Island Parent Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 31 Years
January 2019
What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting
Winter Programs
❆ Baby It’s Cold Outside! ❆
Curiosity • Diversity Exploration • Nature Play-Oriented Learning
Half Day & Full Day Early Learning Programs
TOYS • BOOKS • CLOTHING • SHOES • STROLLERS • CAR SEATS SLEEP AIDS • FURNITURE • SKINCARE • DIAPER BAGS
3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC 1581 Hillside Ave, Victoria 778•265•5651 Across the street from Hillside Centre
SHOP ONLINE AT MOMEASE.CA!
250-477-3731 arbutusgrove.ca
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Apply now Grades 6-12
INFORMATION SESSION
February 7, 2019 6:30-7:30 p.m.
UNLOCK YOUR POTENTIAL
Premier IB World School Day & Boarding School International opportunities within our global family of schools.
#BeBrookes
www.westshore.brookes.org admissions@westshore.brookes.org 1939 Sooke Rd, Victoria, BC
Words have a huge impact… What will yours be?
One word can change someone’s entire day.
3873 Swan Lake Road, Victoria, B.C. Canada, V8X 3W1 | www.swanlake.bc.ca | 250-479-0211
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January 2019 3
TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S
Features 10
Take Care of Your Finances, Take Care of Your Family Steps to help accomplish your family’s 2019 financial goals.
18
Inclusion
It’s complicated, sure. But it’s vital to all kids. YVONNE BLOMER
22
LINDSAY PLUMB
Winter Programs
Dance. Music. Gymnastics. Fitness. Fun. Something for everyone.
26
16
Being Mindful
Why mindfulness matters and how we can incorporate it in the classroom and at home.
10
KELLY CLEEVE
34
The Tooth Fairy is Only Human
What happens when the tooth—and the fairy—are MIA?
16
SARAH SEITZ
What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting
36
Challenging our expectations of motherhood.
18
KATE BORSATO
Winter Camping
Put a seasonal spin on a summer pastime.
36
In Every Issue 42
48
Nature Notes
Creating community and a sense of place in our kids. KIRSTEN DALLIMORE
46
44
Family Services Directory
5
25
Editor’s Note
Party Directory
SUE FAST
28
6
Family Calendar
15
Cooking With Kids
Need to Know
Sure, step it up a notch in the New Year, but be realistic when it comes to raising kids. GREG PRATT
Brrr-ave the New Year with a Polar Bear Swim. SERENA BECK
On the Island Parent Cover Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 31 Years
January 2019
What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting
Winter Programs
4 Island Parent Magazine
Ways to help manage symptoms of Perinatal Depression and Anxiety. HILARY PLANDEN
52
Maternity & Beyond
How can we prepare our children for the world they’ll be facing, while also protecting their childhoods?
54
EMILLIE PARRISH
Cut It Out!
40
Book Nook
What to read when it’s raining cats and dogs.
50
Healthy Families, Happy Families
LAURA TRUNKEY
Carrying on the pierogy tradition.
CHRISTINA VAN STARKENBURG
instagram.com/ cloe.thomson
Is There an App for This?
38
Dadspeak
Photo by Cloe Thomson
46
Preschool & Child Care Directory
38
Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Linda Frear Office Manager & Sales sales@islandparent.ca RaeLeigh Buchanan Advertising Consultant raeleigh@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included). Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.
Have you ever noticed how differently children act when they have you all to themselves? A case for uninterrupted time, one-on-one. ALLISON REES
Island Parent Magazine 830–A Pembroke St Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca
IslandParent.ca
Parenting Resolutions Smile when your child enters the room. Simple advice, from a wise friend, that yields amazing results. Rather than being critical or questioning our children, smiling at them sets an entirely different mood, one that’s much more conducive to conversation and connection. Trust your instincts. Resist one-size-fits-all parenting advice and trust your gut instead.
Eat dinner together. Better yet, cook it that way, too. Not only does eating together lead to better eating habits, but it nourishes our minds and spirits, too. Always give your kids the benefit of the doubt. Be their ally. Let them know you believe in them and show them that what they feel, say, think and do matters.
Spend time with people who love spending time with their children— and yours. Create a community that celebrates and supports the important job of raising kids. And then invite others in. Share meals, outings, babysitting, rides, resources, wisdom, laughter, tears, expertise, feelings, worries, ideas, and camping trips, among other things.
Sue Fast Editor’s Note
Count your blessings: your kids, whoever is helping you raise them, Put down your phone. Be where your friends, your family, food on the you are. Talk (and text) less; listen table, a bed to sleep in. Take time to conmore. sider all you’re grateful for: from the quiet in the morning before everyone wakes up Spend one-on-one time with to the feeling of your child’s hand in yours. each child. Whether you have four children or one. It’s not Play with your kids more. Not as easy as it sounds, but it’s only does it lower stress—yours worthwhile. You’ll see—or and theirs—but it is also unleashes be reminded of—a side of kids’ creativity while helping develop your kids that you might their imagination, dexterity, and physical, otherwise miss. cognitive, and emotional strength. Better still is playing together outside in nature.
Appreciate the moments. Even on the most crazy days, there are highlights: when all the packed lunches end up with the right kid, at the right school; when you get a shower and, bonus, five extra minutes to sit with your kids at breakfast. Celebrate the small stuff. And slow down enough to enjoy the time you have together. Here’s to appreciating and enjoying every moment of 2019. Happy New Year.
Creating beautiful smiles New patients always welcome Call or email us today and our dental team would be happy to assist you with an appointment
Westshore Dental Centre
Mon – Thurs: 7:30 am – 7:30 pm Fri: 7:30 am – 5:00 pm Sat: 9:00 am – 5:00 pm
152 – 2945 Jacklin Road • 250-474-2296 • www.westshoredental.com IslandParent.ca
January 2019 5
NEEDTOKNOW
Bleiddyn del Villar Bellis Artistic Director Fellow & Examiner CSC-CICB Enrico Cecchetti Final Diploma
VAB offers a FREE weekly dance class for boys 7-11. Now in it’s 3rd year, BOYS CAN DANCE is a positive way for boys to get interested in dance!
Photo credit: David Cooper
FREE Class: Boys Can Dance!
Now - June 2019 Still accepting registration! 250-590-6752 admin@victoriaacademyofballet.ca victoriaacademyofballet.ca
ARE YOU New to the community? A new parent? A new business owner?
CONTACT WELCOME WAGON TODAY!
Letter Writing Week at Royal BC Museum Help revive the lost art of letter writing. Stop by Royal BC Museum’s letter writing station from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. during Universal Letter Writing Week from January 2–8 and sit down to pen a note. The New Year is a great time to make a resolution to slow down and what better way to do that than to put away your smartphone, sit down and write a letter at the letter writing booth. RBCM will provide the paper, pens, envelopes and even stamps—no parcels to South Africa please! Who knows, the letter you write could one day become part of RBCM’s future archives. For more information, visit royalbcmuseum.bc.ca.
ABCs for New Parents ABCs for New Parents will guide you on what you can do, right from the start, to raise your child to be socially and emotionally healthy. And the impact can last a lifetime. It is for all parents and caregivers, and for those who support them. Social and emotional development is key to a child’s health and happiness. A secure early relationship with a loving—and responsive—caregiver puts babies and toddlers on the path for lifelong mental, emotional and physical health, and lifelong learning. To see a digital version of the book, visit /kidcarecanada.org.
Nanaimo 250-756-9794 welcometonanaimo@shaw.ca Or online at: welcomewagon.ca
6 Island Parent Magazine
IslandParent.ca
Humeira Studios • Counselling Services: Individual & Groups
Share Some Warmth with Big Brothers Big Sisters It’s time to clean out your closet and help Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) of Victoria help children and youth in communities from Sooke to Salt Spring. BBBS’s mentoring programs support youth in reaching their full potential. Generous donors help BBBS to reach its goals—your donations are needed. Please consider giving your time, your financial support and your re-usable clothing and linens. Each of these gifts moves BBBS closer to reaching their goal of providing a mentor for every child who needs one. Mentoring fosters confidence and self-esteem, and as a result youth who have been mentored are less likely to allow themselves to be victimized or bullied by their peers. Mentored youth simply do better. Drop off your clothing donations at the main office at 230 Bay Street (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm), Tillicum Mall parking lot outside Old Navy (Mon-Fri, 8:30am-6pm, and Sat and Sun, 9:30am-5pm), at Value Village at 1810 Store Street (10am-9pm), or call to arrange a free pick up at 250-385-7226. For more information, visit bbbsvictoria.com.
• Day Camps: Pro-D days • Life Skills Training • Open Art Studio • Blissful Relaxation Program
Professional referrals required 250-889-1863 humeirastudio@gmail.com www.humeirastudios.com
Wensley Family Realtors® Trusted from Generation to Generation
SUPERPOWER YOUR SCHOOL Every year, Staples awards 10 schools across Canada with $20,000 in new technology each. Given the speed of technological advancements, the age of equipment in many Canadian schools is outdated. This is where Staples Canada’s contest can help. Staples and Earth Day Canada have teamed up to provide publicly-funded schools the chance to win $20,000-worth of new technology, giving students the opportunity to learn, discover and enhance their education through leading-edge technology. Through the Staples Superpower Your School Contest, a total of 10 prizes (each for $20,000-worth of tech products) are up for grabs. To win, Elementary and secondary schools in Canada, both public and private, are eligible to participate. To enter the contest, complete the entry form and explain your school’s innovative environmental efforts. Maintaining a sustainable green house, creating planting areas in local parks and building a Geodome are just some of the projects that helped previous winning schools stand out. To help schools prepare their entries, Staples has assembled a series of resources, including excerpts from the 2018 winning school entries, a stepby-step entry guide and a list of frenquently asked questions. For links, visit staples.ca/powereco. Applications will be accepted until January 31.
IslandParent.ca
For a fresh approach to your Real Estate needs, contact me today!
Paula Wensley
Office: 250-388-5882 Cell: 778-678-7387 Pwensley@macrealty.com Paulawensley.com
January 2019 7
The Freya-Sophia Waldorf Store
NATURAL CHILDHOOD
Beautiful selection of books, organic wool clothing, wooden toys, silks, dolls, cards, prints, painting and handwork supplies. STEINER BOOKSTORE: Extensive Selection of Inspiring Books and Resources for Children, Parents, Teachers, Carers and Homeschoolers 250-597-4763 Located in the Sol-Centre, 5380 Hwy 1, Duncan Hours: Monday – Saturday 10 – 3; Closed Sundays. Find us on Facebook@freyasophiawaldorfstore – Follow us on Instagram
Saanich Schools (SD63) Kindergarten Information Evening for Fall 2019 January 23, 2019 Please join us for an evening of information about SD63 Kindergarten programs. January 23, 2019 7 - 8:30 pm ḰELSET Elementary 1800 Forest Park Drive, North Saanich, V8L 4B8
Kindergarten Registration for Fall 2019
January 28— February 1, 2019
All Children born in 2014 are eligible to register for Full Day Kindergarten at your neighbourhood school. Register January 28 - February 1, 2019 at your neighbourhood school. Brentwood Elementary Cordova Bay Elementary Deep Cove Elementary
Keating Elementary
ḰELSET Elementary
Lochside Elementary
French Immersion registrations:
Deep Cove Elementary (North Zone) Keating Elementary (South & Central Zone)
To register at your neighbourhood school please bring: Proof of your address (resident driver’s license, utility bill, etc). Proof of your child’s age (birth certificate). Your child’s BC Care Card. After February 1, all K-5 registrations will be done at:
Saanich School Board Office 2125 Keating Cross Road, Saanichton 8am to 4pm
8 Island Parent Magazine
Prospect Lake Elementary Sidney Elementary
100x5 1000 Books by Age Five Children’s Book Recycling Project
In your home, how many baby and preschooler books sit on shelves, tables and under the bed? More than 50? 100? How many times have you read the same story to your little one? More than 10? 25? 50? 1000X5 Children’s Book Recycling Project is changing that reality, one book at a time. Families at most elementary schools in Victoria, Saanich, and Sooke School districts donate gently used picture books for babies and preschoolers. Retired teachers and administrators donate time to sort, label, and gift bag those books. The gift bags are delivered to Strong Start Centres and community agencies where families monthly take home three quality books for each child. January 27 is National Literacy Day. Enjoy a book with your child. Make a difference to another child. Take a few picture books for babies and preschoolers to your nearest elementary school. Visit 1000x5.ca for information or to make a charitable donation. Contacts: Eileen Eby in Victoria School District at eileeneby@shaw.ca, Daphne Macnaughton in Saanich School District at dlmvictoria@shaw.ca, or Denise Brown in Sooke School District at leahybrown@shaw.ca.
IslandParent.ca
Parenting the Newborn Many parents feel that they want more information on baby care and breastfeeding than fit into most childbirth preparation courses. So Mothering Touch also offers a Parenting The Newborn course, taught by experienced childbirth and breastfeeding educators and postpartum doulas, to help parents-to-be feel confident in caring for their new babies. Mothering Touch approaches the issue of baby care from the perspective of the baby. What does this little mammal need from us? How can we meet those needs? How can we enjoy our baby and develop a connection? The classes look in depth at breastfeeding and what we can do to facilitate good practices from the very beginning. The three consecutive Thursday evening workshops (7-9pm) with three different sessions in January. The classes run at Mothering Touch Centre, 975 Fort Street. For information visit motheringtouch.ca.
Vancouver Island Regional Library’s (VIRL) new
website makes accessing resources a more intuitive and discoverable experience for library users. The site, which officially launched in November, offers a design that is optimized for all mobile devices, incorporates a robust and detailed events calendar, contains continually updated and refreshed recommendations for customers, and presents VIRL’s diverse resources with a user-focused menu structure. Some of the features of the new site include: it’s mobile-optimized, high-resolution, streamlined search function, ability to filter by branch, or across the system, reader’s advisory carousels to help access resources in the catalogue, and user-focused design that pushes collections and resources to the forefront. Check out the changes at virl.bc.ca. IslandParent.ca
The Library’s Toy Collection
G
reater Victoria Public Library’s toy collection offers a box full of fun—everything from giant foam blocks to talking brix—to support a child’s learning journey. The Skill Builders Adaptive Toy collection provides families with young children who have cognitive, physical, sensory, or communicative challenges with the opportunity to borrow adaptive and accessible toys from the public library. The collection was developed with the assistance of the Island Health, Early Intervention Program located at the Queen Alexandra Centre for Children’s Health. There is an array of mainstream and specialty toys, all sourced locally or from Canadian distributors. Each of the more than 70 toy boxes contains three to five toys, a fidget sensory and self-regulation toy, a book or CD, and an activity sheet with information and ideas on how to use the toys, as well as resources for parents who may have developmental concerns about their child. The boxes come in three sizes, the smallest size is the same as GVPL’s Stories to Go Boxes. To find a list of the available boxes, search the GVPL catalogue using the term “skill builders” or view a complete list of toys with pictures at gvpl.ca/skillbuilders GVPL patrons can borrow one box per adult card for 21 days (14 days with holds). Greater Victoria Public Library aims to inspire literacy, lifelong learning and community enrichment for all. GVPL provides services and collections in 10 libraries and online at gvpl.ca to more than 300,000 residents in 10 municipalities. January 2019 9
Take Care of Your Finances, Take Care of Your Family
free accounts (all institutions offer them). Open one new account for each goal and rename it to be specific to the goal. Then pick a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly amount to automatically transfer from your main account to your new goal account(s) (this works best if you choose pay day for the transfers). If your goal is to cross something important off your to-do list, first make some quick calls to learn how much it will cost. Next, follow the steps above So if it’s really that simple, then why does to save the money required, if necessary. it seems so difficult? Because much of what And finally, book an appointment with we might have been taught about money the financial planner/lawyer/other for the in our younger years is now outdated and week immediately following your savings achievement. unrealistic. For example, the age old budget tip of using cash is easier said than done nowadays because most people are paid electronically. However, the KISS principle will always be relevant. And there is no better time than now to make those simple choices and take the quick actions.
