March 2012

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501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748

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THE ORIGINAL

Roane Reader

FREE

Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!

VOLUME 19

MARCH 2012

NUMBER 5

Established 1993

Rockwood Memories

Ray Collet

Precious Memories

By Kay Christopher

Penny Pinchers

Save money

Bible Beat

Quizzes, puzzles, facts

14 2 10 8&9

Seen and Heard

2

Entertainment

6

Writer's Page

17

Aunt Hattie

10

By our readers

Trivia, facts, movie mistakes Our readers submitted writings Hurry-up recipes

According to the Almanac When to do what

Gabbin' with Glander

By Jerry Lemons

4 13

Obituaries

7

Fun & Facts for Kids only

15

Monthly

And Adults

Can You Find Me多

5

You & The Stars

18

By The Phantom

Pick one up before they are all gone!

7,000

Distributed

What's in your future?

2 The Roane Reader SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY * * * * * *

Precious Memories

By O.I. Seenya Upon seeing her little newborn brother for the first time, she exclaimed, “Mama, his face is square!”

Two birds flying over Kingston, “floating” in mid air for several minutes, not moving their wings during a strong wind storm. (No, they were not kites).

Family and friends enjoying a baby shower for a young mother who, unknowingly to everyone there, was in labor during the entire shower. She had to leave the party to go to the hospital where she gave birth three hours later.

Flowers, bushes and trees blooming everywhere in early February, with the likely chance of being killed by frost before springtime.* A lady coming out of a bathroom stall, commenting to the lady walking toward her on how much their jackets were alike, until she realized she was looking at a mirror.

A five year old girl walking out of a bathroom with a 2 foot piece of toilet paper coming out of her plumbers crack. At least shes learning to wipe.

AN OLD IRISH BLESSING.

May God be with you and bless you.

May you see your children's children.

May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings.

May you know nothing but happiness.

From this day forward.

May the Good Lord protect you, And bless you today.

And may troubles ignore you, Each step of the way.

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.

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By: Kay Christopher

Carrie & Litton Barnes

Emory Gap was so much more fun when Carrie and Litton Barnes and all their kids would come visit Grandma and Grandpa, who lived beside us there.

Like us, there were a house full of them. There was Carrie, Litton, David, Sister, Jimmy, Terry, and Debbie. Carrie was Daddy’s sister.

Carrie and Litton are gone now, but David and his wife, Della live in Eagle Furnace.

Sister married Doug Sands and lives in Knoxville, Jimmy’s in Crossville (my son was married to his daughter, and that’s a whole different story), Terry lives in Knoxville, and Debbie is in Nashville.

Seems like when they didn’t visit us on Sunday’s, we would visit them at their house on Clinch Street in Harriman.

Terry and Jimmy had such imaginations, and all us kids loved to play Captain Midnight or hide and seek in their bedroom, or Creature of the Black Lagoon in an old boat that was parked on blocks in their yard.

Terry had a go-cart and Litton would load it up and bring it with them sometimes.

He’d take it to our other cousin’s yard (because it was bigger) and we’d take turns going round and round in it.

Jimmy and Terry later formed the band “The Grand Prees” and were very successful in the area. They still get together almost yearly and invite all their old friends to a homecoming “dance” at the American Legion Hall in Harriman.

But the best days of our childhood took place in Emory Gap. Whether it was playing Kick the Can after dark, or playing in the dirt under our shade tree during the daythose were some of the things our grandkids will never experience, and it’s really sad that the only memories some of them will have is of laying on the couch or bed playing video games.

March Winds

We Match Competitor PRICES!!

Marlboro

Mar. 2012

9 9¢

WARNING: Smokeless tobacco is addictive

WARNING: Cigarettes are addictive

What causes "March winds?" A scientific study of wind tells us that wind is caused by changes in temperature in the atmosphere and on the ground.

Warmer air expands and rises in the atmosphere; then cooler air rushes in to replace the warmer air. "March winds" are cyclical winds that come with Spring and warmer temperatures. A famous old saying about March winds is, "If March comes in like a lion, it'll go out like a lamb. If it comes in like a lamb, it'll go out like a lion." Either way, the saying goes, strong winds will come sometimes in March.

GRASSCUTTERS “CUTTING GRASS BY THE YARD” Mowing, Trimming, Edging, Hedge Trimming, Garden Tilling, Landscaping, Mulching, Seeding, Fertilizing, Pressure Washing, Decks, Hardscapes, Odd Jobs

Commercial & Residential FREE ESTIMATES - REFERENCES EXPERIENCED - INSURED

Call Allen today at 250-3656 email: GrasscuttersTN@gmail.com

Mar. 2012

Harriman Home Center Plumbing, Electrical & Hardware

3 The Roane Reader

Four years ago we combined Harriman Home Center (Hardware, Electrical, and Plumbing ) and The Oasis market into one operation. As of March 1, 2012 the two will become a separate operation again. The Oasis will be operated by Charlie Patel and Harriman Home Center will move back to the old space it previous occupied.

Harriman Home Center will continue to meet all your Hardware, Electrical and Plumbing needs. H.H.C. buys from one of the largest hardware wholesalers (House-Hasson) east of the Mississippi. If we don't have what you need we can get it for you within two days. Look for monthly specials on Hardware, Electrical, & Plumbing items each month in The Roane Reader.

You will enter the store through the door to the laundromat. The Walnut Hill Laundromat will continue to operate as it has in the past. We have the best prices on washer and dryers in the area. There is always someone on duty to assist you if you have a problem with the washer and dryers.

We wish to thank all our loyal customers, which have patronized The Oasis for the last 4 years. We will continue to offer the same friendly service as we continue to meet your Hardware, Electrical & Plumbing needs.

We will also be selling Lottery Tickets and will give you a FREE cup of coffee for every $5.00 purchase of tickets.

We will be open 7 days a week!!

Specials For March Key Entry Locks $599 Fluid Master Toilet Fill Valve $599 30/40 Gal Electric Water Heater $23600 Sunday - Saturday 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.

707 Old Roane Street

IN THE HEART OF WALNUT HILL

(865) 882-3931

4 The Roane Reader

COME ON OUT! JOIN THE FUN! EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT AT 7:00 P.M.

AMERICAN LEGION HALL IN HARRIMAN, COUNTRY, WESTERN AND A LITTLE ROCK AND ROLL. It's a family event, no alcohol or smoking.

For more info call 399-4021

Send a customer our way and receive a check for 3% of the service fee

Watch the ducks!

It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time.

Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: "Lads, I'm here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be punished for eternity.

Sean went in first and was amazed to see that the entire landscape was encompassed by ducks, and try as he might, sure enough he stepped on one. He was immediately joined by one of the homeliest colleens he's ever laid eyes on, and she said, "Well love, you stepped on a duck and now we're together for all time."

And of course the exact same thing happened to Michael only his companion was even the worse for wear.

By this time Tim was absolutely terrified. And he gingerly managed to make it most of the way across the court without stepping on a single duck. Suddenly, his arm was taken by a young lass.

Tim looked over and beheld the most beautiful, graceful, blueeyed woman he's ever seen in all his life. He gasped, "I don't understand it!"

The young beauty answered, "Well I'm sure I don't either, I was walking along minding my own business, when all of a sudden I stepped on a duck."

