JUST DREAM November 2020

JUST DREAM A Literary Magazine November 2020 / Volume 3

The Importance of

Holiday Traditions A Little Extra Motivation | Pg. 4 Keep Your Holiday Cheer | Pg. 9 Spirituality During the Holidays | Pg. 18

JUST DREAM Copyright Š 2020 by Marquita Antoineå All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

In This Issue...

Permanent Fixtures A Letter From the Editor - Marquita Antoineá 3 A Little Extra Motivation - Marquita Antoineá 4 Black Business Broadcast - Get at the Gloss Cosmetics 5 Talk to Kita Interview Series - Marquita Antoineá 25 Meet the Authors - Author Biographies 36 Support Black Business - Black-Owned Business Ads 41

Holiday-Related Articles Keep Your Holiday Cheer - Talecia Izlar 9 A New Holiday Normal - Brigetta Weatherington 12 Dealing with Grief During the Holidays - Marquita Antoineá 15 Spirituality During the Holidays - Benita Henderson 18 My Favorite Holiday Traditions - Jorgia Jackson 29 Don’t Blink too Long - Marquita Antoineá 32

Extras Holiday Traditions - Marquita Antoineá 14 As I Am But Better - Marquita Antoineá 23 New Year’s Revolution - Marquita Antoineá 30

A Letter from the Editor Happiness is the open-minded acceptance of your past history while bridging the gap between past and present circumstances in an effort to create a more pleasant future.

Welcome back to all of our loyal readers! You know what they say, “Third time’s a charm!” I am so very thankful to all of you who continue to support me and my dreams. More than that, I am beyond grateful for growth, both personally and professionally. Personally, I have learned to process emotions better. For those that know me on a personal level, this growth is huge. Professionally, I am extremely excited about the potential of Just Dream and all there is to come. We are just getting started!

This issue is particularly important to me because the holiday season is my favorite time of year. Growing up, I can remember all the little details surrounding the holidays from the smell of the live Christmas tree to the sound of Christmas carols playing on the boom box in the kitchen or family room. And don’t even mention Thanksgiving, lol!

The aroma of the food itself is enough to evoke feelings of childhood nostalgia. But for me, it’s bigger than the smells, the tastes, the sounds. For me, the holidays are about family - both given and chosen. And my family is amazing! God saw fit to place me in a family with some of the hardest-working, most uplifting people, and I am eternally grateful.

It is with my deepest sincerity that I thank every one of the contributors in this powerful issue of Just Dream Literary Magazine! To all of our readers, prepare to be amazed by the different stories and various points of view all dedicated to Holiday Traditions! Share the love, peace, and joy! And remember to smile, even if just a little.

Marquita Antoineá

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Just because everybody needs

A Little Extra MOTIVATION Smile. Just Because. Smile. Not because everything in your life is the way you want it. Not because you are content with your job. Not because you are happy with your living situation. Not because you have the perfect marriage or relationship. Not because you are doing well in school or getting promotions at work. Smile. Just Because!

Smile because God saw fit to wake you up this morning. Smile because you have another chance to get it right. Smile because you are eternally grateful for each breath you take (especially since some loved ones will never get that chance again). Smile because you are blessed by the most high. Smile because you could change someone else's life. Smile because it will show others that all is well. Smile so others can see your light and want to do better for themselves. Smile to show your faith in God in the midst of whatever may be going on. Smile. Just Because!

Smile because you never know how powerful a simple smile can be. It could make someone's day. It could give a suicidal person a tiny glimmer of hope that life is, in fact, worth living. Most importantly, it could bring people closer to God because you are representing His love through your smile. Positivity is contagious...pay it forward! Smile. Just Because!

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JUST DREAM PRESENTS

Black Business Broadcast Highlighting Black Excellence in the Community

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Meet Kameryn Clark Kameryn the Tech

Title: Owner and CEO Age:21 Website: www.kamerynthetech.com Email: Kamerynthetech@gmail.com Phone: (571) 406 - 5736

Kameryn Clark is a certified eye lash technician who prides herself on excellent customer service. She does a great job giving her clients instructions on how to care for the lashes a young, BLACK female, she is looking forward to sharing her craft with others by teaching classes.

What prompted you to start the business?

I didn’t really expect my business to be what it was, I dropped out of college and knew I wanted to be in the beauty industry but I didn’t know which field to take.

After I took my lash class I just decided to go full throttle and see where it takes me. So I guess dropping out of college really motivated me to start my business.

How long have you been in business?

I have been a Certified Lash Tech for a year and 5 months.

How does it feel being a young, black, female business owner?

I absolutely love what I do, and I love the fact that I created my business when I was young so I can really blossom into what I fully want to be. I love being a black owned business as well because I hold myself to a higher standard so the black community as a whole can have a better rep in the beauty industry.

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On behalf of The Just Dream Foundation...

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK, Kameryn!

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"I really want to go outside, but my anxiety won't let me."

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, anxiety is "an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate) by doubt concerning the reality and nature if the treat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it."

