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Introduction
Chapter 1: Me, Before You
Chapter 2: Good things take time
Chapter 3: Begin Again
Chapter 4: I love you
Chapter 5: We’ve only just begun Letter
This story is a story about how I met the absolute love of my life. All things considered, this is our love story from my perspective. My love might have her own version of events, maybe even added context, but these are my own thoughts, feelings and experiences. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still whack a dude if they ask for it, I grew up this way. But in this chapter of my life, I have fallen in love with peace and happiness. Quite literally.
In the interest of the reader, I would like to make a confession. I am not a writer. In fact, I’m far from anything remotely close to an artist or creative. I write this merely with sincerity, passion, and honesty. It is a collection of memories and thoughts. In truth, I am a very private person. My thoughts and feelings normally remain with me. This would be the first time I open up in this way, but then again, It may be the only time my hearts feels this way. In what world does a Samoan boy raised in the hood, meet a Ukranian angel who walks on sunshine, and actually fall in love? Exactly.
I dont intend for this to be anything more than a dedication to my love. I have spent the better part of my life living in a completely different world. Experiences that I know would frighten many people. I wouldnt wish many of the difficulties I dealt with on anyone. All in all, I am grateful for the many trials I have faced. They say calm seas never made a skillful sailor, and I am grateful God allowed me to experience life the way I did, to develop the necessary qualities to protect, love and serve the beautiful soul that is Luchiia Mendosa Plata. I love you forever Luch.
Chapter 1: Me, Before You
In 2021, I was working very hard to build a consulting company and develop contract opportunities I had been very fortunate to receive. At this time, I had overcome many personal difficulties. Life had me at my knees, love had betrayed me, and the future looked bleak and empty. Despite these experiences, I made a commitment to continue to press forward in the pursuit of goals I had set for myself. I was not going to give up on life, I would not quit on my future, and I refused to lose faith in love. I worked hours on end, missing out on family holidays and gatherings. At times I would either fall asleep on our office couch or in my car. I had a vision for my career and believed it would eventually materialize. Eventually it did. Not bad for an immigrant, who grew up on welfare, raised in the islands and in the ghetto, and all the other barriers most young people cry about these days. I was blessed to have parents who love me, siblings who are my best friends, and a relationship with God that has fortified me through the best and worst times. I lost my dad, my grandma and other friends during this time and had endured a lot. Perhaps those stories can be told in another time and in another book on not giving up on life, and not quitting on my future. This story is about how I refused to lose faith in love, and how love eventually found me.
As I write this piece, I reflect back to that year, which followed years of suffering and pain. I would later come to understand that in order to reach Wisdom Road, I would need to travel through Suffering and Pain Avenue. At the time, I only had the gym, country music, and God to sustain me. I recall many nights and mornings pleading through countless prayers for comfort and clarity which seemed out of reach and non-existent.
One night while working late, I decided to scroll through the net and socials in an effort to escape reality and work pressures. Up to that point I rarely used social media to post or for anything at all - I am a bit more active now but I do maintain a belief that it is an absolute waste of time. I digress. On this night while scrolling, I came across a picture of what I believed to be the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on. Her kind eyes, beautiful hair, and warm smile captivated me. She had an aura that radiated rays of sunshine that even the sun in that picture couldn’t replicate. I could see that she just looked so peaceful, and happy. Two things I felt for a very long time kept eluding me. She had these. She was these. She was peace and happiness personified. Five minutes must have passed before I realized I was staring at a picture of a beautiful girl I would likely never meet in this life, at least it was obvious to me that we lived worlds away from each other, so how could that ever be a possibility? I finally came to, and realized I still had a mountain of work to get through but before I put my phone down, I did something completely out of character (for your information, this story is a compilation of many things I would eventually do that are very out of character for me - but it is what it is). I decided to follow her on social media. Admittedly, I knew nothing about this girl other than what I saw in that picture, so naturally, I carried on with life. A few days later she added me back.
We didn’t speak much at all, I didn’t have the time to, and she didn’t have any reason to be into me anyway. I rarely posted at all. It would seem that this is where things would end. As it turns out, looking back now, things were only getting started.
During the third quarter of 2021, I began planning for the year ahead. I had intentions to grow further, personally, professionally and in the context of my career that I was building. I was involved in several spaces, including media, politics, and continuing the work of helping small business owners from impoverished communities. I was eager to find opportunities to work with professionals from across the country and internationally. Through my network I was able to find opportunities abroad and connect with like minded professionals. During this time, I came across another program which I had never heard of before. Similar to other opportunities I had found, this program was an Academy based in the Czech Republic. Upon further investigation I found that this was a church inspired program that sought to help young people specifically in the European area, develop a proficiency in English speaking, public speaking, leadership and also business. During my investigation I found that this academy had an instagram page, to my surprise the beautiful young lady I “unknowingly” followed also followed their page. Out of curiosity I messaged her and inquired about the program. She asked to set up a video call to discuss it further but once again, our schedules were not aligned and nothing came of that other than she was involved with the program at one point and that was it.
Against any judgment, I decided to ignore the fact that I was clearly not the intended target of this program. Considering I knew how to speak English, I had established a business career, and was not looking to enhance my public speaking capabilities, oh and not to mention, I was from New Zealand - 18 134 kms away from Europe, I applied anyway. At the time, I did everything I could to live a good life. Not long after this I received an invitation to join the program after passing a round of interviews and vetting.
Sadly, this opportunity was deferred to a later time due to the Ukrainian conflict that arose. I received an email from the program in 2022 asking when I would like to defer my attendance, and with a moment’s thought I chose the winter semester in January 2023. Once I received confirmation from staff of my acceptance I made one of the most random decisions in my life (again - the first of many random decisions I would make during this story). During a meeting for work, I pulled out my phone, looked at the dates for this program, checked flights for those dates, and booked a return trip to Prague with the intention of joining this program. For added context, I had never been to Europe before. I had no plans of going there, I hadn’t met anyone from Europe or even done any research on visa requirements. Even my workload at the time didn’t seem like it would allow me to make that trip. I only knew two things. 1. It felt good, and 2. It felt right. I would come to understand that this is actually what faith is. I had no idea what to expect or what I could possibly learn from this curriculum, other than for whatever reason maybe I was supposed to be there. In later prayers, I said to God, you have up until January 16 to stop me, but if I make it to this academy, maybe I am supposed to be there.
Weeks prior to the commencement of the academy, I was sent an email from the program regarding what to prepare for and general admin. Whoever sent the email did not blind copy the other recipients and so I decided to check who the other attendees were. To my surprise I saw a familiar name - Luchiia Mendosa, the girl whose aura and smile was brighter than the sun in that picture from the year before. I decided to message her and let her know I was attending, to which she responded saying she was only thinking about it and hadn’t decided yet.
The time drew near and I had been working and going to the gym. I didn’t know for sure if that sweetheart was going but I knew I was. I left New Zealand a week after the program started and had paid attention to updates on what was happening via social media.
While waiting to board one of my flights I noticed a familiar face in one of the stories. It was the girl with that sweet smile. I knew then that there was only one person I was interested in seeing when I arrived. When I finally made it to the campus, my dear Brazilian friends helped me with my bags as I scanned across the common room to look for the girl that stole five minutes of my attention two years prior. A staff member took me on a brief tour of the campus and gave a brief orientation.
While we were leaving the common room passing through the library, the doors burst open and the girl I had seen in that picture two years ago walked in. She was as beautiful then as she was in that picture, only now she was in front of me. That warm smile, friendly eyes, peaceful calm energy, and elegant charm was undeniable. Now I’m sure this was one sided which is fine, need I remind you, I ended up with the girl in this story eventually so it’s fine. We exchanged pleasantries and hugged before carrying on through. She would say otherwise, but I knew then, that at least for me, for the duration of this academy, she would be the only girl I could ever have romantic feelings for - I proved to be right.
Later that night, I found out that there was a welcome party put together to celebrate my arrival. It was the sweetest gesture from my peers and I enjoyed the island themed party and the effort put into making me feel welcome as the last arriving participant. Full disclosure, the only thing I was doing amongst all the commotion, food and music, was look for that girl whose name is Luchiia.
