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WEDDING BELLS JUly 3, 2020

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Why Is Everybody Getting Married in a Barn?

Yes, there will be mason jars.

CAROLINE KITCHENER MAY 10, 2018

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t’s early May. Which means it’s wedding season. Which means a whole lot of Americans will soon be partying in a barn.

Millennials, in staggering numbers, are choosing to start their married lives under high eaves and exposed beams, looking out over long, stripped-down wooden benches and lines of mason jars. According to an annual survey from The Knot, an online wedding-planning platform and magazine, 15 percent of couples chose a barn, farm, or ranch for their wedding reception in 2017, up from just 2 percent in 2009. Meanwhile, more traditional wedding locales are losing their appeal. (The number of couples choosing to celebrate in banquet halls dropped from 27 percent in 2009 to 17 percent in 2017; similarly, hotel receptions dropped from 18 to 12 percent.)

Even if a couple isn’t actually getting married in a barn, there’s a good chance they’ll make their venue look like one, said Gabrielle Stone, a wedding planner based in Boston, Massachusetts. “There is this term that people use now: rustic chic.”

Typically, that means couples will fill

the space with homemade chalkboard signs and distressed, vintage furniture. “And wooden water barrels,” Stone said. “Lots of water barrels.”

When I asked my first question— are barns popular because they’re cheap?—Gwen Helbush, a wedding planner from San Francisco, laughed. “Don’t we wish it were so,” she said. While there are, surely, many relatively inexpensive barn weddings thrown in actual barns, by couples who actually live in rural areas with easy actual-barn access, anecdotal evidence suggests those probably aren’t what’s driving this trend. (Data is not available broken down by race, class, geography, or anything else—a level of granularity that would surely add to the picture of who is buoying this trend and why.)

Over the last few years, a wave of faux barns, designed exclusively to

host weddings, have popped up across the country. Venues like Virginia’s Pippin Hill Farm, built in 2011, offer an experience that its owner Lynn Easton Andrews called “expensively understated.”

“We’re not seeing bales of hay in the middle of the barn,” Stone said. “No one is wearing overalls, per se.” The tarnished brass lamps and faded couches are generally hauled in from boutique vintage rental companies—another business booming with the barn-wedding industry—more akin to props than random, leftover farming accoutrements.

Like earlier generations of Americans, Millennials want a beautiful (read: expensive) wedding. According to one widely cited set of statistics, the average wedding cost has been steadily increasing, from $27,021 in 2011 to $33,391 in 2017. But, despite these price tags, many young couples today don’t

want to be showy about it. Happier at a brewery than a fancy restaurant, accustomed to wearing jeans to work, many Millennials are proudly casual. There is a certain social capital that, as a 20- or 30-something, comes with being labeled “laidback” and “chill.” “You’re going to be putting yourself out there in front of everyone you know and love and you don’t want to be judged harshly,” Helbush told me. The trappings of a traditional, formal wedding in a hotel ballroom—a fancy fish dish, a black-tie dress code, trays of champagne—are seen by many as stuffy and old-fashioned: chill’s antithesis.

When Easton Andrews asks couples to show her pictures of their dream wedding, the same type of image crops up a lot. “There are people sitting on long tables, clinking glasses, smiling,” she said. “It’s about how heartfelt it feels—people sitting together, breaking bread, sharing the experience.” Formality, for many Millennials, feels awkward. It adds

pressure. If a wedding were clearly designed to be just-so—not a table setting out of place—Millennials, Helbush said, may find it hard to relax. Barns and farms, on the other hand, eviscerate that pressure with their inherent informality. A guest can knock over a glass. Life will go on.

Young couples today, more than their parents or grandparents, see a wedding as an expression of their identity. Because they’re choosing to get married later than previous generations, Helbush finds that her clients today seem to know themselves better than her clients 30 years ago.

“They’ve come into themselves more,” she said. “They know what they like and they aren’t afraid to ask for it.” Couples gravitate towards locales that say something about their personality. By choosing to get married in a barn, Easton Andrews said, a couple might want to show that they’re “connected to nature.”

Maybe they fell in love outside,

hiking or camping. Other unique locales—historic homes and museums for history buffs, and vineyards for wine lovers—are also having a moment in the wedding industry.

“It’s about the couple—who they are, and what they want to represent,” Helbush told me. “More than ‘How do I want other people to see me?’ it’s ‘How do I want to see myself?’”

Many, she said, live in urban areas and have a fantasy about a life that is “calmer and less complicated”: a life removed from the big city, where couples and their guests can be one with the animals (or—if none are available—at least the spaces they could theoretically inhabit).

A barn wedding typifies a simpler life, Helbush said, “because Pinterest told us so.”

Yes, it sucks. But right now, it’s necessary. And here’s how to go about it.

