March2017

1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748

www.roanereader.com

RoaneReader FREE

Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!

Established 1993

March 2017

Distributed

VOLUME 24

NUMBER 5

7,500

Little River - A Serial ............... 28

By Rachel Holbrook

Precious Memories ................. 2

By Kay Christopher

Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips

Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts

Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers

Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes

Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings

Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes

According to the Almanac ......... 5 When to do what

Never Loose Money .................. 14

By Bob Tonachio

Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly

Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults

Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses

Can You Find MeÂż ................... 22

FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER pg.31 and @

www.roanereader.com/findone Pick one up before they are all gone!

By The Phantom

Pets Page ................................... 23 Tips for your pets

2 The Roane Reader

Phone: 865-882-9340

www.roanereader.com

REUSE RUBBER BANDS

SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY

By O.I. Seenya • Man keeps finding his pitbull unconscious outside in the mornings.

After warming up his car each morning he observed his dog enjoyed breathing the fumes from his exhaust. He cant figure out if he is trying to commit suicide or just likes getting buzzed??

Temporarily childproof cabinets by wrapping rubber bands tightly around pairs of handles.

Every time you dip your paintbrush, you wipe the excess against the side of the can, which eventually causes paint to drip • At one of our local fast food windows. An employee with no cap off the can and make a mess. Try on with her hair hanging down to completely cover one half of her wrapping a rubber band around the paint can from top to bottom, face. going across the middle of the • A patrol car going up the exit ramp on I-40, with no blue lights or can opening. When you dip your siren. brush, you can just tap it against the rubber band and the excess • “Nanny, when I grow up can I cuss? paint will fall back into the can.

• A lady calling for an ambulance because when she woke up from a nap, her arm was numb. Turned out her arm had also went to sleep. Identify Guests' Cups: Write the names of your guests on their • A husband and wife getting into a fight, and after the cops are cups so they can use the same called, the husband goes to jail because he had fewer abrasions on ones for the whole party, cutting him than the wife did. (He also got fired from his job). down on the amount of plastic you go through. Be eco-friendly and put out glasses instead of cups, placing rubber bands with guests' names around them will also cut down on the amount of March 2nd dishes you have to wash.

Happy Birthday

Molly Murphy

9:00am to 4:30pm Mon - Fri The income tax brackets for 2016 are only slightly wider than for 2015 because of mild inflation during the 12-month period from Sept. 2014 through Aug. 2015 that's used to figure the adjustments. Tax rates do not change.

PERSONAL TAXES

Marrieds: lf taxable income is

The tax is

Singles: If taxable income is

The tax is

Not more than $18,550 Over $18,550 but not more than $75,300 Over $75,300 but not more than $151,900 Over $151,900 but not more than $231,450 Over $231,450 but not more than $413,350 Over $413,350 but not more than $466,950 Over $466,950 Not more than $9,275 Over $9,275 but not more than $37,650 Over $37,650 but not more than $91,150 Over $91,150 but not more than $190,150 Over $190,150 but not more than $413,350 Over $413,350 but not more than $415,050 Over $415,050

Household Heads: If taxable income is Not more than $13,250 Over $13,250 but not more than $50,400 Over $50,400 but not more than $130,150 Over $130,150 but not more than $210,800 Over $210,800 but not more than $413,350 Over $413,350 but not more than $441,000 Over $441,000

email: info@roanereader.com

March 2017

Precious Memories By: Kay Christopher

Growing up in Emory Gap, we didn’t have any major attractions to attend, but every year, the city of Harriman welcomed a circus or carnival to town for everyone’s enjoyment.

I remember some locations where they would set up the events.

The old Papermaker Ballpark off Carter St., the soccer field next to Riverfront Park, across the river from the park on Riggs Chapel Road, and in the parking lot behind the American Legion Hall.

No one in our neighborhood could have ever afforded to buy tickets, but I got to go once when it was at Papermaker.

My aunt Betty and Uncle JB lived in a house that had a small garage next to the road. A man from the carnival came by one day and said if they would let them put a sign on the side of the garage to advertise the circus, they would give them 4 free tickets.

The deal was done, and since Betty and JB didn’t have any kids except Eddie at that time, they let me to go with them.

We were so excited! But it’s funny that I can’t remember that much about the actual circus. I do remember a huge tent and a lady in a beautiful trapeze costume balancing on a tightrope, upside down with her head in what looked like a bowl. But I can’t for the life of me remember the clowns or elephants or anything else about it. I was probably only about 5 years old.

The circus used to be the biggest event of the year. They paraded their animals and acts through town in anticipation of rounding up huge crowds to come and see more. My husband, Larry, said he remembers the circus parading from Emory St. over to Roane St. when he was small.

They used to bring the animals by the schools for the children to see and touch. One year, they chose me to sit on an elephant in our schoolyard. I was terrified, but also too scared to say no. I was so glad I did it though, because I never knew how “sticky” a elephant’s hair is.

Now, thanks to declining interest, and opposition from animal rights groups, the traveling circus is no more. It’s just another childhood memory that won’t be experienced by any of our children or grandchildren. What a shame.

10% of taxable income $1,855.00 + 15% of excess over $18,550 $10,361.50 + 25% of excess over $75,300 $29,517.50 + 28% of excess over $151,900 $51,791.50 + 33% of excess over $231,450 $111,818.50 + 35% of excess over $413,350 $130,578.50 + 39.6% of excess over $466,950 10% of taxable income $927.50 + 15% of excess over $9,275 $5,183.75 + 25% of excess over $37,650 $18,558.75 + 28% of excess over $91,150 $46,278.75 + 33% of excess over $190,150 $119,934.75 + 35% of excess over $413,350 $120,529.75 + 39.6% of excess over $415,050

The tax is

10% of taxable income $1,325.00 + 15% of excess over $13,250 $6,897.50 + 25% of excess over $50,400 $26,835.00 + 28% of excess over $130,150 $49,417.00 + 33% of excess over $210.800 $116,258.50 + 35% of excess over $413,350 $125,936.00 + 39.6% of excess over $441,000

230 SOUTH ROANE ST. HARRIMAN - NEXT TO SEARS

Attorneys: Hannah Tippett & William Allen FREE CONSULT No Fee Unless Approved for Benefits

(865) 882-8556

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The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership.

Our address is 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748.

We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.

March 2017

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Just The Facts, Please...

Facts About Dr. Pepper Dr Pepper is a soft drink that many of you would’ve drunk before, its unique flavor is something you wouldn’t forget, check out the facts!

1. Charles Alderton is the man behind the invention of the Dr. Pepper drink.

2. The very first bottle sold on the 12th of January, 1885.

3. Dr. Pepper is the oldest brand in America for the production of soft drinks!

4. Earlier the brand name used to have a full stop at the end of its name. But it was later removed in the year 1950.

5. In 2008 Dr. Pepper offered to give everyone a free drink, if Guns ‘N’ Roses would release their album “decade-in-the-works”.

6. Dr. Pepper has its own museum dedicated to the drink, which is located in Waco, Texas.

7. Earlier this drink didn’t have a name and people used to just call it Waco.

8. Till date, no one actually knows how this drink got the name Dr. Pepper.

9. Aerosmith and Red Hot Chili Peppers are the two rock bands who have Dr. Pepper as their favorite soft drink.

10. Currently, Dr. Pepper is known to blend 23 different flavors in the United States and some other countries.

11. It is possible to heat this beverage and add lemon to it to make a hot drink.

12. Dr. Pepper was many times speculated for having prune juice in it but it does not.

13. There is also a lip balm which has the flavor of Dr. Pepper.

14. This drink is owned by the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group and not

by Coca-Cola or Pepsi.

15. Dr. Pepper also comes in a flavor which is caffeine free.

16. Legend has it that it was named after the father of a girl whom Wade Morrison loved.

17. Wade Morrison was the owner of the drug store in which Charles discovered this drink by an experiment.

18. It was originally made with imperial pure cane sugar.

Eat a hot pepper?

Drinking water will do nothing, because the hotness of the pepper is caused by the oil in the pepper. Water and oil do not mix. The best thing to do is to eat a cracker or a piece of bread to absorb the oil.

Three years after a person quits smoking, there chance of having a heart attack is the same as someone who has never smoked before In a year, the average Americans eats approximately 18 pounds of Turkey The household wrench was invented by boxing heavyweight champion Jack Johnson in 1922 Squids move through the ocean using a jet of water forced out of the body by a siphon Back in 1796, dimes were called dismes Pilgrims did not eat with forks. They only used spoons, knives and their fingers The average human has about 20 square feet of skin weighing about 6 pounds Mass murderer Charles Manson recorded an album titled "Lie." On average, each American consumes approximately two hundred and sixty pounds of meat in a year The term "The Big Apple" was coined by touring jazz musicians of the 1930s who used the slang expression "apple" for any town or city. Therefore, to play New York City is to play the big time The Big Apple An apple, potato, and onion all taste the same if you eat them with your nose plugged. They all taste sweet The United States has paved enough roads to circle the Earth over 150 times.

Decaffeinated coffee is not 100% caffeine free. When coffee is being decaffeinated, 2% of the caffeine still remains in it Sales of antacids increase by as much as 20% the day after the Superbowl Automobile building is the largest manufacturing industry in the world.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes Polar bears can eat as much as ten percent of their body weight in less than one hour

Roane Street Grill HAPPY HOUR

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865-389-6913 gsconst7@aol.com 2641 Sugar Grove Valley Road Harriman, Tn 37748

812 N Roane St. Harriman

4 The Roane Reader

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Entertainment

email: info@roanereader.com

March 2017

The Top 6 Pro Wrestlers of all Times 6. Ric Flair. "I am limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', kiss-stealin', wheelin' dealin', son of a gun!" Nowadays, with Triple H being a 13-time World Champ and John Cena being a 12-time World Champ, Ric Flair's stranglehold on being a 16-time World Champion might not seem overly impressive. But at the time that Flair topped off his career with number 16, it was a watershed moment. Totally unheard of. A true measuring stick. Flair, quite frankly, over his 40 year career was arguably the best wrestler alive or dead.

Borrowing Buddy Rogers packaged gimmick (robes, hair, Figure Four and all), Flair perfected the art of the wealthy, playboy heel and popularized the concept of the suited-up, well-manicured wrestling stable with The Four Horsemen. He was the top technician, cheater and bleeder in the game and it's hard to find a single wrestler out there who doesn't say that he was one of, if not the best of all time. WOOOOOOOO! 5. Bret Hart. It's hard to think about Bret Hart without wallowing a bit in all the tragedy that's befallen the Hart family over the years - including Bret's own premature retirement due to a concussion suffered in 1999. And it would have been amazing to see Bret's career extend on into the new millennium. But despite having his ring career cut down in its prime, no one can take away a single ounce of acclaim for "The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be." After Bret beat Ric Flair for the WWE Championship in 1992, it changed the entire industry, re-setting the WWF back to the days of technical wizardry and reshaping all our notions of what a great wrestling match should actually look and feel like. From his time as a Tag Team Champion with Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart to his storied singles career, Bret truly was the "Excellence of Execution."

4. Steve Austin. When it comes right down to it, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin wasn't born with enough middle fingers. And yes, it's ironic that Austin became the most popular and profitable wrestler in WWE history after he suffered what could have been a career busting neck injury in 1997, which wound up severely limiting his in-ring abilities. Before Austin vs. McMahon launched WWE RAW back to the top, after losing to WCW's Nitro in the ratings for almost two years, Austin was a superb technician. Austin cut his teeth in WCCW and the USWA before heading to WCW as "Stunning" Steve Austin and becoming a member of Paul Heyman's Dangerous Alliance.

Heyman, knowing that Austin was great, but never used, on the mic, gave him an opportunity to cut some promos in ECW after getting fired from WCW and the rest is legend. Austin was so wildly chaotic and malicious that the anti-hero loving crowd began cheering him over Bret Hart, leading to a complete role-reversal. From there on out, it was a Stunner for Vince! A Stunner for The Rock! One for Undertaker, Kane, Mick Foley and Kurt Angle. Not to mention, Shane, Stephanie and even Linda McMahon! It was a time of beer baths and mayhem.

3. Hulk Hogan. In one of those word Jungian word association tests, if the shrink said "pro-wrestling," 99.9% of the world would follow it up with "Hulk Hogan." Hogan is the most recognized wrestling star worldwide and the most popular wrestler of the '80s. His mass-acceptance and enormous popularity gave birth to WrestleMania and the wrestling Pay-Per-View while also allowing him to become the first wrestler to become a successful mainstream merchandising franchise; with everything from cereal to action figures to Saturday morning cartoons in the mix. Yes, "Hulkamania" was an actual diagnosed "mania." Then, in 1996, Hogan shocked the world and turned heel, kicking off another giant money-making era; this time for WCW with the NWO storyline. So say your prayers, eat your vitamins and give some serious thought as to what you might perhaps do when Hulkamania runs wild on you.

2. "Mean" Mark Calaway (The Undertaker). As the morbid, zombie-like Undertaker, he hit the gimmick lottery jackpot. From his debut at Survivor Series 1990 all the way to last WrestleMania's Hell in a Cell match against Triple H, Undertaker's mere presence makes one's jaw drop. From his spectacularly dark, chilling and methodical entrance to his astonishing cruiserweight-style moves (he's 6'10"), no one puts on a show like Taker. He's remained one of the most respected wrestlers, and characters, in the business; treated with actual reverence. Like a cherished, invaluable artifact. Even now, with his limited physical capabilities, Undertaker still shows up every WrestleMania to steal the show. His undefeated WrestleMania streak, as a booked accomplishment, means more than any world title reign. And his 'Mania matches, over the last decade, against Randy Orton, Batista, Edge, Triple H and Shawn Michaels, have been some of the most entertaining and dramatic matches ever held.

1. Shawn Michaels. When he felt pain in the ring, we felt pain. No one sold agony, heartache or triumph like The Heartbreak Kid. Michaels #1 Shawn Michaels was the most athletic, inspired and daring storyteller in the business; raising the bar for the entire industry with each match. We don't have to look much farther than the descriptors "The Showstopper," "The Headliner" and "Mr. WrestleMania" to know that HBK was someone who has performed above and beyond. As the WWE's first ever Grand Slam Champion, Michaels competed in more PWI Match of the Years (11!) than anyone in history while also birthing the Ladder Match, Hell in a Cell and Degeneration X. The emotion one felt while watching a Shawn Michaels match was unlike anything else. There was one man Ric Flair himself wanted to end his career in the WWE with - HBK. Michaels created art in that ring. He was a gifted performer who took wrestling to athletic heights never imagined. And his legacy is made all the sweeter knowing that it was almost all over for him in 1998 when he retired due to two herniated (and one crushed) discs in his back.

He returned to the ring five years later and faced Triple H at SummerSlam. Not. Missing. A. Single. Step.

It's so cold ...

It's colder than a gold-digger's heart.

It's colder than Jack Frost's toes after he skates on an icy pond.

It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.

It's so cold the dogs are sticking to the fire hydrants.

It's colder than a witch's belt buckle.

It's colder than a day-old dumpling.

It's colder than skinny dipping in a snow storm.

Matthew Libby

Licensed Insurance Agent mlibby@healthmarkets.com HealthMarkets Insurance Agency Life | Health | Medicare | Long-Term Care

(865) 414-8257 Conveniently Located @ 806 Gallaher Road. Only 1 mile off I-40, Exit 356 *source: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-much-would-a-heart-attack-cost-you/ HealthMarkets Insurance Agency is the d/b/a, or assumed name, of Insphere Insurance Solutions, Inc. which is licensed as an insurance agency in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. Not all agents are licensed to sell all products. Service and product availability varies by state.

