Your Stories Matter by itsnotacompliment

YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S MATTERSTORIESYOUR POETRY • PHOTOGRAPHY • ILLUSTRATION • ESSAYS FROM THE PEOPLE OF THE CITY OF MELBOURNE

YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S We acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land on which we work, the Bunurong Boon Wurrung and Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung peoples of the Eastern Kulin Nation. Senior Designer Angela McGinness With Aid from Aakanksha Manjunath Cover photographer Megan Millsom Find us here! @itsnotacomplimentmelbwww.itsnotacompliment.orgitsnotacomplimentmelbourne@gmail.com Funded by

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YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S Contents MappingIntroduction:Your Stories Letter from our CEO Aakanksha Manjunath Message from the Lord Mayor of Melbourne Sally Capp Message from the Minister for Education and Women Natalie Hutchins Message from Brea Dorsett One Thousand Eyes Nina Blasche That’s So Gay! Nicholas Tsekouras Legs Like These Savannah Hollis You Can’t Wear That Yunn Chen Assorted Angela McGinness **** Michael Lye The Power Of One’s Words Niti Nadarajah 6 Ways You Can Support 1076531 23211917161311

YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S Contents Somebody Who Has Experienced Street Harassment Personhood Yasmin Elbouch You Don’t Own Me Victoria McGinness Not for show: How the Sexualisation of Lesbians in Media and Society Affects Street Harassment Towards Lesbians Marisa Lo Bartolo What Was I Wearing? My Favourite Roxy Polo Emmy Mimieux Untitled Aakanksha Manjunath Racism and Racial Harassment Against AustraliansAsian/AsianIs Alarming Erin Wen Ai Chew ( CoFounder and National Convener for the ASIAN ALLIANCE)AUSTRALIAN Outsider Dororthy Sam Literally Never Laura McConnell Conti33292726 43413735

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numerous educational resources, and run multiple campaigns to raise awareness about street harassment.

When the INAC team first sat down to brainstorm and plan for Your Stories Matter, we knew that an interactive map would be a key component of the project. It’s a perfect combination of the different forms of advocacy that our organisation prides itself on: conducting research on street harassment, providing a safe space for all people to share their stories of harassment and discrimination, and raising awareness through lived experience.

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Our interactive map will be one of a kind. It will be a resource for our community members and the wider public, with individuals able to see which locations in the City of Melbourne that others have deemed to be safe, and which locations have been hotspots of street harassment for others.

Additionally, the map will be a vital source of data for our upcoming research report, which will be released in 2023. In 2021, we published our first research report, A Snapshot of Street Harassment Experiences in Victoria, which investigated the impact that race, sexuality, gender identity, disability, and housing have on experiences of street harassment. The survey associated with this report was the first of its kind in Victoria. Our 2023 research report will take our investigations further, particularly focusing on the City of Melbourne and safety outcomes in the municipality. Finally, our interactive map poses a unique opportunity to improve street safety in Melbourne. The findings from CONTRIBUTE2 HERE

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TO THE MAP

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CEO-AakankshaandCo-Founder Manjunath

LETTER FROM OUR CEO Aakanksha

hooks once said, “The practice of love is the most powerful antidote to the politics of domination”. She also said, “The word ‘love’ is most often defined as a noun, yet we would all love better if we used it as a verb.”

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I think I can speak for the whole team when I say that this digital publication is the labour of love, passion, and the unyielding commitment to creating a more just and equitable world for all. I want to take a moment to thank my amazing team without whom this magazine and project would have been a pipe dream and the City of Melbourne for supporting and sharing our vision of a world free from street harassment. Finally, I would like to thank our community who inspire us, challenge us, help us grow and be better, and actively work with us to address street harassment in Melbourne and beyond. We hope you enjoy reading the magazine as much as we enjoyed creating it. And remember your voices, your experiences, and your stories matter. Do not let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

he City of Melbourne is proud to support the Your Stories Matter project through its Social Partnerships Program as we strive to create communities of equality and Everyonerespect. deserves to enjoy the excitement of our city, and to feel safe to do so. This two-year project empowers people to bravely shine a light on the work that must be done to create a safer city.

We’re also proud to be a lead partner of Project Night Justice, along with Victoria Police, Crime Stoppers Victoria, Full Stop Australia and the University of Melbourne.

This initiative will promote safer communities and public spaces by improving safety within and around latenight venues, major events and transport hubs.

The data gathered through surveys, workshops, maps and the digital magazine will inform our strategic wplanning, and empower community and business leaders to take meaningful steps towards preventing violence and harassment. Alongside this work, we have committed to targeting and disrupting the drivers of violence through our Creating Communities of Equality and Respect: Women’s Safety and Empowerment Action Plan.

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MESSAGE FROM THE LORD MAYOR OF MELBOURNE Sally Capp

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In a bar or restaurant it can make us feel like we have no right to those public spaces. That we don’t belong. That we’re unsafe.

Natalie

There is never an excuse for harassment.

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MESSAGE FROM THE MINISTER FOR WOMEN AND EDUCATION

It’s often used by men against women to make women feel vulnerable and too often, when someone is harassed in a public setting, others don’t step in. We must stop harassment wherever we find it and I have been proud to support Project Night Justice – a program focused on Melbourne CBD to ensure everyone can enjoy a night out in the city free from Itharassment.isallofour responsibilities - as communities, customers, workers and business owners to make sure women feel safe – because it is all of us in the moment that have the power to intervene. We set the standard of behaviour that we demand from each other and we also set the standard for what we are prepared to excuse. There is never an excuse for Iharassment.recentlygot to meet many of the passionate team members from It’s Not a Compliment, along with representatives from Full Stop Australia, Crime Stoppers, Melbourne City Council and local venues who committed to working together to support women and gender diverse people in the TogetherCBD.we launched the Night Justice project, to help everyone enjoy a good night out in the CBD. It brings together venues, who can be trained in how to identify and intervene to prevent harassment; Full Stop Australia, who are accrediting those venues fulfilling the Good Night Out program; and Crime Stoppers, who are running a program to empower bystanders to stand up and speak up. I am proud that the Andrews Labor Government funded this important work from our Building Safer Communities Whileprogram.the project’s main focus is on gender-based harassment, I hope to see similar projects spring from this work to make sure that all groups get to enjoy our Thiscity. can build on other work done by all levels of Government. When I was the Minister for Women and Prevention of Family Violence I established Respect Victoria – an independent statutory authority tasked with leading our ambitious prevention of family and gendered violence agenda – because all Victorians have a right to expect equality and respect in their relationships.

