Book Of Me - JSam

STORIES OF THE AVERAGE JO

BY JOANNA SAM, 9TH FOR MR RUSSELL

CONT ENTS

PAGE 1

ROLE MODEL

October 3rd, 2022

PAGE 2

I'M BUGGED!

October 16th, 2022

PAGE 3

RECIPE

November 8th, 2022

PAGE 4

NEWS ARTICLE

November 18th, 2022

PAGE 5

POEM

December 4th, 2022

PAGE 6

HATCHET/PUFF PIECE

December 8th, 2022

PAGE 7

MIXTAPE

February 9th, 2023

PAGE 8

EXPERIMENTAL

February 23rd, 2023

PAGE 9

ACTION FIGURE

March 9th, 2023

PAGE 10

LETTER

April 20th, 2023

PAGE 11

OBJECT

April 30th, 2023

PAGE 12

MANIFESTO

May 15th, 2023

MY ROLE MODEL

To have a role model is a very complex subject, something that sounds interestingandyetisveryhardtonavigate.Thisisbecausefirstofall,there’sno one that I really look up to in terms of my goals or dreams; often they’re just peoplewhoIadmire,butnotreallybasemyaspirationson.They’renotpeople that I look up to, people I want to be like, people I base my personality or expectationsorgoalson.Ratherthey’rejusthumansthatIadmire,peoplethatI amfascinatedby.Mostofthese“rolemodels”arepeopleI’velearnedaboutfrom thetimeIknewhowtoread,womenlikeFlorenceNightingaleorIdaScudder

Butwheneversomeonetoldmeaboutsuchladies,theywouldalwaysfollowup by saying, they’re themselves but you ’ re you. There’s no other you. Don’t base yourlifeoffofwhattheydid,becausetheircallingandtheirlifestorywillalways be different from yours; so to look up to them would be to pressure yourself to somethingyou’renot,afterall,they’renotperfecteither.Ifthereisanyoneyou lookupto,itwouldbeGod.Havinggrownupwithsuchamentality,answering thequestion,“Whoisyourrolemodel?”hasalwaysbeenreallyhard

Even when I think of such stories, there’s never really one person that I can circle down to There’s always some aspect of their lives that no matter how much I try, I can never relate to. For example, Florence Nightingale, one of the first female pioneers in medicine that I had learned about, was very inspirationaltome.ButshewasdifferentfrommeinthatIwasacoloredwoman with a dream in Western Medicine, and so my experiences would always be differentfromNightingale’s.ItwasthesamewithIdaScudder;comingfroman Indiancommunity,thestandardsthatweresetforme,theexpectationslaidon meandtherestrictionsIhad,whetherculturallyorreligiously,wouldalwaysbe different from her, and so, there would always be a barrier in relating to her Thus,I’vealwaysbeenhesitantwhenitcomestorelatabilitytothese“idols.”

Because of this, whenever someone asks me if I have a role model, I just say, I don’thaveone!Ijusthaveme,andthat’senough!

A RECIPE FOR ME

INGREDIENTS

1/2tspreticenceseeds

3tbsplackofconfidenceoil

8tbspsarcasmpowder(note:can bepowerful,butIrecommend themorethebetter!)

6tbspover-forgivingpowder

3tbsplogicandreasonpowder

2tbspsleepypowder(note:this measurementcanchangevery easily)

3absent-mindednesscloves

1unnecessarycuriositybunch, chopped

5stronglaughterleaves(note: especiallyaromaticwhenleftin wrongtimewater)

2sprigsofanxietyleaves

2cupsofterriblehumor

3cupsofhugsandeverything lovely

6cupsofpatience

1kgmysteryfish,marinatedin enigma(secretive)

Artsandliteraturetotaste(note: preferablyaround3-5tsps)

Judgment/judgyfacetotaste

1.Pourthelackofconfidenceoilontoaclay potandheatit.It'sbesttouseaclay pot/chattibecauseitgivesadown-to-earth flavor.

2Heatthereticenceseedsintheoil,and whenitopensup/popsthenaddthesarcasm powderandtheover-forgivingpowder.The over-forgivingshouldbalancethesarcasm, whichcancomeoffastoosour/spicybased onyourtaste Thiswilltakeawhiletosaute

3.Thenaddhugs,laughter,patience,and terriblehumor;thiswillcomplimentthe logicandreasonpowder,sleepypowder,and theanxietyleaves.