Preventive, Routine & Factory Scheduled Maintenance Engine Diagnostics Tune Up’s

Factory scheduled maintenance for all European, American, and Asian vehicles at a guaranteed savings versus going to the dealership.

according to the almanac

Mar. 2012

Weather Forecast

Temperature 61° (8° above avg. north, 2° above south); Precipitation 2" (4" below avg.); Mar 1-7: Sunny, turning warm; Mar 8-12: T-storms, then sunny, cool; Mar 13-17: Rain, then sunny, nice; Mar 18-31: T-storms, then sunny, warm.

Best days to...

Mar. Begin diet to lose weight-------------------------11,20 Breed animals--------------------------------------11,12 Castrate animals-----------------------------------18,19 Cut hair to discourage growth---------------------9,10 Cut hair to encourage growth------------------6,25,26 Begin logging -------------------------------------15,16 Have dental care--------------------------------------7,8 Plant above ground crops--------------------3,4,30,31 Plant below ground crops------------------------11,12 Prune to discourage growth----------------------13,14 Prune to encourage growth------------------5,6,23,24 Quit smoking---------------------------------------11,20 Slaughter livestock--------------------------------11,12 Wean animals or children-------------------------11,20

Memory Lane

Antiquities 865-230-9944 Owners

Ronnie Gilmore Beverly Clough

We have nearly 12 years in the Euro-Asian auto repair industry

SHOP: 865.882.3007 | FAX: 865.882.2007

Established in 2009, Huxford Automotive is a family owned and operated business

211 NORTH ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN 37748

Antiques

Memorabilia Art & Collectabiles 507 North Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748

Mar. 2012

OK Guys Listen Up!!!

We have something new in this Issue.

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find MeÂż)

OK Guys Listen Up!!! "The Phantom" (an anonymous reader) will be supplying a new picture or saying about a Roane County landmark each month... It is up to you to find the landmark and be the first to respond to The Roane Reader at: www.roanereader.com/submit or email: info@roanereader.com , call 865-882-9340 The winner will get a free 1 year subscription to The Roane Reader. Wow did they just say: A FREE SUBSCRIPTION!!! YES a free subscription, I know! Its a great way to observe the history of those wonderful Roane County Landmarks and receive a years subscription to Roane County’s Best Locally Owned Publication for yourself or a loved one.

We will announce the winner of the competition in the following month’s issue. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. Answers must be very specific!!

Entrees that fail to provide all this information will not qualify!

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find MeÂż) This Months Picture

Winner of "The Phantom" Online Facebook kick off was:

RITA WEBSTER The Answer She Guessed: Part of a decorative block on the old post office (The one on Roane St. where Joe Walker's public defender is now)

Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. 420 Ruritan Rd, Harriman TN 37748 Ph: 865-882-1900 ‡ )D[ Email: traughber@bellsouth.net

Paul Traughber Agent/Owner

Over 25 Years Experience Personal & Commercial Auto â—† Homeowners â—† Boat â—† Motorcycle RV/Motor Home â—† Flood â—† Life â—† Health & Dental â—† Contractor Annuities â—† Workers Compensation â—† Bonds

5 The Roane Reader

Grocery gimmicks to take your money Rip Off #1: Big Packages Watch out for stores trying to trick you into thinking the biggest package means the best value.

Outsmart it by scanning the shelf tag for the cost per unit – you might find that the medium size offers the best value. No shelf tag? Bring a pocket calculator (or use the one on your phone) and divide the cost by the number of ounces or grams.

Bonus Tip: If you have a coupon, do your calculations after you factor in the savings it provides.

Rip Off #2: Salad and Hot-Food Bars There’s nothing wrong with hitting one of those bars for a quick entree or side dish for tonight’s dinner, but be careful what you choose, since everything is priced per pound. If you’re buying an inexpensive item such as macaroni and cheese or baked means for example, you could end up paying far too much.

Purchase only items that are pricey to begin with, such as roast beef and chicken parmesan. Just don’t be fooled into spending $4 on 15 cents worth of Jell-O. Rip Off #3: Packaged Sliced Lunch Meat Cold cuts are convenient, but you pay a premium for pre-slicing and packaging. A 7.5 ounce container of sliced ham can run more than $10 per pound, while a larger smoked ham- which you could also use for dinners – is usually far less at about $3 a pound. Buy uncut ham and slice it yourself for sandwiches.

Serve thicker slices for dinners and use smaller pieces to flavor soups or pastas. Freeze anything you don’t want to use right away. Do the same with a whole turkey breast.

Bonus Tip: If you opt to buy deli meat, compare the per-pound prices of pre-sliced and sliced-to-order meats.

Rip Off #4: Bottled Water Supermarkets devote shelves to bottled water, and often have refrigerated bottles at the register, too.

Even at its cheapest, 1 cent per ounce of bottled water is still more than 300 times as costly as tap water.

If you drink one 16-ounce bottle of water every day for a year at $1.50 per bottle, you’re spending more than $545. Multiply that by every person in your household! Drink your tap water. Install a filter if taste or contaminants are a concern (you can find a faucet-mounted Pur filter online for as little as $35 and it filters about 100 gallons of water).

Rip-Off #5: Sale Prices in Multiples Do you go straight for those three-for-$5 deals in the store? Who doesn’t? But watch out for such sales.

Some prompt you to buy more than you otherwise would. For example, a 10-for-$10 deal on apples might sound great, until you realize you’re paying $1 per apple, perhaps a worse deal than if you just buy the three you want – and the extra fruit might go to waste. Use a calculator to ensure you’re actually getting a bargain.

6 The Roane Reader

Mar. 2012

A letter to the IRS

To: Internal Revenue Service, Department of the Treasury Washington, DC 20001 Dear Sirs: Enclosed is my 2003 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.

Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00.

Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value of $22.00, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund option on Form 1040.

It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values.

Sincerely, Another satisfied taxpayer

Billions more in taxes

The next time you hear a politician use the word “billion” in a casual manner, think about whether this is who you want spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but here’s a way of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

1. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

2. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

3. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

H

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ENTERTAINMENT By: Kay Christopher

Famous People Dead From Overdose

Tennessee Trivia What do you know about the great state you live in?

1) What year was the World's Fair held in Knoxville?

2) What was the name of the Cherokee Village from which the name Tennessee was derived?

3) What 3 United States presidents lived in Tennessee?

4) What special event took place on June 1, 1796?

5) What architect is buried in a vault in the north wall of the state capitol building?

6) What are the four state songs of Tennessee?

7) What Tennessean was the winner of 3 gold medals in Olympic track competition in 1960?

8) What was the name of the "gay nineties" resort in Anderson County that consisted of 150 rooms and 4 stories and attracted the well-to-do of this country and Europe?

9) Under which president's administration was the Tennessee Valley Authority formed in 1933?

10) What is Tennessee chief manufacturing industry?