This is YOUR day. Think about how you’ll feel 5 years from now. 10 years from now. Will you regret not having a celebration with your nearest and dearest? If the answer is yes, postpone your wedding instead of canceling.

You will support small businesses. Most of your vendors are independent business owners. Couples are greatly affected by this pandemic, but so is the industry at large. ince weddings and social events can contribute to the We want to #saveevents and help our fellow humans spread of COVID-19, many couples are scrambling to during this time. Postponing is one way to do this. reschedule their big day. The CDC has put together a Canceling could hurt you financially. Before you make the decision to cancel your wedding, consider the finanlist of considerations for postponing or canceling gathercial hit you may take. Read the fine print in your conings, and discourages events of any size during this time. tracts for policies on nonrefundable deposits, retainers, (Be sure to keep an eye on the updates and stay informed or cancelation fees. This is money that could potentially as things change!) be applied to a new date instead of lost entirely.

If your wedding is affected by the coronavirus pandemic While it may be tempting to just throw up the white flag and you need to “change the date”, here are the steps to and cancel your wedding, we strongly encourage you to take. You got this! reconsider—and reschedule. Here’s why:

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1. Check your insurance policy If you secured wedding insurance *before* the pandemic hit, check to see if you’re covered. Every insurance policy is different, so you’ll want to review the terms carefully.

If you’re thinking of buying wedding insurance NOW to assist with a current cancelation, it doesn’t work that way. Steve Lauro of WedSafe tells us, “Given the news coverage and official designation as a pandemic, it is considered a known event, which would likely preclude any coverage for policies sold after a certain date in time.”

2. Contact your venue and vendors If you have a wedding planner, great! They’re going to be your biggest support system through all of this (as well as your therapist!). They’ll be able to reach out to your vendor team, review your existing contracts, and navigate through any details you may not have thought of.

If you don’t have a wedding planner, reach out to your wedding team personally to let them know you’ve come to the difficult decision to postpone. Set up a time to chat about the terms of your contract as well as future available dates.

3. Communicate with your guests Your families, wedding party, and friends need to be informed ASAP. Call or email each guest and post updates to your wedding website or social media. Get confirmation that all guests have received your updates. You can even enlist your wedding party to help!

4. Keep an open mind

How To Postpone Your Wedding

It’s okay if your rescheduled wedding looks totally different. Yes you were hoping for a Saturday wedding in May, but now you’re looking at a Thursday wedding in November.

While it’s okay to be disappointed, feel the feels...and then try and look at the bright side of things!

5. Celebrate your original date Even if we’re all still quarantined, you should find fun ways to celebrate your original wedding date! Set up a virtual happy hour for the wedding party on Zoom or cook an elaborate dinner with your soon-to-be spouse (complete with a cutting cake!). Just because we’re socially distanced doesn’t mean celebrations are canceled—so do something that brings you joy.

And please remember: Even though it’s chaotic and emotional and scary and out of your control right now, you WILL get through this. Yes, it sucks having to adjust your wedding plans. But it really helps to keep things in perspective. (Remember those silver linings we talked about earlier?) You’re still madly in love. You can still have a fabulous celebration once this pandemic blows over. And you’ll have a heck of a story to tell your grandkids!

Interview with

Wedding Photographer

Brett Hickman

3.) How would you describe your style (style of photography/art and shooting style)?

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ver since I met Brett I’ve been a fan of his photography. Not only is he a skilled photographer, he’s also very business-minded and an all-around great guy. I hope you will enjoy this interview with Brett as much as I enjoyed interviewing him.

You can find Brett on his own site at Brett Hickman Photographers as well as on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram.

1.) Hey Brett, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself, where you’re from and the kind of work you do?

“I’m born and raised in Orange County, California. I am the youngest of four children. At age 19 I moved up to the San Francisco Bay area for a period of roughly 5 years where I studied film, in particular the production side of it all. I re-

turned back to my home town and began working in the television industry for a short period of time before leaving and starting my own wedding and portrait photography business.”

2,) Did you study photography or are you self-taught?

What got you into photography, and when/how did you decide to focus 100% on your craft and build your business?

A little of both actually. I am mostly self taught, however studying cinematography and other elements of motion picture certainly lend a great deal of understanding and organization, not only with regard to the creative and technical sides of photography – because know doubt there’s a certain balance of both—but the business side of it as well.

That’s always a tough question. I’d like to say honest. Classy. Elegant. Most photos of my clients, and the environment around them, depict a moment where emotion has peeked, and the walls that people put up have come down for a brief moment in time. That’s what I am after.

4.) What were your early influences?

Any photographers you looked up to or you still look up to today?

