Jerk December 2016

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When they go low, Jerk goes high.


CONTENTS DECEMBER 2016 Speaking Up 24 Five women at Syracuse University share the reasons they didn't report their sexual assaults. From lack of a survivor community on campus, to the time-consuming tediousness of the Title IX process, to fear of being doubted, speaking up isn't easy.

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Ball Busters 38 ‘Tis the season to don our gay apparel and make some merry. Longexposure photography captures classic velvet and flowing tulle mingling in ways you’d least expect. We're not tiptoeing around this Nutcracker season.

A Poetic Intersection 48 Cody Benbow lives at an intersection as gay, muslim man. Gazing out the window of a bus, Benbow finds solace in writing poetry and observing the world around him.

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Cover Design by Diana Steinmetz Photography by Fiona Lenz




JERK THIS What you should hit up or bitch about this month.


21 +/Rudolph's Revenge TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC POLL Feminism


Home is Where the Mold Is Did your landlord mention that you’re probably never getting your security deposit back?


NOISE PACKAGE "I'm with the band."


REWIND 2006: Millennial Music's Best Year


NO JUDGMENT Anne Hathaway




SYNAPSE Forbidden Love

Law & Disorder

Families of 9/11 victims are trying to kill the pain by suing Saudi Arabia.



SEX A Hairy Situation



Surviving Together In the aftermath of sexual assault, survivors are not alone.



A Toast to Toast Toast isn’t going to kill you, and your fad diet has no health benefits.



Certified Real The media are unecessarily putting labels on women's body types.

Brew it Yourself Pop, fizz, clink: Beer tastes that much better when you brew it yourself.


Sk8r Boi

Put on your old checkered Vans, punk is not dead.


DISCOVERSYR Tour a Greek-style bakery just in time for holiday indulgence.


SPEAKEASY Under The Spotlight


OBITCHUARY Marshall Street


CLOSET CASE These bedmates are platonic, guaranteed.


FORM AND FUNCTION How to Dress Like Daddy Got You What You Wanted


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Susanna Heller EDITOR IN CHIEF

Eric King

Gigi Antonelle

Diana Steinmetz







Michelle Abrams Jordana Rubin, Erin Reeves, Sami Albert, Minjung Kim, Melanie Dujmich, Liz Coulbourn, Rachel Morgan, Tay Lotte, Sam Reimnitz



Madelyn Minicozzi Hannah Meader STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Kasey Lanese, Fiona Lenz, Flora Chen ILLUSTRATORS Erin Reeves, Alena Sceusa, Tori Thomas, Yoori Jee, Stephanie Peter ILLUSTRATION DIRECTOR



Anagha Das Rachel Young, Larry Stansbury, Olivia Berger, Brooke Tanner, Liam Keyek, Hadassah Lai, McKenna Murtha COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR PR REPRESENTATIVES


Aidan Meyer WEB EDITOR Leah Strassburg ASST. WEB EDITOR Tanya David ASST. WEB EDITOR Marylin Musterait ASST. WEB EDITOR Ellie Breslin ASST. WEB EDITOR Bridget Whitfield ASST. WEB EDITOR Olivia Bosar WEB DESIGNER Jena Salvatore PHOTO EDITOR Chaz Delgado SOCIAL EDITOR Jordan Cramer SOCIAL EDITOR Jensen Cannon DIGITAL INTERN Emily Kelleher DIGITAL DIRECTOR


Esmeralda Murray Christina Tornetta


CONTRIBUTORS AbbyLeigh Charbonneau, Annie O'Sullivan, Rashika Jaipuriar, Caroline Colvin, Saniya More, Lucas Spain, Hannah Fiore, Kelsey Thompson, Cory Fernandez, Madeline Fournier, Christina Borza, Angela Luo, Katherine Paszek, Xidng Wei, Mona Yun, Alec Erlebdcher, Brian Perilla, Rachel Maglio, Megan Thompson, Melissa Cubit, Ally Moreo, Cory Fernandez, Lyndon Pan, Kay Thomas, Lindsay Mary Jones


Chris Sechler Amber Ragunas



Melissa Chessher

Through its content, Jerk is dedicated to enhancing insight through communication by providing an informal platform for the freedom of expression. The writing contained within this publication expresses the opinions of the individual writers. The ideas presented in this publication do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Jerk Editorial Board. Furthermore, Jerk will not be held responsible for the individual opinions expressed within. Submissions, suggestions, and opinions are welcomed and may be printed without contacting the writer. Jerk reserves the right to edit or refuse submissions at the discretion of its editors. Jerk Magazine is published monthly during the Syracuse University academic year. All contents of the publication are copyright 2016 by their respective creators. No content may be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the Jerk Editorial Board.

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Extra, Extra Over the past four years I've devolved into a SWUG who is liable to be found in Chuck's or my bed, but I used to be a dilligent student. Like any former overachiever with low self-esteem, I did every single COM 107 reading my freshman year. My professors told me print was dead and Vine was my future, and I believed them. Still, the first club I got involved with here was a snarky magazine that I never really intended to stick with. The thing is, Twitter killed Vine this October and I still flip through my favorite magazines in glossy stock paper. I stuck around Jerk longer than I had intended because the work we do here matters. This magazine has shaped my college experience for the better—one trite Mean Girls reference at a time. So get in, losers. We’re reading the December issue. (Sorry, Eric.) On page 16, we raise a toast to all the so-called gluten-sensitive bitches. May we know them, may we loathe them, and may we call them on their bullshit. Then on page 30 we celebrate 2006, the year that gave birth to all of our favorite throwbacks. Most importantly, on page 58 we break down the Title IX inevestigation into SU, illuminating the university’s “sexually hostile environment” with the stories of sexual assault survivors who chose not to report their experiences. Next semester, many student publications, Jerk included, will lose a substantial amount of their funding. For many communications students, campus publications are the only source for professional experience. Jerk amplifies voices that would otherwise go unheard in the deepest crevices of Syracuse and demands that students transcend their apathy. There’s a good reason as to why we willingly spend 24+ hours in fluorescent-lit labs every month, and it’s not because we get a sick satisfaction from correcting misplaced modifiers. Print magazines are an invaluable asset to this community, and print is the furthest thing from dead—fuck anyone who tells you otherwise. We’ll keep printing three times a semester until the man cuts all of our funding,


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HATE MAIL Jerk tries not to disappoint our readers because we’re too busy disappointing our parents. Like a freshman from Connecticut rushing DKE, we’ll do anything to get your approval. And if you’re going to talk shit about us, at least @ us.




SHOW US SOME LOVE Jerk Magazine 126 Schine Student Center Syracuse, NY 13244 @jerkmagazine



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Contributors Photography by Flora Chen and Christina Borza

CAROLINE COLVIN / Junior / Brew it Yourself If you were to walk down the street one afternoon and see a billboard with Colvin’s face on it, it would likely be to promote the movie made about her life: Moody, Gay, and Sensitive: The Caroline Colvin Story. This magazine journalism major from Bethesda, Md. is rarely without her phone charger and her ChapStick. Her favorite joke is the Trump presidency, which you can forget about while reading her article about homebrewing beer on page 34.

ANNIE O’SULLIVAN / Sophomore / Certified Real Like most of us, O'Sullivan has a thing for 80s movies and Heath Ledger. If she were to have her own auto-biographical movie, it would be called Basic Beyond Belief, and would feature her navigating one of the greatest first-world problems: what to do when your Starbucks gift card runs out. Check out her article on page 18.

CHRISTINA BORZA / Freshman / Ahnest! While some Jerk contributors told us about their policy change ideas if they were to win the U.S. presidential election, Borza is adamant about throwing a party in the White House. She would invite all the past presidents and Beyoncé, and would likely serve Cheez-Its, her snack addiction. She gets props because she told us Jerk Magazine is her favorite publication. You can read her interview with Ahnest! on page 60.

ALEC ERLEBACHER / Graduate Student / Ball Busters Erlebacher is a graduate photography student, and that’s pretty cool, but we would like to use this space to tell Jerk's readers that during his undergraduate tenure, he cast a solid bronze door knocker of his balls. Check out his fashion editorial on page 38, but don’t expect to see any of his fashion pet peeves—drop-crotch pants, bedazzeled denim jackets, and Crocs. Catch him over the weekend screaming “Roxanne” by The Police and adding maple syrup to his tea.


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JERK THIS The official start of winter break

Dec. 2-3

Dec. 17

Because we all wish we were kids again when finals week rolls around.

In other words, the means free laundry at your parents’ house.


Syracuse Stage presents Peter Pan

Dickens Christmas Weekends in December

DeadPhish Orchestra at Westcott

Time-travel back to 19th century Skaneatles for a Charles Dickens-inspired holiday. Very Gilmore Girls.

Dec. 8

A combination of Phish and Grateful Dead songs best enjoyed with a Twisted Tea.

Fences Dec. 25

Passengers Dec. 21 Ninety years on a spaceship with Chris Pratt all to myself? Where do I sign?

Viola Davis and Denzel Washington reprise their roles in the Tony-winning play on the big screen. And that's how you get away with murder.

Shit we like Syracuse v. Georgetown

Dec. 2

Dec. 17

With Shia LaBeouf as the lead, how are we supposed to take this seriously?

Literally no one is even going to be here.

Electors vote Wanderlust: Travel Dec. 2 Photography from the SU Art Collection. As if your study abroad Facebook album wasn’t self-aggrandizing enough.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Dec. 16 Really, another one? When will this cruel lifetime be over?

Dec. 19 The apocalypse is officially set into motion.

Kenny Rogers Dec. 20 Mediocre country music and 700 Trump supporters? No thank you.


Dec. 21

Brought to you buy the same people who brought you minions. 10 12.16


Shit we like to avoid


Man Down

Rudolph’s Revenge


Who is going to have a red nose? You, once you down a couple of these bad boys at the office holiday party after you get rejected under the mistletoe for the third year in a row. Emotions are high, and after thinking about spending a month at home with your family, so are you. But just because it’s cold outside doesn’t mean you can’t warm up with some unholy spirits—and this recipe is sure to turn your white Christmas into a full-on blackout.

Ingredients hisky 1 part Fireball W ams Kentucky illi W an Ev rt pa 1 Whisky n bo Straight Bour da so am 2 parts cre

Directions Pour Fireball, Evan Williams, and cream soda. Mi x and serve with a pre ferred garnish—perhaps a Xanax— and a healthy dose of regret.


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CLICKBATE What We're Getting Off To On The Web This Month

JERKMAGAZINE .NET We know you have it bookmarked, but just in case.

Jerk of The Week

Ball Busters

We are kicking off a weekly series that highlights notable advocates, influencers, and artists in the area who are actively positively changing the way we experience the world. First up is Adham Sharkawy, a photographer and graphic designer who you should follow @adhamnbacon.