HMIA002891

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're sitting there, staring at the carpet?

March 2017

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5 The Roane Reader

Harriman Care and Rehabilitation Named 5-Star Home

according to the almanac MARCH 2017 Weather

1st-3rd. Unsettled with widespread rain and showers; 4th-7th. Stormy, followed by a return to fair weather.

8th-11th. Scattered showers; 12th-15th. More showers; thunderstorms possible.

16th-19th. Showers; strong-to-severe thunderstorms.

20th-23rd. Fair.

24th-27th. Showers and a few hefty thunderstorms, then turning fair/quite mild.

28th-31st. Fair and warm; unsettled by the 31st.

Best Days To....

Wean animals or children..............................17, 26 Start projects............................................................29 Slaughter Livestock....................................15,16,17 Set posts or pour concrete.......................20,21,22 Quit smoking......................................................17,26 Prune to encourage growth......................1,8,9,10 Prune to discourage growth.........................18,19 Graft or Pollinate.....................................................6,7 Plant below ground crops.................15,16,17,25 Plant above ground crops..................................6,7 Have Dental care...............................................11,12 Harvest below ground crops...................20,21,22 Harvest above ground crops..................2,3,29,30 Destroy pests and weeds............................1,27,28 Cut Hay..............................................................1,27,28 Cut hair to encourage growth...........2,3,29,30 Cut hair to discourage growth................13,14 Castrate animals.........................................23,24 Can, pickle, or make sauerkraut..............15,16,17 Breed animals...............................................15,16,17 Begin diet to lose weight................................17,26 Begin diet to gain weight.............................3,30 C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

To learn more please contact: Debbie Price - 865-469-9007 Debbieprice1055@yahoo.com

Harriman Care and Rehabilitation Center was recently awarded an overall Five-Star Quality rating by The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS). This rating system gathers information from health inspections, staffing, and Quality Measures. According to Saundra Bandy, Marketing Director, “These measures provide information on how well a nursing facility is meeting the needs of their residents”. Olivia Strickland, Business Office Manager, expressed her appreciation of all the employees at Harriman Care and Rehabilitation for their hard work in earning this rating, as well as, for being part of the Eden Alternative which strives to provide quality of life for everyone. Bandy continued by RehabAd_Final_Print.pdf 1 2/21/2017 11:38:56 PM stating “We are very pleased to receive this rating. We are proud to be a provider of quality healthcare in Roane County. We want to make every effort to meet the needs of our community”.

6 The Roane Reader

Phone: 865-882-9340

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email: info@roanereader.com

March 2017

Response: Can You Live for God Without Sinning?

Question: Can you live without sin for one minute? How about 2 minutes? Potentially, you can live without sin for days and months and years when you become a mature Christian. As a committed believer to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Word of God, the Bible, we make a firm vow within our hearts that converts to a Blood Covenant with God through Jesus Christ to live according to the requirements of the Bible and Spirit of God until we die. As such God commits to us to provide leadership, direction and provision in our lives so we can spread the Gospel to the world and make the world the Kingdoms of our Lord and His Christ. (Rev 11:15) In order to make this commitment true we recognize several things that empower us to carry out this mandate. (1) Jesus Blood has forgiven ALL our sins. Reading 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 tells us that ALL our sins are forgiven through the Born-Again experience. Any man in Christ is a NEW creation; old things are passed away, everything has become new. Verse 19 says that God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, NOT IMPUTING THEIR TRESSPASSES UNTO THEM. That is a fancy way of saying God no longer looks at you as a sinner. Why is that? Because verse 21 says, God made Christ to be SIN for us who knew no SIN so that we could be made the righteousness of God in Christ! So If Jesus took ALL our sins, where are the sins we supposedly have if Jesus took them ALL. Many other scripture share this truth. Col 2:13-14 says God nailed our sins to the cross and set them aside. Christ has set me free from the law of sin and death nailing it to the cross. When He arose, I arose with Him as a NEW SON of GOD! Hallelujah!

Then why do I feel sinful? Because I have not matured enough to have the Spirit of God overcome the Flesh of Man in our body. We have been Born Again! We were not Born Again as man; we were Born Again as Sons of God. (Rom8:14; Heb 2:10; Gal 3:26-29, 4:1-7; John1:12) We have not committed enough of our life in the RIGHT way to allow the Spirit of God to Power Down the Devil in our mind and heart. Therefore it feels like I am still a sinner instead of a saint. 1 John injects a formidable dilemma to this idea of sin. 1 John 3:9 says, “He who is born of God DOES NOT sin, because HIS seed remains in him, therefore He Can Not sin.” Many people interpret this as happening after we die and go to heaven. That idea is true in part because no sin will enter heaven, but we are Just Like Jesus Right Now! This is not a figurative concept, but a practical truth of God’s Word that gives us the power to destroy the works of the devil just like Jesus did. This reality is how we are going to complete “the greater things than Christ”, before we go to heaven.

There is much more to this truth in the Word of God. Pick up my book “You can be, Just Like Jesus” at Amazon or go to Firesofourland.com to order. Remember 2 Timothy 2:15, “Study to show thy self approved…” Until next time, this is Bro Luke sharing the Light of the Gospel to set you free.

-------------------------------------------Opening brand new jars can be a feat in itself. Well, Instead of banging a jar of jam, pickles, etc., with a knife until it loosens up, simply reach into the drawer and pull out the handy nutcracker. It adjusts to the size of the jar and simply give it a good twist and off pops the lid!

Bill McFarland Agent

119 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood, TN

(865) 354-9453 bill.mcfarland.b10o@statefarm.com

Phone: 865-882-9340

March 2017

Obituaries

Jan. 19th Edna Ayers, 77, Ten Mile Jan. 21st Glen Franklin Hester, 76, Harriman Jan. 22nd Larry E. O’Dell, 68, Oakdale Jan. 23rd Thomas Lee Armes, Oliver Spgs Jan. 24th Joyce Oran Johnson, 82, Harriman Elizabeth Templeton, 70, Rockwood Dora “Dorie” Dalton, 89, Daysville Kathleen Clark, 83, Oliver Spgs Jan. 25th Sol Press, 93, Rockwood Kathleen Lamb, Rockwood Carolyn Poland-Fuhr, 82, Oliver Spgs

Jan. 26th Mary “Granny” Herrell, 95, Kingston

Linda Davidson Kamer, 67, Oakdale David Hale, 62, Rockwood Joyce Henderson Williams, 90 Jan. 28th Vickie Alene Beason, 57, Kingston James L. Letner, 86, Ten Mile Thomas J. Bell, 76, Kingston Anita Cawood, 55, Rockwood Jan. 30th Al Junior Edwards, 88, Rockwood Ronald “Ron” Reed, 78, Rockwood Jan. 31st Maxine Schubert, 71, Harriman Feb. 1st Vernice Devaney, 94, Harriman Michael Westbrooks, 59, Kingston Wilma Roysden Griffith, 81, Kingston

Feb. 2nd Phil Cox, 68, Harriman Helen Wollmuth, 77, Harriman Fred Kinzalow, 86, Kingston Feb. 3rd Frances Stout Brown, 86, Kingston

Feb. 4th Harley T. Hazelwood, 24, Kingston Feb. 5th Cheryl Potter, 67, Harriman Teresa G. Lawson, 56. Kingston Regina Bane Evans, 55, Rockwood Gary Tinker, 65, Oliver Spgs Feb. 6th James Engram Heath, 89, Kingston Hazel J. Cromwell, 81, Harriman Feb. 7th Michael McKinney, 64, Harriman John Kimbel, Jr., 63, Kingston Feb. 8th Katherine J. Barger, 46, Rockwood Thelma L. Patterson, 89, Coalfield Feb. 9th Mary Helen Cox, 85, Rockwood Feb. 10th Edwin Allen Farmer, 88, Harriman James Pennington, 75, Harriman Larry Joe Day, 66, Kingston Feb. 11th Tony Hutson, 52, Harriman Feb. 12th Ronnie W. Cisson, 53, Rockwood Feb. 13th Debra McCroskey, 58, Kingston Feb. 14th John King, 88, Kingston Feb. 16th Rachel Rose Parker, 96, Kingston “Ann” Stockstill, 82, Harriman Martha E. Miles, 68, Rockwood Feb. 17th Margaret L. Farr, 90, Midtown Feb. 18th Anna Swenson, 77, Harriman Noah O. Dockery, 80, Kingston Feb. 19th Mary F. Alcorn, 89, Alcorn Hollow

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Who said that?

“Don't Just Don't just learn, experience.

Don't just read, absorb.

Don't just change, transform.

Don't just relate, advocate.

Don't just promise, prove.

Don't just criticize, encourage.

Don't just think, ponder.

Don't just take, give.

Don't just see, feel.

Don’t just dream, do.

Don't just hear, listen.

Don't just talk, act.

Don't just tell, show.

Don't just exist, live.”

"Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian."

"Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years."

"I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire...."

"If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread."

“Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

"Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

"Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?

And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss."

"Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw."

"Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water" "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!"

King Agrippa Zacharias John the Baptist Satan Jesus Feb 16th A rich ruler One of the thieves that was crucified with Jesus The Samaritan woman at the well Simon Peter Jesus

?

“I love St. Jude’s Hospital.

Please help support them”.

Happy Birthday

Kay Traughber

(Kayden Christopher)

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8 The Roane Reader

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Bible Quest

When Jesus struggled with his cross, who was forced to bear it for him?

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Bible Beat

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March 2017

Ten Talents, Matthew 25:14-30

God has given you many talents. This could be money, skills, property, or food. It could be dance, laughter, According to the Book of Revelations, what needs to be done to art, music, or farming. He wants you to use the gifts he gives you. Each time you use them, you will improve.

Each time you get really good with one talent, he will reward you by giving you another. receive the crown of life?

He will keep multiplying your gifts when you use them and share them with others.

How tall was Goliath?

Across

The Gospel of Matthew establishes the lineage of Jesus. How many 1. pitch generations are there between Abraham and Jesus?

3. problems 6. ahead What did Paul say was the fulfillment of the Law?

7. someone 8. understood What are the dimensions of the Arc of the Covenant?

9. get crops God parted the Red Sea so Moses and the Israelites could cross. 12. after second What body of water did He part so Joshua and the Israelites could 16. every 18. jobs cross?

20. after At Christ’s crucifixion when did darkness come over the whole land 21. skills and how long did it last?

24. not short How old was Gideon when he died?

25. trip 28. one more than nine 30. crunching Matthew 1:17 Joshua 3:15-17 Mark 15:21 and 33. be afraid Matthew 27:32 Matthew 27:4 Romans 13:10 34. ruler Revelations 2:1 Judges 8:32 Psalm 117 35. all people 1 Samuel 17:4 Exodus 37:1 Down From the Mouths of Babes 1. chompers 2. put seed in When a toddler asked the pastor why he wore a clerical collar, the minister explained it was part of the “uniform” for a pastor in ground 3. created their denomination. He then removed it from his shirt for the lad 4. a place to keep to examine. money “Do you know what it says on the collar?” asked the pastor.

The boy, who didn’t know how to read, looked at the letters and 5. now guessed, “Kills fleas and ticks up to six months.”

7. place 10. not poor 11. give part to Bible Page Sponsored By Psalm 119 is the longest chapter in the Bible. What is the shortest?

Bible Quest Answers

others 13. records 14. belongings 15. loyal 17. named 18. go back

19. taking 22. not wanting to work 23. pair 25. happiness 26. not of use

Who am I?

My husband's name was Elkanah. 1 Samuel 1:1-2.

My husband gave me a double portion of meat because he loved me and because I was not able to have children. 1 Samuel 1:5.

Peninnah, my rival, made fun of me because I was not able to have children. 1 Samuel 1:5-6.

I promised God that if he would give me a son, I would dedicate him to the Lord for all the days of his life. 1 Samuel 1:10-11.

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27. loud weeping 28. swapped 29. supplied 31. excavated 32. not bad

I was praying so hard to God that Eli, the priest, thought I was drunk. 1 Samuel 1:13.

After I told Eli that I was praying to the Lord because of my sadness, Eli said, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:16-17.

God gave me a son and I named him Samuel. 1 Samuel 1:20.

I gave my son to the Lord so my son could serve the Lord for his whole life. 1 Samuel 1:22-28.

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March 2017

Voice Crying Out in the Desert, John 1:6-8, 19-28 You have ten talents. Discover them. Listen to your brother. Teach your sister to ride a bike. Set the table for supper. Wash the dishes.

Sweep the floor. Hold a door for someone with a wheelchair. Share your toys with a neighbor. Pray for the family behind you in church.

Don't hide your talents. The more you them, the more talents God will give you.

J A G T H X I N T E R E S T S E S O V L

O M I O G N R K T C V G H D C N M C G A

Y M L M L R M E N K Z O A A T T A S R D

E E L A Z Y I P T E O O R R A R L E O D

A C C O R D I N G U W D V K L U L T U I

ability according accounts additional bank bringing buried called darkness demanding dug each entrusted faithful

J O U R N E Y L D B R P E N E S W T N T

L R B U R I E D O I A N S E N T I L D I

W T H G A T H E R N N N T S T E C E Z O

P T E N T R A D E D G G K S S D K D B N

R O R E S P O N S I B I L I T I E S I A

five forward gather good grinding ground harvest hole immediately interest journey joy knew lazy

H D S U T M A T T E R S U M N P D M Z L

F U F S T H A P D F U J F S A L M C P M

R G W H E B B E L U I A C C E E A E O S

B E R S I S M F S A I V C M D L R N E H

M O C L E A S C O T N O E I L S E A T A

long made master matters money person plant possessions received reply responsibilities return rich scatter

W A I E N R A I H R U T A E O Y C S K R

G T S D I T V F O N W T D N R H X B S E

Y R I T T V U A T N E A B R I N G I N G

B N W E E L E S N L S X R J C M A D E C

Bible Facts

The last word in the Bible is AMEN About 50 Bibles are sold every minute The Bible was written in three languages: Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek.

Dogs are mentioned 14 times in the Bible, and lions 55 times, but domestic cats are not mentioned at all.

The Bible, the world's best-selling book, is also the world's most shoplifted book.

The oldest almost-complete manuscript of the Bible still existing is the Codex Vaticanus, dating from the first half of the 4th century, now held in the Vatican library.

The word "Christian" appears only three times in the Bible: Acts 11:26; 26:28; 1 Peter 4:16.

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Bible Trivia 1. What does Simon Peter do for a living before he becomes an apostle?

2. In the Gospel of Mark, how does the Virgin Mary learn of her pregnancy?

3. Who is Stephen in Acts of the Apostles?

4. According to the Gospel of Matthew, who visits Jesus at his birth and where does this meeting take place?

5. By what name is Paul of Tarsus known before he begins his missionary activity?

6. According to Paul’s formulation in 1 Corinthians, which is the greatest of the imperishable qualities?

7. Who is the high priest of Jerusalem who put Jesus on trial?

8. In the Gospel According to John, which of the apostles doubts Jesus’s resurrection until he sees Jesus with his own eyes?

