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EXHIBITION C ATA L O G

A JOYOUS EXCHANGE

The Art of Collaboration DIANE D. ORLOFSKY

AND

JERRY R . JOHNSON

EXHIBITION C ATA L O G

A JOYOUS EXCHANGE: The Art of Collaboration accompanies the exhibition of the same name.

Made possible with generous support from:

Designed by Sienna Cloud Creative Solutions www.siennacloud.com

SPECIAL THANKS To our families for their tireless support and love—always!

To Lizzie Orlofsky and Lana Johnson for seeing beauty in the ordinary and eternity in the temporal.

To Carmine Errichiello for his inspirational paintings.

To Anna Orlofsky, Beth Hyatt, Lizzie Orlofsky and Becky Bush for editorial assistance.

ETERNAL GRATITUDE To our CREATOR, in whom ALL joy is manifest.

CONTENTS FOREWORD 1 kenyon holder—foreword INTRODUCTIONS 2 diane orlofsky—meditations jerry johnson—illuminations THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS 6 MEDITATIONS and ILLUMINATIONS 11 A Grief Expressed—12 Setting Eternity in Our Hearts—16 Anatomy of a Choir—20 Front and Center—24 Tapestry—28 Unplugged—32 Finishing Touches—36 Maria’s Song—40 Storytellers—44 Blessings Brightly Lit—48 United by Song—52 Impression in the Snow—56 Alleluia—60 Aging Topography—64 A Sense of Place—68 Remaining in the Moment—72 Transformation—76 My Name is Love—80 Celestial Gardens—84 The Maternal Love triptych—88 Bestemor—90 Set Apart and Blessed—94 Sun, Steel and Shadow—98 Inauguration—102 3:23—106 The Dying Desoto triptych—110 CONCLUSION 113 REFERENCES 115

DR. KENYON HOLDER—Art Historian at Troy University.

Prior to her work at TROY, Dr. Kenyon Holder completed both her M.A. in Museum and Gallery Studies and her Ph.D. in Art History at the University of Leeds in England. Her research work focuses on the Wedgwood collection at the Birmingham Museum of Art and she is a frequent contributor at regional and national art conferences. She is particularly interested in the contextualization of material culture within domestic and institutional settings, narratives of collecting, the market and notions of authenticity.

FOREWORD Prelude to A Joyous Exchange The meditations and illuminations collected in A Joyous Exchange celebrate creation, presence and memory. A consistent theme that abounds in the work is resonance. We may think of the resonance of a voice, a quality of fullness that reverberates through space. In art, resonance suggests a power to extend beyond its own boundaries in order to evoke the context from which it emerged. A resonant piece allows a connection between the maker and the viewer, a translation of one’s experience into something which has relevance for us all. This joyous exchange exists not only between the creators, but also extends into the world of the audience. These pieces, often rooted in a personal, sometimes melancholic past, allow us to be present in time and to experience the presence of hope.

Thinking musically, the writings and the imagery perform a kind of call and response. Both are independent and distinct, but together they form the very essence of communication. While Diane Orlofsky and Jerry Johnson are co-creators of this exhibition and catalog, the professional and artistic work of both exhibit their commitment to collaboration; Orlofsky contemplates the profound exchanges in her choral work, while Johnson’s image production is a digital collage of disparate elements. Both relish the vibrant engagement of the university environment and the dynamic exchange between students, colleagues and educators. In these collaborations we find evidence of the artists’ humanity, their passion and perhaps most importantly, their empathy.

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Many of the reflections in this exhibition ponder the nature of memory, the transient nature of experience and the power of those moments to define the self. While profoundly personal ruminations, the shared memories become collective—the protective power of motherhood, the experience of the loss of a loved one, the power of faith. The art here provides a view to the small truths of everyday existence, but it is these small truths which contribute to the eternal.

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DR. DIANE ORLOFSKY—Professor of Music and Director of Choirs at Troy University. Orlofsky was named the 2016 Lacey Powell Outstanding Music Educator by the Alabama Music Education Association and was the 2014 recipient of the Wallace D. Malone Distinguished Faculty award which recognizes scholarship, teaching, leadership and service. She is the recipient of the Ingalls Award for Excellence in Classroom Teaching, the Phi Kappa Phi Distinguished Scholar award, the A.A.T.E. Outstanding Teacher Educator Award, and was named an American Fellow by the American Association of University Women. Orlofsky is active as a clinician, conductor, adjudicator, and author. Her primary creative and research interests include the application of the theories of Jerome Bruner to instructional best practices and co-creative arts education.

INTRODUCTIONS DIANE ORLOFSKY—

Meditations for A Joyous Exchange This project began at the bedside of my dying father. I had settled into a routine, of sorts, where I would spend mornings involved in university teaching and conducting my ensembles and in the afternoons, I would spare off my mother and sit at my father’s bedside. Dad was in the final descent of life and slept most of the time, giving me lots of time to read and write and reflect. I happened, at that time, to be reading Mark Sooy’s book Essays on Martin Luther’s Theology of Music (2006, Blue Maroon) and The Prayers of Kierkegaard. Odd juxtaposition, to be sure, but they kept my mind focused on eternal things (rather than dwelling on the sad realities at hand).

I first encountered the term, “joyous exchange” while reading Sooy’s book. He noted that “. . . music, as a joyous expression of order, also expresses Luther’s concept of the ‘joyous exchange’— that Christ has taken the sinner’s sin to the cross and exchanged it for His own righteousness” (p. 30). I was struck by the fact that Luther drew so many parallels between his theology and the music he loved so dearly. In a letter to Ludwig Senfl in 1530, Luther remarked, “I am not ashamed to confess publicly that next to theology there is no art which is equal of music, for she alone, after theology, can do what otherwise only theology can accomplish, namely, quiet and cheer up the soul of man . . . For this very reason the prophets cultivated no art so much as music in that they attached their theology not to geometry, nor to arithmetic, not to astronomy, but to music, speaking the truth through psalms and hymns” (Luther’s Works, Volume 49: Letters II, 428).

Borrowing the concept from Luther, I thought that it was also an accurate description of what occurs in choral music. For me, choral music is so much more than notes on the page, conducting

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nuances, or external validation by audience applause. There are joyous exchanges or connections that are forged between the composer, the conductor, the choir and the greater community that last well beyond the final note that is sung.

These relationships are equal parts spontaneity and preparation, inquiry and affirmation, mystery and clarity, spirituality and reality.

I began writing brief essays or “meditations” that explored these ideas, as well as issues of grief and loss. One day, my dad asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was writing a book about why I do what I do. His response was really the last cogent thing I heard him speak.

“That’s good, Dee, that’s real good.”

His words became a challenge and an imperative for me to see this project to completion.

I soon invited an art colleague, Jerry Johnson, to create “illuminations” to accompany the meditations. His pieces captured the essence of symbol and word, both ancient and eternal, and seemed a logical, joyful extension of my written word. We became intrigued by “the possible”—ours has been a dance of layers and symbols, memories and materials, significant heart-songs and endless possibilities, explorations of eternity and artistic collaboration at its purest. In short, we experienced a joyous exchange. We each celebrated this co-creation and gave ourselves permission to let it take on a life of its own. Witnessing the journey from printed page to gallery walls has been one of the most rewarding artistic journeys of my life.

The meditations and illuminations continue to come; however, now they are not so much about making music, but how we navigate lives filled with all sorts of joyous exchanges.

And yes, Dad, it is all good.

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JERRY JOHNSON—Professor of Design at Troy University and Director of the International Center for Collaboration and Creativity. This Center is charged with incubating and nurturing a multiplicity of international and interdisciplinary collaborations with art and design serving as core catalysts.

To date, Johnson has actuated arts initiatives in Sweden, Denmark, Macedonia, China, Taiwan and Vietnam. In 2016, Johnson was awarded a Design Fellowship by the Alabama State Council on the Arts for the purpose of producing an exhibition and associated book called—A Joyous Exchange—which celebrates collaboration and co-creation. Johnson served on the Executive Board of the national arts organization FATE— Foundations in Art: Theory and Education and in 2013, he received the Distinguished Service Award from FATE. In 2016, Johnson was also honored with the SECAC Award for Outstanding Achievement in Graphic Design. Johnson is also the principal of Sienna Cloud Creative Solutions.