Our multimedia team takes you behind the scenes of this issue's Nutcracker-inspired Gawk photo shoot. After you're done flipping through the print spread, watch the pages come to life online. We bring you a visually stimulating experience that you won't be able to click away from.

Campus Law & Order: Sexual Assault

The Raw Truth

Despite University-sanctioned awareness campaigns, rape culture is still prevelant at SU. While most students have less-than-supportive interractions with SU's resources, other have found solace in reporting their experience to University officials. SU just might do more for victims than we give them credit for.

Despite instances of sexually transmitted diseases increasing this year to the highest rates in 20 years, U.S. college students aren't doing much to prevent themselves from contracting them. The social pressure to bare back it might result in ignorance on college campuses. Grab your rubbers, kids. This one's going to shock you.

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One of the most divisive issues on college campuses is feminism. Now that we have an evil gremlin with multiple rape allegations as president, this is the best time to talk about it. Jerk asked 100 meatheads in Schine Student Center to give us their take on the second sex. Illustration by Yoori Jee

ARE YOU A FEMINIST? a. Of Course! (70%) b. No (12%) c. I don't care (18%)

WHAT’S THE FIRST WORD OR PHRASE THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND WHEN YOU THINK OF A FEMINIST? a. Strong (70%) b. Annoying (14%) c. That girl who wont fuck me (2%) d. "Run the World (Girls)" by Beyoncé (14%)

DOES YOUR FEMINISM INCLUDE ALL WOMEN, OR JUST RICH, WHITE, AND STRAIGHT WOMEN? a. I'm in the middle of a bell hooks work at this moment. (82%) b. I'm trying, but I still think Lena Dunham is a good person. (6%) c. I'll accept whoever into the movement as long as I can retain my privilege. (12%)

WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO IDENTIFY AS A FEMINIST? Nothing. I am literally the reincarnation of Susan B. Anthony.



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Hairy Situation You know that thing where you accidently type "pubic" and not "public"? These stubbly stories about waxing, shaving, or neither are even more awkward. Illustration by Stephanie Peter

Wax on, Wax off

My best friend, a true goddess and Wonder Woman, waxes her own vagina. I, a weakling, was amazed by her courage and independence and asked if she would show me her ways. After I chickened out several times, she ordered me to lie down on the floor of her South Campus apartment and take my pants off. She applied a pre-waxed strip that she swears by to my outer labia. I immediately realized I'd made a huge mistake, but there was no going back. I begged her not to rip off the strip, but I was in too deep. After that first strip was brutally ripped from my vag, I realized the pain was no worse than, say, a Guantanamo Bay torture tactic. She proceeded to wax the rest of my snooch, and I've never looked back.

Close Shave

My boyfriend is really hairy. Hairy butt, beard, stomach, back— everywhere. He had been complaining about how hairy his gouch is and that the hair gets in the way when he shits, and he's sick and tired of it. We have been dating for two-and-a-half years, and last month I trimmed his gouch hair for him using an electric trimmer. I literally sat under his ball-sack and ass while he spread his legs. He is now as comfortable as ever.

Beat Around the Bush

I was hooking up with this football player in high school, and he didn't shave his pubes. So I said "fuck it" and stopped shaving mine. After we had a bad break, he tried to roast me in front of 20 of our friends for having a "bush" down there. Gerald, I don't know where you are now, but fuck you and your hypocritically hairy dick, too.

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New Face Lindsay Mary Jones Senior Art Photography When it comes to art, I always try to find new ways to collectively use different mediums in my work. I love everything about the hands-on process and the ability to physically manipulate by using your hands. It is such a powerful form of expression, especially in this digital age. I think it's important to explore your potential when it comes to mixed media, because without testing the waters you'll never know what you're capable of.

To showcase your work in Framed, email



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TO TOAST The "gluten-free" trend unwittingly turns a serious medical condition into a fad diet. By Lucas Spain : Illustration by Erin Reeves

If you have been diagnosed with celiac disease, you can stop reading this article right now. Go do something fun to distract yourself from the fact that you can’t eat Wheat Thins. This article is for all you non-celiac-disease folks who have either chosen to go gluten-free or are at least considering it. I’m here to tell you that, without a medical diagnosis, your decision to cut gluten out of your life could be a display of ignorance and the need to conform to stupid societal trends. The gluten-free trend has peaked the past few years. According to the market research firm Nielsen, the annual sale of food products with “gluten-free” labels skyrocketed from $11.5 billion in 2011 to over $23 billion in 2015, but there’s no way the sole 3 million people living with celiac disease in America buy that much gluten-free food. A huge portion of the consumer base is likely made up of people who consider themselves “gluten sensitive.” These people don’t have celiac disease, but report feeling many of the same symptoms after eating gluten that those with celiac disease report. Keep in mind that “gluten sensitivity” isn’t recognized as a

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real diagnosis within the scientific community. The best available proof of the sensitivity comes from a 2011 study done by Peter Gibson at Monash University in Australia, who concluded that gluten sensitivity “may exist.” Dr. Joseph A. Murray, gastroenterologist and expert on celiac disease, says that in order to be deemed gluten sensitive, there is a pretty extensive checklist to pass, including “negative blood tests for celiac disease and no sign of damage on an intestinal biopsy, symptom improvement when gluten is removed from the diet, recurrence of symptoms when gluten is reintroduced, and no other explanation for the symptoms.” If you can check off every single one of these, you might have a gluten sensitivity. I would bet my A- in PAF 101 that the majority of people who have deemed themselves “gluten sensitive” haven’t been tested. What’s more likely is that they felt shitty, read an article about the health benefits of going gluten free, stopped eating gluten, and magically felt better. In this case, it would be perfectly logical to assume that gluten was the culprit behind their shitty

BITCH symptoms, but scientists say there are other factors that could have been the reason for the disappearance of symptoms. Because junk food will almost certainly get the axe on a gluten free diet, many might snack on yogurt instead of chowing down on a sleeve of Oreos. Similarly, fruit salad might take the place of cake for dessert. The disappearance of your shitty symptoms could really just be the result of your healthy eating and not have anything to do with the lack of gluten in your diet. You could still feel better by simply giving up the junk food for a healthier alternative, while also still being able to reap the benefits of healthy foods that contain gluten. Face it: Gluten sensitivity is a lie you tell yourself. In the previously-mentioned Australian study, researchers compiled a population of people who don’t have celiac disease but suffer from many of the same symptoms that people with the disease have. The participants completely cut gluten out of their diets but still felt the same symptoms. Then, the scientists asked all of these

participants to completely cut FODMAPs out of their diet. FODMAPs are different types of sugars that certain people’s bodies can have trouble digesting or absorbing.They can be found in foods that have gluten, but they can also be found in lots of other foods that don’t have gluten like onions, apples, and pistachios. After reading the amount of FOODMAPs in their diets, almost all of the participants reported that their gastrointestinal symptoms and fatigue improved, proving that gluten may not be the culprit. It hasn’t been proven that gluten sensitivity exists, yet everybody is hopping on the gluten-free bandwagon. All I’m saying is that there are some things you can do before you decide that gluten is an agent of Satan placed on Earth to give us upset stomachs and farts that could kill. Could you be sensitive to FODMAPs instead of gluten? Is it possible that four nights a week of drinking and drunk ordering Dominos might have more to do with your overall shitty feeling than gluten? That’s for you to decide. JM


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"Real” women are often portrayed as less appealing than their "unreal" model counterparts. By Annie O’Sullivan

The trends set by fashion magazines appear everywhere: in women’s hairstyles, makeup, and even lingerie. Magazines decide what the "it" girl looks like, and women line up at stores and hit the gym to prove that they too are hot stuff to be desired. The great thing about a diverse college campus like SU is that everyone still thinks they are too cool to #conform, and still has their look. Walk through the quad, and you can see everything from spiky chokers to ankle-length, floral skirts on women of various heights, sizes, and skin colors. Ladies are embracing and showcasing their differences, and magazines are being commended for their occasional use of “real women.” Whatever that’s supposed to mean.

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Fashion magazines, one of the major trendsetters, typically use the same size-two white model, and to be blunt, it’s getting pretty damn old. Featuring women the magazine designates “real” has become a trend in itself, and highfashion magazines across the globe are hopping on the bandwagon to prove that they too are progressive and inclusive. But the concept of “real women" is bullshit. These women are portrayed as less than their model counterparts, and the occasional publishing of a single issue based on “real women” does not mean magazines are breaking any of the skinny beauty standards in the industry. But who decides which women are “real” and which women are not?

BITCH If your name is British Vogue, then you get to make that decision. This past November, British Vogue released its “Real Issue,” which was entirely model-free, save the cover graced by Emily Blunt. Throughout the issue, curvy models who wear plus-sized clothing are photographed and, in a way, it is nice to see more women that are representative of the average size 16 – 18 of women in the United States, according to New York magazine. Yet the media’s definition of “real” is inherently demeaning. To fashion magazines, “real women” are simply the opposite of high-fashion models, and in order to be “real,” you are unquestionably bigger and curvier than the models, celebrities, and actresses that are regularly featured in the magazine’s glossy pages. This is not an accurate representation of society. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, and while it’s great that magazines are being more inclusive of women who aren’t the fashion industry’s "sample size two," they are still excluding many body types with this label. Where are the "real" women who are short and stocky? Or body builder-esque? Unlike British Vogue, some magazines are making progress in the industry by publishing “real” content that is not determined by the publications themselves. Instead, everyday women are showing just how “real” they are. In their September 2015 issue, Redbook featured six regular women of various diversities and ages on the cover. According to Refinery29, these women were chosen after winning the magazine’s Real Women Style Awards for showing a “relatable, covetable, magazine-sellable style.” This issue broke boundaries; not only did they feature everyday women, but the women themselves proved their fashion expertise. The magazine did not decide who was “real” and who wasn’t. While Redbook may have featured “real women” in the issue, one is left wondering why real women aren’t always featured in the magazine. Long before British Vogue decided to publish

its “Real Issue,” editor-in-chief Alexandra Schulman said that Vogue only shows thin models because “people don’t want to buy a magazine to see what they see when they look in a mirror,” according to The Guardian. But the success of “real women” campaigns, including British Vogue’s November issue, proves Schulman is wrong. Women want a magazine where they can see people that look just like them. Women they can relate to, and covering what fashion magazines deem to be “real women” just one issue a year is not enough. It personifies the idea that these women are beautiful only when specialty issues are made surrounding them, but the term “specialty” should not even be attached to issues including “real women.” The term “real” is degrading, as it implies certain women, even fashion-models are not as real as their counterparts. And presenting these “real” women in a less-sophisticated manner only enforces the belittlement. The media need to stop putting them in long-sleeved shirts or clothes that cover up their uniqueness and flaws, which is all caused by the notion that “real women” can’t be too pretty or glamorous in order to be relatable. Just because these women are supposed to be "real" doesn’t mean they can’t wear designer clothes, look “effortlessly chic,” or be featured in skimpy apparel. Magazines are taking a real-sized step in the right direction. It’s good to see them featuring women who resonate with many of the readers, but it is necessary for them to show a variety of women based on things other than body type. Where are the disabled women and the women firefighters? Real women have amazing quirks, like big eyes, crooked ears, or even scars on their body. But they are also more than just their bodies; they are confident, intelligent, and empowering. There will never be one “real woman,” and magazines need to stop desperately trying to make a certain body type or appearance fit that stereotypical “real woman” mold. Let’s celebrate all women, of all body types, cultures, and skin colors—all the time, not just for one month out of a whole year. JM