John Belushi, comedian/actor Steve Clark, Def Leppard musician Robby Crosby, Lead Guitarist for RATT Montgomery Clift, actor Brian Epstein, Beatles manager Chris Farley, comedian/actor W.C. Fields, actor/comedian Judy Garland, musician/actress Margaux Hemingway, model/actress Jimi Hendrix, musician Curt Hennig, professional wrestler Janis Joplin, musician Heath Ledger, Actor Eugene (Big Daddy) Lipscomb, American football player Sonny Liston, world champion boxer (possible) Bela Lugosi, actor Phil Lynott,Thin Lizzy, musician & Lead Singer Marilyn Monroe, actress (death overdose has still not been proven) Jim Morrison, musician (heart attack triggered by heroin overdose) Hugh O'Connor, actor, Heat of the Night, son of Carroll O'Connor Lani O'Grady, actress, Eight Is Enough Christopher Penn, actor, brother of actor Sean Penn (AKA Spikoli) River Phoenix, actor Rob Pilatus, acting singer Milli Vanilli Edgar Allan Poe, author (possible) Elvis Presley, musician Freddie Prinze, actor Chico and the Man, self-inflicted gunshot while under the influence of Quaaludes Bon Scott, singer AC/DC, Aspiration brought on by alcohol intoxication Anna Nicole Smith, model/reality star/playboy centerfold Sid Vicious, musician Micheal Jackson, Musician Whitney Houston???, Musician 1.

2.

3.

1403 Ruritan Road H a r r i m a n , TN

Bank & Credit Union Financing Available

See Larry Ward or Dustin Ivey

(865) 882-6462

ANSWERS:

1982 Tanasi Andrew Jackson, James K. Polk and Andrew Johnson 4. Tennessee was admitted to the Union as a state.

5. William Strickland, builder.

6. The Tennessee Waltz, When It's Iris Time in Tennessee, My Tennessee, and Rocky Top 7. Wilma Rudolph 8. Oliver Springs Hotel 9. Franklin D. Roosevelt 10. Chemicals

Taxation with representation ain't so hot either.

Mar. 2012

obituaries

Jan. 24th Mildred Fickey, 84, Rockwood Jan. 25th Iva Lucille Phillips, 86, Oliver Spgs Jan. 26th Leslie A. Smith, 60, Kingston Jan. 27th "Jimmy" Sisson, 62, Oliver Spgs.

Thomas Hedgecock,78,Kingston Jan. 28th R. O. Wright, 90, Rockwood Don Gann, 68, Harriman Mary Remell Harris, 75, Oliver Spgs Jan. 29th Margaret Brown, 83, Rockwood Nellie Mae Frizzell, 90, Rockwood Jan. 30th Lorraine Harrison, King.

James Coffey, 75, Harriman Feb. 1st Jean Carter, 85, Oliver Spgs William Russell, 98, Rockwood Emma Wright, 88, Rockwood Angela Treadway, 38, Rockwood Feb. 2nd Naomi Webster, 91, Oliver Spgs Charles Works, III, 34, Kingston James Treadway, 45, Rockwood Curtis Caldwell, 91, Harriman Feb. 4th Phyllis Couch, 75, Rockwood Alma Smith, 91, Harriman Feb. 5th Dr. Glenn King, 72, Rockwood Velva Adkisson, 96, Harriman Feb. 8th Samuel Crass, Jr., 86, Oliver Spgs Feb. 9th Lowell Grasham, 85, Rockwood Peggy Hall, 75, Harriman Lonnie “Bud” Carter, 82, Rockwood Feb. 10th Ronald Eddie Green, 63, Rockwood Nancy Raffel, 71, Harriman Feb. 11th Phillip Ashley Turner, 29, Harriman Louise Branson, 85, Kingston Feb. 13th Dandi Miller, 46, Spring City Jay Turner, 46, Harriman Feb. 14th Tommie Beard, 80, Harriman Harris Dunn, 93, Kingston Mary Lee Kelsey, 96, Kingston Feb. 15th Luther Brandon, 87, Harriman Feb. 16th Edward L. Garren, Sr., 81, Ozone Pauline Ellen Russell, 87, Westel Mikenna Lively, infant, Oliver Spg. Feb. 18th James E. Russell, 41, Harriman Don Russell, 66, Oakdale Johnny McNelly, 67, Rockwood Clyde Miles, 68, Rockwood Feb. 19th Eldon Futrell, 76, Harriman John Monroe, 69, Harriman Feb. 20th Evelyn F. Smith, 88, Pine Orchard Donna Justice, 81, Oliver Spgs.

Feb. 21st Chris Woods, 29, Oliver Spgs.

Feb. 22nd Florence Delius, 86, Harriman

31st Installation Sq - (TAC) 4138th Installation Sq - (SAC) Turner AFB Albany, Georgia 1 September 1957 - 7 June 1960 Chapter II PETE SEMANICK Duty at Turner AFB was much different than the overseas assignment.

I had left Spangdahlem as a TSgt. and held the position of Fire Chief. I soon discovered I had very little opportunity for a supervisory position; three Master Sergeants were already assigned and with the top four civilian supervisor positions filled, not much was left for me. I discussed my situation with the ranking MSgt., Husie Owens, and the Fire Chief, William C. Watson. During our meeting it was determined I would work directly under the Assistant Chief of Fire Prevention. Going from Fire Chief at Spangdahlem to Fire Prevention Supervisor at this stage of my military career was quite a let down for me.

I made the best of it and soon turned the Fire Prevention Section into a successful operation. The Fire Prevention Week programs in October were especially rewarding. Advertising, training and poster contests for squadron personnel and school children were soon gladly accepted. One of the gimmicks to attract the attention of school children was my dressing up as “Sparky The Fire Dog”. The kids always loved Sparky coming into their classrooms and talking, as well as his handing out gifts such as rings, pencils and little red plastic fire hats. Both of my daughters still have their Sparky rings and consider them to be treasures from the past.

“Open House” was also an attraction for base personnel and families from base housing. Everyone enjoyed viewing the fire vehicles, fire fighting equipment, fire extinguisher demonstrations, and of course, eating the food.

During my stay at Turner very few emergency responses occurred as these were very safe aircraft despite the large amount of fuel involved.

The safety record was attributed to alert aircrew members and good mechanics. Fuel leaks were common but I don’t recall any large spills.

A major job was to keep the flight line fire extinguishers in working order and to see that sufficient quantities were properly located around the aircraft. Back in those days we relied heavily on the 50-pound wheeled carbon dioxide and wheeled 40-gallon foamite American LaFrance extinguishers. I often wondered how effective this small amount of extinguishing agent would be in case of a big fire.

7 The Roane Reader

Where Are They Buried?

John Wilkes Booth

5-10-1838 - 4-26-1865 Cause of death: After shooting President Lincoln he was on the run for 12 days until federal authorities caught up and surrounded a tobacco barn he was hiding in. Booth refused to give up and was shot in the neck. His final words were supposedly "Tell mother I died for my country."

Gravesite: He is buried at Green Mount Cemetery in Baltimore, Maryland.

Directions to cemetery: From I-83 take Exit 6 and follow North Ave. East for 3/4 mile. Turn right onto Green Mount Ave. and the cemetery is a short distance ahead on the left. Drive under the stone arch to enter the cemetery and turn right. Follow this drive past the long staircase on the left, then bear right. Park and walk up the cement path and after 75 feet , the Booth plot is on the right marked by a tall obelisk. John's name is engraved in the obelisk, but his grave within the plot is unmarked.

The Drunken Irishman

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up and says, "You're making out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughtta punch you in the nose."

"I'm sorry sir, I... " "Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little s.o.b. on your knee."

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Happy St. Patricks Day

427 N. ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN

882-6676

OPEN: MON - FRI 7AM - 3PM SATURDAY 7AM - 12PM Come See Us For Breakfast Every Saturday For Only $5.97 + Tax ST. PATRICK’S DAY

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HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY

Bible questions and answers you may find interesting

Bible Beat

(According to the website Minutes With Messiah ) Does the Bible say anything about extra-terrestrial life?