If you can relate to this statement, it may be a good idea to find someone to talk to. Perhaps you can talk to a therapist, a close friend or family member, or even me! Don't be afraid to reach out.

Email marquitaantoinea@gmail.com to be connected to someone.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 7

Keep Your Holiday Cheer: A Therapist’s Guided to Fighting Seasonal Depression

Written by Talecia Izlar, LCPC Owner of Guided Journeys, LLC Lanham, MD 9

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!!!!” Is it?

As an intern at a drug and alcohol treatment center, that was our busiest time with patients.

As a therapist for my private practice, I also notice an influx in referrals and particularly, with complaints of depression.

Why would a holiday that is meant to celebrate and spread cheer and joy have a link to depression?

Financial stress: The financial expectation of buying gifts for loved ones can be stressful! If you have kids or a partner, you may be under a large amount of pressure to give them an expensive gift as a reflection of your love for them. Additionally, you may host or be invited to parties and gatherings that can add on to the financial strain, with having to bring food items, alcohol, and even sometimes, Secret Santa gifts.

Christmas is rarely “in the budget” and can lead to overlooking bills and other important financial responsibilities. With this in mind, please do not allow the societal pressure to force you into spending above your means! As difficult as this may be due to possibly feeling you are letting your loved ones down, your mental health and being able to prevent or reduce feelings of depression will spread more cheer and joy than any gift you can buy! If the spirit moves you, try to find cost-effective and creative ways to spend the holidays! Good pictures and great memories are oftentimes, FREE! Increased drug and alcohol use: During the holidays, there is a rise in using drugs and alcohol. Longing for happiness/societal acceptance can increase use. On the other hand, alcohol and drugs can be an unhealthy coping skill that individuals use to fight anxiety and depression. We often forget that alcohol IS a depressant and is counterproductive to fighting feelings of depression. Please engage in healthy coping skills such as meditation, journaling, and physical activity. Keep yourself busy with healthy activities and hobbies!

Additionally, if you have ever felt like you have had issues with drugs or alcohol, you can visit local Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings, which are free and accessible to all.

Trauma: As a trauma-informed therapist, I have found that during the holidays, it can often bring back memories of past trauma.

Family is home more from holiday breaks and vacation. Oftentimes, in cases of domestic violence, physical abuse, or sexual abuse, it can increase during holidays because there is more drug or alcohol use. Additionally, people often visit more distant family members during holidays, which can also expose them to trauma. What about in cases where a family member from past or present sexually assaulted you? You may have to interact with that person or see them during holiday events. Imagine how triggering that can be!

I suggest that you plan for holidays in advance, if you notice that you feel more depressed during this time. Holidays have a large opportunity for volunteerism, which can also help to fight depression. Increase positive activities and coping skills that help to improve your mood! Do not hesitate to reach out for therapy or to increase sessions with your current therapist to have an extra layer of support!

If you have questions about this article or want to reach the author, please contact guidedjourneysllc@gmail.com.

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Overcoming Seasonal Depression

1. Pay close attention to your mental health at all times throughout the year, but especially in the winter months when days are shorter and nights are longer.

2. The support of family, both given and chosen, can be the difference between feeling loved and wanted or abandoned. Reach out to your loved ones. Often!

3. Be positive and surround yourself with positive people. Positivity is contagious!

4. Finding a mentor can be a great way to help you navigate life - the dark days in particular. If you need a mentor email justdreamfoundation@yahoo.com.

5. Participate in healthy activities such as daily exercise and social activities with family and friends (at a healthy distance of course đ&#x;˜‰).

6. Life sometimes shows us that the more generous we are to others, the more likely we are to receive generosity in return. Of course, there will be times when our generosity won’t be reciprocated. However, in those times, we must rise above and be generous anyway.

7. The holiday season is a great time for reconfirming your spiritual beliefs. Holding onto the belief in a higher power provides hope and shines light in the darkness.

8. Take care of your physical health. Go to the doctor regularly. Eat right and exercise. Protect your body. There’s a strong correlation between physical health and mental health. Pay attention to your body’s natural signals.

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A

Holiday

Written By: Brigetta Weatherington Dance Fitness Instructor 12

While many look forward to the annual tradition of uniting with family and friends and partaking in celebratory rituals, there is an often-forgotten population who dreads the holidays, what it brings, and the memories it re-births. It is assumed that family holiday traditions are essential to the seasons of life and happiness. But what does one do with these when the family is gone and all that is left is the silence? What happens when the memories of traditions are no longer pleasant, and the pain of the memories send us into the pits of despair?

Whether you are no longer in communication with family or you are now disconnected from a spouse or kids, transitioning from a full and colorful holiday season to one of solitude or sadness can be paralyzing. However, if life has disconnected you from healthy family connections, you can still enjoy the holiday delight.

The holiday season is the one time of the year where we can usually expect something similar to the previous year. It has less uncertainty than our everyday lives, and so family holiday traditions ease the anxiety of the everyday unknown in life. It is a familiar time with a predictable scene because we know what and who to expect mostly. Once there is a change in this routine, anxiety can arise and present itself as insomnia, anger, or even physical pain.