She came fashionably late to the party, (I even remember what she wore lol black trousers, and a black and off purple top lol yes when it came to this girl I noticed everything lol) and I don’t know whether it was the jet lag or the fact that I was intimidated by her beauty, but rather than ask her for a dance or start a conversation with her I froze and admired her from afar like an absolute chicken. I was in awe, and I knew that I was in deep deep trouble. I went from gangster to Romeo real quick. Well, neither she or anyone could sense it. But I knew I was in trouble.
Aloha night: Look at this absolute stunner.
Aloha night: First day on campus. Love a good laugh.
It’s currently 11:02 am here in Brisbane Australia and I am 14 942 km away from my sweetheart who is in Chernivtsi, Ukraine. (It has been a week since she’s been there, and I haven’t been able to sleep well or at all). I shared with her a few extracts from this story throughout the day yesterday and when we spoke last night we shared tears and laughs as we reflected on the many happy coincidences that had to happen to bring a Samoan boy to be face to face with his Ukrainian princess, even if at the time she didn’t know it.
I recall the first week of the program. I enjoyed meeting new people, making new friends, and getting familiar with the schedule. Everyone was so friendly and kind and I knew that I would absolutely enjoy my time there. The first day was packed with food, and socializing. I was glad there was a gym there. It was the only place I could escape and recuperate my energy. I found my feet quickly despite being the odd duckling who wasn’t from Brazil or Europe. If you know anyone from the Pacific we are known for being good at forcing people to be our friends, which I did with everyone I came across, including staff members and mentors.
The first time we had classes, I was focused on the lesson, and tried to engage as best I could. It was great to be amongst so many different cultures, and perspectives and hear such positive engagement. I can’t recall the exact question nor do I remember the exact words in the answer, but I do remember hearing this angelic voice, giving the wisest, most knowledgeable and intelligent response during a discussion. It was Luchiia. They say people may not always remember what is said, but they’ll always remember how they made you feel. The problem was I knew I wasn’t the only guy that felt what I was feeling - i don’t blame them. She was just different.
Chapter 2: Good things, take timeDespite how much I admired this girl, I kept my cool. Later on Luchiia would lovingly educate me that sometimes keeping any level of cool, can be too cool.
Now I don’t want anyone to think I was completely lost in the beauty of this amazing girl (I was. I was just good at playing it cool) so as to neglect any opportunity to learn, grow and participate, but after all it is our love story lol. Up to this point, it was friendly. We had shared lunch and dinner in the common room a time or two. We even went to the gym and trained together a few times. I thought oh this is going great. I didn’t anticipate that what seemed to be just the beginning of this fairytale story (at least from my point of view) would take an unexpected turn for the worst. But on my first weekend in Prague, we took a field trip and tour of the city, and a turn for the worst is exactly what happened.
It was Saturday January 21, we were scheduled to leave early in the morning for a field trip. I got dressed with my roommates and made our way to the common room. While everyone was getting their lunch and packing, making our way to the bus, we were advised that it was expected that we take our passports with us just as a precaution. Myself and a few others rushed back to the campus to get our passports. I walked into the common room and found Luchi sitting on the middle row of tables nearest to the pool table drinking a hot drink alone. With a light hint of concern in my voice, I asked her, “ Are you not joining us on the trip?”, “no, I have some things to do,” she said. I didn’t mean to pry, but I had to ask her what exactly she needed to do to which she responded “homework”. I rolled my eyes and said, maybe a bit arrogantly “Homework? You’re not going to come because you have homework?”. I rolled my eyes again (completely disappointed because I was hoping I would explore the city with her that day - I know. Who knew I was a hopeless romantic) and ran up to my room to get my passport. I was conflicted, because if she didn’t go I knew I wouldn’t want to go. In fact, I decided I was going to convince her to come, and if she wouldn’t come I was absolutely not going to go to Prague. I came back down to the common room and said to her, “you have
to come, if you had a better excuse than homework I wouldn’t bother you, but it’s homework. Who cares about homework, you have to come”. She smiled and said “ok ill quickly go get changed” and ran to her room to change out of the light blue knitted sweater and light cream coloured pants she was wearing. (What can I say, I remember these details). I knew we were holding up the whole academy on the bus, but to be frank, I didn’t care. They could have left without us and I wouldn’t have cared.
She quickly got changed, and met me outside by the common room and we both ran through the snow towards the bus where over fifty students and staff were waiting at least 10 minutes for us. I won’t lie, I was glad I convinced her to join us. When we arrived in Prague, the guys wanted me to join them in their group. I quietly approached Luchi and asked her to join me. I admit I was caught between being shy and trying to be cool that it may have confused her. But while deciding where I was going to go, Lubos, a dear friend who would play an integral role in this story, took a picture of me, which Luchiia jumped in and photobombed. Interestingly enough, that picture looks like I was the one photobombing. Somehow after that we parted ways. She was whisked away with the girls and got swooped up by the guys.
Prague Trip: This was our first picture together. It was supposed to be just me but Luch jumped in and made the picture look perfect lol
That whole morning I didn’t have internet on my phone. I kept looking around to see if she were near but to no avail. Near lunchtime, myself and some in our group decided to go to the nearest mall. I thought, this is my chance to connect to the wifi and message her. She responded immediately. I invited her to meet me at the mall for lunch which eventually she did. Except she and Bodhana, another student who would play a crucial role in this story, were having lunch at a restaurant just outside the mall. No one knew I was in communication with Luchiia. So when the opportunity presented itself, I said to the group that I needed to go to the bathroom and politely excused myself. I made a B-line for the door and went straight to where Luchiia and Bohdana were. When I sat down, I realized I hadn’t thought through what I would say or even talk about. The conversation went from ok, to mild, to awkward in the space of 30 minutes. I was so eager to chat and get to know her that all common sense and courtesy went out of the window. I knew small talk, jokes and trying to be funny wouldn’t suffice. After all, I was talking to a well mannered, peaceful, mature and sophisticated young lady.
In an effort to break the ice I said to her that it would be wise for her to every once in a while “chill” and “relax”. Two things I have come to understand you just don’t say to a woman. To save face I even inserted a stupid comment that sealed my fate that day, when I said to her, “people think you’re really quiet and serious”. I could see and feel the energy completely change (I’m sure Bohdana did too). Luchiia looked me dead in the eyes and said “I don’t know why you would say such a thing. That was very offensive. You completely offended me”.
Any explanation, or good intentions behind what I was trying to say felt completely futile. So I sat there getting the lecture of my life on how impolite, thoughtless and rude my comments were. (Effort #1) I think Bohdana felt sorry for me because while I was trying to apologize and sweet talk myself out of this awkward situation, she whispered to me and asked me “do you understand why she is offended?”. Now a bit annoyed, I responded and said “I do”. I just couldn’t understand how someone I just met could expect me to know her well enough to know what was offensive to her or not - to me, where I come from, this is typical light hearted fun conversation. The awkwardness had passed for Luchiia and she invited me to join them and go sightseeing. Feeling embarrassed and having my ego absolutely bruised, I made an excuse to go back to the mall and meet up with the guys who were waiting for me. There was just no way I was going to spend any more time near her. At the end of the day, when we all met back at the station to jump on the bus, (Effort #2) I tried to ask her how her day was and she seemed completely disinterested. I determined it was best to socialize with the others and leave her be.
The next two weeks were filled with unfortunate and disappointing instances that saw more awkward interactions than happy ones. I knew I may have blown it. But I couldn’t understand why it was my fault. I was making the effort to understand her and did not feel that the same effort was being reciprocated. In any case, I decided to redivert my attention to the gym, training others, and building friendships with the other students. This was a fun period. But I was still devastated at the fact that what could have been, might never be. The week that followed our trip to Prague, we were in the conference room. We had just finished a seminar and I decided I would approach her and apologize once more. (Effort #3) I walked up to her that day and asked, “Hey maybe we’ve just got off on the wrong foot. What is it that I need to understand about you in order to understand you?”. I remember the look she gave me. She had a disdain and almost disgusted look on her face, rolling her eyes at me and asked “What?”. I politely said nevermind and walked
toward the common room, feeling once again, absolutely embarrassed and by now, furious. At that point, I thought to myself, I’m not going to try anymore. Clearly the ship has sailed, and maybe she wasn’t interested in me at all.