4.Addjudgmentandarts&literature.

5.Finallyaddabsent-mindedness;withthat, you 'redonewiththespices.Leavethistoboil, andwhenitdoes,addthemysterypiecesand cookfor30-45minsinaclosedpot. Remembertogivethemystery(fish)some alonetime!

6.Whenitreachesthedesiredconsistency, removethepotfromtheheat.

7.Garnishwithunnecessarycuriosityleaves andserve!

8Servewithasideofbutterflypeaflower tea...becausenooneknowswhatthatis.Just likeme!

BASED ON MULLAKU MEEN CURRY

Endsuphospitalizedforafewdays

Late into the night of the 15th, 3-year-old Jenissa Sam, pushed her older sister, Joanna Sam, onto a sharp bed corner, causing the 6year-old girl to bruise her head. According to an eyewitness, Ms. Sam, Joanna began to cry out loudly, getting the attention of both her grandparents, who rushed to the scene Sam said, "I was doing my hair when I heard a scream from the bedroom I rushed out to see Joanna on the floor, blood all over her frock,crying.ButbeforeIcouldaskherwhat happened,shefellunconscious."

Joanna was then rushed to the nearest hospital, Zulekha Dubai Hospital, and admitted to the emergency unit, where she got6stitchestostopthebleeding.

Friday,19November2022

Overthecourseofthenextfewdays,Joannawillbe constantly reporting to the hospital to avoid any further infections Mr Sam worries that this might disrupt the plans they had with Joanna's grandparents who had come to UAE from India for a couple of weeks. As for future implications for Joanna's health, doctors say a permanent scar on thebackofherheadistheworstpossiblescenario.

At the time of reporting, Joanna is still in the hospital, with a nurse by her side at most times When asked what happened, she said that her 'vazhikali' (troublemaker in Malayalam) sister killed her. Mr. Sam jokingly added, Jennie (aka Jenissa) isn't normally this naughty; his wife noddingsarcastically.

DARLIN, YOU'RE A MASTERPIECE

Apainteroncetookablankcanvas, Andsettingitonaneasel,beganworking.

Beginningwithawashofpurple,andshadesofmidnightblue Hestartedpaintingwhatseemedtobeanightsky.

Slowly,Hepaintedlayersandlayers, Sometimesleavingthepaintingalonefordays. ThoughthepaintingwouldwonderwhyHewouldgiveupallofasudden, Shecouldalwaysfeelthepainterhoveringnear

Sometimesshefeltbetterwearingrandomblobsofcolors, Smudgedinthewrongdirection,

Thanthemostexquisitesketchesoftheraretreesacrossthehorizon. Shelikedthesimplebetter.

Butotherdaysshewouldwonder, Whytheotherpaintingsseemedmoreprettierthanher

‘Whypaintaboringeveningonme?

Whynotaportraitormaybeabeautifulflower?

Whyjustmountainsandabunchoftrees?’

Sometimesshehatedhowhowthepainterwouldusehardbrushes, Somepointy,somethin,somesharp, Howeverybrushstrokewasapainfulscar, Andallshecoulddowaswinceinpain.

Thepaintingoftentriedadvisingthepainter ‘Maybethat’snottherightblue,’

‘Ouch!Don’tyourealizehowscarringthatbrushwas,’ ‘Ithinkyoushouldpaintsomethingelseonme.’

Andallthepainterwoulddowassmileandnod AsthoughHecouldn’thearher.

SometimesshewonderedwhyHenevergaveuponher, Despitehowuglyshethoughtshewas.

‘WhydoesHekeepcomingback, Workingonmeeveryday?

Isn’tHetiredofme?’

Untiloneday,shesawabottleofwhitepaintinHishands, Acommonsightintheartstudio.

ButinsteadofpaintingasmalldetaillikeHealwaysdid, Hepoureditalloverthepainting.

Slowlybrushingitacrossthewholecanvas, Shefinallyfelttheglossofbeingafinishedwork. Shesawherselfforthefirsttime, IntheshineofHisproudeyes.

“Ahhh,nowthatiswhatIcallamasterpiece,” Thepaintersaid,smilingwidely,lookingather. Andforthefirsttime,sheheardHisvoice, BeamingwithjoyoverHiswork.

Hesaid,crouchingtothecornerofthecanvas, Hewrotesomethingonher.