9. According to the Gospel of Matthew, where does Jesus’s first public sermon take place?

10. How does Judas signal Jesus’s identity to the Roman officials?

Trivia Answers

He was a fisherman From the angel Gabriel The first Christian martyr The three wise men, in a stable Saul

Love Caiaphas Thomas On the mount He kisses him.

servant settled share small talents teeth ten throw time traded useless wicked

Just in Case You Didn’t Know...

Almonds and pistachios are the only nuts mentioned in the Bible.

A &

G X R I V R Q D Y T I Y N D H R E P L Y

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March 2017

The Old Outhouse An outhouse, also known by many other names, is a small structure, separate from a main building, which covers one or more toilets. This is typically either a pit latrine (long drop) or a bucket toilet, but other forms of dry (non-flushing) toilets may be encountered. The term may also be used to denote the toilet itself, not just the superstructure.

Outhouses were in use in cities of developed countries (e.g. Australia) well into the second half of the twentieth century. They are still common in rural areas and also in cities of developing countries. Outhouses that are covering pit latrines in densely populated areas can cause groundwater pollution.

In some localities and varieties of English, particularly outside North America, the term "outhouse" refers not to a toilet, but to outbuildings in a general sense: sheds, barns, workshops, etc.

Outhouses vary in design and construction. They are by definition outside the dwelling, and are not connected to plumbing, sewer, or septic system. The World Health Organization recommends they be built a reasonable distance from the house balancing issues of easy access versus that of smell.

The superstructure exists to shelter the user, and also to protect the toilet itself. The primary purpose of the building is for privacy and human comfort, so that the user is not exposed and does not get wet when it is raining or cold when it is windy. Walls and a roof for privacy and to shield the user from the elements—rain, wind, sleet and snow (depending on locale)—and thus to a small degree, cold weather. However, the building has the secondary effect of protecting the toilet hole from large influxes of water when it is raining, which would flood the hole and flush untreated wastes into the underlying soils before they can decompose.

Outhouses are commonly humble and utilitarian, made of lumber or plywood. This is especially so they can easily be moved when the earthen pit fills up. Depending on the size of the pit and the amount of use, this can be fairly frequent, sometimes yearly. As pundit "Jackpine" Bob Cary wrote: "Anyone can build an outhouse, but not everyone can build a good outhouse." Floor plans typically are rectangular or square, but hexagonal outhouses have been built.

The arrangements inside the outhouse vary by culture. In Western societies, many, though not all, have at least one seat with a hole in it, above a small pit. Others, often in more rural, older areas in European countries, simply have a hole with two indents on either side for your feet. In Eastern societies, there is a hole in the floor, over which the user crouches. A roll of toilet paper is usually available. Old corn cobs, leaves, or other types of paper are also used.

The decoration on the outhouse door has no standard. The well-known crescent moon on American outhouses was popularized by cartoonists and had a questionable basis in fact. There are authors who claim the practice began during the colonial period as an early "mens"/"ladies" designation for an illiterate populace (the sun and moon being popular symbols for the sexes during those times). Others dismiss the claim as an urban legend. What is certain is that the purpose of the hole is for venting and light and there were a wide variety of shapes and placements employed.

Different systems The shelter may cover very different sorts of toilets. A common one is the pit latrine or pit toilet, which collects human feces in a hole in the ground. When properly built and maintained they can decrease the spread of disease by reducing the amount of human feces in the environment from open defecation. When the pit fills to within 1.6 feet of the top, it should be either emptied or a new pit constructed and the shelter moved or re-built at the new location.

Ponder On This...

How to Amaze the Irish

The Texan paid a visit to Galway, Ireland. He enters a pub and If you really could dig a raises his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He shouts, 'I hear you Irish hole to China, and you did, are a bunch of drinkin' fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to and you fell in, would you anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back.'

The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan's offer. stop in the middle Paddy Murphy gets up and leaves the bar. Thirty minutes later, he because of gravity?

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Sam Sandifer Mar. 27th

shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. Is your bet still good?' asks Paddy.

The Texan answers, 'Yes, 'and he orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, Paddy downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back. The other pub patrons cheer and the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, 'If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?'

Paddy Murphy replies, 'Oh....I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.'

March 2017

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A Brief History of Turn Signals . . .

In the 100-plus years of the motor vehicle, technological advancements such as seat belts, air bags, computer controlled ignition, fuel injection and anti-lock brakes have made driving safer and better.

However, the turn signal seems to have been stuck in somewhat of a time warp. Even though turn signals are a vital automotive safety feature, the modern turn signal control has remained unimproved for more than six decades.

The first application of a flashing electric turn signal was used on the 1938 Buick as a new safety feature. It was advertised by Buick as the “Flash-Way Directional Signal”. By 1940, Buick added the self-canceling mechanism attached to the steering column.

This complex and sensitive mechanical method of springs, cams, sliders and lobes with fixed shut-off points is still used worldwide in virtually all vehicles. This was indeed an ingenious solution in 1940 and has worked well enough to get by for many years. But as all drivers and vehicle manufacturers can attest, it is a system that has had nagging issues and flaws from the beginning, such as: · Costly Mechanism: The self-cancel assembly is a high cost, labor intensive mechanism to assemble with many delicate and fragile parts to assemble. It also takes up a good deal of valuable space within the steering column. · Turn Signal Left On: We’ve all seen it. We’ve all done it. A car going down the road with an erroneous, unsafe turn signal that is left on because the mechanism failed to shut it off automatically.

The driver is unaware that the turn signal is on and may drive for miles with it left on. · Premature Shut Off: A turn signal that trips off before the turn is even made because of a particular wiggle of the steering wheel.

As drivers, if we recognize that it shut off, we simply re-activate it, but in reality it is a nuisance and could in fact present a dangerous situation. · Noise: The relentless “tick tock” noise that is there to remind us that this is an imperfect system and is likely to need our attention.

To the driver, it is ever-present in the subconscious and is but one more potential driving distraction. The noise is there to help, but is not likely audible if the stereo is up or the windows are down. · Durability & Reliability: The sensitive mechanism also has to be robustly designed to withstand potentially severe user’s abuse.

There are numerous, delicate, lubricated parts in this mechanism and over the long term, the assembly can become sloppy, wear out or break, depending on severity of use. Items like flasher modules are likely to fail at some time.

These were problematic issues in 1940, and they remain issues today. The sad truth is that the best technology we have to offer to the discriminating driving public is over 67 years old.

So, like the 1940 Buick itself, the current modern turn signal system should be a museum piece, not the mainstream. It would be safe to say that the time for a more advanced approach is long overdue.

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Household Hints Carbon Monoxide is a tasteless orderless killer, protect your loved ones by purchasing a Carbon Monoxide Detector, there as easy to install as a Smoke Detector.

Clean cloudy glassware. To remove hard water deposits, scrub cheap, white toothpaste all over the glass and rinse thoroughly.

You can remove candle wax from candlesticks and clothing by freezing the items. The wax will flake off easily.

Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords in. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to

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March 2017

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes HATTIE SHILLINGS

Loaded baked potato casserole 5 potatoes, quartered and parboiled* 8 strips of bacon, cooked and crumbled 1 cup (225g) shredded cheddar cheese 1/2 ( 115g) cup sour cream 1/2 (115ml) cup milk

1/2 bunch chopped scallions (green onions) 1 10oz (280g) can Ro*Tel 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper

1. Parboil the potatoes in boiling water for 10-15 minutes and drain. Preheat your oven to 375° and For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put lightly grease a 3-quart casserole dish or 9" x 13" casserole pan. Place the quartered potatoes into the Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't bottom of the casserole dish. refreeze.

2. In a small bowl, mix together the milk, sour cream, salt, and pepper. Pour the mixture over the Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, potatoes. Pour the Ro*Tel on top of this layer and spread evenly with a wooden spoon. Sprinkle the dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease crumbled bacon over the top and finish with an even layer of the shredded cheddar cheese.

3. Cover with aluminum foil and place in the preheated oven. After 20 minutes, remove the foil and that is!).

Mustard, chocolate and lipstick can be removed by rubbing a few leave to cook for an additional 10 minutes. Sprinkle the freshly chopped scallions over the top before drops of liquid glycerin into the stains first and then rub in stain serving. remover or laundry detergent. Launder as usual in cool water first Pro tip: If you can't find Ro*Tel, try your hand at making your own by placing 10oz of chopped tomatoes into a saucepan with 1 chopped jalapeño. Allow it to simmer until the liquid has reduced by 1/3.

Use either a pink or amber colored light bulb in your lamps to create Stuffed Peppers a romantic ambience.

Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.

1 cup water 1/2 cup uncooked rice 2 green bell peppers, halved and seeded 1 tablespoon olive oil 2 green onions, thinly sliced 1 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon Italian seasoning 1 teaspoon salt 1 pinch ground black pepper 1 tomato, diced 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

In a medium saucepan, bring water to a boil. Stir in the rice. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 20 charm! minutes. Remove from heat, and set aside.

Pre-Shave for Silky Smooth Legs: Add a couple of drops of essential Place the peppers cut-side down on the prepared baking sheet. Roast 25 to 30 minutes in the preheated oil, such as eucalyptus, bergamot, or lavender, to castor oil and mix oven, or until tender and skin starts to brown. with hands. Then apply the perfumed castor oil directly to wet legs.

While the peppers are roasting, heat oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Cook the onions, Clean fruit without soap. – A mixture of baking soda and water (just basil, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper in oil for 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the tomato, and cook for 5 enough to form a paste) works wonders to remove dirt and pesticides minutes. Spoon in the cooked rice, and stir until heated through. Remove from heat, mix in the feta from the outside of fruit. cheese, and spoon the mixture into the pepper halves.

Remove potato skins the easy way. – Simply boil your taters for a Return to the oven for 5 minutes. Serve immediately. few minutes to soften up the skin then drop them in ice water. The Spinach Quiche skins will separate easily. Goodbye messy potato-peeler!

1/2 cup butter 1 (6 oz.) package herb and garlic feta, crumbled Repair the mesh screening on playpens. Sew up the rip with dental 3 cloves garlic, chopped 1 (8 oz.) package shredded Cheddar cheese floss.

1 small onion, chopped salt and pepper to taste Fix a wobbly table. Cut a flat eraser to fit the bottoms of the table 1 (10 oz.) package frozen chopped spinach, 1 (9 inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust legs and affix with nails or glue. thawed and drained 4 eggs, beaten 1 (4.5 oz.) can mushrooms, drained 1 cup milk Clean grease from hands. Rubbing shaving cream between your hands will dissolve grime without water.

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Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a medium skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Saute garlic and onion in butter until lightly browned, about 7 minutes. Stir in spinach, mushrooms, feta and 1/2 cup Cheddar cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Spoon mixture into pie crust.

In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs and milk. Season with salt and pepper. Pour into the pastry shell, allowing egg mixture to thoroughly combine with spinach mixture.

Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Sprinkle top with remaining Cheddar cheese, and bake an additional 35 to 40 minutes, until set in center. Allow to stand 10 minutes before serving.

Paper Cut: A tree’s last act of revenge.

NOTICE

Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences.

The Roane Reader

March 2017

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Cleaning Your Car’s Carpet and Upholstery There's nothing worse than buying a new car, or clean used one and weeks later, it looks more lived-in than a 100-year-old house. Drive-thru food and drinks, kids with sticky candy, and drooling Fido also do their fair share toward making your car's interior — be it leather, cloth, or carpet — look beaten and worn. By maintaining the appearance of the vehicle inside as well as out, you retain the value of the car, which will help you when it's time to trade it in or sell it.

1. Dilute coffee spills immediately with cool water and blot with paper towels or clean rags. If a stain remains after the spot dries, spray on a glass cleaner (yes, a glass cleaner!). Soak the area, allow to sit for five minutes, and blot. Glass cleaner cleans all types of carpeting and upholstery without leaving the soapy residue of most traditional carpet cleaners, which only attract more dirt afterward. Glass cleaner is normally effective on even the most difficult stains. Once your carpet is cleaned it's time to Scotchgard the surface to limit further staining.

2. Most greasy carpeting and upholstery stains can be removed by rubbing on paint thinner with a clean, 100-percent cotton cloth. Then cover the stain with salt until the remaining grease is absorbed, and vacuum. Or cover the spot with cornmeal and let it sit overnight and vacuum in the morning. Note: Test the effect of the paint thinner on the colorfastness of the carpeting and/or upholstery in a discrete area first.

3. Hairspray will lift out pen ink stains on carpeting or upholstery. Salt will also lift the stain out of the carpet. Allow to sit until the stain is absorbed and brush off. Repeat if necessary.

4. Carsickness stains, from children, pets or adults, should be diluted and neutralized (vomit is acidic) with club soda or a mixture of baking soda and water.

5. Blood stains on carpeting or upholstery, whether animal or human, should be immediately covered with a paste made up of dry laundry starch and cold water. (Do not use hot water, as it will set the stain.) Allow to dry, then brush or vacuum the residue away.

6. Though you should never drink and drive, if alcohol spills while on your way home from the grocery store, beer and alcohol spills on your carpeting should be immediately diluted with cold water so they don't permanently change the color.

7. To clean vinyl seats quickly, wipe them with baking soda on a damp rag. Rinse with dishwashing detergent and water. Baking soda is gentler on vinyl than oil-based cleaners, which will cause the vinyl to harden.

8. For general carpet or upholstery stains, take a gallon of hot water, a generous amount of dish detergent, and add a cup of white vinegar. You'll need a hard bristle brush to work the mixture thoroughly into the carpet fibers. Let sit for 30 minutes. Blot until dry with towels or thick absorbent rags. (This also works well for pet stains).

9. To brighten a fading carpet, first vacuum, then use a sponge mop to lightly apply a mixture of a half cup clear ammonia to one pint of water. Test this mixture on a discrete area of carpeting of first. Note: Do not use ammonia on wool carpeting.

10. If carpeting begins to smell, sprinkle on 20-Mule Team Borax generously, then let it sit undisturbed for an hour before vacuuming up both dirt and unpleasant smells. If your dog goes off-road with you, you might be interested to learn that a second application of Borax will kill fleas and their eggs.

11. Carpet edges starting to fray? Paint carpet seams and edges with a liquid resin, found in craft and fabric stores, to hold the fibers in place.

12. Before your vehicle carpets begin to show excessive wear and tear, vacuum them just as you would at home. This will lift the fibers back upright and counteract the long-term ill effects of the dirt that's been pounded into it. If the situation is really bad, you might consider renting a steam cleaning-machine available at most supermarkets. If you do, be sure to bring up all the water when you're done, as stepping on a wet carpet only will damage the fibers further.

13. Spraying a mixture of five parts water and one part liquid fabric softener onto your carpets will lessen carpet static and remove the light shock that occurs when you touch metal objects.

14. To keep car mats looking brand new, wax them with a liquid shoe wax polish. This will also make them much easier to rinse clean.

13 The Roane Reader

Penny Pinchers Don't buy expensive wrinkle remover spray. Simply fill a spray bottle with equal parts white vinegar and water and sprintz on the item. Test area first.

Pre-Shave for Men. Mix equal parts of castor oil and sweet oil, along with add a drop or two of an essential oil, such as lavender or eucalyptus. Moisten beard with warm water, and first apply a small amount of the pre-shave mixture, and then the usual amount of shaving cream. Shave as usual.

Blood. For clothes that you launder, soaking the bloodstained garment in cold water for about 30 minutes will usually remove it.

However, if stains are visible, mix a bit of water with unseasoned meat tenderizer (which breaks down the protein in the blood) and apply to the area. If the garment can’t be laundered at home, take it to the dry cleaner right away and identify the stain. Let the professionals save the clothing.