The Bible says nothing about life other than on earth.

Should the male always be older than the female according to the Bible?

It is neither biblically approved or forbidden to marry an older woman. The Bible does not address the issue at all. Generally the Bible says nothing about the ages of the spouses so we don’t know if any man in the Bible was married to an older woman or not. Even if there is such an example in the Bible it says nothing about approval or disapproval.

What does the Bible say about men who wear earrings?

“And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me.” (Exodus 32:2) This was Aaron asking for gold with which to build the golden calf. It just shows that men wore earrings in the early days of the Jewish nation.

Where do animals go when they die?

We don't know. The Bible doesn't say.

What is meant in the bible regarding not wearing things pertaining to men?

The more accurate translation of Deuteronomy 22:5 would be, “The woman shall not wear man’s clothes, nor a man be dressed in women’s clothes; to do so is an abomination to the Lord your God.” Is there a length of time to mourn and that you should not mourn or grieve to the point of poverty?

The Bible mentions several mourning periods, differing from culture to culture. The Egyptians mourned for Jacob seventy days (Genesis 50:3). The Jews mourn for seven days, based perhaps on Genesis 50:10. Most of the time the number of days of mourning is not mentioned.

Miracle Or Parable?

Identify these to which they refer to the parables of Christ and the ones that relate to the miracles of Christ!!

1. Tares 2. Calms the tempest 3. Feeds five thousand 4. Grain of a mustard seed 5. Blasts the fig tree 6. Precious pearl 7. Prodigal son 8. Restores daughter of Jairus 9. Laborers in the vineyard 10. The virgins 11. A draught of fishes 12. Talents

Answers: (1)parable (2) miracle (3) miracle (4) parable (5) miracle (6) parable (7) parable (8) miracle (9) parable (10)parable(11) miracle (12) parable

Mar. 2012

What does the Bible say about women wearing makeup and jewelry?

Jeremiah 4:30 ESV And you, O desolate one, what do you mean that you dress in scarlet, that you adorn yourself with ornaments of gold, that you enlarge your eyes with paint? In vain you beautify yourself. Your lovers despise you; they seek your life.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

1 John 2:15-16 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

1 Peter 3:1-22 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.

Deuteronomy 22:5 “A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God. 1 Timothy 2:9 Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,

Glenda Johnson Broker/Realtor, ABR, GRI, CTG, ITI

865-591-6900

Office: 865-376-2121 Ext. 102

Glenda6900@bellsouth.net

Jim Henry & Assoc.

410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston Kingston, TN 37763

Bible Quest

1. Peter’s mother-in-law was sick. What was wrong with her?

2. What did she do after Jesus healed her?

3. Jesus healed many people that day and drove out many demons, but He would not let the demons speak. Why? 4. One day a man with leprosy approached Jesus and began to beg of Him. What did the man say?

5. Jesus was filled with compassion and said to the man, _______. Immediately he was cured.

6. What instructions did Jesus give to the man?

7. What did the man do then?

8. In the synagogue, how did Jesus cure the madman?

9. While teaching in a synagogue on a Sabbath, Jesus cured a woman who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years and could not stand straight at all.

10. In Bethsaida, some people brought a blind man to Jesus.

What did Jesus do?

Answers to Bible Quest

Mark 1:30 Mark 1:31 Mark 1:32-34 Matthew 8:2-4, Mark 1:40-45, Luke 5:12-16 Matthew 8:3, Mark 1:41, Luke 5:13.

Matthew 8:4, Mark 1:43-44, Luke 5:14 Mark 1:45, Luke 5:15 Mark 1:23-26 Luke 13:10-17.

Mark 8:22-26

8 The Roane Reader

FOR RENT

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For More Information

Call (865) 882-1298

Bible Beat

Mar. 2012

To play this online go to: http://www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/A3TheDeafHear.html The Deaf Hear, Matthew 11:2-11, Third Sunday in Advent Across 2. I like this better ____ that.

4. like a king 7. get ready 9. actions 13. robs 14. moving air 15. announced 18. look at 19. somebody 21. large groups of people 23. say 24. sacred 28. put down in writing 30. prayer ending 31. earlier than 32. the lowest amount 33. very dry land Down 1. more important 3. latest information

Bible Trivia Jesus’ miracles

Jesus performed many miracles during His ministry, and they served as signs that the Kingdom of God had truly come. What was Jesus' first miracle?

As Jesus and His disciples were crossing the Sea of Galilee in a boat, a terrible storm arose and threatened to drown them.

Jesus rebuked the wind and waves and the storm disappeared.

What was Jesus doing when the storm arose?

Whose daughter did Jesus bring back to life?

Jesus miraculously broke just a few loaves of bread and fishes and fed 5000 men, plus women and children. How many loaves and fishes did he start with?

Which disciple walked on the water with Jesus?

Which disciples were with Jesus at His transfiguration, when "His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light"?

When Jesus healed the man who was blind from birth, He made mud with His spit and put it on the man's eyes. What did He tell the man to do then?

What man did Jesus raise from the dead, after he had been dead four days?

What was Bartimaeus' affliction that Jesus healed?

ANSWERS:

5. okay 6. people with severe skin disease 8. not rich 10. region ruled by a king or queen 11. answer

7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. 8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Psalm 121: 7-8

9 The Roane Reader

12. lifted 15. castles 16. one who delivers a message 17. long hollow woody grass 20. wrongdoing

21.

22.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

arrive opposite of men crippled cannot hear listen have on explain

Happy Birthday

Alva Moore March 15th

Turning water into wine Sleeping Jairus' 5 loaves and 2 fishes Peter Peter, James and John Wash in the pool of Siloam.

Lazarus Blindness

REVIVAL Community Baptist Church Rockwood, TN NIGHTLY MAR. 11-14 -- 7 P.M. Nightly EVANGELIST: Danny Jenkins PASTOR: Wayne Burnette EVERYONE WELCOME

NEED TO INCREASE YOUR SALES?

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Distributed into 4 counties and the World Wide Web @ www.roanereader.com Write to us: The Roane Reader

501 Evergreen St. Harriman, TN 37748 Phone: 865-882-9340 email: info@roanereader.com

The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership.

Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, Tn 37748. We welcome letters to the editor.

The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.

Subscriptions are available at $16 per year.

Co-owners/Publishers: Kay Christopher and Justin Stout

An Assisted Living Community 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 865-376-3030

10 The Roane Reader

Mar. 2012

Household Hints  When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.  Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.  Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.  To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling  To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.  When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.  If you have a problem opening jars: Try using dish washing gloves.

They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.  Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.  Grease Stains on your wallpaper? Try mixing corn starch and water and make into a paste. Rub on with a soft, clean cloth. Test this in an inconspicuous area first.

Worst disaster in Ireland’s history

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Home Cooked Meals

Breakfast

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 Before you discard plastic gloves, make large rubber bands by cutting the top at 1/2 inch intervals.  Make pot holders out of old ironing board covers.  Make kitchen towels or table runners out of soiled tablecloths and towels. Make drapes out of tablecloths.  Cut off the unworn part of old sheets to make pillowcases.  Store sets of buttons on diaper pins, or keep organized in egg cartons.  Use empty luggage to store blankets, seasonal clothes, or gift items purchased in advance during sales.  Use empty soda bottles to store water. Also use them to water house plants when you are away. Cut small holes in the bottom, fill with water, and set inside the plant pots to slowly drip.  Use the tabs on aluminum cans to hang pictures. Just tack them to the back of the frame, or glue on with a hot glue gun.  Use plastic bags for trash. Great for wet items.  Use colorful toy building blocks as handles on children's dressers.  Use old shower curtains as drop cloths when you paint.