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longer racing from physical exertion, but from the anxiety of experiencing street harassment.

Walking home from school I would keep my house keys wedged between my fingers, ready to use them as a weapon. Every three steps forward, I would glance over my shoulder to make sure the people around me weren’t following me. If someone was walking behind me, I would

catcalled.wolfwhentheenjoymentmyIcameparticularlyathletics,whenittorunningevents.wouldrunlapsaroundneighborhoodforandtotrain.ButenjoymentstoppedIwouldbefollowed,whistled,andMyheartwasno

double their pace. I am not sure where I learnt these self-protection behaviours, I think it has become the natural instinct of being a woman. As an Australian citizen I received my probationary license at eighteen, allowing me to drive. I consider my car as a safe space, but the harassment didn’t stop. Catcalling from cars next to me at the lights, cars revving their engines, and then being harassed at service stations simply trying to get petrol. For this reason, I would never visit service stations alone. My anxiety wouldn’t allow me. I would run my car to empty and inconvenience myself rather than go by myself. I vividly remember taking the steps to visit the service station alone at age twenty. I had to hype myself up, but I did it. What was my reward? Being approached by a group of men, and laughed at when they sprayed me with a water pistol. I was mortified. I am an advocate for minorities in our community and want to ensure they, amongst everyone, are safe, educated and empowered. An area of interest that I have begun exploring is the sex work industry. If It’s almost as if my job title has made my human redundant.rights

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MY EXPERIENCES OF STREET HARASSMENT; FROM CARS TO CLUBS Brea Dorsett

he first time I can recall experiencing harassment in a public space was when I was age eleven at Melbourne Museum whilst on a primary school excursion. A man was following me around and proceeded to rub up against my behind. He kept following me around, trying to speak with me and engage in conversation despite me making it obvious I was uncomfortable and trying to move away. I grew up as an active child. I played netball, basketball and thrived in school

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8 23 year old proud feminist, mentor, researcher and advocate working on Bangerang and Yorta Yorta Country. Pronouns are she/her. My name is Brea (pronounced Bree) and I am a young woman, showing up as the person I need ed when I was younger. As someone who has experienced a range of adversity from youth homelessness, to mental illness, I feel that it is my duty to share my skills developed from my journey with others to prevent them experiencing the heart ache I have faced. I am fairly well known in the Greater Shepparton Region for giving back to my community. This can be seen through my volunteer work delivering workshops to homeless youth, undergo ing research internships to investigate how we can support the youth in our com munity, offering my time to Youth Parlia ment and empowering women through being a mentor for the Flamingo Project based in Shepparton.

I thought my previous experiences of street harassment were bad enough, it was about to get a whole lot worse. As an exotic dancer, street harassment has continued but has also turned into physical assault, sexual assault, public shaming, humiliation and being attacked online. Regularly. It’s almost as if my job title has made my human rights redundant. I am not seen for who I am as a person, but what I do as a profession. Not just walking to and from the venue, but even on shift. It is almost as if the job means patrons are entitled to assault or harass me (and other dancers). Leaving the club I am constantly harassed by patrons, and have been cornered by men asking me to go back home to their place, or to give them a dance. I have had friends followed home on trams and had comments yelled at them as they walk down the street, but it isn’t limited to public spaces.s. Hatred, harassment and hurtful comments follow us into our home with social media

Everyoneplatforms.- and I mean everyonedeserves the right to feel safe at work, regardless of their profession. Everyone deserves the right to leave their house for the essentials like groceries and petrol, to feel safe to go for a run around the block, to feel safe driving from destination A to B. But the reality is, we do not feel safe. Street harassment is a human rights issue. We need change now, more so than ever. The first step is having our stories heard.

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ONE

Nina Blasche

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IWithLooking.HowThoughDoAndbed.concreteUponandbleedingBreathless,dead.thismoonlit,Iwonder...theynowknow?Ifeignignorance,Iseeyoutheredeadenedeyeslookuponmyownnaked flesh with one thousand eyes staring back.

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Nina Blasche is an animator, illustrator and artist based in Naarm (Melbourne). Like many people in the INAC community, Nina has personally experienced street harassment, which has motivated her to create writing, art, comics and poems about street harassment.

With bleary eyes, you watch me walk by. Assessing Theundressingme,meonlywayyou can possess me. With greedy eyes, you take the sight of me in. Piercing my skin, imagining your sin. With trusted eyes, I pretend not to seeas your gaze carelessly traces up my knee. With nocturnal eyes, I youfearwill devour me here.

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Nicholas Tsekouras

THAT’S SO GAY!

Nicholas Tsekouras (he/they) is an emerging, queer and visual artist born and working in Naarm (Melbourne). Tsekouras typically produces vibrant, colourful, and captivating art. They enjoy exploring his inner thoughts and feelings and reflecting on his own experiences in their art. He recently completed a Bachelor of Arts (Visual Arts) and Law degree from Australian Catholic University. You can find more of their works on Instagram at @tsekourasarts.