Barbasol regular shaving cream will defog mirrors for up to a week.

Wipe it on with a cloth and then wipe it off with a lint-free cloth.

Mix 3/4 cup olive oil, 20 drops lemon oil, (or lime oil or orange oil) and 1/2 cup vinegar. Store in a capped bottle and use as needed to polish your furniture or your cabinets.

If you have people smoking in your home, light some candles to absorb those nasty odors, or, soak a towel in vinegar. Wring it out and whirl it over your head all around the house to get rid of odors.

HEADACHE REMEDY: 2 aspirin, 1 Tbsp. Vinegar, 1 lemon wedge, 2 oz. Club Soda. Drop both aspirin in a glass and stir in the vinegar until aspirins are dissolved. Add Club Soda and squeeze the wedge of lemon juice into it. Stir well, Drink it to relieve a headache easily.

Clean the stovetop. Boil water in a kettle. Dribble a very shallow layer of water over the entire stovetop and it sit for about five minutes. Scrub, wipe with soap, and rinse. This method may not work for all stoves. If you own a ceramic or induction stove, be sure to check the instruction manual and other documents.

Look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China.

To make a good pumice soap, mix some sugar and liquid soap such as Dawn to cut greasy grime, then wash hands as you would normally.

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Point To Ponder

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In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

John 14:2-3 KJV

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March 2017

The Best Major Market Crash “Insurance” You Can Buy Gold is answer because it offers protection against both inflation and deflation. It is one of the few assets to do that. It’s like insurance against economic disaster.

Bob Tonachio

It’s surprising how few investors get this, because it’s really not complicated. As I said, gold is the anti-paper currency. It is insurance against the destruction of the dollar (and all other paper currencies) by central bankers. The destruction of the value of paper money is a certainty. It is as certain as death and taxes.

Since President Richard Nixon took the United States off the gold standard in the early 1970s, the U.S. dollar has lost more than 90% of its value against gold. I believe before central banks are done with their monetary experiments that are destroying the world, the U.S. dollar will lose another 90% or more of its purchasing power against gold.

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Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen as well as European Central Bank President Mario Draghi and Bank of Japan Governor Haruhiko Kuroda have publicly stated that they want inflation to rise. That means that they want the value of paper money to fall. While official inflation statistics say that inflation is low, real-world prices are rising quickly. These central bankers are completely failing in stimulating economic growth, but they are succeeding in destroying the value of paper money.

Gold will protect you from what they are doing. Gold will protect you against the inflation that is destroying the value of your paper currencies, as well as the value of your stocks and bonds that are denominated in those paper currencies.

But it will do something even more important…

There are two types of inflation. The type of inflation that central banks are trying to create is in the prices of products and services.

But there is another type of inflation going on in the price of financial assets such as stocks and bonds, high-end real estate, and art and collectibles. But it is not the intrinsic value of these assets that is increasing – rather, it is the value of the paper currencies used to buy them that is declining. This is what the economist Irving Fisher called a “money illusion” in the 1920s.

The factor that is driving the value of these assets – the devaluation of the dollar – is the printing of trillions of dollars of cheap debt by central banks. Sooner or later, this money-printing will stop – and the value of these financial assets will collapse in what we call a deflationary bust.

That’s what happened in 2008-9 during the financial crisis.

The good news is that the value of gold did not collapse during the financial crisis. It actually increased and is likely to do so when the next crisis – the Major Crash – hits.

Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates a national financial services company. He is on Radio 580 Am every day at 7:30 in the morning or 12:30 in the afternoon He may be contacted at 865-376-4925

March 2017

Phone: 865-882-9340

Winterize ALL Your Animals

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15 The Roane Reader

WEATHER VANES~ Turning in the Wind

As the temperature is expected to fall below zero and the wind picks A wind vane, weather vane or weathercock is an instrument used to show the direction of the wind. up, don't forget to take extra care of cats and dogs.

“Vane” comes from the Old English word “fana” meaning flag.

No matter what the temperature, wind chill can threaten a pet’s life. Originally, fabric pennants or banners flew from medieval towers in Britain, Normandy and Germany The wind can lower the temperature 10, even 20 degrees, causing to show archers the direction of the wind.

Later cloth flags were replaced by metal ones, balanced to turn in the wind, and decorated with the serious problems for your pet.

Many urban farmers worry about their backyard chickens. The coat of arms or insignia of the lord of the castle. Early American Colonists favored this banner design biggest problem in chicken coops is usually to keep water thawed. on meeting halls and public buildings.

You can buy heated chicken water containers at the feed store. It’s According to legend, a 9th century papal decree ruled that every church should display a cock or important to keep the coop dry and to make absolutely sure the rooster on its dome to remind Christians of their faith (this was a reference to Jesus’ prophecy at the Last Supper, that his disciple Peter would denounce him three times before the cock crowed in the chickens can get out of the wind. morning.) weathervanes_097While these cockerels were at first not intended as weather vanes, they The chickens will roost together and they are pretty good at keeping were eventually combined with the weather vanes that already dotted many church steeples to create each other warm, but a heating lamp may be a good addition if there the familiar rooster-shaped weather vane common today. are just one or two birds in a coop, and adding more straw to nesting A rooster weather vane is recorded in the Bayeux Tapestry, an embroidered cloth celebrating the 1066 boxes is a good idea, too.

Norman conquest of Britain. Among the countless details documenting the aftermath of the battle is a We sometimes forget that pastured horses need extra care in the depiction of a craftsman preparing to install a weathercock atop London’s Westminster Abbey. winter. Make sure they have water and that they can get out of the Largely ornamental today, in the early days of farming in New England weather vanes were used to wind. tell wind direction. The first New England weather vanes were light and sensitive. Made of wood, Outdoor horses probably need more hay because they use more most were a simple arrow or pointing hand. weathervanes_017On barns near the ocean a fish, ship energy staying warm in the winter. or whale was common.

The opposite is true of inside animals – like pet dogs and cats – who Farmers kept diaries with weather records and scanned the skies frequently as almost every task on a often sleep more and exercise less in the winter. Never leave indoor farm was either helped or hindered by the weather; especially those tasks involved in cutting, baling, rolling, stacking and storing hay. The weather vane on the top of the barn was a more important pets outside when it’s this cold. farming instrument than a clock. Weather or wind vanes tell only the direction of the wind at a given People think dogs and cats have fur and that’s enough, but it’s not time. The practical determination of weather conditions and what they meant to the farmer was enough for domesticated animals. They are used to living in your based on the farmer’s first hand observation, experience and local knowledge. In rural areas weather house. vanes were especially popular as many farmers were isolated from local towns and could not rely on Outdoor dogs should have a dry, warm place to seek shelter out of communal weather vanes located on the church roof or the town hall. And, there was no six o’clock the wind, and never be fed frozen food or water. Because it takes weather forecast aided by radar and reports from neighboring states! more energy to stay warm during winter, outdoor animals eat more. How does a weather vane work?

And don’t be too quick to make fun of those little dog sweaters and The vane turns freely on a fixed vertical rod and is designed to point into the wind. In order to function jackets. properly, the weather vane ornament must have equal mass or weight on each side but have an unequal A short haired dog – especially one that is low to the ground – may area on opposite sides of the vertical rod. This allows the point of least resistance to always face into the wind. The weather vane must be on the highest part of the barn or building where the wind can hit the really benefit from some type of garment when it’s outside. vane unobstructed.

And watch their feet, they can get dried and cracked from the chemicals Snow melt, salt and deicer is rough on dog and cat paws, and The rotating vane the directional letters “N” “S” “E” and “W” are sometimes fixed to the rod. These cardinal points make it easy to antifreeze for the car is poisonous. determine the direction of the Feral cats often seek shelter under a warm car hood. wind. By knowing which way Smack the car hood to scare them out, every time you get into your the barn was situated the farmer car. Every year cats show up at the vets with no hair on their back, could figure out the wind direcbecause they got caught in an engine. tion even without the addition of the letters.

Why do we have corned beef and cabbage As the popularity of weather vanes spread throughout New on St Patrick's Day? England, farmers began to create CLEANING UP? It was the one thing Irish immigrants would eat in the U.S. unusual and whimsical designs.

WE HAVE DUMPSTER because it reminded them of home. The truth is, most Irish In addition to the traditional folks don't eat corned beef and cabbage nowadays. However banner and arrow, designs on RENTALS AVAILABLE it's become a tradition Irish-Americans readily adopted, and Madison barns include a running welcomed as part of the Irish-American heritage we have here stag, a prancing horse, and a horse with carriage. now.

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16 The Roane Reader

Phone: 865-882-9340

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Funny facts that will make you smile

After reading this you will not recognize that the the brain doesn’t recognize the second ‘the’.

Bubble wrap was originally intended to be used as wallpaper.

Every human being starts out as a butt: it’s the first part of the body to form in the womb.

Receiving a text message which says, “”can I ask you a question” is known to scare 99% of people!

You are completely blind for hours every day, but Saccadic Masking renders you totally unaware of it.

Tears caused by sadness, happiness and onions look different under the microscope.

The expiration date on water bottles is for the bottle, not the water.

Bird poop is white because they don’t pee.

First law of cartoon physics: gravity doesn’t work until you look down.

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March 2017

Food Contamination Food can get contaminated if it is not cooked thoroughly, especially meat. Eating food that was incorrectly stored or was not reheated sufficiently can cause food poisoning. Consumption of food items which are past their “best before” date can also cause food poisoning.

1. Raw meat and poultry, raw eggs, unpasteurized milk, raw or undercooked fish or shellfish, uncooked hot dogs, luncheon meat and soft cheeses are susceptible to contamination.

2. Symptoms can start within hours of consuming contaminated food, but can sometimes begin days or even weeks later.

3. Those affected by food poisoning usually get better in a few days even without treatment.

4. It is important to drink lots of water and get plenty of rest when suffering from food poisoning.

5. Eating light meals of bland foods like toast, crackers or bananas can also help.

6. Over 250 different food-borne diseases have been identified so far and most are infections caused by bacteria, viruses and parasites.

St. Patrick Day Funnies

'What's wrong with Murphy?' asked Father Green. 'I don't know, Father. Yesterday he swallowed a spoon and he hasn't stirred since,' said Mrs Murphy.

A passer-by watched two Irishmen in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.

'Tell me, 'said the passer-by, 'What on earth are you doing?'

'Well, 'said the digger, 'Usually there are three of us. I dig, Fergal plants the tree and Sean fills in the hole.

Today Fergal is away unwell, but that doesn't mean Sean and I have to take the day off, does it?'

Soon after O'Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.

When O'Shaughnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news.' To be sure it was, Boss, 'he replied, 'I just found out from Ireland that my mother died earlier this morning.'

'Gosh, that's awful, 'replied the foreman, 'Do you want the rest of the day off?'

'No, 'replied O'Shaughnessy. ' I'll finish the day out.'

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him in the office. This time when O'Shaughnessy returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything was alright.

'Bejeezuz Boss, its even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died today too!'

March 2017

Phone: 865-882-9340

Tomb of the Unknowns 1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?

21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1 3. Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and if not, why not?

He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb.

After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5. How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10' and 6' 2' tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30.

Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives.

They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn.

The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.

There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform.

Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred.

Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

United States Coast Guard Auxiliary WATTS BAR LAKE FLOTILLA 12-08 NOW OFFERING A 2 DAY BOATING SAFETY CLASS FOR 2017 Being held at the Kingston Community Center 201 Patton Ferry Rd - Kingston, Tn

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17 The Roane Reader

The Door to Hell

Derweze is a small village in northern Turkmenistan. Located in the middle of the desert and with a population of only 350, it doesn’t make for a popular tourist destination. That goes double once you realize that Derweze is the location of the Door To Hell—a 70 meter wide hole in the earth that has been burning for over 40 years. In 1971, a team of geologists accidentally broke through the surface into a massive underground cavern, which proceeded to cave in and swallow the drilling rig. Worried that the cave was releasing dangerous gases, the geologists lit it on fire to burn off the gases. Sure enough, it caught fire—and then never went out. The crater rests atop an underground field of natural gas, and it has kept the fire burning for nearly half a century.

Southern Snow People say Southerners don’t know what to do with snow. They couldn’t be more wrong.

Maybe we Southerners don’t know how to plow snow or drive on ice, but we do know how to turn even the tiniest snowfall into a lifetime memory. An epic experience. An endless photo stream that leaves all of our blizzard-weary Northern friends scratching their heads and saying, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a measly inch of slush! We get that much snow every single minute.”

No, our Yankee friends don’t always see snow the same way we do. It’s not their fault. When your house is buried up to the eaves in dirty snow all winter long (bless your hearts), snow eventually becomes a messy inconvenience—but for Southerners who see snow only a few magical days a year, it’s different. We have made a pact here in the South, almost as sacred as ice tea and Sunday suppers: Together we will uphold the Southern Snow Ethic, and teach our children to do the same. What’s the Southern Snow Ethic, you ask?

Not a single snowflake shall be wasted. Not on our watch.

Every flake that falls on Southern soil shall be played in, sledded on, and pounded into service as a slushy snowman. Every flurry-fall, however small, provides an opportunity for skipping school and work. Every sleet pellet shall be used to celebrate with childlike abandon alongside family, friends, and random neighbors we meet while pulling makeshift sleds down the street behind trucks, ATVs, and the occasional family pet.

Because of the Southern Snow Ethic, we can take two inches of ice and turn them into a glorious four-day extravaganza of sled-crafting, hill-hunting, and casserole-sharing.

With the Southern Snow Ethic, there are no excuses: Not enough snow to make a full-sized snowman? Sure there is. You either borrow your neighbors’ snow, or you decorate the hood of your pickup with a snow-baby.

No snow boots? No problem. We can transform plastic grocery bags into waterproof snow boots. (And gloves and hats, if necessary.) We look ridiculous, but we don’t care. Our usual impeccable Southern fashion sense does not apply to Southern Snow Days.

No sleds? Think again. We can make sleds out of anything. And we do mean anything: cardboard, greased cookie sheets, garbage can lids, Styrofoam packaging, laundry baskets, garbage bags, even our beloved tailgate coolers.

No snow tires? Who cares? We don’t need chains on our tires to get us home from work in a snowstorm; we have our own frostbitten feet to walk us home for miles along the gridlocked highway, thank you very much.

Because it comes so rarely, we Southerners have the luxury of celebrating snow as the most beautiful of winter’s gifts. For us, it’s not a mess. Not a delay. Not an inconvenience.

We see snow as the essence of childhood, and innocence, and freedom. Something white, and pure, and beautiful. Something fun. Something surprising. Something no one—not the weatherman, not the government, not the superintendent—can control. It shows up, it takes over, and we just let it fall where it wills, for as long as it wants.

When it melts, we’ll get back to school, to work, to real life. But today—and maybe tomorrow, if the freeze holds—God himself has declared a Southern snow day, and that means a day off for everyone, no matter how rich or poor, blue collar or white collar or redneck under the collar. So grab your plastic bags and your laundry baskets, and have yourself a Southern Snow Day.

18 The Roane Reader

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PSALMS OF PRAISE

email: info@roanereader.com

The Roane Reader proudly presents

by: Katie Bailey Randolph Make a joyful noise unto God all ye lands.

Of old hast thou laid the foundations of the earth; And the heaven's are the work of thy hands.

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

Oh that my people had hearkened unto me, And Israel had walked in my ways.