Open 5:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

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1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, TN (865) 376.3060

LOGS TO LUMBER AT YOUR SITE! Using a Wood Miser Portable Sawmill Columbus Dr. Lenoir City 865-986-4264

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes HATTIE SHILLINGS

Corned beef stew

1 can tomato soup 16-oz. bag frozen mixed vegetables Envelope dry French onion soup mix

1 small onion, 1 can corned beef Salt and pepper to taste

In a Dutch oven, mix all ingredients (feel free to add any leftover vegetables you have on hand), and 2 soup cans-full of water. Bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer approximately 1 hour, stirring 2 or 3 times.

Beef and Irish Stout stew 2 lbs beef stew meat in 1-inch cubes 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 pinch cayenne pepper 1 clove garlic, crushed 1 ½ cups Irish stout beer (Guinness®) 1 sprig fresh thyme

3 Tbsp vegetable oil, divided pinch salt and black pepper 2 large onions, chopped 2 tablespoons tomato paste 2 cups chopped carrot 1 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley

Toss the beef cubes with tablespoon of vegetable oil. In a separate bowl, stir together flour, salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper. Dredge the beef in this to coat. Heat remaining oil in a deep skillet or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the beef; brown on all sides. Add onions, and garlic. Stir tomato paste into a small amount of water to dilute; pour into the pan; stir to blend. Reduce heat to medium, cover, and cook 5 minutes. Pour ½ cup of the beer into the pan, and as it begins to boil, scrape any bits of food from the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon. This adds a lot of flavor to the broth. Pour in the rest of the beer; add the carrots and thyme. Cover, reduce heat to low; simmer 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally. Taste and adjust seasoning before serving. Garnish with chopped parsley.

Irish chicken and dumplings 2 cans cream of chicken soup 1 cup chopped celery 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 5 carrots, sliced 4 potatoes, quartered 1 1/3 cups milk

3 cups water 2 onions, quartered ½ tsp poultry seasoning 4 boneless chicken breast 1 package frozen green peas 3 cups baking mix

In large, heavy pot, combine soup, water, chicken, celery, onion, salt, poultry seasoning, and pepper. Cover and cook over low heat about 1½ hours. Add potatoes and carrots; cover and cook another 30 minutes. Remove chicken from pot, shred it, and return to pot.

Add peas and cook only 5 minutes longer. Add dumplings. To make dumplings: Mix baking mix and milk until a soft dough forms. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto BOILING stew. Simmer covered for 10 minutes, then uncover and simmer an additional 10 minutes.

Mar. 2012

"Life Lessons Learned" By: Rita Webster

Animals: I am not an animal lover.

In plain English that means keep your dogs and cats on your property and off of mine! The law is simple... they must be on a leash or in a fenced in area. OBEY it, or you will find I know a few ways to stop them from *visiting me* if you get my drift.

Water: When I order a glass of water, a glass of water is what I want. How much plainer can I be? I don't want it lemon-flavored, so don't ask. I don't want it with a lemon wedge on the rim so don't bring it to me that way. Just bring me a glass of plain water please!

Rear windshield wipers: I absolutely hate them. I think they are as redneck looking as one can get and serve no real purpose but to aggravate me. It really drives me crazy to be behind a vehicle and see one swishing back and forth, back and forth etc. I always speed up and pass the vehicle or slow down and let it get way ahead of me so I don't have to watch it. Crazy...I know.

Words: Certain words really get on my nerves when used in normal conversation. Just a few are: Awesome, Seriously, For real, What-ever, Fantastic, Cool, Unbelievable, Fabulous, No way.

Do Not Disturb Signs: When you see one hanging on my hotel/motel door please DO NOT DISTURB! That means don't lightly tap on the door one or two times, open it, and softly say "Do you need anything?"

Why do they do that? Don't they know what DO NOT DISTURB means? More times than not the housekeeper will say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see it."Geesh.... This has happened to me so many times it ain't even funny and believe you me, I do let the maid and the front desk clerk know how mad it makes me.

1. Let the manager know when a restaurant's restroom isn't clean. Or even when it is!

2. Own a world globe.

3. Never call anyone stupid, even if you're kidding.

4. Say a prayer for the president--even if he didn't get your vote.

5. Offer your place in line at the grocery store check-out if the person behind you has only two or three items.

6. Never buy an article of clothing thinking it will fit if you lose a couple of pounds.

7. Root for your team to win, not for the other team to lose.

8. Always watch the high school bands' halftime performances. They practiced just as hard as the football teams.

9. When a child is selling something for a dime, give a quarter.

10. Carry a couple of inexpensive umbrellas in your car that you can give to people caught in the rain.

Question:

What is the difference between an overzealous IRS agent and a Rottweiler?

Answer:

The Rottweiler will let go, eventually.

Happy Birthday to the STOUT Triplets

Pam Stout Edmonds Patricia Stout Phillips Paula Stout Pavlick

March 12th

11 The Roane Reader

Senior Citizen texting code

ATD – At The Doctors BFF – Best Friend Fell BTW – Bring The Wheelchair WTF – Wheres The Fiber FWIW – Forgot Where I Was OMG – Overdosed My Geritol GGPMBL – Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low LOL – Landed On Leg GHA – Got Heartburn Again WDII – What Day Is It IFAICGU – I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up

Dear Friends; I surely thank you all for keeping the Roane Reader (the real one) going on!

And I thank you for including my writings in your paper.

I trust someone will be blessed by them. Elsie Wyrick

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12 The Roane Reader

2012 Sprint Cup Drivers

Sandra L. Stout

Winged Sprints Coming to E.T.

By: John Griffin The USCAS Sprint Car Series are coming to East Tennessee dirt tracks.

This is the same series that ran at Atomic, and turned laps in the 9 and 10 seconds.

The series will make an appearance at Smoky Mountain Speedway on Friday, May 4th and then move to 411 Motor Speedway on Saturday, May 5th.

Both shows should be real good and also, other classes are scheduled to run.

PIT NOTES: The D&R race team with driver Ray Cook are down in Florida this week.

We will let you know how the drivers do.

Racetrack Websites Smoky Mountain Speedway WWW.SMOKYMOUNTAINSPEEDWAY.COM

WARTBURG SPEEDWAY WWW.WARTBURGSPEEDWAY.NET

CROSSVILLE RACEWAY WWW.CROSSVILLERACEWAY.NET

SPRING CITY RACEWAY WWW.SPRINGCITYRACEWAY.COM

411 MOTOR SPEEDWAY 411MOTORSPEEDWAY.NET

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Time (ET ) 12 p.m.

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KIDS WORKSHOP AT THE HOME DEPOT

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Saturday, March 3, 2012 9:00am until 12:00pm

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Drivers interested in attending call Patty Tindle at the store 865-425-0493

The PAINful cost of PRO-pain would of killed me, IF I would of not found out about the LOWEST COST heat you can get for ANY building!