TheyITenderlooking.things.lovethem.areparts of me that I know were made to be kissed, both by the sun and others. They are long, as all my body is. Not that I am tall, perhaps, but that I appear long. Long torso, long legs, long arms. When I skate, because my particular skates are heeled, I stand like a gangly thing. Occasionally I will catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a window and see so much girl that it is sort of a miracle. Like you would look at me, smile, and say “with this one, god just kept going”. I say this so that you understand what I was wearing, how it hung on me, as all clothes must hang on all girls differently. To understand the context, one must understand the body. I* love that outfit, though it is maybe more a conscious decision to wear it now. A plain black knit that’s a little oversized, but light enough that, when the wind catches it, it hugs my figure with love, with these green shorts maybe 3 sizes too big but rolled up and pulled tight with a belt. But it hardly matters, because the crowning decadence of the thing is the huge denim jacket bought in Perth years ago against the advice of every other eighteen-year-old in the store. It’s a majesty sort of. Buttoned up it is the most casual of dresses, unbuttoned it is sheik and irreverent. It’s long enough to cover the shorts, though only just, and short enough to be fun. The irony of it was that I was walking to a class on gender equity at the University. Having just got off the 59 Tram at that intersection between the hospital and the 7/11. It was nearing 5pm and for some reason, once I had bought a bottle of water, there was almost no foot traffic. Normally that little corner of the city is hum with people constantly and it is only later, when class lets out around 6.30 that I would find it that quiet. But that day, all the sick were in their wings, all the students in their classes, all the businesspeople home already. And it was just me there, crossing the tram tracks and the road towards the uni. Despite the lack of foot traffic cars were backed up on the road. I was having to weave through the melancholy of evening commuters to make my way across and I wasn’t really thinking much of it. There was only the low buzz of anxiety. It always makes me nervous when Flemington Road gets like that. I always think it is then that someone will zone out from boredom and not see me wandering across. I made it onto the verge. The voice was calm and not at all angry, matter of fact. When I turned, the woman in the passenger side of the car was leaning out her window, looking for my reaction to being called a Sheslut. didn’t seem mean somehow.

LEGS LIKE THESE Savannah Hollis 13

Without shorts on my thighs transition to butt gently, that is, with little demarcation. Not because my butt is small (size wise I would describe it as maybe admirable, in the same way people kind of call the working class aspirational) but because that is the way my body has taken form. I like cardio, especially roller skating, so my thighs are where most of my muscle is. In a draft of this piece, I call that muscle distribution “disproportionate” but that doesn’t seem right, that implies maybe they are so wash with muscle so as to become noticeable. This is not the case. They are soft

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When I turned, the woman in the passenger side of the car was leaning out her window, looking for my reaction to being called a slut. The car was a nice car. She looked a bit like the mother of a childhood friend. I thought she maybe only saw the outfit from the back, and for some reason that when I turned and she saw the shorts and shirt underneath she would be taken aback. Her expression didn’t change. She waited and looked bored when I wasn’t hurt, that I just shrugged like “what do you want then, if not to see that my body is not as revealed as you thought, that shorts look shorter on legs that are Three*longer?”months earlier I am on the other side of the hospital, walking afterGatehousedownStreetapicnicwith a friend in the Native Garden. It was her birthday, so I was decorated in the kind of party dress that maybe went out of style a few years ago. White, rumpled straps that cover your boobs, a short half-structured skirt with a little bit of a built-in petticoat. I was walking to the 59. Dressed up on a Wednesday at noon, it made sense that every now and again I would catch someone’s eye. Until a man stuck his head out of his ute as it sped round the corner by Park Drive, and turned back to face me, fully turned his head a hundred and eighty degrees as he drove round a corner. And why? Why risk death? To wave. I didn’t know him; I saw his face. We met eyes and he waved. He was young. He smiled sheepishly. There were other people around. He waved to none of them. I watched him sail past them all. And what do you do in a progressive city with a progressive misogyny, where women feel empowered to show their teeth in the best and worst ways, where men actualise friendliness into violence. Of course, that has always been an excuse behind misogyny, that it is a compliment, but this is the evolution that notion has been forced to take on. Where it is friendliness, genuine friendliness, not affect or excuse or otherwise, which has become not just the precursor to or the protector of violence, but the violence itself. When I saw his eyes, they were genuine. They held didmalicious.nothingButtheynotunderstand their own impulse. They did not understand that had I not had legs like these, bared to be kissed by the sun, that he would not have presumed to know me. He would not have presumed I was the kind of person he could, or would want to, be friendly with. That his seeing me and feeling an impulse to a kind of aberrative communality was an impulse towards sexualisation buried amongst conditioning from a culture that holds a pretence of abhorring sexualisation on an ideological level, but conditions all the Howsame.do you parse the irony of being 14

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called a slut by a woman as you walk to a classroom full of women from broad backgrounds who all have similar stories? Does she not know? Does she not know what it is to have the parts of your body you love argued into… what? Longer pants?

Bitch, they are long pants I just have long legs, and even if I didn’t fuck you. I have a right to my legs. A right to enjoy them. To enjoy my body. To see the sun glint and sheen around my thighs when I look down or catch my reflection. To feel them warm in the directness of natural light. To feel them beautiful not because of external comment but because I can see them and I know. I have a right not to be singled out just because I dress like this or have legs like these.

Savannah Hollis is a writer, editor, and student living in Naarm. Her work appears in Bent Street and Farrago Magazine, and she was shortlisted for the Australian Book Review’s Calibre Essay Prize in 2022. She has read at Midsumma Festival and in 2021 she was awarded a Varuna Residential Fellowship to work on her first novel.

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Following a successful eight year career as an immigration lawyer, (during which she was featured in the SBS documentary ‘Who Gets To Stay In Australia’ and a finalist for the Women In Law 2020 award), she is gathering the ashes of career burnout to craft soft pop piano ballads, breaking free of others’ expectations.

YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S 16 YOU CAN’T WEAR THAT Yunn Chen

“You can’t wear that out” I asked what you mean “Your shoulders are on show And you’re only thirteen” Obeying as I was Still no clue what it meant I crept back up the stairs Threw on a dark cardigan As the sheltered years went by Dressing became fear “You mustn’t show too much, Men will get the wrong idea” What idea would they get Why this affects my style Was I some chattel to be beheld Empty land, fertile cow Now in my adult days I know Skin is just that - skin It would not be any way my fault Should my shoulders arouse sin And though I was taught my worth was tied To how little of me was seen I’m relieved at least that I was not Traded in for a dowry I think this age of kindness Can finally see how Our seeds can flower and fruit And we must start the sowing now Our collective is only as strong as the weakest of our linksIt’s not how our daughters dress But how we teach our sons to think Yunn is a singer-songwriter, poet and writer based in Melbourne, Australia.

YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S ASSORTED Angela McGinness 17

Angela McGinness is a Geelong based illustrator and graphic designer. She gets much of her inspiration from film, music, literature and nature, and is motivated by spite, noble acts, competitiveness and injustice. As such, her interests have converged into working for not-for-profits and doing arts based community workshops. Find her work on instagram @geraniumthief.

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YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S **** Michael Lye 19

Michael Lye is an Asian-Australian Artist based in Melbourne, Australia. Working in both the digital and traditional printmaking fields, his work discusses race, philosophical and scientific explorations through the use of playfully abstract and minimalistic formations. Either blissfully colourful or grotesquely visceral, Lye builds upon his own position as a multi-race artist to discuss the background stereotypes towards minorities in society, whilst focalising on generational displacement and its environmental impacts.

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Storytelling has been a part of our collective history for centuries. It is what allows us to emotionally connect with other human beings and learn from their experiences and challenges, perhaps even causing us to question our own deeply held beliefs and biases and change our behaviour and attitude.

What happened over the next few days changed my entire perspective on vulnerability and made me realise that there is immense strength and healing power in sharing one’s story. As people wrote to me with their own personal stories of grief and depression, some sharing their story for the very first time, I understood that my story had given them space to feel seen and heard. To feel less alone. To feel less burdened by the weight of a story untold and grief unreleased.

And each time I shared my story, my voice got stronger and I felt less fear and discomfort. The grief and pain of my losses would never completely disappear, but by harnessing that pain and giving it a new meaning, I was also healing my own wounds. From that day on, I have shared countless personal stories so that others may share theirs too - stories about colourism and my own experiences as a woman of colour; stories about burnout and the negative perceptions that many women face when they return to work after parental leave; stories about perfectionism and fear of failure. And in sharing my stories, I have been able to bring more awareness to a range of issues about which I am deeply passionate, including the magnitude of grief and suffering that accompanies early pregnancy loss and the need for workplace and governmental policy change.

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T wo years ago, I sat at my laptop, finger shaking as I contemplated pressing the ENTER button. I had just finished writing a deeply personal story about my pregnancy losses and their impact on my mental health – a story I knew needed to be told so that I could do my part in reducing the stigma that surrounds early pregnancy loss; a story I had written in my head and said out loud in the shower countless times before. There were times I thought I was ready to share my story, but each time I had pulled back, afraid of making myself so vulnerable. Afraid of what people might think. Afraid of Thisjudgment.timehowever, I leant in, took a deep breath and felt the button push down beneath my finger.

THE POWER OF ONE’S WORDS Niti Nadarajah

Your Stories Matter provides you with an opportunity to share your own stories

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of street harassment, an issue that is all too prevalent and yet often described only from a gendered perspective. By sharing your stories of street harassment as an intersectional form of harm, we can collectively work towards solutions that address the needs of many rather than the needs of some. We all have a multitude of stories within us. It’s natural to feel uncomfortable when sharing one’s stories. It’s normal to question if your stories even matter. It’s OK to feel scared of the potential ramifications of sharing your stories. I can tell you now though that your stories DO matter and that your stories are TheyPOWERFUL.arethebuilding blocks towards effective change. Let your voice be heard. And help empower others to share theirs too.

Niti is a coach, freelance general counsel and DEI advocate based in Melbourne with a passion for authentic and inclusive leadership. She believes that we are human first and that the titles we hold do not define us. She advocates for a range of issues such as gender and racial equity, was recently recognised as LinkedIn Top Voice for Gender Equity (Australia) and loves empowering other women to unleash their X-factor and use it to propel their careers forward. She is a founding member of Human Leaders, an angel investor in the US venture studio Nobody Studios, a Peer Support Companion for The Pink Elephants Support Network (an organisation that supports women who have experienced early pregnancy losses) and a Community Partner for White Ribbon Australia. She is also a mother of two little munchkins, loves reading, yoga, travel, good food and wine, and dancing up a storm.

YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S 6 WAYS YOU CAN HARASSMENTSTREETEXPERIENCEDWHOSOMEONESUPPORTHAS

When an important person in your life confides in you about a traumatic situation, providing support can sometimes be difficult. While it’s important to listen and give them space to share their experiences, you also don’t want to cross any boundaries or make them feel worse.

To help you be as supportive as possible, we’ve compiled six ways you can support a person in your life who has experienced street Beforeharassment.webegin, it’s important to acknowledge what street harassment is and how it can be different for each person. At It’s Not A Compliment, we define street harassment as any unwanted behaviour directed at someone by a stranger in a public space. This can include acts such as unwanted comments, whistling, leering, sexual and racist remarks, persistent requests for someone’s name or personal information, general intimidation, threats, stalking, indecent exposure or public masturbation, along with more physical acts of violence such as groping and sexual assault.

Often, street harassment involves more than sexism – it can also include racism, classism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism and other forms of structural oppression.

This is especially true when someone shares their experience of street harassment with you.

2. REMIND THEM THAT WHAT HAPPENED IS NOT THEIR FAULT In a world where victim-blaming is ingrained in society, it is easy to feel shame, guilt or to blame ourselves when we experience something traumatic. Many people ponder why catcalling happens, then blame the person who experienced it, rather than the perpetrator. Remind the important person in your life that what they experienced, what they feel, and their response to their street harassment experience are all valid and the experience was not their fault. Even if they already know this, reinforcing the message can help them shift their perspective and mindset.

Sometimes people want to share, vent and express their thoughts and feelings. Other times, they may want your advice on how they should approach or overcome a situation. When someone expresses that they want to share their experience of street harassment with you, ask them what kind of support that they would like from you - this can range from listening while they speak, to sharing your own experiences, to giving advice on how to handle similar situations in the future. Communication is key to ensuring a safe space for sharing stories, feelings and experiences.