Traditions also provide us with an identity within a group which provides a feeling of belonging.

But traditions are not limited to family ties. We all have the ability to create new identities within the groups of our choosing. Holidays can be spent with people who share your hobbies, professional associations, sorority or fraternity membership, or even your emotional holiday challenges. Linking up with others who may be on the same journey as you can ease the pain of the season and assist you in finding your new “happy�.

Fundamentally, humans have a natural desire to belong and as a result, it decreases loneliness, isolation and increases our meaning and purpose. Traditions connect us to our history and create unity within the family structure, tying us to those we love. So, what do we do when a loved one passes from this earth and the meaning of holidays, traditions, and celebrations gets lost in the grief? We create new meaning. It is at this point where we decide what the ideal holiday season would look like for us, in this new normal. Your new normal holiday season may look like peace, festivity, reunion, or all of the above.

Traditional holiday rituals often appeal to our senses. If someone were to mention holiday bells and sweet potato pie, your mind would be able to call on memories to bring those senses to the present. Using your 5 senses as a starting point to create new memories would be helpful because of the brain regions and how memories and senses interact. Some activities would include cooking, walking with nature, walking barefoot on the beach, listening to the waves of the ocean, painting, or going to a concert. Going forward, your mind will remember the smells and sounds associated with the holidays as pleasant memories created through your newly found hobbies. Instead of anticipating disaster this holiday season, anticipate the joy you can 13 create. Be creative and make use of all the connections you have in this great, big world.

Holiday Traditions

Growing up I remember so many different traditions during the holidays. People from both sides of my family would come together every single holiday to eat, drink, laugh, and have so much fun. And then something bad happened. Pop-Pop (my paternal grandfather) died. Then Grandma suggested that we remain on track and remember who we were. Remember how important family was. And tradition slowly began to pick back up. Then another bad thing happened. Grandma (my paternal grandmother) died. And it seemed that tradition stopped almost all together. The rest of us desperately want to allow our children to grow up in a close-knit family like we did. So, we’re slowly trying to bring tradition alive again. Only it’s not so easy during the days of COVID-19. It seems as if one thing after another tries to get in the way of tradition.

My hope is that in the coming days, weeks, months, and years this family grows as close as humanly possible. I hope we reach the greatest capacity of love by coming together on a regular basis, raising brilliant black children with similar values, including love, respect, honor, dignity, self-respect, and of course, the subjectivity of success. When so many of us gave birth within 2012, their meaning became so clear to me. These are the leaders of the next generation, and we must treat them in a way where they will understand the importance of family. They will understand the importance of loyalty. They will understand that it is unacceptable to hate. They will understand the importance of love.

I’m calling out my entire family – both given and chosen. Let’s start making great new family memories and traditions for our children to pass to their children!

Let's bring back strong, healthy, HAPPY BLACK FAMILIES!!!

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Dealing with Grief During the Holidays

Written By: Marquita Antoineรก Author and Mentor 15

The world in which we live today seems to be filled with so much negative energy. We are in the middle of an economic crisis, a global pandemic, and an election time, no less. And as if that’s not enough, the color of our skin still seems to get in the way of civility for so many people.

There are five distinct stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Even though everyone doesn’t go through each of the stages in the exact order, these stages are pretty concrete. How might this look for a person who loses someone close to the holidays? Glad you asked!

Denial: “This must be a dream. We can’t have Christmas without her.”

Anger: “I refuse to understand why bad things happen to good people. And this close to Christmas? It will NEVER be the same.”

Bargaining: “God, I will get my life together if you don’t take anyone else from me.”

Depression: “I just want to be alone. I’m not celebrating this year.”

Acceptance: “I’m going to move forward. This year, I will get everyone to tell me their favorite happy memory of her.”

Unfortunately, due to COVID-19, so many people will be spending their first holiday season without a loved one - multiple loved ones in many cases. In these times, it becomes even more important for us to remember to process our grief in a positive way. Below are a few tips on how best to do that.

1. Pay attention to the signs. Whether it’s you grieving or someone else, there are certain very recognizable signs that the grief process is underway. Much like depression, the signs include sadness, anger, being withdrawn, being overly quiet, crying, etc. If you, or someone you know, has recently lost someone, reach out the moment you notice the signs. It could mean the difference between overcoming the grief and succumbing to it.

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2. . Remember that everyone handles grief differently. Just because one person may get through the grieving process in a month doesn’t mean that another person is wrong for taking a year to get through the same process.

3. Allow yourself time to complete the stages of grief. Grief is not something that can happen overnight. Don’t rush it. Be patient.

4. Seek therapy. There are times when you just have to realize that it’s okay to NOT be okay. Sometimes, we need to admit to ourselves that we need to seek extra help or guidance with coping mechanisms. Don’t be afraid. Ask for help!

5. Don’t be afraid to talk about it. Sometimes, just getting your feelings out can make you feel a little better. Find someone close that you know will listen and provide sound advice. Talk to a family member, close friend, pastor, life coach, mentor, or other trusted person. Just talk to someone!