My earliest influences, were actually films, and the cinematographers and directors that created them. With regard to wedding photography only, my biggest influences were Jonas Peterson, and Jerry Ghionis – coincidentally, both Aussies. I still am in awe of their work today. I can look through a Jonas Peterson album today and still get emotional while thinking to myself, now how did he pull that off? And Ghionis – he’s brilliant with his light, the way he interacts with clients, and the financial/business elements of it all. Jerry’s a businessman at the top of his game.

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5.) The days of editing and manipulating photos in a darkroom are pretty much over, but that doesn’t mean the photographs we take today with our digital SLR cameras don’t need post-prod work.

Do you spend more time with the camera or in front of the computer?

I certainly spend more time behind the computer than the camera, however my time culling and editing behind my computer is still greatly reduced and pretty minimal due to a couple of great resources. First, I cull my images using Photo Mechanic. It’s the fastest, easiest way to cull your images and prep for editing. I cull an entire wedding in about 2.5 hours or less. I use Lightroom 5 for all of my editing. And my biggest time saver is getting it all right in camera. I shoot Kelvin for my white balance setting, and I proceed with shooting once I know my settings are really dialed in. That way when I get my images into Lightroom, it’s a light contrast bump, and very minor color correction. That’s about it.

6.) What do you think is the future of photography? With the rise of camera phones, mirror-less cameras and other new technologies, where do you think all of this is heading? Will DSLR still have a place in 5 or 10 years?

Absolutely. Just like film still has a place, not only universally, across all industries, but especially in weddings. In fact, film is on the rise with great photographers like Jose Villa and many other “rock star” wedding photographers turning to and promoting the use of 35mm and medium format film. I see no reason the DSLRs would be a thing of the past in 5-10 years.

Vera Jenning’s

Crystal Colle The Amber $6,000

ection The Christiana $7,500

Available at VeraJennings.com

Brittany and Steve’s Intimate Wedding Brittanty and Steve tie the knot at the Philidelphia Wedding Chappel surrounded by loved ones Photos by Gorgi Anastasov

The Top Wedding Cake Tips No One Tells You We're serving up every delicious cake detail you need to know.

by The Knot You might not know much about wedding cakes (besides the obvious fact that they're delicious), but the more informed you are, the better your decisions will be. Help pick your perfect confection with our top tips, below.

You have to go in for a tasting.

At tastings, clients are invited into the bakery to sample exemplary cakes, ask questions and review portfolios. This is an excellent opportunity to meet bakers, bond with them and fully understand the range of their abilities. Picking your baker is a big deal—you'll want to get to know their personality and make sure they're genuinely excited about your wedding day too.

Picking your cake style should be one of the last things you do.

You may love a rustic semi-naked cake, but if you’re hosting a blacktie ballroom wedding, that style may not jive. Deal with the cake after all decisions about dress style and reception décor have been made. These elements can serve

as a blueprint for the design and structure of your wedding cake.

Choose a cake that's compatible with the style of the venue, the season, your gown, the flower arrangements or the menu. If you want colorful accents (such as sugar flowers or icing ribbons), give your baker fabric swatches. The cake should be part of the wedding, not a glaring sideshow.

You need to finalize your guest list (and size of your space) first.

When deciding what size cake to order, first look to your guest count. Generally, three tiers will serve 50 to 100 guests; you’ll likely need five layers for 200 guests or more. If the reception is in a grand room with high ceilings, consider increasing the cake’s stature with columns between the tiers. (A “stacked” cake is one with its layers stacked directly atop each other, with no separators.)

Wedding cake is often priced by the slice.

The cost varies, but generally ranges from $1.50 to $15 per slice (though this is a very general and loose estimate). The more complicated the cake (based on intricate decorations or hard-to-find fillings), the higher the price tag.

Fondant icing is more expensive than buttercream, and if you want elaborate molded shapes, vibrant colors, or handmade sugar-flower detailing, you’ll pay for the cake designer’s labor. (For the record, the average amount couples spend on their wedding cake, according to our Real Weddings Study, is $540.)

There are tons of ways to save.

Order a small cake that’s decorated to perfection but can only feed a

a handful plus several sheet cakes of the same flavor to actually feed the guests. Stay away from tiers, handmade sugar flowers and specially molded shapes. Garnish with seasonal flowers and fruit for an elegant (but less expensive) effect.

If you'll have a dessert table (or another sweet) in addition to the cake, consider a cake sized for half your guests. Servings will be smaller, but the fee will shrink too.

Choose the right frosting.

Buttercream or fondant? That's the main question. Buttercream is often much more delicious. But if you love the smooth, almost surreal-like look of fondant as much as we do, consider frosting the cake in buttercream first and then adding a layer of fondant over the entire confection. You can also go for ganache—a decadently rich frosting with a fudgy texture made from chocolate and cream.