AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014
Orchestrating Charity
FREE IREADLOLA.COM
COVER STORY p. 9 A Charity Destined to Thrive… Charity Prestifillipo
ABOUT A GIRL p. 14 The Charitable Adventures of Vicky Wallace
Your Reason, Your Race. Impacting Lives Locally RIVERSIDE COUNTY
SAN BERNARDINO COUNTY
C O A C H E L L A VA L L E Y
HIGH DESERT
R
Registration Open Now for Individuals and Teams
16th Annual Susan G. Komen Inland Empire
Race for the Cure
速
Sunday, October 19, 2014 Promenade Temecula TH
ANNUAL
951.676.RACE (7223)
www.KomenIE.org
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014
Photo of Charity Prestifillipo taken by Denise Kramer Photography at Leonesse Winery, Temecula.
IN THIS ISSUE
CONTACT US
7 COOL STORY Fitness & Fun on Wheels
To submit letters, inquiries, photos, email: ireadlola@lolamagazine.com
9 COVER STORY A Charity Destined to Thrive
For advertising information, contact David Mains 951.319.4000 marketing@lolamagazine.com
12 WOMEN’S WELLNESS Yoga, Traditional Chinese Medicine … and You?
Read LoLa Online: ireadlola.com Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/ireadlola Follow us on Twitter: @ireadlola
13 INNER FASHIONISTA Top Trends to Breeze into Fall 14 ABOUT A GIRL Vicky Wallace 16 SHE SAID/HE SAID 17 BUSINESS SAVVY Kellee Spillman
Fun on Wheels
p. 7
19 SINGLE IN THE VALLEY 20 TAMMY’S TABLE High Protein, High Fiber Breakfast Cereal 21 GIRLS NEXT DOOR Local Ladies Strike a Pose for LoLa Magazine Cover photo by Denise Kramer 4•
August/September 2014
Realtor Kellee Spillman
p. 17
VE A S
% 20
en
wh
you
re
xpi
is
t th
sen pre
4.
5/1
E ad.
/1 s9
26305 Jefferson Ave. Suite K, Murrieta CA 92563
www.itcbeauty.com August/September 2014 • 5
A WORD FROM THE PUBLISHER Best Summer Ever Driving down the 15 a few days ago, scanning the radio, I hear Bryan Adams’ “Summer of ’69.” Though I wasn’t even born in the summer of ’69, I stop everything and sing along whenever I hear that song. It’s such a relatable song because everyone has a summer they think of as their best summer ever. For me it was the summer of ‘93. I was 18 years old and had just graduated from high school. I wasn’t the most popular kid in school. As a matter of fact, I had just two girlfriends and I really can’t remember much about anyone else in my class. So turning 18 and graduating opened a whole new world of friendships and adventures. Two weeks after graduating, I moved to Germany where I had spent most of my summers with my dad after he and my mom divorced. His way of parenting and my mom’s were at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. With my mom, I was very sheltered and there were so many rules and consequences. My dad’s philosophy has always been more … “Go! Explore! Learn! You’ll figure it out and if you have any questions, I’m here.” When I arrived in Germany, my dad bought me a little used Geo. It was a manual shift, which I had never driven. He pretty much put me on the Autobahn and said, “If you don’t drive, you’re going to get hit by a car.” So that summer I learned to drive a stick shift. The friends I made that summer were awesome. I found out that who I was in high school was not the person my new friends saw. They didn’t care so much that I’d rather study than hang out, and they didn’t care that my sense of style was a little off. We were young and trying to figure ourselves out, so we accepted each other and appreciated the fact that we were all just figuring it out together. My friend Cynthia was an au pair for one of my neighbors. She was from Hungary, and spoke English and German really well. My friend Susan was from Greece and she had been living in Germany since she turned 13. She spoke Greek, English, and some broken German. My friend Mereika was German and studying to be a nurse. She spoke German and English. I was in my first year of college and learning German. We would meet up a couple nights a week, and Mereika would always