6. Choose to remember the good memories with the loved one. Focusing on the person’s absence will only prolong the healing process while highlighting the pain.

Instead, focus on celebrating the person’s life and accomplishments.

7. Think about the person often. By doing so, I believe that you subconsciously invite them to visit you in your dreams. Imagine the joy you will feel to be able to have a conversation with them again.

Of course, this list is not exhaustive. However, using these techniques and tips can help you to more positively deal with grief and loss. It is my sincere hope that each of you reading this article make it through this holiday season with love in your heart and a smile on your face (even if it does have to be behind a mask).

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Spirituality During the Holidays

Written by Benita Henderson Author of "From the Depths of My Soul" 18

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV The period of time from Thanksgiving until the New Year is that wonderful, busy, stressful time of year, but it is also an amazing time. The holiday season is a time of waiting and expectation; a season of quiet anticipation and preparation; a season of gratitude, love, yearning, truth, and peace; a season of hope; and a time to emphasize preparation through prayer. For many of us, the excitement and joy of the holidays may feel like the most wonderful time of the year. Many of us know all too well how the hustle and bustle of the holiday season can rob us of the very thing it is intended to celebrate. I mean, of course, the craziness of this time of year can deplete us spiritually and leave us missing our intentional time with God. All too often, we turn the gift of this season into a source of frenzy, stress, anxiety, and overspending; a time when we prepare for a celebration that looks perfect on the outside. We sometimes become spiritually exhausted in the process, and, in turn, we celebrate without acknowledging the true meaning. We must return to that inherent quest for quiet expectation and hope. Let us embrace a more peaceful, prayerful disposition that makes us more open to a conversion of heart and give us the courage to let go of things that are ultimately unimportant to the true meaning of the holiday season.

A Time of Thanksgiving “Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name.” Psalm 100:4 NIV We start our holiday season with gratitude; we call it Thanksgiving Day. While it holds historical significance, the general theme is that this is a day set aside for us to reflect beyond our selfish needs

and turn our attention to God and what he has done in our lives by enjoying a day of celebration, rest, and refocusing on the spiritual tone of the day. This is a day set aside each year to remember all that we are thankful for, this is the way we should strive to live every day. No matter what our circumstances are, there is always something to be grateful for.

When we think about it, we receive blessings every day when we open our eyes and are given another day to live - another day to make a difference – another day to honor God. As we enter the holiday season, we are reminded that every breath we take is a gift and something we should never take for granted.

It is a time to gather with family, enjoy good food, be grateful for all that we have, and appreciate life. On this special day, we are reminded to be thankful for all the blessings in our lives. While each year brings with it its share of joy, sadness, loss, and gain, we have a deep appreciation for the love we share. A thankful heart is a grateful heart. A person who gives thanks has earned the right to receive more. It’s the time of the year to pause and reflect on all the blessings in our lives and give thanks for them. It’s Thanksgiving, a day to be grateful for the gift of life, family, and friends. A day to be grateful for the bountiful harvest of the year and be thankful for the ones to come.

A time to think about the goodness in our lives and forget about the worries or troubles that each of us had in the past year. Let us think of the incredible moments of laughter, love, hope, and joy, being grateful to each other and life for providing us with excitement and fun. Life is not always easy, taking each of us by surprise in the most uncomfortable circumstances, and the most unfortunate times. However, we do need to value each moment for the possibilities that are offered and memories shared with the people we care for and love.

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Give thanks for all that God has given us.

Although our lives should always reveal the character, love, and spirit of Christ that dwells within us, during the holiday season we must allow these traits to shine through our actions. Somehow, we have managed to remove true gratitude as we celebrate Thanksgiving Day and the true spirit of Christmas. As we as a nation have become more secular, spiritual values have been tossed out the window. Money and materialism have become our god and what we worship. Over the years, we have suffered moral meltdowns.

As the seasons change and there are loads of transitions, change is real, no matter what ‘season’ of life you’re in, and the holidays bring challenges to allof us. If you are anything like me and you are naturally a performer or achiever personality type, then you may feel shame and guilt if you can’t stick to your daily Bible reading routine or spend a certain amount of devotional time each day. I honestly get it. That is why I struggle with the change that occurs during the holidays. But this is also the reason that I must remind myself daily what this season is truly all about.

A Time of Waiting and Expectation “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:6 Our expectations of Jesus shape our encounters with Jesus which ultimately determine how we experience Jesus. Therefore, our expectations must be aligned by God’s word and driven by God’s glory. During this holiday season, let our waiting with a glorious expectation lead us to encounter Jesus more deeply and intimately than we have ever before. The holiday season is a season of waiting and a season of

expectation. We are called to carry the same anticipation for the coming of Jesus that the world had before his birth over 2000 years ago.

Expectation requires us to truly have faith that God is doing something great and wonderful for each of His believers. It is always difficult to discern the ways God is working in the world. But consider it wisdom, and accept it, to know that God is working beyond what our imaginations or expectations can perceive. We must change what we expect, and open ourselves to the fact that Christ demands something so much bigger, better, and more important than anything we've ever done during this busy holiday season.

