Prides Hollow Gazette Vol. 1

VOL.1

APRIL 2022

s w e n t s e t a l The . t n i r p o t t i f that's QUICK TIPS TO LOSE WEIGHT WHILE STILL EATING LARD.

COOKING WITH BUSTER & BETTY

USD3.40

HELP WANTED AT BUSTER'S BAIT & TACKLE

FEATURED ARTICLE: KELLY'S HAVING A STORY RETREAT! AUGUST, 2022 DECEMBER, 2022 LINK INSIDE!!!

ERMA & EULALY'S ETIQUETTE ADVICE

Kelly Swanson

Where the people stay but the gossip travels.

Just remember, you didn't hear it from me...

Because newsletters don't have to be boring.

Hey ya'll...

Kelly Swanson here, official editor of the Prides Hollow Gazette, with all the latest gossip from our tiny little town about a mile and a hair past nowhere. Whether you're one of the neighbors, or just passing through, we're glad you're here. You'll quickly see that we're just a place where the simple life is revered, ordinary heroes are appreciated, and the stories are never fancy, they're just about the people. And no matter what you're going through, we hope you realize that you're not alone. We hope your visit makes you laugh, tugs on your heart, and sends you off a little better than we found you.

Please check out our video stories on Youtube www.PridesHollow.com - or our audio stories on the Podcast https://prideshollow.buzzsprout.com (or your favorite podcast channel). You can even get your own key to the city on www.Patreon.com/kellyswanson Until then, we'll leave the light on and keep a casserole warm.

Kelly Swanson

Lost and Found: It seems we have found an unclaimed female brassiere over at Buster's Bait and Tackle on the shelf in between the boiled peanuts and Percy's Homemade Pork Rinds - which are quite tasty by the way, and currently on sale buy one get one free.

We can't for the life of us figure out how someone might have lost such an item, and would be open to your own ideas. If you need more details to formulate your opinion, it appears to be a size 40DD. It also seems to be one of those nursing brassieres with the front panels that snap open. Least that's what Skeeter is thinking. Best explanation for why this bra has run away from home, will win a prize. And if you do a video explaining your theory, you get extra points. Winner will get their submission posted in the next Gazette. Send your answers to Info@MotivationalSpeakerKellySwanson.com

Buster's

Found

Quick Tips to Lose Weight While Still Eating Lard

Because fatback is not your enemy.

Cooking with Buster and Betty

1. Eat it fast. Shove it down quick enough, and it will be like it didn't even happen.

2. Eat it in the closet. If nobody sees you, it didn't happen. Tell 'em you're meditating.

3. Go organic. If it's lard from a cow that only ate grass, you're good.

4. Just lick it. If you don't take a bite, they can't say you ate it.

Next issue: Squirrel is the new chicken.

Lost and Found: Earl has lost his teeth again. Yes, we already looked in the collection plate over at Second Baptist. And, no, Earl, we didn't think that was very funny. If you find his teeth, please bring them to bingo. And, no, there won't be a cash prize this time. That brought in too many teeth last time that weren't really Earl's.This is a picture of him with his teeth - so you can make sure you have the right ones. This is also his Match.com picture. We think it's a good one.

Swipe right ladies!

Erma & Eulaly's

Etiquette Advice

Today's Topic: Nigerian Royalty Dear Erma and Eulaly, I received an email from a very nice gentleman in Nigeria. It appears we are related, and he wants to leave me some money. What is the proper way to respond to royalty? I would not want to offend, especially since we could really use a new dishwasher.

Your fan, Betty.

Dear Betty, While we know how much fun it is getting a new dishwasher - especially the kind that is so quiet you don't even know it's running - we recommend that you decline this nice gentleman's offer. It's never polite to take money from your family.

Much love, Erma and Eulaly Would you like to submit your own question for Erma and Eulaly? Just email Info@MotivationalSpeakerKellySwanson.com And your question will be answered in the next Gazette.

OMG! Did you hear the news?

I've been begging her to do it! Her retreats are so much fun!

Kelly Rocks!

I could stand to freshen up my message!

I heard there's only room for 20 We better sign up today!

I love that I can write it off.

Want your story made over?

STORY MAGIC RETREAT: JOIN US LIVE IN THE SWANSON STORY STUDIO MAKE OVER YOUR STORY. MAKE OVER YOUR MESSAGE. WALK IN WITH GOOD, WALK OUT WITH AMAZING.

GOT A STORY THAT NEEDS TWEAKING? GOT A MESSAGE THAT NEEDS TO BE POWERED UP? WANT A LITTLE KELLY MAGIC SPRINKLED ON IT? JOIN US FOR A MAGICAL THREE-DAY LIVE AND IN-PERSON RETREAT WHERE OUR ONLY FOCUS IS ON YOU AND YOUR STORY OR MESSAGE.

Day 1 - Story Hot Seats (live on-the-spot coaching) Day 2 - Story Crafting (private, small group, and with Kelly) Day 3 - Story Filming (in a real live studio) Walk out with a finished story or message, professionally filmed.

All attendees get their finished story video shared on Kelly's social media Great for people who need help with their: Ted Talk Brand Story Elevator Pitch Signature Story Or any project up to 15 minutes in length BONUS! All attendees will receive Kelly's new online course: Persuasion Principle TM: Talk less. Sell more Online Course Valued at $497!

ADDED BONUS! Videos will be filmed with Chuck Gallagher at Primeau Productions. They are offering a 20% discount to all retreat attendees who wish to film other projects while in town.

Upcoming Retreat Dates: All retreats are identical in design. Just held on different dates.

You are welcome to sign up for more than one

August 11-13, 2022 (Thursday - Saturday) Greenville, South Carolina Location to be determined - will be a hotel near the GSP airport in SC December 8-11, 2022 (Thursday - Saturday) Greenville, South Carolina Location to be determined - will be a hotel near the GSP airport in SC

For Tickets and more details go to

www.StoryMagicRetreat.com

Until next time...just remember you didn't hear it from me.

I hope you like this new format for my newsletters. I just got tired of being traditional. Needed to break out a little bit. Thanks for playing. Will be back soon with more funnies from the small town with the big heart. Where the people stay, but the gossip travels.

Kelly Swanson