INTRODUCTIONS JERRY JOHNSON—

Illuminations for A Joyous Exchange After three decades of working in digital art and design, I admittedly surrender to the notion that the computer is more than a mere tool for me—but rather, it has become as ubiquitous and (seemingly) necessary as the air that I breathe. I find it a scornful necessity and not just for solving visual communication problems in advertising or design. For me, digitization has evolved into an environmental and social space from which much of this life actuates—including that of art making. There was a time in my art career when drawn lines were literally graphite and tactile; canvases and illustration boards defined boundaries. However, as a contemporary artist and designer, my immersion with pixels and digital screens became fundamental. In spite of this, my romantic and nostalgic affection for dimensionality and tactility has not diminished.

The analog world is a world virtually full of surprising juxtapositions of light, texture and content. Ironically, as a digital artist I spend much of my digital image-making attempting to capture the non-digital. Silly, perhaps.

It was providential when a music colleague and I met for conversation and coffee. I listened to her passionately discuss this set of meditations she had written and compiled for years—mostly about lessons in life learned through her craft—choral music. To be honest, I was very surprised that there was minimal conversation about “music per se,” but engaging discourse about the collaborative dynamic of leading a choral group. This both amazed and exhilarated me! Being an artist and designer, I too find great reward in the process itself. Although I greatly appreciate (most times) the ultimate object that is created, my growth and my sense of purpose is rooted more deeply within the fertile valley of process.

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I emphatically related to Diane Orlofsky’s concept of the process of corporate music making as a series of “joyous exchanges”. Within minutes of the earliest conversations, we were imagining the possibilities of working together. It was originally considered that traditional illustrations would be generated to visually enhance these meditations. There was such a rich spiritual voice throughout these pages; I became too inspired to simply illustrate and proposed rather to illuminate.

As I read and re-read the meditations of A Joyous Exchange, I am reminded of the beauty and wonder of surprise at the attempts to orchestrate, compose and direct—to flesh out the ineffable. Starting with some basic images that hold special meaning to the author, I have attempted to stay true to A Joyous Exchange by concepting, juxtaposing and editing— joyfully connecting disparate elements to achieve some range of believability or not—being careful not to skew the author’s original intent.

These illuminations brought great fulfillment to me as an artist to arrange compositions (much like a choral conductor) that explore relationships between predictable and unpredictable, pure and tainted, skilled and naïve. Through the formation of these visual ensembles, I hope to convey all that is beautiful about creative collaboration . . . “spontaneity and preparation, inquiry and affirmation, mystery and clarity, spirituality and reality”.

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THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS CREATIVITY and COLLABORATION— Journey through A Joyous Exchange.

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here are no set formulas—no “magical steps” that lead squarely to creativity. Nor is there just one idyllic system that assures successful collaboration. Yet, there is certainty that without creativity or collaboration, Orlofsky and Johnson could never have achieved their ultimate and desired goal—co-creation.

As described in the introductions to this publication, this journey has allowed these artists to embrace what can be one of the most uncomfortable aspects of collaboration between creative and independent thinkers—compromise.

Compromise is viewed as a concession—often regarded as conformity, submissiveness, or even weakness. This biased view undermines the potential and beauty of collaboration. Conversely, it is most helpful in many situations to view compromise more accurately as sharing, empathizing, and expanding empowerment.

Most individuals (particularly creative ones) have strong preferences. They hold personal views about aesthetics, processes, values and even meanings. Early in this collaborative journey, the artists determined to not only tolerate but to intently embrace that temporary anxiety of compromise and all that it entails to pursue a grander purpose and again, their ultimate goal of co-creating.

Orlofsky and Johnson knew that they would need a strategy or mechanism to move them forward toward this target. Although thrilled with the culminating beauty between the meditations and the illuminations, they were overjoyed with the process itself. It was literally life giving—theopneustos—“God-breathed”.

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Hoping to not paralyze the process with layer upon layer of specificity, the collaborators adopted a simple but profound method that would help guide them through the collaborative journey. The circular graph on the subsequent page illustrates their process. The graph is viewed as a wheel rather than a circle because the mechanism and the movement was far more than circular—it truly propelled the collaborators forward, backward, upward, and inward. The process has been highly mobile, deeply organic, and has offered numerous opportunities for the co-creators to pioneer new and unpredictable artistic practices.

“Before imagery was, meditations were . . . ” After all, “illustration” is traditionally meant to compliment the written word. A textual narrative is commonly delivered to an illustrator who then interprets or expands upon the words with various degrees of artistic liberty. At the earliest points of this collaboration, it was easy and quick to claim that the words (meditations) would come first.

But from deeper inspection, it was realized that the meditations themselves originated from, at least in part, other visual and visceral elements from the author’s experiences.

Words do not come from nothing. Therefore, the positioning of “meditations” as the initial phase of this process was only intended for the sake of a visual construct— recognizing that none of these four phases are absolutely in sequence. This graph represents a sequential process but was certainly not the definitive route throughout this journey.

The flow chart below loosely represents the working order of this co-creative journey.

The first arrow and the last arrow in the flow suggest that "something never comes from nothing; nothing never comes from something". Therefore, this model simply captured a

momentary snapshot within the eternal and iterative process of creativity.

i MEDITATION

i EXPRESSION

i ASSOCIATION

i ILLUMINATION

i

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THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS

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MEDITATION—the written word

ASSOCIATION—the visual link

Orlofsky has spent much of her adult life observing and writing about her experiences as a musician, choral conductor, daughter, mother, partner, mentor, friend, and person of faith. She wrote essays as a means to capture some of the universal truths and emotional and aesthetic depths of her art as well as to give voice to her appreciation for the complexities and emotional journeys found in everyday life.

An additional step in the process was the inclusion of visuals. Some of the images originated from the contemporary Italian artist—Carmine Errichiello—whose paintings hold a special place in the heritage and experiences of Orlofsky. Other images were photographs— initially from Orlofsky’s daughter Lizzie—who has a terrific eye for finding beauty in the mundane, or deeper meaning in the seemingly ordinary. Some of these photos reciprocally inspired the essays of Orlofsky. Others were tangential, supplemental or even interpretive to the meaning of the written meditation. Either way, these photographs were important links in the process that offered visual fodder to Johnson who would use them in part or in full as a springboard to a larger and more imaginary composition.

As mentioned in the introduction to this catalog, Orlofsky received an inspirational challenge from her dying father to publish her essays (meditations) so “others can understand why you do what you do”. Although this compilation represents only a small portion of Orlofsky’s essays, the artistic collaboration and resulting exhibit are testaments to the power of a father’s influence.

EXPRESSION—the visceral response Throughout this collaborative process, Orlofsky would pass along the written meditations to her collaborator—Johnson, who would then read and note keywords, phrases, and emotions, along with other cognitive connections, being careful not to filter out thoughts or ideas too quickly. It was considered best to read slowly, marinate in each line of the meditation, follow the intellectual as well as the emotional context and respond with authenticity. The goal was to allow for creativity to spawn by exploring not only the pragmatic but also the novel or less predictable connections.

ILLUMINATION—the digital synthesis Throughout much of the digital artwork, Johnson infers the idea of “suspension” or “dangling”. Whether a rope, a stretch of twine or a chain, these visual elements are threads that have run through his personal artwork for over a decade and have proved pivotal throughout this project. The suspended elements became visual pathways to guide the viewer through the composition as a hiker might explore the forest—discovering symbols and meanings along the path.

Historically, much of Johnson’s artwork is rooted in early Christian symbolism and religious iconography. He enjoys generating symbols with new meanings while holding onto more traditional ones. For example, an egg may represent “new birth” or a feather might represent “flight” or “freedom”. On the other hand, a weathered tool may represent “passage” or “pain”.

Preceding each meditation/illumination pairing, is a columnar explanation of the process that led to each illumination. Orlofsky and Johnson hope that each viewer will be challenged to discover new meaning in their own journeys and will hopefully find beauty in the ordinary—familiarity in the strange.

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A JOYOUS EXCHANGE

The Art of Collaboration DIANE D. ORLOFSKY

AND

JERRY R . JOHNSON

M E D I TAT I O N S D I L L U M I N AT I O N S

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MEDITATION

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

A Grief Expressed

glory ascending mystery/romance above and below heaven and earth angelic/marvelous poised/postured respected antiquity passage light and dark hope touching/reaching blooming/budding seeking/compelling destiny/passage chiaroscuro ephemeral healing

Photograph of a portion of a canvas painting by Panzano, Italy-based artist, Carmine Errichiello (taken by the artist himself).