A Season of Quiet Anticipation and Preparation “But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me.” Micah 7:7 NASB The focus of this season is the anticipation and preparation of the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. It is celebrating the truth about God, the revelation of God in Christ whereby all of creation might be reconciled to God. That is a process in which we now participate, and the consummation of which we anticipate. This season is marked by a spirit of expectation, of anticipation, of preparation, of longing. We have a yearning for deliverance from the evils of the world. It is the cry of those who have experienced the tyranny of injustice in a world under the curse of sin, and yet who have hope for deliverance by a God who has heard the cries of oppressed, enslaved people and brought deliverance! Part of our expectation also anticipates a judgment on sin and a calling of the world to accountability before God. We long for God to come and set the world right! This season is a time of preparation that is marked by prayer; prayers of humble devotion and commitment, prayers of submission, prayers for deliverance, and prayers anticipating a great light!

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A Season of Hope “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”

Hebrews 10:23 Jesus came to bring a message of hope. The holiday season inspires hope. The symbols and stories surrounding the season whisper into my ear, “Don’t give up. Keep going.” There are lessons of hope that fill me with optimism.

A hope that God will continue to work in this world, transforming our lives, calling us to repentance, and blessing the faithful. It is that hope, however faint at times, and that God, however distant He sometimes seems, brings to the world the anticipation of a King who will rule with truth and justice and righteousness over His people and in His creation. It is that hope that once anticipated, and now anticipates anew, the reign of an Anointed One, a Messiah, who brings peace and justice and righteousness to the world.

A Time to Emphasize Preparation through Prayer “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.” Matthew 6:6 It’s easy to get caught up in all the commercial aspects of the holiday season, but the real reason for the season is celebrating Jesus’ birth and life. In declaring Himself to be the Light of the World, Jesus was claiming that He is the exclusive source of spiritual light. No other source of spiritual truth is available to humankind. When Jesus Christ was delivered into this world, He took out darkness. Let us reflect on Jesus as a powerful light during the holiday season. Staying calm and peaceful is hard at the best of times, but during the busy holiday season, it can sometimes feel impossible. The mix of high expectations, financial pressure, and family tension puts even the calmest person under strain. We must find inner peace and this can only be found through Jesus.

So Lord, open our hearts to receive your life and increase our vision with the rising of dawn that our lives may be filled with your glory and peace. Let us be like the Wise Men who were guided to Jesus by a star. Give us the wisdom to seek the Lord, a light to guide us to the Lord, courage to search until we find the Lord, and generosity to lay our gifts before the Lord.

Christmas “But the angel said to them, do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”

Luke 2:10-11

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our The Christmas season is a powerful and unique time of year to remember that Jesus came to make a way for us to become closer to God, His father. In his life, death, and resurrection, Jesus built a bridge between us and God allowing us to have continual, unhindered communion with our Creator. But God can't force us into nearness with him. Even as believers filled with the Holy Spirit, we can choose to live as if God is still far off. So, this Christmas season, let us open our hearts to the living God and experience the fullness of joy in His loving presence.

When I was younger, gifts were simple and did not seem to be as important as the family with which we shared them. I remember gifts being simple and thoughtful. Now, Christmas has turned into a series of ‘Black Fridays’, with stores full of people shoving each other, cash-strapped adults overcharging and overspending to "keep up with the Joneses." The emphasis on extravagant giving to satisfy the wants or demands of spoiled children does not give parents what we want. The children get a feeling of spontaneous, momentary bliss when they need the inner gifts of peace, love, and purpose that can come from spiritual blessing.

Taking Jesus Christ out of Christmas, we lose the very lessons our culture needs. Christ was born in a stable surrounded by the smell of sheep because the shopkeepers did not make room for him in their inns. His birth tells us that greatness is measured by neither status nor wealth, but by divine purpose, and that no matter how slowly our lives begin, they can have a miraculous ending.

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With all the hustle and bustle, it can be hard to keep the focus on the birth of the Savior and the blessings that Christ brings to our lives. It’s so easy to get caught up in the chaos of Christmas with presents to buy and wrap, cards to make and send, lights to hang, and goodies to make. It’s just easy to forget the real reason for the season.

So, as we enter this holiday season, my prayer is that we all remember the reason for the season. Let us embrace the true spirit of the season and allow joy, peace, freedom, prosperity, and hope, to fill our hearts.

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As I Am...But Better!

Growing up, I always had trouble with the concept of "acceptance". I had trouble with feeling as if I was accepted by others, but more importantly, I had trouble accepting myself. Now that I am older and wiser, I realize that this problem reflects my lack of self-confidence. Self- confidence is so essential to a life free of fear, which is how I am trying to live. Even further, having a lack of self-confidence demonstrates a lack of faith. Don't see the connection? Let me show you.

