February 2012

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THE ORIGINAL

Roane Reader

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Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!

VOLUME 19

FEBRUARY 2012

NUMBER 4

Established 1993

Rockwood Memories

Ray Collet

Precious Memories

By Kay Christopher

Happy Valentines Day

Penny Pinchers

Save money

Bible Beat

Quizzes, puzzles, facts

Pick one up before they are all gone!

2 10 8&9 3

Entertainment

6

Writer's Page

17

Aunt Hattie

10

Trivia, facts, movie mistakes Our readers submitted writings Hurry-up recipes When to do what

The Roane Reader

14

Seen and Heard

By our readers

According to the Almanac

FROM:

5,000

Distributed

Moron of the Month

By Jerry Lemons

4 13

Obituaries

7

Fun & Facts for Kids only

15

Household Hints

10

You & The Stars

18

Monthly

And Adults

Save time & energy

What's in your future?

2 The Roane Reader

Precious Memories

The Game Warden

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Arkansas recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah.. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?

'Well, what?,' says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH,' replied the warden!

'What fish?,' replied the redneck. ............

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers , but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

We should live our lives as though Christ were coming this afternoon. -Jimmy Carter

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By: Kay Christopher

Ford's Fishing Place

When I was little, growing up in Emory Gap, Sunday was always a special day.

Mama would fix a big breakfast while Daddy kept an eye on the biscuits baking. We always had biscuits, gravy, eggs and bacon with our special Sunday breakfast, and ended it with either home canned peaches or blackberries Mama had put away for such occasions.

All us kid's would then walk to Sunday School, then head back home for an outstanding dinner (what people now call lunch).

We also had meat with the Sunday meal, (Back then, meat was something you seldom had through the week, unless it was in goulash, stew or chili). We got our protein from pinto beans that Mama cooked every Monday, and we had them every day until they were all gone, then we had macaroni and other stuff that served as a meat substitute.

Anyways, after we had all finished eating, we'd load the old car up and go to the Tennessee River for a swim.

We either went to New Hope, where Grande Vista Bay Subdivision is now located, or to a place we called Ford's Fishing Place in Rockwood.

Mama always made us wait for an hour after we ate before we could go in the water because if we went in any sooner than that, we'd all get cramps and drown.

After one hour, all the other kids would float around on their inner tubes, or swim and play out in the water, but I was the baby, and not as skilled as they were, so I would splash around near the bank at Mama and Daddy's feet.

There was an old wooden boat that was always tied up to the bank, and Daddy would put me in it and let me float way out into the water, he'd then pull me back to the bank by the old chain that was attached to it.

One day, as a joke, he acted like he was fumbling with the chain in the water and yelled to me that he had dropped the chain.

Now, I was about five years old and couldn't swim a lick, but when I heard him say he dropped the chain, I immediately envisioned myself floating down the Tennessee River in that old boat for days before someone could get to me.

So I did the only thing I could do to survive---I quickly stood up and jumped in the water. I jumped out of that boat so fast, Daddy didn't have time to tell me he was kidding about dropping the chain.

Of course, I went straight down—it was over my head.

Mama and Daddy immediately panicked and Daddy had to jump up, run through the water and swim to reach me before I drowned.

Needless to say, he never let me get in that boat again.

Mama and Daddy laughed every time they would tell someone the story of me, the boat and the Tennessee River.

Memories are good, but good memories are great.

WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban Regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes and without hesitation said,"Land mines."

Moral of the story: no matter what language you speak or where you go.....

BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN.

Check out our online version in full color with interactive links and media!! www.roanereader.com

3 The Roane Reader SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY

FEB. 2012

Dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus, ...breath ...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Tennessee caves - #1

With more than 8,000 documented caves, Tennessee offers plenty of spelunking opportunities for both novice and experienced cave explorers. In fact, according to the National Caves Association, Tennessee is home to more caves than any other state.

Basic Flying Rules:

Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."

By O.I. Seenya

“Until the people demand the government provides some type of free local rehab facilities for people whose bodies are addicted to drugs or alcohol, our friends and family members will continue to die”.

A dog, trotting down the road with only two legs, and they were both on the same side of its body!

“Getting onto me about my smoking is dangerous to YOUR health!”

In a Doctor's office, “I am watching my weight, all I have to do is look down.”

“Setons Thrift Store closing down? What will Nanny do with all her time?”

Someone placing a small Christmas gift in their mailbox for their mail carrier, only to have it returned two days later!

The “Copycat Paper” still copying the front page format of The Roane Reader, confusing people to believe they are picking up a copy of this paper. Some of our advertisers have told us they said they bought us out. How dishonest! For shame, for shame. Bad doggie, no biscuit!

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4 The Roane Reader

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FEB. 2012

Where are they buried?

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow 1910 -1934 1909 -1934 Cause of death:167 bullets coming from an ambush law enforcement had set up in Louisiana using the ruse of a disabled vehicle blocking the road they knew Bonnie & Clyde would be traveling on that fateful day.

Gravesite: Contrary to popular belief they are not buried in the same casket although both are buried in Texas. Bonnie was buried at Crown Hill Memorial Park in Dallas, while Clyde is buried at Western Heights Cemetery.

Directions to Bonnie: From I-35E take exit 436 and follow the NW Highway (Rt.12) East for 2 miles. Turn left onto Webb Chapel Road. Crown Hill is 1/2 mile on the right. Upon entering the cemetery, bear left at the first drive. At 100 ft. and to the right is Bonnie's flat marker.

Directions to Clyde: From I-35E take exit 427 and follow Colorado Blv. West for 3 miles to Forth Worth Ave. Turn right onto Ft. Worth Ave. and Western Heights Cemetery is 3/4 mile on the left, atop a small hill. Enter the cemetery and walk 75 ft. to the left. There is a small flat marker.

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according to the almanac Weather Forecast

1st-3rd - Few showers, then fair.

4th-7th - Mild days, cool nights.

8th-11th - Wet snow Tenn., western N.C. 12th -15th - Wet weather, then fair skies, milder.

16th -19th - Unsettled.

20th -23rd - Wet snow Tenn., part of N.C., then fair.

24th -29th - Showery, then fair, milder.

Best days to...

Feb. Begin diet to lose weight-------------------------9,13 Breed animals-------------------------------------13,14 Castrate animals----------------------------------19,20 Cut hair to discourage growth------------------11,12 Cut hair to encourage growth-------------------27,28 Destroy pests and weeds----------------------------24 Have dental care-----------------------------------9,10 Plant above ground crops--------------------------4,5 Plant below ground crops--------------------------9.1 Prune to discourage growth---------------------15,16 Prune to encourage growth----------------------24,25 Quit smoking---------------------------------------9,13 Slaughter livestock-------------------------------13,14 Wean animals or children-------------------------9,13

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FEB. 2012

Finally...a pastor with GUTS! Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people.. When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard!

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare..

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem....

We have abused power and called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively.. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea .

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, 'The Rest of the Story,'and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'one nation under God.' Pass this prayer on to your friends.... 'If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.'