At the end of that week, Luchiia really wanted to help improve our team’s effort in being on time. She designed a point system where if you were early to class you received a handwritten note as a token of appreciation for your punctuality. In one class Luchiia gave me one of these notes. Being the goofball and loud mouth that I am, myself and Miri made fun of the concept and laughed at the fact that we were grown men who were supposed to feel rewarded by little pieces of paper. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Luchiia heard everything we were saying - well everything I was saying. Our team gathered for our regular reflection after this class and Luchiia raised her hand and said, “Excuse me I have something to say”. I could tell by the look on her face that I may once again be in her firing line. I was right. She began to weep and express her disappointment in Miri and I, for making fun of her efforts to help the team improve our time management. The mood was completely against Miri and I, and despite his explanation and justification, that we were just trying to have fun, she and eventually the others weren’t having it. Amidst the commotion, I stood up and with a now serious tone, apologized profusely, and promised that we would not let our humor leave our room, so as to ensure it doesn’t offend anyone. I marched off to the common room feeling more and more disappointed that this girl I completely admired now placed me on the far end of the likability scale. I came across her friend Madara, who was one of the staff and confessed to her that I had just offended and made Luchiia cry. I expressed to her that I didn’t mean to and that I was actually beginning to grow frustrated that this was happening. Later that day, she spoke to Luchiia in the common room. I was observing them from afar. I could see Luchiia crying uncontrollably and at this point I thought, did I do this? I grew more and more nervous and worried. After they talked, Madara approached me and said to just give her some time and space, and not to take anything personally.
I confessed to her that when I came to the Academy, I only wanted to see her, and get to know her, and that I was growing more and more frustrated because I felt that she was standing in the way of something so beautiful. I know how this might seem, but that is how I felt. I stayed out of her way, and spent more time with the others. I enjoyed everyone’s company, but everytime she and I were in the common room at the same time, I would always look over to her quietly minding her own business, drinking a hot drink alone or having a meal on her own. I was sure the ship had sailed. I would observe her and wish I could at least sit with her, talk to her, get to know her, get her a drink, make her a plate. But my ignorance and perhaps arrogance stood in the way of what could’ve been. Disappointment set in, knowing that I am nothing like the person she may think I am. I may have eventually accepted that she had closed her heart to me, if there was even a chance it was ever open to me to begin with.
The next few days, we had no communication whatsoever. In passing I would avoid eye contact with her. In group discussions where she was present, I was silent. I had nothing more to say, in case I might unintentionally offend someone else. Admittedly, a time or two during this period, I would roll my eyes when she spoke in our team reflections, completely annoyed that for whatever reason, what we could have had was dead in the water. I confess, it was immature on my part. My routine continued. As much as I wanted to sit around sad about things. Awake by 4:30 am, straight to the gym. Get ready for the day by 6:30 am, and finish some work by 8:00 am. Breakfast, classes, lunch, gym, work, and back in bed by 2:00 am. Unlike many at the academy, my life back home did not stop.
Days passed, and it seemed we were now complete strangers. As upset as I was initially, I accepted the fact that maybe she wasn’t into me. Now, contrary to her opinion, that did not mean I was looking at anyone else. In fact, I saw everyone else as my brothers and sisters. Nothing more. On one occasion during these two weeks, our group was assigned to give a soft skills training. My role was to close our workshop and give concluding thoughts.
I didn’t prepare, but I was prepared (if you know what I mean). I saw Luchiia pacing back and forth with her notebook full of notes and diagrams in her hands rushing to write her part on the board. I knew things may have been tense still but I wanted to give her some encouragement so she could be calm. I told her that I thought out of everyone in our group she was the most prepared and that she didn’t need to worry she’d be great. As I predicted, she gave her part of the presentation and she was great. Only one small thing was added that she claims to not remember. In her remarks she said “and that’s why it’s important to build good habits. For example if you’re looking for a future husband you want to pay attention to his habits.” She then signalled to me while speaking and said “like Julius. He goes to the gym everyday and is very strong and that’s what you want to look for”. I almost froze. I saw some others in our team who also froze. Once she finished her part I give a five minute closing to conclude our workshop. As fate would have it, this story would have one more turning point, that would set my life on a completely different path, that even I couldn’t have envisioned.
Chapter 3: Begin Again
It was February 2. A Thursday from what I can remember. Our usual Thursday schedule consisted of institute, personal finance class, and finally Russell Grimmets family relations class. I had done well to stay out of Luchiia’s way up until this point. I was too embarrassed and ashamed to look at her or interact with her. The cohort were divided into three groups which rotated each class. Come to think of it, it may have been a coincidence, serendipity or if you’re corny like me, fate, but Luchiia and I were in the same groups. We were both in the exact same classes, we both belonged to the blue group and were in the same Thursday class rotations. I remember it was our last class that day, I arrived early and I sat right up the front. The class slowly filled up but the only vacant seat was next to me. While scrolling on my phone waiting for class to start, I looked up and saw Luchi walking in. I was sure she’d find another seat. To my complete surprise she sat right next to me. I was silent. But the lesson was so good. During the lesson, Russell had asked each of us to partner up and discuss in pairs, what family, becoming mothers and fathers, means to us personally. I froze again, knowing Luchiia was going to be my partner. Gracefully she turned to me and shared her thoughts. I can’t even remember anything I said, but I remember her comments. She spoke about the important role mothers have, and her personal aspirations to be a mother and wife. She shared her opinion on how important family is to her. I was speechless. We hadn’t talked about anything that was of any importance prior, other than training and small talk. I was so impressed. I knew I completely misjudged her and felt a bit silly. After class, as we both walked out, I remember thinking, “oh no. I’m in trouble”. I knew that I had always wanted to find someone who had an appreciation and respect for family and a reverence for the divine responsibility of mothers. She was already clearly a special woman.
This conversation with her showed me another side of her. My curiosity and interest peaked.
Fearful of maybe jumping the gun and overestimating the situation, I sat on this for a couple of days. On Saturday night that same week, (it would have been February 4), there was a karaoke night in the conference room. I knew this because Luchiia had messaged everyone on the group chat. I hadn’t originally planned to go. I’m not the greatest singer. But I saw her message. To play it off, I told Weylin, an American intern for the program, to come with me. We both went to our rooms to get ready. I was determined to look my best. I showered, combed my hair, and wore black on black with boots and a heavy green checkered overcoat and a silver chain. I met with Weylin in the common room and we both made our way to the karaoke activity. When we arrived, I scanned the room to try and find Luchiia. She sat with Victoria, a lovely Ukrainian young lady, in the front row. Weylin and I had planned to sit in the back but as Weylin cut straight through the back seats to the far corner, I decided I was going the long way so I Luchiia would notice me. I don’t think she did lol its funny now looking back, at all the ways I did my best to get her attention while being absolutely shy and trying to play it cool. She may have not noticed me at the time, but I definitely noticed her. She wore all black, and her hair was out. She looked so beautiful. She did a couple of songs in the first hour since I got to the activity and then disappeared. I had no idea where she went. I ended up staying a while before eventually going back to my room. While lying in bed, I couldn’t help but think about Luchiia. Every feeling I tried to shut out during the past two weeks came back with a vengeance during Russells class. After a long internal debate, I decided to message her. My message went something like this:
“I realize we may have gotten off on the wrong foot and may have misunderstood each other. But if you would like to, I’m keen to start
“I don’t mean to be random, but I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation in Russell’s class. Have a good rest Luchi”
fresh.”
She responded saying she was up late processing some emotions, which she would later explain to me in more detail, which if I may, was another confirmation that this candle that was beginning to burn again, was perhaps, meant to be. She said she’d already let go of any misunderstandings and that she was always open for communication. Now, I explained to Luchiia a slightly different sequence of events. I told her that I was encouraged by my roommates to contact her, but that wasn’t the case. My ego wouldn’t allow me to admit that I contacted her on my own accord. But I did. In fact, my roommates had no idea how interested I was in Luchiia or that I contacted her that night. But based on her response to my message, I knew I might actually have a chance after all.
The next day, I was overwhelmed. As much as I loved being around everyone, my battery was running flat. I found a quiet corner in the conference room and decided to do some writing, and reflection. This was an evening ritual I did back home that I really missed. It was around 8pm, I had country music playing quietly, and my laptop and phone were now running low on battery too. In perhaps a slick or inspired move, I messaged Luchiia (of all people) and asked if she was near the conference room. I asked if she had a charger that I could borrow. She responded and said that she did, and she would bring it to the conference room. She came, and she asked what I was doing. I confessed I needed some quiet time away from everyone and had a habit of listening to music every night back home while reflecting on the day. We ended up talking well into the evening until others came to the conference room. It was really nice, and I appreciated her company very much. It was the cherry on top of an already amazing sabbath.
