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Copyright 2011: Edgard Adriaens No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any informational storage or retrieval system without the expressed written, dated and signed permission from the author.






Still with you

Brotherly Hate

Sweet Mary-Lynn

Brown Leaves

The catalyst


The future song


The right thing

Dreams don’t die European

The screen actor as spectator


The sound of silence

I have let you down

The spanking

King of creation



Tribute to unhappiness



Making life a hell

Unprivileged witnesses



My prayer Raquel Welch Sailing

The essence of I The history of I The stage



ALBATROSS Between garbage and dirt Was born a bird Albatross by name, An eagle by fame, Who fought needless battles at sea Until a swallow passed by And taught him to fly. He fought needless battles at sea Until his wings broke him free. Now way above garbage and dirt Was heard a new cry As Albatross became king of the sky. It was a cry of joy, hope and pride In which, though, one could hear An echo of pain, uncertainty and fear Rebounding from earth Where all he loved broke down in tears When between the clouds They saw him disappear. Steady purpose and strong emotion were heard In the goodbye-cry of the mighty bird Fare you well, brave bird, fare well, Here between the rocks The candle of love will for ever burn And the songs we'll sing Will be carried by the winds And touch your daring wings.


They will lift you up whenever you are tired And convey to you the dreams of your roots, Our support and our love, as treasures for you. The songs we'll sing Will split smog and clouds And shine through the dark Just like on stormy days Sunbeams sometimes do. Fare you well, brave bird, fare well


ARANJUEZ My love, The soil you walk, The earth you smell, The air you breathe, They are still the same. My love, The world has changed a lot, And will do so even more With every new day Yet it will always remain the same. My love, The soil that I walk now, The earth that I smell, The air that I breathe, That is the world we share. And worlds, my love, There is only one, Only one, Only this very one. The one, my love In which I loved you yesterday The one in which I will love you endlessly.


BROTHERLY HATE We stole your country, Black Man, And took its riches away from you We made you a slave and forced you to work for us We called you primitive, backward and inferior We disliked you, nigger, but thought you could be of use. So we tried to use you, just as if you were some tool. We profited by your weakness And felt stronger in consequence But did not like you any more for it. So whenever we talked about you, We stressed how musical and strong you are, But how lazy, unreliable and stupid too. Things became worse when you talked About independence and equal rights And started stealing back what in fact had always been yours We really started hating you then, Black Man, Because so many “innocent people� got killed. Seated in our cosy chairs, we refused to consider That the colour of our skin was a symbol too: Of self proclaimed superiority, of oppression, Refused to see the harm and sorrow that it represented Nothing but Evil and bad things we had brought to you.


In some way, Black Man, we were glad, Because now at last, we had good reasons For fearing and hating you, For locking you up, For starving, torturing and killing you. That's about it, Black Man, So when one day you'll find the power To shatter your shackles Do not save me then, Nigger, do not For I am white too; I too, profited of you And you won’t read in my face That I sympathize with you, Because maybe, my brother, Maybe I will hate you too.


BROWN LEAVES Brown leaves dancing in the autumn wind: No more are we to any boss, my friend. The work we take pride and pleasure in, Is a mere dance in the indian summer wind, Judged in conditions that well may change From day to day. Judged by standards that tomorrow May have ceased to be. In exchange for the pay we receive, So many bosses think it’s ok to try and enslave us While they hide behind the nameless structures They sold their own soul to Because to them all that matters in this world Is their career and the money and power that it brings. So they move us around Like peons on a chessboard, Like a toy in a child's hand: Wanted today, tomorrow thrown away, Sacrificed to dashing, drifting models, Crucified, dumped and pulverised Just as easy, just as smooth. Brown leaves in the autumn wind No more are we to any boss, my friend. I wonder though how it is that they cannot see: They are continuously losing The best part of you and me. 8

CANDY How beautiful you were, my Candy, How innocent and fragile and sweet. You cried for the poor and cried for the war. I did not know there still existed people Like you at all! You were so nice and pretty, So madly in love with me. You left your boyfriend at a blink, And offered me your body As if it was a rose. I did not know there were any more of those! Sweet, sensitive, innocent Candy How I hoped this could be love! After all you were such a sweet little bird. You brought oceans of emotions into my world, The way nobody had ever done before. How very sad to find That everything about you was so fake. Too soon I discovered, I was just your weekend-lover You had another boyfriend at school: A boy in Brussels, and one on the bus, A boy that did not smoke And one who was fond of cheese, A boy for rainy days And me, ‌ I was just one of these. 9