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Just Stay

5 The Roane Reader

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.

"Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.

He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

"Who was that man?" he asked.

The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.

"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son was Killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this Gentleman's Name?

The Nurse with Tears in Her Eyes Answered, Mr. William Grey.............

The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay. Just Stay

nag, nag, nag

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000. The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home. The undertaker asked him, "why would you spend $5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost $150???

The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!"

6 The Roane Reader

Life's truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was a kid.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?

Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

21. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

24. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

25. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

26. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

27. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

FEB. 2012

ENTERTAINMENT

by Barbara Pelfrey-Milsaps

Harriman Carnegie Library in the Movies

Harriman Public Library has been featured in no less than four full-length films.

The library's movie debut was in the 1999 film October Sky, formerly The Rocket Boys. In the movie the library was featured as the McDowell County Courthouse. The exterior of the building was the background in various scenes in the film. The building was sprayed with a substance that looked like coal dust to make the building look as though it was located in the coal-mining town of Coalwood, West Virginia. The library scenes were filmed in April 1998. The movie had an invitation-only southern premiere at Regal's West Town Mall Cinema 9, and then the film was released nationwide. Later the movie was released on VHS and DVD. The movie Crimewave: 18 Months of Mayhem was filmed in the spring of 2006. The film featured true-life gangsters of the past. The library building was the scene of a bank robbery. Famous gangster John Dillinger and his heavily-armed men captured hostages from the bank building. Everyone was rushed out the front door and down the stairs, only to be in the middle of a deadly shootout on the library lawn. The scene ends with actors fleeing in vintage antique cars and a dead man lying on the sidewalk. The movie aired on the Biography Channel in 2006.

In the spring of 2008, producers from Jupiter Entertainment requested that the library represent Carnegie Libraries in the film Total Excess. The story of Andrew Carnegie, his love of books, desire for knowledge, and his millions, were featured in this movie.

Actual footage of the Harriman Library was filmed for this movie to exhibit the structure and design Mr. Carnegie had chosen for the hundreds of libraries he funded across America. Although his reputation was that of an evil greedy man, many considered the millions he contributed to the needy balanced the scales. "For the good of all" was his famous motto. The historic Harriman Carnegie Library has been true to these famous words throughout more than one hundred years. The History Channel featured this movie near the end of 2008.

In 2010, the movie Ace Wonder was filmed inside the library. This is a Christian, young adult film about a pre-teen boy who breaks a window of the library. The librarian approaches the boy about the matter. Morals, inspiration, and a surprising friendship is defined as the story unfolds. On the day of filming, every square foot of the library, the library lawn, and the street were filled with equipment, cameras, computers, and crew members during the twelve-hour time-frame.

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Tennessee Trivia

What do you know about the great state you live in?

1. What city of 3,600 residents is annually visited by more than four million people?

2. What is the height of Fall Creek Falls, the highest waterfall East of the Rocky Mountains?

3. What famous WW1 hero's farm and grist mill is situated just North of Jamestown?

4. Where is the geographic center of Tennessee?

5. How many states can be viewed from Lookout Mountain?

6. Which city has the largest population in the state?

7. Where does Tennessee rank in population compared to the other states?

8. Davy Crockett was born near what present-day town?

9. What do the three stars on the Tennessee flag represent?

10. Where was the Ku Klux Klan organized in 1855?

ANSWERS:

Gatlinburg 256 feet Alvin York Near Old Lascassas Pike, North of Murfreesboro 5. Seven (Tn. Ga. Ala. NC. SC. Kt. and Va.) 6. Memphis 7. Seventeenth 8. Rogersville 9. East, Middle, and West 10. Tennessee Pulaski, by Judge T.M. Jones and his son Calvin 1.

2.

3.

4.

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FEB. 2012

obituaries

Dec. 23rd Essie Brackett, 84 Harriman Dec. 28th Mary Caldwell, 83, Harriman Dec. 29th Rebecca Brooksbank Day, Kingston Paul L. Hicks, 61, Lenoir City.

Dec. 30th Selma Collett, 87, Frost Bottom Crystal M. Hunt, 27, Harriman Jan. 2nd Fred A. Burd, 37, Rockwood Deborah Mitchell, 44, Kingston Jan. 3rd Poin D. Hawks, Jr., 93, Coalfield Jan. 5th Phillip Abels, 34, Rockwood Jan. 7th Lucinda Brown, Harriman Jan. 8th Garry Kittrell, 45, Oakdale Jan. 9th Lliana Ruiz, infant, Harriman Elna Walters Hadley, 90, Kingston Walter Collins, 94, Midtown Jan. 10th Edna Reams, 91, Rockwood Jan. 11th Alta Lewis, 88, Harriman Jan. 12th Esther Brown, 80, Daysville Garland Wright, 65, Harriman Jan. 13th Earl Parker, 72, Harriman Jan. 14th Owen Narramore, 88, Rockwood Jan. 15th “Bob” Ross Sr., 81, Kingston Chad Miller, 27, Kingston Jan. 18th Ruby Gray, 90, Oliver Springs Jan. 19th Donald Todd, 69, Oliver Springs Bonnie Seiber, 84, of Harriman Gracie West, 84, Ten Mile Leona Humphrey, 64, Wartburg Lucille “Cile” Stone, 82, Harriman Luther Wright, 79, Elverton Jan. 24th Roger D. Seiber, 27, Harriman Mildred Fickey, 84, Rockwood Jan. 25th Mary Nelson, Harriman

31st Installation Sq - (TAC) 4138th Installation Sq - (SAC) Turner AFB Albany, Georgia 1 September 1957 - 7 June 1960 Chapter II PETE SEMANICK (Continued from April 2011 issue) When my tour at Spangdahlem came to an end I didn’t receive an assignment for a permanent change of station; my upcoming short reenlistment date was the reason given. Instead, I was sent to Manhattan Beach AFS in New York for further assignment.

The trip to Manhattan Beach was quite exciting and full of surprises.

First was the loss of baby bottles in the Azores during our transatlantic refueling stop. The bottles were needed to feed our 9 month-old twin daughters. When we became airborne I asked the stewardess where the bottles were located. It wasn’t until then that we learned the cleaning crew in the Azores had inadvertently removed what they thought was trash in the seat compartment-four empty baby bottles. We hand fed the babies by spoon for the rest of the flight. Now this was a difficult feat.

While awaiting Customs clearance in the New York airport I was apprehended in an unauthorized area of the terminal by two members of the Air Force Police. I had mistakenly gone into a roped off area while trying to locate the military reception desk in the airport. I eventually convinced them that I was legally there and had just arrived from overseas waiting transportation to Manhattan Beach AFB. My wife could hardly believe her eyes when she saw the two military cops escorting me past her.

When we finally arrived at Manhattan Beach, temporary quarters were assigned, but the so-called quarters were just barely habitable: shoddy furniture, small beds and to our amazement roaches crawled throughout the rooms.

