12/01–12/02/12
lifestyle & arts | 17
THE NORTH SHORE WEEKEND
LOVE & MARRIAGE
WEDDING BAND? Men lose their first ring all the time ■ by
joanna brown
I think we all have certain routines we work through without paying too much attention. Maybe you drop your keys on the table while you sort through the mail on the way into the house, or you empty your pockets of your wallet, keys, phone and loose change in the same way each night. I take off my watch as I approach the kitchen sink. I place it on the window sill, and then I remove my wedding band and engagement ring and drop them into a cut glass salt cellar that I keep on the window. I squeeze soap into the sponge, and then have my way with the day’s dishes. When I dropped my rings into the salt cellar this weekend, though, they didn’t make the delicate “ping!” that I‘m accustomed to. They sort of clanged, flatly. Upon investigation, I found another ring was already in the salt cellar. Yes, the wedding band that I had so proudly put on my husband’s finger 9 years ago was already in the vessel. And my husband was at a football game. My reaction was a menacing grin because I knew the truth: he took it off before an early-morning swim and forgot to put
it back on before he ran off to his next activity. With that confidence in my back pocket, I was left to capitalize on this harmless mistake. Was he aware that he wasn’t wearing the ring? He’s so rarely without it. And if he did feel its absence, did he know where it was? Did he think I knew where it was? And did he think I’d have strong opinions about his bare finger?
“I’ve kept the same wife, just not the ring. Men are into watches, gadgets.”
— A North Shore jeweler Maybe it was the holiday spirit that inspired a moment of generosity, but I quickly fired off a text message with news that I had the ring (and a warning to watch his step). The last thing I wanted was to find him panicking at the nearest jewelry store – have you noticed the price of gold lately?
The good-natured jeweler at Lake Forest Jewelers says he hears from bare-fingered guys like that all the time. He also asked to remain anonymous for the sake of his clients. “We hear a lot from men who lose their wedding bands,” the jeweler told me. “Women grow up wearing rings and accessories, but for most men the first ring they wear is their wedding band. It’s not that we don’t want to wear it; it’s that we’re not used to it.” Yup. He said WE. The jeweler does not wear a wedding band. In 28 years of marriage, he’s lost three rings. Many of the clients who’ve come to him in a panic have taken their rings off for golf or tennis because they are heavy and the metal is pliable. A lot of men don’t sleep with their rings on, for the sake of comfort. And when you’re not used to wearing a ring, it’s easy to overlook when it’s gone. “I’ve kept the same wife, just not the ring,” the jeweler admitted. “Men are into watches, gadgets. Some men like cufflinks and collect them like women collect shoes and accessories. We’re not into rings.” “You’re just trendy,” I told the jeweler. “Prince William isn’t wearing a wedding band either.” But don’t give my husband that excuse. Love & Marriage columnist Joanna Brown can be reached at Joanna@northshoreweekend.com ■
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