“TitledMyself,SignedGod.”

“Ohalmostforgot!”

A LETTER FROM SUM ALIENS

AlettertoPlanetEarth,intendedforaspeciescalled humans.

Fromyourfavoriteextraterrestrials,ghosts.

Hi!I’mJoannaandourgovernmentisdoingaspace explorationprogram Wedecidedtoexploreyour planet,Earth,today!Thisisthefirstletterofthe communicationscheme I’mgonnatalktoyouabout mybestdayandmyworstday.

IwokeuptothesoundofUFOsatthewindow.Just likeeveryotherday.ButlittledidInoticeinmy sleepywakethatthosewerered,asignofgoodluck!

Thisisbecausetheredonesareveryrareinourland. Unobservant,Ithrewmyheavyblanketoff,putonmy ghostcape(ghostsneedtowearacapetobeseenby others;otherwiseweareinvisible)andheadedtothe bathroom.Iwasworkingasamaidinoneofthe biggestandoldestvolcanoesroundhere,sowork began“earlyandbright!”Ugh.Itwastiringwork,but ithadagoodreputation;everyoneinschoolalways buzzedabouttheownersofthevolcanoIworkedat, themysteriousbutrich;)MsDane.Idustedthehalls andthefirst2guestbedrooms,andnowalreadytired, gotreadyforschool

ButtodaywasspecialbecauseasImademywayto theschool,mypilottalkedtomeaboutalegendfrom ourlands.Ashezoomedthebluestreakedjetacross thepurpleskiesofStarla,hementionedthathe heardsomerumorsabouttheLegendoftheAshes Lovers

“Doyouknowthelegend?”

“Uhmno,”*awkwardsmile*

“Ahhhh,it’sashametheydon’tteachitanymore. Well,you’regoingtoschoolandit’sprobablythereat thelibrary.Youshouldgoreadit!”

Iwantedtoaskhimtotellmealready,causemy curiositydidn’thavetimetowaittillafterschoolto read Eventhen,ourlibraryhaslikenothinginit Theymadeuspayforitwhentheschoolyearstarted andthencompletelyforgotaboutit.Whatawasteof crypto!

Andlikethat,Iwalkedintoschool,extremelycurious, alreadymakinguptheoriesinmyheadfromwhatI’d heardofthelovers.Isteppedontothefloatingdisc thattravelstotheentranceoftheschoolgrounds (ourschoolisonanisland,hencethereasonfor flying) AsIslowlyflewtowardstheschool,Ihearda lotmorenoisethanusual Iwasconfused,thatisuntil Isawahugebannerspreadoutacrossthespires.“No SchoolToday.”Weretheyforreal?WILLIGETTO HAVEFUNALLDAY???

Iranthroughthecanalsystemofourschool,dodging thetallreeds I’veheardreedsfromPlanetEarthare veryshort,shorterthanaghost,butforus,thereeds areverytall;theycouldbethepillarsofastructure,if onlytheyweremorethick IsawKatandMarnearthe cafeteriaentrance,andIrantothem.

“DIDYOUHEAR??”

“Yesyesweknow.Idon'tcareaslongasyouand Khadijadon’tkeepmestuckinthelibrarythewhole day.”

Katfellbackinlaughter,“That’sdefinitelynotwhat we ’regoingtodo”

Andlikethatbeganmybestday Wefirstgottotalk totheflowersofthecanalsystemforthefirsttime,all Ieverdidwassitbackandadmirethem.Wethen wenttothecafeteriatotryoutthenewnitreglob(for Earthersreading,it’slikeadessertbutit’smadeof nitreandit’sREALLYGOOD!)andeventalkedtoMs Bovisforthefirsttime.She’snotasscaryaswe thought Wethentriedoutthenewcloud,itwas createdbyourcrazyscienceteacher Hemadeanew devicetocarryusbecauseapparentlylightisstilltoo slow.It’seasierforghoststotravelinlightbecausewe don’thaveanymass,butnotforsharksorthe martians.WhichmeansbothKatandMarwill actuallybenefitfromthecloud,butnotme.