DANIELLA "You ruined my entire life" You snapped at me, Your face torn with anger, Your brown eyes dark with hate, Your voice hoarse with contempt. Briskly you turned around And left me there whole alone Amidst the dancing crowd. Fifteen we were that day. Fifteen and it had been a year or more Since last we spoke. Just imagine: Somewhere between the ages of twelve and fourteen I have ruined a girls entire life By nothing else but playing hide and seek, Talking on the street, Exchanging drawings and letters every now and then And telling each other our love would never end. Funny: I still remember to this day That I never realised Just how fond I was of you Until my father send you away. And never once did we meet in secret Until our parents so forbade. Ach Sweet Lord, Why do some parents Ruin their children’s life Over nothing but their own fears? 10

DREAMS DON'T DIE If you ever visited Aalst You must know the little house That shows the Union Jack painted On the full surface of its front wall It has a sign beside the door “Welcome to autochthones and foreigners alike� If you ever visited Aalst You must know the house of my dreams; But you may not know me Though I am living nearby. I got a P.C., a V.C.R., a T.V., Piles of LPs, CDs and DVDs I got stuck with abbreviations, I have a wife and a golden cage I own a house and car And have some money at the bank What luck dreams don't die!


EUROPEAN European, he scorned How can you live like that? The only thing you have not planned yet Is the date and time of your death! I looked at him standing there alone, His marriage ruined long ago, His children divided over three families. He did not possess much more Than the clothes he was wearing. His last employer accused him of abuse of trust And he had outstanding debts In at least five different places. Yet he was madly in love again, With a girl he's known for some three weeks A month and thirteen thousand kilometres from here. So he's planning to leave the country - Or to getting her in, which for him Is very much the same thing. First, of course, he needs a car And some new furniture Therefore, he vaguely dreams About some super-job... Jesus, how can he live like that? The only thing he knows for sure Is that he too is going to die one day!


HEAVEN I am twenty-one and do feel strong Got a bonny wife I love so much And a steady job that keeps us in the rush. We are both feeling happy, healthy and young, Enjoying all diseases of modern conveniences Whilst saving for a nice sweet home And thinking of the common years ahead. We have some first class mates, Who -like us- enjoy the taste of beer, A shake of dances and sweat Mixed with the flavour of a mild cigarette, A drop of trivial gossip here, A little bit of profoundness there: That is how we live the life we think is the best.



So, if one day, I come to die Then put no flowers on my grave, Say no prayers for my peace of mind And sing no silly songs. For what I did cannot be undone And heave is what I’ll be leaving then: A world where I was God, With Marie the one who shared my life And Jesus the child we got. The Holly Ghost, - don’t you know? - He was my father All angels were relatives And saints: the people I have known. Therefore: when you find me all stiff and white Then know one God as gone From a heaven where billions could be happy If only selfishness and sickness could be cured


I HAVE LET YOU DOWN Here I sit at 2 a.m. Here I sit again And think of you, Sipping my coffee cold All sad and weary Because I have let you down I have let you down I have let you down I have let you down Like many damned times Have I let you down again. Yet, I must admit Never did I know How quiet and friendly This room can be at 2 a.m., How sweet the memories smile at me Somewhere between 2 and 3 Yet: I have let you down I have let you down I have let you down Today I let you down again


But then, Was it so very hard to miss me just this once And only for an hour or two? I too, missed you there Like I missed you in all those places Where we never were together. And like I miss all the places Where we never were.