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HOME IS E H T E R E H W MOLD IS Landlords are taking advantage of their SU tenants with upcharges and neglect—and we don’t even realize it. By Hannah Fiore : Illustration by Lyndon Pan It’s late August and you’re driving back to Syracuse to begin your junior year. You’re so excited that after two years of living in sub-par dorms, you finally have a house that you can call your own. As you pull into the driveway and see your new home for the next year, your heart pounds with excitement. You open the front door filled with anticipation, but instead of seeing the magical place you’ll spend the next nine months, you see filth. An old pizza box sits below your feet, bags filled with trash line the walls, and you’re pretty sure that the black and green dots on the ceiling are mold, not trendy wall accents. For Marissa Tortellini, a junior International Relations major, this nightmare was a reality. After getting her parents involved, she was able to get her landlord to agree to come clean the place. The worst part of this story is that horrifying housing conditions like this are commonplace for students. Not all landlords are created equal. I learned the hard way after dealing with my own for the past year and a half. Admittedly, some landlords aren’t too tyrannical, but there are a handful that make it feel like their only reason for existing is to make your life a living hell. Landlords make bank off of leasing apartments and homes to

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college students. Renting off-campus apartments to undergrad college students is profitable; according to Bloomberg, The stocks of American Campus Communities, a publicly traded studenthousing landlord, are up 44 percent. This increase can be attributed to the fact that even among economic uncertainty, there will always be money in student housing. Students will always need places to live and university housing will always be scarce and pricey. Bloomberg notes that the college landlord industry began in the late 1990s to satisfy the housing need for the 85 percent of students living off campus. Essentially, college enrollment has increased in spite of periodic economic recession, allowing landlords to turn a profit during times of economic turmoil. College students are a fairly easy group to take advantage of. I understand it might be difficult to respect people who treat any living space like DJ’s on the Hill and our alcohol-induced recklessness combined with our blatant disregard for our surroundings does not make us ideal tenants, but that doesn’t mean we deserve the respect of rocks. Will Gebbie, an SU junior, routinely complained to his landlord with his roommates


about a potential mold situation in their apartment. Instead of coming over to check out the problem, their landlord blamed the problem on their weed smoking habits, then threatened to call the cops. Unfortunately for Gebbie, this wasn’t the first time his landlord has caused problems. Gebbie’s apartment was such a disaster when moving in that his landlord had to reimburse his family for money spent on cleaning products. SU students aren’t alone in the overlord struggle. USA Today reported that the price of school-provided housing in Ithica was so high, students were forced off campus and into the hands of greedy landlords. According to the article, one Cornell University student got so desperate during her housing hunt that she signed a lease that allowed her landlord to kick her and her housemates out if they violated the lease terms. This is totally illegal under New York state law–any eviction needs a judgment from a court, and then a 10-day time window for the tenants to fix whatever the violation is. A Cornell student mentioned in the same article was forced by a landlord to pay the full semester’s rent up front, but had no choice if he wanted to stay in Ithaca. For many, college is the first time living away from home and they are essentially virgins when it comes to dealing with landlords. The first cut is the deepest; many aren’t aware of proper landlord-tenant relationships, and landlords know this-hence the moldy ceilings. Shitty landlordtenant relationships have got to go. Zillow offers some advice on how to maintain a positive relationship with your landlord, suggesting that you know your landlord’s expectations before move-in day. And, when move-in day comes, do a walk through with your landlord before you move your belongings in, and take pictures of everything. Having pictures of your sparkling clean bathroom could also serve as the necessary kick in the ass you need when trying to convince yourself a moldy shower really isn’t that big of a deal. Doing just a tiny bit

of non-school related work will save you from unreasonable landlords withholding security deposits due to damage they believe you caused Landlords are the devil, but it is amazing to have your own space after what feels like decades in the dorms; it keeps me going when dealing with my own horrible landlord. If you’re reading this and can’t relate because you and your landlord are tighter than Kim Kardashian’s dresses, then you should take a moment to realize how blessed you are. You should also know I probably hate you. JM


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Law & Disorder Fifteen years after the attacks on Sept. 11, families of the victims are seeking justice by suing Saudi Arabi, but opening a wriggling can of worms. By AbbyLeigh Charbonneau

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet,” or so our friend Shakespeare would have us believe. But as Congress proved this past September, apparently, a lot is in a name. So it’s no wonder that something dubbed “The 9/11 Bill,” backed by families of victims of the September 11 attacks slid through Congress like a searing katana through a tub of room-temperature margarine. And when that bill, officially called the Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act (JASTA), landed on Obama’s desk, he vetoed it. Congress overrode his veto. As I’m sure you all remember, Congress needs only two-thirds majority to override a Presidential veto. This vote came in at 348 to 77 in the House of Representatives, and 97 to one in the Senate. Per the great system of checks and balances that, along with bald eagles and trans fats, makes this country so great, Congress overrode Obama's executive veto. This all sounds wonderful. After all—who doesn’t support something called “The 9/11 Bill” besides Satan himself—and our current Commander-in-chief? This ultimate and historically unconventional culmination was just the confetti-cannon ending to Congress’s stunning show of immobility. The 9/11 bill allows civil lawsuits to be made against foreign state governments or officials for injury, damages, or death resulting from an act of international terrorism. What’s the definition

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of an act terrorism, one might be compelled to ask? Keep your Websters shut, because there isn't one. "There are many competing definitions of terrorism and international in both international and domestic laws," says Stephen Vladeck in an article from the council on foreign relations. There is no precedent. Diplomats, servicemen, and the U.S.A. are now left exposed and vulnerable to civil lawsuits for something that’s muddily defined at best. Foreign nations could take the bill and throw it back in our faces if they decided toact on the actions of U.S. personell overseas. The bill got so much support because some of the families of 9/11 victims have long believed that the Saudi government had something to do with the 9/11 attacks. The Saudi Arabian government has denied this and passed an investigation into the claims with flying colors according to CIA director John Brennan an article from The Atlantic. This hasn’t been enough for the families of the victims, who have felt no real justice in the wake of the tragic deaths of their loved ones. One has to wonder if there can ever truly be justice for such an event as 9/11. But this is not how they will get justice, and, according to Amber Phillips, a political writer for the Washington Post, even overseas nations understand the lasting, drastic impact this could have on U.S. foreign relations. Phillips writes that most of the lobbying against the bill has been from foreign countries, such as the Saudi government and even the European

BITCH Union. Ultimately, it is on our elected officials released from the White House, like the following: to know better than to ratify a bill because of “Concerns have been raised regarding potential public pressure. unintended consequences that may result After the veto was overridden, the same from this legislation for the national security officials who’d come out in support of the bill and foreign policy of the United States. If other days before suddenly seemed to realize what nations respond to this bill by weakening U.S. they’d done. They had an“oh, shit”moment, like sovereign immunity protections, then the United they basically woke upto see their phone screen States could face private lawsuits in foreign courts cracked, that they’d made 17 calls to their ex, and as a result of important military or intelligence slept through an exam—only a million times activities. We would hope to work with you in a worse. The human incarnation of Crush from constructive manner to appropriately mitigate Finding Nemo and senior Kentuckey senator, those unintended consequences.”You didn't need former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, to get a critical reading score of 800 on the SAT to actually spoke out, saying that he’d wished Obama understand those sentences. In fact, “unintended had given him more of a warning about how shitty consequences” was the exact wording later used the bill was: “I wish the president—I hate to blame by both McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan. everything on him and I don’t—but it would have The White House staff also called the bill a been helpful had he, we had a discussion about mistake, criticizing it for setting a dangerous this much earlier than last week. Nobody had precedent, and later called the override vote the really focused on the potential downside in terms “single most embarrassing thing Congress has of four international relationships, and I think it done in decades.” The staff also threw shade to was just a ball dropped.” Apparently, McConnell Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee, who voiced didn’t glean that from Obama's usage of the frustration with the bill but voted in favor of veto. Others also began to have second thoughts, it, saying that he would have to “explain to his suddenly realizing what this could mean for constituents why he supported a bill that he claims the United States. Senator Chuck Schumer, a to harbor significant concerns about.” Corker was democrat from New York, has not changed his one of 28 bipatrisan senators that eventually stance, but as the main backer of the bill and the signed a letter expressing their concerns over the representative of those New York families, this is bill and their willingness to change it. All 28 had far from surprising. voted in favor of the bill the week prior. So, ball dropped. If only Obama had been As such, congress was unable to do anything, more explicit with his disproval of the bill, and as its hands were busy cutting off its nose to spite not been as subtle in he was in statements its own face. JM

"One has to wonder if there can ever truly be justice for such an event as 9/11." JERK

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Four SU students share why they chose not to report the sexual assaults they survived. By Abby Leigh Charbonneau : Photography by Fiona Lenz

“I CAN HEAR YOUR SILENCE," was one of the statements written in bold red tape on the eight mattresses on the quad during the Oct. 4 protest this year, meant to call attention to Syracuse University’s mishandling of sexual assault cases on campus. This issue is far from exclusive to SU; studies have continuously has found that sexual assault and what’s known as “rape culture” is almost universally pervasive on college campuses. We spoke to four women on this campus who have survived sexual assault. They come from different organizations, majors, years, backgrounds, and interests. To respect the privacy of these women, we’ve decided to keep their identities anonymous by assigning them names—Amanda, Betty, Carla, and Eliza. These women were all sexually assaulted and all choose to not to report their experiences.