Accomplish your family’s financial goals in 2019
Y
ear after year we say the same thing, “next year will be different”. We make new year’s resolutions to reduce our spending, we rant about how much we spent on Christmas presents to our spouse, and we pledge to cross off things like life insurance from our to-do list once and for all. And then what? We get busy with kids, unexpected expenses come up, and we simply just forget. We turn over the calendar one more time only to be in the same place as we were the last year.
But not this time! Nope, this time we will shout from the rooftops (rather share on social media that is) that this next year will be different and we will follow through to make it a reality. Luckily, to be great with your money is not about jargon-filled charts and graphs or complex investment strategies. Being great with your money comes down to simple choices and quick actions. 10 Island Parent Magazine
Lindsay Plumb
When you take care of your finances you take care of your family. This isn’t about money or superficial desires it’s about something much more important. By taking small steps you are laying the groundwork for bigger achievements in the future, because this simple plan works for any sized goal. Maybe this year its saving for Christmas but next year you’ll have the confidence to save for a dream vacation or investment property. Even the most successful and prosperous folks started small. They tried, they learned, and they grew. They are not smarter or more deserving, but rather just better practiced at making decisions and taking actions. Starting to develop this skill as early as childhood years can have a compound impact, so share this with your kids and help them to save for their goals along with you. Imagine what they could achieve? Save for toys, a car, university, a house… 2019 can be a year of growth and achievement for your family with just a few simple 1. Decide what you want. Knowing where you are going is the choices and actions. Happy New Year! first step to planning your journey. Keep it simple with a list of 2-3 financial achievements you desire. Lindsay Plumb is a financial coach and founder of MOOLA Financial. She’s running 2. Take action. a free five-day budget makeover starting If your goal is to save money for next January 21, sign up here prettymoneyclub.com/ Christmas or something else spendingbudgetmakeover. related, go to your bank’s website, find the IslandParent.ca
Mothering Touch is so much more than a store! It’s the place for new and expectant parents. The Mothering Touch Centre is an owner-operated, family-run enterprise in Victoria BC. Our mission is to provide prenatal and postnatal support, classes and information to new and expectant parents. We started out in 2004 in a tiny little storefront at the Oak Bay junction. We moved downtown to a much more spacious and convenient premises on Fort Street in 2008. We offer a wide range of classes and drop-ins for parents and their children, from pregnancy to age 3. Our retail store features products to make pregnancy and early parenting and babyhood more comfortable, more convenient and more fun! We are mothers, daughters, doulas and friends—we’re here for you.
Eva Bild, MA, AdvCD (DONA), BDT (DONA), LCCE Founder, Director and Co-Owner of The Mothering Touch Centre; Childbirth Educator, Certified Doula and Breastfeeding Educator, DONA-Approved Birth Doula Trainer Eva is the Director and Co-Owner of the Mothering Touch Centre. She coordinates the childbirth, activity, yoga and fitness classes. She teaches some of our Childbirth Preparation Classes and Doula Training Workshops and facilitates the Drop-in Parent and Baby Groups. Eva has been working with childbearing families since 1991. She started her training as a Childbirth Educator with the National Childbirth Trust in Scotland and is now a Lamaze-Certified Childbirth Educator. Eva has been a doula since 1995, becoming certified by DONA International in 1997. She has accompanied over 140 families through childbirth. It is always an honour to be invited to share this wonderful time in a family’s life. She is very grateful for the privilege of working with new mothers and babies. Eva parle couramment le français et propose ses services d’accompagnante à la naissance à la communauté francophone de Victoria. Eva completed the Douglas College Breastfeeding Course for Health Professionals in 1996 and has been helping new mothers and their babies learn the mother-baby breastfeeding dance since then. This is one of the most exciting and rewarding parts of Eva’s multi-faceted work life. Eva is married to Randy Enkin, a geophysicist, who is also her business partner. Eva and Randy have three wonderful grown-up children— Daniel, Simon and Hannah—co-owners of The Mothering Touch Centre.
975 Fort Street,Victoria | 250-595-4905 | motheringtouch.ca
Discover the wide range of classes and Before Baby Childbirth Preparation – Prenatal Classes (by Registration) Prenatal Refresher – Having a Baby Again (by Registration) Parenting the Newborn – including First Aid (by Registration) Prenatal Yoga (Drop-in) Prenatal Fitness (Drop-in) Yoga for Labour & Birth (Drop-in) Yoga for Labour & Birth – with Partners (by Registration) Acupressure for Labour – with Partners (by Registration)
Before OR After Baby Keeping the Love Alive – When Partners Become Parents (by Registration) Infant First Aid (by Registration) Cloth Diapering Workshop (by Registration) Financial Planning for Families (FREE! – by Registration)
After Baby Baby Groups (drop in) Yoga for Toddlers (drop in) Peekaboo! Coucou! A French/English Songs & Rhymes Class (drop-in) Baby Massage (drop-in) Motherhood Circle (by Registration) Motherhood Circle 2.0: The Toddler Years (by Registration) Child First Aid (by Registration)
Pregnant Parents:
Our teachers are Certified Childbirth Educators, Breastfeeding Educators and Doulas. They are trained to provide up-to-date, evidence-based information, in a comfortable, fun and interactive environment. Whether you are planning your birth at home or at the hospital, with a midwife, or a doctor, knowing in advance what your options are makes a big difference. Our teachers use a variety of methods, including discussion, hands-on practice, videos, couple work and group work.
Childbirth Preparation Class topics include • The Stages of Labour • Breath Awareness • Medical Interventions • Birth Plans • The New Baby • Breastfeeding
• Comfort Measures for Labour • The Postpartum Period
Our Parenting the Newborn class is for those who want more time to discuss baby care and breastfeeding, and who would also like to learn Infant First Aid. Thank you for the amazing prenatal class and hospital tour. Your staff are so knowledgeable, friendly, compassionate and caring. I feel confident that I have what I need to know to make decisions around the delivery of my baby. Thank you so much for this peace of mind.
groups offered at Mothering Touch! Adoptive and Intended Parents:
We believe that adoptive and intended parents need evidencebased information and strong support while waiting for baby to arrive as well as during the challenging days of early parenting. There are so many ways to build a family. All families grow and develop better when they have compassionate and imaginative support.
Groups:
We believe in facilitating the meeting of parents and their babies in diverse and comfortable groups to share their experiences. Are you a new parent in Victoria? Within our postnatal baby groups, all parents, parents-to-be and babies are welcome: breastfeeding and bottle-feeding, first-time and experienced parents, biological and adoptive parents. Grandparents and aunts and uncles are welcome too! (Our Pregnancy Happy Hour You are doing amazing things by providing support in the variGroup is for pregnant people only.) ous ways you do at your place of business. Mothering Touch is so Our baby groups are facilitated by moms, doulas and breastmuch more than a baby store. It’s been a haven during times of feeding educators. Our pregnancy groups are facilitated by insecurity and isolation while embarking on the project of parent- experienced childbirth educators. We will also have speakers ing little people. It’s such a big job, being a parent, so thank you for and discussions on topics chosen by the group. all you do and the ongoing, continuous support you show to moms We have a group for everyone, from pregnancy to toddlerand dads. ville. The drop-in fee for each meeting is only $2! Pregnancy Happy Hour: Fridays 5pm to 6:30pm New Babies (birth to 4 months): Tuesdays 11:30am to 1pm Older Babies (4–9 months): Wednesdays 1pm to 2:30pm Mobile Babies & Toddlers (9–18 months): Thursdays 1pm to 2:30pm
New Parents, Babies and Toddlers:
Our wide variety of classes for new parents help new families find support as they start on their journey and learn to parent their baby and toddler. We believe that families need strong support during the postpartum period, breastfeeding and early parenting. Compassionate support for new parents helps them grow into compassionate nurturing parents who can love and enjoy their children. Mothering Touch is the go-to place for new and expectant parents. I have logged MANY MANY hours there; I enjoyed their Pregnancy Happy Hour before my daughter was born, my husband and I had our prenatal classes with them and my daughter and I went to weeks and weeks (and months) of moms and babe groups…
Grandparents:
This informal, discussion-based Grandparents’ Class teaches the latest on newborn care. We will discuss up-to-date information on breastfeeding, safe sleeping practices, car-seat regulations, and how to play with baby. We will also give grandparents a chance to explore new ideas about parenting and how they can support their adult children in their new role as parents. I was a student in your Grandparenting class at Mothering Touch a few weeks ago. Thank you for your humour, thank you for your guidance, thank you for your endless care for all things baby! My daughter now has a beautiful baby, my first grandchild, and I’m so thankful for your support! ~Sandra
Jill Moran, R.Ac Registered Acupuncturist
Linda Baril, R.Ac Registered Acupuncturist
Tennille Kay Carter, R.Ac Registered Acupuncturist
Comfortable private treatment rooms
Individual Support and Treatments
While one of our missions at Mothering Touch is to connect parents with each other, we know that sometimes families need support that is focused on their particular needs. We offer consultations and treatments in various modalities and methods in our new, comfortable, private treatment rooms. Acupuncture. Acupuncture can help to minimize or resolve many of the unpleasant “side-effects” of pregnancy—from swollen feet to nausea to insomnia. Jill Moran, and Tennille Kay Carter, our Acupuncturists, can also help with breast-feeding problems and other post-partum issues. Breastfeeding Consultations. Some families need personalized support to meet the challenges of establishing breastfeeding. We have three Breastfeeding Educators on staff to help with positioning, latching, scheduling, pumping. Massage. Massage treatments can be very beneficial for managing stress and anxiety, reducing muscle tension, and supporting your body through the unique changes that are happening throughout pregnancy and the postpartum period. Come and enjoy a relaxing, pampering, soothing massage, lying on our special Pregnancy Pillows. It’s such a relief to be able to lie on your tummy, even for a short while! Of course, the options of lying on your side or your back are also available. Our Registered Massage Therapist, Amanda Kihn, has a special interest in pregnancy and the postpartum. She loves treating and supporting new families.
Amanda Kihn Relaxation Massage Provider
Pamela Bethel, CD(DONA), LCCE Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator, Breastfeeding Educator, & Birth Doula
Reflexology. Refloxology involves applying pressure to certain points on the feet and the hands. These reflex points are believed to correspond to different body organs and systems, and that pressing them creates benefits for the patient's health. Our reflexologist, Linda Baril, is also a childbirth educator and doula. She has many years of experience of helping parents in late pregnancy, during labour and during the postpartum. Reflexology can relieve aches and pains, promote relaxation, and help with the progress of labour. Sleep Consultations. Some families value experienced support when working on teaching their child to sleep well (however they define the term). Eva Bild, our Sleep Consultant, will meet with you to design a customized sleep plan for your child and your whole family. Therapeutic Counselling. Therapeutic counselling during pregnancy and the postpartum period can help parents adjust to the dramatic changes that come with parenthood. Theresa Gulliver, our Therapeutic Counsellor, will offer a safe and supportive space in which to explore and come to terms with these changes.
Theresa Gulliver Registered Therapeutic Counselor
Eva Bild
MA, AdvCD(DONA), BDT(DONA), LCCE
Founder, Director & Co-Owner of The Mothering Touch Centre; Childbirth Educator, Certified Doula and Breastfeeding Educator
975 Fort Street Victoria 250-595-4905 motheringtouch.ca
Embrace Your Mistakes
A
h, yes, it’s the new year, the time when we look back on the past year through the haze of can-this-reallybe-recycled foil Christmas wrapping paper and depleted bank accounts. I’m sure I speak for all dads reading this when I say 2018 was a year of ups and downs, because every year is a year of ups and downs, every year is frustratingly imperfect, every year is a bit of a hair-pulling and glorious endurance test to get to the end, and once we hit the finish line, we kinda stare at each other in a confused daze, unsure of what just happened, taking a brief moment to take stock of how the year went, with all its ups and downs. And those downs are what’s on my mind today, but not because I’m wallowing in my parental mistakes of 2018; they’re on my mind because I want everyone to remember that we all make mistakes. Being a parent is kinda weird because no one really wants to admit they’re making mistakes, no one wants to acknowledge that we’re all just flailing into the great void, hoping that whatever decisions we make end up making sense. No one wants to admit they haven’t done a less-than-stellar job at the most important job out there. It might have been losing your temper, or accidentally teaching your kid something that goes against your morals, or them seeing a friend’s swear-word-laden text on your phone (never happened to me, I swear).
But there’s nothing wrong with getting that stuff out in the open, and the new year is a good time to do it. Without examining what we did wrong this year, it’s a lot harder to improve in the year to come. This is elementary stuff, I realize, but it’s worth considering because, hey, I know as well as anyone how stubborn we all can be about
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admitting our mistakes, and especially our parenting mistakes. But we can lighten the load on ourselves a little bit, with the knowledge that all parents make mistakes. This can give us a bit of comfort and also some reassurance that we’re not alone in that odd feeling of pressure that accompanies parenting. And that’s why I like to talk about that side of parenting in this column: to remind us that we’re all in this together, and that we all struggle, and that we’re all doing all right.
4children.ca presents
DR ROSS GREENE Author of the Explosive Child and Lost at school
Greg Pratt Dadspeak Man, it started to drive me nuts after about the 200th person said to me, with a wink and a nudge, “You don’t get an instruction manual with the kid, eh?” But what they are most likely saying is, “Holy hell, are you feeling the strain as much as I am?” And the answer is, yeah, we all are. And we’re all making mistakes. And we’re all doing our best. It’s easy to think “doing our best is the best we can do,” but I do also try to better my best constantly, and to improve, and to do a bit better, which is why thinking about those mistakes can help. But don’t forget that we’re not striving for perfection. This isn’t social media; this is reality. Don’t attempt to be perfect, because it’s just going to set you up for a fall. But do attempt to be the best parent you can be; attempt to be better than last year. Step it up a notch, but keep it realistic. Just do your damndest. And don’t fall into the trap of thinking other parents are doing it perfectly. I don’t think anyone is. And that’s just fine. So this new year, look back on your parenting in 2018, as wonderful and, at times, head-shaking as it may have been. Be proud, because I’m betting you’re doing your best. Own those mistakes, because you’re going to learn from them this year. And, uh, tell your friends to stop swearing in texts. Young eyes see that shit.
Greg Pratt is the father of two children and a local journalist and editor. His writing has appeared in, among other places, Today’s Parent, Wired, Revolver and Douglas.