God has created each one of us perfectly and wonderfully. We are to trust that God does not make mistakes. When you question yourself or second guess yourself (your abilities, your physical appearance, your mental capacity, your physical strength, etc.), you are indirectly questioning God. If we truly have faith in God the Almighty, we will wholeheartedly believe that He has already equipped us with everything that we need to succeed in every aspect of our lives. We will not feel inadequate in any way, and will therefore have extreme confidence in ourselves AND in our circumstances. Now, let's not confuse self-confidence with conceit because being conceited or vain is a sin (but that's a topic for another day). We must be confident enough that we completely trust God's plan for our lives, and that includes the positive, the negative and everything in between.

So, while I am lacking right now in self-confidence, I know deep down that God has already paved the way and that HE MAKES NO MISTAKES. I will choose to believe that I am perfect in His eyes. I will no longer allow confidence to be a deterrent that hinders me from shooting for the stars in my life. Instead, I will hold my head up high, grab the bull by the horns, and follow the path that God has laid for me without reservation. In other words, I will be the “me� that God has called me to be, but BETTER with respect to the way I choose to live my life.

My prayer today is that I will become more confident in myself through strengthening my walk with God. I pray that my faith in Him will be reflected in my thoughts and my actions, and that others will be able to see Him through me. Amen.

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All my life, family has been one of the most important things to me – especially during the holiday season. I grew up with many traditions, and just about every single one of them was centered around family. Because of this, I have tried my absolute best to make sure that my children will have some fun traditions to pass down to their children and grandchildren. I want to spend time creating memories that will last a lifetime.

These two have been as “thick as thieves” since the beginning of time. My daughter Kaiyah (pictured below on the left) is now a 16-year-old high school junior at Bowie High School in Bowie, Maryland. Her right-hand-woman, my niece Mikayla, is a 15-year-old high school sophomore at Eleanor Roosevelt High School. Watching these two little girls grow into beautiful young ladies has been nothing but a pleasure. They are both polite, well-mannered, and have no problem telling it like it is. So, I thought it would be fun to have a candid conversation with them about their favorite holiday traditions. Let’s take a look at the conversation.

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Kita: Hi Kaiyah!

Kaiyah: Hi, mommy.

Kita: So, what’s your absolute favorite holiday tradition?

Kaiyah: My favorite holiday tradition is on Thanksgiving when all of my family comes together.

Kita: Why on Thanksgiving? What about Thanksgiving makes it the best?

Kaiyah: Because it’s the holiday when all my family comes together.

Kita: Okay. What about you Mikayla?

Mikayla: I was going to say the same thing, but I guess all Christmas because you get to see all your family especially the people you don’t see everyday.

Kita: Okay, that’s good. Are there any traditions that you have now that you think you would pass down to your children, IF you ever decide to have children? Mikayla?

Mikayla: Yes, I’m very family-oriented so I would just have them around family and do different events with each other on holidays and stuff like that to keep that going.

Kita: Okay. What about you Kaiyah?

Kaiyah: Yes, I would pass down the Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions where they make sure they stay close to their family and they get together with them all the time, you know?

Kita: Yes, I know. So, let’s talk about new year’s resolutions. Do you have any resolutions for this upcoming year, Kaiyah?

Kaiyah: I haven’t really thought about that yet.Kita: Okay, no problem. What about you Mikayla?

Mikayla: I haven’t really thought about it yet either, but I guess regarding school, trying to do better on tests. Regarding my personal life, maybe perfect my craft of doing makeup.Kita: Okay. That was a good answer.

Kaiyah: Yeah. I want to stay on top of everything with school, better manage my time.Kita: Okay. Anything else?

Kaiyah and Mikayla: Nope.

Kita: Okay. Thanks ladies. It’s been fun!

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V You're probably wondering why I said revolutions instead of resolutions and I will tell you why. Every year I make countless New Year’s resolutions. I vow to lose weight. I vow to exercise. I vow to pray more. I vow to spend more time at church. I vow to eliminate all the evil and negativity out of my life. And every year without fail, I don't come through on these promises to myself. I may stay on track for the first few weeks or even first few months, and then fall off. Well, I believe that I am correct in saying I am not alone in this struggle. Is it because our goals are too hard, or do we lack self- control? Is it because we don't really want the changes to occur, or are we too lazy to follow through? I don't know what your reasons are for continuously making pointless resolutions. But here’s mine: making New Year’s resolutions makes me feel good in the moment. For just an instance, I can see the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel.

They make me feel like I will really do something different this time around just because I said something different out of my mouth. New Year, new me and all that nonsense.

Blah, blah, blah.

But I challenge you to put an end to the empty promises. No more resolutions. Change that S to a V and start a revolution! A revolution is a drastic change, not a promise. In fact, if I may combine two definitions found in Webster's Dictionary, a revolution is a forcible movement causing an instance of revolving. In other words, don't make blank promises to yourself. Forcibly move yourself to want to change from within. Write things down. Ask someone to hold you accountable. Whatever it takes to really make the change! So from now on, I am revolving to a new and improved state of mind. I will take control over my mind and in turn, I will regain control over my life. My mind, body, and soul will finally be on one accord and every aspect of my life will be better as a result. And if I lose people on the way, so be it! What a difference one letter can make!!!