Talkingaboutdifferentgroups,upuntiltoday,I hatedbeingaghost There’sveryfewofusbecause mostStarlansaresharks,likeMaryam Andthen therearealsomartiansbutthere’slikenoonethat’sa ghostlikeme.ExceptforAgise.Eventhen,he’sthe onlyoneinthewholeschool!Butallthatchanged today.Aftertestingoutthecloud,whichturnedoutto beveryeffective,maybeabittooeffective,we accidentallygotteleportedtoaforestfromthe boundariesofStarla Itwasoneoftheonesinthe North;Iknewbecausethetreeswerebrightredall yearround,asthoughonlyfallexistedthere And whileMaryamwastryingtofindawayout,andKat wasdoingachromatologyexperimentontheleaves,I wasbusyrunningaroundscreaming.

Irantoablackobjectinthedistancewhichturned outtobeacave,withasigninthefront,reading, Mtindi.

Andthat’swhenthingsgotweird There,afoxcalled forthethreeofusandaskedustofollowhim “Whythehellwouldwefollowafoxwithsilvereyes andmaroonfur?Outofallthingswecouldbe doing?”

“Youreallydon’tknowyourhistorydoyou?”Khadija askedMar.Thefoxchuckled.“Yousharksarereally dumb.”

“Khadija,Idoknowmyhistory.Wesharksknow what’simportant,wedon’tlearnrandomfactsabout foxes Martiansaretooextr-”“She’sreferringtoa legend”ThefoxinterruptedMar

“Youknowyoucouldgetkilledifyoutalklikethatto himright?”Khadijaasked.

Iwasreallyconfused,andI’msureanyonereading feelsthesame.Turnedout,hewasanelderfoxfrom theRaspberryForest,andhewasasignalof somethingimportantcomingup,generallyofdanger Butinsteadofwarningusorpreparingusfor something,hesaidthatheheardmethinkIwanted toreadtheLegendoftheAshesLovers.

“Oh,I’vereadthat,”Khadijasaid. “Iwonderwhy…”thefoxmumbledinadeepvoice.

IlookedovertoMaryam,herfaceplasteredwith confuzzlement Witheverypassingminute,Iwas growingconvincedthatKatandthefoxweretalking insomeotherworldlylanguagethatsharksorghosts justcouldn’tmakeout.

Thatsaid,thedayendedwellbecauseIgottositandreadthroughthe wholelegend,anditwasabouttwolovers,EzeandVella,somewhatlike theRomeoandJulietofStarla.Bothofthemlefttheirownplanetsbecause theywereforbiddentobetogether,andfoundasafeplaceinStarla.But beforetheyleft,manyhadwarnedVellathatEzewasn’tloyal;“heisaloser inthelovegame”Butseeingitasanotherwaytodistracther,Vella overlookedallthattoloveEze Anditturnedoutgood,asbothofthem movedtoathenunderpopulatedStarla,andstartedafamily Thefamily grewtothelikesofagreatmonarchy,bringingforthheroeslikeBolo, KahayaandeventhegreatSesam.Butthisfamilygrewfromtheironeand onlydaughter,whoVellagavebirthtowhenthecouplewasstillyoung. Unfortunately,therumorswereright,Ezewouldn’tstayforlong.When theirdaughterwasjust3monthsold,Ezebegantodistancehimselffrom Vella,andeventuallybreakoff,andthoughitdidn’taffectanyoneback then,itcausescontroversytoday

Yousee,ourcurrentmonarchyisruledbythosebelievedtobethe descendantsofEzeandVella.Theyarecalledflames,andthereare2of themforeachera,andtheyholdStarlatogetherwiththeirlightenergy. ThisisbecauseitisbelievedthatVellaandEzehadspecialgeneticsthat formedtocreateanespeciallytalentedgroupofpeople,andthusthe Starlansvotedtohavethemasrulers.Andtothisday,especiallywhen celebratingNationalDayandPatriarch,MatriarchDay,peoplestillargue astoifEzeshouldberespecteddespitewhathedid UsStarlanshaveof coursedevelopedanegativeimageofhim,whichcausesmuch controversybecausethemonarchsstillregardhimasanimportantfigure

Onethingthatstaysundisputed,wasVella’scontinuedloveforEze, throughouttheyears,untilherdeath.ItissaidthatshewroteletterstoEze eachyear,tellinghimaboutallthemilestonesinherlife,abouttheir daughter,andaboutStarla,asthoughshewasinalong-distance relationship Sadly,wedon’thavetheseletters,butwedohaveasmall smokedartifactthatexpertsbelievetobefromtheirletters Itreads, “Eze,Iwasonfireforyou,andnowallthat’sleftareblackashes”

Thisissaidtobeherlastwords,beforeshediedandthecastleshelivedin wassetonfirebyherclosestsoldiers,onhercommand.Itissaidthatthis castlebecameavolcano;whichvolcano?Nooneknows.Butit’soneofthe volcanoesinStarla.HencewhyIsuddenlygotexcitedaboutmyotherwise dreadlyworkplace DoIstandonthetearsofanestrangedlover?