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January 2019 15
What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting
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others today are unlike any other generation before them. We quite literally have the answer to every possible question right at our fingertips. And to my own mom’s dismay (and ultimately my loss), we often forget about the wisdom of the mothers who came before us. Why would we need to draw upon their knowledge when we have Google and the “What to Expect” app guiding us through pregnancy and early motherhood? Starting long before women even consider becoming pregnant, we develop a vision of how it “should” unfold: We should get pregnant the moment we want to. We should glow during pregnancy, exercise, and avoid complaining at risk of sounding ungrateful. We should try for a “natural birth” because apparently that’s somehow “better”. We should cherish the newborn stage. Nap when the baby naps. Make a baby book. Record milestones. Go to mom groups. Talk to your baby all day. Teach them sign language. Make your own baby food. Breastfeed. Co-sleep. No wait, don’t co-sleep. We conjure an image of some kind of maternal goddess from idealized notions of pregnancy and childbirth, and persistent messages that becoming a mother should be natural and easy. And this is where it goes wrong for many of us. This goal, this ideal, this kind of woman we are striving to become probably doesn’t even exist. Or maybe she does exist, but there’s a side to her that no one knows. Where is her flexibility? Where are her hard days? Where is her suffering? Maybe becoming a mother does involve all of these sought-after experiences but there is always a balance. There is a shadow, and that shadow is what goes unspoken in our society. For many women, there’s nothing easy about becoming a mother. 16 Island Parent Magazine
There’s physical pain as the body changes and adapts to its new role both during pregnancy and post-partum. The experience of childbirth that by all means can be beautiful and transformative, but can also be traumatizing. The surgery. The healing. The excruciating reality of learning to breastfeed and the feelings of “what’s wrong with me” when we can’t figure it out instantly. The caring for multiple children while you are “supposed” to rest and recover. Becoming a mother is the emotional pain that comes with loss. Loss of strength and self-care. Loss of pregnancies. Loss of identity. Loss of career. Loss of space for self. Loss of sexual sensations. Loss of what your relationship once was. There’s worry and fear that you don’t know what you’re doing. When you realize that you “should” have read more about caring for a baby than what size of fruit they were in utero. And here’s something that sticks around for a while: Guilt. The guilt that you were frustrated at your baby for waking up last night. The guilt for letting them cry too long when you needed a moment by yourself. The guilt for missing your pre-motherhood days. The guilt for scrolling on Instagram while breastfeeding (because after all, you “should” be present with your child during these precious moments). Guilt that you give them a squishy pack, unwatered down juice, and let them watch four episodes of Paw Patrol while you catch your breath. What women need to hear more often is that becoming a mother is often the most startling transition a person could go through. You’re entire worldview shifts. It can be scary, lonely, disappointing, and certainly not what you expected. And when our reality doesn’t meet our expectations (those images of motherhood that have been reinforced for so long) we look for someone to blame. Guess who that person is most of the time? That’s right, it’s you, mama. You wonder why you aren’t good at this. Why it’s so hard for you and seems easy for everyone else. Why you are still hurting when you “should” have recovered by now. Why you feel sad, frustrated, tired. Why you aren’t more grateful and positive. But what if the way you are feeling is actually normal? To experience one of life’s greatest challenges, to be pulled and pushed like most moms are, doesn’t it make sense to suffer a little bit? What if you could give yourself permission to experience this stage in its truest most honest form? My hope for mothers, for you, is to look IslandParent.ca
at yourself with wonder and awe that you created a life. Step into a place of amazement that you have been able to shift from how your life was before to what it is now. And get curious: why would you expect this monumental change to be seamless? Where did those expectations come from, and are they realistic? While each mother will experience this transformation in a unique and personal way, the one common antidote that will support you through the postpartum months, years, and beyond is immense self-compassion. For many mothers, having compassion for others seems easy, but turning that compassion toward the self is where things become more difficult.
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Kate Borsato Self-compassion is about recognizing your places of suffering, your perceived shortcomings and faults, and then viewing those areas with kindness and understanding. It’s about letting go of the judgements and self-criticism and instead, accepting that it might make perfect sense that you’re having a hard time right now. Self-compassion is noticing this moment of suffering, accepting that this is a part of life at this moment, and sending love and patience to yourself. You are a human being. You are allowed to experience the full range of being human. That means encountering the shadow of all of your roles in life is perfectly okay. When you truly accept how you’re feeling you instantly find some relief. You learn that much of the pain comes from your own expectations of being “the perfect mother,” expectations that were never yours to take on in the first place. If you could do just one thing to support yourself, I ask you to give yourself permission to be exactly as you are in this moment. Show yourself the compassion that you so effortlessly give to others. Let go of your judgements, and allow self-appreciation to move in instead. Kate Borsato is a mental health counsellor on Vancouver Island. With her online counselling practice, she supports women during their transitions into motherhood and postpartum stages. Learn more at kateborsato.com IslandParent.ca
January 2019 17
Inclusion
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he person I have in mind when mulling over inclusion is my 12-year-old son who has a rare-genetic disorder called Prader-Willi Syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Between these two diagnoses he has developmental delays, low muscle tone, hyperphagia (insatiable hunger), is considered non-verbal and as a result is a low-incidence (rare) special needs child in the school system. In its Learning Support Plan, the Victoria School District defines inclusion as: “a way of thinking and acting, grounded in a belief that with the right supports, every learner can be successful in their schools and classrooms. Inclusive schools embrace the value of our diversity and see our differences as strengths. All students have an authentic sense of belonging in their school community and are supported to develop their full potential in the academic, social-emotional and physical domains.�
I appreciate the language here, but so much depends on interpretation. For example, the word “successful” and the phrase “authentic sense of belonging” are both subjective and difficult to measure. For my son, success in an inclusive school would mean that he makes friends, learns to read and write, learns needs-based math, is physically active, and learns how to live in the world after school. For typical kids, success may look more like going on to higher education, learning to think critically and problem solve, make friends and become independent adults.
Yvonne Blomer Integration—not inclusion—is closer to what my son experienced in elementary school. My sister-in-law, Angela Stott, also the vice-principal at Golden Secondary School explains that integration is like putting my son in a typical class but having him do his own thing. “For example,” she says, “he would be doing something on his iPad or working with an assistant on something that the rest of the students are probably not doing.” I witnessed this when I visited my son’s class to teach poetry. He was sitting in the back with his educational assistant (EA), reading a book unrelated to what I was doing. Simply put, he was not included in the lesson I had been invited to share. How strange it must have seemed for him, to have his mom there but not be expected to listen to her, engage with her or learn from her. Inclusion, on the other hand, enables all children to be doing the same thing. “If the students are learning about plastic in the ocean and it is a group project, he would be with a group and doing something for the project where learning is happening for him,” says Stott. “If it was individual, he would also learn about plastics in the ocean and present his learning in a way that works for him…using Pictello, an iPad app that uses photos and text, for example.” My son has inclusive learning experiences every day at school now, but not in every subject. In some of his Exploratory subjects he participates as a near-equal with the assistance of his dedicated EA and with IslandParent.ca
January 2019 19
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peer help. Recently in Global Action, the students visited Haro Woods to learn about invasive species. Saanich provided equipment and the kids pulled out ivy and holly in small groups. My son’s partner cut and pulled the holly and my son collected it and carried it to the tarp with extra help from his EA or peer. It was a perfect activity for full inclusion. In Science, too, the teacher provides an inclusive class, though while my son’s peers move on to more complicated subjects that are less accessible to him, my son concentrates on the ones he can manage.
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20 Island Parent Magazine
ties than differences, and where they can develop friendships...
”
Accessibility is a big part of inclusion. If a subject is not accessible, such as mathematics and some PE sports, then the child can’t be included. My son is not at a Grade 7 math level. Also, it makes more sense for him to learn the math and numeracy to understand money, time, and measurements. Language Arts is another tricky subject. My son loves books and can be included for novel reading, but he can’t be fully included because he’s non-verbal, and is not reading at the same level. There is a benefit to having him be a part of Language Arts while at the same time there is also an educational imperative to offer a pull-out (or resource) program for reading, spelling, writing practice and other activities at his language level. A dual-system that is inclusive with other low-incidence kids and inclusion with the wider school population allows my son to feel included while also ensuring he gets an education that is accessible to him. We have this now, but it is being phased out in the district. Another parent whose son is also a lowincidence learner in the school district told me her son spent kindergarten to Grade 5 in a mainstream classroom. IslandParent.ca
“With each year, as typical kids developed A dual system is ideal, one that recognizes This raises the question of who inclusion and he didn’t, his suitability and belonging how inclusion can also happen in smaller is benefitting. The mom whose son attended in the classroom became less and less,” groups where kids have more similarities Arbutus says, “For us, including special ed children in the mainstream classes has been a huge success, but only for our two typical children.” Recently I picked up my son, skipping and laughing, from school. He’d just had Grade 6 buddies visit his low-incidence classroom. He was placed with a group of four girls and used his iPad to share stories about his summer. All the students were well-supported by the EAs and teachers in the room. Some of his new friends did not want to leave. The pull-out program can also benefit typical kids in the school with an interest in spending more time with kids who are diverse. My son was interested in communicating with his group and they were in tune with what he wanted to say. Inclusion in the schools is complicated, but vital to all kids. For my son’s education, a low-incidence pull-out program is also necessary. she said. “In Grades 6 to 8 at Arbutus in a classroom with other special ed students, he, for the first time in his life, felt a sense of belonging.”
than differences, and where they can develop friendships rather than relationships that are troubled by an automatic abilitybased power imbalance.
Yvonne Blomer is a Victoria writer and the past Poet Laureate of Victoria. Her most recent books are Sugar Ride: Cycling from Hanoi to Kuala Lumpur and Refugium: Poems for the Pacific.
Kaleidoscope 1/2 Isl
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January 2019 21
Winter Programs F
and capacity for creative thinking and collaboration. Classes are offered in acting for theatre and film, improv, sketch writing and more. 250-386-7526. skam.ca. facebook. com/skamschoolofpa.
rom art classes to wellness programs—and everything in between—our community offers an array of programs, resources and services for families. To find out what’s Since 1980 STAGES Performing Arts available, read on. (For more details on the following listings, please refer to the School has offered professional instrucads in this issue of Island Parent). tion in jazz, ballet, lyrical, tap, musical theatre and hip hop for all ages and levels of experience. We believe that all students Dance/Drama/Performing Art should have an equal opportunity to learn in a safe, non-competitive environment, As the premiere school for young actors in which fosters self-expression, a healthy Victoria, Kaleidoscope focuses on a single body, confidence, and encourages responmission: Training the best and brightest sibility, discipline, inspiration, creativity students to become highly skilled, confiand pride in their accomplishments. For dent, and well-rounded young performers. more information, please call STAGES at Kaleidoscope’s innovative training inspires 250-384-3267 or visit stagesdance.com. creativity and imagination while exploring respected techniques under the guidance of Victoria Acadour esteemed faculty, directors, and industry SKAM School of Performing Arts offers emy of Ballet experts. Discover our classes in Musical young people ages 3 to 18 the opportunity (VAB) was esTheatre, Acting, Drama, Improvisation, to creatively explore and develop their dra- tablished in 1990 Comedy, Acting for the Camera, plus Pro-D matic skills and passions. Staff are trained and is under the Day Camps, Spring Break and Summer Pro- and experienced theatre artists. Students ownership and grams. 250-383-8124. kaleidoscope.bc.ca. are encouraged to develop individual skills direction of Bleiddyn Del Villar Bellis, CCin movement, voice, dramatic techniques CICB VAB offers specialized dance instrucand performance and to build confidence tion to children ages 3 to professional level.
S T A G E S Performing Art School since1980
Come Dance With Us
ses Clas l o ho .. e -S c angels. r P e e l t im itt • Offering classes for Teens and Pre-Teens in Jazz, Day or the l f
Ballet, Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & Hip Hop, in a non-competitive atmosphere.
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Even the littlest angel can dance 22 Island Parent Magazine
Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com IslandParent.ca
VAB is a registered Vocational Institution with its two-year, full-time Bridge Program for high school graduates designated with the BC Private Training Institutions Branch. 716 Johnson Street. 250- 590-6752. victoriaacademnyofballet.ca.
Education Christ Church Cathedral School’s motto is “Let Your Light Shine.” Each student is encouraged and supported to reach his or her highest potential in every area. Foundational learning and skill development in the presence of a small and welcoming community with outstanding teachers results in confident students, ready to make positive contributions to the world, when they enter the next stage of learning and life following Middle School. Smart Tutor Referrals provides professional one-on-one tutors—that come to you. We empower learning and discovery in all students, of all
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abilities, in all subject areas. Our experienced tutors are all certified BC teachers. Cost starts at $40/hr. Receiving funding for your child’s educational support? We can process that. Call 250-544-1588, visit smarttutorreferrals.com, or find us on Facebook to learn more. Cultivating learning confidence in Victoria’s students since 2002.
Gymnastics Victoria Gymnastics is celebrating its 39th year and enjoying the success of its two locations—downtown and the newest location near Royal Roads University in Colwood. We continue to provide quality artistic gymnastics for boys and girls ages two through adult, beginner through advanced. Our non-competitive achievement programs provide children with a skill set advantage for all activities. We guarantee our 8 to 1 ratio, offer convenient class times and ensure certified instruction so that your child will excel in a wellstructured, fun and safe environment. Visit victoriagymnastics.com.
Music Christ Church Cathedral School. Choristers in grades 4-8 rehearse each morning before school and sing evensong in the Cathedral on certain weekdays. Admission to the program is by audition. We encourage auditions from children who are learning a musical instrument, those who like to sing, or who simply enjoy music. We are looking for musical potential, enthusiasm and a capacity for team play. Upon admission to
January 2019 23
the program, each chorister is awarded a renewable bursary to offset their Cathedral School tuition fees. The Tom Lee Music Academy at Millstream Village offers lessons for all ages in piano, guitar, keyboard, bass, drums, voice, theory, strings, brass and woodwinds. Learning to play music is a life-changing skill that is also great fun. From ages 3 beginners to the advanced student, we strive to make music education accessible and enjoyable with a sense of accomplishment at every level. Please call 250-383-5222 for more information.
Parent Education/Programs LIFE Seminars parenting courses have made a huge, positive impact on families in Victoria for over 30 years. Dr. Allison Rees offers courses, Sidestepping the Power Struggle and Parenting Children and Teens. Dr. Rees also provides individual coaching and education. For more information about the courses, go to the website, lifeseminars. com or call 250-595-2649. These courses
24 Island Parent Magazine
are in book form and available on Kindle 12+). We design all our programs with and at Bolen Books. these principles in mind: risk management, respect and fair play; fundamental skills Magical Meadow. Explore the challenges and technical mastery before performance of raising a secure child. Uncover how the and results; fun, friendship and community; hidden echoes of parenting from your past inclusivity. 1627 Stelly’s Cross Rd. info@ could be sabotaging your relationships climbtheboulders.com. 250-544-0310. with your child(ren), spouse, friends and clients. Discover what is hidden in plain City of Victoria. Start off 2019 with active, sight. Leave these 8-part workshops feel- fun and healthy activities for you and your ing aware, enlightened, empowered, and family. January is a perfect time to make transformed—fostering secure attachments health and wellness a focus. Try it Free in all your relations: professionally, person- invites you to sample over 120 programs ally, and internally. Our offerings include: at no charge. Register online at victoria. Raising Secure Earth Angels; Circle of ca/recreation for a complete list of the Security®-Parenting™; CoS® for Profession- participating facilities and programs, or als. MagicalMeadow.ca. call 250-361-0732.
