SPECIAL NEEDS
Kids Who Need Help Making Friends
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very parent knows schoolyard friendships are important. Friends enrich our lives, boost our self-esteem, and provide the moral support we need when we’re memorizing multiplication tables. Developmentally speaking, making a friend in school is every bit as important as getting an A. Learning how to form successful peer relationships is a critical skill for kids, and one that they will be using—and refining—all their lives. But some kids have a harder time fitting in. Cornerstones of childhood interaction, like sharing a toy or engaging in make-believe, might elude them. While parents can’t make friends for their children, they can help them develop and practice key social skills. If you see your child struggling to make friends or getting rejected by other kids, here are some steps you can take to help. BUILDING SOCIAL SKILLS Social skills don’t come naturally to all kids. Impulsive and hyperactive children often act in ways that stymie their strong desire for friendship, notes Mary Rooney, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in ADHD and disruptive behavior disorders. They often have trouble taking turns and controlling their anger when they don’t get their way. More inattentive kids may act flighty or hover at the margins of playgroups, unsure of how to assert themselves. If you notice that your child is struggling to interact with his peers, try some coaching at home. Emphasize taking turns and sharing during family playtime and explain that friends expect the same good behavior. Impulsive children will also benefit from practicing different strategies for settling peer conflict. Role playing can be very helpful here. Of course, as a parent you should also be careful to demonstrate good social behavior yourself when talking to family members and your own friends.
‘everyone hates me,’ but they may not be able to describe what’s going on.” Teachers can give a better sense of your child’s peer interactions and suggest more positive classmates for after-school playdates. PRACTICE DURING PLAYDATES Supervised playdates are a great way for children to build their social muscles. Dr. Rooney suggests that parents spend some time before playdates reviewing social cues with their children. Some activities for playdate-prep include: Talk with your child about what it means to be a good host. What will your child do to make her guests feel comfortable? Have your child pick out a few games in advance. How will your child know when it’s time to move on to the next game? Ask your child how she will know if her guests are having a good time. Are they smiling? Laughing? As long as the children don’t veer into play that’s outright dangerous, let the playdate unfold as it may, recommends Jamie Howard, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. Children learn from the natural consequences of their actions, which is why it’s so important to let them practice socializing in a warm, supportive setting. And when you review how it went, focus on the good behaviors you want to reinforce. “Kids are more motivated by praise than by avoiding criticism,” says Dr. Howard. “Specific, labeled praise is most helpful. Instead of ‘good job,’ say, ‘you shared very well with your friend.’” HELPING SHY KIDS
Some kids are natural social butterflies while others need more time to warm up to new situations. Don’t worry if your child is a little For kids who need more intensive guidance, more hesitant in social situations. Expecting experts suggest using “social scripts,” or simple every child to jump in and be the leader of the everyday conversations that kids can practice with their parents. You can work with your child’s group isn’t realistic, so avoid pushing too hard. doctor or behavioral therapist to select appropri- However, parents shouldn’t make the mistake of ate scripts and develop a strategy for rehearsing keeping more tentative kids at home, either. Rachel Busman, PsyD, a psychologist who works and implementing them. Social scripts are especially helpful for children on the autism spec- with anxious kids, explains, “There’s a difference between accommodating and enabling. For shyer trum who need to deliberately learn key social kids we want to give them opportunities to meet skills, such as establishing eye contact and new kids, but we want to help bridge the responding to the moods of others. transition so they aren’t too uncomfortable.” j Finally, if your child has been having a hard time making friends, Dr. Rooney suggests setting up a childmind.org meeting with his teacher. “Often kids will say