Butthat’snotthebestpart Theloverswereoriginallyghosts,beforethey becamenaturalizedmartians Wow,justlikeme!There’srarelyany prominentpersonintheghostpopulation,butnowIfoundoutthatoneof themostfamouspeopleinStarlawerebornghosts.Onemorethingtoadd tomyresume!

Iwokeupthenextmorning,andofcoursemoreha cape.Iwas,forthefirsttime,proudofit.AsIcalled mirror,Isawherslipsomethingonbeforecoming “What’sthat?”

“Oh,justaring.”

Thatdidn’tmakesense Shewasamartian,andm becausethey’reallergictojewelry ButbeforeIcou rang,andneonredlinesoutlinedmyroom “Thisisanannouncementfromthemonarchy.As rulingbody,wewillbeginanextermination.Thish before,butithasbeendecidednecessaryforthebe EverybeingonStarlawilldisappear,exceptforthe requiredtoleaveimmediately.Onlythosewhohav Thankyou.”

“WHATTHEHELL?”Katscreamedthroughthemi Isighed Thisiswhathappenswhenyougivepow narcissistswhohavenotalentoftheirownandsol generationancestors.

Aswebeganourworstandlastdayatschool,allcl begintheseparation.Weweredividedintoourgro sharks,andothersmallergroups.Thiswouldbeth Mar,andwebidtearfulfarewells,thoughIknewin thatwewouldfindawayoutofthis,justlikeevery

Butitstartedgettingweird KhadijaandMaryamk thousandproblems,andtheschoolmastersweren theirrightgroups.Somethingwasoffabouttheirb otherdetails.AndasMsBovistriedtofigureoutw out,itdawnedonmewhatthefoxdid.Throughout findamaroonfox,withsilvereyes,itwasasignofb approachedthecave,thesignthatreadMtindiwas era Thisparticularerasawtwoflames,butonlyon rulingthekingdom,theotherdidn’tevenknowsh oneuntilthecrowningceremony Thiswasexactly allaboutthelegendwhileMaryamwasjustlost

Andthen,whatwasthethingthatKatslippedon? andmaybeadirectdescendantofEzeandVella(m candidatefortheflameposition)?Shecouldhave likeme,butthenwhydidsheknowsomuchabout issaidthatonlytheroyalfamilyandthefoxknow explainswhythefoxmumbled,“Wonderwhy ”An heardMsBovistalkingaboutaprophecyaboutthe readintheprophecythatafteralonglineofquiet, flames,therewillbeonelastobstinateflame;afire unknowntoallformerflames.Andthisflamewille Starlaforever.”

ThisdescriptionperfectlyfittedMaryam,andlike piecesinapuzzle,everythingfittogether.Theywere theflames,andIneededtotellthekingbeforehe exterminatedthem.Ifhedid,everythingwould collapse(consideringtheflamesheldStarla together) ButasIwasthinkingofthesetheories,the schoolmastersquicklysortedMaryamandKhadija outintogroups Ihadtoworkfast Theybeganthe extermination,startingfromtheNorthernmost regionsdownSouth.Iftherewasanywayof reachingtheking,Ihadtoriskitallandescapethe groupings.Afterall,I’maghost.Theworstthatcould happenisleavingStarlaforever.

Knowingthis,Iranthroughthehideofthetall reeds,outoftheschool Igrabbedthecloudonthe wayandflewtothecastle Noonecaredabout securitythatday;thewholeworldwasgoingtodie infivesecondsanyway.Itookmycapeoff,making myselfinvisible,andranthroughthesoldiers,who unbeknownstofmyexistence,closedthepalace gates.Irantothemainhall,andquicklyopenedthe doors

Fallingtotheground,Iscreamed,“OHDEARKING! LISTENTOME!Theflamesyou’vedesignatedare nottheoriginalflames.Therealonesareinthe deathqueue,waitingfortheirextermination!Ifyou letthispassby,everyoneandeverythingwill collapse,includingyouMajesty!”Butnoone responded Howdidtheynotseeme?OHSHOOT!I hadforgottenmycapeatthemosaics Iranbackand grabbedit.ThenrunningtotheEmperor,Iyelledat him,screamingKHADIJAANDMARYAMWERE THEFLAMESOFTHISERA!!!