For thy namesake O Lord, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great.

Good and right is the Lord: therefore will he teach sinners in the way.

For in thee, O Lord, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God For I will declare mine iniquity: I will be sorry for my sin.

Blessed be the Lord God of Israel from everlasting to everlasting.

Amen and amen.

Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.

I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.

Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: Let such as love thy salvation say continually, the Lord be magnified.

The law of his God is in his heart: none of his steps shall slide.

We have heard with our ears, O God, our fathers have told us what work thou didst in their days, in the times of old.

Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul.

Our soul waiteth for the Lord, he is our help and our shield.

Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I shall live.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house and be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.

Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O Lord, according unto thy word.

I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.

For thou hast maintained my right and my cause; thou satest in the throne judging right.

Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel who only doth wondrous things.

Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.

In God will I praise his word: in the Lord will I praise his word.

Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord. praise ye the Lord.

And Yet

by: Gary Spreacker

THE WRITER'S PAGE March

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As we march on into spring Looking forward to what the year may bring As the wind flows through the trees We can feel the gentle breeze of God’s spirit flowing down.

As we see the sun a glowing all around It reminds me of God’s face smiling down on me Oh how He has set me free From law of sin and strife, the wages of sin is death.

The gift of God is eternal life We shall be set free from this world of strife If you sin you will never win.

For there remaineth no more sacrifice to those who willingly sin.

The things down here are temporal.

The Things in the hereafter are eternal.

VICTORY by: Pinky White

Victory is mine, not for what i have done.

But i got victory all thru God’s son My sins all forgiven, He made me a fit person, for heaven Thru His blood so sweetly He gives That is why thru Him we can live He brings us up when we get so low He walks beside us wherever we go.

He stands and fights my battle for me, So i don’t have to do it you see He is my dearest friend here on earth Thank Him so much for my second Birth Yes victory is mine and is so sweet One day I'll get to kneel at His feet Victory could be yours today, As He deals, please don’t turn Him away

March 2017

I am a poor, needy sinner; Yet the Lord thinketh on me!

His thoughts are far above my thoughts: Why He would show me mercy!

Jesus Christ died for the sinner.

From sin's bondage He doth free.

O, the grace of God, our Savior: That He chose to think of me.

I was bound for hell forever; Yet, the Lord Jesus called me.

I have heard the voice of His words; His preachers said, "Come and see!"

Though in darkness, yet, I saw Him. Though I was deaf, yet, I heard.

Even so far away as I, Yet, I heard my Master's Word.

Stubborn, wicked, living in sin, Yet, the Lord hath redeemed me!

Though an outcast and forsaken, Yet, now I belong to Thee!

I was His sheep long before time, With no claim on God's dear Son. Yet, I will rejoice in the Lord, The God of my salvation.

Seek and you shall find by: Judy Reid

Count your blessings at the close of the day Review your storehouse of gold The golden love of family and friends That rewards you with pleasure untold Take time to visit your garden of blooms In each there’s a message of love The beautiful colors that brighten your day Can warm your heart like a glove Enjoy your dreams as you glide in your swing Travel back to yesterday’s ways by: Elsie Wyrick Hold in your arms loves from the past We all know about that hill called Mt. Calvary Back in your rapturous days and the three crosses that were their.

There were three men to be hung on those crosses. Kneel by your bed at the end of the day They put one man on the right cross With your hands folded in prayer They put one man on the left cross Give thanks to the Lord for the blessings you know Those two men were thieves.

Who else but He put them there?

They put one man in the middle Our time is no more than a blink of the eye This man was Jesus Christ Embrace it as it races by He was the only begotten son of God almighty.

Let every day shine to vie with the sun He was crucified for all peoples And glitter like stars in the sky everybody’s sins then, now, and forever.

Today you stand by the side of the road Now, I have a question, Watching the masses pass by what are you doing with the chance Tomorrow, you’ll know the measure of time He is still giving you to forgive your sins?

You will have had your blink of the eye.

Don’t let His death to have been in vain.

Calvary

March 2017

Phone: 865-882-9340

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19 The Roane Reader

Prayers for Baby Kayden ---------------------------

Kayden’s doctors at St. Judes have taken him off his chemo medicine!

They said that although the tumor is still in his brain, the cancer cells inside it are dead.

Don’t tell me God doesn’t answer prayers!

Please pray that Kayden’s cancer doesn’t return.

The doctors are certain that with proper therapies, Kayden will mentally and physically catch up with others his age!

Kayden’s facebook is: Prayers for Baby Kayden

If you wish to send any mail to Kayden or contribute to his fund, he has an account at Enrichment Federal Credit Union and also has a Go Fund Me account.

His address is: Kayden Christopher 197 Shady Dr. Harriman, TN 37748

We know God can heal Kayden, and with your prayers, maybe God will intervene and perform more miracles on Baby Kayden.

--------------------------------------------If running gives you nighttime cramps in your calves drink tonic water before you go to bed. It contains quinine, a plant extract that acts as a muscle relaxant. Add lemon to the tonic water or mix it with orange juice to reduce its bitterness.

2017 Kid’s Tournament Apr. 1st Apr. 15th May 13th June 10th June 24th July 8th July 22nd Classic WHERE: Tom Fuller Park Boat Ramp Rockwood Sign-Up 7 a.m.

Blast-Off 8 a.m.

Weigh-In 1 p.m.

Nationally Certified as a Consumer Bankruptcy Specialist

$30 per boat

Tournament Director: Allen Sheldon For more info, call 423-539-5561

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Phone: 865-882-9340

20 The Roane Reader

WWW.SMOKYMOUNTAINSPEEDWAY.COM

Mar. 9th - Test & Tune Mar. 10th - 4th Annual Tennessee Tipoff Classic - Night 1 Ray Cook's Spring Nationals Super Late Models - Qualifying & Heats Sportsman Late Models - $2,000 to win Mar. 11th - 4th Annual Tennessee Tipoff Classic - Night 2 Ray Cook's Spring Nationals Super Late Models - $15,000 to win Street Stocks - $2,000 to win April 1st - Smoky Mountain Spring Shootout Super Late Models - $7,500 to win Southeast Dirt Modified Series - $2,000 to win April 29th - "Rockin' with the Stars" Southern All Stars Super LMs - $7,500 to win USCS Outlaw Thunder Sprint Cars USCS Mini Sprints

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Mar. 4th Mar. 11th Mar. 18th Mar. 25th April 1st April 8th April 15th -

Test and Tune & Swap meet Test and Tune & Swap meet Season Opener Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing Weekly Points Racing and Dwarfs w/ Easter Egg Hunt at 1 pm April 22nd - Weekly Points Racing $500 to win for Thunder April 29th - Weekly Points Racing

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Mar 25th - OPEN PRACTICE Practice 1 pm - 5 pm April 1st - OPEN PRACTICE Practice 1 pm - 5 pm April 7th - OPEN PRACTICE Practice 6 pm - 10 pm

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March 2017

2017 MONSTER ENERGY CUP SERIES SCHEDULE

Date

Race

Feb. 18 Feb. 23 Feb. 26 Mar. 5 Mar. 12 Mar. 19 Mar. 26 Apr. 2 Apr. 9 Apr. 23 Apr. 30 May 7 May 13 May 19 May 20 May 28 June 4 June 11 June 18 June 25 July 1 July 8 July 16 July 23 July 30 Aug. 6 Aug. 13 Aug. 19 Sep. 3 Sep. 9

The Unlimited Can-Am Duel Daytona 500 Folds of Honor QuikTrip 500 Kobalt 400 Camping World 500 Auto Club 400 STP 500 O'Reilly Auto Parts 500 Food City 500 Toyota Owners 400 GEICO 500 Go Bowling 400 The Showdown All-Star Race Coca-Cola 600 AAA 400 Drive for Autism Axalta "We Paint Winners" 400 FireKeepers Casino 400 Toyota/Save Mart 350 Coke Zero 400 Quaker State 400 New Hampshire 301 Brickyard 400 Pennsylvania 400 Watkins Glen 355 Pure Michigan 400 Bass Pro Shops NRA Bojangles' Southern 500 Federated Auto Parts 400

Sep. 17 Sep. 24 Oct. 1 Oct. 7 Oct. 15 Oct. 22 Oct. 29 Nov. 5 Nov. 12 Nov. 19

Chicagoland 400 - Challenger New England 300 - Challenger Dover 400 - Challenger Bank of America 500 - Contender Alabama 500 - Contender Hollywood Casino 400 - Contender Goody's Fast Relief 500 - Eliminator AAA Texas 500 - Eliminator Can-Am 500 - Eliminator Ford EcoBoost 400 - Championship

Driver Name Jamie McMurray Brad Keselowski Austin Dillon Kevin Harvick Kasey Kahne Trevor Bayne Elliott Sadler Danica Patrick Denny Hamlin Ty Dillon Clint Bowyer Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Kyle Busch Daniel Suarez Matt Kenseth Ryan Blaney Joey Logano Joey Gase Chase Elliott Paul Menard Ryan Newman Matt DiBenedetto TBA Landon Cassill Chris Buescher David Ragan Kurt Busch Kyle Larson Aric Almirola AJ Allmendinger Jimmie Johnson Timmy Hill Erik Jones Martin Truex Jr. Alex Bowman Dale Earnhardt Jr. Michael McDowell D.J. Kennington

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March 2017

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Facts About Women

Facts About Men

We set our alarm for 10 minutes earlier than needed and oversleep anyway.

We always apply mascara with an open mouth and, if we ever attempt to shut it up, we always mess up and get that mascara stain.

We throw our phone into our big purse and then, spasmodically, look for it and can’t find it when it rings.

We always carry around our big purse full of stuff that we never use, but we always think that one day we might need it right there.

We arrange stuff into the right place and then, we forget where the right place was.

We look for our sunglasses when they are right on top of our head.

When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we often think: “It would be great to have a picture taken in this position…”

When we are in a hurry, we always look for keys that we had in our hands just couple of seconds ago.

We always need to keep two or more different shampoos, various conditioners and two (or more) different shower gels in our bathroom.

We definitely need to check out how we look in the mirror before hitting the outside world.

It’s ok for us to dance with other women without thinking that we are “gay”, but when we see two men dancing together, we quickly start having second thoughts…

We always have nothing to wear, even if our closet is overloaded with stuff…

We brush our hair before going to bed.

When we go to public restrooms, we love going there in groups, so that we can have a chat…

We often feel insecure about our breast size.

We think that all beer tastes the same.

We always dress up nicely and apply makeup to go grocery shopping, empty the garbage or, even, to just answer the phone.

When we use a map we need to turn it to the direction that corresponds the one we are heading to.

When we say to a guy: “Well…nothing…”, we mean an entirely different thing.

We are never wrong. We wait for men to take initiative and apologize.

We drive miles out of our way, because we are scared of getting lost using a shortcut.

When we cry, we would love someone to see it and offer us a cuddle.

In entertainment, while men are seeking the escape from reality, we, ladies, on the other hand, look for stuff that reminds us about the real life.

Usually, we have over 50 different items in our bathroom most of which men would hardly identify.

We all are afraid of bugs, spiders and mice.

When we go on a 3-day trip we, usually, pack over 7 outfits, just in case we will hesitate about what to wear.

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.

The way a man looks at himself in the mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to KNOW. Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

All men hate to hear "We need to talk." No matter what the subject is, these seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Norman Schwarzkopf.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log doesn't burn, he will take it personally.

Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in the winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo!"

Most men hate to shop. That is why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

Men forget everything. Women remember everything.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

All men would still really like to own a train set.

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Justin Stout and Kay Christopher

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Did You Know....

Roane County, The Way It Was

By Robert Bailey, Roane County Historian The Historic Roane County Courthouse

Roane County is home to only one of seven antebellum Courthouses still standing in Tennessee. It was built between 1853 and 1855 for a cost of $9,400. The architects were Frederick B. Guenther, a native of Germany, and Augustus O. Fisher. It was built by Fisher and John D. Lowery. It is a unique design of Federal and Greek Revival Architecture and, perhaps, the first split level courthouse built in the South. No nails were used in the original structure. During the Civil War, the building was used as a hospital and lookout by both Northern and Southern troops. Graffiti remains on a wall left by a Union Soldier in 1864. In 1937, a three story addition was added to the east side of the building. It was constructed by the Works Project Administration (W.P.A.). The W.P.A. was created as a program to put people to work during the depression. It marked the first time that the building had indoor plumbing. The building was used as a courthouse until 1974, when the current courthouse was constructed.

Through two Department of Transportation Grants and donations, renovations were just completed including the restoration of the courtroom which will become a transportation museum highlighting Roane County’s rich history of roads, steamboats and railroads.

Former Restaurants in the City of Harriman (If you remember more, please let us know) ALICE'S ARCHIES BEACON BONNIE'S BROWN'S CAROL ANN CRITT'S DAD'S LUNCH DIXIE'S DRIFTWOOD EUCHIES CAFE GOLD STAR HAMILTON'S HOG HEAVEN HOWARDS JIM'S BURGERS KELLERS MARSHALL'S MILL CAFE PAT'S PLACE PATTON HOTEL PAULA'S

PASQUALES PIERCES RANCH HOUSE RENFRO'S RINK'S HOTDOG BUS SCOOTERS SCOTTIES SHIVERS SHUG'S SILVER QUEEN SNOW KING SNOWS TAS-T BURGER THE GRILL THE LOG CABIN THE MIDGET THE SPOT TINY TOT TWIN BURGER VINEYARDS WESTERN SIZZLIN WHITEWAY

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March 2017

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿)

In Japan, the number four is con- Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader sidered to be unlucky because Go to www.roanereader.com/thephantom the Japanese word for four PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, sounds very similar to the word EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. death ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!!

The life expectancy of a $100 Entries that fail to provide all this information will not qualify! bill is nine years The words moron, imbecile, and idiot are not interchangeable.

The one with the highest level of intelligence is a moron, followed, by an imbecile, and then idiot Marlboro was the first cigarette company to market a cigarette that had a red filter called "beauty tip." This was done to hide the lipstick marks left on the filter from women smokers Anise is the scent on the artificial rabbit that is used in greyhound races The first known American novelist to hand in a manuscript that was typed was Mark Twain.

His typewriter was a Remington No.1, which was invented by Christopher Sholes and Carlos Glidden.

The city of Nottingham in England was the first city to have Braille signs (signs for the blind) in its shopping malls for the blind

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The Veterans memorial at River Front Park Harriman

March 2017

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A Fifteenth Letter to America

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Think About It

Do prison buses have emergency by: Manuel Ybarra, Jr We presently have an almost uninformed, or misinformed America. exits?

This includes our government leaders, news people, educators, and Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over the rest of us.

Those who knew about the Muslim 30-year plan to conquer different time zones in space?

America, through immigration into our country, failed to put that When lightning strikes the ocean, why don't all the fish die? information out to the public, or the media didn’t touch it.

That plan, such as, “Expanding the Muslim presence by birth rate, If a guy that was about to die immigration, and refusal to assimilate,” is being carried out, as in the electric chair had a heart well as other parts of the plan. Not only by Muslims, but by many attack, should they save him? well-meaning Americans, who haven’t got a clue, they are being If London Bridge is standing used, by them in their quest for “world domination.” why is there a song about it Being naïve and uninformed is no excuse. All countries are more falling down? than justified to ban Muslims from their country because all are Why do we sing "Rock a bye endangered. America is no exception, but may be the prime target. baby" to lull a baby to sleep America should declare The Muslim Brotherhood a terrorist Group, when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting not because we want to, but because that’s what they are.

