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Vegan meals take far less of a toll on the Earth’s resources… It takes about 2,500 gallons of water to produce just a pound of meat but only about 155 gallons of water to produce a pound of wheat. - PETA’s explanation for their offer to pay the water bills of Detroit residents who go vegan

A company in the U.K. is making news for developing a new vegetable called Brussel-Kale, which is a hybrid of Brussels sprouts and kale. They said, “We got the idea from a child’s nightmare.” - Jimmy Fallon

I have to admit I’ve actually met that guy before. It was a couple years ago and he had the same line. He needs to update his material. - President Obama when interrupted by a heckler during a rally in Los Angeles

This is probably the safest airport in the world; safer than any airport we have. - Mike Bloomberg upon landing in Israel on an El Al flight while the FAA ban against American airlines flying to Israel was in place Today the prime minister of Ukraine announced his resignation. He said he wants to spend a little more time fleeing Ukraine. – Seth Myers “The View” will be trying out new co-hosts this week. That’s good news for "The View" and even better news for the company that sells noise-canceling headphones. – Jimmy Fallon

I think your question is to the Indian government. - One of the State Department officials in response I made a mistake in speaking before being fully briefed and I apologize. I’m a quick study, but in this case I shot an air ball. - Congressman Clawson after the hearing

These huge white flags were placed on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. And late this afternoon, word came from the FBI that the New York Mets have surrendered. - Craig Ferguson

Today, Secretary of State John Kerry traveled to Egypt and had to pass through a metal detector before he could meet with officials. Which is ridiculous. Everyone knows he’s made of wood. - Seth Myers

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is facing corruption charges. If the charges prove true, then Governor Cuomo will be forced to step down and become the governor of New Jersey. – Conan O’Brien Forgive Us, Netherlands. - Front page headline of antiPutin Russian newspaper, Novaya Gazeta

As much of world watches Gaza war in horror, members of Congress fall over each other to support Israel. - Tweet sent out by the Associated Press

Comic-Con wrapped up over the weekend in San Diego. If you don’t know, Comic-Con is the world’s largest gathering of people who know the difference between a modem and a router. – Jimmy Kimmel A new rumor has surfaced that the next iPhone will feature an all-glass exterior. Because why should just the front be cracked? – Seth Myers

I saw that Hillary Clinton visited the headquarters of Twitter and Facebook yesterday. Hillary would also have visited LinkedIn, but she already knows what job she wants. – Jimmy Fallon Yeah, yes, indeed. - Hillary Clinton when asked on Fusion TV whether she is worth millions

AUGUST 7, 2014

Maybe that’s why the FCC just announced that it wants to overhaul the Emergency Alert System so President Obama would be able to interrupt any TV broadcast and address the country instantly…They want to make it so the president can instantly interrupt TV broadcasts whenever there’s breaking news. Then Obama said, “And I mean REAL breaking news, not that CNN stuff.” - Jimmy Fallon

North Korea is negotiating to broadcast the Teletubbies. They have to make changes for North Korean TV. For starters, every episode will end with one of the Teletubbies being executed. – Craig Ferguson

I am familiar with your country, I love your country, and I understand the complications of so many languages and so many cultures and so many histories all rolled up in one. Anything I can do to make the relationship with India better, I’m willing and enthusiastic about doing so. Just as your capital is welcome here to produce good-paying jobs in the U.S., I’d like our capital to be welcome there… And I ask cooperation and commitment and priority from your government in so doing. Can I have that? - Congressman Curt Clawson (R-FLA) to two U.S State Department officials who were testifying at a Congressional hearing and had Indian names and looked like they were from India

29 THE JEWISH HOME

- David Letterman

Breaking: Dutch military plane carrying bodies from Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 crash lands in Eindhoven. - Awkward phrasing of an AP tweet which was quickly deleted by AP

T HT HE EJ EJ W LY 2341,, 2012 2014 E WI SI SHHH HO OMME Enn JMUAY

Happy birthday to Ed Lowe, the man who invented Kitty Litter. Here’s what I admire about Ed Lowe. Here was a guy who was thinking inside the box.

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