ButbeforeIcouldmakeitclear,everythingfroze. Hehadalreadybeguntheextermination.Icouldsee boththegirlsdissolveintodust,despitehowfar awaytheywere,butunlikethekingthought,the monarchybeganfadingawayaswell Andasevery beingdisappearedandeverybuildingcollapsed intonothingwithoutthestrengthofthe2flames,I cuppedmyfaceinmyhands,tearsflowing.Lights out.AndallthatwasleftofourgloriousStarlawere dustparticles.

MIX TAPE

EXPERIMENTAL

Setting:Field|Character:Mathematician|Object:Moss|Action:Claw|Emotion:Sleepy|Adjective:Rusty

Longnailssleepilyclawedacrosstherustyfield, Acrossthemetalflowerslonggrownold Someweredryandred,coveredinrust, Otherswerewet,coveredinmoldandmoss.. Thisstrangelypleasingblendofredandgreen, Pickedupontheclawedhands, Handstiredofequations, Handstiredoflabequipment, Handslonggrownwearyofsittingidleinfrontofascreen, HandsthatbelongedtothecrazedmathematicianofExcentrique.

Seekingshadefromsociety, Shehadrunawayfromtheworld, Createdherownlandoftech, Inhopesofconfiningherselftoaworldofmathandscience Thiswouldbeheavenshethought, Amidstthehillslushwithwiredtreesandsilverflowers Thiswouldbeperfect, ButMom’sarealwaysright, Right?

Hermother’swordsrangacrossherbluetoothears, “Thosestudieswilldriveyoucrazy,”

“Ohmother,youaretheonecrazy.Youdon’tknowhowmymind yearnsformoreknowledge.Ahhh,ifonlyIcouldrunawayand livelikeEinsteinallday,slowlywastingawayinlogicandscience.”

Ifonlyshehadn’ttriedtorunawayfromtheconscienceinher, Ifonlyshedidn’ttrytocutherselfaway, Ifonlyshedidn’ttrysohardtobeperfect Ifonlysheknewshewouldbewritingthis, Ifonlysheknewshewasme, ThatisifsheknewwhoIwas, Thelastbitofhuman, Leftinherautomatedmess.

Ifonlysheheldontothatlastbitofhuman, Ifonlysheheldontome

TomyFutureSelf A LETTER

Ididn'tputtheletterbuthere'ssomecoolpicturesinstead,thatIfelt representativeofmyletter:)

OBJECT WRITE

Todayatclass,professorKamdenasked,what’syourworstfear?Thefirstthoughtthatcametomindwasif I died today before doing all I wanted to do in this long life But the more and more I think about the question, I keep thinking of what I should’ve said instead of that Maybe saying something like losing someoneIloveorsomethingalongthoselineswould’vemademelooklessselfish.Costhat’swhateveryone elsesaid.SolonsaidthatheworriedthemostaboutlosinghisfamilyandHelisaidhermostimportantwas thatifshelostallthatshehad.NowIlookvain.Sigh.

And then other times I think, is that really what I fear the most? Doesn’t the overthinking indicate otherwise?Thatmyworstfearisnotbeingaccepted?Ofeveryoneelselookingdownonme?Butthen,can anythinglivethroughtheirworstfeareverysinglewakingmoment? Aghhh,somanythingstositdown andthinkaboutbutI’vegotnomoretimetokeeppondering Ihavetoruntothegrocery

IwalkthroughthetownandInoticesomeonethatlooksfamiliar.“Cleo!Howhaveyoubeen??”,heshouts. Cleo isn’t my name; it’s my friends. I chuckled, wondering how everyone forgot my name and would just callmebysomeoneelse’sname.Isn’tRickyeasyenough?Hey,atleasthedidn’tsay“ayyoutheonethat's alwaysnextto ”,that’sdefinitelyworse.Weirdhowyougetusedtothingslikethese.Iwalkuptohim andintroducemyself,andhecomplimentsmeonmylook.“Ilovetheglasses!”“Thanks,Ijustgotthem!The redlooksgoodonyou!”“Ohthanks,Iwaskindascareditwouldn’t.”Andlikethat,justsomefriendlybanter. Wait,whywashescaredthattheredwouldn’tlookgoodonhim?Aren’tyoubornwiththesamefit?Can youchangethemliketheglasses?Wellthat'sweird