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1. ASK THEM WHAT THEY NEED – FOR YOU TO LISTEN OR FOR YOUR ADVICE?

PERIODICALLY

After sharing their story, the important person in your life may feel better, or could possibly feel worse. It’s a good idea to check in with them periodically, and it’s up to you to gauge how often you should do so. A simple message like “Hey, how are you feeling?” or “Just checking in - here for support if you need!” can be great reminders for your important person that they are not alone.

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3. CHECK IN ON THEM

6. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF Check in with yourself. Supporting someone else through their trauma and street harassment experiences can be emotionally and mentally taxing. It is vital to honour your own boundaries and make them known to your loved ones. The important people in your life should understand that while you are willing to support them, you also must take care of yourself and fill up your own cup — whatever that looks like to you. At the end of the day, don’t overthink it. Show up for your loved ones, listen, and make your support for them clear. When we share our stories and experiences of street harassment, we spread awareness and make important strides to achieving street justice for all.

4. THANK THEM FOR SHARING THEIR STORY AND DON’T BREACH THEIR TRUST

5. ENCOURAGE THEM TO CHECK OUT ANTISTREET GROUPSORGANISATIONSHARASSMENTAND

For many people, it is difficult to share a traumatic experience. There is a level of trust that is established when stories about street harassment are shared. It’s a good idea to tell your important person that you appreciate them coming to you for support, and remind them that you will not share their experience with others without their permission.

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Social media, and the internet in general, are great ways to find a community that understands what being harassed in public feels and looks like. There are some amazing communities out there that focus on advocacy and creating a better world for all - check out our allies or learn more about our work at Additionally,INAC.inform your loved one that if they feel comfortable to do so, they can anonymously share their story with us and help contribute to the street justice fight by raising awareness. At INAC, the stories of our community are the foundation of our advocacy work.

PERSONHOOD Yasmin Elbouch

Waiting in the crowed crossing at Flinders Standing on the tram, Sitting on a bench Outside of the Cathedral Inside of Dymocks

Another statistic. But this fear, I have become accustomed to it, Or at least have tried to, Befriending this constant sense of vigilance just so I can ButExist.can I? How can I? And I ask because in this body I know that I simply cannot ThatExist.permission from me is silenced, overwritten, and determined from clothing, From my presentation, But what about my name? Does who I am not matter to you? I navigate this city with caution For it has treated me with callous, And I make a conscious decision to depersonalise, Because to experience my body through me leaves gaps in society’s perception. I WithoutExist,cannot coexisting with paranoia and surveillance. I keep glancing at myself through the train’s window to find solace in my reflection For he has been knocking on my door, Beating on its frame, Trying to turn the brass handle round, And in this moment a girl is estranged. For a girl is a channel of water that has become contained in the palm of your hand. Release her from your grasp and she will find a passage for herself through the gaps in your Shehandflows in private but stiffens walking through the train station. Walking through Bourke Street Down at Southbank Through the crevices of the laneways

Yasmin Elbouch is an emerging multidisciplinary artist creating on Wurundjeri lands. She is a thirdgeneration migrant, first generation Lebanese-Australian who uses mediums such poetry and film photography to encapsulate her lived experience of Melbourne. 26

I fear going up and down the escalators at Parliament Station With my back turned, guard down, an opening, a chance To be another escalator’s casualty

On the steps at H & M. This city was not made for me, but it is mine.

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YOU DON’T OWN ME Victoria McGinness 28

Victoria is a Naarm based, self-taught embroidery artist, who creates hand-stitched pieces with mostly found and second-hand materials to emphasise the importance of utilising the plethora resources on earth that we already have, before consuming new. She embroiders for a multitude of reasons - the soothing process, the manual nature of it and embroidery’s connection to the herstory of women and “women’s work”.

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Iam a bisexual, cis-gendered woman, and have predominantly been in lesbian romantic relationships. Over the course of this essay, I will most often use the word ‘lesbian’. I do this because I believe this term best encompasses my experience of the particular issues I am reflecting on. However, I do so while acknowledging that bi-erasure and biphobia continue to be important issues that we need to address. I also want to acknowledge that the terms I am using, ‘bisexual’, ‘lesbian’, and ‘gay’, as well as ‘women-loving-women’ (‘wlw’), have evolved in the queer community as inclusive terms that encompass and reflect our everchanging, complex identities.

FOR SHOW: HOW

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I have a confession. Before I was aware of my bisexuality, in my early adult years, I kissed my female friends for fun on nights out. This is, in fact, a confession, as it is the very thing I am about to critique. I do not live outside culture, the dominant culture shaped me too. Some might say in my case it was my sexuality in hiding, that it was a subconscious expression of my sexuality before I’d even realised. That may be partly true. But through deep self-reflection, I also know that I was extremely unhappy in myself, and had very low self-worth. The way that our society taught me to gain worth and validation was through external male attention and desire. I say this in the context of kissing a girl because this performative idea of lesbianism is completely constructed for the male gaze, and its ramifications for lesbians are vast. When I discovered my bisexuality, had my own experiences living outside of the dominant, heterosexual culture, and became an active part of the LGBTQI community, I was deeply ashamed of my previous behaviour. I began to see the issues with these actions, the actions that straight women participate in, or sometimes are pressured into, and which straight men encourage. I saw the harm that it can cause. I was ashamed, for a long time, but I have worked to try and let that shame go, so I can move forward.

