Effective Similes The writer Joy Williams says, “A writer must be smart but not too smart. He must be dumb enough to break himself to harness.” In July, those words are especially true. In summer, most workshops fall apart. No one brings new pages. Most of writing isn’t the brainstorming, exciting flashes of idea that come so fast. Most of writing is the momentby-moment choice of details that will create your physical reality on the page. Even now, I’m only aware of the music playing (country and western), the rushing sound of the fan, the keyboard, and the computer screen. A limited number of physical details make up every reality – one smell (on none), one texture, one sound. One gesture or nervous tic. If you can get those right – choose them and depict them well – your scene will write itself. As an aside, ask yourself: “What is your character doing when he or she isn’t doing anything?” Again, what’s happening with hands, feet, tongue, breathing? This is the plodding, hit-or-miss, try-and-fail, job of writing and re-writing. That said, I hate similes. Those phrases that compare one thing to another. “Her hair had the softness of rabbit’s fur.” Or, “His cheeks were like raw meat.” Anytime you want to use a simile, a metaphor will usually work better. Stronger. Instead of: “Being married to Jim was like driving five years down a dirt road”… the stronger version is: “Being married to Jim was five years of driving down a dirt road.” Or better yet, “Being married to Jim left you shaky as a five-year drive down a dirt road.” But if you’re determined to use a simile, try the following: Avoid using forms of the verb “is.” As in, “Her car was green as a traffic light.” Or, “His job is as boring as church.” Instead, unpack the “is” verb and determine the quality you want to highlight with the comparison. For example even, “Her car looked (or “shined” or “streaked past”) green as a traffic light.” Or, “His job felt as boring as sitting in church.” In short, unpack the verbs that link one subject with the other.
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