Prides Hollow Gazette Vol. 2

VOL.2

MAY 2022

s w e n t s e t a l The . t n i r p o t t i f that's

Willie's Workout Tips

KELLY SWANSON INTERVIEWED ON LOA TODAY. A LIVELY CONVERSATION ABOUT FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO HAPPY.

ERMA & EULALY'S ETIQUETTE ADVICE SQUIRREL IS THE NEW CHICKEN COOKING WITH BUSTER & BETTY

3 Quick & Easy Tips To Put More Exercise Into Your Day

PEARL'S ONLINE DATING TIPS

USD3.40

FEATURED ARTICLE:

BREAKING NEWS: ACCIDENT AT MYRLENE, VYRLENE & SHYRLENE'S HOUSE OF BEAUTY

Where the people stay but the gossip travels.

Just remember, you didn't hear it from me...

Because newsletters don't have to be boring.

Hey ya'll...

Kelly Swanson here, official editor of the Prides Hollow Gazette, with all the latest gossip from our tiny little town about a mile and a hair past nowhere. Whether you're one of the neighbors, or just passing through, we're glad you're here. You'll quickly see that we're just a place where the simple life is revered, ordinary heroes are appreciated, and the stories are never fancy, they're just about the people. And no matter what you're going through, we hope you realize that you're not alone. We hope your visit makes you laugh, tugs on your heart, and sends you off a little better than we found you. Oh, and we'll let you know what Kelly is up to also. If there's time.

Please check out our video stories on Youtube www.PridesHollow.com - or our audio stories on the Podcast https://prideshollow.buzzsprout.com (or your favorite podcast channel). You can even get your own key to the city on www.Patreon.com/kellyswanson Until then, we'll leave the light on and keep a casserole warm.

Kelly Swanson

Willie's Workout Tips 3 Quick & Easy Tips To Put More Exercise Into Your Day Park at the back of the parking lot at Clucky's Fried Chicken. Those extra steps will let you eat that sweet potato pie with no guilt.

Yell "fire" in the middle of your workday at the office. Your team will get a workout as they race out of the building.

Eat chili before a spin class. You'll burn twice the calories and sweat three times more than usual.

Cash Reward $75

Have you seen this man?

It seems that this unidentified man has been crashing swimming pool birthday parties. Not only is it rude, he's not bringing a gift. He has a birthmark on his left butt check. Don't ask us how we know. If you have seen this man, just call Beula over at the post office. She's keeping a list. And just remember - CRIME DOESN'T PAY.

Squirrel is the New Chicken

Tips to make squirrel your new go-to.

Cooking with Buster and Betty Don't worry about the rising cost of beef and chicken. Just go out into your own backyard! Here are some helpful hints.

1. No need for bullets! Not a fan of using a gun? Wade and Bo junior will help you catch it. They've got a new tater gun and a itching trigger finger. Just be sure your neighbors stay inside.

2. Make sure it's dead before you cook it. Bitsy learned that lesson the hard way, and has the missing eyelashes and the shredded curtains to prove it.

3. Don't name the squirrel ahead of time. All the crying kids around the dinner table will ruin the mood.

Next issue:

Double Dipping.

Not as dangerous as they made you think.

We tested it.

Pearl's Online Dating Tips Navigating The Profile Online dating can be fun and help you find your soul mate.

But be careful. Sometimes his words don't mean what you think! Common phrases and their real meaning.

Loves spending time with family = living in his mamma's basement with three kids and a ferret Owns his own business = selling perfume out a duffel bag in the Walmart parking lot

Likes cycling = yeah, because he has to ride his bike ever since he lost his license Likes long walks in park = hiding behind a bush with duct tape and a camera

Swipe left ladies.

Swipe left.

There has been an accident over at Myrlene Vyrlene & Shyrlene's House of Beauty.

First of all, everybody has been marked safe.

And nobody will be pressing charges. According to the sheriff, it was just an unfortunate accident.

Details are unclear at this point, but it seems that nobody was aware there had been a manufacturer's recall on Percy's Perm Powder Activator. It seems that someone broke into the Percy plant and injected some kind of toxin into the mix. We are still sorting through the Manifesto he left behind. Apparently, the criminal believed that we are all putting too much emphasis on our hair. Unfortunately, this all happened on the day before the big wedding. This will definitely affect the photographs. So if your loved one is on their way home from the beauty parlor - get prepared - and be kind. And, yes, the criminal will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. It's all fun and games 'til the hair gets messed up.