NOT THE SEXUALISATION OF LESBIANS IN MEDIA AND SOCIETY AFFECTS STREET TOWARDSHARASSMENTLESBIANS Marisa Lo Bartolo

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You might be thinking, what is wrong with girls kissing their friends in a club on a night out with men cheering around them? So many people do it, it’s just a bit of fun. In recent years, it has even extended outside the walls of the club, and into the technological realm of social media. The problem is that it reinforces the idea that lesbian sexuality and lesbian relationships exist to please the male gaze. In this context, lesbianism is a performance that women can jump in and out of, for their own external validation, or for the sake of their fun, and for the pleasure of male voyeurs. We might not even know that we are being ‘taught’ these ideas, but just look at any kind of media and you will find the Friendslesson. is one of my go-to shows. I have it on all the time. My girlfriend and I bonded over it in the beginning of our relationship, and we still do (I’m a Monica and she is a Chandler, which means we’re meant to be). While I love it, the show has definitely not aged well. Some of the main ways it lesbians,representsand the lessons it teaches us about lesbians, are that we are the butt of the joke, or we exist for men’s pleasure. There are the homophobic jokes that emasculate Ross anytime his ex-wife Carol is mentioned, because she fell in love with a woman. There are ones that say it’s weird for Ross’ son, Ben, when his two mums kiss. And finally, any chance Joey gets, there is a mention of how hot lesbians are. Lesbians are Joey’s dream! And this is presented in a way that is totally acceptable. We can say, ‘that was the 90’s and things have changed’, but for the most part, I am not convinced. Take any other sitcom and I’m sure you’ll find the same lesson. I remember re-watching New Girl, and being disappointed at Schmidt’s excitement over lesbians. I can almost guarantee the lesson is in How I Met Your Mother, a show I loved as a teenager. And in a recent film aimed directly at teenagers, at the end of The Kissing Booth, the rolling credits show a beach party, with four guys around two sitting girls. The girls start kissing and the boys are goggling at them and cheering, with one of them recording it. When the girls stop, they simply chuckle at each other. The camera shows the boy filming the two girls for a really long time, completely normalising the situation. This ‘normal’ situation is a lesbianism accepted by straight people, as it does not challenge them, and they do not feel the theretime,multipleexperiencedandaroundofupkissinggaynightreallessonsHererepercussions.real-worldiswhattheselooklikeinlife.I’monaout,notinabar,andIstartagirl.Welooktoseeacrowdunknownmenus,gogglingcheering.Ihavethistimes.OneIlookedup,andwas,infact, a camera in our faces. One time, I was dancing with my girlfriend, and we were cat called and shouted at by men, as if we were performing for them. This was only last year, when I was older, and I had the confidence, but also felt safe enough, to go up to the men and tell them to stop. It’s not always the case that we can fight back, but when we can, I act. The lessons are not just in light-hearted shows. In two more serious shows that I’ve been watching lately, Ozark and Good Girls, the lesson was there as well, with the level of sexualisation intensified. It was the We look up to see a crowd of unknown men around us, goggling ourfact,andtime,cheering...One&Ilookedup,therewas,inacamerainfaces.

allchallengebecausepersonhood.whatonecateringforofwithwomenturnremovingThesemisogynybetweenatexperiences,lessons,homophobia.mediathatButorfarrepresentationsaslesbophobic,moreinhomophobic,bedescribedWhatlesbians.Ihavemayconsideredorthiscasetobespecific,thesearefrompositive,evenaccurate.thelessonswelearnfromaremorethanTheseandtheseexisttheintersectionsexism,andhomophobia/lesbophobia.representationsobjectifywomen,allsenseofpersonhood.Theyhumanintoobject,whichmeansarenotseenasfullhumanbeings,lives,feelings,desiresorexperiencestheirown.Itputslesbiansonshow,thebenefitofmen,unproblematicallytothemalegaze.Thereisnotwordtoadequatelyencompassallofthisexperienceis.ItisviolationofourItisbecausewearegay,andwearewomen,andbecausewetheheterosexualman’sideathatwomenaresexuallyavailabletohim.

The most terrifying experience of lesbophobic and misogynistic street harassment I have had was with my girlfriend. We were celebrating our oneyear anniversary by going camping. We had arrived at a hiking spot, and when we parked, we kissed. There was a group of five men, younger than us, who were in their car, staring at us. They didn’t move, they were just laughing in their car, and one of them had their camera out. We stayed in the car as they started to drive off, passing dangerously and intimidatingly close to us. They did a burnout before revving their engine and leaving. This gave us a huge fright, and we did not feel safe. It was getting dark and we decided to drive back to our cabin. We decided to stop at a lookout, and the men’s car had gotten behind us. They had found a spot to stop and wait for us, so they could follow us. We went back to the campsite, very frightened. We reported it and tried to go for a walk to enjoy the rest of the night. We couldn’t, we were anxious and scared. We did see them again at their campsite, but they didn’t see us. This made us feel better to know where they were. We locked the doors of our cabin probably ten times over, and neither of us slept well that night. While we left that campsite scared, we were relatively okay. I cannot say this is the case for all women who experience this. There was a situation in London, only three years ago, where a lesbian couple were harassed by a group of young men while on a bus. The men started shouting aggressive and sexualised comments at them. The men told the women that they should kiss so the men could watch. When the women refused, the men physically attacked them, The men told the women that they should kiss so the men could watch. When the women refused, the men

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same situation, in strip clubs, where girls were dancing on each other and kissing on stage, for their male clientele. In more explicit media, there are whole pornography categories dedicated to the male fantasy of what lesbianism means which is far from realistic. Sexualised lingerie ads with women almost kissing are plastered over shopping centres. And we cannot forget music videos, the most recent example that I can think of being WAP. WAP had people divided for many reasons, but I didn’t hear any commentary on the way that Megan and Cardi dancing on each other might have bigger effects on the lives of everyday

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with their injuries needing medical attention. This hate crime is a clear example of male entitlement over women in public spaces, and the violence that we face if we stand up to Thesethem.experiences and these stories have made me, and I am sure many other women loving-women, hyper vigilant most of the time we are on the street. We have the places that we know are safe, but anywhere new, we are on alert. We stop holding hands when we’re in the street, out of fear of unwanted attention. Even in a progressive country like Australia, we remain constantly alert. Our previous experiences solidify our fear, and their repetitive nature makes them commonplace. I don’t know if straight people have to think about this, and they certainly don’t think about it when they engage in behaviour that contributes to the issue. Whether it’s women through ignorant or pressured behaviour, or men with their entitlement over the consumption of our bodies, heterosexual people don’t feel any repercussions of their actions. And society, with all its forms of media, continues to tell us that this is completely acceptable. That it is acceptable for men to sexualise, objectify, harass, endanger and be violent toward women. I’ve spent so much time pondering possible solutions. With the omnipresence of media and technology reiterating negative lessons, it seems like an overwhelming and impossible task. But I hope that allies can open their mind and learn from our Iexperiences.hopetheycan reflect on their own actions, whether they have participated in this type of behaviour, or been a bystander. Or even reflect on the fact that maybe they’ve never even thought about how this issue exists. Allies can continue to learn about our community, our history, and consume content created by queer people. We are the best tellers of our stories, and we are the ones best suited to represent ourselves. And I think importantly, men need to