Call me after the 9th for free info on 354-0708

Mar. 2012

The Home Depot in Oak ridge, Tn. Kids Workshop for March is race themed and with racing season just around the corner and attendance dropping at the tracks we thought it would be a great idea if this year we get some of the areas big names to bring out their cars and show em off for the event. for more info go to http://www.homeimproverclub.com/kidsworkshops.aspx

Mar. 2012

Gabbin' with Glander

13 The Roane Reader

A Ghostly Night in Ireland

Watch the Ducks!

A Dublin University student was on the side of the It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of Tim, passed over at the same time. a big storm.

Glander McForny for President - pt 3 Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were The night was rolling on and no car went by. The For a full week, Glander had advertised in the local papers and on storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the cable TV and radio channels about his "ole timey political rally" and of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards boys thusly: "Lads, I'm here to welcome you to fund-raiser in the old Wal-Mart parking lot in Emory Gap. So I him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without heaven where you will spend eternity. Just wasn't surprised when I pulled into the parking lot to see a good- thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, remember one thing, when you go through these sized crowd there. only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and gates, don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be Glander had his pickup truck parked on top of the small slope the engine wasn't on. punished for eternity. where the Wal-Mart used to be. He was standing in the back of the Sean went in first and was amazed to see that The car started moving slowly. John looked at the truck and addressing the crowd: road ahead and saw a bend approaching. Scared, he the entire landscape was encompassed by ducks, "Friends and neighbors, we got serious problems in this country. started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the and try as he might, sure enough he stepped on Now what we've had over the past few decades is a bunch of car hit the bend, a hand appeared out of nowhere through one. He was immediately joined by one of the mamby-pamby bought-and-sold-for politicians--none of 'em have the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with homeliest colleens he's ever laid eyes on, and she got any guts. They just keep lettin' the serious problems get bigger terror, watched as the hand came through the window, said, "Well love, you stepped on a duck and now and bigger. Now, you all know me, and you know I'm a man of my but never touched or harmed him. we're together for all time." And of course the word. If I have the good fortune to be elected your next President, I Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear exact same thing happened to Michael only his do solemnly swear to uphold and en - force every single one of my down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of companion was even the worse for wear. planks I been runnin' on since I entered the race. The first plank is--" the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed By this time Tim was absolutely terrified. And It was about this time that Glander's pickup began to move. As far inside and started telling everybody about the horrible he gingerly managed to make it most of the way as I can figure, the truck was somehow knocked out of gear or the experience he had just had. across the court without stepping on a single emergency brake failed. Anyway, the pickup started moving, A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized duck. Suddenly, his arm was taken by a young heading down the slope. lass. he was crying and.... wasn't drunk.

At first Glander looked around with a startled, puzzled look, then Tim looked over and beheld the most beautiful, Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people looked at the cab and down at the slope. Then he looked around with walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like the graceful, blue-eyed woman he's ever seen in all sort of a desperate look. student, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking his life. He gasped, "I don't understand it!"

By this time the pickup was traveling down the slope at a good around, and seeing the student sobbing at the bar, one The young beauty answered, "Well I'm sure I rate of speed. Glander looked at the tailgate as if he were debating said to the other... don't either, I was walking along minding my whether to jump, but he didn't. I guess he'd reached the conclusion 'Look Paddy.....there's that idiot that got in the car own business, when all of a sudden I stepped on that the truck was going too fast to jump out of it. a duck." while we were pushing it!'

Glander seemed to be kind of paralyzed. He stood with his palms You know it’s going to be a bad St. Patrick’s Day set on the top of the cab, looking ahead at where the pickup was when you notice a leprechaun's bloody shoe in your dog's mouth. headed--straight to the old Kentucky Fried Chicken building. I saw his Bull of the Woods baseball cap fly off and he sort of hunkered SUBSCRIBE down. Then the pickup hit the building. It crashed right into it.

We profusely apologize to We will mail you a copy of The Well, to make a long story short, Glander wasn't hurt. By the Trish Turpin for forgetting Roane Reader each month for a time I made it down to the crash scene, he had climbed out of the year to place her birthday in the back and was just standing there, looking at the truck and the buildfor only $16.

January issue. Please ing. forgive us Trish---trust us, it Send us your address and a check to: He wagged his head, then his lips tightened and he nodded. won't happen again!

Furniture - Appliances W The Roane Reader E "Saboteurs," I heard him mutter. "Sure as the world. Tryin' to sab-o& Gift Items Happy late birthday Trish N 197 Shady Dr. tage the election, not to mention tryin' to kill me. I bet ye my last Harriman, TN 37748 nickle when a thorough investigation and examination of the scene WE BUY GOOD USED FURNITURE ONE PIECE OR ENTIRE ROOMS here is conducted, somebody's fingerprints will be all over the interior of 'at cab."

(865)882-2317 Glander shook his head and clenched his teeth. "Well, all I can say is, they don't know who they're foolin' with. So far, I kept the kid ĹĹ 2744 ROANE STATE HWY ĻĻ gloves on, but this here, unh unh. This here is serious. This here is attempted murder. Yap. They want a fight--well, by grabbies, they're gonna git one!"

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14 The Roane Reader

By RAY COLLETT It really has been a mild winter hasn't it? We haven't had any of the "Hog Killing" cold weather like we used to get. People used to say that you could use every part of a hog except the "Squeal". We even used that.....made "OINKment".

My memories of Rockwood often include the recollections of my friends and classmates who grew up with me. This time, I would like to share an e-mail that I received from Margaret Lynn Weatherford Hartman. She certainly remembers those cold wintry days.

Get comfortable and a hot cup of coffee and let's see what Margaret Lynn had to say. " A heavy snow of four, five or more inches in Rockwood made people, a few adults as well as many children, happy. A cold sunny day highlighted the brilliance of the snow and made everything glitter. Even with a cloud cover the snow proved to be a lot of fun.

We didn't get one every winter, but when we did I knew what was going to happen. The streets with steep inclines were closed to traffic as snow made it too slick for cars to negotiate the hills.

Kids took off for the hills after they had pulled on their boots, coats, hats and gloves and gotten their American Flyer sled out of the garage. There were many steep hills around town for great sled rides and Chestnut Hill, behind our house, was one of the popular ones.

Douglas Avenue, the street that ran parallel to Kingston Avenue, had a great two-block sled ride from a level top to gentle leveling where it ran into Pump House Road. Living on the corner of Kingston Avenue and Evans Street, I always knew it wouldn't be long before kids started coming with their sleds.

Mary or Martha Alexander, or Barbara Beene would call and ask, "Are you sledding?"

"Yes, I'll meet you at the top of the hill in 20 minutes," I replied. I didn't have a sled until Dad built one for me about 1950. It had wooden runners, unlike the store bought "Flyers" with metal runners. Their wood tops had thinner slats whereas mine was thick. It was also missing a horizontal bar that helped the sled to turn. Still it gave me a nice downhill run, and I didn't have to ask other kids to share their sled. That was never a problem though as sharing was something everyone seemed willing to do.

Evans Street crossed Douglas Avenue halfway down the hill, and it gave the rider a chance to test the maneuverability of their sled. Turning on Evans gave a continuous run down to Kingston Avenue. So the riders had a choice, turn or go straight. If anyone missed the turn down Evans, the sled might collide with a large stone pillar that marked one corner of the old Rockwood Inn. Dragging the feet in the snow before the turn helped slow the sled, and I don't ever remember anyone hitting the pillar. Even though it was cold, many kids ventured forth to stay most of the day. They lasted until their clothes got so wet that they had to go home to change and warm themselves up.

