

There were so many gifts accumulated that Smith and Thomas needed more desks and tables to put everything on.

“When I first walked around the corner to my desk in the morning and saw a few things on my desk, the first thing I said is, ‘I shouldn’t have worn makeup today because my mascara would run.’ I had tears of joy,” Thomas said. “I felt very loved and blessed.”

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Nadene Smith, left, and Shawna Thomas are co-workers at Funeral Directors Life in Abilene, Texas. (Photo courtesy of Funeral Directors Life) Thomas’ husband, Steve, died June 25, 2018.

“I told them that my husband, up in heaven, was saying ‘Way to go! Thank you for taking care of my girl for me,’ Thomas said. “That’s the way I felt. It was very surprising, very touching, it warmed my heart and soul.”

Smith and her husband Jon, who died Aug. 3, 2018, usually celebrated Valentine’s Day on another day.

“My husband and I would have been married 29 years. We made a

pact that since Valentine’s Day can be so commercialized – you can’t find a place to eat, etc. – that we would say we love each other and celebrate it another time,” Smith said. “This year it wasn’t something that I was looking forward to. It’s really a joy as love is in the air here at the office, and people are constantly getting flowers. I just felt I would celebrate others on this day. I wasn’t negative or sad about it. I wasn’t expecting anything about it.”

American Funeral Director • June 2019

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That all changed when Smith got to her desk in the morning.

“There were little flower arrangements on my desk and a little card and I thought that is such a sweet thing! Pretty soon, a few more people came by with something and I’m thinking, ‘Maybe I missed the memo about Valentine’s Day.’ Literally people kept coming, there were homemade cookies, plaques, more.

Of all days to think of me, it was phenomenal!

“I turned to one of my co-workers and said, ‘Something is going on here!’ She said, ‘I knew you would hate all the attention!’ My desk was so full, as was my co-worker’s desk, then another desk was filled with gifts,” Smith said. “It all came with gratitude and well wishing. It was such a heartfelt example of love. I was shocked and felt so honored.”

“After Jon collapsed, Kris Seale called me into his office and told me ‘the job comes second. Jon comes first’ and that was real comforting to me,” Smith said. “The company was there for me all along the journey. I had meals, prayers etc.”

She was overwhelmed by the turnout for Jon’s funeral Aug. 8 “We had a tiny chapel that could fit about 200 people, and we thought that would be fine,” she said. “Kris allowed anyone in the office to attend, and we had close to 1,000 people there. The church livestreamed the service so all could see it.”

A Caring Company Being there for their employees is a trademark of FDLIC. “The company is a unique, caring company. There’s a lot of value as an employee, we take care of our own,” Smith said. “For instance, we began a program called ‘Simply Hands and Feet.’ Any employee, if they are in need of something, we meet that need, paint their house, etc., we all help.”

Stewart emphasizes that culture at FDLIC. “We are a company with a Christian culture and values. Part of that is caring for each other, being helpers of people,” Stewart said. “Here are these two ladies who grew to be closer friends through the unfortunate deaths of their husbands from cancer.”

Jon Smith was diagnosed with melanoma cancer about six years ago. He had been in remission but collapsed in his office June 3, 2018.

It was then found that the cancer had spread to his brain. He died two months later.

American Funeral Director • June 2019

was a processor at the time, but to spend more time with her husband, she was able to work more at home by switching to a collection specialist.

“The company knew how concerned I get when taking care of my funeral homes, and I knew I would be away a lot to be with Steve,” Thomas said. “FDLIC allowed me to become a collection specialist for CLAIMCHECK (a life insurance assignment company that is a subsidiary of Funeral Directors Life). It was the best thing I could have done. I was less stressed, I could take care of phone calls, funeral calls, and wouldn’t have to be in the office to do it. It was very humbling and a blessing.”

Thomas and Smith were acquaintances when both worked at Texas Tech University in early 2000s. They reconnected at FDLIC. “We didn’t know each other that well, but when I saw her in our current office, I said, ‘Don’t I know you from somewhere?’” Thomas said.

Supporting Each Other

Shawna Thomas was overwhelmed by the amount of gifts given to her by coworkers on Valentine’s Day. (Photo courtesy of Funeral Directors Life) Smith was the executive director of the Abilene Youth Sports Authority.

Three weeks after his death, ground was broken on the Dodge Jones Youth Sports Center – a facility Smith had done years of fundraising and work for its development. The multimillion-dollar facility, which is scheduled to open in 2020, will play host to many youth sporting events.

Steve Thomas was a painter, and he also worked in construction and in the oil fields. He was diagnosed with liver cancer in January 2018. Shawna

Smith contacted Thomas when she found out Steve was ill.

“Nadene and Jon reached out to me and Steve, and we started to go to things at church for healing and when they had seminars. They came to our house, came to the hospital,” Thomas said. “When Steve and Jon would come up to the office, everyone wanted to pray for them.”

“When Steve passed, we surrounded Shawna,” Smith said. “We have since gone to a ladies retreat together and have gotten together to swap stories.”

“When Shawna’s husband Steve was battling liver cancer, Nadene and her husband reached out through a church group where a group of people meet on a regular basis to do devotional Bible studies,” Stewart said. “Nadene and Jon were the leaders of this life group. We have a corporate office of 140 people in Abilene. It’s a very friendly office 17

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where people try to take care of each other. Nadene is one of those leaders who initiates things.”

On Valentine’s Day, Smith was taken aback because she’s usually the one doing the giving.

“I’ve done these blessings for so many others, I’ve seldom been the receiver, it was very unusual for me.

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I’m much more comfortable giving,” Smith said. “Plus Jon knowing Shawna, he would have been rejoicing about this and been so grateful.

“It was so humbling, so overwhelming. It was so sweet that people remember you. There was an outpouring of love. It was precious.”

As Thomas left for work on the

morning of Feb. 14, she thought of some of the special things Steve had done for her in the past.

“I tried to get it out of my head before I got to work. I was kind of somber, but then I looked at the card Steve had given me last year, a teddy bear, and he always got me flowers and sent them to work,” Thomas said. “One time he came up here and had a red veil across his face. I wasn’t paying attention, I saw this red go by me. He had a big heart sign on his front and on the back, it said, ‘Valentine, I love you.’ He gave me flowers and everyone else in my department flowers.

“This year, he wouldn’t want me to be sad, he would want me to remember the good times we had.”

For Thomas and Smith, their coworkers certainly made sure it was not a sad day for them but a day they would cherish.

“I cried tears of joy. There was this happiness of having so many people around me who love me and I work with every day. I love them,” Thomas said. “As more people kept coming by and bringing me things, I wanted to know who it was all from. I wanted to make sure I thanked them. I went around hugging everyone.

“My children were moved by it, too. They said I work with a great group of people.”

Smith agrees.

“I walked over to Shawna and gave her a big hug and kidded her, saying, ‘I was sorry I didn’t get the memo.’ Things like this really set our company apart.”

Stewart was proud of what the FDLIC employees did for Smith and Thomas.

“Our people took what could have been a downer of a day and made it positive. Shawna and Nadene felt loved,” Stewart said. “They both speak outwardly of their husbands, and it brought back some good memories of Valentine’s Days past with them. It brought about a vehicle to help these ladies to talk about their memories.

The day was a major success.” • American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Cover Story

By Patti Martin Bartsche

Fathers & Sons Dad, father, papa, pops – no matter how you say it, the word has the same meaning around the world.

For many sons, their fathers have had a significant impact on their outlook and perspective of life. They taught them the difference between right and wrong, how to treat others and the values they choose to live by. And for some, their dads have played an even bigger role: They have inspired their sons to follow in their footsteps.

To mark Father’s Day, we look at three funeral director families who share a respect built on mutual admiration, good humor and just being there.

John C. “Putter” Lutz & John C. Lutz II Lutz Funeral Home Inc. | Mount Penn, Pennsylvania

Around the Berks County, Pennsylvania, area, the words “Lutz” and “funeral service” go hand in hand.

It makes perfect sense, since Lutz Funeral Home Inc. has been serving the community since 1884.

It all started when John F. Lutz, a cabinetmaker by trade, who was also an experienced casket maker, made an easy transition into the funeral industry. J. Elmer Lutz Sr., John F.’s son, followed in his father’s footsteps, building the firm’s current facility in 1931.

The funeral home eventually passed to a member of the third generation, J. Elmer “Buddy” Lutz Jr., 20

and then to the current owner and operator, John C. “Putter” Lutz, who is fourth generation. John C. Lutz II, the fifth generation, has now joined his father.

“There’s a lot of history around here ... and we’re proud of that,” Putter said. “We’ve been around for 135 years ... and we want to be around for another 135 years.”

Although he would occasionally work at the funeral home on weekends growing up, Putter never felt pressured to follow in his father, grandfather or great-grandfather’s footsteps.

In his senior year of high school, he began asking himself what he was

going to do. “I’m the youngest of four, and my father was really upfront and matter-of-fact with me,” Putter said. “He said it was great if I joined the family business, but it was also my decision. I decided to give it a go ... that was 40 years ago.”

Rather than feeling pressured, Putter looked at it as an opportunity.

An opportunity he fully embraced when, at 23, he became the firm’s owner when his father retired.

But as he grew the business, married and had children of his own, the 58year-old Putter said it was important that his children – two sons and a daughter – chart their own career paths.

American Funeral Director • June 2019

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John C. “Putter” Lutz and his son, John C. Lutz II, enjoying working together at their buddy desk.

(Photo courtesy of Lutz Funeral Home Inc.)

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“I never wanted any of my children to feel that they had to join the family business,” he said. “It needed to be something that they wanted to do.”

And even when oldest son John C. Lutz II expressed an interest in joining the family business after high school, his father encouraged him to go to college and explore what he wanted to do.

“Growing up, I was always at the funeral home,” John said. “I did a little bit of everything helping my dad.”

After graduation – and with his father’s blessing – John headed off to college, earning a bachelor’s degree and then pursuing a career in pharmaceutical sales.

But after about seven years, John decided that he wanted to return to funeral service.

“I had the opportunity to try something else, but I realized that I was really still interested to get back into the funeral business,” John said.

“It’s just something I knew I wanted to do.”

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John returned to the funeral home, working full time with his father while obtaining his mortuary science degree.

Today, John is a not only a fifthgeneration funeral director – he’s also the fifth John Lutz to be part of the business.

“The groundwork (for this business) was laid from the very beginning ... and each generation continues to step up and keep up to meet changing consumer wants and needs,” the 37-year-old said.

Putter agrees. “We are very proud of our history and the generations that have come before,” he said.

“But we also realize that we have to focus on the future ... and where we go from here.”

There’s no question, Putter said, that times were different when he was starting out. “Obviously there’s been a great shift in cremation,” Putter said, adding that a cremation rate of 4% to 5% of the firm’s business when he started out now hovers around 45% of the business.

“It’s all about having conversations with cremation families, explaining what their options are,” John said. “Yes, you can have the traditional viewing with the funeral service; yes, the remains can be interred or buried.”

The rise in cremation rates also spurred the Lutz family to construct a private, onsite 625-square-foot crematory several years ago.

Putter gives credit to his son for the project. “Had John not been onboard and got us moving forward, I probably would not have undertaken such a tremendous addition,” Putter said.

While many things have changed, one constant is the compassion and care the Lutz staff provides to every person who walks through the door.

“We are proud to embrace traditional values, diversity and innovation in honoring the spirit and life of each person we serve,” Putter said.

It’s a lesson, John added, that he’s learned watching his father.

“He’s the most kind, caring and compassionate person I know,” John American Funeral Director • June 2019

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From left: The Exceptional Merit plaque hangs proudly in the Lutz Funeral Home. Putter Lutz with his grandson at a golf tournament. J. Chandler III often helps out his father and grandfather at the funeral home.

(Photos courtesy of Lutz Funeral Home Inc.)

said. “It’s just who he is ... he wants to help ease the burden for people during one of the most hurtful times of his life. I’ve seen with my own eyes the impact he has had on the community and the passion he has for what he does.”

These days, father and son can be found working side by side at their buddy desk.

The two call themselves the best of friends, enjoying the time they spend together in and outside of work.

And while they don’t necessarily always agree, “we listen to what the other person is saying and we respect each other,” John said.

“He’s gentle and patient with people, far better at it than I am,” John laughed. “He’s very giving and generous.”

“I definitely don’t really know about the early generations, but John definitely has it over my dad and myself,” Putter said. “He’s compassionate and has a real competitive edge ... he really does a great job at selling us and what we do.”

And what Lutz Funeral Home does American Funeral Director • June 2019

is design the most fitting memorial or funeral service to honor a loved one’s memory and pay tribute to the person’s life achievements and experiences.

“What we want to be able to do, going forward is offer even more family experiences for the families we serve,” Putter said. “Really separate ourselves with our facility and services.”

And that, John said, means listening to what people are saying, asking questions and then creating something that is unique and not cookie cutter.

“When I was starting out, everything was done the same ... it was cut and dry,” he said. “That’s not the case today ... and we’re mindful of that. What we will focus on is being the best we can for the families we serve and will continue to serve.”

What else does the future hold?

Well, John and his wife, Amy, do have two sons, J. Chandler III, 8, and Hudson, 6.

As his name indicates, Chandler is a “third” and the J. does stand for John. Does that mean there’s a sixth John Lutz waiting in the

wings to join the firm?

Like his father, John says there’s no pressure for Chandler (or Hudson) to join the firm.

“I want them to find happiness in whatever they do, whether it’s in the funeral home or not,” he said. “My dad did not pressure me, and I will not pressure my sons.”

“I look at things differently since I went to college and had a successful career,” he added. “I saw the grass on the other side and still made this decision. I want them to have the opportunity to make their own choices.”

Still, both boys are frequent visitors to the funeral home.

“They love being here,” John said.

“They love interacting with people, and they are so very kind.”

Putter agrees.

“Life is short, you need to be truly happy in whatever it is you do,” he said. “The boys love coming here now, but if the day comes that they want to do something different, that’s fine. I want them to find their happiness ... whatever it is.”

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John W. Ford & Daniel J. Ford Alderson-Ford Funeral Homes | Cheshire, Naugatuck and Waterbury, Connecticut

It was personal tragedies, John W. Ford explains, that helped him find his way into funeral service.

“I was 12 when my father died suddenly,” the chairman of AldersonFord Funeral Homes said. “I didn’t understand what was happening ... and I wanted to know more about funeral service.”

So a young John wrote to several organizations and publications (including American Funeral Director) to learn more about funeral service.

John went on to write a paper in eighth grade about a career in funeral service, and by the time he was 16, he was working part time in a local funeral home.

During his senior year in high school, John’s mother died. Faced with his “what’s next,” John opted for mortuary school, graduating from the New England Institute of Funeral Service in Boston in 1968.

In May 1970 – following his apprenticeship – John joined Alderson Funeral Homes. “That was 49 years ago,” the 73-year-old said with a laugh. “I think I made the right career choice.”

John quickly rose up the ranks at Alderson, becoming a manager in 1970; a partner in 1983; the owner (with two partners) in 1987; and the sole owner in 2007.

While times have changed – cremation continues its upward tick and fewer people define themselves as religious – what hasn’t changed is Ford’s belief in serving the community with grace and compassion.

“That is who we are at our core as funeral directors,” John said. “It is important – no, necessary – that we provide those who are grieving with a supportive environment in which they can begin to find closure, say goodbye 24

and come to terms with the loss.”

It’s a way of doing business that is shared by John’s son, Daniel J. Ford, who was made executive vice president in 2009. Four years later, he bought the firm from his father.

“When I was young, being close with dad, we did a lot together,” Daniel said. “Whenever he had to go out at night, I was right there with him. Growing up in the industry, I had a front seat to what funeral service was all about from the inside out.”

So it was a surprise to no one that 12 days after his high school graduation, Daniel enrolled at the New England Institute at Mount Ida College.

His apprenticeship was done at a local funeral home.

And while Dan knew he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, he also knew that he wasn’t going to go “all in” right out of college. While working part time at Alderson’s, Dan also attended a local community college studying fire science.

After many years of volunteering, Dan was hired as a career firefighter in the Naugatuck Fire Department in 1997, and after 11 years of service retired in October 2008.

“I was able to work part time with my dad, and, at the same time, work as a firefighter,” Dan said. “It was the best of both worlds.”

When he retired, Dan knew it was time to join Alderson’s “100 percent.”