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AMANDA "I didn't report them at all. I never considered it," Amanda says. She was a first semester freshman when she was raped in the boiler room of a frat house during a party. "There’s no way he doesn’t know what he did was wrong," Amanda says. “I was crying so hard I couldn’t even make it home. I sat on a corner and a random guy sat there with me—he was so nice—he called my roommate for me and stayed with me until she came and got me.” Amanda explains the fears that kept her from reporting her assault: She didn't want to defend

herself to people who didn’t believe her, and she felt the outcome wouldn’t be worth the pain of the process. "I knew I wasn’t in the wrong, and I didn’t want to deal with people trying to tell me I was in the wrong,” Amanda explains, stopping for a second before continuing. “I didn’t know the person [who assaulted me] at all; I knew that the case wasn’t going to go anywhere.” Amanda coped with her experience behaviorally, instead of by pressing charges. Her natural response to being assaulted was to continue hooking up with guys. “After it happened I kind of got a little bit more promiscuous,” she says. “I was of the mindset that if it was going to happen, I’d want it to happen on my own terms.” Ultimately, though, she says this coping strategy only made her feel worse. Amanda says she wishes she had access to better resources, because if that been the case she might have reacted to her assault in a healthier way. Amanda says that the community she found in Greek life is one reason that she’s been able to talk about her experience. “In my sorority, we’ve had so many girls that have gone through it. I feel like every house has that. It’s easier when you know your sisters have gone through it, too—to be able to talk about it and not feel judged about it. I haven’t felt victim-blamed at all, which is my biggest fear,” she says. That fear is so great that she says when she had to go to counseling for something unrelated, she checked off no on a form when she saw the question “Have you ever been sexually assaulted?” “I just didn't want to talk about it. I didn’t want to go through that at the time.”

BETTY Betty dealt with her experience differently. She told herself, “Okay, that happened. It’s not going to affect me, my behavior, my friendships. My body

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is unchanged.” By the middle of her sophomore year, Betty had seen and helped girls at parties who she believes were in situations where they were about to be assaulted. “It didn't traumatize me, I guess,” she says. “I almost expected it. Isn't that gross?” When it happened to her it was with a group project partner. They'd hooked up once, but Betty decided she didn’t want to again. She explained this to him, but he kept messaging her and harassing her. He finally called one night, apologized for his actions, and asked if he could come over. “I'd experienced so much of campus rape culture through Greek life at that point that, you know, I wasn't surprised that this guy turned out to be kinda rape-y,” she says. Betty says that because she was young and naïve, she didn't anticipate that her partner had wanted to see her for any reason other than to apologize. Betty says within two minutes of him arriving, he forcibly fingered her. "In that moment, I wasn't processing it, like 'oh my god, I'm being assaulted,'" she says. "My mind at the time was like, 'Okay I guess I kind of did this to myself, I let him come over, I signed him into my dorm, I'm a slut, here I am.'" Betty had gone through reporting an offense to the University before. She had been present for a violent episode in her first-year dorm, and the case, which was supposed to be completed within 60 days, was severely delayed. “There's nothing I can do about it. Who am I going to complain to? Who's the next person I complain to about the slowness of this process?” she says. “It was not a pretty process. It was slow and painful, and they dragged people into it who didn't need to be involved, and it ended up worse in the end.” So this time, Betty didn't report it. She didn't think it was worth it. “I just really never wanted to see his face again, have to think about him again, have to relive that, and I just put it behind me.”

“There's nothing I can do about it. who am I going to complain to? Who's the next person I complain to about the slowness of this process?” CARLA Carla desires a welcoming community of survivors on campus. She was raped in high school by someone she knew, and was sexually assaulted—she was “literally grabbed by the pussy”—while at an outdoor, public festival in college. Finding solace in pre-existing support systems, like family and friends, didn't work out as she expected. Carla says her best friend didn't believe her, saying her rapist “could never do that.” Carla says that a community of survivors is what the Advocacy Center was—a group of


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people to trust, not just a process of one-on-one intervention instead of holding institutions communications. At SU you see signs, she says, accountable. She says that the organization puts but you don't see people. "The worst part of it the responsibility for change on the survivor is feeling so alone. Sitting down for individual and the people around them, when it should be therapy sessions can only help so much,” she on universities. "It's on them to protect us as says. “It doesn't help that loneliness.” students. It's on them to convict students who For Carla, campus-wide events like Take Back are sexually violent to other students," Carla says. The Night and the It's On Us campaign haven't "That's their responsibility, and they're not fulfilling been a place for her to find community—she their responsibility as an institution." finds them to be impersonal. Especially because Carla wasn't surprised about the Department some fraternities and sororities have made them of Education opening a Title IX investigation into mandatory events. "It becomes a checklist item,” SU this June. She had been involved with THE she says. "It's not something the organization General Body, and has many issues with how does because they're passionate about, it just university bureaucracy perpetuates rape culture. becomes mandated." Although Carla says she “They’ve been going years reporting zero sexual respects that survivors have found the It's On assaults at this university. For years,” she says. Us initiative helpful, she disagrees with the “It's not exclusive to SU, tons of institutions do organization's overall message. it, because the institution of the university is so She says that it generalizes the experience commodified that it's become a corporation. It's of sexual assault, and champions bystander not business to say rapists go here.”

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ELIZA Eliza was assaulted the first semester of her sophomore year at a mutual friend's Halloween party. Her rapist lived at the house where the party was thrown. “I immediately started crying, screaming,” she says. “He looked so surprised, like we'd had some misunderstanding of information or miscommunication. But I'd told him I didn't want to have sex, and he kept saying okay. I thought I didn't leave room for miscommunication.”

“I didn't want them to tell me this was my fault because I was already blaming myself.” This assault brought back the trauma of when Eliza was raped at age 15 by someone nine years older than her. That first time, she never reported the experience beyond Planned Parenthood where she went to get tested. “I didn't feel justified going forward reporting this second one because he acted like it was totally cool, totally normal, like I'd just misunderstood, and he didn't seem like a bad person,” she says. Eliza says she felt ashamed, like she did something wrong, or made a stupid decision by going upstairs with him. Even though she was only a little tipsy that night and she said "no" clearly, she didn't want to be in the position of having to defend and explain herself. “I didn't want them to tell me this was my fault because I was already blaming myself,” she says. “Unless you have felt it, you cannot understand

the shame.” Eliza says she was only able to come forward with her experience because of an event at her sorority, when she realized other women had felt the same pain. “It wasn't until I saw how many other women have been through it, how many other women understood. I was so scared of being asked "what did you expect to happen?" Eliza had just gotten out of a relationship a few weeks before the assault. She wanted to confide in someone she trusted, so she turned to her ex, despite their messy breakup. He told her he thought it sounded like she wanted it to happen because she went upstairs. He asked her what she expected to happen. Eliza shakes her head and takes a shaky breath. “You know what I expected to happen? I expected to not be raped,” she says. “I expected that he understood when I told him I didn't want to have sex, and he said okay.”

All four women's stories overlap—the word-for-word identical responses, fears, and concerns were undeniable. Many of them echoed the sentiment “What did I expect?”, as if sexual assault is a given part of the college experience, along with the freshman 15 and all-nighters at Club Bird. All women felt sure nothing would come of the cases. All women felt they did not have a space to come out and speak about their experiences without being judged. And these women are not alone. They hope, that in sharing their stories, they can encourage others to seek out help and resouces like the ones listed on the following pages. Survivors can find solidarity in the knowledge that no one is alone. JM


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Surviving Together

No one wants to prepare for the worst, but when someone survives sexual assault, they often don’t know what to do after the fact. Every survivor responds to assault differently, but those who report their experience are in the clear minority. By Alex Erdekian : Illustration by Erin Reeves According to the 2016 campus climate survey, 91 percent of students at Syracuse University who were sexually assaulted chose not to report the incident, six percent filed a complaint to Title IX, Department of Public Safety, or Syracuse Police Department, and three percent reported the incident elsewhere. The campus climate survey attributed students’ reasons for not reporting to two qualitative themes: fear of the reporting process and self-blame. Syracuse University’sTitle IX Office is currently under federal investigation for mishandling a case of sexual assault. The investigation was filed on June 22 this year, but the details of the case are closed since it’s an ongoing investigation. The Office of Civil Rights is investigating SU in addition to 214 other universities nationwide.

The OCR case processing manual says they should complete its investigation within 180 days. However, in 2015 the average of days it took the OCR to investigate a case was 940 days. Whether or not students choose to report, SU has a variety of resources for survivors, each offering different services. But if the campus climate survey is accurate, 39 percent of students can’t say that they have a general understanding of SU’s policies and procedures concerning sexual and relationship violence. The outlets to report to at SU include the Title IX office, DPS, or the Counseling Center. Each resource offers different paths for survivors depending on whether one wants to make a formal or informal complaint, to press criminal charges, or to simply have confidential support.

The TITLE IX office When a student reports a sexual assault to the Title IX office, they must go through several steps to complete the process. “When it comes to reports of sexual or relationship violence, it is important to remember that the impacted individual drives the process,” says Sheila Johnson-Willis, Interim Chief and Equal Opportunity and Title IX Officer. First things first: The reporting student’s safety and academic needs are met by issuing an interim suspension

or a no contact order if necessary. Next, they make sure the reporting student understands the rights, resources, and reporting options available. Finally, the student can choose to file either a formal or informal resolution with the school. “Our goal in every situation is to respond promptly to incidents, ensure equity and fairness in all processes, while also maintaining community and campus safety.”

Contact the Title IX Coordinator: 315-443-0211.


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Informal vs. Formal resolutions If a survivor of sexual assault wants to seek relief without officially reporting the incident, filing an informal complaint is an option. Survivors are offered solutions such as schedule adjustments, a no contact order, or educational conversations with the alleged assailant. In the case of a formal complaint, a Title IX investigator collects evidence and conducts interviews, taking into account whether the accused student has a history of the alleged behavior. Both the reporting student, the complainant, and the alleged perpetrator, the respondent, have the chance to review the investigator’s report and write a response. Ultimately, there is a University Conduct Board hearing to determine the outcome

of the case. The investigator presents the findings at the hearing to a board of chosen SU faculty and staff members. Either party can attend the hearing if they want to, but neither is required to. The University Conduct Board uses the standard of preponderance of evidence to decide whether it’s most likely the Student Conduct Code was violated. The final decision hinges on the board's private vote. After the decision has been made, it goes into effect immediately.The formal complaint process isn't supposed to take more than 60 days, except in special cases, according to the 2016-2017 Sexual and Relationship Violence Resource Guide for Syracuse University Students.

Counseling Center

Department Of public Safety

When a student is goes through the complaint process, they are assigned an advocate from the Sexual and Relationship Violence Response team at the Counseling Center. Both the reporting individual and the accused individual in every case have their own advocate. Advocates are confidential, impartial supporters. They communicate the results of the case to their student and walk them through the reporting process. The counseling center also continues to work with students after their case is over, if desired.

When a student reports a sexual If a student is looking for assault to DPS, they notify a confidential, off-campus several channels: Syracuse resource, Vera House is located Police Department’s Abused at 6181 Thompson Rd. Providing Persons Unit, the Counseling counseling, therapy, and shelter Center, and the Title IX Office if options among their services, they’re not already aware. If the Vera House is a local hub for student wishes to press criminal survivors of sexual assault charges, DPS will work with SPD and domestic violence. They on the case. Even if a student also work with local colleges chooses to report through Title including SU, SUNY-ESF, OCC, IX only, DPS and SPD check and LeMoyne, and come into with that student to ensure the schools to run workshops. they don’t want to press charges, “We’re trying to convince schools and tells them that the door is to take this more seriously, and always open to do so, says DPS they definitely need to step up Associate Chief John Sardino. their game,” says 2016 SU alum and Vera House employee DPS 24/7 help line: 315-443-2224 Anthony McGriff. DPS Anonymous reporting line: 315-443-8477 Vera House 24/7 help line: 315SPD Phone number: 315-435- 468-3260 4016.