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My name is Marisa, I am 26 years old. I live in Naarm/Melbourne and have for 8 years now. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Gender Studies and a Graduate Certificate of Domestic and Family Violence. I am extremely passionate about the prevention of all violence against women. I live with my girlfriend and my dog, Clover. engage. Men were present every time I did not feel safe in these situations. Men are the ones who benefit from this, and face no repercussions. Whether it’s ignorance or entitlement, men just go on with their lives and enjoy the world. If lesbians are going to feel safer in public spaces, men need to be held accountable and start changing their actions, to stop engaging in behaviour that harms us. As I reflect, I think about how many of my lesbian friends have their own stories of being harassed in public spaces. It seems to be, unfortunately, part of a lesbian experience. But a lesbian experience is one that can be so special, real, beautiful and unique, and I do not want sexualisation and harassment from men to be an inevitable part of it. We exist, we are valid, and we are not here for anyone but ourselves.

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“Hey - you reckon that Roxy chick takes it up the arse?!” He had directed the question to his snickering friend next to him, but almost shouted it to make sure my mum and I could hear. I immediately felt my stomach drop and my face burn red with embarrassment. There was no doubt who that was directed to. My mum turned around to say something, but I yanked her arm back to stop her. I was equal parts humiliated and terrified of what would happen if they were provoked.

Aside from regular Westfield hangs, I would end up having a string of casual retail jobs at the same shopping centre, so I knew the layout of the centre well. There were no nearby toilets or exits. We had to endure the walk to Just Jeans and pretend like nothing happened. As we hurried inside the store, I caught a glance of the men as they strode past us, still snickering to each other. They weren’t teenagers as I suspected, but far older than me. Grown men who relished in the humiliation and sexualisation of a teenager in a shopping centre. I had barely had my first kiss and this man was asking me…about my preference for butt Onstuff?the car ride home, my mum gently tried to confront the topic with me. Should she make a formal complaint to security? ROXYFAVOURITEMYPOLO Mimieux

Emmy

WHAT WAS I WEARING?

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I was fourteen when my mother discovered I knew what anal sex was. Or rather, as the twenty-year-old man behind me had so eloquently put it, what ‘taking it up the arse’ meant. I don’t think explaining anal sex is covered in any parenting manual, and certainly not something my mum woke up that morning thinking she would need to delicately unpack with me. We were walking the thoroughfare of my local shopping centre, a safehaven and local hangout for fellow teenagers. We all wore the same bootcut, low-rise jeans, with thick strands of hair purposely teased from our tight ponytails that framed our baby faces (hey, it was the 00s). But that day, when I was walking with mum to try on the coolest new trend at Just Jeans (bootcut with TURQUOISE stitching, the epitome of fashion), I had on my new favourite top - a fetching mustard-coloured polo with “ROXY” blazoned on the back in white Justlettering.asIclocked the poster of the Just Jeans model wearing my sought-after turquoise jeans, I heard a booming voice call out behind me.

Please, no. I don’t want to explain what happened to a stuffy middle-aged man. Did she need to explain what they said to God,me? no. Was I I…Yes.sure?sawalook

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of what I took as relief and despair flash across her face. Relief that she wouldn’t have to explain anal sex to her fourteen-year-old daughter. Despair that her hand was forced to explain it at all, or maybe that her daughter knew what ‘taking up the arse’ was. Later that night, turquoise jeans in hand, I stripped off and stuffed my favourite Roxy polo into the back of my cupboard, never to be worn again.

Now, at dinner parties, when I retell this story an example of the harassment faced by young girls and non-binary people in Melbourne, I’m still asked the age-old question: ‘but what were you wearing?’ As if I, a fourteen-year-old girl, could somehow signal to a man through my dress to PLEASE ask me about butt stuff in front of my mum at a shopping centre. But I tell them with confidence - my favourite Roxy polo that I never wore again.

Emmy is a writer, lawyer, new mum, and pasta aficionado. When she’s not pumping between zoom court hearings, you can find her musings on twitter about feminism, politics, and shit people at @EmmyMimieux 34

YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S UNTITLED Aakanksha Manjunath 35

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YOUR STORIES MATTER COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S RACISM AND ASIANAGAINSTHARASSMENTRACIALASIAN/AUSTRALIANS IS ALARMING Erin Wen Ai Chew ( CoFounder and National Convener for the ASIAN AUSTRALIAN ALLIANCE) 37

OverTotold“Chinaman”derogatorilygoldBritish/Irish/AnglomurderedattackedgettingandminersChineseaccountsareothered.racismfacedBothbusinesses.groupsintenseandwereTheredocumentedofgoldinNSWVictorialynched,andbyminersandcalledandto“GoBackChina”.acenturylater in the year 2020, we see a repeat of this situation for the COVID-19 pandemic, where Asians in Australia have been subjected to racist vitriol and being blamed for the pandemic. At the start of 2020, Australians were urged by the media to avoid Chinatowns, and shopping areas where there is a high concentration of Asians. As a response to this rise of racism, the Asian Australian Alliance in collaboration with progressive Australian Think Tank Per Capita launched the “COVID-19 Racism Incident Report Survey” on April 2nd, 2020, which is the first survey of its kind in Australia to capture and collect data on incidents of COVID-19 related racism against Asians in Australia. To date, the survey has collected 800 reports of COVID-19 racism. The collection of this data on individual experiences has cumulatively shown that there has been a clear pattern of racist attacks against Asians and Asian Australians as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic and that they are not isolated Videosincidents.have emerged in the media over the past few years of Asian/Asian Austraians being physically attacked brutally, spat on and verbally harassed in public spaces like shopping centres and on the street - and these are only the reported ones. One would question how many reports of anti-Asian racism have happened which constitutes onincidentsthatSurvey”Incident“COVID-19reportsTheremainharassmentstreetwhichun-reported.majorityofthereceivedinourRacismReportshowed27%ofracisthappenedapublicstreet or sidewalk and almost 16% of racist incidents happened in public spaces like a shopping centre or supermarket. This is alarming as it shows that the anti-Asian is of the lowest casual nature, with Asian/ Asian Australians experiencing verbal harassment ( this made up almost 58% of all reported incidents), whilst walking to their destination or just taking a casual Aroundwalk.