Recreation The Boulders Climbing Gym. Team Boulders is lead by world class coaches and athletes determined to make climbing fun, fundamental, and competitive. Team Bedrock (Ages 6-9). Team Gneiss (Ages 9-11); Team Junior Competitive (Ages 9-13); Team Sandstone (Ages 12+); Team Limestone (Ages 12+); Team Granite (Ages
Island Circus Space is Victoria’s first contemporary circus school offering circus classes for all ages, from beginner to advanced. Our versatile facility will satisfy nearly all of your circus needs from juggling, balancing, partner acrobatics, aerial silks, aerial hoop, dance trapeze and so much more! Circus combines athleticism, creativity and performance into one exciting activity. So whether you’re a kid or a big kid at heart, come give circus a try!
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PARTY Directory birthday parties
The Juan de Fuca Skating Club provides professional qualified coaches. Their passion and dedication in training help each skater achieve their individual goals. The Club skates at the Westshore Parks and Recreation and Westhills Arena in Victoria, B.C. By offering CanSkate/PrePower, Junior, Intermediate, Senior and Synchronized figure skating, as well as CanPowerSkate programs, there is something for skaters of all skills and ages. Come and see for yourself our amazing program and coaches. Tyee Aquatic Club offers a variety of programs designed to give swimmers the appropriate skills to develop their swimming talent. Tyee swimmers are progressively challenged to improve at every level in a fun, supportive environment. Tyee has the intention of encouraging young people to enjoy swimming and fitness as a lifetime activity. At the same time, we produce competent swimmers who have learned the technical, mental and emotional skills necessary to reach their highest potential. tyeeaquaticclub.com.
Science & Nature Mad Science® offers a variety of programs with fun science content. Birthday Parties, Camps and After-school programs—they all offer an opportunity to immerse children in an experimental, hands-on environment of exploration and learning. We bring exciting science to your home, to your school, to your community. Our new program Tech & Nature is sure to impress. Check our website madscience.org/vancouverisland or call 1-888-954-6237 for more information.
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Henderson Recreation Centre Call 250-370-7200 Oak Bay Recreation Centre Call 250-595-SWIM (7946) recreation.oakbay.ca G Y M
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We supply table top cover, napkins, hats, streamers and balloons Optional character
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MAD SCIENCE VANCOUVER ISLAND
The best birthday party ever!
Optional character
Free t-shirt Optional character
Optional character
Other Everyone is welcome at Cinecenta! Cinecenta is a cozy 300-seat cinema that is a division of the non-profit University of Victoria Students’ Society, located in the Student Union Building at UVIC. From September to April we offer Matinees for Kids on Saturdays and Sundays. All seats: $4.75. Cinecenta has a terrific Munchie Bar with baked goods and espresso drinks. Damn fine popcorn, too, with real butter at no extra cost! See you at the show! • IslandParent.ca
Foam landing pit and 40' long trampoline
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Available Saturday & Sunday Afternoons Optional character
TWO GREAT LOCATIONS
2051 Store St, Victoria
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victoriagymnastics.com January 2019 25
Welcome to our 4 Reggio-Inspired centres!
Being Mindful S hould mindfulness be taught at schools? And for that matter, what does it mean to be mindful, anyway? Mindfulness is the acknowledgment of the present moment. It is a state of consciousness that encourages one to pay attention to their emotions, without judgment. It involves stepping back and observing our feelings and thought patterns without reacting or labeling them as “good” or “bad.” They just are. In practicing mindfulness, children learn to slow down, cultivate self-awareness and recognize the world around them. Mindfulness is the opposite of mindlessness. In this busy world, many of us operate
Mindfulness practice does not aim to turn our children into happy little robots. In fact, it encourages children to honour all of their feelings in a healthy way. Many people in today’s society have become uncomfortable with negative emotions. Perhaps we see them as a sign of weakness and feel pressure to “fix” them. Mindfulness teaches children to observe their feelings, without judgment, to “ride the wave” of emotion, so to speak. If we don’t allow children to truly feel their emotions, how will they develop the skills to cope? In the context of a classroom, mindfulness practices vary. Some lessons involve biting into a specific food and focusing attention
on autopilot. We follow routines, eat in a hurry and don’t pay much attention to our own thoughts. When we run on autopilot, we are unaware of patterns in our thinking. Sometimes, those patterns can be negative. Thoughts may be anxious or worrying. Mindfulness teaches us to become aware of our thoughts and worries. By simply recognizing negative moments, we can disrupt the pattern.
on the experience. Imagine the experience of eating a grape, for example. Roll the grape on your tongue and feel the texture. Can you taste anything in the moment before you bite into its skin? Now, take a slow bite and feel the juice burst onto your taste buds. Is it sour? Sweet? Cold? Can you smell it? This might sound like fun and games, but it actually teaches our children to slow down
Our educators are leading conferences, hosting workshops and publishing articles in child care journals. Our second location is now open, next door! • Art classes in our impressive Ateliers • 4 acres of natural forest play space • Exceptional quality of care • BC Prov. award of excellence in child care • Victoria’s only Reggio-Emilia/ Nature Daycare
lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603 26 Island Parent Magazine
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and pay attention to sensations, thoughts and perceptions. Other mindfulness activities may include mindful walking in nature. What do you see, smell and hear around you? Perhaps kids will practice taking deep breaths to calm their body and mind, and spend a moment or two listening to their thoughts.
Kelly Cleeve Are you still wondering why educators are investing time in mindfulness practice at school? Studies show that focusing one’s attention on the present moment—thoughts, environment, sensation—can improve overall cognitive control. Our brain is a muscle, and by practicing our focus and attention, that part of the brain becomes stronger, and in turn, students develop a calm, concentrated state of awareness. This can be transferred to academic activities as well. Mindfulness practice also increases a child’s self-regulation, for they are developing emotional intelligence and calming strategies, such as deep breathing. When students are calm and their attention is focused, their potential for learning soars. When we encourage our kids to be mindful, they are better able to develop a sense of optimism because they understand that feelings are temporary and do not reflect who they are, as people. Self-reflection increases as kids become more self-aware of their own identity and of how they interact with others. Empathy and caring towards others increases, as well. Teachers have found that when students practice mindfulness, their well-being increases. When children feel calm and happy, their relationships with others tend to improve. When students feel connected to their school, their classmates and their teacher, the opportunities for meaningful learning increase. Mindfulness practice not only potentially improves a child’s general outlook on life, but can play an essential role in the quality of their learning.
Kelly Cleeve is a passionate educator with 14 years experience. She is a graduate student at the University of British Columbia, a wife and a mother of two beautiful boys. IslandParent.ca
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January 2019 27
FAMILY Calendar
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J A N U A R Y Our Generous Sponsors
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THURSDAY
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RD
Victoria & CRD
Featuring Messy Church. A family-friendly time of SATURDAY TH fun, games, food, crafts, music, and stories. Dinner AND SUNDAY TH is provided. Come when you can, come as you are. For info, call 250-477-6741 or e-mail st.lukes@shaw. Victoria & CRD ca. Free. stlukesvictoria.ca. Christmas Tree Chipping Fundraiser SATURDAY TH 10am at McKenzie Elementary Back Parking Lot 4005 Raymond St N Nanaimo & Area Bring your tree to the back parking of McKenzie Elementary. All proceeds to the creation of an Splish Splash Swim Outdoor Learning Space. By donation. tracylee16@ 10am at Ravensong Aquatic Centre hotmail.com. 737 Jones St A water adventure you don’t want to miss. The life- TUESDAY TH guards are going to bring out the pool toys for you to enjoy. From the rope swing to the snake to the dino Nanaimo & Area ribs there will be water play for everyone. Regular admission. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. 250-752-5014. Glow in the Dark Skate 6:30pm at Frank Crane Arena SUNDAY TH Skate in an atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special effects. Regular admission. recreation. Victoria & CRD nanaimo.ca. 250-756-5200.
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Winter Birds of Witty’s 10am at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park While some birds fly south, many spend their winters enjoying southern Vancouver Island’s moderate climate. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to find out who’s who at the lagoon, a favourite bird hangout. Bring binoculars if you have a pair. A spotting scope will be available. Meet at the Witty’s Lagoon Nature Winter Birds of Island View Beach Centre off Metchosin Rd. 8+ years. BC Transit #54 or 10am at Island View Beach Regional Park Island View Beach is one of the premier winter birding #55. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks. 250-478-3344. locations in the region. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to look for hawks, owls, sea ducks, loons, FRIDAY TH and more. Wear warm clothes and bring binoculars if you have them. Meet at the grassy area adjacent Victoria & CRD to the picnic shelter off Homathko Rd. 8+ years. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks. 250-478-3344. Fantastic Fridays 4:30 pm at St. Luke’s Hall Cedar Hill Cross Rd at Cedar Hill Rd
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Dad’s Night Out Skate 6:45pm at Oceanside Place Arena Dads, bring the kids and enjoy a skate together on the pond. Sponsored by Building Learning Together. Free. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. 250-248-3252.
SATURDAY
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Victoria & CRD Traditional Indigenous Storytime for Families
LEARN something new... Join the team at Juan de Fuca Pool? Courses required Bronze Star (optional) Bronze Medallion Bronze Cross
Standard First Aid National Lifeguard: Pool Option Red Cross Water Safety Instructor
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10am at Bruce Hutchison Branch Library Join Surrounded by Cedar Children & Family Services for a monthly storytelling group for families featuring traditional storytellers, art and songs. For children & their families. Please email to register. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875. counselling@sccfs.com. Who’s Hooting 1pm at Mill Hill Regional Park The owls are hooting. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to learn some owl calls, find out about these excellent night hunters, and get to know our BC owls. Meet at the information kiosk in the parking lot off Atkins Ave. 5+ years. BC Transit #53. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks. 250-478-3344.
SUNDAY
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Victoria & CRD
Birds are fun for little ones—especially when they are by a winter bird feeder. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist and look for our fine feathered friends, make a bird craft, and enjoy a short exploration in the woods. There is no fee for this program, but you must pre-register by January 11 as space is limited. 5 years and under. BC Transit #70, #72, or #75. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks. 250-478-3344. Facility Tour & Info Session 10:30am at Greenglade Community Centre See SUN 13 for details. Free. panoramarecreation. ca. 250-656-7271.
THURSDAY
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TH SATURDAY
Childhood Stress & Anxiety: Building Resilience Presentation 6pm at Cowichan Valley Open Learning All adults welcome. Free. ericfoundation.com. 250-888-5735.
Nanaimo & Area
Facility Tour & Info Session 10:30am at Panorama Recreation New to the area and interested to learn more about the variety of programs and services offered? Come for a tour. Attendees will each receive 2 free passes. FRIDAY TH Free. panoramarecreation.ca. 250-656-7271. Victoria & CRD Family Drumming Discovery 11am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre Minute to Win It at Teen Lounge 4100 Lambrick Way 6pm at Greenglade Community Centre Explore rhythm and drumming together! This interac- From Ka-Boom & Defying Gravity, to Junk in the tive session combines listening, hands-on bucket Trunk and Stack Attack, your favourite challenges drumming and a relay course incorporating varied are coming to Teen Lounge. For grades 6-9. paninstruments. Try a range of percussion instruments oramarecreation.ca. 250-656-7271. and beats. $10. saanich.ca. 250-475-7107. jen. pero@saanich.ca. Nanaimo & Area
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WEDNESDAY
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Coast Capital Free Skate 3:45pm at Nanaimo Ice Centre Skate and helmet rentals included. Free. recreation. nanaimo.ca. 250-756-5200.
Victoria & CRD
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How Plants & Animals Survive Winter 10am at Linley Valley Parking Lot Have you ever wondered what happens to the plants and animals over the winter months when it’s cold outside? Come and find out! For ages 3-6. $8/person. recreation.nanaimo.ca. 250-756-5200. Disco Light Skate 7:30pm at Oceanside Place Arena Catch dance fever under the disco lights. The flashing lights and pumping music will take you back in time. Regular admission. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. 250-248-3252. Starlight Skate 7pm at Nanaimo Ice Centre An opportunity to come out and enjoy our soft light “stars” and passive LED glow lights. This is a great time for families after dinner, or that “night out” with friends. Regular admission. recreation.nanaimo.ca. 250-756-5200.
Under the Bird Tree 10am at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park
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Try our grab and go trays. thriftyfoods.com IslandParent.ca
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Connect with us January 2019 29
SPRING BREAK CAMPS
FRIDAY
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Victoria & CRD Going Squirrelly 10am at Francis/King Regional Park What does it take to survive as a squirrel? With a CRD Regional Parks naturalist, discover what keeps these furry creatures busy at this time of year. Meet at the Francis/King Nature Centre off Munn Rd. All ages. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks. 250-478-3344. Nanaimo & Area
2019 Nike Sports Golf Camp at Highland Pacific Golf March 18–22 and March 25–29 8:30 am – 12:00 pm ~ Half Day Camp Ages 5–8 1:00 pm – 4:30 pm ~ Half Day Camp Ages 9–12 $250 includes, 17.5 hours of golf instruction with a PGA of Canada Golf Coach, Nike Sports Camp Workbook and Nike Sports Camp SWAG.
For more info call 250-478-4653 or to book visit www.sportscampscanada.com/golf/nike
250-478-4653 450 Creed Road, Victoria highlandpacificgolf.com
Canada’s Ballet Jörgen
Coppélia
If you love The Nutcracker, then you’ll love Coppélia!
Super Hero Fun 1:30pm at Beban Pool Bring your super hero powers to the pool and help save “Planet Beban” from the enemy. Regular admission. recreation.nanaimo.ca. 250-756-5200.
MONDAY
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Victoria & CRD Family Literacy Week: Make Your Own Story Glove 1:30pm at Oak Bay Branch Library Would you love to make your very own story glove? Come for a story time and make a simple story glove to take home. Supplies provided. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult. Registration begins January 2. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875.
TUESDAY
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Victoria & CRD Family Literacy Week: Discovery Lab 11:30am at Bruce Hutchison Branch Library Imagine, create and build using STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Mathematics) learning. Listen to stories and apply your knowledge during hands-on activities. For ages 3-5. Registration begins January 2. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875.
WEDNESDAY
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RD
Victoria & CRD
Thursday Tickets $27 Feb. Family7, 2019 $88 (2 adults and 2 children) 7:30pm
Tickets Student & Senior Child eyeGO Family Package
cowichanpac.ca
$36 $33 $20 $5 $88
Family Literacy Week: Discovery Lab 10:30am at Langford Heritage Branch Imagine, create and build using STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Mathematics) learning. Listen to stories and apply your knowledge during hands-on activities. For ages 3-5. Registration begins January 2. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875.
Ticket Centre: 250.748.7529 2687 James St. Duncan, BC
30 Island Parent Magazine
IslandParent.ca
THURSDAY
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Victoria & CRD Childhood Stress & Anxiety: Building Resilience Presentation 6pm at Frank Hobbs Elementary Tailored for Parents and Educators supporting children ages 5-11 (K-Grade 5) who are experiencing stress and anxiety. All adults welcome. Free. eventbrite.ca or ericfoundation.com. 250-888-5735. karenpalmer@shaw.ca.
Come for storytime and make a simple felt story to take home. Supplies provided. For young children and accompanying adult. Registration begins January 2. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875.
Family Literacy Week: Once Upon a Story Walk 10am at Juan de Fuca Branch Library Individual pages of a storybook, mounted on signposts, are placed outdoors in a circuit. Children follow the narrative by visiting each sign post in sequence. Nature-inspired activities in the library afterwards. Rain or shine; please dress appropriately. Everyone welcome; children must be accompanied by an adult. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875.