drive because she knew all the cool spots to hang out. Sometimes we’d drive for hours just for something to eat. We’d laugh the whole way and when we arrived at our destination, we’d sit around a table and all communicate with bits and pieces of our language, and the little of each other’s languages that we understood. And when Cynthia’s sister Sylvie, who only spoke Hungarian, came to visit for a couple of weeks, we’d sit for hours and translate stories back and forth until everyone understood. Sometimes we would hit a night club, because at 18 in Germany, you can. We’d buy a drink to make us feel more grownup, but no one would drink it. We laughed, we had fun, and we grew up. It was one of the best summers ever. This summer is drawing to a close, the kids are returning to school, summer vacations are over. I hope you’ve made this one of your best summers ever! Breathe. Believe. Achieve. -Angela M. 6•
August/September 2014
LoLa Magazine 39252 Winchester Road, Suite #107-256 Murrieta, CA 92563 951.319.4000 ireadlola@lolamagazine.com ireadlola.com PUBLISHER/EDITOR IN CHIEF Angela Mains STAFF EDITOR Holly Suhi hollysuhi.com SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR David Mains SALES ACCOUNT MANAGERS Karen Twyla Twyman Kathy Zelasko CREATIVE DIRECTOR Hope Fultz LAYOUT & DESIGN Chris Keach chriskeachdesign.com COLUMNISTS Grayse Kelly Inner Fashionista Missy Jones She Said/He Said Dominic Carcioppolo She Said/He Said Shelly Moore Single in the Valley Tammy Albery Tammy’s Table CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Heather Bremner Holly Suhi Kathy Zelasko CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Amy Dawnelle amydawnelle.com Denise Kramer denisekramerphotography.com Gabriella Santos gabriellasantos.com INTERNS Mikayla Fultz
LoLa Magazine is published monthly by LoLa Magazine, LLC. While every attempt has been made to ensure the accuracy of the content in this publication, the publisher cannot be responsible for ad content, submitted articles, errors, or omissions. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the publisher. Copyright 2014, LoLa Magazine, LLC.
COOL STORY
Fitness & Fun on Wheels By Heather Bremner | Photo by Chris Bermudo Photography
Once a bout ends, black and blue take center stage. “It’s the only sport where everyone takes pictures and posts them to show bruises,” says Shannon Mooers, explaining her serious love of roller derby. “It’s a badge of courage.” A longtime athlete, Shannon, or Smack Yo Mama to those in the roller derby world, found herself desperate for some physical activity that didn’t involve a treadmill at the gym. She found it in roller derby, a sassy, tough sport that requires its players to have not only a great sense of humor and creative mind, but also a penchant for slamming into opponents. This foray onto four wheels began about a-year-and-a-half ago. Shannon and her husband were living in Japan where he was serving in the Navy, and she heard about a roller derby team on a nearby base. Once Shannon tied on the skates, she was hooked. For the 46-year-old former “roller rat,” it was a natural fit.
Rollers abide by rules and regulations set by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, and bouts are family-friendly events. At 47, Shannon is the oldest woman of the Wine Town Rollers, but age is a minor factor when your name is Smack Yo Mama. In roller derby, age, physical build and athletic ability aren’t nearly as important as heart, and maybe your willingness to don a pair of fishnet tights. “In this sport you find your niche, so the big girl becomes the blocker that nobody can tip over, and then the smaller ones, they slip by and can get so low,” she says. For Shannon, who usually eschews revealing attire, roller derby is a chance to dig out her alter-ego. A recent Temecula parade called for silvery, glittery bootie shorts, complete with fishnet stockings, the better to cover those bruises.