Page 10 • Jax4Kids.com • FEBRUARY 2017
Things to Do Special Needs
Jumpstreet Special Needs Event February 4, 9am to 11am Jumpstreet hosts a special event for children with special needs and their siblings. The semi-private event will be held the first Saturday of the month. From 9am to 10am, the event is private; from 10am to 11am, the event is open to the public. Cost is $8 for children 4 and up; $4 for children 3 and under. Parents/guardians are free. Jumpstreet / 904-853-5721 / 1214 Beach Blvd, Jacksonville Beach, FL 32250 / www.gotjump.com Ninth Annual Stomp the Swamp For Autism February 4, 10am Stomp the Swamp for Autism is a fitness event held annually at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium benefiting the UF Center for Autism and Related Disabilities (CARD). This year, the Ninth Annual Stomp the Swamp for Autism will be held on Saturday, February 4, 2017 at 10am. The event will feature live entertainment and various UF organizations and community groups, student athletes, as well as free breakfast, the chance to win many raffle and race prizes including gym memberships, gift cards and more. There will also be an event t-shirt for everyone who pre-registers by January 28th. Participants will either run or walk the stadium inner loop, or run stadiums. All kids 12 and under participate for free in a specialized obstacle course just for them. Ben Hill Griffin Stadium / 121 Gale Lemerand Drive, Gainesville, FL 32608 / www.card.ufl.edu Buddy Breaks at Raiford Road Church February 4 Buddy Break is a free kids respite program where kids with special needs (VIP Kids) make new friends and enjoy all kinds of activities, while caregivers get a break. This program is provided by partnerships with local churches. Raiford Road Church / 904-259-6015 / 9201 South State Road 121, Macclenny, FL 32063 / www.nathanielshope.org CARD/FDLRS Satellite Clinic – St. Johns County February 6, 9am The UF-Jacksonville Center for Autism and Related Disabilities (CARD) and the UF-Jacksonville Florida Diagnostic & Learning Resources System Multi-Disciplinary Center (FLDRS-MDC) offer clinics to outlying counties in order to more effectively serve their constituents. Sign up for a consultative appointment with clinicians who specialize in child psychology, behavior therapy, academic interventions, Autism Screeners, Transition, and more. Appointments are at no cost to the family. Location: the Auditorium at the Fullerwood Training Center, 10 Hildreth Drive. To schedule an appointment please contact chanel. baldwin@jax.ufl.edu, (904)633-0816. Auditorium at the Fullerwood Training Center / 904633-0816 / 10 Hildreth Drive, St. Augustine, FL 32084 / card-usf.fmhi.usf.edu Deafness 101: Strategies to Implement For Your Deaf & Hard of Hearing Child February 7, 4:30pm This course will provide participants information about strategies they can utilize to assist their student in the classroom and at home. Presented by: DCPS/FDLRS, Child Find. The Parent Academy of Duval County Public Schools is a family resource designed for parents, caregivers, and community members. All Parent
Academy courses are free of charge. Parent Services FDLRS/Child Find Exceptional Education DCPS Building 4600 / 904-390-2960 / 4124 Blvd. Center Drive, Jacksonville, FL 32207 / www. duvalschools.org Angelwood’s Sweethearts Evening February 10, 5:30pm The kids will make arts and crafts and participate in other fun activities. A meal and snack will be served. This is YOUR time to get shopping done or have a adult time. The trained staff and volunteers from Angelwood will take the best care of your children. School-age children are eligible to attend. Please complete the pre-registration section online as soon as possible and return with a non-refundable $10.00 payment (per session) in order to save your child/ children’s space. Once your child(ren)’s spot has been secured you will receive a registration packet with the necessary forms to be completed. Angelwood / 904-288-7259 / 11251 Philips Parkway Drive East, Jacksonville, FL 32256 / angelwoodjax.org Tools for Success Family Conference February 16, 7:30pm Tools for Success helps families gain information on available resources and topics that affect their child’s education and well being. This year Tools will be held at UNF in the Adam W. Herbert Univ. Center. UNF University Center / 904-346-4601 ext. 119 / 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville, FL 32224 / toolsconf.wixsite.com Visit Jax4Kids.com for more event listings.
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