Sexual and Relationship Violence Response Team number: 315-443-4715.

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VERa House


TRUST THE PROCESS? Sam Skaller channeled her experience as a understanding of consent, she would have won. survivor of sexual assault into activism through One person isn’t to blame she says, but perhaps if her leadership of the It’s On Us campaign. the hearing board were better trained, the case’s Skaller, a senior viola performance and music result would be different, and SU students would history dual major, went through the Title IX be safer without the threat of her perpetrator's reporting process when she was a junior. Skaller is presence on campus at the time. now the Northeast Regional Advisor for It’s On Us. "He’s going to go out into the world and keep Skaller decided to file a formal complaint doing his actions because Syracuse said he didn’t about her sexual assault nine months after it do anything wrong,” Skaller says of her assailant. happened while she was studying abroad. “The frustrating part of the process is knowing that Her close friend asked to Skype with her one it doesn’t always work out. And when it doesn’t day, and confided in Skaller that she had been work out, repercussions are really hard.” sexually assaulted. By the end of the conversation, But Skaller wants victims to know that Skaller and her friend came to the realization that whatever their decision—to report or not—she they had been sexually assaulted in the same way believes them, there is a supportive community by the same person. Ultimately, Skaller realized at SU that believes them, and they are not alone. that she was number four. “It’s the shittiest club to be a part that we didn’t “I initially did not do it for me, but for all ask for, but the most supportive people,” she these other women,” Skaller says. “And then I jokes. “I could cry every day, and that’s fine, but recognized it was for me. And I’m so grateful I sometimes I just want to laugh.” JM went through the process because I learned a lot, and I feel stronger for it.” Because there was no physical evidence of her assault, and she believes the U.S. justice system doesn’t view survivor stories as valid, Skaller chose not to press charges criminally. The result of her case was decided through a University Conduct Board hearing. In the hearing, three trained, volunteer SU community members were presented evidence from the case that the investigator collected. Skaller chose not to attend her hearing, simply to preserve her peace of mind. She found out she lost her case when her advocate from the Sexual and Relationship Violence Response Team called her a few days later. Skaller believes the result of her case was a systemic downfall. She believes that if the volunteers on her hearing board had a cognitive


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The housemates enjoy drinking both Sam Adams and their home-brewed variety.

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Brew it Yourself

By Caroline Colvin : Photography by Fiona Lenz

A lot of college kids say they love beer—between shotguns of Natty, that is. A group of Syracuse University students is taking the romance to the next level by brewing their own, sans the hipster bullshit.

Four guys stand around a steaming metal pot on a gloomy October day. In SU sweats, they look like your average college students on Euclid Avenue. Sure, one’s wearing a cowboy hat and another’s wearing a spray-painted wig—leftover from a grimy, final Halloweekend on the Hill. Other than that, they’re just a group of guys making soup on a nippy day, right? On a closer look, you’ll notice that it's not beans in the pot. Instead, you'll see hops in packets near the stove, with names like “Amarillo” and “Chinook.” And that’s not bouillon in a jar, it’s malt. Seniors Jay Carmody, Eli Goldweather, Brett Garberman, and Donnie Bracker are brewing beer. They banter and take turns stirring the brown, translucent mixture. It’s been about a year since the crew came up to Ben Tupper, their landlord, with their first batch of beer. The boys struck up a conversation with him during a Tupper-sponsored event at Beer Belly Deli & Pub.

“About a year ago, the guys [on the 700 block of Euclid Avenue] came to me and said, ‘Hey, we made some beer. Here’s a six-pack,’” Tupper says. “It was a friendly gesture, basically. No plans or anything.” But it sparked an idea for Tupper, who has a history of reaching out to his tenants for assistance with creative endeavors, such as logo design and mural-painting. Tupper wanted to tap into the project that Carmody, Goldweather, Garberman, and Bracker—along with housemates Ryan Sanford, Joshua Hart, and Kyle Wade—were undertaking. Once Tupper stepped in, the operation began to take flight. However, it didn’t become a fullfledged business because you can’t sell beer in New York state without a license. But after Tupper commissioned industrial design student Talley Larkin to design labels for the beers, the brewery became more legit. Per Tupper’s request, the Euclid Avenue brewers went to work brewing a few batches of Tupper’s favorite kind of beer: IPA. JERK

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FEATURES the bottle extra tight, and let the yeast eat the priming sugar to create carbonation. Just like with cooking or baking, practice makes perfect. The guys talked about friends who had tried home brewing once to no avail and called it quits. The secret to improving is to keep at it, and for them, keeping at it has clearly paid off. Since last October, they have brewed a honey wheat ale, an American IPA, a Belgian IPA, a Belgian Tripel, and a cream ale. On that Sunday, though, they got a bit experimental adding shredded grapefruit peel and oil into the mix. Though everyone loves a good pitcher of Bud Light at DJ’s, Carmody’s taste evolved after turning 21 and going abroad. He studied in Spain for a semester, and Goldweather studied in Australia. Tupper’s beer development was a little more dramatic. As a high schooler in Syracuse, one of America’s punk capitals of the 80s, Tupper was straight-edge: he didn’t use drugs or drink.

It's been a little over a year since Carmody and his housemates approached Tupper with a batch of home-brewed beer. Given that a single batch yields 45 to 50 bottles, and the initial concoction takes a few hours to brew, the group camped out in their kitchen for about two days, stirring, mixing, pouring, and sifting in a makeshift assembly line. The homebrewing process is no walk in the park—it’s more like a marathon. You’ve got to get the correct amount of malt and hops, which are specific to each recipe. Then you bring the malt extract and the hops to a boil a number of times, making sure the temperature is just right. First, you allow the wort—liquid that can best be described as pre-beer beer—to cool off.The you place the pot in an ice-filled sink. Next, pour the wort into a bucket, seal it, and let it ferment for a week. The brewers on Euclid Ave leave it in their basement for two weeks to be “100 percent sure.” And then you’ve got to carbonate it. Industrial brewers can just inject CO2, but it's not that easy at home: You have to filter in priming sugar, cap

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“I came to the realization that life is too short for crappy beer." - Ben Tupper

Tupper only began drinking in social settings his sophomore year of college. “I kind of grew up,” Tupper says. “And I was just, for lack of a better term, a ‘garbage-drinker.’ I didn’t care. The goal was to get a buzz. The goal wasn’t to enjoy.” Then, about 10 years ago, microbrewing kicked off, and there seemed to be way more options on tap and in grocery stores. That brought on an epiphany: “I came to the realization that life is too short for crappy beer,” Tupper says. Now, referring to himself only half-jokingly as a beer snob, he says he’ll opt for water instead of booze


Beer Britannica Malt Malted barley, which comes from soaking the grain in water, starting its germination and heating it up

Hops Crushed up flowers of the hop plant, which give beer its bitter flavor—bitterness is measured in international bittering units

IPA Stands for India Pale Ale, a particularly "hoppy" beer. In the U.S., it’s brewed with American hops like Amarillo and Chinook Carmody and Goldweather refined their beer palates when they studied abroad. if a bar only has Bud Light, Coors, or Yuengling. The brewing process had a similar effect on Carmody. Brewing his own beer not only allowed him to appreciate the good stuff, but also helped him to understand what he could create himself. “You can go to a biergarten and try a thousand varieties of beer,” Carmody says. "There's no other beer that tastes exactly like this one. Because no one else took twice as long as they should to chill down the wort or left it fermenting as extra day." At its core, this is what homebrewing is all about: it’s not for profit or notoriety. Homebrewing is about beer as a science as much as it is about beer as an art. JM

Flight A line-up of four-six different beer samples, similar to a wine tasting. Usually, it’s served in small beer glasses on a wooden stand.

Beer garden An open area where people gather to drink beer and eat food, usually at shared tables. It’s derived from the German word "biergarten."


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BALL BUSTERS Skip The Nutcracker this Christmas. Jerk has reimagined the Sugar Plum Fairy, showing you that she’s much more than talent in a tutu. With sheer and mesh, you can see through tired tropes and embrace the grace—and power—within every woman. Stylists: Trusha Bhatt, Hairol Ma, Hayley Greason Photographer: Alec Erlebacher Art Direction: Sam Reimnitz Models: Angela Luo, Mona Yun

Slip: Free People $99.00 Bodysuit: Forever 21 $9.90

Left Headphones: Skinny Dip $50.00 Bralette: Out From Under $24.00 Skirt: Rare London $68.00 Inset Top: Zara $49.90 Bottoms: Zara $45.80 Choker: F21 $7.00

Left Jacket: Ivy Park $80.00 Bodysuit: Out From Under $39 Socks: Out From Under $14 Shoes: Zara $29.90 Top Right Socks: Out From Under $14 Shoes: Zara $29.90 Bottom Right Socks: Free People $12 Shoes: Puma $120

Right Headband: Zara $22.90 Necklace: Free People $30.00 Bodysuit: Zara $25.90 Jacket: Zara $99.90 Necklace: Urban Outfitters $20 Inset Bodysuit: Out From Under $49.00 Coat: Zara $69.90 Socks: Free People $12 Necklace: Urban Outfitters $20



Model: Kat Paszek Photography by Xiang Wei

There’s no denying that Yeezy and J. Bieb’s looks are hard to beat, but their Thrasher t-shirts are not just a sick design. Before you go buy the latest cop at Zumiez, Jerk is here to show you that skater culture is way more than what Vogue deemed an “off-duty model staple”.

FUCKING AWESOME « Fathered by skateboarding’s style legend Jason Dill, the clashing colors and raw themes of Fucking Awesome’s apparel and decks exemplify their downriver founder—RIP Dylan Rieder #FuckCancer. Pros to Follow: Kevin Bradley // @_kb95_, Anthony Van Engelen // @ave What to Cop: Order a fall/winter 2016 collection Fucked Forever tee to truly represent the brand. Anything with the brand name will be sure to ruffle some feathers, too.

(Dylan Painting Tee $32)

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« VANS An icon of Southern Californian footwear, the sticky-soled, rugged Vans claimed its skate boarding fame on the feet of Tony Alva and Stacy Peralta—the Lord’s of Dogtown themselves. Pros to Follow:@christianhosoi, @currencaples, @lizziearmanto What to Cop: Check out the Checkered Past collection for Vault by Vans, an ode to the authentic checkered Vans, redesigned with premium leather and funky colors.