The next day, I was beginning to feel more confident and audacious. I asked what her plans were for the day. She mentioned she wanted to check out a lake and asked if I wanted to join her. Ofcourse, I lept at the opportunity and said yes. We met outside and proceeded toward the hill in search of the lake that everyone had been talking about. We walked past a group of students who I could see were surprised we were walking together. I didn’t mind.
I was just in awe, that I was walking with the most amazing human being I’d ever met.
On our walk, I saw a side of her that I never once saw during the academy. She was smiling, laughing and joking and dancing. My heart melted, seeing how happy she was. I remembered that first night staring at her picture and thinking that she was the embodiment of peace, and happiness. I looked at her while she was talking and remembered thinking to myself, I can love this girl. I can protect this beautiful little cheerful girl from the monsters I’ve seen. I know I’m not perfect, but I intend to improve every single day and become the best me I can be, and I would love to give that to this girl. I was now given a front row seat to enjoy the beauty, peace and joy of that girl I had once seen two years before in that picture on my phone.
That night, I felt like the man. Less macho, but a more, I’m walking on clouds kind of “the man”. The next day followed the same pattern. Classes, gym, routines, and so forth. We decided to go for another walk. We decided to go for another walk. This walk was special. Well every walk was special, but this night was particularly romantic. We had followed the same path the night before but on our way back we took the wrong road. I was sure I knew where we were going but after Luchiia offered to double check on her phone we realized we were in fact lost. That night was very cold, but on the wrong road we came across the most beautiful view of a full moon. Luchiia looked at me, and in an excited and very cute voice she said “its a full moon, lets make a wish”. She went first, and then I followed her. I remember my wish. It was very simple. I said “please help Luchiia fall in love with me.” It was a peaceful night and the walk back to the campus was one to remember. This wish eventually came true and reignited my belief that sometimes, wishes do come true.
It is clear that feelings from my side developed rapidly. For some reason my heart had opened up completely almost immediately. But I was conflicted. I had already been disappointed during the time we spent wallowing in bitterness for those two weeks, but I knew that my time was valuableI did not want to be Luchiias friend and pretend I was ok with giving her three hours of my time everyday. I was of the opinion that we’re both either all in, or not in at all. Toeing the line of the friendzone and belonging to someone was not a game I was willing to play. On the third day, I made a choice. I was going to tell her how I felt when we went for a walk. I had a conversation with myself and said, “you are not doing this to scare anyone, or to eagerly await her response and hope she feels the same way. You’re doing it so you don’t waste time, lose self respect and chase after someone who does not want what you have.” With this logic, I walked next to Luchiia with my chest out and shoulders back, and as we turned a corner by the Zebra room, I said to her, “Luchiia, I have to say something. I like you. You don’t have to say anything, but I like you. I’m doing this so I don’t go crazy wondering if you feel the same way any longer, and so that I dont waste time going for walks with you when you’re not interested in anything more. Respectfully, I don’t want to be your friend. I would like to maybe be more. You dont have to say anything now, but you do have until 8am tomorrow morning to let me know how you feel.” I know. Maybe I was too forward. But I had to get it out of my system. She looked completely surprised and smiled not knowing what to say. I was ok that she didn’t respond immediately, Ive found that the way she processes decisions with patience and poise is one of the qualities I love about her.
The next day, I approached Luchiia as promised to ask her what her opinion was. Sadly, she hadnt made a decision yet. I pestered her the whole day about it and eventually she said, “i think I like you a little bit.” You would think that this would weaken my desire to court her. But it in fact strengthened my resolve to fight for her. I thought to myself, I’ll take whatever she gives me. Sometimes love hits you like a perfectly timed tackle. Sometimes it comes in a smooth and natural way. In our case, it wasn’t either of those
mentioned. But rather, it was a love that was developed brick by brick, cultivated with thoughtful consideration, mutual respect, and hours spent learning about each other’s lives, values and aspirations. The days that followed were filled with walks, time spent together, and long talks. Even watched movies together - the first one being Purple Hearts. I felt comfortable. Not in a lazy overly content way, but comfortable in a way where I could slowly just be myself and enjoy the company of an amazing woman.
On February 14th, we had a temple trip scheduled in Freiburg, Germany. It was a six hour trip both ways that felt like half an hour, as I spent most of my time with Luchiia. We sat next to each other on the bus. We held each other, she lay her head on my shoulder and on our way back I held her while she slept. It was the closest we’d been and it felt completely magical. But the most magical part of this trip was being in the temple and seeing Luchiia. I felt like I had known her forever. We sat next to each other and were the last ones to leave the temple. For me, this was where I received further confirmation on pursuing Luchiia. 1. It felt good 2. It felt right. I don’t over complicate personal revelation, because I recognise that answers can sometimes follow a sequence of steps into the unknown, and a simple reassurance that I was on the right path would suffice. For me, it was sufficient enough to continue to get to know her, and as it turned out, the more I got to know her, the more I fell for her. We had dinner in Germany, and shared a pizza, doner and drinks. On the trip back to campus, Luchi fell asleep holding on to my arm. I stared out of the window just thinking about what could be, and but a part of me wondered if these feelings were really mutual. It seemed way too good to be true.
My love is the most gorgeous. Beautiful memories in Germany during the temple trip and at the Valentines party. My Queen on my arm.
In any case, there was a Valentines Day party a couple of days later, so I asked her to be my Valentine. She agreed, and yes, I was quietly excited. How excited? Well, so excited I decided to go shopping and buy an all black outfit so I don’t look silly next to Luchiia. Oh, and I also spent four hours with Giancarlo, a Spanish student, who taught me how to dance Bachatta - I knew Luchiia loves to dance and so I did not want to be any more disappointing. On the night of the Valentine’s day party, we sat up front and enjoyed one anothers company.
We left the party early, and spent time in the common room. I remember Luchiia wasn’t feeling too well. We talked about our families, and I recall sharing personal experiences also. I enjoyed this night, but knew two things. First, the night was drawing to an end, and second, the mid semester break was drawing near. Which meant I wouldn’t see Luchiia for four days.
The day finally came where the mid semester break was upon us. I had been offered a chance to travel with friends to Vienna, Italy or Bratislava. It was too much for me so I decided to skip out and stay on campus. Luchiia on the other hand decided to fly back to Romania to visit her parents. On the day she was due to leave, Lubosh dropped us off to the city where we enjoyed breakfast at the mall, and a movie. We watched Avatar which was ok, but it wasn’t really about the movie for me. We had spent most of the time on campus and this our first time spending time together in the city. It was a fun filled time where we could be free and be ourselves. After the movie, we had dinner at a Thai restaurant. Luchi ordered fried rice with shrimp and I ordered pad thai. That was our first ever date night dinner together and it was perfect. There as a moment where Luchiia looked at me and smiled and when asked why she was smiling she said she’d tell me later. Which reminds me, I need to ask her what that was. It could have been something sweet or something on my face. After dinner we caught an uber to the airport where I farewelled her. I won’t lie. I had no clue how I was going to get home, as it was well past 9pm. I didn’t speak Czech, and no one could understand my english. For a moment I felt lost. Just for a moment. Eventually I gave in and ordered an Uber back to campus which was at least an hour away. It is what it is.
During that weekend, I caught up on sleep, and enjoyed relaxing without anyone around. I would hop on video calls with Luch and she’d send me updates of her trip. It was a great time to re energize and prepare for the rest of the program. Before Luch left for Romania, I promised her that I’d be there waiting for her. Her flight arrived between 8 and 9 am. I knew that if I was going to have any chance of picking her up, I would need to be up by 4am. On the day Luch was due back, I woke up extra early, and got dressed into warm clothes. I headed for the station when I ran into Kelly, a dear friend who was the Director of the program. He offered to drop me off to the Naceradec busstop, where I caught the 5am bus which I was well on time for. For some reason I missed the stop I was supposed to get off at, which meant I had to walk in the snow for 3 kms back to the Vlasim station where I’d catch my second bus. When I finally made it to the station, I hopped on another bus, which took me to the Roztyly train station. I bought a ticket for a stop at the main metro station, where I would catch my final bus to the airport. When I arrived at the airport, i had an hour and a half to spare before Luch arrived.