Family Literacy Week: Create Your Own Felt Story 10:30am at Esquimalt Branch Library Come for a storytime and make a simple felt story to take home. Supplies provided. For young children and accompanying adult. Registration begins January 2. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875. Winter Wander 1pm at Devonian Regional Park SATURDAY TH Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to explore this FRIDAY TH beautiful seaside gem. What plants and animals Victoria & CRD make this park home? Come and find out. Meet at Victoria & CRD the information kiosk in the parking lot off William Family Literacy Week: Fun with ABCs Head Rd. 5+ years. BC Transit #54 or #55. Free. crd. Family Literacy Week: Fun with ABCs 10:30am at Central Branch Library bc.ca/parks. 250-478-3344. 10:30am at Saanich Centennial Branch Library See FRI 25 for details. Registration begins January A is for apple, alligator and astronaut—how awe- 2. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875. Nanaimo & Area some. Practice your ABCs with alphabet stories, then create alphabet art with an ABC-inspired Books for Breakfast Royal Tea Party and Skate collage. Supplies provided. For young children and 10am at Central Saanich Branch Library 2pm at Oceanside Place Arena accompanying adult. Registration begins January 2. Enjoy stories, songs, puppets, a light breakfast Bring out your inner royal and come skating. Make a Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875. snack, and take home a book to keep. For young craft and participate in a tea party. Prince or princess children and their families. Drop in event. Offered or other royal costumes welcome. Regular admisFamily Literacy Week: Create Your Own Felt Story— in partnership with Peninsula Connections Early sion. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. 250-248-3252. Dog’s Colourful Day Childhood. Free. gvpl.ca. 250-940-4875. 10:30am at Nellie McClung Branch Library
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Here at Sutubra Naturals & Organics, we bring you nothing but the best quality baby and child products for every day use.
We carry many external remedies that can help calm restlessness and sooth common skin irritations. We also have many products for all ages including water based nail polish for little ones and relaxing natural bath and spa products for mom and dad. Come into our store today and grab your favourite brands for the whole family!
Located at 112 – 1644 Hillside Shopping Centre through the Marshall’s entrance.
Contact us at 250-999-8038 or naturalbeautyvic@gmail.com | www.sutubrabeauty.com IslandParent.ca
January 2019 31
SUNDAY
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Victoria & CRD A-gnawing Mammals Noon at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary 3873 Swan Lake Rd Mice, squirrels and voles oh my. Find out about these and many more gnawing mammals in the rodent family. Event features bones, pelts, games and discovery into adaptations and habitats of this diverse, sometimes pesky, group of mammals. $5/person suggested donation. swanlake.bc.ca. 250-479-0211.
MONDAY
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Victoria & CRD School’s Out Skate 1pm at Panorama Recreation Come for a fun-filled skate. Helmets available free of charge. $2. panoramarecreation.ca. 250-656-7271.
TUESDAY
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Victoria & CRD School’s Out Swim 1:30pm at Panorama Recreation
32 Island Parent Magazine
Come for a fun-filled swim. Music, games, and prizes. Learn songs, rhymes and fingerplays to use with $2. panoramarecreation.ca. 250-656-7271. your baby every day. For babies 0-15 months and parent or caregiver. Drop-in event starting January 14th. Visit gvpl.ca for locations and times.
ONGOING
PRESCHOOL Victoria & CRD Family Storytime At Greater Victoria Public Libraries Fun-filled stories, songs, rhymes and puppets. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult. Drop-in event beginning week of January 14th. Visit gvpl.ca for locations and times.
Good Morning Storytime Thursdays 10:30am January 17-March 7 at Sidney All Care 2269 Mills Rd Bring your littlest ones to this library program for stories, songs, rhymes, and lots of movement. Ages 0-5. Drop-in program. 250-656-0944. Young Parent Weekly Drop-in Thursdays 10am-noon at Kiwanis Family Centre. Come and enjoy a hot meal, socialize with other young parents, enjoy a kids’ craft, let your little one explore the fully equipped playroom, or have a look in the ‘free’ store for gently used children’s items and household supplies. Staff available to help with information about relevant local resources, advocacy and counselling support, help with paperwork, and parenting support. 250-382-1004.
Stay and Play At Greater Victoria Public Libraries Enjoy social time and free play following Family Storytime. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult. Drop-in event beginning week of January 14. Visit Kindergym Drop-In gvpl.ca for locations and times. Tuesdays & Thursdays 9:30am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre Baby Time 4100 Lambrick Way At Greater Victoria Public Libraries Starting January 8. A movement program designed
IslandParent.ca
for children and their caregiver to play together. Balls, hoops, ride-on toys, climbers and mats allow children to creatively explore. Staff will lead songs and circle time. Get active together for life. $3/child. saanich.ca. 250-475-7107. jen.poitras@saanich.ca.
STAGES Performing Arts School since 1980
s e s s a l C o l Da n c e up
CHILDREN Victoria & CRD Museum Tots Saturdays 11am at Maritime Museum A weekly program introducing children 2-5 to the fun world of museum learning. New theme each week, allowing children to learn through crafts, play, games, song, and dance. $5/child. 250-385-4222.
Pre -S cfohr aoges 12 months and
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FAMILY Victoria & CRD Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Support Circles A safe, supportive place to meet others in a similar situation and to share information and resources. For information about groups near you, call 250384-8042. Province-wide toll free information and support line at 1-855-474-9777 or email grgline@ parentsupportbc.ca. parentsupportbc.ca.
z (w ith J a z h e a t re ) Mu s ic a l T
For more information
Even the littlest angel can dance
Parent Support Circles Parenting isn’t always easy. Sometimes it helps to talk things through with other parents. At the Parent Support Services Society of BC, they believe that every parent is the expert of her/his own family. For more information about groups near you, call 250-3848042 or 1-877-345-9444 or visit parentsupportbc.ca.
Call 250-384-3267 Email us at stagesdance@shaw.ca Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com
Nanaimo & Area Drop-In Science Studio Tuesdays 3-4:30pm at NS3 Science Studio. #101-4355 Jingle Pot Rd Build Lego creations, then program them to move using drag and drop software. Students can also explore the many hands-on science exhibits and experiments including: making boats for the water table, building KEVA block towers, designing marble wall tracks and pulleys, discovering the force of air in the air field, creating flying creations to test in the wind tunnels, and more. $10/child. Ages 6+. No pre-registration necessary. Schedule subject to change, so please check nanaimoscience.org for most current schedule. 778-971-6893. Parksville Lions and Save-On-Foods Family Skate Sundays 12:15-1:45pm January 13-27 at Oceanside Place Arena Pond hockey is not available during this session. Children must be accompanied by an adult 19+. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. 250-248-3252.• IslandParent.ca
Come see how
Kumon can benefit your kids! Find your Kumon Centre on Vancouver Island:
1-800-ABC-MATH www.kumon.ca Enroll between 2/1/19 and 2/28/19 to waive the Enrollment Fee of up to $50. The Enrollment Fee includes services such as processing, student evaluation and lesson plan development. Enrollment Fee waiver only valid at participating Kumon Math & Reading Centres. Most Kumon Centres are independently owned and operated. Additional fees may apply. See centre for applicable terms and conditions. ©2019 Kumon Canada, Inc. All rights reserved.
January 2019 33
The Tooth Fairy is Only Human M
y daughter lost her first tooth playing outside on a late summer evening. Minutes later, I lost my parental halo after throwing the tooth fairy under the bus. We had anticipated this milestone for weeks. We did daily tests and teased about how best to speed up the process. “Shall I get some pliers?” I would say, followed with a cartoonishly evil laugh. We also talked about the magical side of losing teeth. The angelic, wonderful tooth fairy who would fly into her room at night, like Tinkerbell, and gently whisk away the tooth, exchanging it for a gift. My daughter, Julia, knew what to expect from the tooth fairy, of course. She was expecting cold, hard cash under her pillow in the morning. So when Julia came running into the kitchen with the freshly plucked tooth in her hand, we were ready and excited—our first born’s first lost tooth and my first time in the role of the Tooth Fairy. After giggling at her new toothless smile in the mirror and marveling at the tiny white
tooth in her hand, Julia placed the tooth on the kitchen counter for me to keep safe and went back outside to play. I continued my frenzied post-dinner tidying up, washing dishes and wiping the counters clean. When Julia came back inside and asked to see her tooth, fear and panic washed over me: I realized I had no idea where it was. In my mad rush to clean up, I had forgotten my job as Keeperof-the-Tooth and that my daughter’s key
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34 Island Parent Magazine
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to the magical realm of the Tooth Fairy was now most likely in the compost or garbage bin. I panicked. How to keep this fantasy alive? I feigned surprise and said the tooth fairy must have taken it when I wasn’t looking. I reasoned that because the Tooth Fairy was so busy gathering up other children’s teeth, and was probably already in the neighborhood, that she took it now instead of coming back later that night. I’m not sure this reason seemed as clever to Julia as it did to someone who places a high value on multi-tasking, such as myself. However, I explained the tooth fairy would likely circle back in the night and leave some something extra special under her pillow. I watched the expressions on my daughters face while she reconciled what we had told her the tooth fairy would do, and what she was now actually doing. I realized Julia was reaching the only logical explanation: the tooth fairy was unreliable. Later, as my husband and I scoured the house for toonies or loonies to place under our daughter’s pillow, I regretted how I had handled the lost tooth, not to mention that I had lost it in the first place. If I had told Julia the truth, she would know that the tooth fairy wasn’t real. But my lie had characterized the tooth fairy as flighty and impulsive. The truth was, I wanted to protect my daughter from the fact that I was sometimes unreliable, impulsive and flighty. I had thrown the tooth fairy under the bus to save myself. So that night, out of guilt, the tooth fairy left five bucks under Julia’s pillow and vowed to be a more responsible tooth fairy in the future. Full disclosure here: I had to bust into Julia’s own piggy bank and “borrow” the money. (Who carries cash anymore?) Several months later, when the next tooth became wiggly, I was ecstatic. Here was my chance to do it right. The tooth fairy would be redeemed. The bonus was that it was my daughters “pirate tooth,” as it was affectionately referred to. Her front left tooth had slowly turned dark after dying from a bonk three years prior. I was not sad to see it go. It came out in the mornIslandParent.ca
ing before school and I carefully tucked it away for bedtime. That evening, as my husband and I collapsed onto the couch, I reminded him to remind me to remember that the tooth fairy had to come that evening. This is the identical conversation we have every night mid-December until Christmas Day about the Elf on the Shelf.
LIFE Seminars Parenting Courses Presented by
Sarah Seitz I awoke the next morning with my daughter beside my bed. “Mom,” she said, “the tooth fairy didn’t come and take my tooth.” My heart sank. To mess up the Tooth Fairy once—understandable. Twice? I need a new cover story! “Do you think it’s because it was my pirate tooth and she doesn’t take teeth that aren’t white?” she asked. No, I told her. It’s probably because the tooth fairy was so overloaded with teeth jobs the night before that she wasn’t able to get to all of the houses and that tonight she was sure to come. Julia said, “ I know what happened. The tooth fairy works at a busy office with lots of computers and they got so many messages that she didn’t get mine so she will come tonight.” The earnestness in her little voice warmed my heart. I vowed that tonight I would remember. My husband put a reminder in his phone. I asked my sister to text me. This trifecta of reminders was my only hope and redemption. That night, the tooth fairy did come and she left a little note thanking Julia for her patience and understanding during a very busy time. I told myself it was an opportunity to discuss patience and disappointment with my daughter that wouldn’t have happened if I had been perfect. The truth is, I am a flawed parent. I forget things, I make mistakes and sometimes I forgo the magic in order to get things done. Lucky for me, the Tooth Fairy and I have 18 more chances to get it right.
Sarah Seitz is a working mother, wife and writer. She spends her free time cutting off crusts and uses good coffee and humour to get through the day. IslandParent.ca
Dr. Allison Rees and the LIFE Team
Delivering courses to parents and professionals for over 25 years.
Check out the Winter lineup: lifeseminars.com Or Call: 250-595-2649
COMPREHENSIVE FAMILY DENTISTRY family centered practice extended hours evenings and weekends the latest equipment and caring staff request an appointment online
saanichdentalgroup.com 119–1591 McKenzie Ave, Victoria 250 477 7321 info@saanichdentalgroup.com Victoria’s favourite dentists believe a healthy smile starts early. Free first visit for children under 5.
January 2019 35
MAD SCIENCE VANCOUVER ISLAND info@madscienceisland.com
Have a great time with science!
MAD SCIENCE
Winter Camping W
inter and camping, an oxymoron? Or the ultimate outdoor adventure? Scouts Canada agrees with the latter. But of course, warmth, comfort, and safety should be top of mind before planning your next (or first) camping venture in cold temperatures. Check the forecast before leaving home and to prepare accordingly as winter weather can be unpredictable. Here, from Scouts Canada, are some tried-and-tested tips:
Pack your matches in a waterproof metal container, not plastic, as plastic can break if frozen. And always pack more than you think you’ll need. The last thing you want is lost or damp matches, leaving you without a very important tool for fire making. Use lithium batteries in all of your winter electronics such as headlamps, flashlights, GPS navigators, or a radio used to keep track of the changing weather. Not only
Bring the right sleeping pad if you are camping overnight. You lose more heat through conductive heat loss when sleeping, so make sure your pad is thick enough that you can’t feel the cold when lying down. Use a yoga mat or two to help create an extra heat barrier. Stuff your clothes for the next day in your sleeping bag. This will help avoid having big pockets of air in your sleeping bag—and retain body heat. Plus, you’ll wake up with warm clothes to put on in the morning. Place your boots (inside a plastic bag) and boot liners in your sleeping bag as well. If your winter boots became damp during the day, placing them in your sleeping bag will keep them from freezing at night. Then in the morning, they’ll be dry and toasty warm.
does lithium perform consistently in cold temperatures compared to alkaline, but they are lighter and last three times as long. Store your water bottles and other liquids upside down. Water freezes from the top; so, when you are ready for a drink, the frozen water will be opposite to the spout. Use wooden utensils instead of metals ones when cooking and eating meals. Winter temperatures can make metal super cold, which in turn will cause the temperature of whatever you’re cooking and eating to drop quickly as well. Plus, frozen metal can stick to damp fingers—ouch!
AFTER-SCHOOL WORKSHOPS PARTIES SHOWS CAMPS Book on-line
250-391-1814 vancouverisland.madscience.org
Blue Beads & Blueberries Sat. Feb. 9 1pm VIU’s Malaspina Theatre
$12
2 for $20
250-754-7587 | theatreone.org Mid Island
36 Island Parent Magazine
For more Winter Camping Tips and information on Scouts Canada visit scouts.ca. IslandParent.ca
Winter Safety Tips
W
inter is a great season for outdoor activities. Cold weather, ice, and snow can be fun but also dangerous for children. The following tips from Canadian Paediatric Association will help parents and children enjoy winter activities safely.
In General:
Check often to see that your child is warm and dry. Younger children should take regular breaks and come inside for a warm drink. Help children choose play areas with a warm shelter nearby (for example, near home or a friend’s home). Apply sunscreen to exposed skin, even when it’s cloudy.