“It was in my blood,” the 44-yearold said. “It’s what I was meant to do.”

It was also a career path made without any parental interference. “I was never pushed into going to mortuary school,” Dan said. “My mother and father believed very strongly in letting things play out ... not push-

ing me in any direction. There was never any assumption that I would join the family business.”

But since he did, John was elated.

“There’s something special about being able to work alongside your child,” he said. “It’s very humbling.”

When it comes to their working relationship, the men agree they’re very much like a married couple.

“One of the first things we learned is that we have to leave work at work,” Dan said. “We’ve also figured out that when we have a heated discussion, at the end of the day, we agree to disagree.”

It is also important to acknowledge when the other person is right. “‘You’re right,’ is a powerful acknowledgement,” John added.

Without question, the most positive aspect of the working relationship is the understanding of where the other person is coming from, Dan said. “Something may not have worked for Dad in 1989, but it’s a new day, so we’ll try it again. You have to be open to new ideas, trying new things.”

With changing consumer preferences, the Fords agree, funeral professionals have to leave the mindset of “this is the way we’ve always done things” behind.

“You can’t live in the past,” Dan noted. “It can’t stay the same ... that’s not what consumers want.

They don’t want the cookie-cutter approach to funeral service.”

Which is why, he added, every Alderson-Ford service is unique ... just like the individual’s life.

“People just aren’t aware the options available to them, especially with cremation,” John said. “They can have a simple cremation with a memorial service, a private visitation American Funeral Director • June 2019

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John W. Ford and his son Daniel J. Ford.

(Photo courtesy of Alderson-Ford Funeral Homes)

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prior to cremation or a church service with a beautiful urn. It’s all about having conservations with families.”

And few do it better than his father, Dan said.

“Growing up, I watched him morph from worker bee to manager to owner of his own rooftop (which has grown to three locations),” Dan said. “His commitment to funeral service and the families we serve is second to none.”

Just recently, Dan added, a family came in to make arrangements, and “we spent the majority of the time talking about my father.”

John Ford may be in quasi retirement, but make no mistake, “He’s the man,” his son said.

“He’s always around if a family needs him – or if I need him,” Dan

said. “He’s just great to watch in action, he’s just able to make a connection with everyone he comes in contact with. I’m so happy to be able to work with him – even happier that he’s my father.”

The pair not only shares a commitment to funeral service, but a commitment to their community.

“I’ve learned from Mr. Alderson and my father how important it is for a funeral director to be a part of the community, and I’ve essentially adopted that belief,” Dan said. “It’s important for the community to see you as a human being, and it is essential for you to know what is going on in your community.”

John calls his son a “chip off the old block,” adding that his son is involved in the towns the firm serves as well as

serving as a volunteer firefighter. “He’s making such a positive impact in the community ... and I am so proud.”

As a father, it’s been a joy watching his son grow “from this young kid into a young man who knew what he wanted and who has been able to touch so many families in a positive way. That’s all a father could ask for,” John said.

Dan said he could not have asked for a better role model. “My father was – and continues to be – there for me, both personally and professionally,” he said.

It’s a path Dan is traveling with his own children, Ryan, 17, and Emma, 15. “I want to be there and support them in everything they do,” Dan said.

“If they want to enter funeral service, great. If not, that’s equally fine.”

John W. Ford (left) and Daniel J. Ford (right) were presented the National Funeral Directors Association’s 2018 Pursuit of Excellence award by then NFDA President Kenneth A. Cahall. (Photo courtesy of Alderson-Ford Funeral Homes)

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Joseph Eugene Pray, Joseph Ernest Pray & Joseph Tyler Pray Pray Funeral Home | Charlotte, Michigan

Joseph Eugene Pray was born to be a funeral director.

“My parents were funeral directors and I grew up in the funeral home,” the 91-year-old said. “From the time I could walk and talk and carry a chair, I was helping out, and the older I got, the more involved I got.”

There was never a question what Joe Sr., as he’s often called, was going to do with his life.

“I never thought about doing anything else but funeral service,” he said.

“It’s what I was born to do ... it’s a really rewarding career.”

Pray Funeral Home traces its start in funeral service back to 1921 when the father-and-son team of Ernest G. and Myron E. Pray purchased an existing furniture store and “Undertaking” company in downtown Charlotte, Michigan. The partnership was built on the philosophy of “treating families we serve as if they were our own family.”

Times may have changed, but that philosophy continues on with his son and grandson, Joe Sr. is quick to point out. “Helping people is what we do, what we’ve always done and what we will continue to do. We try to make things as easy for families as possible, helping them every step of the way ... including afterward. We’ve never looked at it as aftercare ... it’s more helping people who are part of our community, our friends.”

While Joe Sr. has taken a step back in recent years – although he can be found in the funeral home most mornings – he is proud of those who came before him – and the generations following in his footsteps.

Like many kids who grew up with funeral director parents, Joe Ernest Pray – Joe Sr.’s son – did a variety of jobs around the funeral home growing up.

“I mowed the lawn and washed the cars as a way to earn money,” Joe E., as he’s often referred to, said. “But in 28

the back of my mind, I really wanted to be a race car driver.”

While he didn’t become a race car driver, Joe E. did join the family business in 1979 after graduating from Wayne State University School of Mortuary Science.

“Although I checked out a couple of other majors for curiosity’s sake, I decided the funeral business was what I wanted to do,” he said.

At no time, Joe E. is quick to add, did he feel pressured to become the fourth generation of Prays to work at the firm.

“It was my decision to become a funeral director,” he said. “My parents gave me the freedom to choose ... but I can tell you they were proud when I chose funeral service.”

Working with his father is a gift, Joe E. said.

“The best part of working with my dad is seeing him every day,” he said.

“My dad’s a great person, he has a great outlook on life and he’s a great funeral director.”

It’s equally wonderful, Joe E. adds, to be able to work side-by-side with his son, Joseph Tyler Pray, aka Tyler.

“It’s a gift being able to work with Tyler,” Joe E. said. “He really understands the business, is open to trying new things and has great compassion for the families we serve. He makes a father proud.”

Father and son see eye-to-eye on most things, Joe E. said, and when there are differing opinions, Tyler will express his point of view and give examples of “why this is the best way.”

It’s a family trait, Joe E. said with a laugh.

“When I came up with an idea that was different than my dad’s, he would always say, ‘Go ahead and do it, it’s your future,’” Joe E. said. “And I think I’ve probably said that exact thing to my son a time or two.”

Unlike his grandfather, Tyler didn’t have that certainty that he would one

day become a funeral director.

“Growing up around the funeral home was completely normal for me,” the 37-year-old said. So normal, in fact, that Tyler wrote an essay about embalming as part of a high school English assignment. “I read it to the class and everyone was interested in what my family did,” he said. “I even submitted it to the NFDA magazine ... and they published it.”

While he didn’t know what his career path was going to be, Tyler did know he would not be going straight to mortuary school. Rather, he attended Kalamazoo College, where he obtained a bachelor’s degree in English, studied in Thailand for about a year and spent some time in New York.

It was then that Tyler made the decision to attend mortuary school, graduating from his grandfather and father’s alma mater in 2006. “I really enjoyed mortuary school, but I still wasn’t sure,” he said.

So, with his father’s blessing, Tyler headed to Florida, where he had long dreamed of making a career doing barefoot waterskiing. “My dad was like ‘go, try it,’” Tyler said. “He was so supportive. I never felt pressure to be in funeral service. It was more important for him that I did all the things I dreamed of doing.”

His dreams, though, eventually brought him back to Charlotte – and Pray Funeral Home.

“It was my decision ... I felt a sense of stewardship, not only to this business but also to my family and the community,” Tyler said. “I wanted to be a part of sustaining it.”

And while there can be struggles and differences of opinion, the good thing about working with family is “we can make things happen ... this is home base and it allows us a lot of freedom,” Tyler said.

For the Prays, those changes have included an emphasis of a funeral being the celebration of the treasured American Funeral Director • June 2019

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The Pray family (from left) Joseph Ernest Pray, Joseph Tyler Pray, Joseph Anders Pray and Joseph Eugene Pray, in front of a 1930 Meteor Ambulance owned by Pray Funeral Home.

(Photo credit: Amanda Lipsey/Henwood Studio)

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memories of a person’s life. Families are encouraged to bring in touchstone items, photos or mementos that have stories connected with them, to recall the memories of the deceased.

“We have developed our talents and the tools to create these meaningful experiences to help a family draw support from the community,” Joe E. said. “What we’re able to create is an inspirational – even transformational – celebration of life.”

Joe E. points to a 2017 service that featured a full-sized pool table, putting green, and bowling balls and pins, to celebrate the life of Evan “Drew” Adams.

“The uniquely personal service provided guests the chance to remember and celebrate a one-of-a-kind man,” Joe E. said. “Not all services are going

to be that elaborate, but all lives should be celebrated.”

Watching his son and grandson grow the business makes Joe Sr. happy.

“Everybody has their own ideas ... and you have to keep things moving forward,” he said. “My dad and my grandpa did, and I did things that I thought was improving the business.

Tyler and Joe E. feel the same way.”

And while those changes may come with some disagreements, “at the end of the day, we’re family and it’s going to stay that way,” Joe Sr. pointed out.

It’s a gift to work with family, especially his family, Tyler added. “I’ve been so lucky to learn from my father and grandfather,” he said. “Many people have said, and I have to agree, is the he is the picture of a funeral

director should be. He lives every minute of his life to the fullest, and he’s done exactly what he wanted to do being a funeral director.”

With Joe Sr. still going strong at 91, the 61-year-old Joe E. isn’t even thinking about retirement. “If I stay healthy, I plan on being here for a good long time,” he said. “Where else would I go?”

Which is good news, considering there’s a sixth generation of Prays, lurking in the wings, Tyler and Dana Pray’s boys, Anders, 5, and Alden, 6 months.

“I would love it if either boy followed in my footsteps,” Tyler said.

“But it’s going to be their decision, just like it was my father’s decision and my decision. We’re just going to have to wait and see.” •

The Pray family (from left): Joseph Eugene Pray, Joseph Anders Pray, Joseph Tyler Pray and Joseph Ernest Pray.

(Photo credit: Amanda Lipsey/Henwood Studio)

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Technology

By Welton Hong

Take the Initiative to Generate

Positive Reviews Maybe you’re proactively working to generate positive reviews for your funeral home. Maybe you take advantage of every opportunity to politely ask satisfied families to review your services on Google and Facebook. Maybe you take time every week to monitor your firm’s online reputation and take steps to protect it.

And if you’re already doing all those things, that’s great. I’ll be honest: You’re all set. You can skip the rest of this article. Heck, I appreciate the fact that you read this far.

But the reality is that most funeral directors are not doing much to generate positive reviews for their businesses. By every indication, close to half of them still aren’t doing anything at all. If a positive online review happens to show up, that’s great, but it’s nothing worth aggressively pursuing.

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Before writing this article, I searched for Google reviews of funeral homes in 10 American cities with metro area populations over 200,000. (I won’t specifically name the cities so as not to disparage anyone.)

You might expect the larger funeral homes in these well-known cities to have 80, 90, even upward of 100 Google reviews by now. But that’s not the case.

In one, the most-reviewed firm had 26 reviews. The runner-up had only 13. No other funeral home in

this relatively large metro area had reviews in the double digits.

The same was true in many other similarly sized regions. There was the occasional outlier: One area had a funeral home with 44 reviews – a fraction of what it should have, but comparatively spectacular in the industry.

This is understandable to a certain degree. Many funeral homes still don’t prioritize aggressive marketing in general. They’re decidedly less inclined to promote themselves online. And many funeral directors American Funeral Director • June 2019

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remain uncomfortable with pursuing online reviews from families, particularly soon after providing services.

It might look like I left out something obvious there: People are far less inclined to take it upon themselves to review a funeral home that helped their family than they are a hotel or restaurant.

Of course that’s true, but that’s also the very point I’m making: If you ran a hotel or restaurant, you wouldn’t have to be aggressive about soliciting reviews. You’d get them whether you want them or not.

At a funeral home, you must take the initiative. If you don’t set goals for positive review generation and stick to them, you’ll never hit the quality and quantity “tipping points” that will make your firm dominate local competitors in search results.

Even worse, if you’re sitting back and being entirely passive about online reviews, about 80 percent of the time you'll either be receiving no reviews or negative ones.

Families don’t necessarily think to submit a review of a funeral home, especially when the death of their loved one is still fresh in their minds. You could provide the most amazing service in the history of the profession, but it won’t necessarily occur to the family to review you.

On the other hand, if something goes wrong and any member of the family is extremely angry and/or disappointed, it’s a pretty good bet that someone will be fast to post a scorching review.

In that way, a funeral home is just like most other businesses: You typically must make a concerted effort to generate plenty of positive reviews, but you don’t have to do anything to get hit with negative ones. And occasionally you’ll get hit with a two-star or one-star review even if you did a fine job, because people, by their very nature, are sometimes irrational or illogical. That can be exacerbated when they’re still dealing with grief.

In other words, there’s every reason to dedicate yourself to proactively generating positive reviews. It essentially works as free marketing for your business. Every year, Google factors your firm’s overall rating (in Google reviews) higher in its algorithms. Why would you put a lot of time and money into improving your SEO while ignoring one of main factors in local rankings?

And as I’ve noted before, this is not simply a matter of having a five-star rating (either on Google or other platforms). On virtually any review site, but especially on Google, the quantity of reviews your funeral home gets actually matters more than the quality.

This is case dependent, naturally. Would you rather have 55 reviews with a 2.8 overall rating or 45 reviews with a 4.6 overall rating? In that situation, you’re much better with the latter. Many people won't bother with a business that averages less than a three-star rating, and that’s particularly true in death care.

However, what if I told you that a business that has 30 reviews with a 4.4 overall rating is viewed far more American Funeral Director • June 2019

favorably by Google than one with just four reviews but a perfect 5.0 rating?

It’s true. Google doesn’t trust very small sample sizes.

Neither do people searching the internet. The more reviews you get, the more likely you are to appear in the top three listings of Google’s search results for your area.

The goal isn’t perfection. It isn’t to try to maintain a flawless five-star rating, regardless of how few reviews comprise that mark. It’s to go out and generate a lot of reviews. The ones you solicit are naturally more likely to be positive than ones in which you played no active role. And there’s no better way to mitigate the occasional negative review than by boosting your average with several positive ones.

I know this message won’t resonate with everyone.

Many funeral directors remain reluctant to solicit reviews, even though it can be done in a very thoughtful, professional way. I just don’t want that to be the case for your firm.

If your competitors won’t do it, that’s fine. That’s all the more reason for you to take the initiative right now.

Be the first firm in your area to reach 25 reviews. Then go for 50. Then 75, 100 and so on. You’ll be amazed how easy it is to amass reviews once you get the ball rolling.

You just need to go for it. •

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Business

By John T. McQueen

You Had Me at

Hello!

Many of you may remember the 1996 movie “Jerry Maguire” starring Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger as Dorothy Boyd.

There were several famous lines, but two are the most memorable – and they tie in perfectly when it comes to capturing the call.

The first was early on when Jerry, a sports agent, was shouting over the phone, “Show me the money!” The second was near the end when Jerry was professing his love for Dorothy and she replied, “You had me at hello!”

So, what does all this have to do with capturing the call?

Well, the only difference between the movie and what we do every day is that we do it in reverse. By using the skills shared in this article, not only will you have them at hello, but by the end of the call, they will show you the money.

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Answering the Call To effectively share the proper way to answer the call, we must go back to some basics. For many, this section may be a great refresher for the skills you already possess. For others, this may provide you with new skills or a better understanding of why they are necessary if you want to successfully convert callers into customers.

When it comes to successful phone skills, it’s all in the numbers, or more appropriately, the magic number. Proper phone skills rely on the magic number of three. This

magic number applies from the number of rings to the way in which you answer the phone and the way in which you end the call.

How quickly should you answer the telephone when it rings? Phone gurus state that a business phone should be answered within three rings. In fact, many experts state that it should not be answered on the first ring because it gives the impression to the caller that you either have no business or are too anxious for business. However, they also state that you should answer the phone by the third ring. If a American Funeral Director • June 2019

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business phone rings more than three times, the caller begins to feel that you are either not open or are too busy with other customers and won’t have adequate time to spend with them.