Was I ever glad to be on my way to my permanent duty station - 31st Installation Squadron, Turner AFB (TAC) in Albany, Georgia. I did not realize the base would transfer to Strategic Air Command only 12 months later with my unit re-designated as 4138th Installation Squadron (SAC). At that time the base changed from F-100 fighter aircraft to KB-29 and KB-50 heavy bombers that were modified as air refueling tanker aircraft. Eventually the older tanker aircraft were replaced with modern KC- 135 refueling tanker aircraft.

Redneck Jokes

7 The Roane Reader

We have enjoyed putting redneck jokes in our paper for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up.

Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those.

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.' You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say 'Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival' or 'The Holidays.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

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8 The Roane Reader

I Love My Attorney

Bible Beat

FEB. 2012

If men were angels,

After living what I felt was a 'decent' life, my time on earth came to the end. no government The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house. would be necessary.

The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table.

-James Madison As I looked around I saw the 'prosecutor'.

He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me. He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.

I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney, a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar to me, I felt I knew Him. The corner door opened and there appeared the Judge in full flowing robes.

He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of Him. As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, 'Let us begin.'

The prosecutor rose and said, 'My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell.'

He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and In the past when I cheated others. Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life, and the more he spoke, the further down in my seat I sank.

I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about.

As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all.

I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life - couldn't that at least equal out part of the harm I'd done?

Satan finished with a fury and said, 'This man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise.'

When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might approach the bench. The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned Him to come forward.

As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty. I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior.

He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, 'HI, DAD,' and then He turned to address the court.

Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned, I won't deny any of these allegations. And, yes, the wage of sin is death, and this man deserves to be punished.'

Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with outstretched arms and proclaimed, 'However, I died on the cross so that this person might have eternal life and he has accepted Me as his Savior, so he is Mine.'

My Lord continued with, 'His name is written in the Book of Life, and no one can snatch him from Me. Satan still does not understand yet. This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy.'

As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His Father and said, 'There is nothing else that needs to be done. I've done it all..'

The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The following words bellowed from His lips.....

'This man is free. The penalty for him has already been paid in full. Case dismissed.'

NOTICE

427 N. ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN

882-6676

OPEN: MON - FRI 7AM - 3PM SATURDAY 7AM - 12PM Saturday is For the Best Breakfast in Downtown

For only $5.97 + tax Get a Full Breakfast Including your Coffee.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

2011 ROANE COUNTY PROPERTY TAX Can be paid at United Community Bank in Kingston.

You must have your 2011 Tax Notice, and pay the amount due.

The last day to pay the 2011 Tax at United Community Bank will be February 29, 2012.

Credit card payments may be made at www.Tennesseetrustee.com.

What did Jesus say about paying taxes?

Luke 20:20-26 King James Version (KJV) 20And they watched him, and sent forth spies, which should feign themselves just men, that they might take hold of his words, that so they might deliver him unto the power and authority of the governor.

21And they asked him, saying, Master, we know that thou sayest and teachest rightly, neither acceptest thou the person of any, but teachest the way of God truly: 22Is it lawful for us to give tribute unto Caesar, or no?

23But he perceived their craftiness, and said unto them, Why tempt ye me?

24Shew me a penny. Whose image and superscription hath it?

They answered and said, Caesar's.

25And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's.

26And they could not take hold of his words before the people: and they marvelled at his answer, and held their peace.

Dont forget to keep praying for our Firefighter (badge#857) Caleb Wilson

He was seriously injured in a car accident and there is a fund setup for donations at Enrichment Federal Credit Union. There is also a benefit dinner February 4th at 5:00 p.m. at New Midway Baptist Church.

Donations accepted

Bible Beat

FEB. 2012

"What is the Bible?"

The word “Bible” comes from the Latin and Greek words meaning “book,” a fitting name, since the Bible is the book for all people, for all time. It’s a book like no other, in a class by itself.

Sixty-six different books comprise the Bible. They include books of law, such as Leviticus and Deuteronomy; historical books, such as Ezra and Acts; books of poetry, such as Psalms and Ecclesiastes; books of prophecy, such as Isaiah and Revelation; biographies, such as Matthew and John; and epistles (formal letters) such as Titus and Hebrews.

REVIVAL BIBLE BAPTIST CHURCH 1010 MARGRAVE ST. HARRIMAN NIGHTLY FEB. 13-15 -- 7 P.M. EVANGELIST: BILLY MITCHELL PASTOR: GLENN LEFFEW

Answers to Bible Quest

9 The Roane Reader

To play this online go to: http://www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/A2IBaptizeYouwithWater.html I Baptize You with Water, Matthew 3:1-12

Across

1. one who tells God's wishes 4. out of control 7. snakes 8. a major Hebrew prophet 9. grasshoppers 11. barbers cut this 13. sorrow for actions 18. stronger 19. shoes with straps 20. actions that are against God's will 21. use water to wash away sins 23. move the air to cool 25. stream 28. not curvy 30. told about danger 31. part of plant below the ground 32. rocks 33. blessed Down 2. lift

3. get ready 4. anger 5. unable to put out 6. does not tell the truth 10. tall woody plants

Happy Birthday

12. man who baptized Jesus 13. area 14. ways to travel 15. beating the seeds out of wheat 16. home of God

17. very dry land 22. tossed 23. dad 24. what apostles called Jesus 26. deserving honor 27. leave quickly 29. a helping ___

Bible Quest

1. From what kind of lumber did Noah build the ark?

2. When Aaron put his rod inside the tabernacle, what grew on it?

3. In a parable, Christ compared the signs of His coming to the branches on a(n) __________ tree that show when summer is near.

4. What happened when Moses cast a tree into the waters of Marah?

5. What plant did Rachel beg of her sister Leah because it was said to help with fertility?

6. Prior to His crucifixion, what piece of attire was placed on Christ's body to humiliate Him? 7. What did Jacob give Esau in exchange for his birthright?

8. Fill in the blank: The Pharisees ridiculed Christ because His disciples plucked and ate _________ on the Sabbath.

9. In a parable, Christ compared the separation of the righteous from the wicked to the harvesting of _________ from the tares.

10. Paul compared the Gentiles to wild branches grafted into a good and healthy ___________ tree.

Happy Anniversary

Larry & Shirley Roberts Feb. 14th

Mike Freeman Feb. 6th

Bible couples

Who married Abraham?

Who married Isaac?

Who married Jacob?

Who married Moses?

Who married David?

Who married Adam?

Who married Hosea?

Who became queen to Ahasuerus, king of Persia?

ANSWERS: Sarah Rebekah Rachel Zipporah Michal Eve Gomer Esther

Genesis 6:14 Numbers 17:8 Mark 13:28 Exodus 15:25 Genesis 30:14 Mark 15:17 Genesis 25:34 Matthew 12:1 Matthew 13:30 Romans 11:17

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The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership.

Our address is 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, Tn 37748. We welcome letters to the editor.

The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.

Subscriptions are available at $16 per year.

