Actually, I'm not really sure about anything.

ACTUALLY, I'M NOT REALLY SURE ABOUT ANYTHING how to take care of yourself when you'd rather not

One of these days - at least once a week - as soon as you get home rock out to your favourite songs and don't stop until your throat is raw and your knees are weak and you're heavy breathing. Not until you remember this moment, until you remember this life and the adrenaline coursing through your veins. In this moment you're cleansing yourself as all the negative feelings are evaporating from you skin; released like vapour in the air.

Breathing in rectangles can help when you are feeling scared or panicky.

if you prefer numbers, you can inhale for a count of 8, hold it for 4 and exhale for 6.

Follow the outside line – breathe in for the long side, pause at a corner, and breathe out for the short side.

i know what it’s like to think you’re okay and then find out you aren’t - it is completely devastating when it hits. and then you can’t stop crying and you’re like, where was i? where am i? i am so strong, i’ve failed, i’m awful, i’ve failed at everything. i am not as strong as people think i am. it sucks. it sucks, it sucks. i think it helps to know that you’re allowed to be weak sometimes - it’s totally okay to go home for the holidays and be a burden. lie on your mom’s lap and cry. eat all the ice cream before your sisters get to it. put off your essays and projects, you’re allowed to do that sometimes. times are tough and you need to cry. it’s okay if your eyes are puffy and your face is all swollen up and you look kinda like a raisin and holy shit, you STILL can’t stop. it’s fine. it’s fine if your pillows are soaked through. sometimes you just need to stop holding yourself together so hard. and it’s okay to stop - it’s okay to let go and just cry for a bit, even though it feels like the end of the world. you don't have to be strong all the time. that would be really fucking hard.

UPLIFTING THINGS TO WATCH free! iwatobi swim club/free! eternal summer this is like, cute anime boys - and it’s even better bc like, they’re not real boys so they're minus the bs and grossness. so like these cute anime boys go swimming and there’s a girl who loves their muscles and it’s super uplifting and happy and you just kinda wanna be friends with all of them. a+ wonderful. slings and arrows this is kinda hard to find but check watchseries.biz for it. it’s a fictional show and it’s like 18 eps long for all you commitment-phobes and each episode is an hour long and it’s super lovely. it’s about a canadian theatre company that does shakespeare plays and each season is six episodes and focuses on a different shakespeare play. truly lovely. adventure time honestly like if you’re not watching this by now why?? it’s so great. finn is a wonderful protagonist who is so unjudgmental and bmo is the cutest. one time bmo pretends to be a human by squirting toothpaste into the toilet bowl and yelling ‘PEEING’. watch this show. the mindy project there is not a single depressing moment in this show. and if there is, every single quirky character turns it into a hilarious mess like how can you not cheer up after this? it literally starts with mindy crashing her ex’s wedding. keeping up with the kardashians this is so sparkly and glamorous and bedazzled like you feel like a millionaire just watching it. also the family is silly and you’ll be entertained for hours. workaholics you’ll die of laughter omg i’m not even joking. winnie the pooh a sweet little cartoon bear deals with other really cute and personable animal characters and they're all friends and nothing awful happens.

THINK ABOUT MY PUPPY. SHE IS SLEEPING RIGHT NOW. IT IS SO, SO CUTE. SHE MAKES THESE LITTLE SNUFFLY NOISES. IF YOU NEED HELP IMAGINING HER, HERE IS A PICTURE.

it's(itokay is also okay if you are not a dog person) if you're more of a cat person, though.

make sure you take some time to hang out with your favourite scaly, feathered, or furry animal! taking care of something else can really up how you feel about yourself.

A SEARCH FOR THE HAPPY SONGS IN VAN NGUYEN'S SAD, SAD ITUNES The Resolution – Jack’s Mannequin The Hunt – AKW I Like Giants – Kimya Dawson L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. – Noah and the Whale Let’s Dance To Joy Division – The Wombats You Can't Stop Me – Andy Mineo It's Alright Now – Bombay Bicycle Club The Sun Is Rising – Britt Nicole Mind Your Manners – Chiddy Bang One Foot – Fun. It's Time and On Top of the World –Imagine Dragons Move Along – All American Rejects Last Hope – Paramore The Pretender – Foo Fighters Brave – Sara Bareilles Falling For You – The 1975

dye your hair or cut some off or cut all of it off (no hair don't care). use a different shampoo sometimes, it prevents build up and it smells nice and you might find something new you really like. get a piercing or a tattoo if you feel like it – it's okay if you don't do it spontaneously and have wanted it for months, too. (it is also perfectly fine if you get to the parlour and don't want it anymore or get a little shaky)

draw a tattoo on with eyeliner and spray it with hairspray to make it stay longer.

BODY MODIFICATIONS ARE A WAY OF RECLAIMING YOUR BODY AND LETTING GO. paint your nails different colours – they have like these metallic ones now and ones where you can put magnetic patterns into your nails, how cool is that? that's so rad.

take a bath or a shower. sometimes feeling a little cleaner can calm you down.

do your eyeliner different – or at all, if you never do. play with makeup, check out different lip colours. learn what your face looks like under the rainbow.

BASIC MEDITATION EXERCISES – start each exercise by closing your eyes and breathing slowly, and counting to ten while you regulate your breathing.

– it is okay to fall asleep after you meditate. it's also okay to meditate to get to sleep.

– use CDs or guidance tracks if you need 'em. there are lots available for free on youtube.

1. imagine yourself going slowly down some stairs into a pretty garden., or onto a beach or a forest – wherever you want. imagine exploring, and at the bottom of the garden/beach/forest there is a door and when you step through it, you are in a room full of light, whatever colour you want. the light is healing. breathe it in and feel yourself absorb it.

2. if you're in a stressful or depressing situation where you can't close your eyes, it's useful to associate colours with emotion and imagine breathing them in – breathing in white calm smoke and breathing out black anger or red anxiety or green sadness.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE.

POWER POSING

FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT You've probably seen Wonder Woman's iconic pose. This is an amazing way to stand – it encourages your cortisol levels to drop, and your testosterone levels to rise (cortisol is the hormone which induces stress, whereas testosterone keeps you calmer)! Instead of slouching in your chair with your hands in your lap, excuse yourself to the bathroom and do this for a couple of minutes for an instant pick-meup. It brings you confidence.

Using this technique in stressful situations, particularly where you don't feel like you belong – a class with a 50% participation grade, a speech, a job interview – will make you feel better in those situations.

If you want the science behind it, Amy Cuddy did a really awesome TED talk on it not too long ago.

ACTUALLY, NEITHER IS ANYBODY ELSE. AT ALL. WE PROMISE.