According to Nancy Friedman, The Telephone Doctor, the most effective way of answering your business phone is to do three things.

First, you want to provide a buffer statement. Next, you want to provide your company name.

Finally, you want to provide your name. Then stop! Anything after your name erases your name. The initial greeting needs to end with your name.

You’re probably wondering why you wouldn’t also include “How may I help you?” It’s unnecessary in the initial greeting. You are there to help. You’re there to answer the call.

“How can I help you” isn’t bad, but it’s a semi-useless statement, an interruptible statement, and often an ineffective one.

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What is a Buffer and Why Is it Important?

The buffer is the greeting. It’s the telephone handshake or your welcome statement. It’s anything that warms the call, such as “Thanks for calling,” “good morning,”“good afternoon,” “Merry Christmas,” etc. It doesn’t matter what your buffer is, but it matters that it is there and buffers the company’s name. Simply blurting out the funeral home name without a buffer is considered cold and rude.

A buffer is also used because research has shown that most callers do not hear the first few words that are spoken. As the phone is ringing, most callers are thinking about what they want to say and therefore don’t hear your first few words. Think about it: Have you ever called somewhere or had someone call you and they simply blurt out the company name and you’re not sure you called the right place?

So, what’s the right buffer statement for a funeral home? I like “Thank you

for calling” for a variety of reasons.

Have you ever called a company and they said “Good morning,” but it was afternoon or “Good afternoon,” but it was morning? Also, when someone has just lost their loved one, it’s usually not a “good morning.” In fact, some funeral directors have experienced the wrath of the family for greeting them with “good morning.”

By using “Thank you for calling,” you’re always right.

Next comes the company’s name, as it is the key element in the greeting. After you welcome the caller, they want to make sure they have called the right place, so stating the company’s name is vitally important. Also, positioning it after the buffer ensures that if something is cut off or not heard by the caller, it’s not the company’s name that gets cut off but rather the buffer statement.

Remember the famous saying from the old TV show “Dragnet”… “Just the facts, ma’am.” Same goes for your name. Simply state your name

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and only your name. It can be your first name or your first and last name, but that’s all. Don’t add anything to it like “How may I help you?” or “speaking” such as, “Mary speaking.” Simply state your name and then stop! Anything else erases your name.

As the Telephone Doctor states, two important things happen when you use this three-step process when answering the telephone. First, it speeds the rapport-building process with the caller. Second, when you end with your name, 80% of the time the caller will immediately give you their name.

If the caller does not provide you with their name automatically, there is no harm in asking. However, it is best to allow them to tell you why they are calling as they typically have their question on their mind and are more receptive to answering your questions once they’ve asked what is on their mind. At that point, you can always say something like, “For the

purposes of this call, may I ask your name?” Most of the time, they will gladly give it to you. If they do, write it down and use it whenever possible.

By using the caller’s name, you will build rapport and trust. If they don’t give you their name, no worries, simply move forward in the conversation.

So, now that we know the three essential steps to answering the initial phone call, let’s put it all together and see how it will sound. “Thank you for calling XYZ Funeral Home.

This is John Doe.” Obviously, you’ll want to insert your funeral home or cemetery name and your personal name here, but you get the idea.

From there, simply let the conversation begin.

There is much more involved in basic phone skills training than can be covered in a single article. Therefore, I will just list the other items here that are essential in every phone call. Be sure to speak slowly and clearly. Use a warm tone of voice and avoid

industry jargon. Use the caller’s name whenever possible and be present; in other words, don’t type or read emails while talking on the phone. Also, be an active listener – one who listens to understand as opposed to one who listens to respond. Most importantly, remember to smile, as a smile can be heard on the other end of the phone.

One final subject that’s important in the basics of phone skills is transferring the call. Many funeral homes have a receptionist who answers the phone and then transfers callers to a funeral director, preneed counselor, or other office staff for assistance.

Let’s take a quick look at how best to transfer a call. We’ll then conclude this section with a sample call from start through transfer to give you a feel for how you can make a huge impact on the customer, leaving them saying, “You had me at hello!”

To successfully transfer the call, we need to identify who the appropriate recipient of the call should be. We don’t want to give the bad first

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impression that many credit card companies do by continuing to transfer the caller from one department to another. We want to get it right the first time. One of the most important steps in getting it right is to always ask permission from the caller before transferring the call. For example, “Mrs. Smith, may I transfer your call to David, one of our funeral directors, to assist you?”

So, let’s bring it all home and see how it might flow from start to finish.

• Thank you for calling Anytown Funeral Home, this is Mary.

• Hi Mary, my name is Sally Jones and I’m calling to obtain pricing information on cremation.

• Mrs. Jones, you have definitely called the right place. As you may know, Anytown Funeral Home is the expert in the area on cremation.

May I ask if a death has already occurred?

• Yes, it has. My husband passed away this morning at the local hospital after battling cancer.

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• My sincere condolences, Mrs. Jones, on your loss. With your permission, I would like to transfer you to John, one of our cremation specialists, who will be able to answer all your questions and walk you through the entire process.

Would that be all right with you?

Capturing the Call Now that we have successfully answered the call and transferred it to one of our cremation specialists, let’s delve deeper into how to capture the call, ultimately winning the customer’s business.

The most misunderstood thing about price shoppers for everyone in our industry, as well as other industries, is that the price shopper call is not about price. Yes, they may want a price from you, but the main purpose of their call is not price. So, if it’s not about price, then what is it about?

It’s about help! The caller is looking for help from you. So, if the

caller is calling for help, why do they ask about prices? Well, that’s simple.

Price is the universal language we all speak. When making an unfamiliar or infrequent purchase, or when the consumer is unsure what they should ask, they ask about price.

Think about some of your previous purchases, whether they were appliances, automobiles, a Blu-ray player, or jewelry, to name a few.

As consumers, when we are uncertain or uneducated on a subject, we ask the age-old question, “How much does it cost?” Therefore, our job is to shift the focus of the call from the price of our services to helping the caller solve his or her problem. Solving their problem is how you win the game.

How do we shift from price? We do it through education. Through education we can eliminate the objections of price and refocus the caller on the value of the services we provide. If we educate the family on

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their options, they become a better educated consumer, which in turn allows them to make the best decision possible for themselves and their loved ones rather than simply basing their decisions on price.

Does this mean they will never choose the very basic or least expensive offering? No! But, it does mean that if they do choose the minimal services offered, they will have done so as a well-informed buyer. So, how do we get the price shopper to allow us to educate them on what the possibilities are? We do so by asking questions – preferably open-ended questions – that build rapport. We also use value statements that show the benefits to them of using certain items or services in a way that educates them rather than selling them.

Also, it is important to remember that people buy from people they know and trust, and that is why it is so important to build rapport during the phone call. The only way to truly build rapport is through two-way communication, and the best way to get two-way communication started is by asking questions. Open-ended questions – those that solicit a more indepth answer than just “yes” or “no” – are the best, as they tend to keep the conversation going and provide insight into the customer’s wants, needs and desires. However, using questions that cause the customer to pause and think

42

due to their uncertainty can be a big help, too. Here are two great questions that can be used to get the conversation started and move away from simply providing a price: 1. “I would be happy to provide you with that information. In order to ensure the information, I am giving you is correct, may I ask you a few questions first?”

In more than 35 years, I have never had someone tell me “no,” because who wants to get wrong information, right? This question also sets the caller up to allow you to ask questions and probe a little deeper as they have now given you permission to do so.

2. “Has anyone ever taken the time to share with you all of your options as they relate to __________?”

This question is great because it can be used for everything we do from cremations to caskets and vaults to the viewing of the deceased and more. It’s also great because no one has ever said, “Yes, all my options have been explained.” Instead, the typical response is, “Uh, well, I don’t know,” to which you can reply, “I understand. With your permission, I’d like to take just a couple of minutes to share with you what options are available for you and your family as it relates to __________.” Again, they are now giving you permission to expound on

what you do rather than focusing on what it costs.

The next step is the use of value statements (aka benefit statements).

These are simple, concise statements that build value into our services and products for the consumer. They are important because consumers are still willing to spend money (even on funerals) if they see the value they will receive from selecting a service or product. Creating a value statement enables you to communicate how you are better and different from other providers. Value statements describe how the customer will benefit by allowing you to serve them in their time of need.

A common error many people make is focusing on the “feature” rather than the “benefit.” It’s important to remember that benefits sell … features do not! It’s the old acronym “WIIFM”: Customers want to know “What’s In It For Me?” A feature for your funeral home might be, “We offer the area’s only on-premise, private crematory.” The benefit (value) to having the crematory is “We don’t subcontract any of our services to third-party providers, ensuring you the highest chain of custody and care for your mom’s remains.” A great way to stay focused on benefits over features is to place the following simple statement in front of it: “What this means to you is …”

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Securing the Direct Cremation Call … and Then Some Our goal should always be to help families grieve in the most productive way. Although not all customers will be open to services, as funeral professionals, we know that many of the most notable grief psychologists, such as Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., have long since taught that to heal in a healthy way we must embrace our internal grief and turn it into external mourning. To do so, these experts highly recommend honoring the life through ceremony. So, how are we able to potentially move customers from choosing a direct cremation to more? Here are a few easy and simple ways to do just that. Will they work every time? The answer is no. But, if they work 20%, 30% or 40% of the time, what will that do for the families and what will it do for our bottom line?

Change your terminology. Stop using words like “direct” or “simple” when describing a cremation without ceremony. Such terms make the process sound easy and less burdensome, when in fact, studies have shown that many families who choose such services have more difficulties dealing with the loss than those who choose some form of service. So, if we stop using the words “direct” and “simple,” what word should we use? Change your vocabulary to be “nonceremonial cremation.” It better describes what the service is,

44

and it also makes families consider the need for some form of ceremony or remembrance.

Use the assumptive approach. In the assumptive approach, we assume the family is going to have a service, and we position our question in such a fashion as to elicit a more positive response. When a family says, “We just want a cremation,” our response should be: “I understand. Like you, Mrs. Smith, many families choose cremation today. Most also choose a service. When would you like your service, before or after the cremation?”

Use the “You will have a service” approach. With this approach, we want to share with families that even though they choose cremation and are considering a nonceremonial cremation, they will still have a service. Humans tend to react in one of two ways following a death: 1. Some have an innate need to pay their condolences to someone.

2. Some have a desire to avoid death and thereby avoid the perceived awkwardness of paying their respects.

As such, families have shared two different ways of managing these reactions: They end up having multiple services in multiple places, which was more difficult than having everything done at a set time in a set, safe place; or worse, they found that their friends would avoid them because they didn’t want to approach the subject.

Give either option a try. The worst thing that can happen is the customer chooses to stay with a nonceremonial cremation, which is what they were going to choose if you hadn’t presented other options.

Show Me the Money!

The biggest mistake funeral professionals tend to make when dealing with price shoppers is neglecting to ask for the business.

They do a great job with value statements and other conversational phone skills but never try to close the deal. Instead, they end the call with the typical, if you have any other questions or need additional assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Typically, they will never contact you again. We need to take a more proactive approach if we want the customer to show us the money. Here are a couple of simple ways to get from the first call to the sale: • Mrs. Smith, I want to thank you for sharing with me today your desires as they relate to services for your husband. Please know that our staff would be honored to handle your husband’s arrangements. With your permission, I would be happy to send our staff of caring professionals to the hospital to transfer your husband into our care. Would that be OK with you?

• Mrs. Smith, I want to thank you for sharing with me today your desires as they relate to services for your husband. Please know that our staff would be honored to handle your husband’s arrangements. We have some appointment times available this afternoon or tomorrow morning to begin the planning process. Which would be best for you?

These skills do not come naturally for most people. It takes practice to craft the appropriate value statements and to perfect the phone skills needed to win the caller’s business. By using the tools shared in this article, you will not only “have the caller at hello” but they will also “show you the money.” • American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Viewpoint

By Jennifer Graziano

The

Inconvenience of

Death

Nothing lasts forever. We go through phases, seasons, trends, and fads, but ultimately everything passes as quickly as it enters.

F

rom the onset of my career in funeral service, wakes were not an exception but the norm.

There was never a question that people would come together in the aftermath of loss, pay their respects to the decedent, say a prayer, share a memory, offer comfort and ultimately honor a life. Admittedly, it is unsettling to know that this was merely a season. There are some things we’d like to believe have permanent roots.

I often question why there is a difference in the way we honor the dead today. I have a few theories.

There is a marked difference when a spouse arranges a funeral versus an adult child. For the spouse, no detail is to be overlooked, no corner is to be cut, no shortcut is to be taken.

When the adult children are arranging for the second parent who 46

has died, the dialogue often takes a different route. The conversation becomes filled with equivocations and justifications, such as, “Why have the wake, Mom’s friends are dead?” “Why have the vault if it’s not required?” “Why go to church if it’s quicker to do it all in the funeral home?” And while all of these hypotheticals may contain a degree of truth, none of it mattered when Mom planned Dad’s funeral – because honoring her spouse is what mattered.

My father always calls to mind a quote from William Ewart Gladstone: Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead, and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land and their loyalty to high ideals.

His fondness for these words caused them to take up permanent residence on a bronze plaque that rests right outside the main entrance to the funeral home. The words of Gladstone are quite simple as they remind us the way we care for our dead reflects the value we place on life. Our society has become so removed from emotion. Everything is a click, swipe or touch away. Face-to-face visits with family members have been replaced with video chats and phone calls. Picking up the phone to hear a voice has been replaced with texts and emails, none of which convey the sentiment or feeling behind our words (unless of course you include emojis).

Our growth as a society has greatly improved our technological capabilities at the expense of emotion and American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Thank you so much for remem mbering me, that is so kind. Y Your our staff has treated me like e family and I am gratefu ul for that.

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human connections. Those became the casualties. This is why I strongly believe the dynamic of a funeral arrangement conference has changed.

Death is ultimately not convenient for anyone. Taking a four-hour block of time out of our busy day to honor a life doesn’t fit into our schedule.

Let us not forget the difficulty a weekday poses; often people will wait for a Saturday or Sunday, because it is a better fit for their schedule.

Death no longer requires us to cancel a scheduled trip, rather, the funeral can wait. To further my point, how many times nowadays have you heard someone say in jest, “Just throw me in the ocean,” “Just burn me and dump my ashes.”?

While most often these comments are made with intended humor, it moves us toward a throwaway society as we devalue ourselves and suggest our death should be a nonevent. I’m always surprised, albeit puzzled when I hear someone ask for “just a cremation.” The potential liability and irreversible nature of the process cause it to be anything but simple. People assume that our work changes or our commitment is altered when a person is cremated in lieu of being buried. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I invite you to take a ride to a local crematory on any given day.

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What you will see is corrugated boxes, piled upon the other, delivered in beat up vans or trucks.

Some are crushed, battered, ducttaped, with names written in magic marker. What you will not see is a single family member who thought it important to make the trip to ensure all was done correctly, with as much dignity as possible one can garner from a corrugated box. I’ll venture to say many of the bodies in those cardboard boxes have not been identified, cleansed, dressed or in any way prepared. If survivors don’t care, the funeral director certainly will not.

As with anything in life, you will get what you pay for. Funeral directors who bring decedents to a crematory in this manner advertise low cost, but your loved one’s dignity will ultimately pay the price. Believe me, the funeral business has no shortage of charlatans and fly by nights, who will entertain a bidding war with families who shop by phone and consider price alone. Considering all this, we were compelled to make and promote our “Cremation Promise.” (Perhaps after reading this, you’ll have a better understanding of what it means. For my family, the level of commitment and care never wavers.

Unfortunately, for many it comes down to money – and perhaps that

is the ultimate reason for the shift in our funeral culture. But I ask you, what price can you put on dignity and on making sure your loved one is cleaned and dressed and is indeed the person in the casket? Scripture tells us in the Old Testament, when Abraham had to buy Sara’s grave he didn’t ask, “How much?” It was something that had to be done. The cost of a funeral is not a yearly expense.

Indeed, it is a once-in-a-lifetime expense. We have never turned away a family and never not done all we can to help a family in need.

Our name is on the door and our head needs to rest on a pillow every night, we are committed to help where help is needed.

I’ve always felt like an old soul in a modern world, perhaps now more than ever. In my career, I have seen wakes go from two days, to one day to one hour. We need to stop and think of why we honor the dead. Why did it matter to Mom or Dad? Why should the hustle and bustle of life, but for a moment, pause, to honor a life that’s passed?