On another note: The Salon has made a new policy that service poodles will no longer be allowed to get pedicures. You can thank Fiona for that.

Pillow Talk Couples Bedroom Etiquette Is there such a The answer is Yes. thing as too many According to the latest Gallup decorative pillows? Poll, pillows that take up more

than half the bed, can be seen from the other end of the hallway, and require their own furniture to store them at night, are considered too many. There you have it. Trust the science.

Listen in on this engaging conversation about finding joy through the Law of Attraction.

Pick the platform you want.

Episode Page: https://www.loatoday.net/loa1716-kelly-swanson-motivates-withstories Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LOA.Today/videos/548654596605909 YouTube: https://youtu.be/sZ1Zy6xpCTQ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/video/event/urn:li:ugcPost:6931953578739 695616/

Walt Thiessen LOA Today

Laugh Break

Wish you had a mask that could do more than just keep out germs - but could actually MUTE people? Well now you can!

The Maskinator

Don't just protect the ones you love. MUTE them!

Click on the TV to watch the commercial!

Soundproof Masks can be purchased over at Buster's Bait & Tackle.

(Beside the worms.)

Do you need to write a fantastic BRAND STORY that sells you in an authentic persuasive way?

Join us at the Story Magic Retreat We focus on YOUR STORY for three days.

Then we Film it. And then we help you share it!

20% off Coupon!

This coupon entitles you to 20% off of one of the following services that Kelly offers: Story Magic Retreat Private Coaching Session In Person Keynote/Workshop Email info@storyimpactacademy.com to redeem this coupon

Laugh Break

Hi. I'm Kelly.

I believe the secret to living a life that lights us up, and having more influence in our world, is a reflection of the story we write. I'm here to help you live a StoryDriven Life.

Laughing the whole way.

MotivationalSpeakerKellySwanson.com StoryImpactAcademy.com WhoHijackedMyFairyTale.com

Has someone hijacked your fairy tale? Are you struggling to write a new story? Time for a Resilience Reset? Ready to Reinvent, Reinvigorate, and Reimagine your future? Could you use a lot of humor, and a little hope along the way? Then follow Kelly as she takes you on a hilarious, hopeful, and powerful journey through the

Story Driven Life Because if you want to change your life, you need to change your story.

Creating Moments That Matter.

One Story At A Time.

Bring the Keynote to your Event!

Today's Fortune Cookie Message For the one who needs to hear it.

ore than you M . e e s n a c u o this more than y agine. I know You are loved im n e v e n a c nd re than you o made you. A know. And mo h w e n o e th cause I know to be true. Be doesn't lie. e H d n A . o s id He sa

Erma & Eulaly's

Etiquette Advice

Today's Topic: Gifts That Make You Cringe Dear Erma and Eulaly, I received a wedding gift that I hate. My mother-in-law gave me a ceramic rooster centerpiece, and says it belongs on my dining room table. She comes over all the time! What should I do? It's awful. I don't want it on my table for company to see!

From Worried On Walnut Street Dear Worried On Walnut Street, While we can feel your pain, we also know how much it matters to please your mother-in-law. We're afraid the rooster will have to be displayed if you want to make her happy and create harmony. We also recommend that you give her a ceramic family of possums playing banjos for Christmas. And tell her it's supposed to go on her dining room table. There's one on sale right now at the flea market. We've got it on hold for you. Keep us posted on how that turns out.

Much love,

Erma and Eulaly

Would you like to submit your own question for Erma and Eulaly? Just email Info@MotivationalSpeakerKellySwanson.com And your question will be answered in the next Gazette.

Break In Over at Bert And Erma's!

Until next time...just remember you didn't hear it from me.

I hope you like this new format for my newsletters. I just got tired of being traditional. Needed to break out a little bit. Thanks for playing. Will be back soon with more funnies from the small town with the big heart. Where the people stay, but the gossip travels.

Kelly Swanson

MotivationalSpeakerKellySwanson.com StoryImpactAcademy.com WhoHijackedMyFairyTale.com PridesHollowTheaterShow.com https://www.facebook.com/MotivationalSpeakerKellySwanson https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeaker1/ https://www.instagram.com/kelly_swanson_speaker/ https://twitter.com/motivationspkr https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxJ-_s6URKYlK6bOv1DCqeA