This &That
Avoid the Pitfalls of Being a Grandparent 1. Respect your children’s boundaries (time, privacy, etc.) and be clear about your own. 2. Keep talking—ask questions, show interest, share your own experiences or way of thinking. Don’t let misunderstandings fester and grow into resentments and grievances. 3. Be open to learn. Your children have things to teach you about parenting. Show your admiration for their parenting skills.
From “Four Pitfalls of Being a Grandparent,” written by Roberta Satow in Psychology Today, psychologytoday.com.
Not talking is so profound,” says Anne Lamott, “author of Some Assembly Required: A Journal of My Son’s First Son. “The most challenging thing [about being a grandparent] is to hold your tongue and not correct and not offer advice unless they request it. The fact that it’s their baby…is really important to me.
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Anne Lamott in “Some Assembly Required: Q&A with Anne Lamott on Grandparenting” in Time.
GRANDPARENTS RAISING GRANDCHILDREN SUPPORT GROUP
Are you are a grandparent raising your grandchildren? You are not alone. To talk with someone about resources and programs that you may not be aware of, call the province-wide GRG Information Line toll free at 1-855-474-9777. You can also find out about programs on the Island that provide opportunities to meet with other grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, along with information, support and activities. Find out more by visiting parentsupportbc.ca.
Books About Kids & 10 Ways to Connect with their Grandparents Long-distance Grandchildren
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1. The Hello, Goodbye Window. A Caldecott Medal Winner, suitable for babies, preschoolers and grade-schoolers. Written by Norton Juster, illustrated by Chris Raschka.
2. The Matchbox Diary. Good for pre-
schoolers and grade-schoolers. Written by Paul Fleischman, illustrated by Bagram Ibatoulline.
3. Coming on Home Soon. This Caldecott
honour book is suitable for grade-schoolers. Written by Jaqueline Woodson, illustrated by E.B. Lewis.
4. Miss Rumphius. This National Book
Award-winner is good for preschoolers and grade-schoolers. Written and illustrated by Barbara Cooney.
1. Use Skype or FaceTime. Video calls allow you to see each other’s expressions and surroundings; they can make you feel like you’ve actually been together. Read books, sing songs and even play games—in real time. 2. Read bedtime stories. Record yourself reading a favourite bedtime story. Then the parents can show the video to your grandkids as they follow along with the same book. 3. Send snail mail. Staying connected doesn’t have to only be done the high-tech way. Send a package every few weeks with simple contents like a colouring book or stickers, plus a note or card. 4. Have your kids display photos. A digital picture frame can showcase a variety of images. Old photos can initiate a discussion about an event like Nana’s wedding or a childhood family vacation. 5. Give a house tour. Videotape yourself in your surroundings, giving a narrative tour as you wander from room to room. Not only will your grandkids love the tour, but they’ll also feel more comfortable the next time they visit.
5. Nana in the City. This Caldecott honour
6. Share an interest. Find a website or blog you and your grandkids love, for example, or read the same book. Then you can talk about it on Skype, FaceTime, phone or email.
6. Lucky Pennies and Hot Chocolate.
7. Create a photo album. Ask your grandkids to take pictures of their day and then send them via text, email or mail. Print the photos and arrange them in an album then share them the next time you’re together.
book is good for babies and preschoolers. Written and illustrated by Lauren Castillo. Good for babies and preschoolers. Written by Carol Diggory Shields, illustrated by Hiroe Nakata.
7. Bigmama’s. Good for preschoolers and
grade-schoolers. Written and illustrated by Donald Crews. By Olivia Gentile for thegrandparenteffect.com.
16 Island Grandparent
8. Communicate “their” way—via text, email, instant messages or Facebook (as long as the grandchild is OK having a grandparent as a Facebook “friend”) or cell phone. 9. Teach something new. How to make your famous chicken soup, for example. Email the ingredients needed. Then whip it up together over Skype or FaceTime. 10. Play games. Play card games, crosswords, chess and more, all online. From 10 Ways to Connect With Long-Distance Grandparents by Stacey Feintuch at healthywomen.org.