Along with the fun of sledding, was playing in the snow by making snowmen and having snowball fights. Teams piled up snow for a barrier or used trees to hide behind as the assaulted their opponents. If one had a boyfriend, meeting them on the hill was a sure way to spend the day together without raising the suspicion of your mother.

Wood for building a fire was gathered prior to dark so that people would have something by which to try and stay warm. The fires illumination and warmth spread out to those standing around visiting while waiting for their next ride. Some people filled their thermos with hot drink to help knock off the chill. Even with the fire, a long wait found the cold seeping up from your feet throughout your body. Although the cold seemed more intense at night, it was a treat to be out after dark, so trying to ignore the chill was a challenge.

Corner streetlights gave off enough light going down and returning so that no one climbing back uphill was ever run over by a sled going down. The climb up helped warm one sufficiently, at least for awhile.

We were lucky if we had several days of good hard packed snow before it turned to slush. I always wished for another good snow before winter came to an end, but if it didn't, there was always next year."

Thanks Margaret Lynn. Margaret Lynn graduated in 1956 and is living in Kitty Hawk, N. C. Your memories of the snow has me freezing. I think I will fire up the ole fireplace.

Until next month...Stay Warm....Ray Collett Ray's book, "Rockwood Memories, Vol. ll can be purchased at "HomeMade", a great arts and craft shop located on Rockwood St. across from Homecoming Park, or call Ray at (865) 354-7680. He will mail them out for you also.

Mar. 2012

Visit us online @

Rockwood Memories

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NOTICE

ROANE COUNTY 2010 TAXES WILL BE COLLECTED AT THE CLERK AND MASTER’S OFFICE ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE ROANE COUNTY COURTHOUSE BEGINNING

MARCH 31, 2012

SINCE 1987

882-5300

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Mar. 2012

Fun & Facts for kids only

St. Patrick wasn't born Irish

Did you know that St. Patrick was not even Irish?

Surprised? St. Patrick was born in Roman Britain, around 389.

When he was 16, he was sold into slavery to Ireland where he was a shepherd for 6 years.

While in captivity he studied and turned to religion. He escaped slavery and later returned to Ireland as a missionary, determined to convert Ireland to Christianity.

THE EARTH'S CRUST

The whole earth is made of rocks & minerals.

Inside the earth there is a liquid core of molten rock and on the outside there is a hard crust.

If you compare the earth to an egg, the shell on an egg is like the crust on the earth.

The crust is made up of rocks and minerals.

Much of the crust is covered by water, sand, soil and ice.

If you dig deep enough, you will always hit rocks.

Ready for some St. Patrick's Day jokes?

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.

How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?

He's Dublin over with laughter!

What does Ireland have more of than any other country?

Irishmen!

What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover??

A rash of good luck!

Did you hear about the leprechaun who went to jail?

He was a lepre-con!

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?

Because they're always a little short.

Did you hear about the leprechaun who worked at the diner?

He was a short-order cook!

Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height?

Yeah, but only a little!

Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?

Because they're very short-tempered!

What baseball position do leprechauns usually play?

Shortstop!

What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation?

A lot of small talk!

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Irish.

Irish who?

Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!

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15 The Roane Reader

The Shamrock

Legend and tradition states that the shamrock was a vital part of St. Patrick’s teachings. He used its three rounded leaves growing on a single stem as a natural symbol simplify the concept of the Trinity.

It is also said that the deep green color of the shamrock, which became Ireland’s emblem, cancels out the superstition that it is bad luck to wear green.

It is a traditional icon of the day, and this stems from how Patrick used the three-leafed shamrock to explain the Trinity. He used it in his sermons to represent how the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit could all exist as separate elements of the same entity. His followers adopted the custom of wearing a shamrock on his feast day.

What is a Leprechaun?

A Leprechaun is an Irish "elf". They are small in size, and some say they look like a tiny, old man in a top hat and red beard. They are tricky fellows and like to play pranks on unsuspecting people.

Legend says that Leprechauns are shoemakers (also called cobblers). Curiously enough, they only make one of each type of shoe. You can tell a Leprechaun is near if you hear the tapping of their hammers.

Each Leprechaun also has a pot of gold! Some say they bury it in secret places only Leprechauns can reach; others say they hide it at the end of the rainbow.

One thing is for sure though, if you catch a Leprechaun he will lead you to his pot of gold and give it to you as a bribe to let him go.

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Hey Kids!!!

We want to see your best artwork.

Send us your drawings along with your name and age. We will put your pictures in The Roane Reader

Send them to 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748 or email to info@roanereader.com

16 The Roane Reader

Economic conditions have become more challenging to middle aged and elderly Americans almost on a daily basis. The main challenge being to make ones retirement lifestyle, health and wealth last for the rest of ones lifetime.

Here are some of the serious challenges to consider:

» Paying health care costs that inevitably increase with age. » Offsetting the rising cost of everyday living » Low interest rates on savings and risk of loss on investments It is becoming clear that to meet that challenge, many older Americans will need to take advantage of savings locked in their home equity. In a report published by, the National Council on Aging, a research and advocacy organization, made a compelling case for expanding the use of a Federally Insured Program for senior citizens designed to help folks over the age of 62. This program may pay for the care they need to remain safely at home, even as they become frailer.

The idea is to employ money readily available today to improve the quality of daily life, while delaying or averting the need for a nursing home. This should be the nation's overall goal when it comes to the well-being of our senior citizens.

The FHA’s Home Equity Conversion mortgage (HECM) is a federally insured program for seniors that allow them to employ a portion of the funds locked up in their homes to help pay for everyday living expenses and other items. » The Home Equity Conversion loans require no monthly payments. Unless a borrower chooses to repay sooner, the loan comes due, with interest, only when the house is sold - such sales are often after the borrowers die.

The funds are readily available, mostly through the Federal Housing Administration.

The program is for those 62 years of age or older and own the home they are living in.

To see if you qualify for this program a simple form needs to be filled out.

Some Uses of Funds: Overcome loss of assets, Increase spendable income, Avoid spending principal to maintain your lifestyle, Delay Social Security payments until you reach the maximum amount, Protect and preserve your assets, Transfer greater wealth to loved ones.

Home Equity Conversion mortgages are becoming more popular as the growing middle class of aging Americans begins to face a financial squeeze due to poor economic conditions.

Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates His firm is licensed and regulated in 31 states. For information on qualification for Home Equity Conversion mortgages call 1-800-530-5700

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$ A Million Dollar Mistake $

Mar. 2012

There is a story told about a man driving away from a bank drive-thru window in wonderment. The teller had not greeted him or expressed thanks as he completed his transaction. He says that even though he did not deposit much money, he was still from the old school that believes you give the customer special attention.

It reminds me of John Barrier who pulled his old pickup truck into the U.S. Bank of Washington parking lot one day in Spokane, Washington.

Dressed in his usual shabby clothes, he paid a quick visit to his broker, which was located in the building, and went back outside to drive away. The parking lot attendant informed Barrier that a new 60 cent parking fee has just been instituted, but that the parking was free if he could get his ticket validated from someone in the bank. Now, Barrier had been a customer there for several years, so he ran back inside, in his usual shabby clothes, to get his ticket stamped. Inside, the teller took one look at Barrier's grubby clothes, made an assumption, and refused to stamp his ticket. She said the bank could only validate tickets when customers made a transaction.