“We all share the mystic union of singer and song. Grief no longer just observed. Grief shared and endured and gloriously expressed.�

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ILLUMINATION Like the ancient ruins of Italy, memories become weathered touchstones for a spiritual journey moving both backward and forward. This work of art evokes a sense of timelessness connecting the consequence of distress with the glorious gift of hope.

14 his ailing body. Toward the end, my family members would divide up the day and stay with him, in order to provide extra eyes and hands. My days consisted of rehearsals or classes in the mornings and caregiving in the afternoons.

What an odd juxtaposition that was. Leading my singers through the poetry of song, expression, nuance, and emotion, then retreating to the built-in quiet and monotony of caring for someone who sleeps most of the time.

I didn’t realize until well after my dad’s death that working through those musical selections moved me through the stages of grief more quickly than if I had not had the experiences. I vividly recall one rehearsal where we were rehearsing a piece that I had commissioned from composer Eric William Barnum. The words for “Confessions” were a uniquely personal choice of text (from Book X of St. Augustine’s Confessions).

A Grief Expressed “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness . . . at other times it feels like being mildly drunk or concussed.

There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in . . . There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don’t really mind so much, not so very much, after all . . . on the rebound one passes into tears and pathos. Maudlin tears.

I almost prefer the moments of agony. These are at least clean and honest.

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘No answer’. It is not the locked door.

It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze.

As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, ‘Peace, child; you don’t understand’” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed).

I can usually relate so well to the writings of Lewis; however, my most recent excursion into the world of grief and mourning didn’t resemble this at all. Quite the contrary. I had a clarity of mind and a centering of my emotions rarely experienced. Unusual calm. Pragmatic actions. I approached the impending death of my dear father almost like I would a task analysis. Logical sequences. Predicted outcomes.

My dad endured a rather slow descent. His mind remained keen, his fight and sense of humor intact. However, he was betrayed by his organs and often expressed annoyance at

You. I must pass beyond memory to find You. I shall look for You so that my soul may live.

When my soul is bathed in light that is not bound by space, When it listens to the sound that never dies away.

When it breathes a fragrance that is not borne away, I will look for You. But we, O Lord, are your little flock, but we, O Lord, keep us as Your own.

Spread your wings. And let us shelter beneath them.

You. To rejoice in the truth is to rejoice in You. It is not as though I do not suffer wounds, but I feel rather that You heal them over and over.

You. There were several occasions during rehearsals that I moved far inside the piece, overwhelmed by the textual application to what I was experiencing outside of the rehearsal hall. When the choir would finish the last note, tears would often be streaming down my face. I didn’t know it then, but my spirit was being given a gift— an opportunity to experience grief unaware. Loss of this magnitude was a foreign and disconcerting journey, but cloaked in the familiarity of the choral experience, the road was calmly and quietly navigated.

Sopranos, in measures 3 and 4, lean into the dissonance. You are describing the deep suffering of the soul. Go into the sound and lean into the dissonance. Don’t shy away from the aural discomfort. Gentlemen, work your way through the chromaticism; it is symbolic of the peeling away of memory, to find the Eternal.

Conversations like these allowed me to simultaneously explore and connect to my own pain and then breathe through the singers’ expressions of that pain. I let them do the heavy lifting. I just went along for the ride.

What a gift. These meditations were inspired by such musical experiences. All choral conductors have had them. We all struggle to find the right words to describe them, but we all instinctively know what happens. We all share the mystic union of singer and song. Grief no longer just observed. Grief shared and endured and gloriously expressed.

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MEDITATION Setting Eternity in Our Hearts “God simply says, ‘I am enough— I stand outside of time’.”

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

eternity contemplation introspection counter/balance asymmetry/duality juxtapose spatial veiled/guarded separate/holy fragile irony light/heavy • light/shadow unlock seduce/dare strategy explore threaded/tied connected iron and soil rust and life past/memories present/circumstances foreground/background

Gate leading to a small cemetery outside the Chiesa di San Giorgio alla Piazza (a Romanesque chapel in a hamlet of Castellina in Chianti, consecrated circa 1084).

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION Gates can protect us, restrain us. However, they can also offer access to “the other side”—which is frequently considered greener and full of hope and opportunity. This illumination embraces and explores the near side of the gate while not ignoring that seductive, mysterious portal to the other side.

Eternity is not sealed from the viewer. Eternity cannot be partitioned.

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Human beings are fairly predictable and woefully inadequate when they try to describe eternity. I can almost hear Blake’s reluctance to rein in the Divine in Auguries of Innocence:

Setting Eternity in Our Hearts

To see a World in a grain of sand, And a Heaven in a wild flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, And Eternity in an hour.

Joy and Woe are woven fine, A clothing for the soul divine; Under every grief and pine Runs a joy with silken twine.

Some, like Solomon, acknowledge that the eternal begins and ends with God and that all other speculation is futile: He has made everything appropriate in its time.

He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not

find out the work that God has done from the beginning even

to the end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

So, should we take up residence in moments of quiet reflection and contemplation regarding the nature of eternity?

I must pass beyond memory to find You. Or should we be content to ask questions that receive no definitive answers?

But what is my God? I put my question to the earth.

It answered, ‘I am not God’, and all things on earth declared the

same. I asked the sea and the chasms of the deep and the living

things that creep in them, but they answered, ‘We are not

your God. Seek what is above us.’ I spoke to the winds that

blow, and the whole air . . . whom you seek.’ I spoke to all the

things that are about me, all that can be admitted by the door

of the senses, and I said ‘Since you are not my God, tell me

about him. Tell me something of my God.’ Clear and loud they

answered, ‘God is he who made us’. I asked these questions

simply by gazing at these things, and their beauty was all the

answer they gave (St. Augustine, Confessions, Book X).

God simply says, “I am enough—I stand outside of time”.

I shall look for you, so that my soul may live.

He speaks, and eternity filled with His Voice,

Re-echoes the praise of her Lord (Joseph Swain)

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MEDITATION

Anatomy of a Choir “Celebrating our commonalities while bringing our unique stories to the music.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

peace/precarious curious weathered/aged suspended/above corners hidden/discovered perched/observation perspective/above/vantage solitude reflective gestalt complimentary distant song forgiveness/breaking free life longing intervals/proximity present looking above directional dance visual choreography

A window in Panzano, Italy.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION Ensembles of any kind require a multiplicity of players—each contributes for the sake of the whole—the gestalt. This illumination features a dove that obviously holds primary focus in the staging. However, this is only due to the effective work by other players in the arrangement: a branch, a vine, or even a rope. Something as obvious as an oval frame or as nuanced as a cast shadow helps make an ensemble work.

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Anatomy of a Choir

To fully realize the exquisite depth of a motet, the playfulness of a madrigal, the universal truths of an anthem, or the heartbreaking significance of a requiem, we need each other.

Soprano uniting with alto, tenor working with bass— hidden mysteries in the interchange of voice parts.

Making one line fluid, each detail creating a difference in the canvas of sound.

Working shoulder to shoulder, note to note, breath to breath.

Celebrating our commonalities while bringing our unique stories to the music.

Choral music is so much more than notes on the page, conducting nuances or external validation by audience applause.

There are joyous exchanges or connections that are forged between

the composer, the choir, the conductor, and the greater community that last well beyond the final note that is sung.

These relationships are equal parts

spontaneity and preparation,

inquiry and affirmation,

mystery and clarity, spirituality and reality.

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MEDITATION

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

Front and Center

life/death strong/fragile peculiar/vulnerable intention/tension gripped loosely discomfort/abrasive ineffable afraid to be broken ugly/beautiful tortured/oppressed expectancy/dread anticipation near/nearly bizarre contrast insecure

Bottom of a door, Siena, Italy.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

“Front and center becomes a sanctified platform from which to point to the Creator and Originator…

God’s step stool.”

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ILLUMINATION Extreme tension may come from being front and center. Some people are called into these types of roles; others are thrust into them. The conflict of being both confident and vulnerable is very real. It has been said, “one cannot be brave unless one is afraid�. This illumination exudes the timeless and precarious state of being in the limelight (as is the egg in this image) and being in the shadows (as is the seedling). Neither is greater nor lesser.