(The Authentic $50)


PALACE Named sarcastically for founder Lev Tanju’s shitty apartment, Palace propels British style with apparel meant to make the actual skating standout. Pros to Follow: Just read their snarky lookbook in your free time. What to Cop: Palace x adidas Originals, dropped early November, collaborates the established with the up-andcoming to deliver high-quality essentials.

(Wool Strapback Cap $48)

« SUPREME / THE NORTH FACE Originating as the clubhouse for New York’s skate and artist community, Supreme’s box logo and cult followers have defined the category of hype. Their debut skate video, “cherry” starring young, local New York riders, however, take us back to Supreme’s start. Pros to Follow: Sean Pablo // @_streethassle, Supreme’s Videographer // @williamstrobeck What to Cop: Slayer x Supreme’s Fall 2016 collection offers an aggressive side to the brand, replacing clean lines with M-65 jackets and troubling images. p.s. Make sure what you cop is real.

(Steep Tech Crewneck $119)


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INTERSECTION Cody Benbow grapples with both his sexuality and religion in his poems. By Cory Fernandez : Photography by Ally Moreo

For Cody Benbow, the bus is a reliable source of inspiration. A seat by the window offers the perfect vantage point for creative ideas to not only bloom, but also be written in the notes app of his cell phone. As he looks out the window, thoughts about people passing him by strike him all at once and suddenly, the creativity behind his poetry is given a starting line. For as long as he can remember, Benbow has always loved the art of writing and interpretation. The Hawaii native is a junior English and Textual Studies major at Syracuse University and has found a passion in writing poetry, often in unexpected places. “Actually I write most of my poetry on buses, which sounds really weird,” Benbow says. “But just, like, looking out the window and seeing the world move past you, and you just like pick up little things, it inspires more for some reason, I don’t know why.” Benbow focuses much of his work on the queer and Muslim experience—something

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personal to him. While a lot of his poetry talks about the insecurities of being openly gay in modern society, the intersectionality between religion and marginalized sexual identity is what he truly aims for. Benbow says that a lot of this material originates from his religious conversion in Morocco, where he stayed the summer after graduating high school. “My poetry, I recognize that it comes from a place of privilege because I converted to Islam and I’m white and I live in the United States," Benbow says. "I do talk about being queer in Morocco because I live there every summer and it shaped me…” Before coming to SU, Benbow took a gap year to study in Morocco. He came out around this time. Benbow admits, however, that after coming out, his time abroad provided a sense of escape. “The distance from my family made me feel safe,” Benbow says, “But ironically I was also in a place where I couldn’t come out to the people around me.” In Morocco, homosexuality is


"The distance from my family made me feel safe but ironically I was also in a place where I couldn’t come out to the people around me." illegal, so Benbow recognizes that while his time Virginia Burrus, the Bishop W. Earl Ledden abroad afforded him some time away from home, professor and director of graduate studies in the place he had traveled to wasn’t exactly a safe religion at Syracuse University, believes that space. Benbow says that although his friends have a push exists for larger conversations about been supportive for the most part, he was outed the intersectionality of religion and sexuality, while in Morocco and put into an difficult position. particularly in the Islamic tradition. “There are “I’m still coming out to my friends in Morocco,” progressive Muslims who are making space for Benbow says. “It is a scary process, [because] all kinds of sexualities and creating theological you never know how someone will react.” responses that are more nuanced,” Burrus says. Benbow says that his family has been “So, I mean, I feel hopeful but I think the challenges supportive since he came out but that religion still are enormous.” plays a part in how they interact with his sexuality. Ahmed Malik, the Muslim chaplain for the “They kind of take like the silent approach like they Islamic Chaplaincy at Hendricks Chapel, says just won’t talk about it because it makes them that being openly gay does not by any means uncomfortable,” Benbow says. ”They’re older, negate someone’s Muslim identity. “So when and my dad is Mormon and my mom is Lutheran we talk about identifying with queer or LGBT, so like there’s a strong religious foundation in we’re saying that the person is still a Muslim,” my household.” Malik says. “As long as they believe in the core After he took a poetry class at SU, Benbow principles of Islam, no one can deny their being began to write both in and out of the classroom, Muslim.” and as a religion and Arabic minor, he was better Malik also pointed out that, in the Islamic able to navigate his work as a poet. “Now I’m just context, there is an authority given to a Muslim trying to pursue it as a means of expressing myself when it comes to how they live their lives, and that and my political views,” Benbow says. “Because authority exists in a relationship solely with God. I think poetry is really interesting in the way it “All these things are there for people to allow them can capture feelings and can also, like, capture to figure out what they want,” Malik says. “And a person’s perspective in a way that’s unique.” God does not force people to conform to anything.” The situation described within a portion of When it comes to being a part of a marginalized Benbow’s poetry is a reality for many. Although identity, whether in regards to sexuality, race or certain queer communities may be faced with religion, the pressure of conformity is often at the the work of reconciling the intersections of their forefront of that experience. For Benbow, poetry sexual and religious identities, some believe that is a way to illustrate how things like conformity being openly queer and religious is very much add to the struggle of living both a queer and possible. religious experience. JM

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NOISE Queer Religion Cody Benbow “With fire of love you enflamed my heart, Then the sin that we did you disowned… Until, when I had plunged into love’s sea, And all the waves my heart had covered, You revealed my secret and me, forgot... Lover, this was not fair… I was deceived! I grant I am unable to defend myself from Love, but… the Lord, have you not feared?” -Abu Nawas 1 (trans. Paul Smith) “And if You turn my hands away Then who will be merciful to me?” -The Final Poem of Abu Nawas (trans. Paul Smith)

I have looked for the deepest sorts of pain. I have heaved rocks from mountainsides to Hear them shatter in my ears in imminent Echoes of destruction. I have cut my tongue During prayer and reattached it throbbing and Upturned to mutilate my holy incantations. I have tied tradition to my ankles and dived Into the sea. I rescued myself before some god could. I have kissed lips that could have Been an angel’s trying to tell me another Prophet is dead— this time in Orlando. I have dreamt of gazelles2 grazing in Middle America, their necks arched between Barbed wire. I have prayed for Ampelos Whose blood runs through the Prophets And shrivels slowly in an abandoned vineyard. I have heard the jinn weeping for souls still Drowning in Zahra’s3 fountain. I have made A Mecca of Your heart, the inveterate eye of my Billion prayers. I have learned the 99 ways Your lips move when I kiss You. I have seen Sodom burn in the palm of my hands the night My tears flowed through my fingers and rained Softly on Your chest as You whispered, he will hate me, he will hate me, god will hate me. I have buried Your heart where the sun sets And crescent moons loom over cairns Of queer desire. I have heard imams recount

From memory the story of Lot in long poetic Breaths like Whitman or Ginsberg receiving Revelation. I have leaned into the carpet of Mosques and seen the blood of Prophets Where I once saw dervishes and lovers Dancing in the Divine, the night my faith Found itself floundering in a Florida nightclub. I have turned my eyes into weapons of mass Destruction. I have planted flowers on the Tongues of men I cannot kiss. I have told My God(dess) I will not pray until these Words no longer kill us. I have sat in Sbta Staring into some Spanish sea, an entire Continent staring back at me. The day I Watched the sun burn out between two Seas and Your eyes flickering like film reels In the rear-view mirror. The day I learned That a boy younger than me had been beaten To death down the street and the words curled Up inside me and I wrote no poetry for weeks. I have peeled up my prayer rug and Worn it like an odd, green kafan 4, crying, Allah forgive me into the palm of my left hand. I have looked for the deepest sort of pain And placed my soul within it. I have said Bismillah5 and built my queer religion. This poem is my response to the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando that occurred earlier this year. As a queer Muslim, I felt my identity and my soul torn into two pieces. This is my attempt to reconcile that tension while crafting a new Islamic poetry that casts the male, queer gaze at the face of the Divine itself. 8th century queer Muslim poet who often mixed homoeroticism and religiosity and used the pronoun You to refer to both Allah and his lovers. 2 In Abu Nawas’ poetry, the gazelle is a symbol of male beauty and the Divine 3 Fountain from Arabian mythology where it was believed humans could change their physical sex 4 Muslim burial shroud 5 In the name of Allah; spoken before prayer, eating, beginning a poem or religious verse, etc.


To read more of Benbow's poertry, go to JERK

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"I'M WITH THE BAND" There's something universally awesome and awful about going to a concert. Whether you're in the basement of some house on Redfield, stuck in a crowd of screaming girls on the floor level of the Carrier Dome, or just rockin' out by yourself, there are some universal truths that all concertgoers know. As for us? We're with the band.

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10 Rules for Not Being a Dick at concerts :

Face it in a room full of sweaty people listening to an equally sweaty musician there are usually a few assholes. Here are some tips to not be one of them.


For the love of God, if you’re tall, do not stand in the front. You can see from literally anywhere—so don’t stand directly in front of the shortest girl at the bar. Not cool, dude.


3 4 Sloppy drunk isn’t cute. Don’t spill your beer on other patrons, puke on the bathroom floor, or stumble-dance into the nearest moving human. Drink responsibly, you aren’t a freshman.

Filming the entire concert on your iPhone is rude af. Most people would actually like to see the show, not the LuMww Light phone case you ordered via Amazon Prime.

Speaking of dancing, moshing at a non-punk show is a good way to spill drinks and break people’s noses. Just because you can wield your elbows like weapons doesn’t mean you should.

5 6 7 8 9 10 Don’t sing over the musician. We get it: you want to be the next American Idol. But people payed to hear the band, not your off-key warbling.

Pushing to the very front when you showed up 20 minutes late is a good way to lose friends and make people hate you. Don’t just drunkenly attempt to fight your way in.

Personal hygiene is a requirement, not a suggestion. If you plan on standing in a pit of people, please shower beforehand and wear deodorant.

Do not talk through the whole set. If you want to discuss your favorite flavor of Svedka or who won the game last night, do it away from the people who are performing.

Please, don’t ignore the opener. We get that they’re not the headliner. Still, being a musician isn’t easy and you talking through their whole set doesn't make it easier.

You aren’t the only one who loves the band. Don’t pretend that somehow you’re better than anyone in the venue because you listened to them before they were cool.


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Whether you’re a side shuffler, an arm waver, or a fist pumper, how you dance says a lot about you. Jerk breaks down what your particular style says about you.

The HEAD BOB Dude, you’re not even trying. Who are you nodding at? Whose approval are you searching for? At least attempt to dance like nobody’s watching, and stop trying to shake your head off your body.

The GRIND Like a middle schooler who doesn't understand the meaning of personal space, you too, desire to become one with another human being in the most public place possible. Next time, yell "Fusion Ha!" before attempting, and you could achieve that dream.

