8 minute read
Disrupting Burnout
Members of the Junior League of Charlotte, Inc. (JLC), are “change agents” and work from the heart. They serve the JLC, fellow members and the League’s community partners in furtherance of the JLC’s mission to promote voluntarism, develop the potential of women and improve the community through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers. They serve in the JLC while working and serving in other personal and professional roles that together may leave them depleted and at-risk of burnout. Each of us is encouraged to disrupt the cycle of burnout so that we may continue the work we were created to do.
Dr. Jackson’s Burnout Story
In August 2019, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson, affectionately known as Dr. PBJ in her community, reached the executive role she had worked 20 years to obtain. Dr. PBJ is an educator with a doctoral degree in Education Administration. She had a corner office, staff, and a parking spot with her name on it. She had reached the picture of success, the picture of power, what she had worked so hard and so long to reach. And yet, on that August day, she found herself crying on her commute to work and in her parking spot. She pulled herself together, said good morning to her staff, went to her office, and crumpled upon entry. She held onto the doorknob for some time before making it to her desk, holding on to it for fear of falling. She had nothing more to give and knew it was time to go.
While grateful for her journey, Dr. Jackson minces no words that achieving her professional goals almost cost her everything. “I was always taught to keep climbing, to keep pushing. I had mentors along the way who told me I was doing a good job, that I could be President [of a university] if I wanted. I appreciate the encouragement I received along the way, and I don’t regret any of it. It was necessary. If I hadn’t made it to Vice President, I would have still been pushing for it because I didn’t know it wasn’t what I was supposed to do until I was there. I’m so grateful for my path, but I know I’m not the only woman doing my best and going after things. There are women out there working hard, pursuing a career, raising a family, being a good partner, serving their communities and doing all the things – because that’s what we’ve been taught we’re supposed to do. That these things are the picture of success and power, so we continue to pursue all those things.” Dr. Jackson explains that, upon reaching that level of success and power, she realized that she had nothing else to give. “I often say, ‘overwhelm is the whisper, but burnout is the demand.’ I didn’t want to walk away from my students, team and colleagues. I didn’t want it to end that way, and I still carry some guilt about the way it ended, but I had no choice at that point. I had to stop.” Dr. Jackson left her position and took five months to recover in quiet and understand what happened and how she got to that point. At first, she thought that people in her life put too much on her. Upon reflection, however, she realized that it was not that other people demanded too much of her but that she “allowed it, invited it and created this life for herself without proper boundaries.” Approaching life without identifying her values, boundaries, or individual brilliance ultimately left her at rock-bottom burnout and costing her almost everything. Emerging from that experience, Dr. Jackson developed tools to help people live lives free of burnout, overwhelm and compassion fatigue, while also continuing to work, serve and do the things they are created to do in a long-term and sustainable way.
Your Heart Work Journey
“You cannot work from the heart until you work in the heart.” Dr. Jackson’s “heart work journey” is an intentional three-step process. Step 1: Check Your Baggage “You will not honor your own boundaries until you check your baggage. It’s one thing to create a boundary, but it’s another thing to make sure that boundary is effective in
your life.” Dr. Jackson explains that this is a slow process of self-reflection to identify your burnout story and what in your life has happened or what you have learned that has determined how you approach life and work. Until you recognize your origin, story and recognize your individual symptoms (or “your tell”), she says that you will never be able to disrupt the burnout cycle. She explains that burnout is a cycle: you may be in a good position right now but until you have a process in place, you may find yourself later at rock-bottom burnout wondering what happened. Being able to identify and recognize your tell now—before burnout—allows you to adjust yourself and continue your work. Step 2: Build Your Boundaries Building your boundaries begins with identifying your values. Dr. Jackson explains, “Burnout is a thief. It will come to steal the things that are most important to you. The question to ask is what are you not willing to lose?” When you’re in burnout, what’s most important to you—whether it be family, health, faith, friendships—may be in jeopardy and compromised. Dr. Jackson recommends building your boundaries there. Like a wall around an ancient city, Dr. Jackson explains that boundaries protect you mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Step 3: Discover Your Brilliance “This is where the power comes in because I’ve found that many people are burned out and overwhelmed because they are trying to do work that they were never created to do.” Instead of living according to the standards that other people set for you or in people-pleasing, Dr. Jackson encourages you to live according to your individual genius and purpose that you were created to do. When you go through the process of discovering your brilliance, it is powerful because you know how and when to say no. “It’s not confrontational. You give a well-placed ‘no’ when the ask does not fall within your genius.” It’s powerful because this is where the game is changed.
Adopting a Lifestyle of Rest
On your heart work journey, you should work to adopt a lifestyle of rest. “There’s a culture of self-care right now [in our society], especially after the pandemic, but I’m convinced that a facial and a walk are not enough. It’s a good start and there’s nothing wrong with it, but we cannot present it as if it’s the total answer.” Instead of activities, Dr. Jackson encourages women to take on a lifestyle of rest which she breaks into three categories: selah (daily), sabbath (weekly), and sabbatical (every now and then). Selah: Be intentional in finding daily rest. Dr. Jackson explains that it’s not necessarily a nap, but some time for your brain to be quiet or creative. These moments are for you and no one else, whether early in the morning, on the commute home, in the carpool lane, or outside enjoying a few moments of fresh air and sunshine.
Sabbath: It may be time for fun or for a nap, but weekly rest is not work, social media, email, or volunteering. It’s time carved-out for you to stop and refill your cup. For mothers, Dr. Jackson encourages you to take this time and allow others who love your babies to love your babies for a few hours. If you challenge yourself to do it now, Dr. Jackson says your children will have learned from you how to rest and live a balanced life.
Sabbatical: Every now and then, you must get physically away. This doesn’t require you to spend a lot of money or stay overnight, but you need to be physically away from your home and work. If you try to stop in your regular setting, you will still think about work that needs to be done. Getting physically away allows you to unwind, focus, hear your own thoughts and engage in your own creativity and breathe. You’ll come back as a better partner, mother, colleague and friend.
Additional Practical Tips from a JLC Member
JLC member Frieda Miller is a school counselor in the Charlotte area and is very familiar with the signs of burnout from both students and educators. Frieda explains that overcommitment is sometimes not a choice for educators who are too often all but forced to take on additional work. She encourages them to keep a written calendar and a running list of their projects and tasks. Not only does this help with organization and feelings of accomplishment when a task is checked off a list, but it also may be referred to and shared when there is a need to say “no” to additional work. With students, Frieda sees too many of them playing the “GPA game” where they take on too many higher-level courses at the expense of rest and balance, and which may lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms. She encourages students, along with their parents and caregivers, to promote balance and rest when taking higher-level courses. All Change Agents battle burnout from time to time, but it is important to refocus and take care of oneself to ensure that we all can continue to make a meaningful impact in our community and the lives of those with whom we encounter.