-Marquita Antoineá 28

Written By: Jorgia Jackson Childcare/Author 29

Delicious food, amazing people, and endless celebrations happen all around the world during the holiday season. Growing up in a huge family, every holiday was spent surrounded by love, family, and a whole lot of holiday spirit. The holiday season is a big deal in my household because it is based around our family traditions; and being the oldest of seven, it was my job to make sure everyone was following along. I don't ever remember there ever being a year where we didn't celebrate. And when I say celebrate, I mean celebrate BIG! Each holiday has a different meaning for us.

Halloween is a time for fun and creative expression. On Thanksgiving, we all gather around for a hot meal and just enjoy each other's company while explaining what we are thankful for that year. Christmas is a personal favorite of mine because of the traditions that take place every year. We start off on Christmas eve, where we all come down to decorate the tree. Laughter echoes around the room as “Santa Claus is Coming to Town� by the Jackson 5 plays in the background; my mom has chosen red and gold for the tree decorations. Everyone is wearing their matching Christmas pajamas and fighting over which ornaments go where, but we all couldn't be happier.

As a child, I never understood why my mother made decorating the tree a family affair. But as I grew older, I realized she

was instilling in us the importance of family. It allowed us to have a sense of belonging and positive memories to look back on. Every Christmas, I look forward to these moments with my family and being able to create new memories.

My favorite tradition for Christmas is when we go to a local shelter and feed the homeless. This tradition has been going on long before I was born, and it is the one that I am most proud of. My late-great uncle started this tradition because he wanted to share the Christmas spirit with those who were less fortunate than him. When I turned 13, my grandfather finally took my sister and I along to the shelter with him. I then realized how much I truly took for granted.

There are so many people who no longer have family to look after them and make sure that they are loved. Not only do my family and I look forward to giving back to others every year, so do the people we are helping. We've had so many people thank us and tell us how much it means to them to have a hot meal on Christmas day. Traditions are supposed to teach us life lessons about the importance of family and give us something to look forward to every year. And that's exactly what mine do.

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Don't Blink Too Long Parenting Tips About Raising Productive Members of Society

Written by: Marquita Antoineรก Author and Mother 32

As we approach what is traditionally known as the holiday season, it is important to reflect on the year behind and plan for the year ahead. Quite often, reflection can cause a person to focus on negativity. In turn, that person will lose sight of all his/her accomplishments for the current year, as well as each goal set for the coming year. However, there are other times when reflection brings about positive change and motivation. People who use self-reflection as a means of improving themselves typically live fully in each moment because they constantly want more out of life.

With all that has happened this year, I find it even more important to count the blessings more than the obstacles, the progress more than the setbacks. One of my most important blessings is being a mother, and my three little blessings remind me every day that there is so much to live for, so much to smile about - even with the countless challenges. Simply knowing that there are little humans counting on me for survival makes me want to be a better person. Being their mom makes me strive to be do my very best in every aspect of life.

I do my absolute best to teach my children what is right and what is wrong, so they can grow up to be positive, productive members of society. However, there is so much that they teach me as well. Daily, I am reminded that change is inevitable. Children seemingly grow in the blink of an eye. Sometimes it can seem as you go to sleep for the night and by the time you wake up their features look more mature or their clothes fit differently. It’s insane. I mean, I like to think I pay close attention to my children, detail by detail, on a regular basis. So, how is it that they sometimes seem unrecognizable to my conscious brain?

Each of my three teaches me a distinct lesson about myself, and I will cherish the moments

accordingly. I hope these tips help someone to better appreciate parenthood and to continue along the journey of raising the next generation of productive members of society. Because of this, I decided to provide some tips to remind us all to savor the moments as we watch our children grow.

1. Capture the moment IN the moment. It’s cool to take all the pictures you want, IF you don’t miss the actual making of the memory in the process. In the age of social media, pictures have seemingly become the end-all, be-all. I am constantly reminded not to forget to send pictures of “important” things in my kids’ lives.

The problem is that I need to be reminded to remember to take said pictures. Most of the time, I’m so busy trying to enjoy the moment that capturing it on camera seems like a chore. I won’t sit here and say that there are times when I wish I had my phone ready like the paparazzi so the “moment can last forever.” But think about it.

The moment creates a memory and the memory is what’s supposed to last forever, right? Maybe it’s just me. Don’t get me wrong - pictures and videos are wonderful tools that help us remember special moments in life. I, for one, would simply prefer being in the moment creating the memory with them instead of sitting on the sidelines with a camera trying to capture the perfect shot. But like I said, maybe it’s just me.

2. Embrace each personality your child displays. Never try to stifle who they are innately at their core. Never make them feel as if who they are on the inside is wrong or irrelevant. Let them live! Let them explore! Let them be themselves, fully and completely, always.

We, as parents, must simply channel the energy into positives.