Sometimes we need to step outside of ourselves, our wants and our desires to see a bigger picture.

While yes, it’s true, with age comes the reality that in life our circle gets smaller, and many friends and family go before us. It doesn’t make a person’s life less significant to forego a wake.

While adult children might not see the wisdom in the funeral selections their parents made years ago, they had a reason. Why not honor it rather than reinvent it? Whether we select burial or cremation, there is a person inside that casket worthy of the utmost dignity and respect. Take a moment to recognize that by honoring the dead, we demonstrate the value we place on life. To add a final bout of historic wisdom, I offer the words of John Donne, the 17th century poet, who wrote, “Every man’s death diminishes me for I am involved in mankind. Ask not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” • American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Below: Olivia Starks along with staff and spouses from Starks Family Funeral Homes & Cremation Services, honor her mother, Tracey, as part of the Slumberland Bed Race in St. Joseph, Michigan. The event raises money for local charities. (Photo courtesy of Starks Family Funeral Homes & Cremation Services)

Profiles

By Stan Goldstein

Younger Voices

Make an

Impact

Some have followed in the footsteps of their parents. Others see it as a calling. For millennials working in funeral service, it’s a profession they find extremely fulfilling and rewarding with a chance to make a difference. Here are four stories from the younger generation.

Olivia Starks Starks Family Funeral Homes & Cremation Services • Michigan livia Starks, 28, co-owner/ funeral director of Starks Family Funeral Homes and Cremation Services in Michigan, admires Ellen DeGeneres.

“I am obsessed with Ellen. She

O 50

makes the world a better place, she is so funny,” Starks said. “I can’t say enough about her.”

Making funeral service “a better place” is something Starks does with a fresh approach.

“I’m really passionate about the different creative side of a service.

We can be more of a party planner than doing the typical funeral, church, burial service,” Starks said.

“We can help families think outside the box. Especially with cremation, two months later or so we can have a party for their loved one, not a sad or traditional service.

“It’s a celebration of life. Even in our obituaries, we call everything a celebration of life, not a funeral service. Let’s celebrate the times they were with us.”

Starks Family Funeral Homes & Cremation Services is made up of six funeral homes and a crematorium, all in Michigan. According to Starks, the business serves about 750 families at its locations, including 450 at the Starks & Menchinger Chapel in St. Joseph, where she primarily works. Starks says it’s about a 50-50 split between burials and cremations.

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Family History Her grandfather, Bob Starks, started the funeral home in 1961 and her father, Tom, is the current co-owner and president. Olivia, though, wasn’t sure she wanted to enter the family business.

“At first, I wanted to do the exact opposite, I did not want to do anything that involved working in the funeral industry. I saw the stress it put on my dad and my family,” Starks said. “I wanted to be a pastry chef and didn’t like those hours, but I then I got into an industry where the hours are worse – I don’t know how my mind worked that one out!

This is 24/7. I knew what I was getting into. It wasn’t super easy to adapt to it, but it wasn’t a surprise.”

Starks received her bachelor’s degree in psychology and sociology at Western Michigan University but didn’t want to pursue a career in those fields either.

While in high school, Starks started working at the funeral home.

“My summer job was working there. My sister Laura and I had to start at the bottom: weeding, mowing the lawn,” Starks said. “The next year my dad sat us down in the office and had us help with the administrative portion – answering the phone, doing the paperwork. Then I was able to help with funerals and families and work in the back.

“My dad said we didn’t need to master everything but that he did want us to be able to do everything.”

Her younger sister, Laura, 26, also joined the family business. She manages one of the other Starks’ locations, the Clark Chapel in Dowagiac.

When Starks was 14, her mother, Tracey, died of breast cancer.

“You can read all the books you want, but until something like this happens to you, you have no idea,” Starks said. “That’s why I get this bond from working with families, it makes me more related to them.

When someone says, ‘I know what you are going through,’ I actually do.

“It was around my junior year of college when I started meeting with the grieving families, being with them from start to finish, when I 52

could see their transition and I was there to help walk them through it,” she added. “I could see their change, the way they could smile and help their loved one properly and how appreciative they were of our services.

It’s something you can’t get from watching a show. How I helped those families made me feel great.”

New Ideas Starks became a licensed funeral director after graduating from Worsham College of Mortuary Science in Wheeling, Illinois, in 2014. She brings a younger, fresh approach to funeral service.

Olivia Starks

“Bringing new ideas is huge especially with the technology based in our culture now. Laura and I set up a new website with a new company.

“My dad appreciates the ideas.

He’s been so good with Lauren and I stepping out of the box with new and different things. We reach out to be a part of the community,” Starks said. “It’s one less thing he doesn’t have to be a part of. We don’t want to start him thinking about retirement, he just turned 60.”

Starks’ grandfather, Bob, 86, is retired but continues to offer advice.

“He will try to make a quick appearance at most of our services, especially if he knows the family. We have a Plan A, a Plan B and a Plan Bob for my grandfather,” Starks said with a laugh. “Sometimes he’ll want to change everything around, saying that’s how he did it 50 years ago and ‘why would you want to do that?’

But then he’ll say ‘I guess that makes sense.’ If something does goes wrong, he’s not afraid to tell me. He has seen it all.”

Starks recalls a celebration of life service for a school principal that was very special.

“Instead of having a service here at the funeral home, we had a sunset service on Lake Michigan. We had close to 1,000 people there and it was very casual. We had a small service, and at sunset, we asked everyone to turn the lights on their iPhones on. It was fantastic,” Starks said.

Listening to families talk about their loved ones and finding out what they liked is a key for funeral directors, Starks believes. This may lead to having a memorable service.

“As long as families are open and willing to share with us, we can have a wow factor. We try to surprise families with something,” she said.

“If grandpa loved golfing, we can have golf tees personalized and have mini-golf set up. If someone liked paddleboard, we can set up a little beach vignette scene with a paddleboard. If someone is from a local college, we can have the college’s flags put up around the room.

“Little things like that mean the world to a family. Sometimes it’s just the small things.”

Starks encourages people her age to get involved with the funeral service industry.

“If someone isn’t already involved in a funeral home, they should reach out and shadow the position. Instead of going to mortuary school first – mortuary school versus real-life experience are two different things – ask us, give us a call. I’d be happy to talk to anyone about it,” Starks said.

Starks also highly recommends the Selected Independent Funeral Homes’ NextGen community, a group for the up-and-coming leaders in the funeral profession.

“I can’t talk highly enough about our young professionals group.

There are so many wonderful connections with funeral homes there. If I need anything, everyone is just one text message away,” she said.

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Lauren J. Bowser Douglas R. Loikith Funeral Service Randolph, New Jersey

hen Lauren J. Bowser attended her high school career day, a guidance counselor asked the then 16-year-old what she wanted to do.

“I told him I liked forensics. He then put me in touch with a funeral home in Somerville (New Jersey), and I talked with them. Both of my parents did insurance, and I knew that wasn’t for me,” Bowser said. “I come from a big Italian family and they understand that you make your life important and a funeral is the last life event. It’s a celebration of life.”

After working at other funeral homes, in March, Bowser, 33, became the co-owner of the Douglas R. Loikith Funeral Service in Randolph, New Jersey. Known as a “funeral home serving funeral homes” Loikith offers a variety of services, including embalming, transportation of human remains, funeral livery, cremations, graveside services, worldwide shipping services and refrigeration.

“The chance to co-own came up on need. I was helping Doug Loikith out on the side with some of his firms, and he just felt it was time to get a business partner so his trade business and funeral home could thrive. So I could thrive on my own, too,” Bowser said. “I took it under consideration for four months, before I decided yes, this is what I wanted to do. It was a lot to consider.”

Bowser attended Mercer County Community College in West Windsor, New Jersey, and graduated from its mortuary school in 2009.

For the past five years she worked for the McCriskin-Gustafson Family

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of Funeral Homes, which has four facilities in central New Jersey.

“In the five years I was with McCriskin, I really was able to refine my skills as a funeral director and an arranger, and in the prep room as well. It gave me the confidence to be a co-owner,” she said. “I was very blessed to work for them.”

McCriskin’s four locations serve about 550 families a year according to Bowser. Now, as a co-owner of Douglas R. Loikith Funeral Service, she expects to be involved in about 700 to 750 calls a year.

Ever since she was 16, Bowser knew this was the career path she was most likely going to take. Her friends and family were always supportive.

horror movies, I was never scared of them. I liked ‘Night of the Living Dead,’” she said.

Bowser’s social life did take a bit of a hit at first while she was busy working.

“It was harder to date, it definitely made it weird for some people when they asked me, ‘what did I go to school for?’ In a way, our society (sees) death as a taboo – out of sight, out of mind.”

But when she met her current girlfriend, Liz, she found someone who encouraged her in her career.

“Liz, she found it all very interesting,” Bowser said. “We’ve been together for a while, and it has become a norm for her where she recognizes that death is a part of life. I never had that as a norm before with others when I would have to leave during Thanksgiving dinner.

Liz is supportive of me and my new job.”

Modern Approach

Lauren J. Bowser, is the co-owner of the Douglas R. Loikith Funeral Service in Randolph, New Jersey. (Photo credit: Amanda Hidalgo)

“My family understood the cultural importance of funeral service and how sacred it is. They were 100% behind me, 100% supportive,” she said. “Another classmate of mine wanted to do the same thing, and he now works for the body donation program at the University of Minnesota.”

Bowser has another passion that helped steer her into the funeral service industry. “I always liked

As a young co-owner, Bowser hopes to try some new ideas.

“I believe in creating some modern things to show a new generation of clients and families,” she said. “Let’s have some modern traditions. If someone wants to show up at a service in a Hawaiian shirt, let’s have that. The service is a necessary part of society and brings value into the end of life.”

Bowser learned much of this while working for younger funeral directors at McCriskin-Gustafson.

“They were pioneers in doing what you want for your life event.

We would tell the families that if your loved one wasn’t a suit and tie type of guy then why have him wear it now?” Bowser said. “At another place, there was a service for a young girl and the family wanted crazy makeup on her. The director said, ‘We don’t do that here.’ But that’s how she looked, this is like a wedding and she’s the bride. It’s the family’s event. So I ended up doing a dramatic lip color and making her American Funeral Director • June 2019

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look more like herself, but they did not want me to do the heavy dramatic eye makeup.

“I hope I have planted a seed that will grow. If a family wants crazy makeup, then that’s what we’re doing.”

In her new position, Bowser and Loikith do the embalming and they have a support staff of about 15 drivers and removal personnel. Bowser may not be involved in as much funeral planning as before, but she is bringing a modern approach to other areas. She recommends firms use glutaraldehyde over formaldehyde, which has been used since the Civil War, in the embalming room for safety and cosmetic reasons.

“I mainly use a product called PK (made by Champion), which is a glutaraldehyde-based fluid. It creates a better, more realistic look, even before the use of cosmetics,” she said. “You get to see a more natural state, and it makes someone look very natural with makeup.”

Bowser would like to see younger people get involved in the business.

She is happy to speak at career days at schools.

“My sister teaches at Morristown High School, and I’ve talked at career day there for about six years. So far only one student has taken a pamphlet. I also talk about embalming and the questions I get are, ‘Are you scared?’ or ‘What’s the craziest thing you have seen?’ But it does give exposure to the students,” she said.

Caleb Wilde, a sixth-generation funeral director and author of the book “Confessions of a Funeral Director” has been a big help and inspiration. He operates a Facebook page called “Funeral Service Support Group,” which Bowser highly recommends.

“Caleb is someone who truly supports and represents young funeral directors very well. I’ve been friends with him through social media. People from every stage of their careers are in his Facebook group, and they discuss the stress levels, the rewards, missing Christmas,” Bowser said. “When I need advice, I post in that support group and everyone chimes in with advice and support.

I’ve had responses from people who have been in the business for 20 years to interns.”

Using social media to reach out to your community is also a good way to market to a younger generation, Bowser believes. “It shows the value of what you do for your community. It makes you more real. You can market to the parents who were

baby boomers. Like a wedding, you only do a funeral service once, and it’s very important to have a good social media presence and make it interactive. It gives you transparency and you can’t hide from bad reviews,” she said.

“You want to be your community’s death care professional. You want them to be comfortable in calling you,” she said.

Bowser also calls on the younger generation to create modern traditions and that it’s OK to normalize death and dying.

“We need to advocate to baby boomers to do prearrangements.

You need to ask them, ‘Where’s your plot? Do you want to go to a church?’” Bowser said. “Everyone has their own personal tragedies and we have to be together at the funeral for the community. The community support, the flowers, the hugs – all these things have such an immense value. It shouldn’t take a tragedy. Young funeral directors can be advocates for the value of what we do.”

Know What to Expect If someone wants to consider making funeral service a career, Bowser emphasizes what he or she should expect.

“I would absolutely want to see anyone who wants to contribute to society in a positive way, if they want to service the dead, then get into this.

It’s very science based, very social based and there’s the life event aspect of it.” Bowser said. “I’ve never had a boring day. It’s a dedication and it’s a vocation.”

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Lauren J. Bowser never forgets how important funeral service is to family and friends. (Photo credit: Amanda Hidalgo) American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Josh Blake Wilkirson-Hatch-Bailey Funeral Home Waco, Texas

osh Blake started in 2014 as a part-time funeral service assistant and preneed counselor at Wilkirson-Hatch-Bailey Funeral Home in Waco, Texas. Just a few years later, Blake became the funeral home’s chief operating officer.

It was Hatch Bailey, the president and funeral director in charge, a longtime friend of Blake’s and his family, who encouraged him to make this a career.

“Hatch and his family are like a second family to me. I grew up with them. I knew their funeral home growing up. After working four years as a case worker for the local mental health authority, I decided I didn’t want to do that line of work,” Blake said. “I went to Hatch and asked him about working at the funeral home.

He said, ‘I’m glad you finally asked. I have been waiting for you to ask.’

“Hatch had been waiting for me to approach him first. He really believes it’s a calling and you shouldn’t do it unless you feel that way.”

Bailey continues to inspire Blake.

In a recent Facebook post, Bailey, a fourth-generation funeral director who began his career in 1979, wrote: Once in a while someone will ask if I have any plans to retire or sell out and it just makes me laugh that people would even think that, but it happened again just a few minutes ago, so it got me to thinking that maybe others wonder the same thing, so I’ll just put this out there … NO plans to retire, period. NO plans to sell out, period. Just this week, my son (who’s served at the funeral home a decade already) and I went to a nursing home to pick up the deceased body of a veteran, and friends … to me, that is sacred work and I ain’t giving that up! Since the age of 17, I have been (and still am)

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confident that my purpose in life is to love and help people in grief, and I plan to continue doing just that as best I can. So ... yes, we remain ‘A Family Serving Families.’

Blake’s response to this on Facebook was: “94 years and still family owned. Thankful to work with people that are like family.”

Blake, 35, grew up in Waco and graduated from Waco High School.

After receiving his bachelor’s degree in psychology from Baylor University, he moved to Thailand for a year where he taught English as a second language before moving back to Texas.

When he started at the funeral home five years ago, Blake right away knew he had found his calling.

“I loved preneed. I loved meeting with families and getting to visit with them and learn all about them,” Blake said. “I loved at the end, how when they did plan ahead, they were happy and relieved to have done it. It was really fulfilling.”

He then attended school for mortuary science and completed his degree from Amarillo College in 2015.

In September 2017, Bailey offered Blake the position as chief operating

officer. “It was a surprise as well as an honor and so exciting,” Blake said.

“Josh was most capable of handling the tough and delicate job, and he understood our family and our vision for funeral service and cremations going into the future,” Bailey said. “Josh is the ideal extension of our family to represent our family. To top it off, I was and remain convinced that Josh was called to this. It’s like a divine appointment.

Finally, I trust him.”

Improved Website Blake has run into some resistance from the older guard, but he says there are a lot of positive ideas all around from the 22 employees.

“Before I came here, there were great ideas – and it really was about someone coming in here and running with those ideas and seeing them through,” Blake said. “There’s some operating stuff and our website is one of the major things I tackled. It just wasn’t about changing the company that did it for us. I wanted to update the content with words, images and video and we have been able to do all that.

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“Before getting the new site, we weren’t able to control as many things. Now we can update things when we want to. With a third-party operation, we couldn’t do the changes. Now we can do them when we need to. Plus, we have revamped our Facebook and Google pages.

