NOVEMBER 2016
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Who Was Gary Fawkes? In 1605 Guy Fawkes, plotted to kill King James I by blowing up the Houses of Parliament (the Gunpowder Plot). Since then England has commemorated the event, on 5th November, with bonfires and fireworks. Occasionally, over the last few years, you will hear people ask “Where is Guy Fawkes when you really need him?” I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying “Fireworks” How right they were. A policeman arrested two kids on bonfire night. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other one off! How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box on November 5th to start your Guy Fawkes bonfire? They say that you should never go back to a firework once lit. Our garden has been out of bounds since 1990. Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire? Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy. How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard. The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
Deputy Gomer
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
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15 The Roane Reader
Does Your Vote Count? A Look into the Electoral College
What president was shot while walking to California Governor The term “Electoral College” doesn’t even appear in the Constitution. Yet its 538 members are responsible for one of the most Jerry Brown' office? significant tasks in the world: choosing the president of the U.S. In the Wizard of Oz, what was When you cast your vote for president this November, you’re not Dorothy’s middle name? voting for the candidate on the ballot, you’re voting for which group What famous document begins: of electors from your state—Republican, Democrat or some third "When in the course of human party—get to vote for president. If you don’t understand exactly how it works, you’re not alone. “For most Americans, even those events..."? who study it, the process is still a mystery,” says Christina Greer, What current branch of the U.S. associate professor of political science at Fordham University. military was a corps of only 50 soldiers when World War I broke How does the Electoral College work? It works a lot like Congress: The U.S. is divided into 435 congresout? sional districts, each of about 710,000 people. Each district elects What was a gladiator armed one person to the House of Representatives. Every state elects two with, in addition to a dagger and senators. Electoral College votes are allocated the same way. (The spear? District of Columbia is the exception; it doesn’t have representation Who was the last president of the in Congress, but it gets three electoral votes.) There are 538 total electors, each with one vote. Soviet Union? What California city did the last In a presidential election, every party picks its own group of electors. The candidate who gets the most popular votes in a state on Election Pony Express ride end in? Day “wins” all the electors for that state (except in Maine and Who was the first U.S. president Nebraska, where electors are doled out differently). Electors then to adopt the informal version of meet in their own states on a set day in December and vote by paper his first name? ballot. Results are sent to the vice president and other officials, What was 11th-century Spanish and the Electoral College is dissolved (until next time). On Jan. 6, military leader Rodrigo Diaz de Congress meets and states’ electoral votes are counted. What if electors don’t vote for the candidate they promised to vote Vivar better known as? for? How many swings of the ax did Sir Walter Raleigh's executioner There haven’t been many “faithless” electors (those who break ranks and vote for the other party’s candidate), but it’s happened—eight require? times since 1900 (nine if you count the blank ballot cast by one What's the biological name for elector in 2000). More than 99 percent of electors have voted the the part of the body that contains way they pledged to since the system began. And those few contrary the stomach, intestines, liver, votes have never influenced the outcome of a presidential election. spleen, and pancreas? What big cat cannot retract its claws? What was the title of the 1993 film about a young boy with an incredible fastball pitch, who earns a spot pitching for the Chicago Cubs? ANSWERS: Gerald Ford; Gale; The Declaration of Independence; U.S. Air Force; Sacramento; A net; Mikail Gorbachev; Jimmy Carter; El Cid; Three; Abdomen, Also called belly; Cheetah; Rookie of the year.
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