“I was upset and wondered how I could have lived there for three years and never heard about it.” It didn’t take long for Shannon’s husband, also an athlete (the two met while playing in a co-ed softball league) to embrace the sport. Cory Mooers immediately bought his wife a “fresh meat” package of gear (fresh meat is the title given to new players) and he began coaching the Tokyo Girls. But “coach” doesn’t suffice in roller derby, a sport of crazy monikers and even crazier costumes. Cory’s trademark mustache quickly earned him the nickname, Maximus Moustachio. California Skating
Cory soon retired from the Navy, and the Mooers settled in California. But Shannon wasn’t about to shelve her skates. Nearly two years ago, she attended the first meeting with Wine Town Rollers’ founder Tracey “Champ Unkind” Wallace. Four months later the team began practicing officially. “The cool thing about this sport is I’ve skated with people who’ve never played a sport, and others who’ve never roller skated or roller bladed before,” says Shannon. One teammate confided that at 32 she had never played a sport in her life. Shannon couldn’t fathom why, of all sports, she would choose the rough and tumble game of roller derby. Her teammate’s response? “I just want to prove I can do it.” Today there are 120 members on the team including skaters, coaches, officials, and skating referees. Players range in age from 21 to 46. A mother of three grown children, Shannon emphasized that the roller derby of today is quite different than that of the 1970s, a sport she described as akin to “WWF on wheels.” The Wine Town Advertorial
August/September 2014 • 7
WWW.BONNIESHAIRSTOP.COM
33315 Hwy. 215 South! Menifee, CA 92584! (951)-672-1964
Our Mission:! Our duty is to provide outstanding services in all areas of our industry with a servant’s heart.
THE PLACE FOR HAIR-SKIN-NAILS
Haircuts! Highlights! Color! Extensions! In-Home Hair Care! Facials! Peel Treatments! Dermafile Exfoliation! Waxing! Nails! Manicures! Pedicures! Massage! Couples Massage! Body Scrubs! Organic Airbrush Tanning! Make-Up! Permanent Make-Up
THINKING ABOUT SELLING? I CAN HELP.
ANGELA MAINS Your Main Source for Temecula Valley Real Estate (502) 415-1854
BRE #01874787
COVER STORY
A Charity Destined to Thrive By Heather Bremner | Photos by Denise Kramer
Charity Prestifilippo has served her share of pizza over time, but there is one particular pie she will never forget. It was 9:30 one night when Charity, who with her husband owns Temecula’s Spuntino Pizzeria & Delicatessen and Gourmet Italia, picked up the phone. It was a family friend calling to ask if it was too late to stop by for pizza. Charity promised to keep the doors open for them. A few minutes later the family showed up and placed their order. While munching on the cheesy goodness, the subject came up of a little girl named Haley. The child is one of the beneficiaries of Charity for Charity, a non-profit founded and led by Charity. Haley suffers from epidermolysis bullosa, a rare genetic disorder. Children with EB are known as “butterfly children” because their skin is as fragile as the wings of a butterfly, and every day Haley’s mother has to wrap her delicate daughter’s skin in bandages that can cost $2,000 a month. “It’s a rare disease,” Charity began to explain, but before she could continue, she noticed her friend’s face. “Seriously, his jaw dropped and his slice of pizza fell to his plate” she said. Charity assumed he had never heard of the disorder, but it was quite the opposite. Her friend was more than familiar with EB … his company is the number one supplier of the bandages. “We will provide them for the little girl!” he told her. Random coincidence? Serendipity? Charity doesn’t bat an eye before saying “It’s not. It’s God. It’s unexplainable other than the fact that God does these things and this is God’s organization.” Charity didn’t start out planning to run a full-fledged charity. “It kind of fell into my lap,” said the spunky blond. In 2006 when one of their servers died in her sleep, leaving behind her threeyear-old son, the De Luz resident sprang into action. Using her connections from the restaurant, Charity managed