After being directed to a fairly new vice-president, Barrier was basically told the same thing.

“Fine,” Barrier said. “I'll make a transaction!” He then proceeded to withdraw all his money – slightly more than a million dollars – and took it to a bank a block away. That is, after he got his parking ticket stamped!

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Mar. 2012

17 The Roane Reader

The Roane Reader proudly presents THE WRITER'S PAGE

In memory of my sister, Kathy Cromwell.

She died in March of 2011.

She always had the biggest smile on her face, every dang time you saw her.

That smile could mean anything!

"I know a secret! Wanna hear?"

"Ask Mama what we did today!"

"I know what we can do to scare Bamby and Chye!"

Oh, but my favorite smile was when she said, "Get out 'that game', and let's play!"

You know, only 3 people knew the rules to that game.

She had so many smiles, and I always just had to smile back.

We were both smiling and laughing, that last time we talked.

Now we wear a ♥ on our foot, to remember her smile.

As if we could forget,, right?

You better believe I smile when I remember my sister.

And I cry and I cry.

Because now, only 2 people know the rules to that game.

Melinda McCuistion

Love is a Myth

Harriman

My Sister's Smile

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By: Charles (C.J.) Moore Love is a myth that unites people together forever for a short period of time.

It allows families to show their feelings through an emotion known only to them.

Love is a myth that's so powerful, every person finds it in their life.

Whether the person they love knows or not, they love them.

Our greatest love is family because without love we would have no family.

So myth of it is real to everyone, But found by only the few who seek it out.

An intentional gaze into someone’s heart can reveal someone’s love, and for whom it is for, but we cannot see.

Because to Love we are blind, till love finds us or we search to find it.

Happy Birthday

J.R. Christopher March 21st

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Words of Wisdom

By: Elsie Wyrick Our Heavenly Father did not make hell for everybody!

It was made only for Satan and his evil helpers.

But people started turning away from God to Satan And hell had to be made much bigger.

So, if you find yourself there (in hell) after your life here on earth is over, You only have yourself to blame, not God. But if you are still alive now, you have a precious chance that God is offering you.

Please cry out to Him right now, And He will give you eternal life forever with Him.

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18 The Roane Reader

Mar. 2012

Aquarius

Pisces

When everything begins to shift about, define it as refinement. The planets have the purpose of refining our lives so that we are no longer clumsy, have discrimination, and are able to perceive real love from illusion. You will find yourself in everyone else's relationships this month. Assume the attitude of observer. You'll learn a lot about yourself.

You need to tend to your health. A change in diet, in exercise, and the intake of water is vital. In Rosie O'Donnell's book "Find Me, " she mentions exercising twice a day. The results were immediate. You might find her book interesting, too. But more so is the exercise routine that needs to be established daily. Make it the most important aspect in your life now.

January 21-Febuary18 February 19-March 20

Cancer

June 22-July 23 Money issues will be prominent.

Not a bad thing. But just how to go about financing what's needed. Don't be worried in the dark of the night. Be aware that all you need is available in the strangest times and places.

You're learning how to be independent, self assertive, and complete projects begun long, long ago. Ask for help from unseen regions of reality.

Leo

July 24-August 22 Some type of travel or holiday would soothe and nurture you.

Stay deep within yourself so you can tend to your creativity which is about to burst through past blockages. Allow the inner spaces of silence to lull you into a pause.

Ask yourself what your next solar year needs to have for your self contentment. Careful with diet and foods. Expansion is possible.

Aries

May 21-June 21

The whole series of events in your life are about you and others. All relationships with everyone. Expect the form of relationships to come to a point of poise. This is so you can make decisions concerning future alliances. This includes enemies as well. Give from your heart, unconditionally. Provide praise, understanding, appreciation. Expect nothing in return. This is a test.

Go home quickly, and stay there awhile. If already there, be prepared to nest. All your vital life force is there waiting for you to comprehend that fact that life does indeed begin at home, it ends there, and life unfolds there. You know this. Therefore complete tending of home is needed; clean, sort, eliminate, organize. You are to build your lighted house and dwell within.

You'll need to communicate much more information than you're used to. That means quite a lot.

Realize that you are a teacher, that information flows through your mind with lightning speed, and what you say and do are brilliant.

Though you are unaware of this.

This month your inadequate self image will burst apart. Grief makes this occur. So does love.

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

In the coming year it's best to stay deep in touch with only yourself.

In the past six months you've been in touch with everyone else's agenda, needs, and inner life. This has been at the cost of your own.

Your future awaits and you're the star player. Seed your own goals.

Then water, fertilize, compost and tend to them. This is your Soul's plan for your education.

Perhaps you feel a lack of spiritual direction as if a void has occurred in your inner life. Perhaps your spiritual roots need watering, tilling, and a new sort of prayer must be called forth. Perhaps the music of your life's out of tune. Perhaps you're not appreciated enough. I think that's it. Sow a garden, a real one. Plant a tree, several of them.

Allow silence to hold you.

The intersection between home life and public life will assume, at first, a state of opposition. It may feel like a crisis. The purposes are for a bold creative endeavor to unfold and new ways of expressing yourself in your field of work. Dis-orientation could be felt. Sort the public from the private. Doing this you will achieve discrimination and balance. Then the next step is available.

August 23-September 23 September 24-October23 October 24-November22

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Gemini

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March 21-April 19

THOUGHT

Could the problem not be the Republicans and/or the Democrates? Could it not be their constant arguing?

Could it be the content and/or context of their argument not being focused on the American citizen as a whole?

JUST THINKING

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Sagittarius

Capricorn

November 22-December 21

December 22-January

Artistic activities become most important taking you beyond your day to day work in the world. These activities could include design, redecorating, layout, painting-all things to make your work world brighter and more beautiful. Someone older than you may act as a guiding light and source of attraction. Careful.

Commodity and usefulness are Capricorn words. You must begin to realize that you are the commodity that's most important here. And that as far as usefulness, there's no other sign as useful as you. Therefore we keep coming back to you and your awareness of self as perfect. Yes, perfect. You may continue to feel tired. Rest as much as possible.

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Mar. 2012

19 The Roane Reader

IRS funnies

A letter to the IRS To: Internal Revenue Service, Department of the Treasury Washington, DC 20001 Dear Sirs: Enclosed is my 2003 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.

Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00.

Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value of $22.00, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund option on Form 1040.

It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man next year in accordance with officially established government values. and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded.

Sincerely, Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"

Another satisfied taxpayer "In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"

The number of words dealing with income taxes in the Internal Revenue Code and IRS regulations rose nearly tenfold between 1955 and 2005, from 718,000 to more than 7 million How is a mugger different from the Internal Revenue Service? Both take your money, but the mugger doesn't make you fill out forms.

One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his arms around the boy, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened.

"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?"

“No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise A man about to have a heart transplant was offered the choice of either a 26 year-old me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." marathon runner’s heart or the heart of a 62 year-old IRS agent. He picked the agent’s heart because he said it had never been used.

"And what," his friend asked, "Do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."

e tur i rn

hom ed e

The Spotted Spaniel

r co

fu

One must take pride in paying up every April 15. Look at it this way: If you don't spend your dollars on the IRS, you'd probably just squander it on foolish things, like food, rent.

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