THEFACE MAY 2022 | ISSUE NO. 5
EXCLUSIVE!
75 YEARS OF MARRIAGE A milestone called diamond. Read the secret to a longlasting and happy married life | 3
DATING? A necessary passage of marriage you need to know!
Christian Marriage Church's teachings on the remote, proximate, & immediate preparation
THE FACE:
Reality of Marriage EDITOR'S NOTE The
Face
is
an
educational
e-magazine
that features the reality of different people who
answered
the
call
of
God
and
responded to one's vocation of love and communion through the wonderful world of marriage. In the creation of this work, the authors story
made
of
it
their
real-life
goal
to
couples
share
who
the
stayed
together amidst all challenges in life and remained true to their mission and promise to
uphold
God's
gift
of
love
and
communion.
With
all
ongoing Face
the
uncertainty
vigilance
sought
to
is
surrounding
essential,
deliver
and
information
us, The that
goes beyond borders for the people who seek the truth. Having the hope that this magazine can be a source of strength and a
space
human
that
promotes
person,
and
the
value
ultimately
of
the
about
the
goodness of life, we will continue to help bring
the
discovery
of
vital
information
within the reach of the public —especially the youth.
CONTENT 2|
Editor's Note
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Couple of the Month
4|
Remote Preparation
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Proximate Preparation
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Immediate Preparation
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COUPLE OF THE MONTH
Face of Marriage
Love is the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being, and marriage is a gift that embodies the love between two people who become one.
Sammy and Macie Waller of Lancaster, New York have been married for 75 years. In
an
interview
from
ABC
News, Macie Waller, 93 years old, reminisced her love story with his husband, Sammy, that began
since
they
were
teenagers as they lived on the same street in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Sammy explained that he had borrowed a bike from Macie's cousin, and when When asked what was the Meanwhile, Sammy said he returned it, he spotted secret to their long-lasting that they "do not do a lot of Macie. "I fell in love with her, marriage, Macie said that arguing," and would "try to he she "don’t really know if get along most of the time." gushed. The two became one there’s any secrets," and that As a result they always "got on Dec. 31, 1942, and now have they just "respect each other along pretty good, and actually,
at
first
sight,"
six children, 11 grandchildren and love each other. We are best friends." and 19 great-grandchildren.
We do things together," he added.
If there was one thing you wish you knew before marriage, what would it be? Macie: "If there was one thing I wish I knew, it would be to understand the sincerity of marriage. It's important to remember the vows you said when you got married, and go back to them. This is the person that you said you loved. I didn't realize that as much when I got married, but through the years that can help carry you through."
What’s your advice to younger couples, married or not? "Think about the vows that they've made. And don't get angry or upset about something and say, 'I don't want to be in this,' because that's not what you promised. And always give respect to each other."
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REMOTE PREPARATION METAPHYSICAL ANALYSIS OF LOVE
01 LOVE AS AN ATTRACTION 02 LOVE AS A DESIRE 03 LOVE AS A GOODWILL 04 THE PROBLEM OF RECIPROCITY 05 FROM SYMPATHY TO FRIENDSHIP 06 BETROTHED LOVE
EDUCATION IN CHASTITY 01 CHASTITY AS A VIRTUE St. Pope John Paul II pointed out that – if we live according to the truth of our sexuality, we fulfill the very meaning of our being and existence. The opposite is also true. If we do not live according to the truth of our sexuality, we miss the meaning of our existence together. We forfeit true joy, true happiness. Sexuality as stated in the Catechism of the Catholic Church “affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his/her body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way of the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others. (CCC, 2332) The human body includes right from the beginning the capacity of expressing love, that love in which the person becomes a gift – and by means of this gift – fulfills the meaning of his being and existence.
Chastity is the virtue that calls us to use our sexuality in a reasonable, responsible, and faithful manner
02 CHASTITY IN ALL STATUS OF LIFE Every person, whether married or single, is called to live a chaste life
03 CHASTITY AS A CALLING Purity allows us to bear witness to true love: for others and for ourselves as Jesus has taught. It also help us to look at the human body, in the every essence of it as the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19)
HUMAN SEXUALITY
Sexuality is relevant as we respond to our vocation of love and communion
MYSTERY OF LOVE
Love is the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being
PROXIMATE
PREPARATION According to Gary Chapman,
Courtship
"most couple separate because of lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as partners in an intimate relationship."
- an act of seeking to gain love or affection with a view toward marriage
Exploration To enter this phase is to acknowledge that marriage is a possibility but not a promise. The basic purpose of this phase is to allow the couple to explore and discover their own emotions that of simple friendship.