Clothing:
If your child’s feet and hands are warm, what they are wearing is usually good. If your child is dressed too warm, they could sweat and feel colder when they stop playing. Dress your child in layers of clothing that can be put on and taken off easily. Infants being pulled in a sled need extra bundling. Because they aren’t moving, they can’t generate body heat the way a playing child can. Wear a hat because a lot of body heat is lost through the head. Keep ears covered at all times to prevent frostbite. Wear mittens instead of gloves so that fingers can be bunched together for warmth. Wear warm, waterproof boots that are roomy enough for an extra pair of socks and to wiggle toes. In younger children, remove drawstrings from clothing that could catch on climbing or play equipment. Use Velcro or other snaps instead. Use a neck warmer instead of a scarf, and mitten clips instead of a string to prevent choking. Remove wet clothing and boots immediately after playing. For more Winter Safety Tips, visit caringforkids. cps.ca. IslandParent.ca
Learn a new sport or refine your skills: come join our rock climbing teams! Registration for recreational and competitive teams open now. All levels welcome! Ages 6–18.
Details and registration at climbtheboulders.com
The Boulders Climbing Gym 1627 Stelly’s Cross Road | Saanichton, BC | 250.544.0310
! o o T h c n u L e v r e s e W Pick up your copy of Island Parent at any Serious Coffee cafÊ 5P ÜOE POF OFBS ZPV HP UP TFSJPVTDPòFF DPN
January 2019  37
Baba’s Homemade Pierogies
T Have you registered your child yet for CanSkate? Register at Juan de Fuca Skating Club for the best learn-to-skate program with certified coaches. No matter if your child wants to play hockey, speed skate or figure skate; Canskate or CanPowerSkate will start them off on the right foot!
here is something special about homemade pierogies—something that comes from the time and effort that you put into making them. They are so much tastier than frozen store-bought pierogies. The dough is chewy and buttery, and the fillings are full of flavour. Perogies are very easy to make. The dough mixes up quickly, and the fillings can be simple or complex, depending on what you choose. Forming the actual pierogies does
can store them in bags in the freezer for a wholesome weeknight dinner.
Dough recipe 21⁄2 cups flour 1⁄2 tsp sea salt 1 egg (optional, no replacement necessary) 2 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil 1⁄2 cup water (more as needed)
THE BEST COACHES Nationally certified coaches trained specifically in teaching the mechanics and proper technique of skating Coaches are assisted by trained program assistants Ensures a 1:10 coach/program assistant to skater ratio or lower
For more information and to register please visit
juandefucaskatingclub.ca or email registration@ juandefucaskatingclub.ca 38 Island Parent Magazine
1. Mix all of the dough ingredients totake time, but it is a perfect activity for a gether. If you aren’t using the egg, or if it’s rainy January afternoon. Get everyone in a bit crumbly, sprinkle on a bit more water. your family to help and you’ll be finished 2. Kneed for 5-10 minutes until dough in no time. is nice and smooth. 3. Cover the dough ball with a damp towel and leave it to rest while you prepare Some points to consider: your fillings. • Young children love to play with dough. Let them have their own ball so they can create different shapes. These can be boiled up as a sort of pasta-like dumpling. • Around the age of 6, children are able to fill their own dumplings. Just double check that the edges are sealed otherwise the filling will fall out while boiling. • Make a double batch of pierogies and freeze the extras uncooked on a cookie sheet. Once the pierogies are frozen, you
Fillings Pierogies can be filled with pretty much anything you want. However, here are a few traditional flavours. Mushrooms 2 cups chopped mushrooms 1 small onion 1 tsp dried dill Salt to taste IslandParent.ca
1. Sauté mushrooms and onions until soft. 1. This is the simplest filling. Just mix 2. Add dill and salt. the cottage cheese with the salt and eggs. 3. If you find it hard to fill a pierogi with the mushrooms mix, stir in a 1⁄2 cup of plain mashed potatoes to add bulk to the How to form a pierogi: mushroom filling. 1. Roll the dough out so that it is 1⁄2 cm Mashed Potatoes and Cheese thick. 1 lb potatoes 2. Cut into 6 cm circles. 1⁄2 cup milk 3. Place 1 Tbsp of filling in the centre 2 Tbsp butter of the circle, then pull to dough around 1 clove of garlic, diced the filling. This is easiest for children to 1 small onion, diced do while holding the pierogi in their hand 1 cup of grated cheddar cheese (see photograph). Salt to taste 4. Press the dough closed along the edges 1. Peel the potatoes. to form a semi-circle shape. 2. Boil until soft. 3. Mash the potatoes with the milk and butter until smooth. Cooking the pierogies: 4. Stir in the garlic and onions while the potatoes are still hot enough to gently Pierogies are cooked the same way, cook them. whether you use fresh or frozen pierogies. 5. Stir in the cheese and add salt to taste. The only difference is that the frozen pierogies need to cook for a few minutes longer. Cottage Cheese 3 cups of dry curd cottage cheese 1. Carefully drop the pierogies into a pot 1 tsp salt (unless cheese is salted) of boiling water. Only add a few at the time 2 eggs so they aren’t crowded. 2. Boil until the pierogies float—about 5
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minutes for fresh pierogies and 7 minutes for frozen. 3. Scoop them out with a slotted spoon (or kitchen tongs) and place in a large casserole dish.
Emillie Parrish Cooking With Kids 4. Drizzle each layer of pierogies with oil or butter to prevent them from sticking to each other. You can store them this way, half-cooked, until you are ready to eat them. 5. When you are ready to eat your pierogies, either heat them up in a 400˚F oven for 15 minutes, or fry them on the stove. I recommend pan frying them with onions and bacon. 6. Serve hot and crispy with sour cream. Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with her two busy children. She lives in Victoria and is the author of the fermentation-based blog fermentingforfoodies.com.
January 2019 39
Books for When it’s Raining Cats & Dogs
A
s I write this, it is actually sunny outside. A quick glance at the forecast, however, reminds me that this clear sky won’t be around for much longer. As I’m sure you’ve realized, living here on the West Coast means you have to learn to live with a lot of rain. Even though rain isn’t the worst weather ever—I have two young boys and they live for puddle-jumping—dancing in the rain is only fun for so long, and then everyone is soaked, cold and cranky. When that happens it’s always nice to have a backup plan, like fun books to read about cats and dogs.
The adorable illustrations help bring this hilarious tale to life, and if you look at the pictures closely, you’ll get to witness a second story taking place in the lives of Princess Puffybottoms’ human subjects. For ages 3 to 7.
In A Dog with Nice Ears by Lauren Child (Candlewick Press, 2017), Charlie and Lola talk about what kind of dog Lola would get if their parents let them get a dog, the most important trait being that the dog must have nice ears. After asking and asking, their parents cave in and agree to take Lola to the pet store one Saturday to pick For instance, you could cozy up with up a rabbit. When Charlie points out that Great Dog by Davide Cali and illustrated she doesn’t want a rabbit, Lola assures her by Miguel Tanco (Tundra, 2018). In this big brother that she will pick up her dog story, a young puppy and his father are from the pet store. For ages 3 to 7. walking through their home’s great hall An important aspect of taking care of pets and looking at all of the family portraits. When they stop at each one, the puppy asks is bathing them. But, for some animals, like his dad if he’ll be like Aunt Yuki who is an cats, it can be tricky to know how to do astronaut, or like “Uncle Angus, the pride that. However, author Nicole Winstanley thought of that struggle and wrote a howof the police.” His father assures him that he can do to book to help your child figure it out. In whatever he sets his mind to, and to remem- How to give Your Cat a Bath in Five Easy ber that no matter what he chooses to be Steps, written by Winstanley and illustrated when he grows up, one thing is certain: he by John Martz (Tundra, 2019), a little girl will be a great dog. As you are reading, make tries to give her cat, Mr. Flea, a bath. Step sure you lift up the gatefolds to see the real one: fill the bath. Step two: put the cat in story behind all of the famous dogs in this the bath. Step three: put shampoo on the young pup’s family. And get ready to find cat. Step four: rinse the cat. Step five: dry a surprise twist at the end. For ages 3 to 7. the cat. Sounds easy, right? After a few false starts, she is ready to bathe Mr. Flea, but he If you’re more of a cat person and would is no longer in the bathroom. This hilarirather not read about famous dogs, you ous how-to book—spoof on an instruction might prefer Princess Puffybottom…and manual—is for ages 3 to 7. Darryl by Susin Nielsen and illustrated by If your child is ready for chapter books, Olivia Chin Mueller. In this delightful tale, Princess Puffybottom has the perfect life: they might enjoy reading Houndsley and good food, adoring subjects, and cozy places Catina and Cousin Wagster by James to sleep. Then one day, her subjects bring Howe and illustrated by Marie-Louise home Darryl, a horrible and disgusting dog. Gay (Candlewick Press, 2018). LargerShe knows the moment she sees him that than-life Cousin Wagster has come to visit he must go. However, it seems her subjects Houndsley. However, Houndsley soon feels disagree. So Princess Puffybottom has to overshadowed and overlooked by his vivalearn how to live with Darryl, and along cious cousin who seems good at everything. the way she learns how to cope with big He starts to worry that Catina likes Cousin changes and a little bit about friendship—or Wagster more than she likes him. A tale at the very least, the benefits of having new about the ways friendships can change and grow, but how they also stay exactly the worshippers. same. For ages 5 to 8. IslandParent.ca
The final book is Missing Mike by Shari Green (Pajama Press, 2018). This beautiful book of poetry reads like a novel. If you were to hear it read out loud you wouldn’t know that each chapter is an expertly crafted poem. And the poetry fits the mood of emotions of the story perfectly. In this
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tale 11-year-old Cara and her family have to flee from a forest fire. However, as soon as they are given the 10-minute warning to grab what they need and go, Cara’s beloved one-eyed dog Mike runs away and she isn’t able to find him before they have to flee. The story follows Cara as she vacillates between hope and despair and learns what home means: from a place to stay to hearing music in one’s heart. This is a beautiful story about love, friendship, and family. For ages 8 to 12.
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Pets quickly become part of the family, whether they’re cats or dogs or rabbits. So this January, when you get tired of the rain, why not spend some time reading about the animals so many people love so much?
Christina Van Starkenburg is a freelance writer and mother of two young boys. You can read about their adventures at thebookandbaby. com. IslandParent.ca
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omething I’ve noticed while working for Sierra Club BC as an environmental educator is that just about everywhere I visit, people in the community have something in common: they’re all looking to find ways to interact and feel a sense of belonging in their own community and connect with nature. Kids in particular need to create that sense of belonging in order to feel like they have the support to build relationships with the places they’re in. Relationships with other people as well as all the other living beings such as the plants and animals that live there, too. They’re seeking support and acceptance from their families and friends. And in a different way, they are needing support from elders and other adults in their community, who could be referred to as community aunties and uncles. How do we raise kids in naturefocused community? The importance of nature in a community is essential to create value for nature in a child’s life. If you live in a place where nature is valued by community members and thought of as essential for their well-being, are you more likely to ensure you’re collectively taking good care of it? Communities play an important role in how they model the value held in protecting nature for future generations who come to live in those places. When I travel to small and large communities here in B.C., a common response parents give about why they moved there has to do with nature. They say they live in a certain place because of the close proximity they have with wild spaces, and they want that for their children. This gives me hope that if people truly value what nature can provide to communities and children, then maybe we will have a chance to see more IslandParent.ca
communities come together to develop something sustainable for our children and future generations. We have the capacity to build communities that are rich in nature play spaces, protection of local species, outdoor environmental education programs embedded into the education of our children. Nature play time provides a place for being with friends, parents, elders, aunties and uncles from the community. It also provides a place for nature to be part of a child’s development. The benefits of spending time outside include decreased anxiety and depression, improved mood, increased flexibility and even improved vision.
Kirsten Dallimore Nature Notes This winter, I encourage you to go out for a nature scavenger hunt or play a nature-based game. A great game I play with students is the webbing game. It teaches kids about the delicate balance and intricate dependency that all living things have with one another. The game becomes more challenging when there is something missing from part of the ecosystem. For example, if the salmon population is decreasing in a community because of overfishing, then the population of bears and trees and plants in the forest are drastically impacted. Playing this game challenges kids to ask the difficult question, how is my community part of protecting nature for my lifetime and the future generations to come? It also reminds us that we all have a role to play to keep the web within our community from falling apart. On Sierra Club BC’s website, the “Parents” page features instructions on how to play the webbing game, resources for nature-based scavenger hunts and other interactive activities you can do outdoors with your kids or kids in your community. Visit sierra. club.bc.ca/parents.
Kirsten Dallimore is an Environmental Educator with Sierra Club B.C. IslandParent.ca
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FAMILY SERVICES Directory The Family Services Directory features not for profit agencies and organizations serving children, youth and families. 1Up, Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre (1-up.ca) provides support, education and resources for parents in the Greater Victoria area through free counselling, volunteer training, a mentoring program for single moms, and a support group for dads, as well as a variety of integrated life skills and parenting courses which are open to the whole community, with fees on a sliding scale. For single parent members, the Centre provides free toys and books, a clothing room and bread pantry. Donations of gently-used clothing, small household items, and toys are welcome. Hours: Mon., Tue., Thu., Fri.: 9–4, & Wednesdays: 12–7. Location: 602 Gorge Road East. Phone: 250-385-1114. Beacon Community Services is a communitybased, non-profit agency dedicated to helping people and improving lives on southern Vancouver Island and the southern Gulf Islands. Beacon thrift shops fund important LOCAL community services and programs. Beacon also offers: child, youth and family services (including the Peninsula Early Years Centre and child care); counselling; employment services and training for people of all ages; home support care; volunteer services and opportunities; affordable housing/care/supports for seniors and people with disabilities. For Home Support, please call 250-658-6407. For other programs: 250-6560134. beaconcs.ca. Beacon Community Services Employment Programs. Beacon Community Services offers a full menu of employment services on the Saanich Peninsula and Gulf Islands. We’ve been helping people find work since 1982! Our programs build on a person’s strengths and resolve barriers to finding and keeping employment. We also work with our employer network to support job seekers. Need help finding a job? Need employees? Contact us for FREE assistance! 9860 Third St. Sidney. 250656-0134. beaconcs.ca. Boys & Girls Club Services offer after-school and evening social, educational and recreational programming for children and youth at 5 locations (Colwood, Langford, VicWest, Central Saanich and Esquimalt) and summer camps both in Esquimalt and at our Outdoor Centre in Metchosin. We also offer support to parents through our Parents Together program and parent workshops. For more information on all programs and services visit bgcvic.org or call 250-384-9133. 44 Island Parent Magazine
children, youth and adults on a sliding fee scale. Call us at 250-386-4331 or visit fsgv.org. We can help. HappyBaby Sleep Solutions helps families create healthy sleep habits in babies and children so everyone is well rested and happy. Sukkie Sandhu, M.Ed., has worked with hundreds of families locally in Victoria and worldwide. Sukkie is a Registered Clinical Counsellor so the cost of a sleep consultation may be covered under your extended medical plan. For more information visit happybabysleepsolutions.com or call 250-857-1408 for a FREE evaluation. Let’s get started!
Canucks Autism Network (CAN) provides yearround sports and recreation programs for children, youth, young adults and families living with autism. Programs in Victoria, Nanaimo and Cowichan Valley include Intro to Physical Activity, Intro to Soccer & Basketball, Swim, Skate, Social Events (fall, winter and spring), Overnight Camp (summer), and Family Events (year-round). For more information, visit canucksautism.ca.
Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria (ICA) is a registered charity and nonprofit helping individuals and organizations to connect across cultures. Programs offered include immigrant and refugee services, parenting programs, employment services, interpretation and translation, diversity workshops and training, English language training, volunteer placements, youth programs and tutoring, seniors groups, and inter-cultural arts programming. CHOICES Adoption & Counselling is a licensed, Located at 930 Balmoral Road, 250-388-4728 info@ professional, non-profit agency that provides icavictoria.org, icavictoria.org. services to adoptive parents, birth-parents, and adoptees. CHOICES arranges adoptions domesti- LDABC The Learning Curve (previously The cally and internationally. We are committed to pro- Learning Disabilities Assn.) supports, educates and viding a comprehensive, client-centered adoption advocates for children with learning disabilities and service which best meets the needs of everyone related challenges. Individual and group support, in the adoption constellation. Please contact us at education and consultation is available for children, choices@choicesadoption.ca, or call 250-479-9811 youth, parents, caregivers and professionals. Please for further information. visit our website @ ldasvi.bc.ca or call us for more information or to book an appointment: 250-370-9513. Dialogue and Resolution Services (DRS) is the South Island’s only non-profit specializing in alter- Sooke-West Shore Early Years Centres provide native conflict resolution for both civil and family information to families about children and family matters. Offering quality, professional mediation, services, supports, child development and parentcoaching and parent coordination in a supportive ing. The Early Years Navigator will assist families environment for families, co-parents, co-workers with referral information for local early years proand neighbours, DRS works with clients to help gramming, child care, public health, special needs them create lasting, effective solutions. DRS also intervention services, and social supports. The offers its flagship “Communicating through Conflict” Sooke-West Shore Early Years Centres are hosted workshop series quarterly both days and evenings by Sooke Family Resource Society and located at throughout the year. Find us at 250-383-4412 or the Child, Youth, and Family Centres in both Sooke dialogueandresolutionservices.ca. and the West Shore and can be reached at 250217-9243. Additional information can be accessed at sfrs.ca/early-years-centre.
FAMILY SERVICES OF GREATER VICTORIA
Family Services of Greater Victoria (formerly BC Families in Transition) is a non profit agency that has been serving families since 1978. We provide a full range of services to the whole family in supporting their relationship and through separation and divorce. Counseling, mediation, legal information and a range of group programs are available for
Victoria Immigrant and Refugee Centre Society (VIRCS) supports immigrants and refugees living in Greater Victoria. Services are free and include oneon-one counselling, parent education workshops, youth life skills classes, a preschool program, art therapy, language classes and academic support, employment help, computer classes and fun community events like free yoga, tai chi, dance and cooking classes. Visit us online at vircs.bc.ca or phone 250-361-9433.
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Take Healthy Action Island Parent for Your Family Vancouver Island’s
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January 2019
D
o you want to be more active as a family, get more hours of sleep, and reduce screen time? Assuming you’re a parent, you’ve just answered a resounding “yes” to this question. You’re not alone. January is a time when many of us make resolutions to embrace a healthy lifestyle. But translating these intentions into behaviour is no easy feat. In fact, the majority of parents have the best of intentions to support child and youth health behaviours, yet many fail to provide this support. This phenomenon has been termed the intention-behaviour gap. Dr. Rhodes and the research team at the University of Victoria’s Behavioural Medicine Lab, who specialize in physical activity and health research primarily among families, have developed a framework to address the disconnect between intentions and behaviours. This framework, known as Multi-Process Action Control (M-PAC) was recently applied to understand parental support of the 24-Hour Movement Guidelines for Children and Youth. This research shows that while most parents intend to support their child, physical activity support has a particularly steep decline in translating those intentions into action. The most important takeaway from this work, says Dr. Rhodes, is that “intervening on factors for both the formation of an intention to support child health behaviors and the translation of that intention are pivotal to success.” The benefits of physical activity for children are far-reaching and irrefutable. Yet, despite convincing evidence, it is still difficult for parents to support child health behaviours such as physical activity. According to Dr. Rhodes, parents understand the importance of child health behaviours and know it is beneficial to provide support to their children, but this knowledge is not sufficient for parents to take action. On the bright side, certain practices may facilitate success in translating intentions into actions. To this end, Dr. Rhodes emphasizes that “what makes parents successful is the formation of master planning strategies, the development of entrenched habits, and the eventual formation of an identity as a healthy family.” IslandParent.ca
These strategies are incorporated into the physical activity promotion approach used by the research team at the Behavioural Medicine Lab. In explaining how M-PAC can help support child and youth health behaviours, Dr. Rhodes states “MPAC separates three key factors that all contribute to the successful translation of intentions into actual action: high quality motivation (enjoyment), self-regulation strategies (master planning and reflection), and the ability to make healthy behavior a reflex action (habit formation, identity formation).”
Stina Grant The approach developed by Dr. Rhodes may offer insight into how parents can successfully foster positive intentions into healthy behaviours. This New Year, as you take action to become more active as a family, consider making a concrete plan, anticipating obstacles, forming habits, and embracing a healthy family identity. In accordance with the M-PAC approach, Dr. Rhodes says the number one thing parents can do to help translate physical activity intentions into behaviours is to “Start with a realistic and detailed analysis of the situation. Reflect on past obstacles and plan for success with a routine.” Another way to get more active this New Year is to get involved with a study aimed at promoting family physical activity or parental well-being. The UVic Behavioural Medicine Lab has various opportunities to do so. If you have a child between three and 12 who you believe could benefit from increasing their physical activity, contact bml@uvic.ca to enroll in a study. Stina Grant is a Research Coordinator and MSc Candidate at the Behavioural Medicine Lab at the University of Victoria. She is passionate about active living and health promotion.
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Plunge into the New Year
E
very year since we have lived on the Island (five years now), I have subjected myself to the Polar Bear Plunge. Every year since my son could talk he has asked if he can do it with me. Last year I finally said yes. At age four, he was the youngest participant in the 2018 Polar Bear Plunge at the Esquimalt Lagoon.
that your past mistakes are washed away as you renew yourself for the year ahead. My son has the same cold tolerance that I do. He often gets wet year round in the ocean just like I do. At age two, while we were collecting sea glass in Sidney, I looked down for one second and a wave got him wet from head to toe. Another time he was
I love cold water. The first year we lived on the Island I swam in the ocean once a month every month for a year—without a wetsuit. I even tested the water temperature each month and it was always around 8 or 9 degrees Celsius. I admit that when you first enter the water, it can be hard to breathe, but then you get used to it. The plunge is always worth the reward. After my swim, I feel elated and rejuvenated. It is also believed
running and slipped into a pond. During a downpour, he refuses wear a rain coat. He asks all year round to play with water balloons and turn the tap on outside. Did I mention that I had a water birth for this child? The water was warm for that though! I was ecstatic that a member of my family had agreed to do the plunge with me. We put on our swimsuits, watershoes, and housecoats, and then drove to the Lagoon. Once it was time to take the plunge, my son had second thoughts.
The Civic Orchestra of Victoria civicorchestraofvictoria.org Joe Music joemusic.ca Lori Frank Mediation & Consulting lorifrankmediation.com Phoenix Theatre phoenixtheatres.ca Royal BC Museum royalbcmuseum.bc.ca Victoria Children’s Choir VictoriaChildrensChoir.ca Victoria Conservatory of Music vcm.bc.ca Enquire about non-profit brochure or magazine distribution in Greater Victoria:
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“It’s too cold. I can’t do it,” he said. We are not backing out now, I thought. There is a time and place to quit, but it is not now. “We can do this,” I reassured him. “It will be fast and fun and then we can go have hot chocolate.” Good old bribery. “Fine, he said.” So I picked him up and we ran in and ran out. I dunked my head under, but I held him up so he was only wet up to his shoulders. Afterwards, the rest of our family—who were wearing their
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Serena Beck Is There an App for This? toques and mitts and stayed safely on the beach—wrapped us up in towels and helped us dry off before we put our robes back on. We took our hot chocolates to go and went home for a hot bath. In hindsight, I think my son was glad he did it. Sometimes you just need a little encouragement to take the plunge. I asked my son if he would do it again. “No,” he said. But we’ll see—maybe the promise of hot chocolate might work again this year!
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Sidney: Lochside Drive (just down from Tulista Park) at noon. Colwood: Esquimalt Lagoon at noon. Ladysmith: Transfer Beach, 11am-1pm, plunge at noon. Parksville: Parksville Beach, registration at 11:30am, plunge at noon.
Serena Beck works full-time as a Technical Writer. She loves to write, travel, and swim with her 3 children. IslandParent.ca
January 2019 47
PRESCHOOL & CHILD CARE Directory If you’d like to be listed in the Preschool & Child Care Directory, please email sales@islandparent.ca COLWOOD/LANGFORD
Licenced group childcare for children ages 12 months to 5 years old. Open 6:30am-5:30pm. Leap Forward Dance School offers weekday and Saturday dance classes for children ages 2 and up. 2758 Peatt Road, Langford
Recreation Oak Bay.................................250-370-7200 Fully licensed, ECE Daycare, Preschool and Nature Preschool. Play based, child led learning. Afterschool care available.
HIGHLANDS
SAANICH Nestled on 4 acres of lush west Coast forest ,our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint! While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day. Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit bear Lodge located right next door! Programs for Infants/Toddlers and PreKindergarten children.
• Half day and Full day Preschool Programs • Children’s learning is nurtured and supported through exploration, discovery, play and creative expression 3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC
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Coastline Montessori Childcare............... 250-881-6318 Experience an educational hands on learning environment for infants, toddlers and preschool age. Half-day program offered. Located in Langford off Latoria Rd. coastlinemontessori@shaw.ca.
METCHOSIN
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West-Mont Montessori School.................250-474-2626 Exceptional preschool Montessori instruction in a beautiful natural environment. Ages 30 months and up. Providing a balanced approach to incorporating French, Music, Art and Nature. Stop by and experience what it is like to be part of a community devoted to the development of the whole child. Open House: Thursdays 9-11 am. west-mont.ca.
Carrot Seed Preschool.............................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com. Cordova Bay Preschool........................... 250-658-3441 A bright and cheerful parent participation preschool with a philosophy of learning through play. 4 yr olds - M/W/F 9:151:15; 3 yr olds - T/Th 9:15-12:15. cordovabaypreschool.org.
ESQUIMALT Ciara Early Childhood Centre...................250-386-7369 Education and Fun Hand in Hand! Exceptional care for ages 1-5yrs. Inclusive nature inspired kindergarten readiness program with Christian values. Facebook.com/ CiaraEarlyChildhoodCentre. Island Kids Academy Esquimalt...............250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca. La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool......250-479-0292 A French Immersion Preschool Program. 30 months to school age. Licensed Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.
Camosun College Child Care Services........250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.
Metchosin Cooperative Preschool................................. Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin. Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds. Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.
NORTH SAANICH In The Garden Childcare Centre.............. 250-654-0306 A GREAT PLACE TO GROW. Offering preschool, full day care, before and after school care for children aged 2.5 to 12 years old. Open all year. Now offering Infant and Toddler Care.
OAK BAY Emmanuel Preschool.............................. 250-598-0573 Children learn through play in our non-denominational Christian preschool near UVic. Bright attractive setting. emmanuelpreschool.ca. Gonzales Co-op Preschool....................... 250-727-1003 Children use imaginations in a Learning through Play classroom and natural playground. Reggio-Emilia inspired, focus is on art, nature and music. Nurturing, highly qualified ECE and ECE assistant. Parent participation options. Allergy aware. gonzalescooppreschool.com.
• Licensed 2.5 hr and 4 hr programs, flexible part-time classes • Qualified ECEs offer play-based programs that stimulate curiosity and imagination and support optimum growth and development. Supported spaces available. • Indoor and outdoor programming, community visitors and special activities provide opportunities for learning through play and exploration. Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 saanichneighbourhoodplace.com
Island Montessori House.....................250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com. Lambrick Park Preschool & Childcare........ 250-477-8131 Gordon Head’s parent-participation preschool and childcare center. Flexible hours M-F 9am-3pm & drop-ins offered. Play based learning and outdoor play. Allergy friendly. Celebrating 40 years. lambrickparkpreschool.ca. Oakcrest Preschool................................ 250-472-0668 A welcoming, nurturing environment with a large, bright facility. Learn through play with 2 caring ECEs. oakcrestpreschool.org. Ready Set Grow Preschool....................... 250-472-1530 Inside Hillcrest Elm. in Gordon Head, we help children transition to Kindergarten. Licensed Preschool with highly qualified, warm ECE. heoscmanager@gmail.com. St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre.............. 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through playbased and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment.
Looking for child care? Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit? Taking care of children? Need child care training?
Child Care
Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC
Your community’s best source of child care information and resources.
48 Island Parent Magazine
Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources. Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-391-4324 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273
vancouverislandccrr.ca ccrr.bc.ca
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Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532 Educational Excellence to the Glory of God Wiseways Preschool & Daycare........... 250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.
VICTORIA
VIEW ROYAL Island Kids Academy View Royal.............250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca. View Royal Childcare...............................250-479-8067 Preschool structured, high quality childcare. Victoria Conservatory of Music classes. Part time spaces available. 2.5-5year olds. viewroyalpreschool@live.com. View Royal Preschool..............................250-479-8067 Exciting inclusive program in a safe and exceptional care environment. 3-5 year olds. Outside play and themes enrich this program. Full/part-time spaces available. viewroyalpreschool.com.
DUNCAN
Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre...... 250-701-0433 Our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment. Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool..............250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.
CHEMAINUS St. Joseph’s Preschool..............................250-246-3191 An enriching preschool program allowing children to grow as individuals in a safe and nurturing Christian environment.
NANAIMO
ASPENGROVE SCHOOL
Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12
v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 8 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities
Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca
N A N A I M O ’ S J K -12 I N T E R N AT I O N A L B ACC A L AU R E AT E W O R L D S C H O O L
www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 Castleview Child Care............................. 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com. Centennial Day Care............................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca. Christ Church Cathedral Childcare and Junior Kindergarten.......................... 250-383-5132 ECE and Specialist teachers provide an outstanding all-day, licensed program for 3–5 year olds. Spacious, renovated facility with a huge backyard in Fairfield. cathedralschool.ca. Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd.....................250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com. Arts/ Drama programme. kidsworks.ca. Rainbow Express Daycare....................... 250-382-2314 A nurturing environment for children to learn through play and discovery in a natural setting. ECEs and specialist teachers. rainbowexpressdaycare.com. Close to city centre. Ross Bay Preschool.................................250-383-7445 Our positive and supportive program motivates children to learn, discover and grow through play. Contact us for a tour of our little blue school! The Sir James Douglas Playschool.......... 250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. Victoria Montessori................................ 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open yr. round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.
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International Montessori Academy of Canada................................................. 250-737-1119 Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca. Parkside Academy..................................... 250-746-1711 Providing high quality early learning and care from infancy to 12 years of age, in a stimulating, respectful, nurturing, nature based environment with fully educated and passionate early childhood educators. Visit parksideacademy.ca or find us on Facebook. Queen Margaret’s School.......................... 250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.
QUALICUM BEACH Children’s Discovery Centre.....................250-752-4343 A nurturing, safe and creative learning environment. Licensed preschool, group care and out of school care. Early Childhood Educators. childrensdiscovery centre.ca. childrensdiscoverycentre@hotmail.com. Little Star Children’s Centre.....................250-752-4554 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca
PORT ALBERNI John Paul II Catholic School.....................250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.
instagram.com/cloe.thomson “Hi, I’m Cloe! Mama to three, wife to the love of my life, and West-coast dweller. I am indecisive, redecorate weekly, and am a major procrastinator. No, my life isn’t perfect, but neither is motherhood. It’s a journey. It’s a continuum of finding the perfect within the imperfect. My goal in sharing our lives through social media is to create and foster a sense of community; to connect with like-minded people; to make this sometimes isolating experience less lonely. Motherhood is a funny thing. It can be exhausting and rewarding. You may be laughing one moment and sobbing the next. You may find yourself wishing the day away, then wondering how it went so quickly. Join me as we navigate these waters together; finding the beauty amongst the chaos.”
