middle path. You can’t be all physical or all spiritual. You are put in a body for a reason, and you need to take care of that body. So I feel that physical health is extremely important. Also, the discipline and respect involved – if you’re doing it with the right mindset and you’re doing it properly – it’s like a laser. You’re so focused on it. You can’t replace that with anything else. Gymnastics, martial arts, swimming – they’re called disciplines for a reason. You really need to focus to reach any goals. I think for kids these days, there is so much available technology that we’re getting to the point where every kid walks around with an iPod. They’re looking at a screen the entire day, and their thumbs are the only part of their bodies that they’re exercising… It’s not healthy. So I feel that the frum community especially needs this sort of outlet. In Crown Heights there’s a place called Jimmy’s, where I was an instructor for a while. It gives frum kids the opportunity to learn gymnastics, dance, and martial arts in a frum atmosphere. You’re in a comfortable place but you’re still getting the discipline. I think that’s brilliant, and I think the west coast is lacking in that. Even though Los Angeles and San Diego are both in the top five healthiest cities in the Unites States, we are still lacking in opportunity. I’m not saying we should only focus on martial arts or gymnastics. It definitely needs to be paired with religious studies. Personally, my goal is to open up a health center that offers these sorts of physical fitness activities, but at the same time offers life-coaching in order to help people live a frum life in a healthy and happy way. People are happier when they’re
active. I love going to the gym. It’s something that calms me down and relaxes me; I have a great time while I’m there. It doesn’t replace my studying. When I was in yeshiva I never let it get in the way of my learning. I would never skip a class in order to go to the gym. And it’s the same now; I would never skirt my other duties in order to go to the gym. But if you have both together working in harmony, both become a lot better. It all becomes stronger. 7. What’s the message you have taken from this experience? A lot of people feel that being a Jew limits your abilities to do what you want to do, to become who you want to be, to test yourself in certain ways. I just want to say: religion isn’t getting in your way. Obviously, you can’t put religion to the side. But you can use what you have learned and apply it to any other part of your life. You’ll become better at what you’re trying to accomplish, and your religion will become stronger too. I think that’s extremely important for people to understand. Yes, I’m involved in martial arts and self-defense, I shoot competitively, and I’m a swimming instructor. But that doesn’t mean that I skipped all my time in yeshiva. I accomplished all of that during my breaks. And I managed that because I had that discipline from my studying. It works both ways. There’s a discipline you learn from martial arts and there’s a discipline you learn from sitting in yeshiva and studying. They complement each other. My message is: don’t use religion as an excuse. Use what you’ve learned to help reach your goals, and your goals will help you learn more about yourself as a Jew.
Question & Answer Education is at the fore of every parent’s mind. Parents and Educators have many questions, concerns and worries. If you wish to have your question or issue considered by a team of Educators feel free to email educationqanda@hillelhebrew.org and your topic may be discussed in this column in future weeks. All names will be held confidential. We are blessed with a large family and beautiful children. However, it is a constant challenge as we address sibling interactions. How do I bring harmony to my family and harness the various creative qualities of my children? What can I tell them? I wish we functioned as a team. Loving Mother seeking harmonious existence Dear Harmonious, The good news is that you have already begun to identify a key quality to turn things around. You understand that to create a harmonious existence among siblings it includes teaching and discussing the beauty of integrating different personalities to create a beautiful family group. You are correct, your family is a team where each sibling plays a unique role to help create a harmonious group. If you take it a step further, each family then becomes a unique member of a larger team called kehilla and community. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, former Chief Rabbi of the United Kingdom and British Commonwealth, who is visiting our community this week, frames this idea
of unity best when discussing Parashat Vayakhel. Rabbi Lord Sacks asks the following question on this week’s Torah portion: “How do you re-motivate a demoralized people? How do you put the pieces of a broken nation back together again? That was the challenge faced by Moses in this week’s Parasha”. The Jewish nation had just worshipped the Golden Calf and strife with rebellion had just been averted. The nation was demoralized. Rabbi Lord Sacks begins his answer with the following statement “The key word here is vayakhel, “[Moses] gathered.” Kehilla means community. A kehilla or kahal is a group of people assembled for a given purpose. That purpose can be positive or negative, constructive or destructive”. Moshe’s response to this “team” that has gone awry is not to shut them down but rather to channel their energies and desires for the positive. Moshe gives them an opportunity to be part of building something that they can truly be proud of, a home for Hashem the Mishkan. When given this opportunity they rise to the occasion and go above and beyond what was asked of them to the point that Moshe had to ask them to stop donating toward this project.