Co-owners/Publishers: Kay Christopher and Justin Stout

An Assisted Living Community 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 865-376-3030

10 The Roane Reader

FEB. 2012

Household Hints  To eliminate cat litter box odors: When you clean the litter box, rinse it out and pour about 1/2 inch of cheap white vinegar in the box. Let it stand for 20 minutes or so, then swish it around, rinse with cold water, and dry the box. The acid in the vinegar neutralizes the ammonia smell.  You can also add vinegar to your pooch's bath water should he come in contact with a skunk. Vinegar also works well with those summer smells that all dogs seem to acquire. Again add it to their bath water.  Add a few drops of eau-de-cologne to the water in your steam iron to give clothes a fresh fragrance.  To remove the smell of cigarette from lingering in the room, put half teaspoon of baking powder in the ashtray, or keep a cup of vinegar in the room to absorb the odor.  Bathroom Odors: Place a shallow dish of baking soda behind the toilet to absorb bathroom odors.  Fireplace Soot Odor: To diminish and remove this odor, after you clean out the ashes, place a shallow pan of baking soda for a few hours or overnight in the fireplace.  Kitty Litter: To keep cat litter fresh smelling, mix baby powder in with the litter.  Pet Urine on Carpet: First, blot up what you can with paper towels.

Mix one teaspoon mild dish-washing detergent in one cup warm water, dip a clean towel in the liquid and, working from outside in, dab at stain. Do not overwet. Rinse with fresh water and blot dry.

Next, add on-third cup white vinegar with two-thirds cup water and dab on stain. Rinse with water; blot until dry. Once area is totally dry (after at least 24 hours), sprinkle entire carpet with baking soda or rug deodorizer. Vacuum after a few hours.

Happy Birthday

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 Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.  Did you know that cold tea will clean woodwork? Give it a try!  Grease stains on your carpet?

Shake some cornstarch over the grease stain and let set there overnight or at least 8 hours.

Vacuum.  Cleaning Brass or copper-Wash with salt and buttermilk or vinegar and salt.  To make a general purpose cleaner, combine ½ c. baking soda and 1 tbsp. water to form a paste.  To unclog a drain, mix 1 c. baking soda, 1 c. salt and 1 c. white vinegar. (It will fizz) Let it sit for 15 minutes then pour down clogged drain. Pour in several cups of boiling water.  Scuff marks on your vinyl luggage? Try rubbing lemon extract over the area.

MACHINE QUILTING

Home Cooked Meals

1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, TN (865) 376.3060

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes

Penny Pinchers

HATTIE SHILLINGS

Maple-Glazed Yams with Pecan Topping 3 lbs yams, peeled, cut in ¼ inch rounds ½ cup maple syrup 1 teaspoon orange zest (optional) Salt 6 Tbsp butter, cut in ½ inch pieces 1 ½ cups pecans 1/3 cup brown sugar, packed Preheat oven to 400°. Heat a large pot of salted water to boiling. Add yam rounds. Cook yams until the water starts to simmer again.

Remove from heat, drain, rinse in cold water. Butter a baking dish.

Arrange the yams in the dish, overlapping the pieces, layering yams to fill dish. Sprinkle each layer with salt. Sprinkle with orange zest.

Pour maple syrup over yams. Dot with 2 Tbsp of the butter. Cover with aluminum foil and bake about 20 minutes. Put ¾ cup pecans in a blender and grind into a coarse meal. Coarsely chop the other 3/4 cup of pecans. Mix the ground pecans and brown sugar together.

Using your fingers, mix in the remaining 4 Tbsp of butter until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Mix in the chopped pecans. Sprinkle the pecan mixture over the yams. Bake, uncovered, until the topping browns, about 15 minutes.

Battered and deep-fried onion rings 1 large sweet onion 1/2 teaspoon salt ¼ Petit diced tomatoes 2/3 cup water

Cut onion into rings and cover with ice water. Refrigerate while making the batter. Combine batter ingredients, folding in stiffly beaten egg white last. Drain the chilled onion ring slices, dip in the batter and fry in batches in hot oil (375°) for 3 to 5 minutes or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels.

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1 cup flour ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 egg white, stiffly beaten

Cabbage Supreme

1 large cabbage, cut in 6 wedges 3 tablespoons flour 2 egg yolks 2 tablespoons heavy cream

2 tablespoons butter 1 cup vegetable or chicken broth juice of 1 lemon

Place cabbage in a large saucepan in salted water; bring to a boil.

Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes, or until just tender.

Drain cabbage well and reserve 1 cup of liquid for sauce. In a medium saucepan, melt butter; stir in flour and vegetable or chicken broth and reserved cooking liquid. Continue cooking, stirring constantly, until sauce is thick and bubbly. Beat egg yolks in a small bowl; stir ½ cup of the hot sauce, then return egg yolk mixture to remaining sauce in the saucepan. Stir in lemon juice and cream. Heat slowly for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Remove hard stem from cabbage wedges; arrange cabbage wedges on a serving platter.

Spoon some of the sauce over it and serve the rest separately.

11 The Roane Reader

FEB. 2012

"Life Lessons Learned" By: Rita Webster

1. Loud Rap Music: I don't like it on my radio and I especially don't like it on yours when you come pulling up next to me at a red light with your car windows down, speakers blaring, and your whole car shaking! Please turn it down until you are on an open road with no one around. OK? 2. Telemarketer's: Don't interrupt my favorite TV show or my supper with your stupid phone call and your stupid sales pitch! You're using my home telephone (which you are not paying for) and now you think you have the right to start aggravating me to death on my cell phone (which you are not paying for.) Well, you don't! Quit bothering me!

3. My Height: I'm tall. I know I'm tall. I've been tall for 50 years. Do you think I don't know that? Why do you want to make me feel even more uncomfortable around everyone else by saying loudly upon the first time meeting you,"Wow, you are tall!" Geesh....

4. Homework: Teachers, please teach my child during the time you are getting paid to do it. They do not need 1-2 hours of homework everynight! If you want me to help you with your job, give me half your salary.

5.Sneezing: I'm sorry, I hate it when someone sneezes and another person says, "God bless you."I don't why but it really gets on my nerves when I hear that being said because of a sneeze! It seems sacrilegious to me.

Happy Birthday Timmie Douglas February 8th

1. Watch your back.

2. Watch your language.

3. If you borrow something more than twice, buy one for yourself.

4. When you build a home, make sure it has a screened-in porch.

5. Don't argue with your mother.

6. Go for long, handholding walks with your wife/husband.

7. Ask an older person you respect to tell you his or her greatest regret.

8. Record the birthday height of your children on the kitchen doorjamb. Never paint it.

9. Every once in a while, let your kids play in the rain.

10. Never marry someone in hope that they'll change later.

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Send us your address and a check to: The Roane Reader 197 Shady Dr. Harriman, TN 37748

Leap Day traditions - no man is safe!

While leap day helped official timekeepers, it also resulted in social customs turned upside down when February 29 became a "no man's land" without legal jurisdiction.

As the story goes, the tradition of women romantically pursuing men in leap years began in 5th century Ireland, when St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick about the fair sex having to wait for men to propose.