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3. Don’t forget to kiss them goodnight EVERY NIGHT. Tomorrow isn’t promised and today is the only day they will be the person they are. I mean, think about it. By the time they wake up each morning, they are just a little older, just a little wiser, just a little different than they were the day before.

7. Try eating dinner as a family. At least once a week, plan to share a meal together. Family time is at an all-time high these days. Sitting at a table and enjoying a meal together can spark great conversation and show the children how much they matter.

4. Teach them to say their prayers. We all know the power of prayer and teaching them to pray early in life could be the difference in who they choose to be or what they choose to believe as they grow older.

8. Listen to what your children have to say.

Not only will they make you laugh, but they may teach you something along the way.

Furthermore, if they cannot talk to you they will find someone else to talk to - someone who could potentially be dangerous or serve as a bad influence.

5. Teach them manners. Words cannot express enough how far simple manners can take you in this life. If nothing else, having manners will help to set your children apart from the expectation of rudeness and self-centeredness that now seems to be the norm.

6. Hug them often. Showing affection often can be the difference between smiles and tears - or other more negative coping mechanisms. Hugging them will not make them soft or weak. It shows them how to give and receive care and compassion for/from others, and that takes major strength.

9. Teach them how to be independent, gently. It’s okay to promote independence as long as you’re there to catch them WHEN they fall. And trust me, they will fall. A LOT. So, be there to help them up and push them to try again!

10. Tell your children 'I LOVE YOU' every time you walk out the door. Because you have no way of knowing when your last moment on this Earth will be, it's important to let your children (and all your loved ones for that matter) know exactly how you feel every time you get ready to leave their presence.

This holiday season, let's pay closer attention to every single moment. Let's pay closer attention to the small things. In times like these, it's the small things that make people feel the most loved.

Make a vow to yourself – promise yourself to use this time to self-reflect and self-improve, then use what you learn about yourself to lead your children into a brighter future.

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Ask the Editor This year, no different than any other year, I have so much to be thankful for. However, this year I am simply thankful for life. So many people won’t have a chance to see 2021, so I’m thankful for that chance alone.

As a proud black mother, I am also beyond thankful that all three of my black children are still alive and well with me!

My favorite Christmas movie is “The Preacher’s Wife” with Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston. I can’t even count the number of times I watched it with my mother and sister. Oh, the memories! It reminds me that there are angels sent to us

by God to watch over us and to guide our subconscious to do right. The movie always give me hope of a brighter future.

As you will see later in this magazine, I don’t typically make New Year’s resolutions because they are usually so hard to keep beyond a few weeks. But if I have to answer the question, I would say that my New Year’s resolution for next year will be to regain control of my emotions and continue to be a good role model for my children and other children I come in contact with through mentoring and other Just Dream activities.

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Meet the Authors

Talecia Izlar is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who is trauma informed, and is experienced working with clients to process and heal from trauma. She also has experience working with clients that present with anxiety, depression, ADHD, behavioral issues, relationship conflict, stress and anger management, self-esteem issues, mood stability, and psychotic disorders. My goal for my clients is to guide them towards Hope, Happiness, and Healing through selfexploration, analyzing thoughts and beliefs, and making positive behavioral changes.

Talecia is a Rehabilitation Specialist for a Psychiatric Rehabilitation Program, supervising Direct Care Staff. She is also a therapist at both a mental health clinic and for her very own private practice - Guided Journeys, LLC, in Lanham, MD.

Email: guidedjourneysllc@gmail.com

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Benita Henderson, a “closet writer for years, has devoted her life to her family. She is a proud wife, mother of four, and grandmother of ten. She has always believed that following your dreams is of the utmost importance, and she proved this when she received her Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration at the age of 50. Her newest feat becoming a published author has given her a newfound hope that she will be able to continue her mission of expressing her love for God through her writing. She considers herself to be an encourager to all. There is a silver lining behind every cloud.

Aside from the importance of family and education, Benita also values honesty, love, peace, spirituality, and friendship. To know her is to love her. In her book "From the Depths of My Soul," Benita allows readers to take a glimpse into her life by sharing some of her innermost thoughts in journal-style snippets each complete with vulnerability and humility.

Benita is sure to be a promising author as she succeeds at whatever she puts her mind to.

Email: mommy_girl_421@gmail.com

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Marquita Antoineå was born and raised in Prince George’s County, MD. She is a single mother of three beautiful children and a two-time published author. For the majority of her life, Marquita has enjoyed helping other people in whatever way she can. Alongside her brother, in 2012, she co-founded The Just Dream Foundation, Ltd., a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering children, teens, and young adults through mentoring and tutoring.

Marquita has big dreams of owning her own literary agency one day where individuals will be able to learn creative writing skills and enhance story-telling capabilities. She has hopes of creating a platform for people everywhere to share their stories of strength and perseverance. Writing has always been a hobby for Marquita, but now she realizes that her writing is therapeutic and healing for both her and those around her. With this in mind, Marquita plans to continue writing for as long as she can.

Website: www.marquita-antoinea.com

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Email: bcw1786@gmail.com

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