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Front and Center

As a child, I liked being the center of attention. I used to stand on a little stool, with its expertly stitched needlepoint cushion and deliver dramatic monologues, dressed in my red velvet holiday dress. “Not by the hair of my sinny-sin-sin! An’ he huffed and puffed and blew dat house all in!” As my chubby legs would curtsy, everyone would clap and smile, and I saw my reflection in their eyes.

As I aged, the comfort level involved in standing front and center diminished, being replaced by extended periods of self-doubt. Goodness knows, as a musician it was tested enough. Between piano recitals and competitions, singing recitals and choir tours, and many years spent in front of choral groups, I never seemed to feel as much at home being front and center as I did on that step stool.

Somewhere along the road, the opinions of others began to matter more than the sheer exercise and pleasure of creating art. Placing too much focus on the art form and its delivery rather than on its Creative Source invariably led full circle to more selfdoubt. Leave it to C. S. Lewis and Mother Teresa to remind me that I am to be merely a channel, a conduit, a conductor, and a reflection. Front and center becomes a sanctified platform from which to point to the Creator and Originator . . . God’s step stool.

The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if we are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited . . . he who has God and everything else has no more than he who has God alone (The Weight of Glory).

Help me to spread Thy fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Thy spirit and love. Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of Thine. Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Thy presence in my soul . . . (John Henry Newman, adapted by Mother Teresa).

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MEDITATION Tapestry “Give me a choir filled with ensemble voices and ‘even though’ will cease to matter.”

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

humor/whimsical/playful quietly/secretly tangled break rules/trespass evidence/history inquisitive risk natural/unnatural baited/lured suspended struggle/complicated rhythmic/chaotic/pattern repetition/pursuit tethered disappointment/joy

Lake on Bush Family property, near Brundidge, Alabama. Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION There is something comforting and safe about order. People complain about order and rules but generally pursue them—intentionally or not.

Interesting things can occur when order gets disrupted. The results can be complexity, unpredictability, and even entanglement. This illumination was a study of how numerous—somewhat disparate—parts can become harmonious either through casual connection or “divine orchestration”.

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Tapestry

Ensemble voices don’t think they are as good as others in the choir, even though they are.

They are consistent, durable, and beautiful threads in the choral tapestry.

Ensemble voices offer their vocal gifts willingly, joyfully, and faithfully, even though they don’t have to.

They are the ones my eyes connect to while leading, and my heart fully understands because I am one of them.

Ensemble voices want the song to continue long after the last note is sung, even though others have moved on.

They are the ones who can sing with full intention because the way is unimpeded by thoughts of self-importance.

Give me a choir filled with ensemble voices and “even though” will cease to matter.

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MEDITATION Unplugged “Let me become one with the music He provides.

The spirit unplugged.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

introspection/entrance guarded/invited sanctuary/quiet warmth gentle breeze unscheduled no burden listening welcoming haunting/alluring common/majestic analog organic light aged/fresh

Abandoned storefront, downtown Troy, Alabama. Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION Sanctuary is rarely guaranteed yet all are invited to it. Like most things of great worth, sanctuary does not come easily and must be pursued with intentionality. This illumination exhibits an “inviting/not-so-inviting� weathered doorway. An array of obstructions may impede or discourage entrance. It might just be that sanctuary exists on both sides of the door for those who accept and honor its presence.

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Unplugged

True worship can be quiet, gentle, and reflective. Some say it should be.

Exaltation doesn’t require volume to exist.

After all, why are church spaces called sanctuaries? They should be sacred places where we can come away from the world and find a place to think, to breathe, to ponder great mysteries of the Spirit, and to be alone with our private responses.

No one needs to prescribe or script corporate worship.

There were no such scripts on the Mount of Transfiguration. We are told there was only genuine awe—the kind that took the breath out of grown men. There was glory and majesty—inspired by the Light of the One Who allows for individuality and freedom in worship.

I am convinced that we hide behind the noise. We are, perhaps, too afraid to face the possibility of transfiguration, and what will ultimately be required of us when we come down off the mountain.

So, let me marvel and tremble, whisper and rejoice. Let me become one with the music He provides. The spirit unplugged.

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MEDITATION

Finishing Touches “When the canvas of the music is realized, the artist in all of us can smile.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

form/wedge beginnings cold/material colorless/color thoughtful creative wonder process raw materials tools medium clutter/order wonderful, arduous labor chance intentional modeling tweaking/revising fruitful joy

Abandoned storefront, downtown Troy, Alabama. Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION Painting, singing, writing, dancing—all of these art forms require craft just as they require process. This visual interpretation celebrates the artist’s iterative process of art making along with the soulcraft necessary to produce more than just an object or an experience. Purpose, meaning and joy come from the personal transformation acquired throughout the journey known as process.

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Finishing Touches

It is hard to imagine how exquisite finished pieces of pottery begin as formless, monochromatic lumps of clay, and I wonder whether an artist enjoys the messy initial part of the creation process or longs to reach the finishing touches stage?

I enjoy the latter. There is great satisfaction in moving past learning notes and rhythms. That part is hard. That part is time consuming. That part is messy and tedious and sometimes disheartening—the musical equivalent of “throwing a pot”.

But, the finishing touches!

Molding the interchange of voice parts.

Moving one part up ever so slightly; one dynamic level down; making one line fluid, each detail making a difference in the canvas of sound.

Sanding off the rough edges of wrong notes and incorrect rhythms.

Painting with sonorities and the unique tone colors of the singers.

And finally, when the canvas of the music is realized, the artist in all of us can smile.

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MEDITATION

Maria’s Song “She had discovered a safe place where she could be vulnerable to a myriad of distant connections between music and memory.”

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

mind heart soul nostalgic memory takeaways connections internal/external safety/risk familiar/foreign vulnerable altered state/dreaming beauty/flaws/practice journey hope

Window of house, Troy, Alabama.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION There is nothing insignificant about small things or the silent moments.

Maria’s Song inspired this illumination to celebrate wonder and innocence.

Something as little as an acorn could someday become a tall, mature oak capable of hosting hundreds of memories throughout its lifetime. The hand-carved wooden cherub (made from oak) holds a naïve gaze at its own ancestry—knowing yet unknowing.

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Maria’s Song

For me, music and memory are hard to separate.

After every episode of the old TV show, Lassie, someone whistled an evocative tune in a minor key while the closing credits rolled. I was just four years old at the time and I didn’t know anything about aesthetic responses, but the song always made me cry right about the time that the whistler was joined by a chorus of stringed instruments. Lassie would even raise her paw as if to acknowledge the power of the melody. My mother threatened to ban the show because it seemed to provoke such a consistent, melancholy reaction.

Now I understand why I experienced this powerful response and why Barber’s “Adagio for Strings” took my breath away as a young college sophomore, hearing it for the first time. Why, to this day, I associate “Just a Closer Walk with Thee” with the tender relationship between father and daughter, both earthly and spiritually.

This song was the only one my father and I ever performed in public, so music and memory were inextricably woven together—reminding, provoking, comforting.

I can see why music was the only thing that would soothe King Saul or why we gravitate to settings that express adoration, patriotic fervor or yearning for peace or for homeland. It is as if we need to deposit our private, precious memories and the feelings they evoke to the safety of a musical context.

I recently visited my aunt with whom I share an affinity for music and culture and education. While there, I had the opportunity to hear her granddaughter play the violin. Maria didn’t know that I was watching as she lovingly fingered her instrument, stroking it like the fur of a beloved pet, as she prepared to demonstrate her skill. I listened while she channeled her innocence into a familiar melody. It struck me that Maria, unfettered by a life filled with associated memory, was creating something outside herself that was equal parts grace, beauty and authenticity. For those moments, she transcended the tentative awkwardness of her years. Music had become her second language—her special lexicon. She had discovered a safe place where she could be vulnerable to a myriad of distant connections between music and memory. I envy her journey.

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MEDITATION Storytellers “Each voice sings with love and intention and meaning.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

construct grid/grow modular/organic narrative intentional/iterative tapestry partial/comprehensive expanding individual shared/communal synthesis gestalt rhythm variety/unity building together harmony balance one another

Abandoned store, downtown Troy, Alabama.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION This illumination honors the complexity and beauty of the quilt (or choir).