January 2019 49
Perinatal Depression & Anxiety
Healthy Families, Happy Families
Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt Gulf Islands
250-519-5311 250-539-3099
(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)
Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-642-5464 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490
Central Island Health Units Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/ Qualicum
250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-755-3342
Port Alberni Tofino
250-731-1315 250-725-4020
250-947-8242
North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071
viha.ca/prevention_services/ 50 Island Parent Magazine
D
epression and anxiety are common during pregnancy and after the baby’s birth. In fact, about one in five people feel depressed or anxious within the first year of giving birth. And perinatal depression/anxiety doesn’t just affect the person who gave birth—sometimes the partners of people with perinatal depression also feel depressed, which can affect the whole family. There are many reasons why people develop depression and/or anxiety during pregnancy or after birth. Changes in hormone levels can contribute to depression/ anxiety, a past history of depression/anxiety, stressful life events or difficult relationships can all have impact. The enormous changes that a new baby brings to home life can also be a contributing factor. The symptoms of perinatal depression/ anxiety are varied and each person experiences it differently. Symptoms can include feeling sad, empty and helpless; feelings of guilt, worthlessness and hopelessness; loss of interest and pleasure in activities enjoyed in the past; decreased energy, feelings of fatigue; changes in sleep or appetite; restlessness and irritability; difficulty concentrating; having frightening thoughts about harming the baby; and possibly thoughts of death or suicide. Just as there are many symptoms of depression/anxiety during pregnancy or after the birth, there are also many things people can do to manage symptoms. Many people experiencing these symptoms know something is wrong but don’t ask for help, as they may feel ashamed or embarrassed. Sharing feelings and experiences with trusted loved ones, whether family or friends, does help. Self care is an important goal when someone has depression/anxiety. The “NESTS” model is often recommended as a way of promoting areas of self care. ‘N’ stands for Nutrition. Some find that snacking on healthy food throughout the day is easier than sitting down to a large meal. Try to stock your cupboards and fridge with healthy ready-to-eat or easily prepared foods. Don’t forget to take the multivitamin recommended by your health professional. Canada’s Food Guide makes
excellent recommendations and is available at most health units throughout Vancouver Island. ‘E’ stands for Exercise. Regular physical activity is related to improved mental and physical well-being. Focus on exercise that you enjoy and keep in mind that regular short periods of exercise are better than irregular long periods. Even simple activities such as going for a walk can help you feel better.
Hilary Planden CH ILD YOUTH & FAMILY PUBLIC H E ALTH
Happy Families, Healthy Families
‘S’ stands for Sleep/Rest. Try to get as much rest as possible. This can be very challenging with the never-ending demands of a baby or the discomfort of pregnancy. However, it’s important as rest is vital for brain health. Ask if any family or friends can babysit while you have a nap. ‘T’ stands for Time for Self. People suffering from perinatal depression or anxiety should try to be good to themselves. Postpone the laundry and have a quiet time instead. Sometimes just ten minutes is enough to have a cup of tea and take a breather. Keeping expectations realistic is also important. ‘S’ stands for Support. Support can come from friends, family or professionals and can be in whatever form is most helpful to the person who needs it. It is also recommended that people consult with their family physician or midwife if they are feeling emotionally unwell. Health professionals can provide the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) to anyone between 28 and 32 weeks in pregnancy as well as after the birth of the baby. This questionnaire helps to identify a risk for depression and provides the opportunity to put support and treatment in place if needed. Child, Youth and Family Public Health also has a role to play in supporting perinatal families. Public Health Nurses call families IslandParent.ca
six weeks after the birth of the baby to check in and offer the EPDS. If contact was not made at six weeks the EPDS is offered during the two-month immunization appointment. If it appears there is a risk of depression or anxiety, referrals can be made to counselors and/or support groups throughout Vancouver Island. Online resources can also be provided. If there is a risk of harm to self or others, immediate action is necessary. Call the family physician, midwife or Vancouver Island Crisis Line at 1-888-494-3888 for urgent support and treatment. Many families experience perinatal depression and anxiety. There is no need for anyone to suffer alone or in silence as there are many sources of support and information available.
Perinatal Depression/Anxiety Information Sessions Public Health Nursing will be offering three free Perinatal Depression/Anxiety Information Sessions on depression/anxiety in pregnancy and after the birth of the baby. Anyone experiencing depression/ anxiety and / or their support network are all very welcome to attend. Dates • January 10, 2019: Overview of Depression/Anxiety (what is it, what helps) • January 17, 2019: Focus on Depression (what is it, what helps)
Could your child be a Cathedral Chorister?
Christ Church Cathedral School is currently accepting applications from boys and girls aged 6 to 8. Generous scholarships available. Voice trials will begin in January. The great choral tradition of Anglican cathedrals is renowned, and a wonderful opportunity exists today for your child to become part of this ancient tradition of musical excellence. The Chorister Program is open to boys and girls from Grade 4 to Grade 8. Students who are accepted as cathedral choristers will receive a generous scholarship toward their school fees, in addition to an outstanding music education. More at cathedralschool@cathedralschool.ca
Quadra St at Rockland, Victoria christchurchcathedral.bc.ca
Tyee Aquatic Club
SWIMMING IS FOR LIFE! Offering programs for everyone! AT CRYSTAL POOL IN VICTORIA
Pre-competitive ages 3–12, Youth Fun & Fitness ages 12–18 and Competitive programs
AT SEAPARC IN SOOKE
Pre-competitive ages 7–12 and Competitive programs.
NOT SURE WHAT LEVEL YOU ARE?
Contact us to set up an assessment to find the best fit for you!
info@tyeeaquaticclub.com www.tyeeaquaticclub.com
• January 24, 2019: Focus on Anxiety (what is it, what helps) Details Time: 6:30–8 p.m. Location: Royal Oak Neighbourhood House, 4525 West Saanich Road To Register: Please call the Saanich Health Unit at 250-519-5100
Hilary Planden is a Clinical Coordinator at the Saanich Health Unit for Child, Youth and Family Community Health, Island Health IslandParent.ca
January 2019 51
The 12-Year Challenge
I
n elementary school I was terrified of Styrofoam: those experiments where hunks of it were buried in the soil, then dug up a year later looking none the worse for wear. I imagined mountains of it top-
We ate at McDonalds about once a year—on annual up-Island road trips. We ordered pancakes in long white Styrofoam trays, trays we then threw into the garbage, contributing to the Styrofoam peaks. I
pling, covering every inch of the planet. Activists called for a revolution: those eating at McDonalds should demand their hamburgers be served on napkins, rather than in the standard yellow foam boxes.
wanted to ask for my pancakes on a napkin, but it seemed silly. Instead, I just felt guilty. I assuaged my guilt by being a passionate recycler. In the 80s, recycling boxes were two carboard boxes in our classrooms—one for
52 Island Parent Magazine
coloured paper, the other for white. Juice boxes and plastic were still thrown in the garbage, but every time I cleaned out my desk and put crumpled pieces of loose-leaf in the recycling box, I took solace in the fact that I was doing my part for the earth. I was naïve, and I was lucky for it. Before Angus was born, Mike and I went to a photography exhibition in London. The images were from the Gaza Strip, and we watched a man tour the show with his preschooler on his shoulders. He explained each photograph and the politics behind it; he answered every question with complete honesty. I was in awe, and also decided: that was the type of parent I would be. Today, in many ways, that is the type of parent I am. Mike and I discuss politics with Angus. We answer honestly the questions he asks—about things he hears on the radio news, things he reads in magazines. But now I’m conflicted. Is it better to be honest, or to let Angus enjoy the naïvety of childhood, just as I did? To turn off the radio and pretend the world is a safe and secure place, and that it will always be so. That doing just a little bit—a recycled paper here and there—is doing enough. For today’s children, anxiety disorders
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are commonplace, with numbers ranging from one out of every 20 kids, to one out of 10. It’s not surprising. They have so many more ways of accessing information, and so much more to be worried about.
ATTRACTIONS, ACTIVITIES & FAM
ILY FUN!
Laura Trunkey Maternity & Beyond The UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has declared that we have 12 years to stall global warming at a rise of 1.5C. Failing to do so will lead to increased droughts, floods and forest fires; the eradication of corals and the thawing of the arctic; food scarcity; mass extinctions; sea level rise; hundreds of millions of climate-driven refugees. The small actions of my childhood, recycling paper, need to be replaced by larger actions, by lessening: less driving, less eating meat, consuming less in general. Still, none of that is enough. We live in a country that produces three times more greenhouse gas emissions per capita than the G20 average. We have a government that has approved new fossil fuel projects when those will only take us further away from our emission targets—targets we are nowhere close to meeting as is. This might not feel like a column about Angus, but it’s entirely about him. It is impossible to think about our changing world without thinking of what we are handing our children, what they will be left with when we are gone. The IPCC says 12 years; in 12 years Angus will be 19, officially an adult. How can I prepare him for the world he’ll be facing, but also protect his childhood? January is the time for resolutions, for taking on hard challenges. There are so many to choose from. May we all find ways to achieve change that work for us and our families. May we carve paths for our children, so that when it’s their turn to step forward they will find their way. And in the meantime, may we help them celebrate their childhoods, and remind them that the big responsibilities are ours, not theirs. At least not yet. Laura Trunkey is the mother of the amazing Angus, and the author of the story collection Double Dutch (House of Anansi, 2016). Find her at lauratrunkey.com. IslandParent.ca
Parks & Playgrounds Museums
Pick up Your Copy of the
Kids’ Guide to Vancouver Island!
Pools & Recreation Historical Sites • Entertainment & Much More
ADVERTISERS Directory 4Children.ca...........................................................15 Arbutus Grove.................................................... IFC Arc Academy of Inquiry.....................................42 Boulders Climbing Gym.................................... 37 Brookes Canada................................................ IFC Browne & Associates.........................................27 Cathedral School...........................................43, 51 Cinecenta..............................................................42 City of Victoria....................................................IBC Cowichan Theatre...............................................30 Evergreen School................................................51 Freya-Sophie Waldorf.......................................... 8 Highland Pacific...................................................30 Humeira Studios.....................................................7 Island Circus Space.............................................19 Island Montessori................................................. 17 Juan de Fuca Skating........................................38 Kaleidoscope.........................................................21 Kool & Child.......................................................... 47 Kumon Canada....................................................33 Lexie’s Little Bears..............................................26 Life Seminars........................................................35 Lifestyle Markets.................................................24 MacDonald Realty..................................................7 Mad Science.........................................................36 Magical Meadow.................................................52 Momease............................................................. IFC Mothering Touch............................................ 11–14 NeurAlive Neurofeedback Centre................34 NIL TU,O.................................................................. 17 Oak and Orca............................................... 24, 53
Pacific Christian..................................................IBC Royal BC Museum................................................19 Saanich Dental............................................. 20, 35 School District #63............................................... 8 Scouts Canada.....................................................54 Selkirk Montessori..............................................23 Serious Coffee..................................................... 37 SKAM...................................................................... 20 Smart Tutor Referrals..........................................42 St. Margarets.........................................................27 Stages............................................................. 22, 33 Sutubra....................................................................31 Swan Lake............................................................... 3 Theatre One.........................................................36 Thrifty Foods.........................................................29 TJ’s The Kiddie Store..........................................41 Tom Lee..................................................................43 Tyee Aquatic Club...............................................51 UVic Farquhar.......................................................41 Vancouver Island Psychological Services...32 VI Child Care Resource.....................................48 Victoria Academy of Ballet................................. 6 Victoria Bug Zoo..................................................43 Victoria Gymnastics.....................................47, BC Victoria Symphony..............................................39 VIHA........................................................................52 Welcome Wagon................................................... 6 Westmont Montessori........................................ 47 Westshore Dental.................................................. 5 Westshore Parks and Recreation...................28
January 2019 53
Give of Yourself
D
on’t underestimate the value of time spent with your child one-to-one. It may seem like a big order in your busy life but what really matters more? Just giving your child your presence with no agenda to teach or guide. Just enter your child’s world from time to time. This can be a way of affirming a child’s interests as they show you what they like to do. You can get curious without taking over. Spending time with your child like this is showing affection which is more than holding a child, it is saying “I am here for you, I like spending time with you.” Letting a child take the lead shows acceptance: “You don’t have to change; I love you as you are. “The three A’s: Affirming, Affection and Acceptance are the pillars of unconditional love. Have you ever noticed how differently children act when they have you
all to themselves? When there is no competition for your time with their siblings or your partner they relax into the fold of your relationship. The negative attention-getting takes a back seat and makes room for a more relatable way of engaging. This kind of exchange doesn’t need to take hours, but it does need to happen—frequently. Take random moments to show up and make yourself completely present. No phone within reach, no cluttered mind, your child will notice. As kids mature, they may want to spend less time with you, but they still need you there. They need those three A’s although it might look a little different. This is a stage of parenting that calls on everything you have so you can show up as a caring adult. One who walks away peacefully instead of getting the last word in. One who gives empathy instead of proving that
your child should have made a better choice. Spending quality time with an older child or teen means to be free of asking too many questions. Many very difficult behaviors in children disappear when parents set
Allison Rees Cut It Out! time aside to be with them and to make that time a priority. Children sense our presence and can tell when we are fully engaged with them. Spending time together not only nurtures the self-esteem of a child but also deepens the bond between parent and child. Nothing is more valuable than our connection with our children.
LIFE Seminars has two books available, Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.
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54 Island Parent Magazine
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Fit For Life Personal Training Special 10 one-on-one personally tailored workout sessions with a Certified Personal Trainer
Promotional Sale: Jan 1–15, 2019 $ 299 for 10 sessions
How to Register: Phone: 250.361.0732 In Person: Crystal Pool & Fitness Centre 2275 Quadra St.
a whole world to explore PACIFIC CHRISTIAN SCHOOL 654 Agnes St, Victoria, BC 250-479-4532 www.PacificChristian.ca
Come and explore with us!
ctoria
Gymnastics
Why Victoria Gymnastics? Unlike other gymnastics clubs, our priority is non-competitive gymnastics where all students are treated equally. Boys and girls, ages 2 through adult, beginner through advanced Morning, afternoon and evening classes seven days a week
Unlimited make-ups for missed classes Our ratio guarantee of a maximum of 8 students per instructor will provide your child with the individualized attention he or she deserves
Optional character
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Trial classes available—start any time Monthly payments with no further obligation—cancel any time
Birthday Parties & Holiday Camps
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Proudly 100% Canadian owned and operated since 1980
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Your child’s progress is monitored daily, and every 3 months, each student is awarded a medal indicating his or her progress in our new proprietary 14 level, 1400 skill program. We are a family oriented business. Classes are scheduled so that varying ages and genders can take part in different classes at the same time. Victoria Gymnastics is clean…very clean! Our facilities are ozone treated. Consistent, safe and experienced coaching in a well structured, safe and fun environment— NCCP certification coaches and First Aid.
DOWNTOWN VICTORIA
2051 Store Street
250-380-2442
Celebrating 39 Years of Excellence!
victoriagymnastics.com
NEW IN WESTSHORE
520 Mt View Avenue
778-265-6414