How to Deal with OCD Related Intimacy Issues

HOW TO DEAL WITH OCD-RELATED INTIMACY ISSUES _______________

How OCD can Hinder Relationships and How You Can Cope

AN INTRODUCTION TO OCD • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a personality disorder in which patients exhibit obsessive thoughts that cause extreme distress or anxiety, as well as the compulsion to perform rituals or tasks in order to keep this anxiety at bay. • While there are many different forms of OCD, many of those diagnosed with the condition feel dissatisfied with their relationships and sex lives, and the disorder is the catalyst.

COMMON SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS ASSOCIATED WITH OCD Those with OCD often complain they experience one or more of the following symptoms when it comes to their sex life and intimacy in relationships: • Difficulty becoming aroused • Feeling disconnected from their partner • A low or non-existent sex drive • A fear of intimacy or having sex • Obsessive thoughts about sexual topics and activities

COMMON SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS ASSOCIATED WITH OCD • There are many forms of obsessive thoughts that can occur within a person diagnosed with OCD. Some people with the disorder find the idea of sex disgusting because they see it as physically contaminating and a way to spread germs and other substances that they would find disgusting • Other forms of OCD focus more on obsessive thoughts with sex in the context of religious sin or sexual violence. Those who obsess about piety or harm can often feel disgusted by sex and the anxiety these thoughts cause turns them off completely.

SIDE EFFECTS VS. SYMPTOMS • Some anti-sex thoughts and feelings come about because of drug side effects. If someone with OCD is on a medication for their disorder, or the anxiety or depression that often comes comorbid with OCD, the low sex drive and undesirability may be a cause of these medications. _______________________________ • It’s always important to consult with a physician about potential side effects of drugs being taken and to ask for help figuring out whether the problem is a true symptom of the disorder OR a medication side effect that can potentially be easily corrected.

HOW TO START COPING

• If you are someone with OCD, never fear. •

While the process will be difficult and requires hard work, it is possible to start coping with these feelings in order to have healthy, typical relationships with others.

GETTING TREATMENT • First, get the treatment you need to begin managing your OCD. If you have gone untreated for your disorder, the time to change that is now. Without the help of mental health professionals, the journey to managing your OCD will be arduous. It’s also never advised to self-diagnose or act as your own mental health professional.

• Mental health professionals can help manage OCD through therapy methods and pharmaceuticals.

MENTION YOUR HANGUPS • It’s imperative that you discuss your sexual dysfunctions with your health care provider. It may be embarrassing or shameful to you to consider discussing these problems with others but remember: if you don’t talk about them, they’ll never get better.

• Again, a mental health professional can help you figure out the true cause of your sexual disgust or anxiety. Is it a problem with your OCD, a medication you’re taking, or another health issue?

• Your mental health provider can help figure this all out.

ALWAYS COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER • It’s also important to keep your partner up to date on where you are in your treatment and how you feel about relationships and sex. ________________ • A serious partner is someone you can lean on and discuss anything with in an open and safe environment. The conversation may be hard, but it’s always one worth having.

ALWAYS COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER • Not communicating with your partner means that they may misunderstand and misinterpret your feelings. While you may just feel turned off by sex because of OCD anxiety, a partner may internalize this reaction as something they have done wrong.

• Talking with a partner is how you reassure each other that this is something you can work on. Understand that it’s not the true fault of either of you, and that mental illness is something that can be treated in order to make a healthy relationship whole again.

TEST YOUR COMFORT ZONE • While you should never feel like you need to perform relationship duties or sexual acts that you don’t want to or that make you feel uncomfortable, it’s also imperative you find where your boundaries are. Are you only anxious about certain types of intimacy? Can you have sex in certain conditions?

• Exploring these variables (at the advice of a mental health professional) can help you determine the true and underlying cause of the dysfunction.

FINDING A SUPPORT GROUP • Ask your health care provider or research online local support groups for people with OCD. These groups can be a safe place to talk about intimacy and sex while having OCD, as well as discussing the experiences of others like you in order to learn and grow. • Bring your partner as well, if you are allowed. To be safe, attend a few meetings on your own and see what the atmosphere is like. If no one else has brought in their partner, ask a few group members if they would be comfortable with this and go from there.