Patrick finally relented and set February 29 aside as the day set aside allowing women the right to ask for a man's hand in marriage.

The tradition continued in Scotland, when Queen Margaret declared in 1288 that on February 29 a woman had the right to pop the question to any man she fancied. Menfolk who refused were faced with a fine in the form of a kiss, a silk dress, or a pair of gloves given to the rejected lady fair.

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12 The Roane Reader

FEB. 2012 No. Sandra L. Stout

Tracks form partnership by: John Griffin

Wow!!! East Tennessee and the surrounding areas are in for a real good 2012 racing season at two area dirt tracks.

On December 16th, the owners of Smoky Mountain Speedway, Larry Garner, Roger Sellers and Stanley Best met with the owner of 411 Motor Speedway, Mitch McCarter, to work out a deal to bring the best racing to East Tennessee.

Many two day shows are on the schedules and when Smoky Mountain runs a very big show, 411 will either run on Friday or not race that week.

Drivers met with both owners, and it was agreed that the NeSmith Crate Series would be the series to go with as they will be paired in the WRS to run for points.

The first race of the season will be on Saturday, April 14th, with the Southern All Stars paying $5,000 to win.

Other big shows will be the Big Daddy 500 sponsored by Pilot Food Marts on June 16th, and on July 17th, Ray Cook's Shaffer Oil Series will invade the track.

Cook drives the D&R Wrecker and services local races out of Kingston, but takes the week off to put on his show.

Following is the schedule for the 2012 season. Hope to see you there.

2 ‘Everybody needs CASH BEFORE payday’ Come by and see Tiffany

1 2 3

SCHEDULE Date

Race

February 18 February 23 February 23 February 26 March 4 March 11

HARLEY MECHANIC

A mechanic was removing a cylinderhead from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the Garage. "Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its' heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

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WARTBURG SPEEDWAY WWW.WARTBURGSPEEDWAY.NET

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FEB. 2012

Valentine's Day History

by: Borgna Brunner The history of Valentine's Day is obscured, and further clouded by various fanciful legends. The holiday's roots are in the ancient Roman festival Lupercalia, a fertility celebration commemorated annually on February 15. Pope Gelasius recast this pagan festival as a Christian feast day circa 496, declaring February 14 to be St. Valentine's Day. Which St. Valentine this early pope intended to honor remains a mystery: according to the Catholic Encyclopedia, there were at least three early Christian saints by that name. One was a priest in Rome, another a bishop in Terni, and of a third St. Valentine almost nothing is known except that he met his end in Africa. Rather astonishingly, all three Valentines were said to have been martyred on Feb. 14.

Most scholars believe that the St. Valentine of the holiday was a priest who attracted the disfavor of Roman emperor Claudius II around 270. At this stage, the factual ends and the mythic begins.

According to one legend, Claudius II had prohibited marriage for young men, claiming that bachelors made better soldiers. Valentine continued to secretly perform marriage ceremonies but was eventually apprehended by the Romans and put to death. Another legend has it that Valentine, imprisoned by Claudius, fell in love with the daughter of his jailer. Before he was executed, he allegedly sent her a letter signed "from your Valentine." Probably the most plausible story surrounding St. Valentine is one not focused on Eros (passionate love) but on agape (Christian love): he was martyred for refusing to renounce his religion.

It was not until the 14th century that this Christian feast day became definitively associated with love; in 1381, Chaucer composed a poem in honor of the engagement between England's Richard II and Anne of Bohemia. As was the poetic tradition, Chaucer associated the occasion with a feast day. In "The Parliament of Fowls," the royal engagement, the mating season of birds, and St. Valentine's Day are linked: "For this was on St. Valentine's Date/When every Fowl cometh to choose his Mate."

Over the centuries, the holiday evolved, and by the 18th century, gift-giving and exchanging hand-made cards on Valentine's Day had become common in England. Hand-made valentine cards made of lace, ribbons, and featuring cupids and hearts eventually spread to the American colonies. The tradition of Valentine's cards did not become widespread in the United States, however, until the 1850s, when Esther A. Howard, a Mount Holyoke graduate and native of Worcester, Mass., began mass-producing them. Today, of course, the holiday has become a booming commercial success. 25% of all cards sent each year are valentines.

Clever Anagrams

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ELECTION RESULTS : When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS : When you rearrange the letters: ALAS ! NO MORE Z'S A DECIMAL POINT : When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Happy 60th Wedding Anniversary

Bill & Timmie Douglas

MOTORS LLC

Call 882 1165

1007 Ruritan Rd

Moron of the Month By: Jerry Lemons

Jane Fonda

Just some scattered comments about Hanoi Jane: Old left-wing radicals never die--they just smell that way.

Jane Fonda...Yes, folks, she's back; wearing her North Vietnamese helmet with her fist raised in the air. It's deja vu all over again..

The 1970s have returned with a vengeance.

Ask Jane what year it is; she's tell you it's 1972. Lost in space and time. Is there anything more pathetic than a 1970s left-wing radical still protesting?

But perhaps I'm being too hard on Miss Jane. After all, she was married to Roger Vadim, Tom Hayden and Ted Turner, and anyone married to those three would be a little bonkers.

"But I've changed," protests Miss Jane, "I'm not the same. I decided to become a Christian." You decided to become a Christian?

Excuse me, Hanoi Jane, but one doesn't "decide" to become a Christian. It doesn't work that way.

Miss Jane has written a book entitled Prime Time--Life After Seventy, and she's going around TV shows and bookstores hawking it. But it seems that Miss Jane is angry because she feels that certain people are cutting into the sales of her book by their malicious protests about her past.

The book Prime Time generally contains Miss Jane's reflections on life after seventy years of age. Some mind-boggling things we learn about Miss Jane are the facts that she takes male hormones, she enjoys watching porn films, and she includes a list of sex toys she especially likes.

Missing from the book are memories of Miss Jane's past-especially her trip to North Vietnam where she climbed upon a North Vietnamese antiaircraft gun and was all smiles as U.S. prisoners were being tortured in the very prison camp she had visited. A little sidenote: A U.S. prisoner managed to slip Miss Jane a written message. She promptly turned it over to the North Vietnamese-which led to the prisoner being tortured. But Hanoi Jane just kept smiling--and protesting. And she still is protesting...

No, Miss Jane, no. No matter what you do or say or how much you protest, your place, your name is set in concrete. You will always be known and referred to as Hanoi Jane. For the truth of the matter is this: You are a traitor; you committed treason. Your actions caused the torture of U.S. servicemen and even the deaths of some.

But you still wonder why so many detest you. You haven't got a clue, have you, Hanoi Jane?

Actually you should be thankful that you weren't imprisoned or even executed for being a traitor and committing treason.

But maybe I should give you a little slack, Miss Jane; for after all, you are a 1970s left-wing radical lost in space and time, and you were married to Ted Turner....