to organize a benefit concert at Stuart Cellars, raising $25,000 for the little boy. “Our customers felt a connection because she was a server there,” Charity said. “They wanted to be there for her child. For me, this firsthand experience — everyone coming together for this cause — was mind blowing.” This mother of three hung up her charitable apron and went on with her busy life. Yet, a year later, “I heard my name called once again,” she said. A family friend had recently had a large tumor removed from his back and the surgery caused him to lose all feeling in his legs. He and his wife were now facing a mountain of medical bills. “I wanted to do more than just write a check,” says the self-proclaimed born party planner. And with that, Stars of the Valley Awards Party & Benefit was born. The Golden Globes-esque event August/September 2014 • 9
COVER STORY includes a red carpet, paparazzi, and of course, awards. The event was another success—they raised $10,000—and Charity decided to make it annual. These touching stories and numerous others make it appear that Charity for Charity thrived immediately, but like any grassroots organization, it went through growing pains. Initially the nonprofit was run by a group of Charity’s girlfriends who loved coming together for a good cause. But as the organization grew, the responsibilities required too much time away from the women’s personal lives, and now that Charity for Charity was operating at a different level, they needed additional expertise. The organization now has executive and advisory boards populated with knowledgeable individuals who volunteer their time and savvy. They also have an office with a paid administrator. Everyone else who serves the organization is a volunteer. What began as charitable events for individual causes has grown. Charity for Charity now fulfills wishes for individuals with a variety of needs. Those wishes might range from something as simple as a trip to Disneyland for the family of a child with a serious illness, to helping a disabled high school student achieve her dream of attending Stanford University. Although the organization absorbs much of Charity’s free time, she doesn’t waste time patting herself on the back. “I don’t deserve the credit. I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do. God is omnipresent, so if I can represent God’s will, I’m honored to do that. I’m just the orchestrator, the conductor,” she says with a laugh that is contagious.
Charity with attendees of “Gift Thanks” event at Temecula City Hall
Charity (standing right) with honorees from Stars of the Valley 2014
The next annual Stars of the Valley event is February 7, 2015. Beneficiaries’ stories and wishes will be presented at this not-to-miss evening. Visit charityforcharity.com for beneficiary applications (beneficiary hopefuls must live in the Temecula Valley), to learn more about fun, fundraising events, and lots more!
Charity (4th from left) at recent polo event for charity
UPCOMING EVENTS • August 27: Bottles ‘N Brushes • September 21: Ladies Luxury Day • October 12: Wine Maker Dinner • November 1: Hollywood Halloween Party • November 20: Gift Thanks • December (date to be determined): Christmas Bunco Charity with attendees of “Gift Thanks” event at Temecula City Hall 10 •
August/September 2014
Photos this page compliments of Charity for Charity
LAUNDRY CARE
$40 This special offer is available beginning June 1, 2014, while supplies last.
For a limited time, get a bundle of three Laundry Care products in your choice of three bright Scentsy fragrances!
This bundle includes the following products of the same fragrance:
Love your laundry this summer with your pick of three bright and breezy scents — Serene Green, Jet Set Go, or A Wink & A Smile — available for the first time ever in Layers Laundry Care!
• 2 bottles of Washer Whiffs
Available while supplies last. Can be purchased through Host Rewards, including Half-Price Host Rewards and Host Credit! The Summer Lovin’ Laundry Care Bundle is not eligible for exchange due to dissatisfaction.
Scentsy and its logos are TMs of Scentsy, Inc. © 2014.
• 1 bottle of Laundry Liquid ... plus a reusable gift bag!