Google today is like how the Yellow Pages were years ago. We make sure our page is up to date and that the phone number, owners and hours are all accurate.”

Blake gives a lot of credit to the Selected Independent Funeral Homes’ NextGen community in helping and prepping him for his job.

“That group has been around.

Hatch was one of the first ones to be in it. He has made a lot of long-term friends who have helped him over the years, and he wanted me to have the same experience and make the same type of connections. When I came on board, he asked me to join the group as well. I’ve been involved in it for four years,” Blake said. “We have conferences once a year.”

He attended Selected’s Leadership Academy, and at his 2018 graduation, he gave a presentation on change. “I based it on a book ‘Leading Change’ American Funeral Director • June 2019

by John Kotter. I would highly recommend it,” he said.

Through that community and at those conferences, Blake has found new and innovative things to bring to funeral service and to provide for a different generation.

“The families we are arranging with are younger and not as swayed by traditional ways. It does help when someone is younger and is assisting with the arrangements and helping with the creative process,” Blake said. “Also, the way you communicate with the public and the family, it’s changing.

“Some families would rather email back and forth than talking over the phone. Many families are out of town, and I’ve been working on improving our virtual arrangements,” Blake added. “I’ve been using join.me and doing virtual meetings.

That’s been helpful for families who are out of town and can’t come in to do arrangements. Also, on our website, we have an option where people can chat with us instead of calling.”

Being involved in the Waco community is important to Blake. He serves on the board of directors for the Cen-Tex Hispanic Chamber of

Opposite page: Josh Blake at his graduation from the Selected Leadership Academy in 2018. Above: Hatch Bailey, left, and Josh Blake, second from left, receive the 2018 Business of the Year award for the Wilkirson-Hatch-Bailey Funeral Home from the Cen-Tex Hispanic Chamber of Commerce.

(Photos courtesy of Josh Blake)

Commerce and is involved in the Greater Waco Chamber’s Young Professionals program.

Blake encourages younger people to become involved in funeral service. Baylor University offers a class on death and dying and those students take tours of the funeral home each semester.

“It’s a great job for millennials. It’s what research says they are looking for in a job. It’s fulfilling. You are truly helping and no family is the same and you are never bored,” Blake said. “Technology is a big part of a millennial’s life, and it’s a pivotal time for technology at funeral homes. It’s a great time to be a part of it and your ideas can really come to fruition. We’re helping to shape the future.”

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Whitney Pegues-Beck W.E Pegues Funeral Directors Tupelo, Mississippi

hitney Pegues-Beck is the fifth generation of her family to be a part of Tupelo, Mississippi’s oldest familyowned-and-operated business. But she took a detour to New York City before becoming vice president/funeral director of the W.E. Pegues Funeral Directors, which has been serving the Tupelo and Lee county areas of Mississippi since 1891.

“I really didn’t give it much consideration about going into the family business growing up,” Pegues-Beck, 31, said. “It didn’t cross my mind until I was in college, and then I thought I might go back in the industry after college.”

But after graduating from the University of Mississippi with a degree in business administration in 2009, she headed north to New York City where she was an accounting manager for Electronic Environments Inc., an audiovisual equipment supplier.

She spent four years there before a talk with her father, Greg – Pegues’ president and a funeral director – brought her back to Tupelo.

“My family and I had gone on vacation and my dad talked to me and my brother and younger sister. He told us that he wanted to retire at some point and he was debating selling the funeral home,” Pegues-Beck said. “He said, ‘If this isn’t where you want to end up’ that he would start to see his options. I spoke to my fiancé, Jason, about it and we decided to move to Mississippi.”

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Jason Beck and Pegues made the move in 2013 and married in Tupelo in 2014. “Jason is from Staten Island and he was very excited about doing something different than living in the city. He was looking for a change and not so much a fast-paced lifestyle.

“Some of my friends were surprised I moved back from New York to Mississippi. Jason and I talked about it and we thought it would be a place that would be supportive of making a home and a family. It’s a different lifestyle, of course, from New York,” she said.

Whitney Pegues-Beck is the vice president at the W.E. Pegues Funeral Directors in Mississippi. (Photos courtesy of Whitney Pegues-Beck)

Pegues-Beck got her license to be a funeral director in 2016 and now serves as the vice president/funeral director at both the Tupelo and Saltillo locations. Her father is still working but plans to retire in March 2020 at age 60. Watching her father at work prepared Pegues-Beck for what would be ahead.

“Growing up, it was very obvious to me how my father, on Christmas, he would open up gifts and then go

into work. He was always on calls during the holidays and it just became standard for me,” she said. “I know most people would work, 9 to 5, 40 hours a week, it was different than the way I lived.”

Birthplace of Elvis Tupelo is famously known as the birthplace of Elvis Presley, and he lived there until he was 13. “My great-uncle went to school with Elvis, he has pictures of him from his elementary school years,” Pegues-Beck said. “Our family funeral home also buried Elvis’ twin brother, Jesse.”

Jesse Garon Presley was delivered 35 minutes before Elvis, stillborn, on Jan. 8, 1935.

The W.E. Pegues Funeral Directors serves about 350 families a year, with about 30 percent choosing cremation.

Pegues-Beck feels younger funeral directors bring a different approach to traditional services.

“I had an opportunity that most would not have, I had my mother and father’s ear,” she said. “They wanted me to try new things. The staff was not as easily convinced.

Our generation has the opportunity to take the cookie-cutter funeral and make it more unique to what a family wants and needs. We’ll give them the option of not wearing suits. They can wear different things – jackets, team jerseys. We make the funeral more personal.

“My dad has always been pretty progressive, his dad, too. Fortunately, he’s open to change. He’s the person who said, ‘Let’s do this’ to his dad. We work very well together.”

There have been times when Pegues-Beck had to be disloyal to her alma mater and wear a jersey of her school’s archrival.

“I’m a big Ole Miss fan and there have been services when I had to wear a Mississippi State jersey. The guys got a kick out of that. That’s American Funeral Director • June 2019

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our big rival. You do what you have to do,” she said.

Online Presence Social media was another area of the funeral home that Pegues-Beck tackled.

“I created our Facebook page. We didn’t have a presence on social media and that’s come a long way. I wish it would be even better,” she said.

Pegues-Beck is glad to see younger people getting into the business, especially women.

“It takes a special person, it all depends on their calling if they feel like it’s what they want to do. It takes a lot of patience to work with an older generation. Sometimes they’re not ready for new ideas,” she said.

American Funeral Director • June 2019

“Young women are flooding the industry and I think that’s wonderful. Some, like myself, have families who are in the industry. A funeral is not just cookie cutter anymore. It’s like organization management. It’s something women tend to do better and have an interest in.”

Pegues-Beck has learned a lot by connecting with others through Selected Independent Funeral Homes’ NextGen community on the internet.

“The NextGen forum has been very beneficial. It has about 300 people in it and you get a lot of different ideas. We’re considered the next generation and we’re coming into those shoes of the generation before us. It helps us figure out management roles, working with staff,” PeguesBeck said. “As you get to know peo-

ple you can text and email them if you need anything.

“I’ve had the opportunity to go to the National Funeral Directors Association conventions and have found a lot of great ideas there, too. It’s good to piggyback on other ideas.”

Although she still has a soft spot for New York City and visits a few times a year, Pegues-Smith is happy to be in Mississippi working at the funeral homes.

“We’ve been very blessed. We are so happy we moved, not only personally but also professionally. Out of all the places I worked in my life, I don’t feel this is a job, it’s an honor,” she said.

“We get the opportunity to make someone’s moment with their loved one just a little bit better. You get one chance and it matters, every detail matters.” •

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Vehicles

By Patti Martin Bartsche

Heading into

South Dakota There’s one thing John “Ed” Renstrom wants attendees to the 2019 Professional Car Society International Meet in Rapid City, South Dakota, to understand about this year’s location: “The majority of land in western South Dakota is owned by the federal or state government as a national park, monument or grasslands, so it’s your land – it belongs to you and this is your chance to get a real good look at it and see how it’s being taken care of.”

Renstrom, a PCS member since 1999, is the host of the of this year’s event, which takes place June 24-28 in Rapid City and the surrounding Black Hills.

“I really want to get the boys from the city to come to the center of the country, to see some of the flattest ground around,” Renstrom said. “I think many people will be surprised on just how beautiful it is ... and how there’s so much to do.”

PCS President Tony Karsnia noted that this is the first time the organization, which was founded in 1976, is holding a meet in South Dakota.

“We’re excited because we’ve never held a meet in this part of the country,” Karsnia said. “We move the meet around the country every year, and to be able to hold the meet with the Black Hills as a backdrop will hopefully attract people from the western part of the country who can’t always make our East Coast meets.”

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It’s also an opportunity for the public at large to learn about PSC, which was founded 43 years ago to champion authentic preservation and restoration of funeral vehicles, limousines and ambulances, as well as to refocus attention on the craftsmanship and aesthetics of the virtually custom-built vehicles, organization officials said.

The event should prove a worthy sequel to the 2018 edition hosted by the club’s Motor City Chapter in Detroit, organizers said.

Last year’s gathering touted a trip to Hell (Michigan) and back; a look at the dream cars displayed in the General Motors Heritage Center; visits to Detroit’s Police Museum and Detroit’s Fire Department’s service shop and a tour of the Piquette Avenue plant where Henry Ford developed the Model T. The big draw for owners of the 50-plus hearses, limousines and “pre-box” automobilebased ambulances was the opportunity to participate in a dedicated PCS display at Ferndale, Michigan’s Emergency Vehicle Show before joining in the beacon-andsiren-punctuated parade of police cars and firetrucks that kicked off the Woodward Avenue Dream Cruise.

Renstrom promises a jam-packed meet filled with trips, tours, a few surprises, and, of course, cars.

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The five days of festivities gets underway June 24 with a catered lunch at host hotel Best Western Ramkota Hotel sponsored by Parks Superior Sales. Attendees will also enjoy a beautiful South Dakota evening with a chuck wagon supper and entertainment.

Attendees can hop on the PCS tour bus June 25 for a trip to the Badlands National Park. They’ll also be able to step back in time at the Prairie Homestead, tour the Minuteman Missile National Historic Park and shop at the world-famous Wall Drug.

“What many people might not know is the Rapid City region was home to 150 nuclear missile silos and 15 launch command centers at the height of the Cold War,” Renstrom said. “It provides an opportunity to reflect on a peaceful prairie that once held the power to destroy the world.”

On June 26, the PCS tour bus heads to the Hot Springs Mammoth site, then a tour through Custer State Park, a visit to the Crazy Horse Memorial, the Lincoln Borglum Museum, and finally concluding with a tour of Mount Rushmore.

American Funeral Director • June 2019

Top: A 1969 Superior Cadillac Crown Royale Landaulet hearse owned by Point Marion, Pennsylvania, funeral director Philip S. Rishel led a procession of attendees during the 2018 Professional Car Society International Meet in Detroit.

(Photo courtesy of the Professional Car Society) Above: A 1970 Stoner Chevrolet Suburban ambulance owned by meet host Ed Renstrom, with Mount Rushmore in the background. (Photo courtesy of Ed Renstrom)

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The general membership meeting starts the next day. Attendees can then take a few hours to see the sights of Rapid City on their own and get ready for the Concours d'Elegence display and judging of professional cars in Rapid City’s

historic downtown district beginning at 4:30 p.m.

The event will offer car enthusiasts the opportunity to admire the creations of skilled hearse and ambulance body builders, including Eureka, Flxible, Henney, Pinner, Siebert, Sayers &

Scovill, Miller-Meteor, Cotner/ Bevington, Armbruster/Stageway and Superior.

PCS, Karsnia said, welcomes funeral vehicles with floral arrangements and ambulances and hearse-ambulance “combination” coaches fitting au-

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thentic rescue gear. Macabre distractions like coffins, cobwebs and skeletons are prohibited so the public’s attention stays focused on the aesthetics and fine craftsmanship of the participating cars.

The timing of this year’s professional car show is ideal, Renstrom said, because it coincides with Rapid City’s Thursday night summer concerts downtown. “They close down the downtown area for free concerts,” he said. “There’s also activities, food vendors and more ... and we’ll be a part of it. It’s great for both our members and our community.”

The final day – June 28 – starts with a tour of Motion Unlimited Museum, a locally owned car museum and antique car lot. Attendees can also opt to take a drive to the historic town of Deadwood for some shopping, museums and even some gambling.

The event concludes with the PCS awards banquet and the light and sound show.

American Funeral Director • June 2019

“This is a great opportunity to not just meet up with fellow car enthusiasts and see some great vehicles, but also to take some time to see this wonderful part of the country,” Renstrom said. “I can promise you, people will not be disappointed.”

For more information about the meet and PCS, visit www.theprofessionalcarsociety.org. •

Opposite page: (Top) A 1939 Packard Henney hearse owned by funeral director Jeff Mandziuk Sr. The light and sound show concludes every meet.

This page: (Top) A 1930 Meteor Ambulance owned by Pray Funeral Home. A carved 1938 LaSalle bodied by Meteor Motor Car, and owned by Pray Funeral Home. (Photos courtesy of the Professional Car Society) 65

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Human Resources

By Stephanie Ramsey

HR

Reality Check

✔Yep, the Stories are True!

Scenario: Karl Duncan of Duncan Funeral Services owns a small funeral home in the Midwest. He serves 140 families a HR CASE year. The business has eight full-time and part-time STUDY #14 employees. Last year, Karl decided it was time to start a formal preneed program for his business. Acting upon a recommendation, he initiated a relationship with Jim Forrester as an outside preneed sales specialist. Jim was hired to work exclusively for Duncan Funeral Services.

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Jim was expected to be at the funeral home between normal working hours, which are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., and he was required to submit a time card. He had access to the arrangement room to meet with walk-ins to discuss preneed options during working hours or for prearranged meetings. Jim could also arrange to meet with a family at a location of their choice and a time that was convenient for them.

Karl provided Jim with a cell phone and a laptop computer. Karl made it clear that Jim was expected to follow the employee dress code and code of conduct as he was representing Duncan Funeral Services. Jim was paid a flat rate the first three months and then he went to a straight commission compensation package. Karl was very pleased with how well Jim was doing at selling preneed contracts.

The families seemed to really connect with Jim. At the end of the year, Karl sent Jim a 1099 form indicating all the compensation he had earned from Duncan for the year. When Jim received it, he reached out to Karl expressing concern as he anticipated he would receive a W-2 form.

Karl explained to Jim that he was an independent contractor. Jim indicated that he believed he was an employee. Who is right? Karl or Jim?

What are the Rules?

There are some guidelines to consider when deciding whether someone is an independent contractor versus an employee.

From the perspective of the IRS, an independent contractor (selfemployed individual) has certain attributes that an employee does not (although each situation is different): Independent contractors: 1. Control how they do their job.

2. Set their schedule with the intent American Funeral Director • June 2019

to meet the funeral home’s needs.

3. Have the freedom to work for more than one funeral business.

4. May be incorporated.

5. Own the tools needed to perform their job.

6. Establish how and when they will be paid.

7. May have a formal contract outlining the business relationship.

Employees: 1. Funeral business provides the tools needed to perform the job.

2. Funeral business controls how and when the job will be done.

3. Are limited to only working for a single funeral business.

4. Pay is determined by the funeral business.

5. How the work is completed is decided by the funeral business.

6. Formal policies or procedures may be required.

7. May have to track their time via a time clock.

Funeral businesses must carefully evaluate these factors when determining whether a worker is an employee or independent contractor. Clearly how a position is structured has a significant impact on this decision. There is no secret way to define someone as an employee or independent contractor. Each situation is different.

The key is the level of control that exists between the funeral business and the worker. If a decision is made that a worker is an independent contractor, make sure to document that determination and how you reached such a conclusion in case you ever need to defend that position.

Did the Employer Make Any Mistakes?

Probably. Given the level of control that Karl has over Jim’s position, it is likely that it would be determined that he is an employee rather than an independent contractor. Karl provided Jim the

tools to perform the job. He also has clearly established the time schedule during which Jim is to perform the job, including tracking his time. Holding Jim accountable to specific employee policies such as the dress code also sends the message that Jim is perceived as an employee and not an independent contractor. Karl clearly wanted to make sure that as an ambassador of his brand that Jim represented him in an appropriate fashion.