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Located 300 feet north of the red light at the intersection of Pine Ridge Rd & Ruritan Rd in So. Harriman

Sport Utilities Cars Trucks Equipment Carports Tractors Vans “Where Customers Send Their Friends”

Feb. 9th

13 The Roane Reader

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14 The Roane Reader

Rockwood Memories

By RAY COLLETT The Super Bowl is around the corner as I write this article. I guess the closest I ever came to seeing a Super Bowl was in 1957 when our Rockwood Tigers defeated the Jefferson City Elks , 7 to 6 in Rockwood's own Jaycee Bowl.

The victory was a fitting climax to the best season in ten years for a Rockwood team and fans, with much of the credit heaped on the shoulders of Coaches Tom Pemberton and Lawrence Baskin, since it was they who turned what started to be a losing season into one of the school's best. Defeating Jefferson City enabled Rockwood to keep its short win streak alive, halt the ten game streak of Jefferson City and add a touch of embarrassment to some odd-makers. Rumors around town a few days before the game indicated Jefferson City ticket sales were very slow because the people there felt the Jaycees could have picked a tougher opponent than Rockwood. Whatever the basis of the rumor, I am sure our coaches took advantage of it and used it to their physiological advantage.

I was in the U. S. Navy at the time, and had came home on a two week leave from schooling in Chicago and was really anxious to see our Tigers in the Jaycee Bowl. Jefferson City was undefeated and untied, and Rockwood lost its first two out of three games to Lenoir City and Soddy Daisy, but finished with an 8-2 record. The Elks were second in East Tn. in scoring and came into the game as a six point favorite.

Some 2300 damp but spirited fans braved the cold weather to watch the alert football played by the Tiger defenders. Rockwood intercepted two Jefferson City passes, pounced on two fumbles, all at critical stages of the game.

Rockwood scored first early in the second quarter after Harold Taylor had quick kicked 61 yards to the Elks two yard line. Three plays later, Tommy Brown, named the outstanding defensive player, latched onto a Jefferson City pass at the Elk 22, and two plays later, Harold Taylor hit Fritz Smith over the middle for the touchdown. Earl Keyes took a handoff and slanted outside his right end for what was to be the game winning point..

Rockwood dominated play in the first half, moving the ball downfield on their first possession, but a fumble halted the drive. The Elks threatened to score late in the second quarter, moving the ball down to the Rockwood 21, when Charles Monday recovered a fumble to end the threat and Rockwood ran out the clock at halftime.

The Elks came out in the second half with more determination than any team the Tigers had faced all season. They drove 56 yards to the Rockwood 18, but again fumbled with Cotton Mitchell recovering this one.

The next time though, the Elks would not be denied. They moved 73 yards in thirteen plays and scored, making the score 7-6. Lining up to run for the extra point, the quarterback attempted to go wide with an option play, but Tommy Brown moved in to drop him three yards shy of the all important extra point.

Jefferson City had one last chance with a little more than three minutes left in the game.

They picked up a first down moving to midfield where they decided time would not permit a running play, so they fired a " Hail Mary" pass. This time Harold Taylor intercepted near the 35 and returned it to the 44 and except for a slip he might have gone all the way.

Rockwood's big five Tommy Brown, Harold Taylor, Fritz Smith, Charlie McLoughlin and Bill Mitchell, played their usual brilliant game, but in the upset of the Elks, a few of the unsung heroes moved in for a share of the spotlight. Jack Thompson, played perhaps his best game of the season. Earl Keyes, who at the start of the season was a doubtful starter, gave his best performance both offensively and defensively. Fritz Smith, was lost most of the final quarter as was J.B. Billings. Also, Cotton Mitchell played nearly three quarters with a bursted blood vessel in his left arm.

That was one of the best games I ever witnessed..."Rockwood's Super Bowl". Rockwood went on play in Harriman's Shrine Bowl in 1970 beating Bledsoe Co. 28-20, and made four other bowl appearances in Rockwood and one in Clinton. The last one was the 1984 Jaycee Bowl in Clinton, where Rockwood defeated Knox Catholic 34-0. Rockwood wound up with a 9-1 record in bowl appearances. That is hard to beat.

Sports always have and always will have a great following in Tennessee, especially Rockwood. I hope this brings back some memories.....Ray This is an excerpt from Ray's book, Rockwood Memories. His latest book, "Rockwood Memories Vol.ll can be had by calling Ray at 354-7680, or can be purchased at "HOMEMADE" , the new arts, craft, soup and sandwich shop on Rockwood St. across from "Homecoming Park" in downtown Rockwood.

FEB. 2012

Your Duck is Dead--D-E-A-D!

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Happy Birthday Feb. 5th

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FEB. 2012

Fun & Facts for kids only

V���n���� ��n��e�

■ What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

"I love you a ton!"

■ What did the bat say to his girlfriend?

"You're fun to hang around with."

■ Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?

He fell in love with a pincushion!

■ What did the pencil say to the paper?

"I dot my i's on you!"

■ Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."

Jon: "Really?"

Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"

■ Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

■ Why do valentines have hearts on them?

Because spleens would look pretty gross!

■ Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?

Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!

■ Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love!

■ Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Howard.

Howard who?

Howard you like a great big kiss?

■ What did one light bulb say to the other?

"I love you a whole watt!"

■ What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses.

Tamke-Allan Observatory Center 334 Caney Creek Road Rockwood, TN. 37854-4604 Phone (865) 376-1362 - (865) 882-4591 Campus Director: David Fields - Send questions to David Fields Tamke-Allan Observatory hosts free Public Stargazes on the first and third Saturday evenings of each month. These stargazes have opened the night skies, free of charge to everyone, for almost 10 years. Amateur astronomers bring telescopes and binoculars and offer views of astronomical objects, while visitors are invited to bring their questions and cameras and meet the astronomers.

Directions from I-40 At the Midtown exit (350), go west on Highway 70 for 3.25 miles to Caney Creek Road (between Caney Ford Baptist Church and the Roane County Park).

Turn left on Caney Creek Road and go about 1/2 mile south, then turn right over the bridge (Watts Bar Lake). Continue straight ahead.

At the intersection of Caney Creek Road and Joiner Hollow Road, bear left and go 1000 ft south of the intersection.

On the left, is a TVA boat ramp sign and the Roane State Observatory sign. Follow that gravel road to the classroom and observatory at the top of the field.

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Happy Birthday

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15 The Roane Reader

PRESIDENT'S DAY I didn't know this!

When Abraham Lincoln became president and helped reshape our country, it was believed he, too, should have a special day of recognition. Tricky thing was that Lincoln’s birthday fell on February 12th. Prior to 1968, having two presidential birthdays so close together didn't seem to bother anyone. February 22nd was observed as a federal public holiday to honor the birthday of George Washington and February 12th was observed as a public holiday to honor Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.

In 1968, things changed when the 90th Congress was determined to create a uniform system of federal Monday holidays. They voted to shift three existing holidays (including Washington's Birthday) to Mondays. The law took effect in 1971, and as a result, Washington's Birthday holiday was changed to the third Monday in February. But not all Americans were happy with the new law. There was some concern that Washington's identity would be lost since the third Monday in February would never fall on his actual birthday. There was also an attempt to rename the public holiday "Presidents' Day", but the idea didn't go anywhere since some believed not all presidents deserved a special recognition.