Contact me to place an order or Host a party: Tausha Chambers 951-241-6500 Https://taushachambers.scentsy.us
WOMEN’S WELLNESS
Yoga, Traditional Chinese Medicine … and You? AN INTERVIEW WITH SALLY NAJOU
Wellness is on everyone’s mind, and more and more people are recognizing the importance of an holistic approach to health. Sally Najou has a wealth of information and experience on the topic of wellness. Sally is a holistic health practitioner with a B.S. in Traditional Chinese Medicine. She also has 17 years of experience as a yoga instructor and is a licensed massage/Asian Body Works therapist. We asked her to be interviewed for LoLa Magazine so we could share her insights and wisdom with our readers. What is Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)? “Traditional Chinese
Medicine is a coherent, independent system of thought and practice that has been developed over two millennia. Its approach to healing uses natural treatments such as acupuncture and herbs. Traditional Chinese Medicine combined with other modalities such as acupressure and massage can be very beneficial in achieving optimal health.” What can yoga do for you? “Yoga makes you feel good. It is relaxing
at the same time energizing and strengthening. At the end of a yoga session you feel better than at the start. Yoga is growing in popularity in the U.S., often attracting people as a fitness routine. But the practice of yoga is simple and gradual, also helping to clarify and calm the mind, and opening thought to inspiration, hope, motivation, and optimism. This is especially helpful for someone facing an illness or a stressful challenge in life. Although many Eastern religions incorporate yoga into their meditation practices, yoga is actually a science rather than a religion. Its goal is to unite the mind, body, and soul.” There are different types of yoga. Can you explain? “Two of the most
popular types of yoga practiced in the U.S. are hatha yoga and vinyasa flow yoga. In hatha yoga, movements are relatively slow and postures are typically held for as long as a minute. I teach vinyasa flow yoga, a smooth-flowing type of yoga where we hold positions for three to five breaths.” Who can benefit from yoga? “Yoga is for everyone — men, women
and children—those who sit at a desk all day, young and adult athletes, and anyone who wants to remain strong and flexible throughout life. Yoga is especially important for those whose schedules keep them going at a pace that hardly allows time to relax. If ailments such as stress, anxiety, fatigue, backache, muscle spasms, neck pain, joint pain, or stiffness are hindering your quality of life, try yoga. I recommend starting with two one-hour classes a week.” Do I need a yoga instructor, or can I do yoga on my own? “It is advi
sable to start your yoga journey with an experienced instructor. 12 •
August/September 2014
Alignment is the foundation of a proper yoga posture, and it can’t be self-taught by watching a yoga video or looking at yoga magazines. Even a small correction from an instructor can make a signi ficant difference.” You are a massage therapist. Can you explain what kinds of therapies can be especially helpful in massage? “A massage therapist who is
skilled in advanced modalities works to eliminate any stagnation that is interfering with the body’s natural flow of energy and circulation. Acupressure is a well-known technique. Another technique is Tuina, a rapid, light rolling of the muscles that increases circulation. Heated stone massage originated in India 5,000 years ago, and is growing in popularity in the West. Heat relaxes muscles and increases circulation, and whatever increases circulation delivers the blood’s natural healing properties throughout the body. There also are techniques designed to rid the body of toxins. And these are just a few.” Sally Najou teaches yoga at LA Fitness in Murrieta and Temecula. She can be reached at Therapeutic Touch By Sally, 951.595.9833.
INNER FASHIONISTA
Top Trends to Breeze into Fall By Grayse Kelly
Although California is the sunny weather state, it’s always a plus to be ahead of the fashion curve and equip your wardrobe with the necessities of the upcoming fall season. Thankfully, theses trendy items have crossover power! You can layer more or less to obtain your perfect look depending on the weather. The swinging sixties are twisting and shouting their way back into our hearts and closets. Designers are showing us a modern take on the short shift mini dress. These light-weight dresses are perfect for warm summer days. As the weather shifts toward cooler temperatures, you can add tights and chunky, sixties-inspired heels or Chelsea boots. Let your accent pieces match the autumn turning of the leaves. Gold, whether real or faux, will brighten your look and add pizazz to your ensemble. Metallic bags, accessories, and even playing around with gold fabrics will tie in with the mod sixties trend. The pop of bright metal will refresh any attire. We all know color is important. That’s why striking reds and oranges are ideal for bringing a brilliant life to your wardrobe. These colors are practical for every shade of woman. From a deep rich oxblood to candy apple red, and from juicy orange to a more subdued burnt shade, a range of colors allows you to pick the shade perfect for you. Try a bright-colored statement piece such as a wide-legged trouser, collared blouse, or a robe coat for the chilly nights - a staple for fall. Although we’re raving about the sixties and the mini skirt, there is room for a more modest look this fall. You can jazz up a pencil skirt with a v-neck tee and your highest pumps. The midi skirt will make you fall in love with its ability to be dressed up or down for work or party. If you’re going for a more casual ready-for-the-office look, wear a muted-toned midi and pair it with a bold colored blouse or a light knit sweater. Another big trend for the fall is animals. Be one with nature or walk on the wild side, because embroidered designs or printed fabrics will keep excitement in your closet for sure. Knitted sweaters or graphic tees that are covered with an array of animals are a hot choice. Graphic tees are perfect as the summer slips away because they can be layered with a light cardigan or blazer. Big cat prints are also in the fall fashion forecast. They are suited for the autumn chill in the form of large turtlenecks or a printed blouse paired with slacks. An animal print dress coat is a great choice for evenings out, and can be worn over your favorite little black dress. Don’t stress yourself by attempting to add every trend to your wardrobe. Pick pieces that are interchangeable and compliment your personal style! Experiment. Be creative. Be fabulous!