The “sum of its parts” is celebrated in this nocturnal composition. The lone lily, a beautiful, singular voice staged in the framed window, is bowing in adoration to the majesty of the collective—the community.

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Storytellers

A quilt begins with a square.

Each square, a thing of beauty.

Each square is stitched with love and intention and meaning.

Some squares tell their own story; others merely allude to the hands and the history of the seamstress.

Individually, they offer one perspective.

But when different squares make the journey to the quilting table, the end result brings beauty, warmth, comfort, a sense of home.

And a story is told.

A choir reminds me of a quilt.

A choir begins with a voice.

Each voice, a thing of beauty.

Each voice sings with love and intention and meaning.

Some voices readily tell their own story; others slowly make their musical journey toward self-expression.

Individually, they offer one perspective.

But when different voices make the journey through the rehearsal process, the end result brings beauty, joy, community, unity.

And a story is told.

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MEDITATION Blessings Brightly Lit “I heard life’s final sigh, more profound than any music could ever be.”

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

life and death profound deep breath deep pain breathless no pain surrender/victory hold loosely vapor/vanish love scripture doubt/hope/faith unknown glass darkly depart/arrive comfort the other side earth/heaven eternal

Prayer altar inside Santa Maria del Carmine, Florence, Italy. Photograph

by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION That final breath—the fateful and unforgettable gasp that signals mortal transcendence from this side of life to the other. This illumination offers tribute to that haunting moment as both collaborators witnessed this final breath alongside their earthly fathers. This most intimate, profound experience demonstrably changed the lives of both artists. What remains is represented in the three lit candles—Father, Son, Holy Spirit—in Whom these two fathers now reside. In Whom these collaborators hope.

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Blessings Brightly Lit

I saw him breathe his last, leaving us for the Father’s care.

I had, hours before, circled his bed with loved ones, feeling the need to provide comfort for the living with prayers and songs and scripture and poetry.

Feeble attempts, intermingled with earthly sorrow and heavenly hope.

Efforts eclipsed when, in silent vigil, I saw his soul depart.

I heard life’s final sigh, more profound than any music could ever be. . . . I think I was much helped by my own father after his death: as if Our Lord welcomed the newly dead with the gift of some power to bless those they have left behind . . . Certainly they often seem just at that time to be very near us . . .” (C. S. Lewis from a 1951 letter to Miss Vera Mathews)

. . . By blessing brightly lit, keep going toward

That blessed light that yet to us is dark.

(Wendell Berry, IV, Sabbaths 1999)

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MEDITATION

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

United by Song

connectivity remembrance takeaways attachments music/song violin humor sacrifice harmony nostalgia generational voice/rising/vaulted tentative supporting “closer walk” saints/heaven father/daughter love

Madonna and Child in the courtyard of the Museo del Bargello, Florence, Italy.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

“We are united, not in body, but in song.”

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ILLUMINATION Nostalgia and warm memories imbue this composition. The timeless melody of an old hymn is stitched into the background of a daughter’s remembrance—good thoughts of a father who enjoyed singing, lived his faith, and loved his daughter.

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United by Song

I feel closest to my late father when I am singing in church.

We are united, not in body, but in song.

My dad really didn’t read music very well. Sure, he could follow the melodic contour of a melody, but ask him to read a baritone line and his response would be, “What is this stuff, Greek?” He told me that when his mother was alive, he studied violin. But the lessons went away when his mother died. He was the oldest of six children and was needed on the fruit and vegetable truck.

He loved to sing. And he had a nice voice.

He and I sang one public duet in our lifetime. It was “Just a Closer Walk with Thee”. He sang melody and I harmonized around him. Many years later, when his health was failing, I took a hiatus from singing in the church choir to sit next to him in the congregation. I wanted to sing next to him, to offer support for his failing voice with mine.

Now when I sing, I look to the top of the church’s vaulted ceiling. I raise my eyes to the heavens, where I believe my father is residing. And I know that he is singing around that Throne. Full throated and strong and whole.

So, I raise my voice and smile.

“I hear you, Dad. I’m singing with you, Dad.” United by song.

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MEDITATION

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

Impression in the Snow

Christmas surprise/unexpected haunting light/simple melodic wonder/wander footprints snow cold/warmth/fresh memory/music melancholy sky above bird/wing/angels starlight heaven new birth covering

Yard in Troy, Alabama.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

“Memory and music and melancholy all intertwine, like the impression of childish footprints on a snowy landscape.�

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ILLUMINATION Isn’t it ironic how a dusting of snow can both cover and reveal? It may hide some history but at the same time it reveals the most recent past—like footprints. This illumination attempts to offer visual evidence that someone wandered into the snow-covered area, stopped and curiously investigated what was revealed as well as what was hidden. The mirror locket as well as the cast shadow infers someone greater is observing the wanderer.

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Impression in the Snow

If you were to ask me what my favorite Christmas song is, my answer might surprise you.

It doesn’t have a complicated melody. It doesn’t boast a complex rhythmic structure. It is hauntingly simple. Many think it came from an anonymous Appalachian source. However, it was actually penned in 1933 by the folklorist and singer, John Jacob Niles. He heard a young girl named Annie Morgan sing a repeated line of music at a religious meeting in North Carolina. Niles took those brief lines and came up with the tune that we now know as “I Wonder as I Wander”.

One of the things I loved doing as a child was to slip out of the house at dusk after an extended snowfall. Everything was blanketed with snow, sound was muffled and lights were impressionistic and muted. I wanted to be the first to walk on the blank snow canvas. I’d sit on the swing set, looking back at my footprints, and sing this song. Or maybe I didn’t sing it and I only now superimpose the song on that memory.

Either way, the song is a favorite. I can revisit that simple childhood act every time I hear or sing the piece. Memory and music and melancholy all intertwine, like the impression of childish footprints on a snowy landscape.

I wonder as I wander out under the sky, How Jesus the Savior did come for to die. For poor on’ry people like you and like I, I wonder as I wander out under the sky.

When Mary birthed Jesus ‘twas in a cow’s stall, with wise men and farmers and shepherds and all. But high from God’s heaven a star’s light did fall, And the promise of ages it then did recall.

If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing, A star in the sky, or a bird on the wing, or all of God’s angels in heav’n for to sing, He surely could have it, ’cause he was the King.

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MEDITATION Alleluia “I was sure that these songs were just as enduring, just as meaningful, just as lovely—perhaps more so because these songs rose out of devotion and community and love.”

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

Father/father Italy/Italian Tuscany Florence His/his presence café/coffee churches reflections shadows embracing gratitude lingering locals/community/folk Alleluia rustic liturgical enduring devotion love benediction eternity

Photograph of a portion of a painting

by Panzano, Italy-based artist, Carmine Errichiello (taken by the artist himself).

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ILLUMINATION This illumination is an amalgamation of place and person—Tuscany, Italy and the writer’s father. This composition is a montage of some of the most meaningful memories of a father who enjoyed all things Italian, including the architecture. He also loved masonry work thus the central positioning of the trowel.

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Alleluia

A year after my father died, I, along with my husband and two daughters, travelled to the Tuscan hills. Dad was immensely proud of his Italian heritage, and he passed his sense of place and familial connections down to me. However, I wasn’t fully prepared for what happened to me as I looked into the faces of the hurrying Florentines. Often, I would turn and slightly gasp because I felt like I had seen him, could palpably feel his presence. Whether it was the old man in a café, hunched over his newspaper or the worshipper in any one of several churches that I visited, it didn’t matter the place. Dad was everywhere. I heard him in every loud, boisterous conversation. I saw him reflected in the eyes of the old woman hanging out of her window, observing the commerce below. I felt him in the warm embraces of our hosts. At every turn, I knew I was being gifted with shadows of my father, and they were comforting and reassuring. I, in turn, felt compelled to visit every church I saw and light a candle in his memory. Not as acts of worship, but as tangible offerings of gratitude.

One Sunday, I attended Mass at La Parrochia de Santa Maria Assunta located in a small town called Panzano, high in the Chianti hills. Out of all the villages and towns that we visited, Panzano felt like home. I could see myself lingering there, exploring its streets, gazing from its terraces into the distant Tuscan hills. Santa Maria Assunta was the Italian version of the little neighborhood church. We sat on the hard, wooden pews and waited while the locals filtered into the church. Very old women, mothers chasing their mischievous children, a few middle-aged men— I half expected chickens and dogs to be welcomed in this place.