Even though Congress had created a uniform federal holiday law, there was not a uniform holiday title agreement among the individual states. Some states, like California, Idaho, Tennessee and Texas chose not to retain the federal holiday title and renamed their state holiday "President's Day."

Hey Kids!!!

We want to see your best artwork.

Send us your drawings along with your name and age. We will put your pictures in The Roane Reader

Send them to 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748 or email to info@roanereader.com

16 The Roane Reader

The Major Threats to Your Retirement!

If you've been diligently saving over the years ... Washington is punishing you by keeping interest rates low and systematically destroying your retirement accounts.

If you've spent years’ religiously paying off your home ... the housing bust is obliterating one of your largest stores of wealth.

And if you've been listening to conventional advice and investing in stocks and bonds ... your portfolio has probably lost 30%, 40%, or even MUCH more when you factor in the rise in cost of everyday items. In short, these are some of the darkest days for savers and investors since the original Great Depression.

For many years, I've been warning advisors about all of these disasters-in-the-making.

Fortunately, they should have been able to help their client’s avoid much of the pain that is now wreaking havoc on most investors & savors. But today I see yet another series of looming threats that are getting brushed aside. They are every bit as dangerous as the previous crises I've been covering in my regular newspaper articles. They will most certainly affect us all. And in many ways they're being made worse by all of our country's other problems.

I'm talking about...

The Major Threats to Your Retirement!

Your ability to accumulate a nice, healthy nest egg can make or break your retirement dreams. Yet as I just mentioned retirement nest eggs around the world have been smashed to pieces. And, many of you are still in denial ... you think you're still okay, even if your investments don't recover for a while (or ever!).

Many are desperately counting on income from other areas - including pensions and Social Security. You may figure costs for your basic necessities can't go up much from here. And you are grossly underestimating just how quickly taxes could eat away at the money you do have left.

But unless you take swift, decisive action right now, you will end up falling far short of your retirement goals.

Just look at what's happening right now ...

Retirement Threat #1: Social Security and Medicare Teetering on the Brink of Destruction!

Compounding the problems. After all, fewer jobs mean less money getting paid into the system. Too bad Washington is so busy fighting other fires to care. In fact, their poor fiscal policies are only making MORE trouble for these programs!

Retirement Threat #2: Pensions Disappearing, and the Government Safety Net Is Full of Holes!

Embarrassed

FEB. 2012

A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful woman at the bar. After a long struggle with his shyness, he finally managed to walk over to her and asked her politely, "Um, would you mind if I give you company?" She made a furious face and yelled at the top of her lungs, "How dare you asked me to sleep with you tonight?" Everyone in the pub started staring at the man who was completely embarrassed. After a few minutes, woman walked over to him and apologized - "You see I am a student of psychology and studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. I am sorry but I was just doing my experiment!" The young man suddenly gave a loud yell, "What do you mean $200?"

Why do we need Leap Years?

Leap Years are needed to keep our calendar in alignment with the Earth's revolutions around the sun.

It takes the Earth approximately 365.242199 days (a tropical year) to circle once around the Sun. However, the Gregorian calendar has only 365 days in a year, so if we didn't add a day on February 29 nearly every 4 years, we would lose almost six hours off our calendar every year. After only 100 years, our calendar would be off by approximately 24 days!

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Two Things You Must Do to be a Successful Investor: Number One…. Don’t Lose Money!

Number Two…Don’t Ever Forget Number One!!

When I survey the health of corporate pensions, I see even more problems. Just consider the failure of a firm like General Motors and you'll see how many retirement dreams are getting crushed on a daily basis.

Retirement Threat #3: Taxes Only Set to Rise from Here!

You've heard it a million times before: Death and taxes are the only two sure things in life.

And at the rate that Washington is pumping money into our system, higher taxes may end up killing millions of retirement dreams!

Retirement Threat #4: The Costs of Health Care, Energy, and Food Could Skyrocket!

I don't have to tell you how costly day-to-day items have become. Food, health care, and energy are eating up more and more of your budget.

Fortunately, You Can Take Sound Steps to Protect the Nest Egg You Have Already Built, and to Rapidly Increase Your Future Retirement Savings!

Call: Kim Ezell or Bob Tonachio of Robert James & Associates, Inc. to arrange a free financial review They may be contacted at 376-4925 or

1-800-530-5700.

Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates a financial services firm licensed and regulated in 31 states. Residents of Roane County are invited to spend an hour with Bob to discuss their current concerns about low interest rates, high taxes and their plans for future income in retirement.

Call (865) 376-4925 or 1-800-530-5700 to take advantage of a free consultation concerning your past, present and future.

FEB. 2012

17 The Roane Reader

The Roane Reader proudly presents

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THE WRITER'S PAGE

Demons and dragons and monsters June of 1995 changed your life.

A baby as small as the world seems to be in your little hometown of Kingston, Tennessee.

Demons and dragons and monsters They are my fears, But have no chance, When you are here.

I don't want to be on my own To face the unknown.

For I am only 15, Too young to know anything, too old to be believed in.

Demons and dragons and monsters They are my fear, But have no chance, When you are here.

For as long as I've lived You've always been here To fight the nightmares and wipe away my tears.

Demons and dragons and monsters They are my fears, But have no chance, When you are here.

I said to you, "Oh, please be mine; Be mine forever, Valentine."

I must have seemed like quite a fool,

Although I thought I was being cool.

I swore that we would never part, As I put my hand upon my heart.

Had I been thinking with my head, I'd probably have fled instead.

Love and Death

Charles McCarroll (C.J. Moore) Love and death are not optional, but they are a privilege given to us by God. Death allows us to be with God in a better place.

Love lets us be happy here on earth, being around ones you love should be happy moments, not ones you regret.

After the ones you love are gone, allow yourself to excel every goal and exception you set, or others set for you.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

You're all I've ever known, My best friend from the start.

Everything I could ask for, Yes, you are my heart.

Demons and dragons and monsters They are all my fears, But have no chance, When you are here.

And now I can say, I'll take this world by storm!

I'll fly as high as the birds, if I'd like.

These willows will cry for me if I fail, But I know I will not, for I'll always have you.

Demons and dragons and monsters They are my fears, But have no chance, When you are here.

Valentine Hindsight

authors in the bible

About 40 different human authors contributed to the Bible, which was written over a period of about 1500 years. The authors were kings, fishermen, priests, government officials, farmers, shepherds, and doctors. From all this diversity comes an incredible unity, with common themes woven throughout.

The Bible’s unity is due to the fact that, ultimately, it has one Author—God Himself. The Bible is “God-breathed” (2 Timothy 3:16). The human authors wrote exactly what God wanted them to write, and the result was the perfect and holy Word of God (Psalm 12:6; 2 Peter 1:21).

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Flying fairies are your favorite.

