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Jay Leno “On the same night I began hunting for the scraps of paper I’ll need for my tax return, President Barack Obama, his wife, kids and a bunch of their buddies were enjoying a live concert of Memphis soul music in a White House now closed to the public because of budget sequestration... As I scrounged through drawers and coat pockets in search of anything that might reduce the size of the check I’m going to write tomorrow, I was acutely aware of how my tax dollars are being used. Defending my freedom and maintaining the avenues of commerce, no problem. Feeding the hungry and nursing the sick? All good. But I draw the line at paying... to serenade a president.” - Nolan Finley, The Detroit News
“People are surprised...some people are surprised I can even read.”Former-President George W. Bush to the Dallas Morning News, discussing people’s reaction to his ability to paint
“We’ll just hang and have some fun!” - Dennis Rodman discussing his next trip to North Korea to visit Kim Jong-Un, planned for this summer “This is going to follow Tiger Woods around for the rest of his life.” -Golf Channel analyst Brandel Chamblee discussing Tiger Woods’ decision not to disqualify himself from the Masters after he placed a ball on the wrong spot
“Hi. As you’ve probably noticed, I’m not the president.” - Francine Wheeler, the mother of a Newtown victim, delivering the President’s weekly address in place of President Obama
“North Korean officials reportedly are planning a cyber attack on the U.S. in an effort to bring our economy to a halt. Nice try guys. You’re five years too late.” - Jay Leno
“Secretary Kerry will be the first to admit that in some ways he can never fill Hillary’s heels.” - U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice at the Women in the World Summit in New York
“Hadiya Pendleton was me and I was her.” - Michelle Obama talking about a 15-year-old Chicago girl who was killed by gun violence
“Well, Michael, tax day is today. That came up. You know, I was thinking of all the iconic events that are being told about today. Of course I knew it was tax day because I got them in. But of course, it’s Patriots Day. It’s also the Boston Marathon. And would you as an expert be thinking domestic at this point? I don’t think tax day means a lot to the Arab world or Islamic world or certainly not to al Qaeda in terms of their world. It doesn’t have iconic significance.” - Chris Matthews, NBC
“Explosions are a reminder that ATF needs a director. Shame on Senate Republicans for blocking appointment.” - New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristoff’s tweet, within hours of the terrorist attack in Boston “Once the device—if it is a device—is found, what kind of explosives were used. So for instance, if it was hydrogen peroxide, this is a signature of al Qaeda. If it was more conventional explosives, which are much harder to get hold of now—that might be some other kind of right-wing extremist. … We’ve also seen, for instance, right-wing groups trying to attack the Martin Luther King parade in Oregon in 2010.” - Peter Bergen on CNN, within hours of the attack “We still do not know who did this or why, and people should not jump to conclusions before we have all the facts.” - President Obama in a statement after the bombing “The President of the United States has pledged his full support in all efforts to keep the city safe and to find the person who did this and bring them to justice. We did not have to reach out to the president. The president reached out to us. He called the governor, he called the mayor, he called the members of the (congressional) delegation, because the president is actively involved here and responding.” - Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D- Mass., who did not mention the victims in her press conference after the Boston bombing CNN: “What are your impressions of the response in Boston so far?” BARNEY FRANK: “I’m glad you raised that, because it gives me a chance to make a point I’ve felt strongly about. In this terrible situation, let’s be very grateful that we had a well-funded, functioning government. It is very fashionable in America, and has been for some time to criticize government, belittle public employees, talk about their pensions, talk about what people think ... of [their] health care. Here we saw government in two ways perform very well. ... I never was as a member of Congress one of the cheerleaders for less government, lower taxes. No tax cut would have helped us deal with this or will help us recover. This is very expensive... What I’m asking people is, whether you have private health insurance or not, whether you can afford this or not, maybe the government’s going to have to pay for it. This is an example of why we need, if we’re going to be a civilized society, to put some of our resources into a common pool.”
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“It’s starting to get serious — China has warned North Korea about starting a war. China told them flat out, ‘Do not fire any missiles at the United States at least until after we get our money. They owe us $16 trillion. Wait until then.’”-