What happened next surprised me. It didn’t matter that my rudimentary Italian vocabulary kept me on the periphery of participation during the service. When the villagers began to sing the first hymn, language ceased to be an issue. After all, Alleluia needs no translation. The folk melodies of the responsorials seemed to be preludes for the simple, rustic liturgy, which Father Parroco made complete with his baritone narrative. I was a part of this community and I didn’t need narrative to fully participate.

The music offerings were unpretentious and pure and so very far from the highly packaged, polished and brilliantly branded choirs I was used to hearing. The Panzano choir would never be heard by international critics. The songs they sang would never earn a place on a CD and their director would never receive the adulation of devotees. Yet I was sure that these songs were just as enduring, just as meaningful, just as lovely—perhaps more so because these songs rose out of devotion and community and love. As I reluctantly left that place, I uttered a silent benediction and prayed that their songs would never end.

Perché tu solo il Santo, tu solo il Signore, tu solo l’Altissimo, Gesu Cristo, con la Spirito Santo: nella gloria di Dio Padre. Amen.

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MEDITATION

Aging Topography “Time dampens sound, but has not diminished the intricacies of music, the effervescent laughter of youth, the serenade of infant murmurings, and the precious voices of aged loved ones.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

blurring low vision/unclear depth transformation aerial atmosphere time lapse effervescence youth/aged purity/wholesomeness creative simple opening/doorway/gate familiar aging/maturation decay/attrite still reaching/embracing releasing contentment/containment

Warehouse door in Brundidge, Alabama.

Photograph by Lana Johnson.

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ILLUMINATION From a safe distance, the experienced butterfly observes a younger version of itself—a larva temporarily housed in a cocoon. The cocoon rests precariously between two worlds awaiting transformation—when it will give wing to places yet known. All lives experience transformation.

In this illumination, even the common sunflower demonstrates various stages of life.

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Aging Topography

Vision blurs. Distance becomes uncertain and clarity dulls. Yet somehow, experience transforms sight so it becomes prismatic in its scope and aerial in its perspective.

Time dampens sound, but has not diminished the intricacies of music, the effervescent laughter of youth, the serenade of infant murmurings, and the precious voices of aged loved ones.

Tastes change, compelled by bodily intolerances or medical dictates. Yet there is a return to what is pure, whole, and naturally sweet—the fruit of the earth—creativity in simplicity.

Smell, too, sharpens and longs for what is familiar and unadulterated. It is a link to distant memories and a gateway to new adventures.

Hands are speckled and wrinkled; arms are less than toned. But their reach is expansive; their embrace is safe, their grip, powerful. Letting go is required far too often these days and is an ever-present reminder to

Examine deliberately.

Listen intently.

Break bread leisurely.

Breathe deeply.

Embrace securely.

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MEDITATION A Sense of Place “This place is bedrock unearthed which offers sure footing for future journeys and still provides a path to lead me home.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

refuge sanctuary ownership touchstone returning home depth/connection visceral holy/set apart pathway origin timeless warm value/worth meaning foundational home

Laguna Beach, Florida at sunset.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

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ILLUMINATION Can places hold memories? It might be difficult to prove, but what compels us to return to a place with deep meaning and connectivity? A place where colors, fragrances, and sounds all resonate vividly with our emotions? This composition explores that Sense of Place. The seagull returns to a familiar place marked by collected materials and memories.

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A Sense of Place

Everyone should claim a sense of place—a spot on this earth that compels each to return—a touchstone that beckons, invites and embraces.

I know such a place.

It remains frozen in time; in fact, time ceases to exist there.

Frequent pilgrimages reassure me that those remembered sights, smells, sounds, and cherished people did indeed exist. They are not just part of a recurring dream.

I came into my own in such a place.

I learned to shed what was expected.

I cultivated foundational beliefs and ethical underpinnings there, installing them as my core. I became a more authentic version of myself in such a place.

So, it is not surprising that I regard this place as holy ground; this place is bedrock unearthed which offers sure footing for future journeys and still provides a path to lead me home.

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MEDITATION

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

Remaining in the Moment

compelling profound slight place/war history/maps danger/interruption England/Italy Spain/Germany warning attentive/ignore

Old sprinkler alarm bell outside of store in downtown Brundidge, Alabama.

Photograph by Lana Johnson.

“I love ephemeral musical moments that hold you.�

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ILLUMINATION In the middle of impending alarm, life goes on. It’s not that we desire to tolerate or embrace calamity—it’s just that life is too short to stop at every looming threat. This illumination shows the raven attentive to the needs of her offspring—from birth to flight—regardless of potential peril.

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Remaining in the Moment

I love ephemeral musical moments that hold you.

Suspend you.

Shake you.

Knock the breath out of you.

Make you wish the transient experience would never end.

My friend, Jerry, tells of one such time in his life. The story doesn’t need explanation or application. It just needs to be told: “This is when I was a grown-up kid, overseas in London, before we went over into France. It was a lousy time with those miserable buzz-bombs the Germans were dumping on London—motor driven craft with no glide ratio, so that when the engine went off, they’d come diving down, loaded with explosives. I went to a concert one evening (I even remember it was in Wigmore Hall!) to hear Pablo Casals play Villa Lobos, Bach and a haunting Spanish composer named Castelnuovo-Tedeschi. The Brits, in their lovable, crazy way, always mounted a set of lights on the front of the stage. As I recall, it was yellow when there was an alert, red when there was a buzz-bomb passing overhead, and then [they] went off when it was over.

It was a brisk evening overhead, let me tell you. That light kept going yellow, then red, then out. Not a soul in that audience moved . . . and old Pablo never dropped a stitch. There, my dear Diane, was a community of music. With him playing that way, who in the devil wanted to go schlepping off to the shelter?” (Jerry Bruner, email correspondence, April 26, 1999).

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MEDITATION Transformation “Her motives shift, her vision sharpens, her visage softens.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

transform metamorphosis growth/change maternal/caring/forming bending/molding life and death/process protecting/guarding treasure/storage a window entrance/exit passage vulnerable fragile must grow/must go releasing hope

Storefront behind Main Street of Brundidge, Alabama. Photograph by Lana Johnson.

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ILLUMINATION The writer provided the visual artist additional information regarding her daughters’ favorite toys while they were infants—a stuffed teddy bear and a stuffed rabbit. Likenesses of these infant toys are suspended in this illumination, representing the mother’s care for each individual child.

Both are cradled in a loosely protective and nurturing hedge. The idea of a mother’s care and cultivation is exuded.

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Transformation

Remember the toys from the 1980s called Transformers? Those hunks of plastic resembling utilitarian vehicles could, with a few deftly executed flicks of the wrist, transform into phantasmal robots with superpowers only limited by the imagination.

Something greater than the sum of their parts would slowly emerge by merely bending and twisting, rotating and manipulating.

What did my fingers do before they held him?

What did my heart do, with its love?

I have never seen a thing so clear . . .

I shall not let go. (excerpt from Three Women by Sylvia Plath, 1962)

Mothers are transformers, in a way. The child bends and molds her, at times twisting and turning and bending her to the point of breaking. What emerges is a stronger, bolder, fiercer version of her tedious former self. She now loves supernaturally.

Her motives shift, her vision sharpens, her visage softens. Her embrace becomes a fortress; her loyalty is unyielding and her affection, eternal.

I shall be a wall and a roof, protecting.

I shall be a sky and a hill of good . . .

How long can I be a wall, keeping the wind off?

How long can I be gentling the sun with the shade of my hand Intercepting the blue bolts of a cold moon?

How long can my hands Be a bandage to his hurt, and my words Bright birds in the sky, consoling, consoling?

It is a terrible thing To be so open; it is as if my heart Put on a face and walked into the world. (excerpt from Three Women by Sylvia Plath, 1962)

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MEDITATION

My Name is Love “I empty myself completely to consequently fill another.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

growing emptying vicarious surrender caring others others more than self trust/trusting precarious vulnerable/resilient obedience/loyal humble/serene enduring permanence power Designer/God influence fulfillment Source/God Love/love

Storefront behind Main Street of Brundidge, Alabama. Photograph by Jerry Johnson.