KING OF THE CREATION (tribute to Bob Marley) You, man, get up. Stand up. Lift your head. No, don't bend your knee! Drop your chains now and look at me! Human, did I not give you the right to stand up Stand up for what you believe in? Then, how come you are now telling me You've never ever been free? You, Human, your whole life long, you step your feet, You curse my name and show your fists to me But finally, when you die and find out You're on your way to hell Then you look me in the eye and cry in agony: PLEASE LORDY, LET ME PLEAD MY CAUSE: I DRUDGED AND TOILED MY WHOLE LIFE THROUGH I PRAYED AND SLAVED AND ALL I'VE EVER DONE, WAS FOR THE GOOD OF MY FAMILY. THERE WERE HARD TIMES, LORD, PAYING AS WE HAD TO FOR THE CAR, THE PHONE, THE HOUSE ... THE LITTLE THINGS WE GOT‌ Oh, you man, you, Human, you'd better shut your mouth And listen to what I say. Now that is, while you're still alive You, man, you, you human, you lie, You sheet and steel and kill You worship nothing but gold. Gold and power, flattery and love Love that satisfies your bloody self.


You, you human, you creep, you crawl, You stoop and bow For every dime you get; You hear just what you like to hear, See only what you want to see and even then explain things In a crooked way, to make them more convenient to thee. Oh, you, Human, are you then really too blind to see How those little things, these thousand things You say you have been working for ... How they fill your life? You pile them up. You pile and pile and pile it on You, man, you never stop, you never even give yourself The time to see how fat your belly grew, How huge this wall of little things became. Oh, Human, millions are perishing of starvation No cars, no houses, no stereos have they to pay for Yet they starve because you, you human, You just can't think of anything but yourself. Oh you, human, you most unworthy king of my creation Your excuse has been denied, Your plead never reached my soul You, human, maybe this will make you realize That the opposite of love is not hate, but death! So you, Human, when will you awake?


LOOKS I guess we're all like that: One enters a room And the only person he's noticing Is the prettiest girl about. I guess we're all like that: One enters a room And the only person he sees Is the girl who's looking around just like he: Looking for a pair of eyes That linger once and linger twice, Talk of hunger and promise mystery, Then grow big and misty And change into a staring gaze For no obvious reason at all. I guess we're all like that: Dancing a thousand dances, Yet suddenly trembling at this one, Transcendentally aware of every breath, Every move of the body we are holding, The body we are wanting The body we know wants us. I guess we're all like that: Lost in visions of love and passion, Unexpectedly aroused by just a glance.


How interesting and inviting a person is That is capable of promising Love and understanding, Adventure and romance Too such degree In just about two seconds time! Sweet Lord, Never did we bargain for more Nor did we hope for less For this, My Lord, Is nature and its best:


LOVE To love is to be For nobody can exist without love. To be means: to live And as no living is possible for me without you, In consequence love are you. Love is the conception of our being together, The warmth of your thoughts, The lights in your eyes, The words we say when sitting close ... Even without speaking at all. Love is the pressure of your lips upon mine, My mouth on your breast, your hand on my leg, It is the sensation of our caresses, Your body against mine and mine in yours. But love is more! Love is the rose blooming in the inaccessibility of your soul, The unpredictability of your behaviour, The origin of our dreams, the reason of our being, The source of our strength, as said before: Love are you!



MAKING LIFE A HELL We said all the wrong things. We made all the wrong moves. So it is no wonder That this big love of ours could not last. We were young and excited Should have made fun Should have made love Instead of making each other’s life a hell! Looking back in the mirror of time, I see us in the same place all of the time; I hear us talking so very seriously; I see us dancing and kissing, Caressing the frontiers of decency. But where was the fun? Where were the friends? Where the unexpected, the adventure? We never let anyone in to our life! No wonder we were getting bored: All that kept us together Was the hope for the changes That you made me promise never to make. We were young and excited. Should have made fun, Should have made love. But instead we killed all the magic And turned heaven into hell.



MATRIMONY My mind and feet and hands are tied. Yet if I could join the other side, I would remain imprisoned still: A captive out of my free will. For what can all that freedom bring But theories with a smell of spring, That in the end will all collapse in pain Leaving me alone, worrying in vain? If not your love and tenderness for me, The warmth of everlasting sympathy Were there to accompany me through this world With every now and then a single reassuring word. Though different we will always be, Making allowances I for you and you for me, There is no need for convincing you That what you feel, I am feeling too. Because years of together life Made me really one with you, my wife: A solid basis for giving birth To children working for a better world!