IwalksomemoreandIgettothestore.IbumpintoJaylynanditseemsshe'sgottenher‘fit’changedaswell. How do they do that? I ask her and she says that the newer ones have detachable ‘fits.’ Episode 112 of makingmefeeloldagain:(.Ah,it’sfineIdon’tthinktheblacklooksallthatterribleonme.Iwalktoaisle14 to get what I need and I see a sign that says “Buy this to avoid losing any memory. Do you struggle with forgetting things and crashing, making everything terrible? With this, you’ll never have this issue ever again.100%Guaranteed!”

That’showIrealizedwhatmyworstfearwas

WhatifonedayIjustcrashandforgetmywholelife?Ican’tdoanythingtokeepmymemoryforlong.AllI candoisliveandcollectmemorieslikethelittledustthatflythroughthesky.Andjustlikethedustkeeps flying further and further away, I won’t ever know if some memories slowly slip out my mind. If I never rememberitagain,howwouldIevenknowifit’sstillthereinmeanymore,orhasgrownwingsandflown awaylikebirdsfromacage?AndasIage,whatifIforgetallthegoodtimes?Thehighschoolparties?The timeshefirstsmiledatme?ThefirsttimeIsawhoneysuckles?OrthatonetimeIactuallyhadfriends?

Butwhathurtsthemostisthat,nomatterhowmanygoodtimesIforget,theinsults,thescars,thefingers, theeyes,andthestares,theyneverflyaway.They’vemademetheirlastdestination,foreverengrainedin theshuttersofmybrain.Likethedustthatclingsontoapictureframe,they’rehereforever.

A MANIFESTO

Tocontinuelivinginthisworld,youmustbecomeachild,justlikesomanyhave been trying to tell us from the start of humanity. BE a child. WISH on the butterfliesthatflutterby.WISHthatyouwillbeabletoseethegoodineveryday. REFUSE to sit idly at home, for afterall, how can you see the forest fairies from yourlaptopdesk?GEToutofthelittlehamstercycleofworkthatyou'rein.From school, to college, to work, when will you get a break? When you ’ re retired and toooldtobeabletochasethefairies?GOopenthedoorandstoptiringyourself. WALKforsometime.WATCHthebirdsthatflyaboveyourhead.Areyoureally that much smarter than them if you can’t even spend a day without worrying yourself to hell and back? REGAIN your life, grab it back from whoever stole it from you. GREET your neighbor genuinely. THINK of everyone through the loving, hateless eyes of a young child who doesn’t see color. Who hasn’t been taught internalized racism yet. Who hasn’t been taught yet to hate someone because of their skin, their clothes, the way they speak, the things they believe. And when you see that one neighbor that doesn’t agree with your favorite politician, instead of arguing over who's the worse choice for the office, FIND commonground,somethingtoBUILDyourselvestogether.Itdoesn’tmakesense that some rich old guy miles away should be tearing you apart from your own community. START thinking about the bee population in your nearest garden. VOLUNTEER at centers that work to serve your local place. START wondering about what you can do for deforestation in your community. PETITION for the trees that you used to run around and pretend was a dimension into another universe, back when you were in kindergarten. THINK about how instead of complaininglikeanadult,youcanfindsolutions,justlikelittlechildren.Iknow it's never as easy, but the first step is always going to be hard. And just like a child, NEVER look down on others. LOOK UP to others, and LEARN from the goodofeveryone.NEVERletanyonehurtyouharderthanyourself.Don’tbreak yourself for anyone, break only to MAKE yourself better again. GIVE UP worrying about the economy or the workforce or all those “adulty things.” LET GO.DON'Tbesofasttojudge.DON'Tbesocold.OPENupalittle,slowlyinchthe tree-housewindowopen,andmaybethen,you’dfindarainbowdrippingdown the clouds onto your hands, the sun shining down on you, glitter floating throughtheair,butterfliesonthewindowsillandlikethatyou’llrediscoverthe magicoflife.