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ILLUMINATION When considering spiritual pursuits, we often think vertically—Heaven above or Earth below. This illumination depicts a more horizontal mapping of our spiritual journey. It represents the expression of Love as more literal and more lateral (earth-level). This is why the horizontal ladder is integrated into the composition. From the artist’s point of view, it more accurately represents the intention of God’s love—Love toward us. Love within us.

Love around us. Love between us.

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My Name is Love

I am a consistent process of growth.

I empty myself completely to consequently fill another.

I surrender all and care for nothing but the other’s good.

I sacrifice myself on a well-worn altar, expecting nothing.

I shower myself continually on those who may not even know my Name.

I am a multi-faceted personality.

Trust is my first name; it makes me vulnerable and resilient.

Obedience is my middle name; it reveals my humility and serenity.

Endurance is my last name; it proves my permanence and power.

I am a means to an end.

When one knows me, he also knows my Designer.

When one becomes involved with me, he is fulfilling a higher decree.

When one cannot exist without me, he realizes his dependence on my Source.

My name is love . . . teach us to love.

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MEDITATION

Celestial Gardens “You summon the guardian angels promised to all defenseless ones.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

fear/trepidation/concern powerless unattainable/unable vulnerable losing grip torn prayerful hedge summoning guardian angels watching/protecting powerful ambiguity calm/reassuring warning lover of the child immortal justice for the child trust the Almighty care for the little ones or else

Storefront behind Main Street of Brundidge, Alabama. Photograph by Jerry Johnson.

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ILLUMINATION Celestial Gardens offers several coverings that a mother or parent could command to protect their children. The world is not necessarily looking out for the interests of the children—that is the nature of the world. This depiction conveys that we are not left alone to our own devices to guard those who are most vulnerable. Guardian angels have been given charge, just as we have, to defend the children. Children are the top priority of Almighty!

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Celestial Gardens

The world encroaches on the child you bore into it like some ominous, tentacled Cyclops, and you are rendered impotent. Like a precious object just beyond reach, you realize that your grip is no longer strong enough to steady her; your vision is too limited to see around her next corner. This child broke you open as she entered the very place that now threatens to break her. You are at impasse with the world and are powerless to protect and defend the child of your heart.

And so you pray. You pray a strong hedge be built around her by Divine hands. You summon the guardian angels promised to all defenseless ones. Not the sanitized, comic-strip variety long imagined, but the majestic beings described by our Lord.

I love how Catholic theologian, Romano Guardini, juxtaposes our perverted view of these angelic beings against the full import of scriptural context:

“In the course of time the picture of the guardian angel has been spoiled, as has so much that is great and beautiful in revelation. Out of the angel has grown a kind of governess who keeps children from falling off bridges or being bitten by snakes.

The powerful creature of the Scriptures has degenerated into a sentimental, if not ambiguous picture-postcard figure. In reality, the angel is God’s earliest creature, one of such insupportable majesty and power that when he appears to men his first word is ‘do not be afraid!’ He himself gives the power to bear his presence. Concern for the welfare of the soul in his charge is shared between him and God; he protects it through error, pain and death. And now Christ says: you, who would deflower the natural holiness of a child, beware! Behind him stands his angel, and behind him, God! When you harm a child, you make yourself a fearful enemy. He will keep silence; you will notice nothing at the time; but one day you will realize the immortal dreadfulness of the hour in which he became your enemy” (Romano Guardini, The Lord).

What is left to do but trust? You must acknowledge that He loves your child much more than you do as He gave His life for her. You must surrender with gratitude to the ultra-protective instincts of the Almighty.

See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually behold the face of My Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 18:10) If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better if a large millstone were hung around the neck and they were thrown into the sea. (Mark 9:42)

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THE MATERNAL LOVE TRIPTYCH TRIPTYCH ONE—

From A Joyous Exchange Throughout the collaborative process, twenty-four “meditations” have been vetted through a process and ultimately “illuminated”. In two instances during this collaboration, illuminations have resulted in the form of triptychs. A triptych is a picture in three parts. The triptych is a very popular format in the visual arts for a range of reasons and ultimately, can be displayed together or as individual pieces.

The collaborators determined that three meditations with strong “maternal” and “love” contexts deserved to be portrayed in a triptych format. Each meditation and illumination has distinct meaning but they also are empowered as a set of three.

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MEDITATION Bestemor “Art invokes the past, inspires the present, and investigates eternity.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

mother/grandmother costume jewelry dress-up old photo Christ lace handkerchiefs dresser/drawer clandestine/curious oil painting/portrait woman string of pearls/value smiling/mysterious countenance facial semblance Anna loss/premature sad/quiet/solemn selah regrets/wishes eternity

Sheet music found in abandoned school (J.W. Cooper School) in Shenandoah, Pennsylvania.

Photograph by Lizzie Orlofsky.

Treasured photograph of maternal grandmother (original was a small oil painting).

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ILLUMINATION “One Hour With You” is the title of a song that is printed on sheet music provided to the artist. This song was one of two visual associations for the development of this illumination. The meditation is deeply moving and mysterious—deserving of vintage Italian tenebrism. The small scale of the found photo of Bestemor cannot accurately describe the expansive impact on the life of the writer.

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Bestemor

My mother sometimes let me play with her costume jewelry during adventures in dress-up, and it was during one of those expeditions that I found a 2 1/2 by 3 1/2-inch picture in an old metal frame.

It was Warner Sallman’s traditional rendering of the head of Christ, hidden under some lace handkerchiefs in a drawer. Curiosity got the better of me, so I removed the back of the frame while looking over my shoulder in case Mom rounded the corner.

There, I was amazed to find a small oil painting; the woman in the portrait took my breath away. The artist had painted her dress a vibrant azure and she wore a long string of iridescent pearls.

Her smile was more pronounced than Mona Lisa’s, but not by much.

More importantly, I saw myself reflected in the architecture of her face.

“Oh, that’s who I look like,” I remember thinking.

I don’t recall how long I examined the painting or how many times I secretly returned. When I finally got up the nerve to ask about the portrait, I was simply told that it was my grandmother, Anna, who died in a car accident when my mother was just four years old. Nothing more.

My grandmother’s portrait now resides in a prominent place in my home.

I wish I had known her.

I know I would have liked her.

A 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 reminder that

art invokes the past, inspires the present, and investigates eternity.

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MEDITATION

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

Set Apart and Blessed

holy/set apart purpose/perfect eternal/temporary anonymity/blend in special/unique common/ordinary conforming “Have a nice day” mystery wonder blessings care for others sweetness goodwill blessed above/highest

Tin siding of warehouse in Brundidge, Alabama. Photograph by Jerry Johnson.

“I wonder if the world would significantly change if we cradled and cared for each other more, honoring the mystery, preciousness, and fragility of life.”

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ILLUMINATION In an ordinary day, the most positive salutation one might receive (or offer) is something akin to “Have a nice day!”. This “jean patch” version of edification undermines our enormous potential to bless others.

This illumination is a complex visual interplay where a single, contemporaneous and trite nicety is a poor substitute for offering meaningful, powerful, effectual words of encouragement and hope. In the background of this composition, the blessings from “Saints of Old” linger in the shadows in the form of pendants.

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Set Apart and Blessed

Sanctus. Benedictus.

Most musicians will recognize these as liturgical musical settings. But I think we might have lost sight of what the words actually mean in a broader context. Sanctus is, of course, referring to holiness . . . something that is wholly pure, without blot or stain. It also can mean “set apart”.

Unfortunately, we are not a society which particularly values items that are special and unique. These days, everything seems to be expendable. It used to be that we cherished possessions that were old and worn and respected people who represent history and wisdom and experience. But today, objects are just not set apart anymore for their individuality or distinctive character. Most people strive to blend in, to be anonymous in the crowd, and to fade into the pale, mundane background noise of conformity.

Benedictus speaks of blessing and is an offering of praise.

Giving benedictions or blessing to each other is an extinct custom. The best we can come up with is “Have a nice day!”

I wonder if the world woud significantly change if we cradled and cared for each other more, honoring the mystery, preciousness, and fragility of life. What would happen if we issued daily benedictions to each other that meant something or we showered those we encounter with sweet words of blessing and honor like balms of good will.

I wonder.

Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus, Dominus Deus Sabaoth.

Pleni sunt coeli et terra gloria tua.

Osanna in excelsis!

Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domini.

Osanna in excelsis!