MY PRAYER My Lord, it has been said That if you are perfection, And perfection is what I search, Then it is you I am looking for. And if eternity is my final goal, Then it is you I will meet with in the end For eternal are you alone. In the same way it has been said That at the end of my quest for love And justice, for freedom and happiness, For satisfaction of all my needs, There will be you: You, without whom No final fulfilment can be possible; You, last and everlasting question, Last and everlasting answer too, To the question and answer I am; You, without whom Life only in despair can end. And yet, dear Lord, However simple and beautiful If all this were to be true, However much at times I have wished it to be true,




RAQUEL WELCH Oh Well, I was fourteen And fed up with little girls. Felt I was quite a man. But since I lived, Trapped in boy's skin still, The only women to seduce Were paper fairies That I would never meet with. Like Raquel would my girlfriend be: Friendly, sexy and promising to me. Like Raquel should my girlfriend be: With a warm, tender and exiting body Capable of setting my imagination free. Oh Well, By the time that I was sixteen, A grown up man in the middle of his teens, - Hard pretending, that is, to be I was still turning over pages of magazines, Seducing paper women that I had never seen. Like Raquel would no girlfriend be: Always smiling, always inviting, always ready for me. Like Raquel could no girlfriend be: Saying, doing all the time the very words and things That lived in that crazy head of mine. Oh well, I learned in my right time That fighting dreams isn’t easy:


1. Not to any girl of flesh and blood That couldn't offer what on paper I already got 2. Nor to a boy, growing up to become a man, Until he found how lifeless and unreal How big a lie, how fake and bad a deal Any paper goddess will always be.


SAILING (there will never be no plain sailing) Who told you there is something I know, Something I'd want to show? Why don't you just go and let go? Forget it, let me be: I cannot see beyond my sky, I most certainly cannot see beyond yours! What is there I could tell you? I could tell that the silver lining beyond the clouds Is not reality, is not life, is not wat you will meet with (Nor anybody else if it comes to that), I could tell you that dreams - though nothing but a mixture Of personal needs, desires, thoughts, Frustrations and ambitions Will rule your life; That dreams - no matter how unreal Can give you the strength to push back Those iron walls that at some time will surround you; That dreams - elusive as they may be Can also weigh, depress and stress you Until you choke under their pressure: Crushed, smashed, shattered By nothing real at all. No ship sails against the winds. The dream of your generation, The part of it that is yours, Therefore: watch it,


Learn how to recognize it, Talk about it, criticize it, Follow it, improve it,... But always remember: There is no such thing as a silver lining That the sun will paint And the winds will blow towards you For what has been born from spirit alone, No man will ever acquire. Yet one can fight To prevent his dream from fading away, And one can fight to make this world brighter, To make other people see this light, Recognize it, talk about it, and criticize it, Improve it, follow it, and dream about it, Live up to it, fight for it...


SAND With both hands I grasped and caught And what no man could ever keep For one very long nanosecond, Was mine, all mine. A dreamer therefore I may be. Yet I support others With my time, my life, my energy. Others that I care for And that is quite all right Others, because I want to And that is just fine with me. With both hands I grasp at the light of the sun, At the rain and the snowflakes, At the romance of a million constellations Shining in the warm summer night. Yes, I confess: I am one who smiles at the moon And talks to the cows in the fields, I dance with the flowers And respectfully greet the holy old trees.


And of course, I dream of a woman stretched with desire Boasting her beautiful slim figure, And breasts with the softest of skin. Oh, yes I dream of making love in the grass, Of drowning in eyes that requite my mood, Of going to concerts and travelling with her ‌ But all my dreams are but sand That slips through my clumsy hands. Dreams that reflect in mirrors of glass The sand that the wind blows in my eyes. It is all sand in my eyes, Sand that mingles with the tears that I cry.


STILL WITH YOU Listen to the wind And you will hear my voice. Look up at the stars And you will see me smile. The sun, my love, that is I, That is you, that is life It is love, my love, just love. People will tell you That everything has changed They will tell you That the past has gone And the future will be your life, That only future is to come. Yet here I am, here I come Walking through the fields of time, Running towards you. Here I am, to love you now Knowing that you love me too Although I am just A little dot from a distant past.