Unfortunately, using his employee policies and procedures manual is not the best way to accomplish that goal.

✔

Resolution of the Issue Karl needs to decide about this position. Is it an inside or outside sales position? It appears that Karl is happy with Jim in terms of performance. If Karl wants to keep the current level of control, then Jim is an inside sales person and can be added to payroll as a fulltime employee. He can still be paid straight commission, but he will potentially qualify for the same benefits Karl provides to his other full-time employees. Additionally, as an inside salesperson, Jim may not qualify as exempt from overtime, which means that Karl will need to anticipate this additional salary expense or closely monitor Jim’s time to make sure that overtime is not accrued.

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To view previous case studies, visit www.americanfuneraldirector.com Karl ca n a l s o r e s t r u ct u r e t h e position so that Jim is truly an outside salesperson and thus an independent contractor. This can be done if Jim works through a third-party preneed provider or works d i re c t l y f o r K a r l a s a n independent contractor. If Karl wishes to establish the relationship directly between Jim and Duncan Funeral Services, he needs to make sure that he limits the control of how Jim performs the job. Karl can create a contract with Jim that makes it c l e a r t h a t h e i s a n independent contractor. Within that con t r a c t , i t c a n e s t a b l i s h Karl’s expectations as far as repre-

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senting his business to the public, how Jim would be compensated as well as what tools Jim is expected to have to perform this job. The contract can also indicate exclusivity due to the competitive and sensitive nature of the preneed marketplace.

The key to either of these options is clear communication with Jim so he understands his role with Duncan Funeral Services.

Preventive Measures Many funeral business owners/ managers are confused on independent contractor status. It is important to educate yourself on

the traits defining an independent contractor versus an employee. It is critical to look at the level of control the funeral business exerts on those that are perceived to be independent contractors. Evaluate what you are asking individuals to do. Can they make independent decisions about how and when the job is performed? Can they provide their own equipment? Are they incorporated? Do they bill you for their services? Frequently, funeral businesses pay funeral assistants as independent contractors not realizing that the Department of Labor and the IRS may see them as employees. •

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Viewpoint

By Stephen Born

Last Responder Instructs First Response Being a licensed funeral director and embalmer since 2001, I have seen many changes in our beloved funeral profession. Take the implementation of green burials, tattoo cremation ink, first calls through text messaging, funeral therapy dogs and the significant rise in cremation. As with any business, we must adapt to these changes to continue to be successful.

However, there is one change that I have seen that has turned into a national epidemic. No, this is not the increasing lack of courtesy among drivers in funeral processions. I am referring to opioid overdose deaths.

Many of my fellow embalmers may feel the same.

The Epidemic Is Ravaging Since 2002, opioid-related deaths have grown nearly 300 percent. On average, 130 Americans die each day after overdosing on opioids, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. In the United States, you are more likely to die of an opioid overdose than an automobile 70

accident. Opioid overdoses are the leading cause of accidental deaths.

Opioids are a class of drugs that come in many forms. They can be prescription drugs such as hydrocodone (Vicodin, Norco), morphine (Kadian), oxycodone (OxyContin, Percocet), and Codeine (Tylenol with Codeine No. 3). They also include synthetic drugs like fentanyl (Duragesic) and methadone or illegal drugs such as heroin. If any of these drugs are taken in abundance, respiratory depression can occur, which is the overdose.

One of the worst opioids is carfentanil, an elephant and rhinoceros tranquilizer, which is 100 times more

potent than fentanyl and 10,000 times more potent than morphine.

Just 20 micrograms of carfentanil, which would be the size of a grain of salt, is fatal.

If someone is prescribed an opioid, they should probably continue to take the medication. Physicians and oral surgeons often prescribe opioids for pain relief. Circumstances for these pain management medications would include breaking a bone, a sports injury or having a root canal.

But this isn’t the issue. The problem probably lies with the individual who uses more than what is prescribed and abuses the medication.

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Another issue is when the patient becomes addicted and begins to “doctor shop,” or – when that no longer works – begins to establish the connections needed to receive the drugs on the streets. The issue has become so alarming, that the American Dental Association wants to drastically limit prescribing opioid medications, while the American Medical Association has created its own opioid task force.

Why is the opioid overdose crisis so important to understand and how does it affect the death-care industry and the medico/legal offices of the coroner or medical examiner?

First, let’s examine how funeral directors and embalmers are affected.

Pills are often crushed and snorted for immediate relief, so many opioids can be turned into a powder form.

These powders can become airborne while removing or disturbing clothing prior to embalming. The embalmer unknowingly breathes in the opioid and encounters direct contact with the dangerous drug.

Another example would be removing patches from the deceased prior to embalming. Those patches contain fentanyl, which are offered to the patient for pain relief during their hospital stay. By carelessly removing the patches, the embalmer can come into direct contact with fentanyl.

Lastly, and in the most extreme case, someone pays their last respects to their friend who recently died of an overdose. As one last “hurrah,” the friend goes into the funeral home restroom or parking lot and uses some heroin and has a fallout (overdose).

Coroners and staff have the same issue as us. They are often called to scenes of overdose victims, and there is a strong possibility that active drug users will still be there. In that time, there is the potential that the drug user at the house could overdose while the deputy coroner is there.

Also, the coroner’s office can be contaminated by opioids while removing the clothing prior to the autopsy, affecting the coroner or medical examiner. Lastly, there is always the dreaded needle stick of a American Funeral Director • June 2019

vial of heroin when removing a body from a home. It is important to remember that opioid residue can remain on the skin, clothing, or on personal belongings of someone who died of an overdose. The residue can be absorbed through the tissue or inhaled and cause an overdose.

Being proactive in their approach, the International Order of the Golden Rule, an association for independently-

Stephen Born

owned funeral homes across the United States, has stepped up to the plate. It has created two webinars and published two, 44-page booklets, “Opioid Epidemic: How Funeral Directors Can Respond,” and “Opioid Epidemic: How Communities Can Respond.” At first, the association printed 1,000 booklets, but due to demand, there was another mass distribution of 23,000 copies. According to Mark Allen, the executive director and CEO of the OGR, it all started through study groups with their members that highlighted the considerable impact the issues had on families and the funeral directors.

More significant was the fact that these opioid issues were not being addressed anywhere in the mortuary field. Additionally, an expert panel spoke at the National Funeral Directors Association International Convention and Expo in Boston in October 2017 to address the escalating epidemic.

Fighting the Epidemic Now that I have your attention, how do we combat this national epidemic? There is a product called naloxone, a nonaddictive medication, which rapidly reverses the overdose symptoms and restores breathing. It comes in either an intranasal spray or as an injection via syringe, which is introduced in the larger muscles of the body such as the deltoid, biceps femoris, or gluteus maximus.

Once naloxone is administered to a victim, it dislodges the opioid molecules from the brain’s receptors and in turn binds to the same receptor to block that opioid. This is because naloxone has a stronger affinity to the opioid receptors than the opioid itself. These receptors control breathing, and this action temporarily restores respiratory function. After 30 to 90 minutes, the naloxone molecules wear down and the opioids will then reattach to the receptors and breathing will begin to decrease once again, potentially causing a secondary respiratory depression leading to anoxia. Due to this short duration of effectiveness, it is imperative to contact first responders or as soon as naloxone is administered. Now, naloxone is as dangerous as water and has no abuse potential. Therefore, it is impossible to cause more damage than what has already been done by the opiate dependent user.

Here in Illinois, we have become an advocate for educating, promoting and distributing naloxone. We have the Good Samaritan Law, which offers protection for persons reporting an overdose and gives amnesty if the user has no more than three grams of heroin. This law covers the possession of methamphetamine, marijuana, or cocaine. There is also the Illinois Public Act 099-0480 (HB1), which allows distribution of naloxone statewide and encourages trainings, which is the umbrella I fall under. Lastly, we have the Illinois Drug Overdose Prevention Program Law (PA 096-0361, 2010), which allows nonmedical professionals, 71

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including family, friends and other community members to administer naloxone to prevent a fatal opioid overdose without risking any civil or criminal liability. That said, you are liable if you do nothing to help an overdose victim. Again, these laws are in Illinois, so it is important that you check the laws within your state.

So, why am I writing this story and what can be done to help? I have found the most effective way to be prepared for something is the proactive approach rather than being reactive in a crisis. Though I am the “last responder” in dealing with the abuse of opioids, I decided to address the epidemic head-on. After learning how to administer naloxone to overdose victims, I wanted to train others in death care. Upon completing the opioid instructor curriculum, I received my instructor certification. I am now an opioid educator and provide guidance on naloxone applications and procedures across Illinois. By working with our local funeral directors association districts and the coroner training board, I was able to secure continuing education credits for both funeral directors and coroners.

Interestingly, this has seemed to increase training participation and involvement in the program. Also, I am a volunteer trainer. I am not paid one penny for the training, travel or time. My funding is my personal budget. This is how much I believe in this program.

My trainings are held at funeral homes and coroners’ offices across the state. My ultimate goal is to raise opioid awareness and see that every prep room in the funeral home and morgue at the coroner’s office have a naloxone kit on standby. I present a two-hour slideshow on the history and dangers of opioids, what to look for in an overdose, exposures of opioids, and how to administer naloxone. I also discuss how it affects funeral directors, funeral homes, and coroners. Upon completion of the course, each participant becomes certified to administer 72

naloxone and receives a kit so that they may be prepared to save a life if the time comes. Each kit comes with an intranasal spray or a syringe. If someone is uncomfortable using a syringe, then I provide the intranasal spray. Naloxone is heat sensitive. You should not leave it in the removal vehicle as it will inhibit its effectiveness. Additionally, it is vulnerable to light. It can deactivate if left in direct sunlight.

But slideshow trainings only go so far. Currently, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration does not have an airborne permissible exposure limit as it relates to opioids. Besides the OSHA document 1910.132 (D), which recommends general personal protective equipment, there is nothing more written for compliance directives to inform you what additional precautions must be taken.

Being Safe So, what does this mean? It means as embalmers, it your responsibility to protect yourself. As far as PPE, it is advisable to follow everything you learned about universal precautions in mortuary school. I only say this because we all know this philosophy is lacking in the prep room. The PPE equipment is the face shield or goggles, full-length gown, booties, gloves, and a face mask so as not to inhale the airborne opioids. As far as gloves, I recommend using Nitrile gloves, which are a medical grade synthetic rubber and superior to puncture resistance. Latex is a natural rubber and are not as efficient. Carefully remove the body off the cot and place it on the embalming table. As far as the interior of your cot, with the proper PPE in place, wipe down the inside with soap and water to remove any residual opioids to avoid an accidental exposure.

Before removing the clothing, apply water from a spritz bottle or the mortuary water tube on the contaminated clothing to keep the

substances from becoming airborne, and carefully place them in the medical waste container.

Immediately rinse the body with water and wash with germicidal soap to remove any opioid residue and prohibit the aerosolization of opioids. These procedures prior to embalming will minimize your exposure. Speaking of OSHA and compliance directives, make sure every employee knows the location of the Material Safety Data Sheets.

Before you begin your embalming operation, you might get better results if you pre-inject with warm water with a vascular conditioner.

This will assist in flushing out the circulatory system as some opioid products will coagulate the blood in the vessels. When a death is caused by an overdose, usually there will be a postmortem examination. In the case where there is no autopsy, use the restricted cervical technique. This will allow you to control the flow of pressure to the head. You should also use a stronger formaldehyde solution with a water conditioner since opioids can have an adverse effect on HCHO (formaldehyde). Due to severe coagulation associated with certain opioids, it is common to hypo distal areas to ensure proper diffusion and adequate preservation.

After the operation, all PPE should be removed after embalming and discarded in the medical waste container. One last note, though gloves are a necessary precaution, their defective rate and polymer permeability will diminish after continuous use. Over time, your natural oils, body temperature, and heavy acidic perspiration buildup can degrade the efficiency of your gloves.

Change them often.

In conclusion, the opioid issue is not going away – and it is found everywhere. It would benefit you and your staff to get trained to administer naloxone to not only assist the mourner overdosing in your parking lot, but your embalmer in the prep room. • American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Education

By Patti Martin Bartsche

Finding

Resilience:

One Year Later

It was a little more than a year ago that Homesteaders Life Company, in partnership with Jason Troyer, Ph.D., author and founder of Mount Hope Grief Services, announced the launch of Finding Resilience. Designed specifically for funeral and allied professionals to help prevent burnout and support a reduction in career fatigue, the program’s goal is simple: provide resources to help funeral professionals cope with difficult situations and help them find the joy in the important work they do to serve their communities.

We recently had the chance to catch up with Troyer and Holly Cully, Homesteaders’ marketing department coordinator, to talk about the program’s impact, its evolution and what’s in store going forward.

What has been the reaction from funeral service about Finding Resilience?

Cully: The reaction from the profession has been extremely positive. Hundreds of funeral professionals have attended one of Dr. Troyer’s burnout prevention seminars.

Since we launched the program, we’ve 74

distributed more than 5,500 Finding Resilience journals and workbooks.

Two hundred and thirty funeral professionals are receiving weekly support through our Finding Resilience emails, and more than 300 participants have watched the Ask Dr. Troyer video series. Perhaps the most exciting response comes from the hundreds of funeral professionals who have attended one of Dr. Troyer’s burnout prevention seminars. We can point to any one of these metrics as positive proof that the profession is finding value in the program resources.

What were your expectations for Finding Resilience?

What was the reality of those expectations?

Troyer: During the first year, we hoped that funeral professionals would be open to discussing burnout and building resilience. We knew we had well-researched information and helpful strategies, but we weren’t sure if funeral professionals wanted to engage in those conversations.

What we discovered is that funeral professionals were not only ready to discuss the topic, but they were hungry for resources and support.

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Cully: One primary goal initially was simply to shed light on an area of the profession that has been taboo for far too long. We wanted to change the conversation around burnout – acknowledging that it is a systemic and pervasive problem for all funeral professionals, not just a few. And we knew that the stigma of burnout was a huge barrier for many funeral professionals who would otherwise benefit from the program’s tools. Dr. Troyer’s presentations have really moved the needle on this issue, and offering a breadth of resources – many now available digitally – has also helped bring issues of burnout and compassion fatigue into the light.

How has the program evolved since it was first introduced?

Troyer: We started the program with an information booklet, an inspirational journal, a presentation and weekly emails. Over the past year, we have ventured more into videos, Q&A topics and sharing the information more broadly through webinars. We realized that there are many professionals who are unable to attend state and national conventions, so we created opportunities to reach as many of those funeral professionals as possible. Finding ways to creatively reach funeral professionals is a key focus moving forward.

Cully: Initially, we wanted to provide a few, easily digestible resources that would help funeral professionals make small, manageable changes that could, over time, add up to better overall health. We started with a basic presentation kit, a workbook and a journal. It quickly became apparent that the profession was hungry for more resources – especially those available digitally.

We launched weekly emails and regular blog posts and sponsored a handful of burnout prevention webinars. We introduced video emails, including the Ask Dr. Troyer series that specifically addressed American Funeral Director • June 2019

common issues from real funeral professionals. We also sent Finding Resilience on the road, sponsoring burnout prevention seminars at a dozen industry events throughout the country.

of other funeral directors that burnout is a problem. But what I discovered is they are quick to offer examples of challenges, and they frequently suggest strategies they are using.

The presentations you gave during the last year were always well attended. What does that say about the need for funeral professionals to build their resilience? Did you expect funeral professionals to be so actively involved during your presentations?

Many funeral professionals come up after your presentations to speak with you privately. What issues are most important to them?

Troyer: Without question, the need to acknowledge burnout and compassion fatigue in funeral service is significant. Thankfully, the conversation has turned from, “Should we be talking about this?” to “We know this is a problem. Let’s talk about solutions.” Before I started presenting on the topic, I was concerned funeral professionals would be hesitant to admit in front

Jason Troyer

Holly Cully

Troyer: I always have someone come up and talk to me after a presentation – usually there is a small line of people who want to talk.

Their stories vary from “war stories” of a bad situation they used to be in, to frustration about their current situation, as well as ways they have reinvented their own lives to better manage stress and burnout. I’ve had people come up in tears. I’ve had funeral directors confess they were texting their loved ones during my presentation because they realized how their symptoms of burnout had affected their relationships and wanted to apologize to them. I have had funeral professionals talk about their substance abuse recovery, their previous thoughts of self-harm, their feelings of being stuck between caring for bereaved families and being there for their own families and many other topics and examples.