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord, God of power and might, Heaven and earth are full of Your glory. Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.

Hosanna in the highest!

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MEDITATION Sun, Steel and Shadow “My life stories allow me to find solace in the dissonance and rest in the resolution.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

dissonance/discord contradiction inconsistent tension non-resolute spice/texture/variety lean in sharp/intentional sun/steel/shadow rough shards/edges alternate perspectives interplay overlap connectivity resolve

Left-side view of old vehicle in front of warehouse in Troy, Alabama.

Photograph by Lana Johnson.

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ILLUMINATION Sun, Steel and Shadow inspired the visual exploration of a seemingly ugly, worn, weathered, and abandoned vehicle—possibly only salvagable for use as scrap metal or as art. Would this object have a greater voice or purpose if it were repaired, painted, and shiny? This artist determined to lean into those very elements associated with decay, dissonance, deterioriation, and dying, assigning them a new collective voice.

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Sun, Steel and Shadow

Dissonance: n. 1. A harsh, disagreeable combination of sounds; discord. 2. Lack of agreement, consistency, or harmony; conflict. 3. Music: A combination of tones contextually considered to suggest unrelieved tension and require resolution.

I’m not really sure why dissonance is something to be avoided. It is the spice in the music. It is the Sturm and Drang. I don’t think I’d enjoy choral music nearly as much if harmony remained “Pollyanna diatonic” and we never got to experience holding our own part amid the dissonance around us, appreciating the tension and release within the harmonic dialogue.

One of my conducting teachers taught me to lean into the dissonance—to make it bite.

I never really understood that concept until I stood on the other side of the podium.

Maybe the longer I live, the more my cumulative life experiences allow for a greater appreciation of the interplay of sun and steel and shadow. My life stories allow me to find solace in the dissonance and rest in the resolution.

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MEDITATION Inauguration “They breathe life into text; they move our ears to places that require a second and third and fourth hearing to even begin to understand significance.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

stacks/lists collectibles beginnings/birth inauguration process detail/raw/crude authentic artistic freedom boundlessness color spectrum tonal landscape life/breathe daring vivid/rich texture

Central view of old vehicle in front of warehouse in Troy, Alabama.

Photograph by Lana Johnson.

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ILLUMINATION This illumination continues to embrace the raw and unrefined presence of things in life. This antique Desoto will never be as glamorous as it was in its early days. However, awkwardly juxtaposed among the rusted antiquity are suggestions of new life. The nesting blue jay and the suspended budding rose offer new life to this backdrop. There may be meaning in the legacy of the decaying remnants but there is magic in the expectancy of the new.

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Inauguration

If you were to look at my bookshelves, or glance at my playlist, or linger a moment in front of pieces from my ceramic pottery collection, you would notice that many of them represent the “front edge” of an artist’s, writer’s or composer’s career. The works come during The Time—that period before the author becomes well known or before he has to follow a formula for commercial success.

There is something about a first novel that speaks to me. The young writer usually takes such great care crafting truthful dialogue or prose that is so detailed it reminds me of a photograph. The words waltz off the page and resonate long after I put the book down. I often approach an individual’s second literary attempt with great caution, trying not to be disappointed when it just doesn’t live in the inaugural magic of the first.

First pottery pieces are often much cruder than ones appearing in later collections, too. But oh, I find that those young artists often embrace color and form almost as if they are realizing the potential of the wheel, the vastness of available color palettes, the privilege of throwing clay, the boundlessness of artistic freedom.

Choral music is no different. I believe it is essential to support composers who are exploring the tonal landscape in profound ways. They breathe life into text; they move our ears to places that require a second and third and fourth hearing to even begin to understand significance. As a human being well past the middle of life, I celebrate daring first attempts at greatness. Sometimes this greatness is merely foreshadowed; other times, it hits a bulls-eye. In either case, the world is richer for the effort.

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MEDITATION 3:23 “Enduring peace, everlasting pardon, abiding hope.�

EXPRESSION

ASSOCIATION

light above shadow eternal seasonal cosmos/heavens constant sustainable strength/hope peace/pardon/forgiveness repair scarred/rust/corrupt torn/ragged more hope/abiding hope many blessings renewal

Right-side view of old vehicle in front of warehouse in Troy, Alabama.

Photograph by Lana Johnson.

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ILLUMINATION 3:23 is based upon promises—simple but eternally profound declarations.

There is nothing static about constancy. Nothing dated about timelessness. When one thinks of changing not, it’s quite possible that one thinks that something will become tired or obsolete. After all, this is the human experience—things break, they weather, and they cease to exist. This illumination discretely presumes that among the world’s rubbish and ruin exists a presence that honors even the dying. Dying is renewal.

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3:23

No shadow of turning, changing not.

Seasons and galaxies, echoing constancy.

Today’s strength, tomorrow’s hope, renewing daily.

Enduring peace, everlasting pardon, abiding hope.

All of these with ten thousand blessings beside.

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THE DYING DESOTO TRIPTYCH

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TRIPTYCH TWO—

From A Joyous Exchange For many years, the front end of this antique automobile has been situated near a warehouse in downtown Troy, Alabama just off the square. It has drawn little attention from passersby for reasons other than “there’s an interesting old car”.

It was determined that this melancholic hood and grill would be repurposed for the sake of art and for the transference of an enduring message.

There is no singular thematic context that runs through the set of meditations paired to this triptych (as was with the “The Maternal Love” triptych). From these meditations one can easily exhume a general sense of revival from ruin, meaning from magic, and hope from hopelessness. The commonality of this triptych must be the visual subject itself—“The Dying Desoto”.

Even though this deteriorating vehicle is somewhat disposed and displaced, it is also on glorious display: declaring to observers that its lasting identity is not disappearing—simply transforming.

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CONCLUSION

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FUTURE ITERATIONS— For A Joyous Exchange

Subsequent to the exhibition of this collaborative series, the question arises, “What’s next?”.

Orlofsky and Johnson certainly see their shared creative venture as one that has brought developmental growth to their individual crafts, disciplines and processes. Collaborating and co-creating has led to a range of personal gains. According to some studies, interdisciplinary experiences such as this increase one’s ability to recognize bias, to think critically, to tolerate ambiguity, and to acknowledge and appreciate ethical concerns (Kavaloski 1979, Newell 1990, Field et al. 1994, Repko 2008).

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It has already been determined that the collaborators will shuffle their adopted creative model and have the writer create textually in response to a provided illumination. This will make for a disruptive role-reversal in order to create a third triptych. The association (or visual link) will come first, then Johnson will generate an illumination without influence from a previously provided meditation or theme. Orlofsky will then respond with her own expressions (visceral responses in words or phrases). These responses will then inspire a new set of three, written meditations. Orlofsky and Johnson look forward to seeing where this wheel of creativity leads.

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REFERENCES

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Augustine of Hippo. (397-8/1961). Confessions. Penguin Classics.

Berry, W. (2005). Given. Counterpoint.

Field, M., Lee, R., & Field, M. L. (1994). Assessing interdisciplinary learning.

New Directions in Teaching and Learning.

Guardini, R. (1954). The Lord. Regnery Gateway.

Kavaloski, V. (1979). Interdisciplinary education and humanistic aspiration:

A critical reflection. In J. Kockelmans (Ed.), Interdisciplinarity and

higher education.

Kierkegaard, S. (1956). The prayers of Kierkegaard. University of Chicago Press.

Lewis, C. S. (1961). A grief observed. Bantam Books.

Lewis, C. S. (1976). The weight of glory. Harper One. Lewis, W. H. (Ed.). (1966). Letters of C. S. Lewis. Harcourt Brace.

Newell, W. (1990). Interdisciplinary curriculum development.

Issues in Integrative Studies.

Newman, J. H. (n.d.) “Radiating Christ” (or Fragrance Prayer). Adapted by Mother Teresa.

Niles, J. J. (1933). “I wonder as I wander”.

Orlofsky, D. (2002). Redefining teacher education. Peter Lang Publishing.

Plath, S. (1998). Poems. Alfred A. Knopf.

Repko, A. F. (2008). Assessing interdisciplinary learning outcomes.

Academic Exchange Quarterly.

Sooy, M. (2006). Essays on Martin Luther’s theology of music. Blue Maroon.

Swain, J. (1791). “O Thou in whose presence my soul takes delight”.

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