If we apply this message to our own mini family community we can utilize the same strategy. Find a common goal for the family to accomplish together, something that you will all be passionate about and that cannot be accomplished by any one sibling. It should be a joint venture, pooling the unique talents of each sibling. Examples can include making a unique Shabbat experience or performing a family chesed project, allowing each member of the family a distinct role to play. When the project is completed be sure to celebrate the accomplishments of the family and highlight the role each sibling played. You do not always have to do something as a family. Sometimes encouraging your children to get involved in a community project can have the same effect. Through this you can show another example to your children what it means to use individual talents as part of a larger community and how everyone has something to add despite being different. As Rabbi Lord Sacks articulates: “Team building, even after a disaster like the golden calf, is neither a mystery nor a miracle. It is done by setting the group a task, one that speaks to their
passions and one that no subsection of the group can achieve alone. It must be constructive. Every member of the group must be able to make a unique contribution, and then feel that it has been valued. Each must be able to say, with pride: I helped make this. That is what Moses understood and did. He knew that if you want to build a team, create a team that builds”. This weekend Harkham Hillel Hebrew Academy is privileged to Host Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks for a weekend of unity shabbat achdut “empowering children to innovate and build”. We invite you to take part of this weekend at any of the many Shuls participating as one Kehilla as a way of putting this lesson into practice. To continue the dialogue and share other ideas on this topic, email educationqanda@hillelhebrew.org. We want to hear your thoughts. This article was compiled by Rabbi Y. Boruch Sufrin and Rabbi Eli Broner Harkham Hillel Hebrew Academy Administration
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FEBRUARY 20, 2014
way. I was riding with some friends and someone tried to start a fight and he hit me. Because of my training, I was able to remain calm and the guy walked away. When you’re learning self-defense, they teach you the laws and liability of fighting. If you get in a fight with someone it’s going to be a bigger problem than if you can avoid it, so obviously you avoid the fight at all costs. But you never know what can happen. The Jewish community needs to be a lot more aware, and people should be prepared. Even if I offer a seminar, there’s only so much you can do in a couple of hours. People should read up about it, develop the mindset, be aware of the space around them. These things are extremely important but often overlooked. Especially since the Jewish community is almost always the target. I know recently there was a heightened alert for Jewish communities. There was a government warning saying that that there was a credible threat against Jewish communities and to be aware. And I doubt most people heard about it. For me, that means something. I’d say that 90-95% of Jews living in Jewish communities probably didn’t know about it. And if they did, what are they going to do about it? Lock their doors? There has to be awareness and preparation. I want to be able to offer that to the Jewish community. 6. Have you taken anything from your training, or even your fight, that benefits you in your life as a rabbi and as a Jew? Definitely. Number one, I feel that a lot of people, especially in Jewish communities, tend to neglect their physical health and focus on the spiritual. The spiritual is extremely important, but as the Rambam says, we need to take the
THE JEWISH HOME
told me, “I understand why you are doing it, but I still don’t think it’s a good thing.” And I understand where they’re coming from, because I hate watching MMA events. They are very brutal. But again, for me that wasn’t the mindset. So while I understand that it doesn’t look nice, it was a valuable experience for someone who plans on teaching self-defense. 5. Can you tell us more about your plans to teach self-defense? Do you have other ideas for how to bring more of this kind of activity to the Jewish community? I think Jewish schools could focus more on physical activities. It’s tough ground, because the schools are already giving the kids so much. They have to do secular studies and religious studies, so it’s difficult to ask them to add more physical activity to an already packed day. That’s why I was thinking an after-school program would be better. I personally I hope to be able to open up a center that offers these things within the next year or so. And not just for kids, but for adults as well. I think we need a frum gym, where there are separate men’s’ and women’s’ classes. I think communities on their own should be working towards getting things like this set up. Many have. I hope to be able to offer one more. As far as security and self-defense goes, I hope to eventually give seminars. I’m doing a lot of training now in order to build the knowledge to give these seminars. Everyone should have some knowledge of self-defense, should know something about security. People don’t realize. We live in a nicer area, but so many things can happen if you don’t have the right mindset. I personally was once hit on the sub-