Subdue your Stress

As “change agents” in our community, wives, mothers, and daughters, with jobs outside the home and in the home, life can get hectic. With holiday celebrations to prepare for, the holiday season itself, especially during a global pandemic, can be very stressful. To help, here are some easy to implement and useful health and wellness tips to combat stress and stay focused on positivity. According to the CDC, “in June 2020, 41% of Americans report experiencing anxiety, depression and traumatic symptoms related to the pandemic.” Shawna Lauer, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Charlotte Women’s Counseling explains. “Women often set unrealistic expectations for themselves, we take on too much and then judge ourselves harshly when we don’t achieve perfection. Treating ourselves with the same love and compassion that we bestow on our friends and family is a first step towards reducing stress, anxiety and depression.” As women, we tend to put additional pressure on ourselves to achieve perfection or take on additional work and responsibilities. As a mom of four, I know this all too well. Managing everyone’s schedules is both rewarding and stressful, and I’ve found myself utilizing different stress management techniques to keep our household’s daily stress level low.

Stress Management Techniques

Stress is high across the board right now. Everyone has gone through changes in their routines, whether it is at work, home, travel or school. Some common ways to combat stress are to reduce time spent on social media, get outside for fresh air, exercise, meditate or yoga and deep breathing exercises. Limiting caffeine and alcohol intake, eating a balanced diet and exercising are also cornerstones of helping stay physically and mentally healthy. Another key component of keeping stress under control is practicing mindfulness by staying present and not worrying about the future or past. If stress is higher than normal or is impacting daily life, it is important to recognize it and make a decision. Start by speaking with your primary care provider to rule out any physiological causes. In addition to the lifestyle changes mentioned above, reach out to your friends and family and engage your support network. It’s valuable to not be isolated when going through stressful times. It’s important to have a good support network to lean on in times of high stress. Shawna explains, “One tip is to start to pay attention to when the ‘shoulds’ are creeping in. When you hear yourself say ‘I should be doing this or that,’ take a minute to reflect. Is this something you want or need to do? Or do you just feel like you should? And if you feel like you ‘should,’ ask yourself, ‘who says?’ Once you recognize these thought patterns, with curiosity - not judgment, you can work to let go of those unnecessary shoulds that fuel your stress. Remind yourself that you are doing the best that you can and that perfection is not possible. Instead, strive to be ‘good enough.’”

Mindfulness

Shawna explains that “mindfulness is a useful skill that’s proven to improve mental health, but it’s one that people don’t really understand and can feel intimidated by. But really, mindfulness is a simple concept. The goal is to ground yourself in the present moment. It’s about noticing your experiences, thoughts and feelings with curiosity, not judgment. These are simple concepts but the act of being mindful takes practice. The good news is that mindfulness, yoga and meditation don’t have to be time consuming. Dedicating just a few minutes a day to a regular mindfulness practice can be beneficial in reducing stress and can help to bring clarity of thought and feelings.”

Belly Breathing

Belly breathing is a focused breathing technique that can help calm the mind and body. It’s useful to do in the moment of stress or anger, but can also be helpful to do daily. Taking a minute a day to take seven deep belly breaths can really help with overall stress levels.

To start belly breathing, sit or lay down in a comfortable position. Some people find it comfortable to close their eyes and imagine a safe space that brings them joy and peace. Then place one hand on your chest and your other hand below the rib cage. Be aware of your movement and body position. Start by taking a deep, slow breath in through your nose and you should feel the hand on your belly rise. This is breathing with the diaphragm and not the chest. Inhale slowly for a count of five seconds then breathe out slowly through the mouth for seven seconds. You should feel your belly moving down, and the hand on your chest should stay still. Repeat six more times for a total of seven breaths.

Therapy

Therapy can also be useful to help with stress and anxiety. Shawna explains that “therapy is a safe place to talk, vent, make sense of what’s happening to you.” Therapy can be oneon-one or in a group setting. Whether it’s individual therapy, group therapy, support groups, or someone’s social support network, it’s valuable to not be isolated when going through stressful times.

As the COVID-19 pandemic nears the two year mark, now is the time to incorporate some techniques to help with stress.