All news organizations, which are failing to inform America, should the wind crash the cradle on the first read, “The Muslim Brotherhood’s Strategic Plan.” The plan has ground?

When crazy people walk through been called,” To Conquer America Through ‘Civilization Jihad.’

One can easily see that Islam is not the word from the “ Living God the forest, do they take the our Creator.” It goes against His Commandments. God’s plan of psycho path? salvation/heaven is by the blood of his precious Son, Jesus. Theirs If parents say, "Never take candy is by spilling innocent blood of other humans. Murderers without from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween? salvation go to Hell in God’s plan.

If a parsley farmer loses a law Email: mybarrajr77@outlook.com suit, do they garnish his wages?

The Shamrock Can a cemetery raise its prices The shamrock is undoubtedly the most identifiable symbol of and blame it on the cost of Ireland. Shamrock comes from the Irish Gaelic word Seamrog, a living? word that refers to the plant's three leaves.

The shamrock as symbol of Ireland and St. Patrick's Day is partly Do the minutes on the movie due to the natural abundance of clover plants in the country, but boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or largely due to its strong association with Christianity. just the movie itself?

Legend says that St. Patrick used the shamrock to visually illustrate the concept of the Trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? when trying to convert polytheistic pagans to Christianity.

In Christianity, God is three persons, but it's not the same as three What does PU stand for (as in gods. The simple analogy is thought to have helped non-Christians "PU, that stinks!")? understand a fundamental element of the Christian religion.

What do they call male meter Whether or not this story is true, the shamrock is regarded as the maids? national plant of Ireland and always worn on St. Patrick's Day. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

If you were driving at the speed of light and turned on your headlights, what would happen?

Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?

-----------------------------------I was tucking my son in bed last night when he tells me his teacher is "an idiot" and "out to get him."

Which is the last thing you wanna hear, especially since he's home schooled

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Facts About Insects and Bugs Night butterflies have ears on their wings so they can avoid bats.

Monarch caterpillars shed their skin four times before they become a chrysalis, growing over 2700 times their original size.

There may be as many as 3,000 different kinds of insects — more than all the other animal and plant species combined.

Of the huge numbers of insects, only a tiny amount, one percent, are harmful to humans. Most insects are harmless or actually beneficial.

For example, without bees to pollinate flowers, plants would not have a way of reproducing and we wouldn’t have anything to eat!

Locusts can eat their own weight in food in a day. A person eats his own body weight in about half a year.

The earliest fossil cockroach is about 280 million years old – 80 million years older than the first dinosaurs!

The desert locust is the world’s most destructive insect. It can eat it’s own weight in food every day. Large swarms can gobble up to 20,000 tons of grain and plants in a day.

The honeybee has to travel an average of 43,000 miles to collect enough nectar to make a pound of honey!

Out of every 1,000 Mosquito's, one female carries a disease that could be fatal to humans.

Honeybees have hair on their eyes.

The average housefly lives for one month.

There is only one insect that can turn its head — the praying mantis.

A slug has four noses.

Some male spiders pluck their cobwebs like a guitar, to attract female spiders.

A mosquito flaps its wings 500 times a second.

Only male crickets can chirp.

Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day!

About 80% of the Earth’s animals are insects!

The common garden worm has five pairs of hearts.

Dragonflies can fly up to 50 miles per hour.

The praying mantis is the only insect that can look behind its shoulders.

One kind of insect called a spittle-bug, lays its eggs in a big nest of saliva bubbles. I guess no predator would look for a meal in there!

A snail can sleep for 3 years straight!

The heaviest insect in the world weights 2.5 ounces.

A cockroach can live for up to 3 weeks without its head!

A butterfly has its taste receptors in its feet!

The mayfly only lives for 8 hours!

The female black widow’s poison is 15 times deadlier than a rattlesnake’s!

There are worms in Australia that are over 4 Feet Long!

The weight of all the termites in the world outweigh the weight of all humans 10 to 1!

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How to Celebrate St. Patrick's Day

March 2017

St. Patrick's Day is a cultural and religious holiday celebrated on the 17th of March, and named in honor of the patron saint of Ireland. The festival commemorates the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, as well as celebrating Irish heritage and culture. St. Patrick's Day is now celebrated by many people throughout the world, Irish and non-Irish alike, with food, drink and all things green. Here are some guidelines on how to celebrate St. Patrick's Day Irish-style!

Learn a little of the history of St Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day has been observed as a religious festival in Ireland for over a thousand years, though it was only recognized as a celebration of Irish culture and heritage in the 1970s. The day is named in honor of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, who has been credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland. There are multiple origin stories for St. Patrick, but: most sources agree that St. Patrick's actual name was Maewyn Succat. They also agree that Maewyn was kidnapped and sold into slavery at age 16 and, to help him endure his enslavement, he turned to God. Six years after his captivity began, St. Patrick escaped from slavery to France, where he became a priest, and then the second Bishop to Ireland. He spent the next 30 years establishing schools, churches, and monasteries across the country. He brought Christianity widespread acceptance amongst the pagan indigenous peoples.

It is thought that St. Patrick used a shamrock as a metaphor for the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), showing how three individual units could be part of the same body.

His parishioners began wearing shamrocks to his church services. Today, "the wearing of the green" on St. Patrick's Day represents spring, shamrocks, and Ireland.

Go green. Unless you want to, you don't have to wear a sweater with a giant shamrock on it. The great thing about this holiday is you are free to go as subtle or as wild as you like. St. Patrick's Day t-shirts have been a common article of clothing to wear proudly. Consider the following suggestions when picking out something to wear: An all green t-shirt with optional Irish-related sayings, for example, "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" Note that no real Irish person over the age of ten would be caught dead in one of these. T-shirts with Irish beer monikers such as Harp or Guinness are more acceptable Accessorize. Buttons, pins and jewelry are all great ways to dress up an outfit. On St. Patrick's Day, they become ways to express the fun side of fashion. Nothing is too gaudy or outlandish. Buttons with clever (or not so clever) sayings are also encouraged. Small shamrock pins are a great and subtle way to express your support of the holiday.

Dying your hair or your pet's fur bright green is also a great way to stand out. Be sure to use a non-toxic dye. It's also common to see kids (and sometimes adults) with their faces painted on St. Patrick's Day, particularly if they're attending the parade. Cute shamrocks on the cheeks are a popular option, along with full-faced Irish flags of green, white and orange. Learn some Irish words and phrases. The Irish have their own distinct dialect of the English language, so if you want to sound like a true Paddy on St. Patrick's day, try sprinkling some of these Hiberno-English gems into your conversation: What's the craic? This phrase can be interpreted as either "How's it going?" or "What's going on?" and is used in non-formal settings. Craic is a very important word in Ireland and can be used to describe your enjoyment of an event or activity, e.g "How was the party?" "Ah sure, it was great craic altogether!" Use "craic" in the correct context and you'll earn major points with the Irish. Grand is another multi-purpose word in Hiberno-English. It doesn't mean large or impressive, but rather translates as "fine" or "great" depending on the context. "I'm grand" is a perfectly acceptable reply to the question "How are you?" and means the person is doing just fine.

Learn to Irish Dance. Irish dancing is a form of step dancing which is popular both in Ireland and all over the world. Not only will it impress everyone you know, but it's also a fun way to increase flexibility and burn calories! You can learn how to Irish dance by attending classes in your local area or by copying some of the excellent Irish dancing videos and tutorials online. Whip out a few impressive steps and lifts the next time you hear a reel or a jig and nobody will question your Irish credentials.

Get some friends together and learn how to cĂŠili (kay-lee) dance - a form of Irish social dancing that can be done with as few as two and as many as sixteen people. If you get good enough you can compete in the many feiseanna or Irish dancing competitions that take place all over the world. Even better, you can volunteer to perform in the next St. Patrick's Day parade!

Eat traditional Irish food. Beer and spirits are not the only great consumable goods to come out of Ireland. Corned beef, cabbage and lamb stew accompanied by traditional Irish soda bread are tasty ways to "keep it real." Potatoes are about as Irish as you can get and are one of the staples of the Irish diet.

Play some Irish music. Ireland has a long history with music, and many incredible styles have emerged. Celtic, folk and traditional Irish pub songs might just get you in the St. Patrick's Day spirit! You can play some Irish music at home, listen to it on the radio (some stations will have special St. Patrick's Day features) or find out about any Irish bands or musicians playing locally. Alternatively, you can try your hand at some traditional Irish instruments, such as the tin whistle, the bodhrĂĄn, the harp, the fiddle or the uilleann pipes. However, you're not likely to produce anything very melodic sounding if it's your first time!

Attend or get involved in local parades. If you can't make it to the five day festival in Dublin, Ireland, check out the scene locally. Many parades feature the best of local dance troupes, marching bands, gymnasts and musicians in addition to spectacular themed floats and brightly costumed participants. There are many ways to participate in your local parade. You can get dressed up and march in the parade yourself, help design costumes or floats or help out with the organization of the parade. St. Patrick's day is a festive, communal holiday - so get involved! Though small towns aren't likely to have parades, many large cities such as New York City, Boston, St. Louis, San Francisco, Chicago, London, Montreal and Sydney have great celebrations. Savannah, GA boasts the second largest parade in the United States, while out of any US state, Boston has the highest number of Irish descendants by percentage of population, and its South Boston St. Patrick's Day parade is the first recorded anywhere in the world.

Consider having a party at home. If you aren't a fan of the bar scene but still want to celebrate, invite a few friends over and have a St. Patrick's Day themed party. Go as extreme or as laid back as you want: insist that everyone wear green or just have them come as they are and chill out.

In Ireland it is common to get together with family for St. Patrick's Day, so perhaps you'd like to do this too.

March 2017

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GEEZER TEST! ARE YOU "OLDER THAN DIRT?"

1.Where did headlight dimmer switches used to be located? a. On the floor shift knob b. On the floor, left of the clutch c. Next to the horn 2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle has holes in it. For what was it used? a. Capture lightning bugs. b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing c. Large salt shaker 3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters? a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled c. Milkmen left deliveries outside doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance? a. Blackjack b. Gin c. Craps 5. What method did women adapt to look as if they were wearing stockings when none was available due to rationing during W.W.II? a. Suntan b. Leg painting c. Wearing slacks 6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going? a. Studebaker b. Nash Metro c. Tucker 7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid? a. Strips of dried peanut butter b. Chocolate-licorice bars c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water

inside 8. How was Butch wax used? a. To stiffen hair cut into a flattop so it stood up b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust 9. Before in-line skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes? a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key b. Woven straps that crossed the foot c. Long pieces of string or twine 10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision? a. Consider all the facts b. Ask Mom c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo 11. What was the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex? a. A cold b. VD c. Cooties 12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey?" a. SUV b. Taxi c. Streetcar 13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony? a. Old Blue b. Paint c. Macaroni 14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill? a. Part of the game of hide and seek b. What you did when your mom called you in to do chores c. Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A bomb drill 15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?

ANSWERS

1. b) On the floor, left of the clutch. Hand super-sweet colored water. controls, popular in Europe, took till the 8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate '60s to catch on.

2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

Who had a steam iron?

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top. 11. c) Cooties.

4. a) Blackjack Gum. 12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

5. b) Special makeup was applied followed by drawing a seam down the 13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, covering back of the leg with eyebrow pencil. your head with your arms in an A-bomb 6. a) 1946 Studebaker. drill.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing

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a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring b. Princess Sacajewea c. Princess Moonshadow 16. What did all really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school? a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you "high" b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window c. Wrote another pupils name on the top, to avoid failure 17. Why did your mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases? a. To keep you out of mischief licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick on tattoos 18. "Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?" a. Meatballs b. Dames c. Ammunition 19. What was the name of the group who made the song "The Gypsy" a hit in the US? a. The Ink Spots b. The Supremes c. The Esquires 20. Who left his heart in San Francisco? a. Tony Bennett b. Zavier Cugat c. George Gershwin 20. Who left his heart in San Francisco? a. Tony Bennett b. Zavier Cugat c. George Gershwin

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring.

SCORING She was another puppet.

17 — 20 correct: You are not only older 16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind to get "high." bloat. Now if you could only find your 17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they glasses. could be traded for household items at the 12 — 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but Green Stamp store. your mind is definitely muddy.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free. 0 – 11 correct: You are a sad excuse of a 19. a) The all male, all black group, The geezer. Redeem yourself by declaring to Inkspots. everyone that the world is going to hell in 20. a) Tony Bennett and he sounds just as a hand-basket. good today.

Celebrate Recovery!

Every Tuesday Celebrate Recovery meets at 6 pm at Kingston First Baptist Church.

It's a faith based program for anyone with a hurt, habit, or a hang-up.

Everyone is welcome!

26 The Roane Reader

Phone: 865-882-9340

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The Month of March 1. March is named after Mars, the Roman god of war as it was the month in which the military campaigning season got under way after winter.

2. In Old English one name for the month of March was “Hlyda” meaning “loud” possibly because of the roaring March winds.

3. March is the only month with three consecutive consonants in its name in English.

4. An old proverb says that “March comes in a like a lion and goes out like a lamb”, which means that winter is ending and spring is beginning.

5. In ancient Rome before Julius Caesar’s calendar reform, March was the first month of the year.

6. The expression “mad as a March hare” dates back to 1529. It refers to the wild behavior of male hares during the mating season in March.

7. Fredric March twice won an Oscar for Best Actor. Main Street On The March (1941) and March Of The Penguins (2005) also won Oscars.

8. MARCH is an acronym for the Medically Aware and Responsible Citizens of Hyderabad.

MARCH IS NATIONAL KITE MONTH! Make a Paper Plate Kite

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RECEIVE A YEAR’S WORTH!

The Roane Reader

J.R. Christopher Mar. 21st

Roane and Loudon Counties Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applications for the 2015/2016 Program Year Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families

To complete an application or to get information please call the Head Start Admin Center in Kingston at 865-376-2308 ext 222 Monday -Thursday Phone 865-376-2308 865-882-0808 865-882-8737

The term, “Hippopotamus” has been derived from two Greek words, Hippo meaning horse and potamos meaning river. That is why it is also known as, “River Horse”. After the elephant and rhinoceros, the hippopotamus is the third largest type of land mammal and the heaviest extant artiodactyl. Hippos are distantly related to whales and probably share a common ancestor, the now extinct line of “hoofed predators” that contained the famous “wolf-sheep” Andrewsarchus.

The female Hippos give birth to a baby calf one at a time within a time span of two to three years. Before and after giving birth, the expecting mother isolates herself for a time period of 10 to 44 days along with the baby. The mother then nurses the baby for 12 months, stays by it in the early years and protects it. Just like other mammals the female Hippos feed their babies with their own milk, but one thing that differentiates the Hippo’s milk with others’ is its color.

Yes, it is true the color of Hippo’s milk is bright pink. The reason why it is pink is that hippo secretes two kind of unique acids called “Hipposudoric acid” and “Norhipposudoric acid“. The two acids got their names from the word Hippopotamus.

The Hipposudoric acid is reddish in color and often known as, “Blood Sweat” (hipposudoric, referring to hippo sweat), although its neither blood nor sweat. While the other, Norhipposudoric acid is bright orange. Both these acids are strong enough to minimize the growth of the bacteria on the Hippo’s skin. These acids also act as a sunscreen for the Hippo’s skin as they absorb the UV rays that destroy the skin cells. In a milking Hippo the two acids get combined with the white milk and thus pink colored milk is ejected.