I'd buy them all for you if I could.

Just as you would buy me the world, If it were in your reach.

Demons and dragons and monsters They are my fears, But have no chance, When you are here.

Written for my Mom, by: Hayley Lucinda Stanley

521 N. FRONT ST. ROCKWOOD, TN (865) 354-0600

18 The Roane Reader

FEB. 2012

Aquarius

Pisces

Well, some of you will en-counter love affairs with all the Gemini planets creating freedom of expression, a drive to set your own priorities, and a need for recreation, amusement and fun. It's also time to examine relations with child-re n.

They still need direction and schedules and chores even amidst a new stage of relationship. Focus on fun for everyone.

Past memories, events, homes, upbringing, family experiences reoccur allowing you to examine your role then and how it affects now. It's a time of psychological self-evaluation and growth. Who will affect you the most is family. You'll seek familiar surroundings while trying to build a solid base for your present activities. You draw upon deep wells of feeling and thought.

January 21-Febuary18 February 19-March 20

Cancer

June 22-July 23 You are to read a lot, write more, and play games that use your mind.

Do not play pranks on anyone. But then, I don't think you could since you wouldn't recognize one if played on you. Notice that tremendous mental energy is radiating from you. Stop a moment and listen awhile to robins who come out at night. Nothing's practical now. Or useful. Play.

Leo

July 24-August 22 Formal and informal groups, their values and ideals, intelligence and levels of love provided are significant to you now. Examining what role they play in your life, and your role with them brings about awareness of self-purpose and pleasure. Socialize with others while studying their behaviors.

Everything's a mirror. Hold yours up.

Aries

May 21-June 21

is month's emphasis concerns your mental processes. Each year this occurs. The soul ruler of Aries is Mercury. After you have completed the development of your personality (with Mars), you are led to develop your mind. It is your messenger. A few famous mentally developed Aries are Eric Clapton, Colin Powell, Thomas Jefferson, and Leonardo DaVinci.

t's resources again and again and again. You must communicate to someone about some things concerning your finances and resources.

Things not completed in these areas will soon feel like mountains being carried on your back. Tend to these quickly. Your home is counting on it.

During this time you are to be recharging yourself for the year to come. Tending to self is not a selfish act. It's an act of self-progression. The sun is penetrating your mind, body, and heart, sensitizing you to your needs. Are you assessing the values your heart needs to live by? This is a Venus (your soul ruler) question. You have till June 30th.

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Directing a project, having greater responsibility, and approaching all with appropriate knowledge are tasks given to Virgos at this time.

You need not be extra strong or overly competent. You simply need to allow your natural leadership to flow outward into the world of others. You don't need to pretend either. Tend to parents with joy.

There is a call within to broad-en your horizons. Perhaps this is a need to study, read, travel, and gain intellectual experience with new information and territories. Encounters with others will not be trivial.

You seek new understanding regarding spiritual and philosophical principles. Follow these threads, they will lead you inward and outward assessing relationships.

ow is your psychological health, has everything become subtler and do you feel more in touch with feelings and emotions? Observe how you communicate. The secret of Scorpio is that they must think and speak from the level of praise and recognition at all times in order to pass their discipleship tests. In this way you will bring forth harmony out of the chaos you create.

August 23-September 23 September 24-October23 October 24-November22

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Sagittarius

Capricorn

November 22-December 21

December 22-January

Relationships shift as you place yourself within a group focus that will nurture your mind and heart and shift the emphasis of your intentions. The New Moon casts it light into your house of groups and perhaps this journey will be the ultimate one. Sustenance follows if the mind is structured.

It's time to examine how you manage your life and work and what duties are required. All Caps have entered into a great big work temple with lots of tasks suspending personal and present needs.

Focus on effectiveness and joy. If children are involved, ask first what their needs are and refine your techniques and procedures. In this way you will derive satisfaction in work very well.

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19 The Roane Reader

FEB. 2012

Great use for solar lights!

Now, this is a great idea. How many people have probably never thought of bringing them inside when the power failed?

When your power goes off, don't scramble around in the darkness, looking for matches, candles, flashlights, etc..

Walk outside and get some of your solar lights out of the yard.

You can stuck the solar light pipes into plastic drink bottles containers and they make the nicest, brightest, safest, lighting you could ever imagine.

Put one in the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, etc.

They make plenty of light. There are all types of solar lights available.

The lights fit into the small (20 oz.) water bottles and into most of the larger liter bottles. If you need a weight in the plastic bottle to keep them from tipping over, you can put a few of the pretty colorful "flat marbles" that they put in aquariums, and vases. (you can also use sand, aquarium gravel, etc., whatever you have available).

The lights will be perfect inside your home. They burn all night long if you need them.

The next day, you just take your solar lights back outside and they will instantly recharge and be ready for you to use again any time you need them. Perfect for power outages, hurricanes, etc..

All Furniture on Sale during the month of February!!

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What is the main ingredient of WD-40 ?

Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is? Don't lie and don't cheat. WD-40. Who knew; I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason).

I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news. He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do.... probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open. Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck. I'm impressed! WD-40 -who knew? 'Water Displacement #40'. The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'water displacement' compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you... When you read the 'shower door' part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your stove top ...Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

WD-40 uses: 1. Protects silver from tarnishing.

2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.

3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.

4. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.

5. Keeps flies off cows.

6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.

7. Removes lipstick stains.

8. Loosens stubborn zippers.

9. Untangles jewelry chains.

10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.

11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.

12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.

13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.

14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.

15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.

16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.

17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.

18. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

19. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed! Use WD-40!

20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.

21. Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.

22. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open..

23. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.

24. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.

25. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.

26. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.

27. Removes splattered grease on stove.

28. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.

29. Removes all traces of duct tape.

30. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.

31. Florida's favorite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'

32. The favorite use in the state of New York , WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.

33. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time.

Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.

34. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.

35. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.

36. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!

37. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.

P.S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

gifts and accessories OAK E RIDGE, TENNESSE

Come see Vera Bradley's new spring patterns!

Many styles and patterns to choose from! w Ne rivalse for

Arst in tim nes ju

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nti

(A gallery located inside The Ferrell Shop) 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, TN (865) 483-0961

EXPERIENCE REAL SAVINGS on EXPERT SERVICE

Stretch More Miles Between Fill Ups! Quicker Starts

Increased Fuel Mileage Improved Performance

If you are having problems with increased fuel consumption, starting issues or loss of power.

Stop in for our entire Fuel Injector cleaning service.

Only $99.95

Certified Service

When it comes to service work, get your next en' at Service Hours: Mon. - Fri. 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.

Sat. 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m.

(Express Lube only)

WE ACCEPT:

269 S. ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN 865-882-2416

YOUR RENTAL PLACE FOR Cars, Mini Vans, 12-passenger vans

SEXTON AUTOMOTIVE GROUP CADILLAC + CHEVROLET + BUICK + GMC TRUCKS

269 S. ROANE ST. 865-882-0833

www.sextonautos.com

HARRIMAN, TN

800-688-0833