Confirmation The couple learns lessons of give and take, overcoming frustrations, and handling jealousies, insecurities, misunderstandings, tenderness and exaltation of the other.
Pledging
Dating, courtship, and engagement are also necessary passages of marriage between the couples to see and exercise due diligence the proper and acceptable progression of love before transcending it into a lifetime relationship.
The image of marriage is exchange for the reality wherein, there is absolute solidarity of thinking and feelings toward each other. When the courtship has been successful, a proposal is viable for the man to make towards the woman.
ENGAGEMENT
FOUR BASIC POINTS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN DATING
Paul E. Cantrell suggests similar good reasons and value of an engagement period:
It is a time to begin serious planning of their lives together. It is a final testing time before the couple is actually married. It is a time to more seriously learn to get along with each other. It is a time to see one another more as they really are. It is a time to get better acquainted with family and friends. It is important to realize that caution is necessary so as not to cause shame or regret. It is also a time, if one or both realize it is a mistake, it can be called off.
Know your intentions
Dating is a time to see what qualities you seek in others. Do not limit yourself to a certain type as you will discover new and valuable aspects of each person.
Stick to your boundaries Communication is an important factor in any relationship but especially in a dating one. Be honest with your intentions and set boundaries for yourself. Practice chastity.
Have fun Dating is fun if you enter into it with the mentality of enjoying the present moment. Do not rush into anything serious and enjoy your time getting to know someone.
Trust in God while Dating Trust God that He will guide you in exploring your relationships as this is an opportunity given by Him to allow you to have experiences that you will learn from.
According to the Holy Church
Remember that the the engagement period is a testing period! You are not married! If after sufficient time elapses, one or both feel it is a mistake – there is no shame in calling off the wedding plans.
"While the Church may not have an explicit teaching on dating, it has riches beyond belief about human relationships, especially romantic ones. Formulating a Catholic proposal about dating requires us to take the Church's two thousand years of reflection and experience and apply it to our current context. If we do so, we can arrive not at the Catholic understanding of dating butat an understanding of dating that is both compatible with and nourishes our Catholic faith."
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MARRIAGE IS FOR THE FAMILY AND FAMILY IS FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD THE FACE 2022
REQUISITES
ESSENTIAL
Must be at least 18 years of age, male and female, and not under any impediment to marry. If between 18-21, present written consent from father, mother, or legal guardian. If between 21-25, present written parental advice. Consent in the presence of the solemnizing officer.
FORMAL
Marriage Ceremony A Valid Marriage License Authority of Solemnizing Officer
TRIPOD of marriage validity LEGAL CAPACITY
freedom from any and all matrimonial diriment impediments
natural capacity to elicit consent
SIMULATION OR EXCLUSION exclusion of marriage itself
IGNORANCE lack of knowledge
ERROR false judgement
FRAUD
deception
CONDITION exclusion of marriage itself
FORCE OR FEAR
pressure and trepidation
PROXY MARRIAGE
Valid only when:
- appointed by the party concerned.
CONSENT DELIBERATE - special mandate acc. to Civil Law
MUTUAL
C O M PR O C R E A T I O N A minister N ordained official witness I O lay official church witness N S H I P binding force FAMILY CODE OF THE PHILIPPINES
Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with the law for the establishment of conjugal and family life.
age IMPOTENCE PREVIOUS BOND DISPARITY OF CULT SACRED ORDER PUBLIC PERPETUAL VOW OF CHASTITY ABDUCTION ACT OF CRIME CONSANGUITY AFFINITY PUBLIC PROPRIETY LEGAL RELATIONSHIP
CONSENSUAL INCAPACITY
IMM EDI ATE
J P R E P A R A T I O N O
Performs the matrimonal liturgy.
Bishop, priest, or deacon who assist at the marriage.
Delegated lay persons to assist at the marriages with the previous favorable vote of the episcopal conference and after having obtained the permission of the Holy See.
two common witnesses With sufficient use of reason and knowledge about the marriage.
extraordinary form danger of death foreseen death
Binds couple, at least one of whom is baptized in the Catholic Church.
may be obtained for mixed marriage & disparity of cult if the Local Ordinary of the intended place of marriage was consulted & that the norms of Episcopal Conference on the requisites and manner of granting a dispensation have been complied with & marriage should . still be public.
dispensation
CONSTITUTIVE PROCEDURE FOR THE CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE AS STIPULATED BY CHURCH LAW.
CANONICAL FORM Marriage is an intimate community of life and love, established by the Creator and endowed by Him with its own proper laws. God, Himself, is the author of marriage. T H E
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