I was also quite impressed that I was able to make it that far in a foreign country. While I was waiting for Luchiia’s flight to arrive, I called my mother. I updated her on all things Prague, and the experiences I was having. She updated me on everything back home and what she’d been up to. Near the end of our conversation I whispered under my breath, “mum, I met a girl”. She sat straight, her eyes lit up, with a big smile, now listening very attentively. “Mum, her names Luchiia. She’s from Ukraine, lives in Romania, and we’ve been spending a lot of time together.” She expressed that she was happy for me, and was happy that I was happy. I am a very private person and don’t normally talk to anyone about problems, or anything in general, but on this occasion I share with my mother my experiences in getting to know Luchiia. “She’s so kind, compassionate, smart and understanding.” We had a great conversation and she offered counsel which I was grateful for. When Luchiias flight landed, I farewelled my mother and made my way to the arrivals section of the airport.
When Luch arrived, I rushed over to the other arrival section. As it turned out I had been waiting on the wrong side of the airport. She wore her blue jacket, with a black t-shirt and jeans. We embraced each other and made plans to do some exploring. It was so good to see Luch. We went to the main square, shared a meal and did some sightseeing. The night was beautiful. On the way back to campus, Luchiia and I enjoyed the ride back, reflecting on her trip and our day in Prague. On this night, Luch and I shared our first kiss.
I suppose this was a clear indication that things were slowly getting serious. This girl was just special. Everyday after arriving back on campus, Luch and I sat next to each other and held hands in every class. At the end of each day, my dear sweetheart would make us a hot cup of Caro, and we would sit together and reflect on the day that was. I miss those days. But there are many things to appreciate today and look forward to tomorrow.
Like any developing relationship, there are always opportunities to learn and grow. Sometimes the tides roll steadily, and sometimes the waves are rough. But in any event, it’s always good to remember that there are people who would give anything to enjoy a swim in the ocean. I have always known that relationships are never perfect or smooth sailing. Yards are earned, and it takes both to push through the gain line. We’ve had moments where one person would need to step up and moments where the other would also. In these situations, it felt that we were being guided. With every concern we each would share, the very next day someone was giving a lesson on how to manage or overcome such an issue.
Where we could only see murky waters, there was also a generous couple, or mentor that would provide comfort and relief and inspire confidence in our decisions to pursue a serious relationship. During this discovery period, we were blessed with many angels, who observed the development of our love and the desire we both had to progress in life. On many occasions, whether during institute or after sacrament, Sister Dent and Sister Hatch, would approach us with only well wishes, offering advice. They were sister missions who were actually sisters. Over the course of the semester they offered wisdom and guidance around the realities of relationships and having the ability to navigate sunny and stormy periods. They were both widows, so they had a tender spot for Luch and I, and the love that was clearly developing.
On one occasion, Luch asked them how to maintain a spark in the relationship. Sister Dent stood upright and firm and said with a staunch but loving voice “spark? What spark? Relationships and true love are about more than just a spark. Sparks come and go but your love and commitment to someone other than a spark will sustain you for lifetimes’’. She and sister Hatch shared experiences of their husbands who have now passed away. One touching memory sister Dent shared with us, was how her husband would always be patient with her especially when she was being particularly stubborn. “He used to say to me, Jo, you will never know how much I love you, and you know what? He was right. I didn’t realise just how much he loved me until he passed away.”
She spoke through tears and expressed how thankful she was to have someone who loved her and cared for her the way he did. While she was talking I remember choking up. It may not have been obvious to Luch while she was smiling and listening to sister dent, but I knew in my heart that I felt exactly the same way about Luchiia. It would be impossible for luch to know how much I love her. As Al Green would say, through the good and the bad, happy or sad. I’d never felt that for anyone before.
Now in this Part of the story, we won’t go too specific, but I will be honest. Throughout my life, I have developed a simple processing system when making decisions. It is steeply based in my faith and trust in God, and a consideration for who I am and who I want to be. When I met Luch, I considered the possibility that it was serendipitous, or fate if you will. But I prayed, and fasted about the potential of seriously pursuing her. As mentioned previously, I had an impression that 1. It felt good, 2. It felt right. This was “answer” enough for me. In fact, when I decided to pursue Luchiia seriously, that was it. I never looked back. Even to this day. It is June 3 2023. It is 2am and I am writing this as an ode and gift to my sweetheart to be delivered to her to read by Jun 4. I haven’t thought about another woman or even been curious at all. First of all, I am done looking. Secondly, I wont gamble with my maker - if He has blessed me with this beautiful girl, I will be committed to her. I understand that there may be other women who are interested, but I chose Luch then, I choose Luch now and I’ll always choose her. You know how much I love this girl, I think its abundantly clear from the introduction up to this point. But for Luchiia, her decision making process was more gradual, cautious, risk averse, and her analysis was thorough. My unreasonable frustration with this led me to develop an even more unreasonable lack of patience. But now, in hindsight, Luchiia Mendosa’s patient, thoughtful and deep consideration for her decisions, is one of the best qualities about her. And in many ways, when she says she loves me, I know she doesn’t spit out words she didn’t think about deeply. Her words are expensive, because her decision making process is meticulous.
During this time, we enjoyed one another’s company, however, there were occasions where Luchiia would be skeptical and felt that giving up was better than finding out what this could become. In such situations, I recall having strong impressions to not give up. I’m sure Luchiia had good reason to question me, but I also knew we just didn’t know each other well enough. Conditions were ideal, our meals were prepared, everything was provided for, and we were around other young men and women. Personally, I knew me.
I knew that I had a genuine capacity to love and care for her and only her. So I didn’t quit. As long as we are together, I will never quit. On one occasion, we had a spirited discussion, maybe even heated discussion. We had discussed certain concerns including how sure or unsure we were. I explained that I am sure because I have received an answer for myself that this is worth pursuing. Luch had skepticism about how sure she was, perhaps based on what she saw in me and the way I perhaps childishly conducted myself (Lol my bad). This frustrated both of us. We ended our conversation and walked back to the common room for something to drink. As we approached the common room, I noticed a mentor sitting near the far side, and mentioned to Luchiia that it might be wise to introduce ourselves to him, which we did. This mentor’s name was Bob Hanson. We introduced ourselves and sat next to him. Our conversation went on for at least an hour. He shared his background, family, children and marriage. During our chat, Luchiia asked Bob for his opinion on a topic we had just been discussing. “Bob, how do you know that something is right for you, and how do you develop confidence in your answer?” I’m paraphrasing here, but that is in essence what her question was from what I remember. Bob looked at her, and looked at me, and said, “I don’t usually get into other peoples business, but is this by any chance to do with you two?” We both smiled and nodded. He said “I have to admit, I did not know that. I have just met you both. But as I saw you both walking toward me and we had this conversation, your energy’s are both electrifying and magnetic. Individually of course, but together, you seem to be a force of nature.” Bob was a man who spoke with love, and a tone of kindness and authenticity. He then carried on and said “each of you will receive your own answer, but it is really important to understand how each of you receive your own answer.” He shared more pearls of wisdom and then decided to do an exercise with us. “Luchiia, I want you to close your eyes and picture your future home. What do you see? What do you feel?”. To which Luchiia replied saying, “I see a family who accepts one another, loves each other. And I feel safe and secure and happy”. There may have been more but this is what my memory is giving me at 3am writing this. When she was done, Bob turned to me and asked me
to close my eyes and asked me “Julius, do you think you can provide these things to Luchiia?”. I had a huge smile on my face and said “Absolutely, I can ‘’. I wasn’t lying. I knew then that I can, and have in every way that I could, I have continued to remain true to that commitment.
Throughout Bob’s time with us, he spoke of unconditional love. A principle that may nowadays be overly romanticized to the point where it seems out of reach, unattainable, and even unrealistic. In my faith, unconditional love is called Charity. “The pure love of Christ’’. In another way I have always interpreted this to mean, the attribute of loving others as Christ loves us. Or in Bob’s words, unconditional love. I had done my best to embody this, despite the conditions I grew up in.
I also knew that every time we discussed this topic, I always looked at Luchiia and asked myself if I was capable of giving such a gift as unconditional love to her and the answer every time was the same. Yes. We maintain a strong friendship with these and many wonderful angels who came at the precise time, we both needed them.