Hey Kids!

Mid-East Community Action Agency

Site Admin Office Rolling Acres Fairmont

March 2017

Hippo's Milk is Pink!

Materials: Paper Plate, Tissue Paper, Streamers, Crayons/markers, String, Craft Sticks 1. Draw a design (or make one with tissue paper) on the paper plate.

2. Next, glue foot long streamers on the paper plate.

3. Punch a hole at the nose of the plate and tie a piece of yarn through it.

9. The birthstone for March is aquamarine and the flowers are the 4. Wrap additional yarn around a craft stick and then tape the daffodil or violet.

10. More 20th century UK Prime Ministers had birthdays in March yarn on the plate to the stick. The kite will really fly on a windy than any other month day.

Subscribe to Send $16 to 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748

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P.O. Box 790 Mid-East Kingston, TN 37763 Community Action Agency www.mecaa.net

Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.

Do you have a poem or short story you’ve written?

Send it to us at 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748 and we’ll print it!

Public Stargazing Tamke-Allan Observatory, Harriman

Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long.

Public is welcome!

The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road - turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left.

Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long, inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.

Gates open at 7 pm

For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or fieldsde@roanestate.edu for details.

March 2017

Phone: 865-882-9340

The History of Hair Color

Given how accomplished the Egyptians were as a civilization, it shouldn’t really surprise us that they, too, dabbled in hair dye. They would use henna to camouflage gray hair (yes, the preoccupation with grays dates way back).

Years later, the Greeks and Romans used plant extracts to color their strands. They also created a permanent black hair dye. However, when they discovered it was too toxic to use, they switched to a formula made with leeches that had been fermented in a lead vessel for two months. It took a few hundred years to expand the color choices beyond black.

During the Roman Empire, prostitutes were required to have yellow hair to indicate their profession. Most wore wigs, but some used a mixture made from the ashes of burned plants or nuts to achieve the hue. Meanwhile, other ancient civilizations like the Gaul and the Saxons were dyeing their hair a variety of vibrant colors to show their rank and as a means of intimidating opponents on the battlefield.

Red hair first appeared as the result of a genetic mutation in the Dark Ages, with the first documented case of natural-born redhead occurring in Scotland. For many years, people with natural red hair were subjected to suspicions of witchcraft. It wasn’t until Queen Elizabeth I took her reign that red hair become more acceptable.

Not much changed until the 1800s, when English chemist William Henry Perkin made an accidental discovery that changed hair dye forever. In an attempt to generate a cure for malaria, Perkins created the first synthesized dye in 1863. The color was mauve and appropriately named Mauveine. Soon after, his chemistry professor August Hoffman derived a color-changing molecule from Mauveine (called para-phenylenediamine, or PPD), and it remains the foundation for most permanent hair dyes today.

In 1907, Eugene Schueller created the first chemical dye for commercial purposes. He called it Aureole. It would later be called L’Oréal, as would the company he founded.

Ever wonder where the term platinum blond comes from? You can thank Howard Hughes (and Jean Harlow) for that. In 1931, in what might just be the most successful public relations strategy ever, Hughes released a film called Platinum Blonde, titled to promote and capitalize on the hair color of the young star, Jean Harlow. Many fans quickly followed suit, dyeing their hair to match Harlow’s. Hughes’s team even organized a chain of Platinum Blonde clubs across the country, with a $10,000 prize that would go to any hairdresser who could copy Harlow’s shade.

Ironically, Harlow never admitted to dyeing her hair.

Prior to 1950, going blond involved bleach and a lot of damage.

Lawrence Gelb advanced formulas in the 1930s, but the truly revolutionary discovery came in 1950. That year, Clairol, the company Gelb founded with wife Jane Clair, introduced the first one-step hair dye product that actually lightened hair without bleaching it.

Miss Clairol Hair Color Bath, which allowed women to color their hair at home, discreetly (this was important, as women preferred not to publicize the fact that they colored their at this time) became a huge hit with the masses.

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Lessons we can learn from a snowman:

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27 The Roane Reader

Beware the ides of March (March 15th)

Wearing white is always in style In modern times, the Ides of March is best known as the date on which Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. Caesar was stabbed - even after Labor Day. to death at a meeting of the senate. As many as 60 conspirators, led Getting outside in the winter is

by Brutus and Cassius, were involved. According to Plutarch, a seer good for your health. had warned that harm would come to Caesar no later than the Ides It's fun just to hang out in your of March. On his way to the Theatre of Pompey, where he would be front yard. assassinated, Caesar passed the seer and joked, "The Ides of March We're all made up of mostly are come", implying that the prophecy had not been fulfilled, to which the seer replied "Aye, Caesar; but not gone." This meeting is water. famously dramatized in William Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, Accessories don't have to be when Caesar is warned by the soothsayer to "beware the Ides of expensive.

March." The Roman biographer Suetonius identifies the "seer" as a Don't get too much sun! haruspex named Spurinna.

If you're a little bottom heavy - Caesar's death was a closing event in the crisis of the Roman Repubhey, that's okay! lic, and triggered the civil war that would result in the rise to sole In a confrontation, a hand-held power of his adopted heir Octavian (later known as Augustus).Writhairdryer can be an effective ing under Augustus, Ovid portrays the murder as a sacrilege, since Caesar was also the Pontifex Maximus of Rome and a priest of weapon.

Vesta. On the fourth anniversary of Caesar's death in 40 BC, after You know you've made it when achieving a victory at the siege of Perugia, Octavian executed 300 they write a song about you. senators and knights who had fought against him under Lucius If you look down and can't see Antonius, the brother of Mark Antony. The executions were one your feet - you're probably not of a series of actions taken by Octavian to avenge Caesar's death. very active.

Suetonius and the historian Cassius Dio characterized the slaughter Sometimes sweating too much as a religious sacrifice, noting that it occurred on the Ides of March at the new altar to the deified Julius. can have disastrous results.

Happy Birthday

Polly Eaton

March 7th

Outreach Program Walnut Hill Church's mission is reaching the lost and helping people in need.

The Outreach program needs items donated to make them available to needy people in our area.

Clothing - all sizes Shoes Socks Shampoo Soap

Tooth brushes Toothpaste Underclothes ĂďLJ ŝĂƉĞƌƐ and other items

Stamps & Cards School Supplies Back Packs Clothes Hangers ĂƐŚ ĚŽŶĂƟŽŶ

ƌŽƉ Kī dŝŵĞƐͲ tĞĚŶĞƐĚĂLJ͗ ϭϮ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ Θ dŚƵƌƐĚĂLJƐ Ͳ ϵ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ The people who get the items will be screened and records will be kept to assure the program is used in the right way.

BILLY GRIGSBY, OWNER 354-9957 354-9290

DAMAGE FREE HAULING

1348 GATEWAY - ROCKWOOD

Please pray for the Outreach program. /Ĩ LJŽƵΖĚ ůŝŬĞ ƚŽ ǀŽůƵŶƚĞĞƌ͕ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ ƚŚĞ KƵƚƌĞĂĐŚ ůĞĂĚĞƌ͘ tĞ ŶĞĞĚ ƚŽ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ĂƫƚƵĚĞ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵ ĨŽƌ ŝƚ ƚŽ ǁŽƌŬ͘ Let God lead us in everything we do.

visit www.csstrong.org for more info

dŽ ĚŽŶĂƚĞ Žƌ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͕ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ &ĂLJĞ ĂŶŝĞůƐ͕ Outreach Leader at 865-590-7192 or 865-308-9283.

28 The Roane Reader

Phone: 865-882-9340

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“Little River” - Chapter 15 by: Rachel Holbrook

Titus pulled the paintbrush back and forth across the surface of his front door with long, broad strokes. He shifted his weight to alleviate the pain in his right knee, which was pressed against the porch. He knelt to better paint the bottom of the door, but he couldn’t help but feel penitent in this posture. He had a lot to be sorry for.

He was sorry for staying in this godforsaken town full of small-minded bigots. He was sorry for moving back when his brother-in-law died. He was sorry for taking on his sister and her four sons as his own personal cross to bear when he had two other siblings and parents who should have helped. He was sorry for letting year after year pass, letting his life waste away in Little River, when he could have built a life of his own somewhere else. He was sorry he had given up on his own happiness.

“Titus?”

He didn’t look up when he heard his brother’s voice, but continued to spread the paint back and forth. The white paint didn’t quite cover the jarring red of the hateful slur.

“Are you okay?” Jonathan sat on the top step of his brother’s porch.

“Never better.”

“Any ideas who did this?”

At this, Titus laid the paintbrush across the top of the paint can, and turned to look at his brother. “If I had to guess, I would say it was probably a member of your congregation, Brother.”

Jonathan looked stricken. “Why would you say that?”

“Because in the last twenty years of living in Little River, the only people who have seemed to give a damn about who I’m attracted to have gone to your church.” Titus spat out the bitter-tasting words and turned back to his painting.

“When has this ever happened before?” Jonathan sounded defensive. Unbelieving.

Or, at least, unwilling to believe.

“This?” Titus turned and gestured around him. Caleb was reaching from his perch on a ladder into the Bradford Pear tree in the front yard, pulling toilet paper from its branches. The broken beer bottles had been swept into a pile at the bottom of the porch steps. “You’re right, Brother. This particular combination hasn’t happened before. It’s only been anonymous notes left in my mailbox, quoting Deuteronomy, with a Gospel tract included. Messages on my answering machine telling me to repent. Dirty looks in the grocery store. People muttering “queer” under their breath.”

“I don’t believe that.” Jonathan protested.

Titus just laughed. “Of course you don’t.”

“What does that mean?” Jonathan was standing now, looking as if he was trying to decide whether or not to bolt down the sidewalk and avoid the rest of the conversation.

“Nothing.” Titus shook his head. “Doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s not fair to assume whoever did this is one of my congregants.”

Again, Titus just laughed. Not even replying.

“Even if it was,” Jonathan continued, “it’s not fair to lump the whole church together.”

“Well, I certainly want to be fair to your church.” Titus flung the paintbrush into the can, causing white paint to spatter on the porch. His eyes flashed as he looked at his brother, “Because your church has certainly been fair to me.”

“What do you want me to do?” Jonathan asked.

“Nothing.” Titus shook his head and turned his back on his brother. “Just keep doing nothing as usual.”

That night, Titus sat across from Caleb and Travis at the dining room table. They had just finished eating together, and Titus was trying to gather his thoughts before talking to his nephews about his plans. Caleb was watching him, waiting for him to say something, but Travis was just staring at his empty plate.

“Boys,” Titus began, “we need to talk.”

“Okay.” Caleb nodded. Travis kept his head down.

Titus cleared his throat before continuing, “I have been doing a lot of thinking. And

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March 2017

talking with your grandparents…and your mom.”

“You talked to Mama?” Travis asked, finally looking up.

Titus nodded.

“How is she?” Travis looked hopeful.

“The same,” Titus said softly.

Travis shook his head, and looked back down to his plate.

Titus began again, “I think you boys realize your mom isn’t going to be able to take care of you for a while. Maybe not ever.”

“We don’t need taken care of.” Travis muttered.

Titus ignored his comment, and said, “We’ve decided to go to court and ask that I be made your legal guardian.”

When he didn’t say anything else, Caleb asked, “That’s what you wanted to tell us?

It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. You’re already being our guardian.”

“Well,” Titus rested his hands on the table, steepling his fingers, “it doesn’t make much difference practically speaking, but, legally, it’s a big deal.”

“Okay.” Caleb looked expectant.

“I also want to know what you two would think about the three of us moving to Knoxville.”

“Leave Little River?” Travis jerked his head up. “No way!”

Caleb was silent.

“I know it would be a big adjustment, but I think things could actually be a lot better for all three of us with a change of scenery. You know? A different environment.”

Titus looked anxious. He had been planning this conversation for over a week, and it was already going off track.

“Is this about Jamie?” Travis demanded. “You’re making us leave the only home we’ve ever known so you can be with your gay boyfriend?”

“Travis!” Caleb shot his brother an angry look. “Shut up!”

Titus couldn’t conceal the hurt from his face, but he kept his voice calm, “No. It has nothing to do with Jamie. That door is already closed.”

For a brief moment, Travis looked ashamed of his outburst, but then he squared his shoulders and said, “Well, I’m not going. Haley is here, and so are all my friends.

And I have a job.”

“Knoxville’s not that far away,” Titus said in a measured tone. “You can still drive down to see your friends. You can have your girlfriend over. There’s lots more things to do with her in Knoxville, anyway.”

“I have a job.”

“You can get a job in Knoxville,” Titus countered.

Travis looked up at his uncle with wet eyes. “But I like it here.”

Titus sighed. He wasn’t going to force the boys to move if they really didn’t want to go.

“I think it’s a good idea.” Caleb said in a soft voice.

Titus looked at him in surprise. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Caleb nodded. “It’s not that far away, and it really does have a lot more to offer.” He paused, and then said in an even softer voice, “And it would be nice to be somewhere that no one knows me and all my business. I won’t be the kid with the dead dad and the crazy mom.”

Travis glared at his brother, and Caleb looked away.

Titus was thankful for Caleb’s understanding. He smiled at the boy, and said, “I’m asking you guys–not telling you. I want to move and I think it would be good for all of us. A new start in a new place.” Looking to Travis, Titus added, “Just think about it, Trav. Okay?”

“Little River” is an ongoing serial which debuted on 6-30-15. New installments will be published every month in The Roane Reader. If you enjoy this serial you can purchase “Little River” Vol. 1 from Amazon in paperback or as a Kindle book for easy reading on your e-reader devices.

March 2017

Phone: 865-882-9340

Little Known Feline Ailments COLLAPSIBLE LEGS Symptoms: The affected cat places one side of its head on the ground as though cheek-marking the concrete, carpet etc. After several such maneuvers, the legs on that side of the cat suddenly collapse, leaving the cat waggling its feet in the air Treatment: This involves placing the palm of one hand on the exposed belly and rubbing gently. There are side-effects though some feline sufferers attack the rubbing hand while others recover spontaneously, often after prolonged treatment. This condition is probably incurable and any cat which requires prolonged treatment after an attack will most likely suffer repeated attacks of collapsible legs throughout its lifetime SNUDGING Symptoms: The affected cat repeatedly head-butts any available part of a readily available human and turns its head slightly so that the lips and cheek are rubbed against legs, arms, clothing etc. This condition gets its name from a contraction of the phrase "soggy nudging." Snudging may well be a form of excessive scent-marking.

A bad attack can result in soggy clothing Treatment: Give the sufferer lavish affection. Most attacks subside between 10 minutes to 1 hour after onset of symptoms. You may need to dry off snudged clothing or skin. Attacks recur frequently, usually when the most readily available human is engrossed in a TV program, book or telephone call.

BED-HOGGING Symptoms: The cat spreads to take up all available free bed space at night. It then expands a bit more until any human occupants occupy the smallest possible area of bed. It may do this on top or underneath the covers or on the pillow. It is highly contagious - any other cats on the bed will also develop symptoms of bed-hogging.

Treatment: The most obvious solution is to evict the cat from the bed. If this is morally unfeasible, train yourself not to give way as the cat expands. Buying a bigger bed is probably pointless as most affected cats can easily expand to fill standard, queen-sized and king-sized beds. Otherwise, simply train yourself to sleep while hanging precariously off the side of the bed. Attacks of bed-hogging have been known to last up to 23 hours (in one case a 3-day attack was noted by a cat-owner who was confined to bed with flu; the cat thoughtfully kept her company during this time).