You have so much future waiting Such a lot of time ahead, Just like I had only yesterday! But please, do bear in mind: The future I had yesterday Is yours today, is yours to come, Will be yours until tomorrow, Yours, until it will have gone away. Life is but a fragile rose That is passed from hand to hand. It is an empty shell Lying idly in the sand, Waiting for some child's hand To give it sense and meaning For another hour or so And then be lost Or thrown away again. Look, my love, Look over the rim of time And you will find me, smiling there And you will find me, lying there Just waiting to be found By you again.


SWEET MARY-LYNN You flushed and lost your voice Every time that I was near. How very clear it was For everyone to see: This truly was the love of the year! So we kissed and since that time, Met every single day in town And every weekend at the club; We went walking in the fields, And shared all we had. Surely we were the cutest couple of them all! But then, one night, unexpectedly You told me we were too young. Just like that. It was so very obvious: The magic of our love had gone And I had not even noticed. I remember walking home that night Singing "This cannot be" and feeling angry With myself because I couldn't cry. It was so hard having to admit That you were right: Deep inside, we’d always known Breaking up was part of our love affair.




THE FUTURE SONG Here I am to love you Knowing that you love me too Though I am just a little part of your past And you have so much future before you. Here I am to love you Knowing that only yesterday I had so much future before me And you were but a little star in my sky. So, sweet sweet child, do bear in mind The future I had coming to me yesterday Is yours today, is yours to shape Until the moment that you understand this song. Life is a rose, passed from hand to hand; A shell that is found, lying idly in the sand Waiting for a child's hand To give it sense and meaning Like a rose it is, bringing us messages Of beauty and love on a stem set with thorns; Like a shell it is, filled with daring dreams Of adventures with an happy end. A fragile miracle I hope you will cherish, My love, my girl, my friend.


THE RIGHT THING Pouring cats and dogs it was, The water overflowed the narrow path Alongside which we had parked the car. "Look at it rain" you exclaimed Climbing over to the back-seat "Just look at it rain!� But all I could see Was the long, fair hair Curling down your slim back. "Never even knew it could rain like this" You repeated, turning slowly towards me. "But then, don't all good things come from above?� You added, and your voice grew hoarse While you sank down on the bench Pulling me over with your blue eyes. Pouring cats and dogs it was, A bit like it is right now. So many years have passed Since that summer in the hills. Yet when I close my eyes I still see you stretched on that bench: All fair and white and pink Tender, slim, lovely just like then.


And as the rain brings back These memories of you, I still cannot help wondering Whether I did the right thing On that beautiful, distant rainy day, When I told you I could not stay.


THE SCREEN-ACTOR AS SPECTATOR My mind is working. Deep inside there are Levels of consciousness Mingling, tingling, Each apart. Deep inside, water is flying Through the paper curtain. What on top is NOW, Is under the bottom NOW. ... On floor twenty four I know what on floor eight is happening. If only I could stop this cursed wheel! If only my hands could heal! But I am just a bat nailed to a stable door, An impotent fetish that others use To support their lives with. I loathe the whisky smell Of manure produced in idleness, And breathe ad nauseam The nicotine of false comfort While, powerless, I watch How my veins are being drained Of dreams I thought I heard But never saw. 41

THE SOUND OF SILENCE The lights are dimmed, the fires low, The streets are empty, nobody is wandering about. The walls seem naked, everything perspires stress. Nothing clinks, nothing squeaks, no one sings, There is only the sound of silence. A bonny lass is whimpering, children pray, The trees are dying, the flowers gone The shadows on the crossing are armed And everybody is just listening To the sound of silence. For the next shell may fall here, The next bullet might be yours And the next to die: my brother, my friend, I, or you ... or you. And nothing will remain But the sound of silence. Why are we always fighting? Is it idiosyncratic with us? How illusive is power, how useless money When people that you really loved are Dead. Oh, chuckle-heads: before you grab your gun, Do think of that dreadful sound of silence!