In the final half of the semester, Luchiia and I determined that it would be wise to not waste anymore free time. So on the weekends, Luchiia and I would spend all of our time off campus. We spent our first weekend exploring Prague. Lubosh dropped us off to the Zoo, where we explored for hours. This was also the day, we both decided that we would officially be a couple.
Interestingly enough, I remember asking her a day or so before if she’d want to be my girlfriend, to which she responded, let’s wait until the weekend. So when the weekend came, and we were now at the Zoo, I waited patiently for Luchiia to say something. She looked at me while walking around the Zoo and said, “let’s make it official at 11:11 am exactly.” So when the clock hit 11:11am, on March 4, we were by the Elephant pound, and kissed in honor of this next step of our relationship. We enjoyed countless bus rides, train rides and long walks across sunshine and citylights. We discovered our favorite burger joint in Prague as well. It was a nice little spot called Joy Burger.
We enjoyed our time very much. Luch learned about me and I learned about her. On Sunday we returned back to campus to prepare for the week ahead. I would celebrate every trip because I knew we could be ourselves and learn about one another. I would also dread coming back to campus because I knew we’d be surrounded by everyone, have classes and have less freedom to be ourselves and be in each other’s company. I had so much fun exploring. During the week, we had classes and a service project.
Chopping wood and carrying them through the forest. Luchiia was feeling sick so she stayed on campus. It was only halfway through the week, and I was already looking forward to the weekend. When Friday finally came, when classes were done, we packed our bags, got dressed and were dropped off to the bus station. We had a great weekend.
On 11 March, Luch decided it would be a great idea to go see the opera… I’m from the hood. I’d never even thought of the opera let alone go to one. But I gave in. It was beautiful. Luch got bored halfway through but I was invested. The story was about a girl named, wait for it, Lucia (pronounced, Luchiia). While we were watching, during the intermission, Luchiia looked at me and said those three magical words, “I love you”. I was weak at the knees. I had confessed to her days prior that I loved her. In truth I cant remember when. I’m probably confused because in my mind I was in love with her long before I admitted it. But it did feel good to be loved by Luchiia. On our last day in Prague, we went to the square and enjoyed sightseeing and even went on a little boat cruise under the Charles bridge. I enjoyed these moments very much. I was with the girl of dreams doing things i’d never dream of doing. Before Luch, my life was work, work and more work. I always felt I didn’t deserve a holiday yet, so it was good to enjoy life a bit more. At nightfall we traveled back to campus.
In this part I’d like to offer a reflection. A review of my thoughts and feelings at the time and using the benefit of hindsight to add commentary on lessons I’ve now come to learn. Most of the concerns that arose were because Luchiia and I come from two different parts of the world. Both geographically, and philosophically. In my world, danger is always just a stone’s throw away. You had trouble if you looked at someone for more than a second. In my neighborhood, what others thought of as gangs, we saw as just a group of friends who grew up in the same block, who’d defend each other if trouble came. In my world, 99%of my friends were now leaders of gangs, heavily involved in organized crime, or took turns going in and out of jail. I was accustomed to ruthlessness, because I grew up around it. I had grown up defensive and on guard, but always offered respect. I never ran from a fight, and I never hid from confrontation. I became accustomed to it. I guess I didn’t really notice it but I had some of that in me. Although I grew up in these conditions, I was determined to find a way out. I knew the only way that could eventuate, was ifI built myself not only physically, but intellectually and spiritually. I read books, I studied, I met with
people who were successful in their own fields and I studied people who had the life I wanted. In the process, I sacrificed a lot. I was working 18 hour days, I networked, and I didn’t have time to explore the world or even enjoy a breath of fresh air, just in case I’d never be able to outgrow my reality at the time. I didn’t have time to play games, or go to parties or waste time. Growing up, love, peace and happiness were concepts I had been deeply skeptical about because I never believed anyone could offer me any of that but me. I never trusted anyone could take care of my heart the way I could. But I always knew it was possible somehow. And then I met Luch.
Luchiia was different. She radiated positivity, joy, and a love for life. She had rays of sunlight beaming from those beautiful Bolivian eyes, and love fell off her lips anytime she showed that beautiful Ukrainian smile. She only saw the good in life, and loved new experiences. She was extremely positive. As amazing as she was, sometimes our worldviews clashed. A merger of two different worlds can be difficult, but it has been my personal belief that as long as two people place a higher priority on striving to improve everyday, part of that would include a recognition that adjustments and agreements need to be made if becoming united is important. I am still learning. But I am becoming more trusting and more accepting of the feelings I have and also the feelings Luchiia has. Anyways, back to the story.
When we arrived on campus we went back to our rooms to unpack. That week, we had new mentors. They were Jean and Bruce Bingham. Jean was the General Relief Society President for five years. They were great. Mentors usually give participants 30 minutes to privately catch up so Luch and I took advantage of this. In my meeting with them, (and with every other mentor) I shared about my background but mainly about Luchiia. Any wisdom on the topic of love I would be glad to take from couples who had been married for over 20 years.
I had shared with them that I was learning that I truly met my match. Someone I know I could love for the rest of my life.They listened, and gave counsel and at the end of our meeting, Jean said to make sure I send them an invite to the wedding. She gave me her and Bruce’s email to indicate her seriousness. Throughout this week Jean and Bruce gave Luchiia and I wisdom. Over breakfast, Lunch and dinner. I appreciated their wisdom and kindness. By the end of the week, I did something else completely random. I was due to meet with a friend and potential business colleague in London, which just so happened to be the same week Luchiia’s sister had her birthday.
So I decided to book a flight that week with her to travel to the UK together. As random as that is, the most random part was actually wanting to meet her family. We didn’t have an opportunity to say goodbye to the Binghams, but when we came back to campus the following week, Jean had left Luchiia and I a gift of chocolates each. On the day we were due to depart, we loaded up our bags in Lindas car (Russell Grimmets wife) and made our way to Prague with Yenfer and Angelina. Jen and Angelina were going to our groups service project so after we dropped them off to the chapel, Linda was kind enough to get Luch and I to the airport for our flight.
Chapter 4: I love You
I wont lie, I was super excited, but I was quietly terrified. Excited because I was with the love of my life, traveling for the first time to another country. Terrified because I really wanted to make a good impression on Luchiias family. I never have problems meeting new people and worry even less about being liked or hated. But this was different. We were waiting at our gate sharing a sandwich and while eating, I looked over at Luch and realized that I really really really love this girl. And that if I really did love this girl I knew I would love her family. How can you be grateful for the fruit, without a deep appreciation for the tree? When I thought of this I was calm. Whether they loved me or not was out of my control. I knew I loved them already and that’s all that mattered.
When Luch and I arrived in Luton, we waited for her parents to arrive from Romania. When they finally arrived, I hung back and just watched Luchiia run up to her mum and dad and hug them. I was completely emotional. I saw a little girl safe in the embrace of her Parents. I introduced myself to her parents.They were so sweet. Her mother had the smile of an angel and her dad had the calm temperament that my father had. We spent the night at her sister’s house with her husband. They were lovely hosts. We played badminton at the local rec center and enjoyed a walk near a castle.
We ended the day with dinner in Nottingham with her family. It was special. It was Luchiias sister’s birthday, but also my only opportunity to ask permission to date Luchiia exclusively and seriously. So after we were done with eating I asked Luchiias sister if she could kindly translate what I had to say to her parents. She politely obliged.
I hadn’t consulted with Luchiia beforehand but I knew I wanted to. I took a deep breath, turned to her parents who were seated next to me and proceeded to speak. “I have enjoyed getting to know Luchiia for the last couple of months. And in the process I have developed deep feelings for her. In my culture it is important to ask permission from a young lady’s parents to date seriously. With this I also came to seek your permission to date Luchiia seriously.” I may be paraphrasing but you get the gist. From what I remember I think they were surprised I had asked for permission, but I hope they did appreciate it, plus I really wanted and still want Luch to feel special, because for me she is so precious.
At the end of the day, Luchiia and I farewelled her family and caught our bus down to London. We were supposed to stay at my friend’s house but we arrived in London at 10pm. The next day we were supposed to catch up with my friend, sadly, we weren’t able to make it happen. So Luchiia and I went sightseeing. It was so good to be in London with the girl that I love. Two things I didn’t think I’d be able to say just a few months before. The following day, in true Luchiia fashion, we almost missed our flight - translation, we made our flight right on time. I learned something else about Luch. She was completely cool headed or at least seemed so. Anytime we were late, or in any situation, Luchiia never panicked and never got frustrated. Another one of the best qualities she has.