Do you feel that funeral professionals are more open to talking about burnout because Finding Resilience has helped them understand that they are not alone in their feelings?

Cully: There’s an old adage that grief shared is grief diminished, and that is certainly true for funeral professionals who battle burnout. We continue to hear from funeral professionals who, after sharing their own experiences, have one, two or even 10 professionals close to them say, “You too? I thought it was just me!”

It’s also been helpful to have so many prominent voices in the profession talking about issues of 75

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burnout – including Lauren LeRoy (Little Miss Funeral) and Caleb Wilde (Confessions of a Funeral Director).

When funeral professionals see people they know and respect addressing and promoting positive mental health and self-care, it gives them permission to acknowledge similar struggles in their own lives.

How do you think this program has been able to positively impact funeral professionals?

Cully: Finding Resilience provides easy ways for funeral professionals to address burnout and compassion fatigue. It offers a healthy context to view burnout – acknowledging that it is a normal response to a tremendously demanding job. The program also offers a relief valve, giving funeral professionals a safe space to share their struggles while gently nudging them toward actionable ways to engage in self-care and burnout prevention.

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What are the common misconceptions about job burnout and career fatigue?

likely to maintain small habits than big lifestyle changes.

Troyer: Some funeral professionals believe that there is very little they can do to reduce their own stress.

Because employees may not have input on their work schedule or the policies of the funeral home, they may think stress is out of their control. And while owners and managers should always be reviewing their work environment, funeral professionals can do many things to reduce their feelings of stress and burnout. Many of these strategies can be done within the course of their workday.

This relates to another common misconception – that you have to make radical changes to reduce stress. I’m quick to tell people that you don’t need to start training for a marathon after being a non-runner for years. Small changes practiced regularly can be as powerful as huge lifestyle changes, and you’re more

Do you get a sense that funeral professionals are more willing to acknowledge their career fatigue and burnout?

Troyer: Definitely! I’m seeing funeral professionals of all ages who are quick to acknowledge that burnout and compassion fatigue are serious concerns in the profession.

Managers and owners are also beginning to recognize that it is a costly problem – because it is expensive to recruit and train new staff members if you lose staff to burnout. Many realize it is a significant concern, and they are looking for effective ways to help themselves and their staff members.

Have you been surprised about how many people are expressing interest at the topic by attending workshops, presentations and webinars?

American Funeral Director • June 2019

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#CANA19

Louisvville

20 019

101st Annual Cremation Inno ovation Convention Omni Lo ouisville Hotel • July 31– 31–August 2

EDUCATION ATION T SE SESSIONS Cremation n is _ _ _ _ _: Understanding Cremation n Motiv va ations • Barbara Kemm mis, Pam Kleese What happ pens after the decision to crem mate?

Hear g groun nd-breaking research on consu umer behavior and attitudes toward cremation n.

Presentati resent ion W Without ithout P Preser reserva vation • Daamon de la Cruz, Ben Schmidt Best practicces fo or preparing a decedent fo or identificcation, short-term viewing, and cremation..

Dispelling Myths: Cremation in the Curriculum Currriculum • Damon de la Cruz, David Hess, Jack Lechnerr, Leili McMu urrough, Robb Smith Panelists w will share strategies for o incorpo orating cremation into the curriculum and prepaaring the future w workffor orce to serve families in tthis dynamic an nd rapidly changing proffession. ession.

Cremation nF Funda undamentals • Ben Schmidtt, Larry Stuart, Jr., M Mark Matthews Panelists taackle the impending switch to new a coolant ffor orr rrefrigeration units; the importance of having standard s operating proceduress; internation nal shipping of cremated remaains; and Mortraaqrr, an innovative inno new tool for or tracking co ontinuing education credits.

Defusing Conflic Confl flict in the Arrangement Co onference: Strrategies tegies from F Fa amillyy Therapists • Dr.. Jason Troyer Practical strateg gies to immediately defuse conflict in the ar arrangement g conffer erence.

CANA Stta atisticcs: s: Cremation Crema GPS • Elisa Krcilek Put the power of CANA statistics and your own business to work fo or you.

Ce emeteries Are Dying: One Bold Response • Lynn Gibson, Dr. Jason Troyer Innovative changes in the cemetery to create meaningful and valuable connections with bereaved individuals.

The Art of Sttor orry • Gwen Mooneyy,, Michael M Higgs Much of how we serve families as proffessional essional funeral funer directors and cemetery leaders revolves around the art of story—capturing the fine details about the family you are serving and incorporating them into a meaningful service.

D Details and regisstration at www w.gocana.org//CANA19

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Cully: It’s certainly what we were hoping for, and we’re grateful funeral professionals are continuing to see value in the program. But it also underscores the high demand for these resources, and reminds us that burnout continues to be a significant challenge for funeral professionals.

The positive reception motivates us to continue this good work, developing the program and offering more and more easily accessible resources.

toward your goals if you tell them, “I know my stress level is high and I’m experiencing feelings of professional burnout – can you help me create a plan?” Just like a funeral home owner might hire a consultant to help create a marketing plan or assist with an acquisition, you can use mental health professionals as “stress reduction consultants.” Counseling is often a very different process than what you might see in TV shows or movies.

Do you have a sense that for those funeral professionals who are facing significant burnout, counseling has become a more serious option?

Is the anonymity that the program offers a key factor in its success?

Troyer: I have had many funeral professionals tell me that professional counseling was key in reducing their stress and burnout, although it is difficult to determine national trends.

As a former therapist, I try to reframe counseling as “resilience consulting.”

For example, most mental health professionals can help you work

Troyer: Absolutely! While some funeral professionals feel comfortable sharing their concerns more publicly, most want privacy and confidentiality.

Homesteaders was a key part of this by providing the resources in a confidential way. For example, individuals can sign up for the weekly Finding Resilience emails with any email address or have an inspirational journal sent to their private mailing address.

Are you hearing that – even in small ways – funeral professionals are taking better care of themselves?

Troyer: Although much can be done to improve awareness of stress reduction and burnout, funeral professionals are increasingly aware that burnout is a significant problem.

Owners and managers are beginning to recognize the time and monetary expenses of losing valuable staff members to burnout. Funeral professionals are increasingly integrating resilience strategies into their daily routines.

How would you like to see the program expand going forward?

Troyer: Our hope is to find creative ways to reach and engage with funeral professionals who have not heard about the program. We know that many funeral professionals don’t have the opportunity to attend conventions and conferences, so we’re looking for ways to reach those individuals.

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American Funeral Director • June 2019

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What is on tap for the second year of the program?

Cully: Our goal for this year is to proactively find ways to make the Finding Resilience program materials more accessible for busy funeral professionals. We’re looking into ways to provide on-demand video training, self-led video tutorials and even a Facebook page for the program where funeral professionals can receive regular updates and encouragement.

Why it is important for companies like Homesteaders Life Company to offer programs like Finding Resilience not just to their customers, but also to all of funeral service?

Cully: Career burnout and compassion fatigue is a problem industrywide – not just for Homesteaders customers. We are all in this together, and it is in the best interest of client families – our policy owners – that every funeral professional finds balance and fulfillment in the important work they do. •

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American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Pg. 82 Is Texting Impersonal (Bowker).qxp_AFD May BOOK 5/6/19 3:38 PM Page 82

Business

By Ellery Bowker

The answer depends on whether you ask the family or the funeral director. If you ask funeral directors, some would say they’ve been doing it for years and think it’s crazy not to be texting families. Others would say it’s akin to blasphemy.

If you ask families, what would they say?

Without question – and spanning generations – texting has become the preferred way many people communicate. Would getting a text from other businesses be OK but not from the funeral home they use?

The problem with most new ideas in funeral service is the family is not asked if they think it’s a good idea.

The services offered are based on what the owner thinks is – or is not – a good idea.

Based on everything I’ve seen, I think families are fine with it, but I decided to find out what funeral directors think.

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What I found was interesting but also predictable.

Aftercare.com asked 700 funeral homes to share their thoughts on texting families. We chose a list that included small and large firms from all over the country. We received 110 responses, and I was able to get a pretty good sentiment on the general idea of using text messages to communicate with families.

The feelings of funeral directors were split evenly into three categories. The first group clearly did not like the idea. Since Aftercare.com offers a texting feature to families, they shredded me with comments that I was ruining funeral service,

making services impersonal and, my favorite, that I was “partnering with the devil.”

The second group loved the idea, and, in fact, most were already texting their families. The final group was undecided but could see the value. Their hesitancy was more in how to do it rather than should they do it.

The responses were familiar. For 15 years, I’ve witnessed the same hesitancy or flat-out refusal to use something new. In almost every case what seems natural now was, at one time, frowned upon.

Let’s look at some examples: Condolences on websites. Early in American Funeral Director • June 2019

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my career I was building funeral home websites and, believe it or not, there was pushback on the idea of allowing visitors to leave a condolence for the family on the website. Some funeral home owners believed it was impersonal and that you should send a note to the home or make a call. Writing this makes me feel like I’m talking about something at the turn of the century. This was only 15 years ago! The truth is it was not impersonal, it was just a new way of doing something. The sad part was the pushback was unwarranted because it benefited everyone. It benefited the family because they received more condolences. It benefited the community as it made sharing their condolences easier, and finally, it benefited the funeral home because it offered the platform that made the sharing possible. Could you imagine not offering this now?

Flower sales on websites. When this idea surfaced 10 years ago, most funeral homes were against the idea for one reason – they thought it would make the local florist angry. They did not think about the family, who probably didn’t care where the flowers came from, or the community who, without question, would have loved an easier way to order flowers. Thankfully, most have seen the light and are now offering a convenient way for

people to show their love and sympathy by letting them order flowers directly from the obituary.

Answering services. Not that long ago, funeral directors lived above the funeral home so they could be accessible anytime. “Being there for a family” was a literal term. It seems natural now, but, for many to have someone else answer the phone seemed impersonal.

Thanks to answering services, the days of living above the funeral home are gone for most and directors can now be a simple call or text away from serving a family, giving them a level of freedom otherwise not possible.

Webcasting. “If they really cared, they’d show up in person.” That was a frequent comment from funeral home owners not so keen on the idea of streaming the funeral service online. I always wondered how the family member two states away that couldn’t make it because of health reasons would feel hearing that?

Livestreaming is common now, used everywhere and it’s awesome! In fact, I recently watched a program at my child’s school via Facebook Live. To draw a parallel, I’m thankful the headmaster didn’t eschew livestreaming because, “If I really cared, I would be there in person.”

Preplanning online. When the idea of preplanning online was introduced, many said that a family needed to come in and talk with a funeral director to preplan a funeral because they didn’t know what they needed. It seems natural now to allow a family to plan, or at least start, their services online. Not only is it convenient for the family (and the way many would prefer to do it), it’s efficient for the funeral home. Not offering this is shortsighted and will, without question, affect your call volume over time.

Conclusion So, just when is texting too impersonal and when is it acceptable? That, of course, is up to the funeral home owner, but I believe it comes down to your intentions.

• If you are texting a family to advertise or sell something, you shouldn’t do it.

• If you are texting with a family to make arrangements, that’s not impersonal.

• If you are texting a family to check on them after the service is over, that is not impersonal.

For many, texting is the preferred way they communicate now, and funeral homes should not be afraid to communicate this way. Just remember, because the owner is weirded out by an idea doesn’t mean the family will be.

An absolute truth in funeral service is that innovation at the funeral home is limited by the comfort level of the person in charge. There’s an old saying that says the speed of the boss is the speed of the crew. The same is true for a leader’s willingness to adapt and be receptive to new ideas. •

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American Funeral Director • June 2019

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We’re looking for the next generation of standout funeral directors.

American Funeral Director’s

Ones to Watch 2019 Do you know a mortuary student who shows special drive and promise?

Someone poised to become a leader in the field?

If you do, now’s the time to nominate them for American Funeral Director’s Ones To Watch. Please send the name of the student who you think does more than make the grade, and add a paragraph or two about why they deserve to be singled out. Individuals will be judged on community involvement, professional development, leadership and more.

Learn more at www.katesboylston.com/ones2watch.

Entry Deadline: June 15, 2019 www.kates boylston.com/ones2watch

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Preneed

Preneed Touch Points As funeral professionals, you understand the importance of a strong preneed program. But how can you make sure your preneed efforts are as good as they can be and that your families understand the value in preneed arrangements?

Our preneed partners are here to help, offering insights on your most common preneed problems.

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Q“

Many people will say they like the idea of preplanning and doing preneed but they aren’t ready to commit to it.

What are the best ways in moving them to actually doing it?

A

Tyler Anderson, vice president

”

of business development, Precoa

Whether you’re filing your taxes or flying to Hawaii, preparation is essential. Making plans helps us organize our lives, keeping chaos at bay, and a good plan can curb worry. More than that, a good plan lets us enjoy the moments that matter.

For most customers, preplanning a funeral makes sense. Of the 90% of families who know that preneed is an option, 70% think that it’s a good idea. We all understand that decisions are best made when cooler heads prevail, when we’ve taken the time to weigh our best options. Does anyone say, “I prefer to make decisions under emotional duress?”

Probably not. Preneed customers see the appeal and logic of planning in advance, but they still lack one key ingredient: a clear purpose.

Think about the last time you acted without good reason. If you ever purchased a gym membership because it just seemed like you ought to, chances are your ID card gathered dust after two or three months. It is almost impossible to stay motivated when your motives aren’t clear, and this is also true of funeral service.

In our profession, more and more customers intend to opt out of service. When asked about a funeral, many customers claim they would rather not have a ceremony. How often do funeral homes nowadays hear, “What does it matter? I’m not going to be there. Just cremate me.”?

Have Funerals Become Commodities?

Take a moment to put yourself in the consumer’s shoes. You’re sitting down at home with an advance funeral planner whom you have come to know, and now you moved on to the details. Who will be responsible for arrangements? What do you prefer for interment? There are viewing costs to discuss, burial American Funeral Director • June 2019

merchandise options, and your planner assures you that their funeral home provides end-of-life services with licensed care specialists, using first-in-class facilities.

The planner smiles and offers you a pen, but you refuse to sign. What happened?

The funeral planner knows that talking about loss is difficult. You sense their concern and compassion, but they have only explained what they do and how they do it. The problem with this approach, as motivational speaker Simon Sinek would say, is that “People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe.”

If a funeral home frames its value in terms of its credentials, it echoes a common message.Yet many families don’t appreciate the need for funeral service.

They might not yet grasp how everyone who has ever loved the deceased will have a chance to heal. By sharing this perspective, you provide a good reason, and good reasons lead to meaningful action.

Do I Even Need a Funeral?

When people think about funeral arrangements, they think mainly about themselves. They would like to be remembered, but they are taught that this comes down to choosing the best casket, the right dress, or the perfect song. If there’s a ceremony, they hope it will be memorable, but they expect it will mostly be transactional. The funeral becomes yet another commodity. No one informs them that this perspective is reductive, that it impacts healing, and so they hesitate to take action.

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But what if your funeral isn’t about you? Whenever you experience loss, a natural process kicks in for your loved ones. First, they hear the news and react, often in disbelief. Next, they share their feelings, reaching out to others for support. Talking, texting, traveling – they share the news of death as well as stories and memories that remind them of who they’ve lost. They want to begin understanding the reality of what’s happened.

They want to connect with their loved ones who are suffering.

How Do Funerals Help With Healing?

Karl E. Jennings, CEO of Borek Jennings Funeral Homes, describes these first stages of loss – hearing, sharing, seeing – as part of the Acute Loss Period.

These first steps happen instinctively, a necessary stage on the road to healing, but true healing only happens once people gather together. A funeral ceremony is never really about the dead. It’s about their loved ones and what they need. A funeral gives people a socially acceptable place to fall apart.

Yet funerals also provide a space to celebrate everything worthwhile about living. There is a chance to remember, and a chance to connect. Old friendships can be rekindled, broken bonds can be mended, and wounds can be healed. A funeral is one of the few opportunities we have to intentionally reflect on who we are – and how we might still change. People who share in the ritual and ceremony of funeral service realize it is not just a formality. It can be a meaningful celebration, and this is why funerals matter.