THE SPANKING I hit you. I hit you with love, Like a father hits his son; Like the wind hits the waves; Like the rain hits the paves, And washes all the dust away. So did I hit you ‌ With love And ever since, the scream from your lips, The yell of the gull of the seas, The shriek of the owl in the trees, Reverberate in my heart. Long after you have forgotten your pain My soul remains un-mended still From the impotence that broke it apart. Whatever my blows washed away, It was not the grief from my heart, Nor the heaviness that stressed What was left of the hope from the start. I hit you with desperation, Like the rain hits the graves, And washes all the seeds away That clung to the marble plates; Like the wind hits the trees, And takes all the blossoms away;


Like a son hits his father, And in doing so kills part of the dream That would have made him the man He was meant to be. So did I hit you. And ever since, I carry a wound in my heart.


TODAY Nothing can undo Anything we've ever done, Nothing can change The kind of person We've become. Sure: today is the first day Of the rest of our lives; But as we all know And a pity to it, too: Tomorrow never comes. Nothing can undo What I have done, No one can change What I have become. There's too much past And the future still has not begun. Anyway: what is the use Of walking in yesterdays, Or dreaming about tomorrows If this implies not being home Not being around When love comes knocking at my door today? Here and now is where you'll find me. I'll be the one that is at home For the friend who comes by today, For my wife, who needs me now, For my daughter growing fast. ‌ Hell, I want today to last! 45

TRIBUTE TO UNHAPPINESS Days are dying one by one And with every day A little of myself has gone. There are people crying of loneliness, Hiding things they have not, Pretending to be What anyone can see they are not. There is a world out there filled with hunger, With sorrow, with hatred and anger A world of passion, of hope, and ambition... A world I have lost. What happened to my inventive mind? Where have my emotions gone? Why is it that I became so blind? Blind and deaf to all that's happening So close, so very close to me? Wealth and luck have made me lazy. Wealth and luck have killed my spirit. Wealth and luck have drowned my words. I am strong and young and healthy; I have the woman others are fighting for; I own the house they are dreaming of; I hold the job they are looking for... So there really is no need for me to sob. Nor is there any need left for me to live Because all they are living for ... I have got.


UNCONDITIONALLY Some people give their heart away, Talk of happiness and love for ever, Then get wet feet when they realize How much fun they are about to miss. But when the dream explodes into their face They turn to you again to help them out And spell out the terms under which They are willing to return into your arms. Strange that they do not understand That some people take love seriously And can only give their heart No terms attached - unconditionally?


UNPRIVILEDGED WITNESSES We've seen it all: We were in the best row all the way And counted every blow. We saw it all, we saw it all Whether fake or real wasn't always clear But sure as hell: we were the first to tell. I still remember we'd give peace a chance; We were the new jeaneration with flowers in our hair. And our heads filled with dreams of love and democracy. For a couple of years, everything seemed possible. It seemed so easy back then to tell right from wrong But in fact, we never even knew what was going on. Long time since, reality came crashing down on us And every time I hear this song "Where have all the flowers gone" Burning tears still gather in my eyes Sweet Lord: How they shot our dreams away! The Kennedies and Martin Luther King, Che Guevarra and Romero, Chile, Nicaragua, ‌ How they shot our dreams away!


Sad to say: we've seen it all We’ve seen it right before our eyes We've seen it happen at eight o'clock Just before man walked on the moon. We were in the best row all the way And counted every blow. Kissinger, Nixon, Reagan, Bush, … They all had their part of the fun. Vietnam lays in ruins, Africa is a desert now, The Sowjet Union simply ceased to exist, Some even say United States citizens Are the biggest victims of all. But they do not know …. Yet. Soo we better get ready for the eight o'clock news To witness what is coming next.


WHY You've got tears in your eyes, little girl. Tell me: why are you sobbing? Aren’t you happy to live In one of the world's richest states? Tell me, little girl, why? Are you crying because of the poor, lodged in slums? Because of your brother, fighting in Viet Nam? Maybe because of the development countries Exploited by our countries, Tell me, little girl, why? Is it because of the oppression of people? Because of the thousands living in slums? Because of nations fighting each other? Because of hate, wandering all around? Tell me, little girl, why? Oh, I see: you're weeping over your broken dolly. Go on crying, little girl, and be happy you can, Daddy sure will buy you a pretty new doll soon; Excuse me for thinking for a minute that you had grown up And that misery and injustice in the world made you cry. But then, I should have now better Because even grown ups don’t usually care About a small detail like that!







A Handful of Dreams  

Poetic dreams about life, romance, love, social and political issues

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