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THE ARM WAVE The hippy-dippy version of the fist pump, this move implies a Paula Abdul commitment to the stage. You may end up whacking your neighbor in the face, but it’s all in the name of dance.

THE SIDE SHUFFLE You sorta know how to dance? You think it probably starts with your feet, and man can you move those feet! Side to side, backwards and forwards. You may not have this, but you've sure got something.

THE MOSH You’re a real man’s man with more elbows than you know what to do with. You enjoy grinding—your knees into someone else’s spine. And hey, if you chip a few teeth, it’s all in the name of the game. Which is pain. The name of the game is pain.


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We here at Jerk have survived all concerts horrors: bad weather, sweaty people, and everything in-between. Here are our best and worst! concert stories. I held Kid Cudi’s hand for a minute while he sang "Man On The Moon." It was small and clammy. -Trusha When I was in high school I went to rave with three of my guy friends. When I went to the bathroom I met this girl who was candy flipping, aka took Molly and acid, and was so fucked up she couldn’t speak. But from what I gathered, her shitty friend had left her behind at the venue while she went home with some random guy. I couldn’t leave this poor girl alone, so I introduced her to my friends and took care of her for the rest of the night. At the end of the show, she wanted to drive home but was way too fucked up, so my boyfriend and I invited her back to our place. She slept on his couch, and the next morning we nursed her back to life and reconnected her with her friends—but not before getting her number. We started going to shows together, and to this day she is my best friend. Strangest "meet cute." But hey, I don’t hate it. -Jordana

Trying to get through crowds of people is truly an asshole artform that I completely partake in. However, at a concert I was stopped by a group of whiny sorority girls who were trying to pull their friends in. I jokingly said, “But you said I could come through.” I was met with, “Oh my god, you’re so annoying. I never said that.” I continued until a “I will literally punch you in the face” came from the smallest girl. I said, “Do it.” She did it. It didn’t hurt. Turns out she is the girlfriend of a friend of mine, so I naturally added her on LinkedIn. -Aidan My freshmen year of high school I went to aTaylor Swift concert on a whim. One thing led to another, and Taylor Swift came into the crowd and sang "Hey Stephen" less than a foot from me. After she finished, I made her hug me. Her back was bony. Although it was a sub-par embrace, I don't think any hug will compare. -Susie

One Time at Spacecamp Evan Pacheco and Mike Suchmann of SpaceCamp, a popular campus venue, share their stories facing the crowd at the back door of their Ackerman Avenue home. Mike Suchmann: "We had told [the people who live upstairs] ahead that we're doing shows in the basement and we're like, 'Of course you can come down for free. You live here, too.' But I think they took that as all their friends can come for free, too. This huge group of people came to the door and I was like '$3-5' and they told me they thought they were coming in for free." Evan Pacheco: "One of the kids from downstairs came by and said, 'Oh, they're with me.' Sorry dude, it doesn't work like that. We're charging our friends, too. You told us we could use the basement; we want this to be a professional thing. At the end of the day, we just want to get the bands paid and have enough money to keep the house together."

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What's MY STAGE AGAIN? Wondering where to go when you're in the mood for some music that's not "Animals" blaring from a jungle-juice-soaked speaker? Jerk has you covered.

SPARK CoNTEMPoRARY ART SPACE The Vibe: Run by a collective of art students, the space has and informal and DIY feel. Any and everything can pop up in this space so long as rent is covered for the night and the shit that breaks is fixed. The Music: Feminist punk, Heavy metal, local underground scene. Exactly what you'd think art students would put on. What’s Next: There's always some weird art show going on Come Here: to seem cool and cultured ,but actually become cool and cultured in the process.

SpaceCamp The Vibe: Head to SpaceCamp for the dirty, grungy basement shows of your coed fantasies. The Music: Indie-meets-alternative bands, including some of Jerk's favorites like Minnoe and Petite League What’s Next: There are shows here every weekend. Plus, they have recorded live sessions with the bands that have already come through—expect those to drop next semester. Come Here: if you like moshing in basement filled with roughly 200 people or if you don’t like moshing, drinking cheap beer and jamming out as close as you can get to real musicians without getting sued.

THE vAULT The Vibe: A refurbished bank vault, owner Justin Pellingra calls The Vault “a surrealist, creative space,” where he experiments with anything from staging art shows, to concerts, to acting as a temporary film studio. The Music: Underground. Experimental. Eclectic. This might be the only place find Hardcore, indie rock, and a hip hop show all in the same month. What’s Next: he Vault is hosting it’s acts through other venues in the city with the Vault On Tour, as well making plans on converting businesses into Come Here: if your music collections looks like Frankenstein’s Genre. If it’s got a beat and it’s good you’ve heard. Expect the Vault to satisfy all your weird, obscure music interests.


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:L 6 0 IA


MI USIC AR M T YE BES Why are all the best throwbacks from 2006?! By Madeleine Fournier : Illustration by Tori Thomas The year 2006 was, at a cursory glance, a simpler time. Filled with trends like Heelys, iPod Nanos, terrible capri pants and Crocs ensembles, and your first pimple, it wasn’t only the awkward middle school years you deeply regret, but also the turning point in how we consume music. With Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” topping the charts and James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” following not long after, these songs were the perfect anthems for unrequited, prepubescent love and the beginning of Apple’s reign. After a decade, it’s easy to reminisce about the music of that time, especially when the artists are still around—albeit in different forms—today. Some of the most popular musicians, like Rihanna, Kanye West, and Beyonce, were chart toppers then, and keep their audiences captivated 10 years later. Songs like “SOS,” “Gold Digger,” and “Check on It” are ingrained in our cultural consciousness now. It was the beginning of the break-down between genres with Mary J. Blige crossover smash “Be Without You.” Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus dropped their albums on the same day. As the golden age of pop, 2006 ushered in freedom like we had never experienced. The internet was a treasure trove of musical discovery. By that time Apple sold 88 million iPods, and

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practically everyone had one. It was the year they released the colored Nano—which meant the fiercest debate between blue and green, like, ever. iTunes sold its 1 billionth song, and the iPhone would be released next year to further cement the cultural dominance of all things Apple. It was also the rise of alternative rock's break in to the main-stream scene. Groups like My Chemical Romance, The Killers, and Panic! At the Disco—with the exclamation mark , thank you very much—all had chart-topping hits that year. Though each band has either evolved or completely disbanded, they still have managed to evoke powerful emotions with die-hard and casual fans alike, although you might still cringe at pictures of your skinny-jeaned, emo-haired self. Although it’s been a decade, 2006 was the turning point in how music consumed today. While you definitely don’t have your electric blue Nano or LimeWire downloaded to your regular, white MacBook anymore, you still have the freedom to listen to all those 2006 hits through your Spotify or Apple Music subscription. Even though Shakira hasn’t been relevant since we played with Bratz dolls, she and other artists from that time still reverberate in our ears and hearts. After all, they’re just a simple click away. JM

Anne Hathaway


By Caroline Cakebread : Illustration by Alena Sceusa

THE DEAL: Anne Hathaway has consistently graced the big screen since her debut mattress surfing at the sickest sleepover ever in The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagment. She grew up to be Meryl Streep’s hype assistant in The Devil Wears Prada and then got serious in Brokeback Mountain before winning an Oscar in 2013 for her performance as Fantine in Les Miserables. Even a Ponzi-scheming boyfriend couldn’t bring her down—she full-mouth smiled her way through the ordeal and hosted Saturday Night Live in 2012, proving to America she was still her sweet-but-kind-of-a-suck-up self. But the hate has only increased since announcing her role in the all-female Ocean’s 11 spinoff, Ocean’s 8.

THE ISSUE: Despite her notable career and lack of Page Six blunders, Hathaway has amassed a following of self-named “Hathahaters.” The group does not have a specific reason to dislike her—they just do. A BuzzFeed article on the topic cites “her face,” and that her Cat Woman ruined The Dark Knight Rises, among other well-thought- out qualms. They hate absolutely everything she does, from her stint hosting the Oscars alongside James Franco to the smile they deem too “fake." Hathaway reminds her critics of that annoying theater girl in high school who didn’t party, actually enjoyed schoolsponsored activities, and cried when she got the lead in the school play even though there was no question that she would. People just want her and her overly optimistic personality to fuck off so that they can continue moping through life.

THE BIGGER ISSUE: Hathaway’s perfect record and flawless face have become the metaphoric punching bag for the disenfranchised women and disgruntled men of the world. The constant, negative conversation over her every move is cyberbullying at its finest, and hating her has become a group activity that people take pleasure in being a part of. “At a certain point, something like what has happened to Ms. Hathaway acquired momentum, and people were willing and eager to be part of that momentum,” P.M. Forni of John Hopkins University’s Civility Initiative told the New York Times. She is an A-list actress and new mother in Hollywood, and yet her haters see a picture of her looking too happy and hop back onto the hater train. THE DEFENSE: She is talented as fuck, and has a small golden man who will tell you the same. People seem to hate her for her ambition and achievements, but they might as well be screaming into their blogosphere echo chamber that they hate her for being a successful woman. Hathaway is also one of the few actresses who can flawlessly glide between cringe-worthy movies like Get Smart—a girl's gotta work—and serious work like Rachel Getting Married. Although she was miserable at the Oscars and felt like she had to fake her joy, but she bounced back yet again in 2014, saying “This whole thing has made me a way more compassionate and loving person.” What an angel. JM


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AHNEST! Members: Nicholas Burger, who is known to collaborate with Tim Hall and Rob Button among others | Active since: 2010 | Sounds like: Teen angst | What they Jerk to: Janis Joplin, The Who, Blood Sweat And Tears, Creedence Clearwater Revival By Christina M. Borza : Photography by Frona Lenz

Jerk Magazine: How would you describe your shows, both visually and musically? What type of audience do you usually bring in? Nicholas Burger: Sonically, an Ahnest! show is always an experience. You can never be quite sure what you’re going to get. Depending on who my accompaniment, or lack thereof, might be on any given show can really change the dynamic. Visually, you’re getting a guy who feels every word of his songs as strongly and powerfully as he’ll be singing them. I want an audience to feel as broken down as I am at my lows and as built up as I am at my highs. The most common audience at an Ahnest! show could be classified as a young bar crowd, but it has never been contained to that. There have been countless shows for an even more countless array of show-goers.

released. I’ve been working on a few alternate versions of older songs that I would love to see re-released in their new forms. I am always writing. I am always trying to push my own boundaries as a musician. I have been working closely with a few other friends that I have yet to collaborate with, and I am excited to start recording and releasing some of these new ideas.

JM: What are you currently working on now? NB: My music is evolving and being pushed through new voicing and instrumentation. Sometimes I will re-write and re-structure a song that I have already

JM: What are your inspirations? NB: I am inspired by anybody who is creating something and by anyone who is constantly trying to push the envelope to do something new. JM

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JM: What are your major influences as a band and as individual artists? NB: Unapologetic honesty has always been what Ahnest! is all about. Stripped down day-to-day ins and outs of what makes us human and the entanglement of struggling to stay young, while simultaneously growing up. Really, anything can influence me to want to create art.


