Julie Kendrick for MN Parent -- Exchange Student Hosting

august 2012

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tC polo Club builds community of horse enthusiasts {page 20}

Snapdragon Seeds founder Steve Sanders {page 46}

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school Read on for cool products, great savings, and good books!

hoStinG An eXChAnGe StUdent How little ones can learn from a new big “brother” or “sister” {Page 16}

PoLiCe offiCerS in the SChooLS? Let’s call them what they really are: peace officers {Page 36}

from dent, Anna (center), es with exchange stu The Foss family pos Parma, Italy.

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It’s a small world What hosting an exchange student can teach your young kids

By Julie Kendrick

“T

here are more cultures in the world than just ours, and more ways that people live than just our way.” That, succinctly, is what Lisa Foss says her children learned

when their family hosted a teenaged exchange student. Foss and her husband, who live in Tonka Bay, hosted a 17-year-old girl from Parma, Italy last year, when their sons, Sawyer and Kristian, were five and seven years old.

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Foss is just one of many local parents who think that perhaps the perfect time to add a teenager from another country to their family is while their kids are still young. “I’ve noticed that they asked her a lot of questions about what happens in her country, and for me that’s a good indicator that they’re interested in something more than themselves,” she says.

Finding a fit Steve and Rebekah Adams hosted 12 consecutive exchange students in the Twin Cities, beginning when their children were seven and three years old. Says Steve, “We initially asked our kids, ‘How would you feel about a big brother or sister?’ and it just sort of went from there. We’d ask again every year and they always said they’d like to host another student. We looked for someone who indicated a preference for little kids, was comfortable with pets, and enjoyed sports, because we all do. We figured the rest was negotiable, and we were always open to boy or girl.”

One family rule was never to host from the same country twice. “We figured it would help us avoid comparisons, and we got to learn more about the world that way,” he says.

Globe in the living room Foss says that her family registered for an exchange student through American Field Service (AFS). One benefit of the program, she felt, was the participation of a liaison, a volunteer who conducts periodic checks on the progress of families. Sheila Todd, an AFS liaison who lives in Minnetonka, says her role is to be intermediary and safety net for hosting families and exchange students alike.

“I’m the ‘American aunt’ for them,” she explains. It’s a role she’s been filling for about 10 years, since her son was small.

While the Todds have never hosted a student themselves (“Our house is just too small,” she confesses), their family has been able to capitalize on the chance to travel vicariously. “We keep a globe in our living room, and whenever we hear about the home country of a kid we’ve known, our son, Will, races to the globe

to check it out. He’s met people of all different cultures, ethnicities, and religions, and I think it’s helped him become a more compassionate person as a result,” she says.

Benefits on both sides One benefit in hosting, says Steve Adams, is that the exchange students they hosted were often academically and competitively oriented, which, he said, “made them good role models for our younger ones.” And there are benefits that extend in the other direction, as well. A house with younger children can often provide a warmer atmosphere for a far-from-home exchange student. Jennifer Niemeier, an AFS Chapter Coordinator, was herself a teen exchange student. She touts the benefit of hosting when your own kids are young. “I think younger kids are generally more accepting, so you won’t hear snarky comments like ‘You’re wearing that?’ or ‘You talk funny.’ Younger kids have lives that are changing all the time, anyway, so they’re more likely to go with the flow,” she observes. Her own family hosted a French exchange student, and within weeks of the girl’s arrival, she reports, her small boys were drawing family pictures that included their “new big sister.”

Todd says, “It can be more comfortable to come home from school and chat with little kids, because then the students don’t need to keep up that ‘cool’ façade or feel that they’re competing with another teen.

They can read books or play video games with those younger kids, and learn English while they’re having fun. Some of the best success stories I’ve seen have come from families with younger children. The exchange students will tell me, ‘I came here to make teenage friends, and I feel so lucky that I got an American family, too.’”

Parenting practice run Todd also notes that having a small child and a reason to connect with teens in her neighborhood has provided benefits for her own parenting, too. “It’s what I call ‘a selfish silver lining,’” she says. “It’s good to meet parents whose kids are a little

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older than your own, because it can really expand your network.” Foss agrees, saying, “I never would have had a reason to go into our local high school if we hadn’t hosted a student, but now I’ve seen it in action and I’ve been impressed.” She adds, “I’ve been able to tap into a network of parents with older kids, and I’ve learned how parents talk about issues and keep in touch these days.” Steve Adams also praised the “practice run” aspect of hosting a teen. “Any issue we had with our exchange kids, our younger kids saw us work through it, so they realized that problems can be dealt with and resolved.

We all learned that no matter what country they were from, teens everywhere shared ups and downs.”

drive time downside Of course, there can be challenges to accepting a new person into your home, and teenagers are, after all, teenagers.

Most exchange programs offer orientation sessions and frequent networking opportunities, so you’ll have an idea how to set expectations and work through any difficulties.

When asked about the biggest drawback to hosting a teenage exchange student, the answer came through loud and clear from many families: more driving. Most programs prohibit students

from driving in the U.S., so host families find that their drive time can increase significantly, especially with a busy teenager. But families have found solutions, including starting up their own carpools with other parents for afterschool events and activities, or by insisting that teens arrange their own transportation for outings. Steve Adams, the 12-time host dad, says, “We always taught them how to start making calls to friends and figuring out rides right away.”

But transportation difficulties aside, he insists that it’s all been worth it. “The biggest advantage has been that our kids learned a great deal of patience with people who are different. They looked at the world in a different way, and they were a lot nicer with everyone they met,” he says. •

Then: This 1995 Adams family photo includes Giorgio Saccoia (far back)— the first of 12 AFS exchange students the family hosted.

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Now: Steve Adams and his wife, Rebekah pose with their children, Ian and Rachel—and their recent Finnish exchange student, Paula Lipsanen (far left), in Paris, France.

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Getting started Jennifer Niemeier, AFS Chapter Coordinator, says that there are usually year-round chances to host a student, including second-semester students who arrive in January. Before selecting an organization, she recommends ensuring that they are on the advisory list of the Council on Standards for International Educational Travel (CSIET). While every organization is different, you should expect to complete an application, have an in-home interview and criminal background check, and then review student profiles with a local volunteer once your application has been approved. To get started, she suggests contacting an organization and requesting that you be allowed to sit in on a chapter meeting and talk with other hosting families. She also recommends that everyone in your family, including young kids, are given a chance to talk about why the family wants to host a student, including pros and cons. (csiet.org) AFS: afsusa.org A nonprofit international exchange organization for students and adults that operates in more than 50 countries, AFS-USA works toward a more just and peaceful world by providing international and intercultural learning experiences to individuals, families, schools, and communities through a global volunteer partnership.

Rotary Youth Exchange More than 80 countries and over 8,000 students each year participate in the program, which is administered at the regional level by Rotary districts and at the local level by Rotary clubs.

Youth for Understanding: yfuusa.org Youth for Understanding (YFU) is a nonprofit international educational organization with programs in 64 countries. Working in partnership with governments, corporations, foundations, school, and educators worldwide to create global learning opportunities, YFU promotes international understanding and world peace.

Compass USA: compass-usa.net If you’d like to start with a shorter time commitment, then you might want to consider Compass USA. This organization specializes in short-term summer homestays that last from 10 days to six weeks. “A summer stay can be a great way to test the waters and see how your family adjusts to a new person in the house,” says Kevlin Catalano, Compass USA’s managing director of group operations. “Although short-term homestays are not regulated by the CSIET, the process for becoming a host family is similar, and includes family interviews and background checks.”

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