The UK was a great experience. I knew that one of the reasons I wanted to meet her family was to see how Luchiia was with them. It was an experience. I saw a little girl who loved her family very much. I was humbled to have met her family, and had the opportunity to travel with her. It was business as usual when we came back to campus. Movies, walks, classes, gym, the works. We were nearing the end of the semester and had decided to spend our last two weekends in Cumorah. We had the last few assignments left, final tests and final presentations. I was dreading the end of Cumorah. I knew I would miss Luchiia terribly, and may not be able to pursue the expansion I’d wanted for work in Brisbane.
One evening, I was sitting alone in the common room. I had many things on my mind. But most of the pressure that arose in my mind was the dream of expanding projects into Australia for work, and my dream of finding and nourishing love, and eventually becoming a husband and father. I saw this as a test, between what ive been working so hard for, and what my heart desired. After much thought, prayer and deep meditation, I decided to step away from the work I’d spent years building in New Zealand. I knew I was capable of building another company and career, but I could not reorchestrate a love like the love I had for Luchiia.
That day, I made a commitment that I would step away, and focus on a career that was more flexible so as to allow me the time to develop this relationship. I knew that if I wouldnt be able to sacrifice my work now, I would never be able to sacrifice it in the future. I loved this girl.I knew that the decision I had made 1. Felt good and 2. Felt right. I have made good on that promise, and looking back now, if I hadn’t made that sacrifice, many other things would not come to fruition. I knew Luchiia wouldn’t understand how big a sacrifice this was, but I knew how much it meant. I spent so many hours building this, building myself, hours spent working, going to meetings, sleeping in my car, office and not only getting rejected but going back to home and no one understanding what I was doing. At least, I hope Luchiia will understand that I’ve meant every word, and hope that she realizes that I really do love her.
The closer we were to the end of the semester, the more I knew I had found my person. The mentor for the week that was, was a lady by the name of Paulette Kirkham. She was a good friend of Bob’s wife, so she had already been briefed on Luchiia and I’s story. When she arrived and we met, she said “Julius, I have heard a lot about you. Now where is that beautiful Luchiia I’ve been hearing about?” I responded and said she was resting. They eventually met over lunch and the week went by as per usual. During our mentor one on one meeting, I also shared my background with Paulette. Naturally, I shared with her mainly about my sweetheart Luchiia.
During our conversation, I shared with her a philosophy I had with regards to relationships in general but specifically about my relationship with Luchiia. We all dream of love. Even eternal love. Love that lasts, and love that stands the test of time. Love that the movies portray and love that seems to only exist in fairytales. We aspire to love as the end result, but disregard the necessity of aspiring to cultivate the strength and endurance to build and maintain love. I gave Paulette the allegory of the wood copper. If love is comparable to warmth, in this allegory, love is fire. Fire also gives warmth. But what makes fire? It takes more than just a spark, but also firewood. And in order to have firewood, one must brave any weather condition, to chop down trees, carry that wood home, and chop the wood to make fire.
There are many who aspire to sit only in the warmth of the fire, with no willingness to continuously provide wood to ensure the fire keeps burning. Similarly, many indulge in enjoying the warmth of love, with no consideration of maintaining this love. Most run once the flame burns out, perhaps in search for another place where the fire is burning. Some enjoy only the heat, with no thought of staying at all. I explained to Paulette that the love I have for Luchiia isn’t merely an enjoyment of feelings, but a commitment to improve and maintain the love that I have for her.
I took pride in not only sitting with Luchiia next to the fire, but also in going out daily to fetch, and chop wood so that the fire continues to burn. I knew in my heart that when I fell in love with Luchiia, I would chop the wood whether it was sunny, rainy or in the middle of winter, to ensure we could enjoy a lifetime’s supply of warmth and love. She asked me to share it with the academy and I did. She also tried to convince me to give a Ted talk on it but I think I’ll pass. In truth, this was only a commitment I had made to Luchiia. It’s an allegory that can be applied in several different aspects of life. Rather than commit to the outcome, if you commit to the process, the outcome will be an inevitability.
The week of public speaking assignments and final assessments were finally upon us. I won’t lie, when I started dating Luch, everything else went on cruise control. One time while we were sitting outside the common room, I couldn’t stop laughing. I was half asleep and maybe a bit groggy, but I started talking all sorts of honest truths. “Luch, do you know what I may have realized? I don’t think I came all the way to the Czech Republic to learn about public speaking or about writing business plans. I came to meet you!” I couldn’t stop laughing while I was talking because I thought it was true. “Do you think I don’t know how to write a business plan or give a speech? I can do all of those things. I’m sure I’m only here to meet you”. The laughing continued and Luchiia was laughing also, probably thinking i’d gone crazy. On another similar occasion, I had slept for two days, and Luchiia and I were on the couch in the common room next to the library. She encouraged me to sleep more but while she was talking I looked at her and asked her a simple, maybe not simple, but a question. “Luch, would you marry me?” I could see that she was surprised, and caught off guard. She had a smile on her face and told me that I was just saying that because I was tired. “No, I’m being forreal. Would you marry me?” she paused for a second and said “yes. I would.” I was surprised at her response. To be fair, I thought she was completely out of my league but she said she would. All of a sudden I wasn’t tired anymore and felt like bloody flying.
Chapter 5: We’ve Only Just Begun
On March 25, we had a Ukrainian night/party. It was also a very very special day. It was the 75th day of Luchiias 75 hard challenge. It was so important for Luch. But it was also super important for me. I had seen Luchiias dedication, commitment and absolute discipline on display every single day. I had and continue to have a very deep respect for Luchiia because I was fortunate enough to witness this first hand. That day, I enlisted the help of a few friends. I had run to the store to buy flowers and a cake for Luch. I asked the Ukrainians for a few minutes after their presentation so that I could present flowers, cake and a sash made by our team to celebrate her finishing.
They kindly obliged. I remember feeling super nervous that night. I had never done anything like that for anyone before. But it was such a special achievement and I was so proud that my sweetheart finished it. I would’ve done anything to celebrate her! When the girls were done with their presentation, I walked to the front of the room and took the mic. I’m sure everyone thought I was about to propose. (I totally would have but then again I didnt want to do that at the academy haha). I can’t remember what I said but I did say what was on my heart about the sweetest most dedicated woman I know. I asked her to come up and she had this huge smile on her face. She accepted the gifts and we embraced and kissed in front of everyone. I was so proud of my girl and she deserved all of that love and more! In our last week, Luchiia encouraged us to be more engaged in final assessments. Mainly me. I’d been swanning around being too in love to worry about preparing for assessments and public speaking. I prepared as best I could and finalized everything before the day we were due to speak.
Luchiia on the other hand was not quite prepared. The day before we were due to give our speeches, Luch and I had a disagreement. We hadn’t talked that morning. I arrived at the Zebra room where we were due to observe, and took a seat. Luchiia came afterward when most seats were taken, and then sat next to me. For the longest time we didn’t hold hands. I remember I was upset with something but for the life of me I could not remember what thinking back now. We sat next to each other without a word or a single touch. It felt so weird and so wrong. By the first hour, we had a 15 minute break. I took Luchiias hand, and she leaned on my shoulder. I gave her a hug and apologized to her. I really needed that hug. I need that hug right now. We gripped each other’s hands for the next hour session and once our observation was done, we walked outside. We had 5 hours before it was our turn to give our presentations. When I was walking Luch, I could tell she was upset about something.
When we arrived to the front doorstep of her room she turned to me and said, “Julius, I’m not giving my presentation. I’m not prepared and I don’t want to do it.” I hit the panic button. With all the love I could muster up, I remember putting aside the justifiable reasons I was upset and gently grabbed her by the shoulders and told her we were not going to quit on this assignment. I told to gather her belongings and laptop, and meet me in the room near the laundry room. She reluctantly obliged and met me there. We spent the next few hours rehearsing, putting together slides and preparing for this assignment. I could tell Luch really did not want to do it but she put on her smile and followed me anyway. She gave an amazing speech about Charisma. I was so proud of her and even more proud that she hadn’t given up. I knew if I could help her overcome her fears of not being prepared enough and become more concerned with not quitting, eventually, quitting anything else wouldn’t be an option. Yes, even including quitting on our relationship. The last week was finally upon us. I knew I was leaving earlier than the others and so I did my best to make the most of my time in the academy but more importantly with Luch. I organized a photoshoot with her on our last week with Lubosh.