A nti-Asian hate in Australia did not just start when the COVID-19 pandemic started at the end of 2019 to the start of 2020. It has been happening since the first Asians (Chinese) came to Australia during the mid 1800s with the Gold Rush in Australia. At around the same time, Sikh Punjabi laborers were also living in Australia with many of them starting pineapple and fruit farms in areas like regional Queensland and New South Wales. Both groups of Asians were successful in what they came to Australia to do - the Chinese worked as a collective to set up Chinatowns across the country and mined more gold than the British/ Irish/Anglo gold miners, and the Sikh Punjabis set up successful fruit harvesting

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62% of reports into our “COVID-19 Racism Incident Report Survey” identified themselves as female and what is concerning about this statistic is that this makes up the overwhelming majority Videos inverballybrutally,physicallyAustraiansAsian/Asianemerged...ofhavebeingattackedspaton&harassedpublicspaces...

COMPLIMENTANOTIT’S of incidents and it begs the question as to why Asian/Asian Australian females are the primary target. An answer to this question is that Asian women are subjected to negative stereotypes perpetuated by Hollywood and the Australian/Western media over decades that they are weak, meek, obedient and are easier targets for attacks. There is also a history of sexual racism which Asian women are subjected to. What can be done to curb the racial harassment of Asian/Asian Australians in public spaces? Where racism can’t ever be eliminated, education via bystander intervention training, teacher training for schools, TAFEs, colleges and universities is required. Only through education and awareness training can Australians of all creeds and backgrounds start to understand the damage, hurt and trauma that racism and racial harassment causes.

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Erin Wen Ai Chew is a social entrepreneur, freelance writer and social activist focusing on issues impacting on the Asian diaspora. Erin founded the Asian Australian Alliance back in 2013 as a way to include the Asian Australian voice in the mainstream and create a platform for change. Currently, her organisation is running an Australian wide COVID-19 Racism Incident survey, which has garnered close to 500 responses thus far in Australia. More recently, the Asian Australian Alliance are the architects for the #stopasianhate Australian campaign which is a collaboration with GoFundMe Australia.

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OUTSIDER Dorothy Sam Where do I belong? Where am I supposed to go? I was born in a place that sees me as foe. Growing up I tried to break free, yet the price to fit in was to reject my identity. I didn’t understand why my parents were different, why they forced me to do things that other children didn’t. ‘It’s the best for me,’ a sentence I heard again and engrainedagain into my brain forcing me to try harder unable to accept failure. My friends didn’t understand why I cried being a top student for in my parent’s eyes I was not. The stereotypes of my race kept chasing after me, I rebelled and rebelled just to belong. Asian whyTheytheatIgoody-two-shoes,nerd,rejectedtheselabelstheexpenseofhurtingoneswhocaredthemost.couldn’tunderstandIdidn’twanttobetheirperfect child anymore, why was I letting them down? I loved and hurt at the same time because I knew they poured their love through moulding me as a success but that wasn’t the love I wanted.

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Did I deserve love? Was I considered beautiful? Then how come I felt like an Asian girl like me was not special? In literature and movies I struggled to feel seen it seemed like only certain people were allowed to be story leads. Sometimes at night I’d wonder why the colour of my skin wasn’t white. I came to find others just like me, I learnt to embrace the history behind my skin. To be able to come to terms with not being neither nor, but an in between, the labels no longer define me. I define myself and that is all IWhatneed.is growing up? Growing up is accepting that I was hurt from being an outsider I was frustrated from the cultural gaps in my family I was aboutinsecurenotfeeling conventionally pretty and that I was allowed to feel that way. Growing up is realising that no one should need to feel like this and that we can do better. I wrote this piece in hopes that those with similar experiences could find some solace. Whilst it’s good to fight for social justice and spearhead change, I think it’s also important to look within and validate the feelings we had during difficult times. It’s never easy to reconcile the hurt we experienced and continue to experience. There were times in the past where I carried more anger and blame than I would like. But I am in a better place now, and I only hope the same for everyone else.

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I was raised a Fundamentalist Christian with tight control over appearance, language and behaviour. Being a “good” fundamentalist girl, child and woman* can be exhausting and demeaning behind closed doors. Before we even step outside, we’re used to our appearance being scrutinised to determine if it’s acceptable. When we step into the street, we encounter humiliation and harassment from ‘ordinary’ people. We can’t win – no matter how we appear – someone Is judging. I’ve experienced staring, snide comments and pointing at our long dresses, head coverings and stockings. I’ve had people laugh at me exercising/brisk walking in a dress with runners and had obscenities yelled out of car windows about my appearance and religious/cultural beliefs. Street harassment works to humiliate, intimidate and keep us in ‘our place’ – outside of mainstream and silenced. Street harassment is an instrument of racism, classism and misogyny, and is an agent of white supremacy and cultural control. Get a new hobby, ‘ya creeps – one that isn’t rooted in control. Girls inside Fundamentalism are tightly controlled and taught skills that are considered’ feminine’ and useful for a life in the home – such as sewing and embroidery. I use those skills subversively to draw attention to the experiences of women outside mainstream. *as a CIS HET woman, I acknowledge I’m able to access privileges not afforded others. For example, now as an adult outside Fundamentalism, I can ‘pass’ as a nicewhite-lady.

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LITERALLY NEVER Laura McConnell Conti

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