FORBIDDEN FRUIT There's nothing like secrets, lies, Daddy’s disapproval, and clandestine sex in a bathroom stall. Forbidden love can be difficult—especially if you don’t stretch regularly. So your love story may not be Romeo and Juliet, but Jerk is here to provide you with all the dangerous liaisons to vicariously experience love on the down low without straining your hammy.

MOVIE: Why Him? We've all had that one significant other our parents expressed their disdain for afterwards, openly disliked, or interrogated with a shotgun across their lap. It's just one of those things. Bryan Cranston finds himself in the same situation when he clashes with his daughter’s raunchy, tech-billionaire fiancé, played by James Franco— because who the fuck else would it be? Catch it on Dec. 23, but leave your dad at home.

ALBUM: Blue and Lonesome by The Rolling Stones

What do you need to wallow in the aftermath of your fiery hot, flash-in-the-pan affair that ultimately ended in breaking at least one heart, wedding vows, and some fine china? An industrial tub of ice cream? Maybe. Some sweet sorrowful blues? Definitely. Dropping on Dec. 2, Blue and Lonesome has enough pain and soul to leave you longing for your, lost star-crossed lover—even if you've never had one.

BOOK: Misconduct by Penelope Douglas Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: A young, disgraced former tennis star picks up a teaching job, has a steamy affair with the much-older father of one of her students—and he’s still married! This will probably be a shitty TV movie on Lifetime in a few years, and it probably has 30 synonyms for "dick," ss the protagonists of terrible romance novels get all the guilty pleasure. Pick it up on shelves Dec. 1, just don't let anybody see you.

TV: Hairspray Live Hairspray's debut in 1988 sought to erase taboos around integrated mixed race relationships and kicking ass on the dance floor at any size. What it can’t erase is the image of John Travolta in drag from the 2007 remake. As we approach the Trump presidency, we can totally dig busting down societal normas—and another opporutnity to mock some crazy hair. Catch this live television performance on Dec. 7. JM


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GO GREEK! Geddes Bakery has made a name for itself, in North Syracuse, with its Greek-style baked goods. By Rashika Jaipuriar : Photography by Ally Moreo

Big Fat Greek Wedding? For the Pappas family, it’s more like big fat Greek bakery. Their business, Geddes Bakery, is gearing up for the holiday season, and behind each cannoli, chocolate truffle, and Greek Easter bread is a unique family background. In 1951, John Pappas immigrated to the U.S. from Greece, and opened Geddes Bakery, named after the town of its original location, in 1957. Today, his grandchildren continue to serve

customers in Syracuse and neighboring cities like Central Square, Jamesville, and Skaneateles. John’s grandson Pete Pappas now runs the bakery with his siblings, Michelle and John. Pappas says they still use many of the same staple recipes from when their grandfather first opened Geddes Bakery, all of which are kept in a top secret black book. And because of that history, Pappas gets to practice his passion for baking. "I do enjoy baking,” Pappas says. "I really, truly

A sampling of Geddes Bakery's showcase displays Greek and American pastries alike—from baklava to blueberry pie.

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The mural splashed across the wall of Geddes Bakery alludes to its history.

enjoy baking. And I love the people I work with.” While Geddes Bakery has been a huge part of his family history, Pappas doesn’t think it’ll be passed down to the kids in the next generation. He has two teenage daughters who love watching shows like Cake Boss and Chopped, appropriate for kids who grew up around baking. "Once we leave, this’ll probably be it,” Pappas says. "We’ll probably be the last generation here. None of the kids want to take over, nor do any of us want to give it to our kids just because we know every couple of years, it gets harder between taxes and finding help and everything. It’s very stressful, and I would not wish that upon my kids.”

Being a business owner, he said, doesn’t permit time off—he’s on call 24/7, even on vacation. And while that can create a tense atmosphere with family members, especially during the holiday season, Pappas says it makes the business stronger. “People make a lot of assumptions [about Greek culture] that you have these big, extravagant families, which we used to a long time ago,” Pappas says. “But I would say that the family bond is strong. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t be in this business. Family backs you up 100 percent in this business. That’s why the bakery is successful because of how we work together. Even though we argue, don’t get me wrong, I would say we have each other’s backs.” JM


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Under The Spotlight By Saniya More : Photograph Courtsey of Briana Maia Meet Briana Maia, a 25-year-old theater actor taking the New York City stage by storm with her roles in Fathers and Sons and Much Ado About Love. Maia performed in Syracuse this October, belting out Broadway classics in her one-woman cabaret show, Evolution. Jerk caught up with Maia to talk theater.

Jerk Magazine: Are you the kind of actor who needs to cool down after a week of shows? Briana Maia: I am definitely a hustler by nature, so I have to force myself to cool down. Being in Syracuse is usually my cool-down time. To be honest, when I’m here in the city, working two jobs and auditioning, that’s the grind. Then when I finally book something, that’s the reward and vacation. JM: You recently performed here in Syracuse. Could you tell us a little more about your cabaret? BM: On Oct. 21-22, I did a one-woman cabaret called Evolution. I sang a number of songs from musical theatre and Broadway shows that captured a woman’s journey through finding herself, finding love, heartbreak, self-love, and more. JM: Is there a certain medium of performance that you’re most comfortable in? BM: Shakespeare is where I’m most comfortable. I went to University of Connecticut for acting, and most of my training was based in classical theatre. JM: What’s your favorite play by Shakespeare? BM: I think it would have to be either The Tempest or Titus Andronicus.

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JM: What are your thoughts on female actors demanding equal pay in the acting industry? BM: I was doing a show in the city, and they were paying my male counterpart under the table and holding my money from me. People really know how to take advantage of us because we don’t have anybody to protect us.This is something that needs to be dealt with. JM: What are your greatest strengths as an actress? BM: Acting is really about reacting and what you give to the other person. I think I’m a really good listener on stage and as a person. JM: What’s your most embarrassing moment on stage? BM: Oh man. I was in a show called Big Love, where, within the first five minutes of the show, I had to get completely butt-naked on stage. I was the lead in the show. I never left the stage, and so I couldn’t even leave to get dressed. One of my cast mates who played my sister had to come and dress me on stage infront of the audience. My costume was a leotard, and one night it was set inside out, so I wore my costume inside out for the whole show. JM


Marshall Street

Cause of Death: GrubHub By Kelsey Thompson : Illustration Kay Thomas After countless late nights spent giggling with “Fuck this shit,” ringing in our ears for generations. friends over mounds of froyo, eating half your Gone were the days of shrugging on a coat body weight in Bruegger’s Bagels, and binging on and toddling down to Marshall Street with the cheesy calzones, your cholesterol levels have shot willpower only his cheese fries could inspire. through the roof. However, when shops like M Instead, GrubHub became the Beyoncé of food Street Pizza, Sliders, and Yogurtland flipped over delivery services. With her confident attitude and their CLOSED signs for good, Marshall Street, the adventurous demeanor, she changed the taste man we all once knew and loved, was no more. buds of the SU population to crave culturally Marshall Street was your Freshman 15 BFF, his diverse flavors from restaurants like Otro Cinco love and sweet, sweet relief in the form of gooey and Bamboo House, no matter the delivery fee. Insomnia Cookies and Calios’ fatty, delicious She always came to you in the ‘sweatpants, hairpepperoni and sausage with a side of calzone. tied, chillin’ with no makeup on’ early morning He greeted you with open arms after nights hours, and unveiled before you the key to your spent sloshing around DJ’s when you emerged happiness: boneless wings. And a shit ton of ‘em. reeking of stale alcohol and regret, he provided Late one night, while Marshall Street was you with a warm embrace of cookies and pizza as lifeless as the souls of college students circa and milkshakes, oh my. Marshall Street was the week eight of the semester, GrubHub came flying one encouraging you to get off your ass and walk through in her lavish delivery car and crashed down the block to stuff yourself with copious into his street sign, knocking his barely-flickering amounts of fried food and a side of lost dignity. lights out one final time for good measure. And Then, GrubHub came along and changed that, kids, is why you tip your delivery drivers. everything you thought you knew about Marshall Street is survived by not one, but overindulgence. She knew the key to your heart’s two Indian restaurants, his wannabe-Mexican deepest desires resided in the palm of your hand, son, Chipotle, his basic bitch niece, Starbucks, literally. With the click of a button in between and his forever under 21 nephew, DJ’s. As we binge-watching Netflix on the couch, she allowed once ventured down into the midnight depths you to have your cookie cake and eat it too. With of Marshall Street, so too will we travel down his suave new rival making gains, Marshall Street GrubHub’s rabbit hole in search of her “Eat Me” quickly began to worry about his fate. Weeks and “Drink Me” recommendations. Farewell, after her arrival, an avalanche-sized snowstorm Marshall Street—your slightly fatter and former bombarded the SU campus and forced Marshall BFFs salute you one final time from the treadmill Street to succumb to the bitter cold, his final words, in the Marshall Square Mall gym. JM


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Cuddle Puddle Everyone needs a cuddle buddy this cuffing season. Photos by Flora Chen

“I used to be obsessed with “I have a Beanie Baby collection Ugly Dolls, so people would because pretty much since I always give them to me as was born, my mom has gotten gifts. I definitely thought they me them for all kinds of special were cool because I was in my occasions, and the collection rebellious, teen angst phase has just grown since then. and wanted to be different than Between my brother and I, we just collecting regular stuffed have roughly 400 at this point. animals. Honestly, I have this My favorite one is the dragon I one at school right now because got for Christmas because the it looks good with the rest of my material is really different and pillows.” has this extra soft kind of fur.”


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“My friend broke up with her boyfriend and purged her life of all things that involved him. Instead of throwing him away, she thought I would like his company. When she gave him to me, he was holding a heart that was hanging on by a thread and had a huge coffee stain on it—very symbolic of her ending relationship. So we took a pair of scissors to the beaten up heart. To be honest, it felt kinda sadistic to do to a stuffed animal.”



FORM & FUNCTION How to dress like Daddy got you exactly what you wanted

iPhone 7: "Just found out in my PC group chat that I'm spit sisters with a sophomore. UGH."

Dior sunglasses: “My corneas hurt like a betch pretty much year-round. Snow is, like, super reflective."

Cartier Love bracelet: "Daddy promised I'll get the diamond version once I find a NJB."

Canada Goose: "Someone took my Moncler at AEPi last month. This is, like, the fracket.

Model: Rachel Maglio Stylist: Hairol Ma Photographer: Xiang Wei

Golden Goose sneakers: “Like Converse, but $500."


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Every Cinco de deNacho Nacho EveryMonday Monday night… night…Cinco

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