On the morning of the shoot, we caught the bus to Prague so Luch could find an outfit. She bought this beautiful black top with white jeans. She looked stunning. When we arrived to our final stop on our way back, we took one final walk from the bus stop to the academy, crossing farmland, and a large bale of hay we once hid behind so that I could answer a work call one time while we were walking. We reflected on our time together, but honestly, I was dreading not being with Luchiia. When we arrived on campus Luch and I had a quick lunch then both got ready. At the end of the day, we went to the lake we spent hours looking for on our first few walks. We took so many pictures. It was a beautiful sunset. We had an amazing view of the sun falling when we went back to campus by the tree and took photos there. I’m not the most photogenic person, but I knew my love would appreciate it. Ironically, I find myself staring at these photos many times throughout the day.
I now had hours left before I was due to leave. Luchiia had been up all night writing a box full of notes that were called the “Open when” notes. They comforted me immensely. I spent my last few hours with my sweetheart until it was time to go to the airport. When 3am rolled around, my bags were all packed, and farewelled some students who were downstairs in the common room waiting. Myself, Luch, Gianca, Dayanna and Lubosh, who was driving me, jumped into his car and started for the airport. The whole ride to the airport I was holding in tears not knowing when I would see Luchiia again. I knew I would, I just wasn’t sure when. I only knew what was in my heart, and what was in my heart was that I would never look at anyone else the way I look at her.
She completely had my heart. I held her hand the whole ride. When we finally arrived at the airport, I checked my bags in and made my way to the departure section with the crew. I said my goodbyes to my dear friends who came, and gave one last embrace to Luchiia. That was a very difficult goodbye for me. I gave her one last kiss and headed into departure. Before heading to my gate, I gave her one last look and waved her farewell. I remember sitting at my gate saying “well, just you again.”
After some time passed, I took out the box Luchiia gifted me. The first note I saw was, “Open when you see an airplane”. I melted in my seat at the gate, Tears came down my face uncontrollably, my glasses weren’t hiding anything. I missed this girl so much, in a way I hadn’t missed anyone before. We would message and call while I would spend the next forty hours traveling back. When I arrived in Brisbane, my new home. I did not feel like I was home. In fact I felt like I was miles away from home. I was. The next few days, Luchiia and I would video call, while trying to manage distance and time difference. I was so affected by the fact that she wasn’t by my side anymore. During the day I would work on certain projects for some time, but the bulk of my time was spent looking for work. After sacrificing what I had built in New Zealand, I was committed to finding work that would allow me the flexibility I needed. Opportunities have come since then, but I still find myself in the same predicament today. The only difference is that I accept my current situation for what it is and look forward to welcoming the right opportunity when it comes. After just under two weeks of being apart, I received a distressing message from Luch. I was in the gym and her message caught me completely off guard. I was troubled, upset, and sad. But I was more concerned about how Luchiia might have felt. We spoke that night on the phone and I could hear in her voice that she was sad.
After that call, I knew I was not going to sit idly knowing that this girl that I love might be hurt. At that moment I pulled out my phone, and booked a return trip to Romania. The following day, I packed and left. It was another forty hour trip back to Europe. I was determined to prove to this girl that I would do absolutely anything for this love. When I finally arrived, I caught an uber to her apartment and messaged her using a strangers hotspot. When she finally came down, she looked through the glass door and saw me standing there. She was in complete shock. I almost didn’t know if she was happy to see me or not. She was. I think she just never thought I’d be crazy enough to fly halfway around the world and wind up at her doorstep. She took me to her apartment where I met her brother, who I found to be a very friendly man.
That night we went exploring the city, had dinner and talked. During this trip, we were able to learn more about each other, and discuss things at length in person, because there are just some things that need to be discussed in person, that would seem so silly if discussed over a phone. During this trip, Luchiia and I were able to spend time with her parents. On our first trip to Constanta, we had lunch with her parents at their house. We talked, shared food and enjoyed one anothers company. Her father then asked us what our plans were. I had been meaning to talk to her parents privately but he had asked us while Luchiia was next to me. As a side note, I messaged a Russian friend if he could help me translate some words I wanted to ask Luchiias parents. He sent a recording and I did my best to memorize it, but it just wasn’t coming out right. So when her father asked us, I looked at Luch and asked if she could translate. I looked at her parents and expressed my gratitude to them for allowing me to have Luchiia as my girlfriend, but that my intentions have moved beyond that. I asked them for their blessing to marry their daughter. And they kindly said yes. Her mother then asked us an inspired question, “Do you believe you have enough love to sustain you throughout life?” I wept and shared that my love for their daughter continues to grow every single day. I expressed to them the allegory of the wood chopper and that I would not pursue Luchiia if I didn’t think I was capable of providing the materials everyday to ensure she has fire and love to keep her warm.
We spent those two weeks as best we could. Eating, training, exploring, and enjoying one another’s company. I enjoyed watching Luchiia maintain her home, prepare meals for us, and just be herself in her own space. I was thoroughly impressed. Looking back now, had I not made adjustments to my career, I would have never been able to visit Luchiia. Everything seems to happen for a reason. Decisions that seems so random and difficult, so long as they feel right and good, end up working for your good anyway. At least that has been my experience. On my final day, while Luch was in the kitchen, I couldn’t help but think about my life since she’d been in my life. I hadnt experienced this depth of love, gratitude and positivity before. At that moment I knew I couldn’t imagine my life
without this girl. I took a ring that sat on a table in her room, asked her if I could say something and started off by apologizing. I wasn’t prepared because the primary reason for my visit was to discuss important matters. But but the end of my trip I knew for sure I wouldn’t find anyone like Luchiia, and that life without her just seemed so vacuous. I promised I would do a proper proposal but I looked at her, and asked her if she would marry me. She said yes. I look forward to surprising her with the proposal and marriage she deserves, but at that moment, for me, I just had to know she wanted what I did. A life together. I bought her flowers and wrote a heartfelt card, and lay down reflecting on my life up to the point I fell in love with Luchiia. No one will ever know, the path God chose for me and everything I have had to overcome. Everything hit me at once, and I just couldn’t stop sobbing. I was happy. I was peaceful. At the airport, I kissed my love goodbye, and came back to Brisbane.
Since my arrival back home, I have put this memoir together in hopes to encapsulate such a peculiar love story, but also as a dedication to the love of my life. The beauty of this story is that it is constantly developing. The happily ever after, is just a series of episodes where we both will face challenges together, overcome them, learn from them and love each other more. I have spent every available hour, outside of working and looking for jobs, daily routines and the gym, working on this passion project. It has been a great source of love, where with each page and each word and each memory I fall deeper in love with my sweetheart Luchiia. Of course there are many other things that have happened that will remain personal to us. There also may be additional context Luchiia can add from her perspective on our love story. In this text, are all my thoughts and feelings. Deep, honest, and true. It is June 4 today, our third month together officially. I would like to now talk directly to my dear sweetheart Luchiia.
To my Ukrainian, Bolivian queen,
It has been an absolute honor getting to know you. As I consider all of the memories we have shared, both told in this story and those kept to ourselves, it is evident that no author could have put this together, and no numbers could have predicted this. I believe it was orchestrated from the most high. I needed the life I had, to be who I needed to be for you. You needed the life you had, to be who I needed you to be for me.
You are my peace, and I am your safety. You are my happiness, and I am your strength. You are my love, and I am your protector. I have so many experiences with you that have not made it into this piece, but I have all the evidence I need to know and feel your love for me. There have been songs, poems, and motion pictures made about love, but nothing yet about our unique love. I am peace with myself, and with my life. I have never been one to look back, or even look back longingly.
Whatever fears you or I have about the future or the unknown, I know that a constant effort to improve and a willingness to forgive will alleviate any of these. I encourage both of us to pour into each other, but do allwe can to allow God to pour into us. If eternal love is what we desire, the Eternal Father is who we must seek. I trust His love for us, will sustain us through lifes unpredictability.
I dedicate this story to you, to us, and to what the most high intends for us to have in the future, and in His time. Although oceans stand between us physically, I feel close to you spiritually. Our souls are intertwined and dance along fates watchful eye. You are loved by me in this life, and in the next. May God continue to watch over us as we continue to write our story into the eternities.
With all my love, Julius