Those Kids and Their Stupid Colored Markers!

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Pet’s Page Outside Pets

1. In or Out? Does your pet spend most of the time in the backyard? You might want to keep her indoors during the freezing months, especially if you live in bitterly cold areas.

2. Bare Naked Truth If you must keep your pet outdoors, consider this: Would a fur coat alone (even if it is faux mink) keep you warm against the elements? No? Well, your pet’s fur coat isn’t enough protection for your pet during winter, either.

Be a pal and provide your dog with a warm, dry, and draft free shelter outside.

3. No More Frozen Dinners!

Because it takes more energy to stay warm when it's cold, outdoor animals eat more during the winter. Likewise, fresh, running water is vital for maintaining your pet's health. Keep an eye on the water bowls and make sure they haven’t turned into little skating rinks. While ice pops might be a fun treat, your pet really doesn’t want to have to lick a frozen lump of ice to get his water.

4. Latest Fad Diet?

Indoor animals, meanwhile, have different dietary needs. They conserve energy by sleeping more in the winter. Dogs and cats also exercise much less when they do go outside, so you may need to adjust the amount of food accordingly. After all, no one wants an overweight pet.

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29 The Roane Reader

Does Your Cat Own You?

1.Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?

2.Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?

3.Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?

4.Do you scoop out the litter box after each use? Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your hand?

5.Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?

6.Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?

7.Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?

8.Do you kiss your cat on the lips?

9.Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your spoon?

10.Does your cat sit at the table (or ON the table) when you eat?

11.Does your cat sleep on your head? Do you like it?

12.Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?

13.Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?

14.Did you buy a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?

15.Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?

16.Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?

17.Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse?

18.Do the Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap? Does your cat sign the card?

19.Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?

20.Does your cat eat out of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on television?

Every animal has his or her story, his or her thoughts, daydreams, and interests. All feel joy and love, pain and fear, as we now know beyond any shadow of a doubt. All deserve that the human animal afford them the respect of being cared for with great consideration for those interests or left in peace.

ROANE COUNTY PAWS

Our mission is to improve the welfare of all animals Educating the public on spay, neuter, vaccinating, caring for and properly vetting their pet is a great priority.

Roane County Paws is a 501c3 nonprofit organization.

We work very hard to fundraise and depend solely on fundraising and donations.

Every dollar goes directly to the care of the animals.

Please consider making a donation to Roane County Paws Checks can be mailed to P.O. Box 1362, Harriman, TN 37748 or give online at www.roanecountypaws.org

30 The Roane Reader

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March 2017

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March 2017

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Address 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763 413 Devonia St, Harriman, Tn 37748 1226 S Roane St, Harriman, Tn 37748 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763

B & M Wrecker Service

1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854

Big Emory Church Benchmark Church Carriage Hill Insurance CB Man

1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 961 E. Tri-County Blvd. Oliver Springs, Tn 37840 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8, Rockwood, Tn 37854 www.truckers-more-cb-radio-range.com 215 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 - First Baptist 229 Carter Ave. Harriman, Tn 37748 - West Care 101 Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 2104 S. Congress Parkway 230 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748

Celebrate Recovery Christmas Lumber Co. Clayton Homes (Athens) Cochran's Tax and Bookkeeping Coldwell Banker Cheryl Laxton Coldwell Banker Glenda Johnson Coldwell Banker Sherry Tipton Credit Central Eagle Mart Eddies Body Shop Ellis Surplus & Salvage Fraker Funeral Home Gadget's Hobby Shop Gary's Pest Control Grants Tree Service Grasscutters G & S Construction Guinnbilt Portable Buildings

410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 10815 Kingston Pike Knoxville, Tn 37934 705 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1238 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763 204 Trenton St. Harriman, Tn 37748 P.O. Box 1026 Harriman, Tn 37748 160 Country Club Dr. Rockwood, TN, 37854 2641 Sugar Grove Valley Rd Harriman, TN 37748 Harriman Area

Happy Paws Harriman Home Center Health Markets Insurance Agency Matthew Libby Hugh Russell Motors, LLC Hwy 29-A Motors Inc Integrity Auto Sales Jamestowne Assisted Living Jerrys Used Furniture Jim Rummell Collectibles

707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748

Phone (865) 617-5998 (865) 376-4589 (865) 590-7453 (865) 590-7429 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290 (865) 285-1390 (865) 384-3711 (865) 394-1356 (865) 394-1358 (865) 882-2362 (423) 745-4752 (865) 882-8556 (865) 376-2121 (865) 740-2440 (865) 376-2121 (865) 591-6900 (865) 966-1111 (865) 622-1213 (865) 882-1324 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 387-3572 (865) 717-7727 (865) 882-7528 (865) 882-5794 (865) 399-7247 (865) 250-3656 (865) 389-6913 (865) 882-5309 (865) 804-4400 (865) 310-4677 (865) 224-9640 (865) 882-3931

806 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763

(865) 414-8257

1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 2645 Harriman Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748

(865) 882-1165 (865) 882-6462 (865) 285-9246 (865) 376-3030 (865) 882-3603 (865) 224-0431 (865) 234-7100 (865) 250-2710 (865) 223-3090 (865) 354-2802

J. Neal Jewelry

416 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748

Joes Mowing Junior's Restaurant KARM Stores Kingston Express Lube Kingston Parks & Recreation Kittrell's Kitchen KTB Taxes Logs to Lumber

214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 1496 N. Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 www.kingstonparks.com 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 111 South 3rd St. Kingston, Tn 37763 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771

L & J Home Repair

148 Hensley Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763

Mary Kay - Sherry Tipton

(865) 717-8288 (865) 376-1356 (865) 376-3060 (865) 376-0122 (865) 986-4264 (865) 466-2735 (865) 223-3090 (865) 622-1213

Mid-East Community Action Agency P.O. Box 790 Kingston, Tn 37763

(865) 376-2308

Midtown Florist & Gifts

(865) 882-3603

2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748

Mostoller, Stulberg, Whitfield & Allen 136 S. Illinois Ave., Sute 104 Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 Law Firm (Social Security Disability) Patti Savage Designs Princess Theatre Quality Home Health Radio 580-AM Realty Executives Brenda Chapman Renos Sporting Goods

715 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, TN 37763 421 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748

Roane County Paws

119 Arrowood Ln., Harriman, Tn 37748

Roane County Trustee Roane Reader

P.O. Box 296 Kingston, Tn 37763 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748

319 West Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854

(865) 789-2706 (865) 882-4633 (423) 346-3302 (865) 250-6718

3232 Tazewell Pike Knoxville, Tn 37918

(865) 688-3232

430 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748

(865) 882-2450 (865) 250-6966 (865) 607-2865

Robert James & Associates

615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763

Rockwood Village Apartments Rosemary's Florist S.L. Bowman & Sons

601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854

Seal Coat Specialist

Harriman Area

Senator Ken Yager Sextons Automotive Group Shelton Financial Protection Shepherd Plumbing Spotted Spaniel State Farm - Bill McFarland Taxes Done Right

6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 Roane County Area 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 119 North Gateway Avenue 1251 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748

Tellico Propane

1375 Monterey Road Loudon, TN 37774

Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Victorian Square Assisted Living Walnut Hill Outreach Program Your Time Clock & Watch Repair

(865) 482-4466

(865) 882-9340 (865) 376-4925 (800) 530-5700 (865) 354-3945 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-0600 (864) 640-1654 (865) 223-3976 (615) 741-1449 (865) 882-2416 (865) 376-0321 (865) 354-8518 (865) 483-0961 (865) 354-9453 (865) 465-5575 (865) 408-9050 (888) 294-9234

420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748

(865) 882-1900

1220 Bowman Bend Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, Tn 37854

(865) 376-4822 (865) 354-1133 (865) 590-7192 (865) 466-5805

31 The Roane Reader

Find a Roane Reader www.roanereader.com/findone

Business Directory www.roanereader.com/businesslistings Name A & A Electric A & C Cleaners AllCare Anytime Fitness Attic Fanatics Marketplace

email: info@roanereader.com

Name Anytime Fitness Big E Quick Mart Big Johns Bob's Hamburgers Cochran's Tax Service Coin Laundry (Harriman) Dollar General Market Eagles Food Mart Eddies Body Shop Food City (Harriman) Harriman Care & Rehab Center Harriman Jewelry Exchange Harriman Public Library Hugh Russell Motors Midtown Florist & Gifts Mossy Grove Food Mart Roane Medical Center Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets (Scott's MKT) Rocky Top Markets Save-A-Lot (Harriman) Schilo Foodmart Sexton Automotive Group Traughber Insurance Oasis Food Mart Harriman Home Center Renos Sporting Goods Roane Street Grill Cost Saver Exxon Food City (Kingston) Jamestowne Assisted Living Roane County Court House Rock Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Zoning Office Spotted Spaniel Anderson County Tobacco and Market Food City (Oliver Springs) Jones Grocery Marathon Fuel Center Coin Laundry (Oliver Springs) B & M wrecker Big E's Bridge At Rockwood Carriage Hill Insurance Hardees (Rockwood) Junior's Restaurant Rockwood Care & Rehab Center Rockwood Village Apartments Rocky Top Markets S.L. Bowman & Sons Inc Victorian Square Assisted Living Wal-mart Supercenter Darnell Food Market Hardees (Wartburg) Save-A-Lot (Wartburg) Sexton Ford

Address 1226 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 2843 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 828 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 3209 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 230 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 1301 S. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 201 Ruritan Rd Harriman,TN 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman,TN 37748 514 Emory Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1130 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 240 Hannah Road Harriman,TN 37748 509 Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 601 Walden Ave Harriman,TN 37748 1007 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 2744 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 1705 Morgan County Highway Harriman,TN 37748 8045 Roane Medical Center Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1811 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 2722 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 102 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1225 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1901 Harriman Highway Harriman,TN 37748 269 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 420 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 635 Old Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 707 Old Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 430 N. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 812 N Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 615 North Kentucky Street Kingston,TN 37763 1007 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 1000 Ladd Landing Boulevard Kingston,TN 37763 851 Lawnville Road Kingston,TN 37763 200 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 935 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 200 West Race St Kingston,TN 37763 104 Bluff Road Kingston,TN 37763 308 North 3rd Street Kingston,TN 37763 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge,TN 37830 S1 705 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 508 East Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37840 4306 Knoxville Highway Oliver Springs,TN 37840 704 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 903 E Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37748 1348 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 320 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8 Rockwood,Tn 37854 504 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 214 West Rockwood Street Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 601 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 101 South Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 521 North Front Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 241 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1102 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1014 Main Street Wartburg,TN 37887 1122 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 3910 Morgan County Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 1226 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887

Phone Number (865) 590-7429 (865) 882-7888 (865) 882-2822 (865) 882-5300 (865) 882-8556 (865) 882-0880 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 882-0117 (865) 882-1613 (865) 882-4000 (865) 882-3195 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-3603 (423) 346-5858 (865) 319-1000 (865) 882-7779 (865) 882-0075 (865) 882-0706 (865) 882-5446 (865) 882-7726 (800) 688-0833 (865) 882-1900 (865) 882-0602 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-2450 (865) 285-6025 (865) 717-0038 (865) 376-4059 (865) 376-7534 (865) 376-3030 (865) 376-2487 (865) 376-1771 (865) 717-2832 (865) 717-4230 (865) 483-0961 (865) 435-2662 (865) 435-5353 (423) 324-4932 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-3366 (865) 285-1390 (865) 354-4004 (865) 354-2802 (865) 354-3303 (865) 354-3945 (865) 354-2809 (865) 354-0600 (865) 354-1133 (865) 354-0863 (423) 346-3344 (423) 346-7666 (423) 346-6767 (866) 211-2642

Description Inside on wall at front window Inside on the "order here" counter Inside under counter Outside under the tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on top of Coin Machine Outside in our tabloid rack Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the waiting room Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on counter Inside in magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the cashier counter Inside in the magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside to the left under the magazine racks Inside under the counter in the magazine rack Out front beside the Roane County News rack Inside in magazine rack Inside the show room Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside under the coat rack Inside the lobby Inside under the magazine racks Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the front desk Inside the door Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the front desk Inside on the counter Inside on top of the lottery booth Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the tabloid racks Inside under counter Inside on tables Inside on the counter Inside Inside on the front desk Inside on desk Inside on top of the dividers Inside the door to the left in the magazine rack Inside on the front desk Inside on the front desk Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the counter Inside on the front desk Inside our tabloid rack across from self checkout Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the divider wall Inside under tabloid racks Inside the show room

*8,11%,/7 3257$%/( %8,/',1*6 .

Serving East Tn since 1975

.

.

Barns Garages Additions Housing

Compare and Save!

BARN TYPE

GABLE TYPE

8x8................$895............................$995 8x10................$995..........................$1095 8x12..............$1095..........................$1245 10x10..............$1195..........................$1245 10x12..............$1295..........................$1495

Custom Build Any Size, Any Style, Your Place Or Ours

10x16..............$1695..........................$1895 10x20..............$2195..........................$2395

.

865-882-5309 865-804-4400

Specialty Vehicles 2004

Pontiac GTO Only 49,000 miles!

QUALITY CARS FAIR PRICES

TRUCKS 2003 Silverado 3500 LT 4x4, Duramax, 121k miles

2007

2007

Toyota FJ Cruiser

Ram 1500 TRX4

4WD, Loaded

4x4, 119k miles

2004

2004

Avalanche LTZ Z-71

Only 129,000 miles!

2011

Financing Available!

F-250 XLT 4x4

Extended Warranties Available!

Diesel, 111k miles

2008

Ford Flex Limited

Silverado LT

AWD Ecoboost

Leather, loaded!

2008

Pontiac G6

2012 Grand Caravan SXT

Only $11,999!

2005

2007 Odyssey EX-L

RES NAV, Only 104k miles!

Ranger Supercab XLT

Only 51,000 miles!

Hardtop Convertible

4x4, 134k miles

2014

Dodge Dart SXT Rallye

Touch Screen Backup Camera

2004 2007 Subaru Legacy SE

Leather, Low Miles!

Ram 1500 Laramie

2009 Subaru Legacy

4x4, 110k miles

Power Sunroof, Only 85k miles!

2008

2002

Silverado 2500

Mini Coper Clubman S

Extra door, loaded!

2001 Jeep Wrangler 4x4 Only 108,000 miles!

2003

Focus SVT Only 129,000 miles!

2008 Buick Lucerne Low miles, Loaded!

Only 95,000 miles!

2013 Chevy Impala

2005

Loaded, Only 67k miles!

Tax Time Specials!

F-250 SuperCrew

07 Jeep Patriot 4X4 - $5999 | 04 Toyota Camry XLE - $5999 05 Honda Odyssey - $6999 | 07 Kia Optima LX - $5999 07 Chevy Uplander - $4999 | 04 Pontiac Grand Am GT - $3999 99 Dodge Ram 1500 4x4 - $6999 | 07 Honda Civic LX - $6999 03 Mazda Tribute LX - $4999 | 05 Chevy Aveo - $3999 05 Nissan Altima - $4999

Powerstroke Diesel

2006

Nissan Titan LE

20 CARS $5,999 & UNDE R E R OV

1 Owner, 125k miles

(865) 285-9246

www.integrityautosalestn.com 2645 HARRIMAN HWY All Prices Plus Tax, License, Fees

HARRIMAN, TN