Provide the Why The most effective advanced funeral planners reframe their conversations. By illustrating how funerals heal the community of loved ones left behind, they correct a

flawed assumption and touch on a shared belief. When a family first thought about death, they used a very narrow lens. They may have thought about a past funeral handled poorly but not about what their family needs. By opening their eyes to something they already believe in, the healing power of connection and reflection, families walk away with a fresh perspective.

They are now ready to act.

Once people believe in what you do, finding other interested families is every funeral home’s obvious next step. Extensive market research needs to be done in order to generate meaningful leads, which then need to be coordinated with a well-managed sales team. If there is a seamless process for agents to set appointments and a compassionate aftercare program, even better. But having that meaningful conversation with customers is essential. Provide the “Why.” When people discover that their death does not belong to them but to their family, they find a reason to act.

Conclusion Encouraging people to take action is tough. It involves building awareness, effective messaging and often a gentle nudge (sometimes two or three!). But what matters most is providing a good reason. Motives that are undefined or purely selfish rarely last, so an important part of our job is to overturn false assumptions. Customers too often assume that a funeral is a simple commodity, that one size fits all. They understand the logic of planning ahead, but when you can sit down and talk about how a ceremony helps loved ones heal, customers understand why it matters. Reframing a funeral for what it is – not a commodity but an opportunity to appreciate the meaning of a loss – provides perspective. Funerals serve the emotional, relational and spiritual needs of a family.

Learning this changes motivation. It proves why our work is so meaningful. •

Have a preneed question or concern you want answered?

Visit www.kates-boylston.com/preneed-partners to submit your preneed questions, and look for answers in upcoming issues of American Funeral Director.

To learn more about our KB Preneed Partners, visit www.kates-boylston.com/preneed-partners 88

American Funeral Director • June 2019

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CALENDAR [upcoming industry events]

2 0 1 9

10-13

Texas Funeral Directors Association 2019 Annual Convention. Omni Fort Worth Hotel & Fort Worth Convention Center, Fort Worth, Texas. www.tfda.com

11-12

Maine Funeral Directors Association Summer Convention. The Colony Hotel, Kennebunkport, Maine. www.mainefuneraldirectors.org

16-18

Alabama Funeral Directors Association 133rd Annual Convention. Grand Hotel – Marriott Resort Golf Club And Spa, Point Clear, Alabama. www.alabamafda.org

16-19

131st Annual Virginia Funeral Directors Association Convention. Wyndham Virginia Beach Oceanfront, Virginia Beach, Virginia. www.vfda.net

20-23

Montana Funeral Directors Association 2019 Annual Convention. Northern Hotel,Billings, Montana. www.montanafda.org

JUNE 2-3

Tennessee Funeral Directors Association 116th Annual Convention. Sevierville Convention Center, Sevierville, Tennessee. tnfda.org

2-4

2019 Louisiana Funeral Directors Association & Mississippi Funeral Directors Association Joint Convention. Windsor Court Hotel, New Orleans. www.lfdaweb.org/jointconvention

2-5

Pennsylvania Funeral Directors Association Convention & Expo. Kalahari Resorts, Pocono Manor, Pennsylvania. www.pfda.org

3-5

2019 Annual West Virginia Funeral Directors Association Convention. Glade Springs, Daniels, West Virginia. www.wvfda.org

3-6

Michigan Funeral Directors Association 2019 Annual Convention. Blue Water Convention Center, Port Huron, Michigan. www.mfda.org

4-6

Funeral Directors Association of Kentucky 137th Annual State Convention. Kentucky Exposition Center and Crowne Plaza Hotel, Louisville, Kentucky. www.fdaofky.com

5-8

2019 Independent Funeral Directors of Florida Annual Conference & Trade Show. Wyndham Grand Clearwater Beach,Clearwater Beach, Florida. www.ifdf.org

10-12

Date June

25

How to Improve Your Bottom Line. In a rapidly changing industry, you need to be able to make adjustments quickly. Learn the steps to take to improve your bottom line. (Sponsored by Johnson Consulting)

July

23

How to Dramatically Expand Your Urn Selection with E-commerce. Learn how e-commerce and urns are a win-win for you and the families you serve. (Sponsored by UPD Urns)

Aug.

27

How to Make the Most of Your Online Presence.

Having an online presence means more than just having a website or social media page. Learn how to market your brand in creative and exciting ways.

Arizona Funeral, Cemetery & Cremation Association 2019 Annual Convention. The Boulders Resort and Spa, Scottsdale, Arizona. www.afccaannualconvention.org

4-6

9-12

How-To Webinar Series

Georgia Funeral Directors Association 2019 Annual Convention. The King and Prince Beach & Golf Resort, Saint Simons Island, Georgia. www.gfda.org Wisconsin Funeral Directors Association 138th Annual Convention. Potawatomi Hotel and Casino, Milwaukee. www.wfda.info

(Sponsored by MKJ Marketing)

Sept.

24

How to Know If Your Perpetual Care Fund Will Stand the Test of Time. Proper management of a perpetual care fund is often the difference between the long-term success and failure of a cemetery. Learn the steps you need to take.

(Sponsored by PerpetualCareAdequacy.com)

Sign up at www.kates-boylston.com/webinars

Send us your 2019 event, and we will publish it in our next issue. Send the name of the event, date, location, email and phone number to editorial@katesboylston.com. The subject line should read “2019 Calendar.”

Pg. 90 Supplier News.qxp_AFD May BOOK 5/6/19 3:43 PM Page 90

Supplier News [Funeral news, trends & innovations]

Pierce Sales Representatives Earn Special Achievement Awards BROADVIEW, ILL. – Pierce recently presented sales achievement awards to five regional sales representatives for their 2018 accomplishments.

Rick Rork was awarded the distinguished Bill Pierce Award, given to one who demonstrates exemplary professionalism and above-andbeyond efforts. Rork’s dedication to serving his customers and sharing his wealth of expertise with them is second-to-none.

He is a noted instructor at industry continuing education events and has helped many in the industry improve their embalming methods. Rork covers Illinois.

Ryan Lee earned three awards,

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being recognized for the second year in a row for Top Increase in Fluid Sales. In addition, he achieved the Top Sales in Memorial Books as well as the 110% Club Award, which recognizes those who grow overall sales by 10% or more over the previous year. Lee covers California and Hawaii.

Abby Shurtz achieved the Largest Increase in Revenues for 2018, which also earned her the 110% Club Award. Shurtz is a representative for portions of Texas.

Mark Hecht was recognized as Rookie of the Year, achieving excellent sales and territory growth since he joined Pierce in 2018. He

covers North Carolina and South Carolina.

Kevin Russell earned the 110% Club Award for sales growth throughout his territory of Michigan and Indiana.

“All of these individuals exemplify the best of Pierce sales representatives in their professionalism and dedication to their customers,” said Lance Ray, chief operating officer and executive vice president of Pierce.

“With a unwavering focus on customer needs and problem-solving, these representatives are valued by their customers and the entire Pierce organization and are well-deserving of these awards.”

American Funeral Director • June 2019

Pg. 90 Supplier News.qxp_AFD May BOOK 5/6/19 3:44 PM Page 91

Homesteaders Life Company Introduces New Products WEST DES MOINES , IOWA – Homesteaders Life Company has announced the release of two new products – Assurance Elite and Assurance Connect. The new offerings provide a high agent compensation and low premium payment option.

“We regularly review our portfolio to ensure the products we offer help funeral home customers capture new business and build relationships with preneed families,” said Lyndon Peterson, Homesteaders’ executive vice president-sales and marketing. “In the last few years, we’ve recognized a need for a new type of product – one that addresses the demands of very active firms as well as

American Funeral Director • June 2019

those in highly competitive markets.

We designed Assurance Elite and Assurance Connect to address those needs.”

Assurance Elite is optimized for funeral homes that want high upfront compensation to fund active preneed programs. The product offers Homesteaders’ highest available agent compensation. Assurance Connect features Homesteaders’ most costeffective monthly premiums, helping firms compete in markets where price is a competitive differentiator.

With Assurance Elite and Assurance Connect, funeral homes and agents receive: • Simple enrollment forms and easy-

to-use online enrollment.

• Fast, easy claim payment through Homesteaders’ Phone-A-Claim and Instant Claim services.

• Security Option Plus shortfall protection.

• Qualification for agent incentive trips.

“We work with our distribution partners and funeral home customers to develop products that are beneficial to consumers, offer competitive compensation for agents and funeral homes and provide profitability that ensures Homesteaders remains strong and secure in the long term,” Jim Koher, Homesteaders’ executive vice president-chief actuary, said.

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Supplier News [Funeral news, trends & innovations]

People and Companies Making Headlines in Funeral Service LEGACY FUNERAL GROUP has acquired Luginbuel Funeral Homes of Oklahoma.

The original Luginbuel Funeral Home, located in Vinita, has expanded to include Luginbuel South Grand Lake Funeral Home in Langley; Worley-Luginbuel Funeral Home in Grove and Jay; Ellis Family Funeral Home in Grove; Benjamin Funeral Service in Nowata; and Arnold Moore & Neekamp Funeral Home in Bartlesville.

Legacy Funeral Group owns and operates more than 130 funeral homes, cemeteries, and crematories throughout the southwest and

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southern United States.

In other news: Life Celebration Inc. introduced a cutting-edge line of shaped and enhanced products called the Shape-It Series with the investment and installation of a LasX Laser Cutter.

Life Celebration community members began providing their client families with the profession’s only laser cut memorial items that are completely customized and delivered overnight The new line includes pop-up memorial folders and thank you cards, shaped bookmarks and coasters, large and shaped flip

cards, as well as other enhanced products.

The company began looking into the laser equipment more than three years ago. The Life Celebration team traveled to LasX technologies, based in St. Paul, Minnesota, to test out the equipment. They ensured that it was only and exactly what they needed to be able to produce mass-customized laser cut items overnight for funeral homes all over the country.

“From the start, we have been focused on the future and supplying our community members with the most dynamic offerings within the funeral profession,” said Life

American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Celebration President Gerry Givnish.

“LasX is excited to partner with Life Celebration to help bring truly unique and important funeral products into the market,” said LasX application engineer Garrett Potter.

Visit www.lifecelebrationinc.com to learn more. *** Passare Inc. has announced the release of trade cases, a new type of case that will allow customers to track trade work, including trade embalming, removals, and cremations.

“These case types are designed for funeral businesses that provide outsourced trade work to other

American Funeral Director • June 2019

funeral homes,” said Passare CEO Jay Thomas. “The required information on these cases is much different from your typical funeral case, so we’ve created a dedicated type of case to help funeral businesses track these types of cases.”

Trade cases can now be tracked individually and used for custom reporting to help funeral professionals understand business trends and prepare for the future needs of the business.

Visit www.passare.com to learn more. *** Express Funeral Funding has welcomed Kevin Smith as a national account manager.

Smith will develop and maintain

relationships with funeral homes and cemeteries nationwide to promote Express Funeral Funding’s fast and easy insurance assignment funding.

He comes to Express Funeral Funding having spent more than 20 years in the funeral profession in insurance assignment funding Funeral Directors Life has announced the addition of Brian Harpring as market center manager for Indiana.

Harpring has worked as a preneed counselor, life insurance agent, and casket company representative focused on offering technology solutions to funeral home clients. •

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Ad Index [Learn More]

Get information from our advertisers now. We’ve made it fast, easy and convenient to request information about any product or service in this issue. You can call or visit their website for more information on any of the products and services you have been reading about in this issue. Learn more about all of our KB Partners at www.kates-boylston.com Preneed Partners

Page

Phone Number

Website

Columbian Financial Group

33

800-423-9765

www.cfglife.com

Funeral Directors Life Insurance Co.

7

800-692-9515

www.funeraldirectorslife.com

FSI Trust

45

800-749-1340

www.fsitrust.com

Homesteaders Life Company

49

800-477-3633

www.homesteaderslife.com

Great Western Insurance Co.

79

866-689-1401

www.gwic.com

National Guardian Life

57

888-239-7047

www.nglic.com

Security National Life Insurance Co.

38

800-574-7117

www.preneedsuccess.com

Company

Page

Phone Number

Website

Aftercare.com

47

800-721-7097

www.aftercare.com/text

ASD-Answering Service for Directors

76

800-868-9950

www.myasd.com

Batesville

51

812-934-7500

www.batesville.com

Bogati Urns

92

941-751-3382

www.bogatiurns.com

CANA

77

C&J Financial LLC

83

800-785-0003

www.cjf.com

Cherokee Child Caskets

90

800-535-8667

www.cherokeechildcaskets.com

Chosen Payments

78

855.4.CHOSEN

www.chosenpayments.com

Clearpoint Federal Bank & Trust

91

800-763-0234

www.clearpointfederal.com

Continental Computer Corp.

5

800-240-1016

www.continentalcomputers.com

Cooperative Funeral Fund

92

800-336-1102

www.cooperativefuneralfund.com

Cremation With Confidence

18

855-890-3456

www.cremationwithconfidence.com

Custom Air Trays

42

800-992-1925

www.customairtrays.com

The Domani Group

40

800-932-3636

www.thedomanigroup.com

Eagle’s Wings Air

68

866-550-1392

www.EWAcares.com

Express Funeral Funding

35

812-949-9011

www.expressfuneralfunding.com

Ferno Mortuary

37

800-733-3766

www.fernomortuary.com

Foundation Partners Group

53

352-414-4206

www.foundationpartners.com

Frazer Consultants

Inside Back Cover

866-372-9372

www.frazerconsultants.com

Funeral Director’s Managment System

27

480-568-8280

www.webfdms.com

Funeralocity

41

ICCFA

43, 93

94

www.gocana.org/CANA19

www.funeralocity.com/FH 800-645-7700

www.iccfa.com

American Funeral Director • June 2019

Pg. 94 Ad Index.qxp_AFD May BOOK 5/7/19 2:19 PM Page 95

Company

Page

Phone Number

Website

Inman Shipping Worldwide

36

800-321-0566

www.shipinman.com

Innovative Supply

48

800-890-0558

www.innovativesupplyinc.com

Investors Heritage

31

800-422-2011

www.investorsheritage.com

Judith Roth Studio Collection

Inside Front Cover/1

800-413-4455

www.jrcal.com

Junkin Safety Appliance Company

61

888-458-6546

www.junkinsafety.com

Lamcraft Inc.

44

800-821-1333

www.lamcraft.com

Live Oak Bank

73

910-550-2864

www.liveoakbank.com/experts

Messenger Corp.

13

800-827-5151

www.messengerstationery.com

MKJ Marketing

9

888-655-1566

www.mkjmarketing.com

Mortuary Lift Co.

84

800-628-8809

www.mortuarylift.com

National Mortuary Shipping

90

800-321-0185

www.natlmortuaryshipping.com

Passages International

69

888-480-6400

www.passagesinternational.com

Passare

Back Cover

800-692-6162

www.passare.com

Pierce Chemical

81

800-527-6419

www.piercedirect.com

Southwest Airlines Cargo

55

888-922-9525

Thacker Caskets Inc.

3

800-637-8891

www.thackercaskets.com

Vantage

80

800-481-3303

www.vantageproducts.com

VerPlank Enterprises Inc.

39

800-457-7273

www.verplank.com

Wilbert Funeral Service

19

www.swacargo.com

www.wilbert.com

Classifieds [For sale, help wanted, etc...]

2 FUNERAL HOMES FOR SALE IN NORTHERN ARIZONA Expanding retirement community. Two established funeral homes for sale - 430+ calls per year with consistent annual growth. Strong pre-need program. Serious cash inquiries only.

Contact: patgraham1010@yahoo.com

To place an ad, visit www.kates-boylston.com/classified or call 732-746-0233 American Funeral Director • June 2019

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Last Word [ ... on Giving ] “Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.”

– H. Jackson Brown Jr.

americanfuneraldirector.com/facebook

– Anne Frank

– Eleanor Roosevelt

“We make a living by what we get.

We make a life by what we give.”

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”

– Winston S. Churchill

– Pablo Picasso

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”

– Charles Dickens

“Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege.”

– John D. Rockefeller Jr.

– Mahatma Gandhi

“To do more for the world than the world does for you – that is success.”

– Henry Ford

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.”

“No one has ever become poor by giving.”

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”

– Maya Angelou

AFD-JUNE-2019-Covers.qxp_AFD Cover Pages 5/6/19 2:15 PM Page C3

AFD-JUNE-2019-Covers.qxp_AFD Cover Pages 5/6/19 2:15 PM Page C4