Model: Hope Fultz Pencil Skirt: Kohl’s Nude Stiletto Heels: Macy’s Orange Pants: Tilly’s Owl Print Top: H & M Lion Top: Her Obsession Fashion Boutique (see ad page 5) August/September 2014 • 13
ABOUT A GIRL
Charitable Adventures By Heather Bremner | Photos courtesy of Vicky Wallace
Sipping margaritas on white sand beaches. Roaming the streets of Paris. Gazing at ornate cathedrals. That’s the stuff of dream vacations. But not for Vicky Wallace. The 57-year-old’s “vacations” involve massive bugs, curses from witch doctors, and even an occasional stray bullet. Yet she still can’t get enough. “It took our breath away to realize how privileged we are here and how unequal life is,” she says of the first trip she and her husband took to Nigeria. “It was everything that life in America — our simple life — was not.” Vicky explained that their travels to Nigeria, Uganda, India, and China were spurred by something once completely foreign to the Lake Elsinore couple … polio. Nine years ago, at a Rotary International convention in Chicago, Vicky and her husband met a gentleman who began telling them about Rotary’s worldwide efforts to eradicate polio. Something struck a chord with the Wallaces, and six months later they found themselves in Nigeria. What they experienced in the African country was “really awful,” says Vicky. They saw children digging through heaps of smelly trash. There were “crawlers” – the term used for those who had lost the use of their limbs due to polio – using their hands or even wooden blocks to get around. Despite the profound shock the Wallaces felt, they did not let the magnitude of the need overwhelm them. Instead, it fueled their desire to help. India, Orphans and Chickens
That trip stirred something inside Vicky. As a business owner (she and her husband own the Lake Elsinore-based company Totally Wired, Inc.), her life had completely revolved around work and child-rearing. Now with her children grown, Vicky realized there was more to life. She and her husband decided to travel the globe as Rotarians, devoting their time and money to charitable causes in developing countries. Soon after, they headed to India to visit an orphanage that is home to more than 60 children. “That’s our most successful project,” Vicky 14 •
August/September 2014
says, explaining that the orphanage is now completely self-sufficient. Rotary’s philosophy is to help individuals through education and training. The organization donates money to causes but doesn’t simply give away cash and move on. For example, at the orphanage, Rotarians bought chickens to raise and sell. “It changed the whole feeling of the place. We’re really proud of that project,” Vicky said. Lights, Water and Open Hearts in Uganda
A trip to a small village in Uganda once again revealed to Vicky how much we take for granted. When she first visited Oduoro, a village of about 2,500, she learned that the villagers probably wouldn’t have electricity for the next 50 years. Their destiny was changed when Vicky stepped foot in the village. Since that first visit in 2007, the Rotary Club has provided solar lighting to 250 households. In addition to lighting, the club has donated everything from water pumps and filters to beehives, Valencia fruit trees, and money to attend school. An Inspirational Mother
Few children can say that their mother’s actions directly led them to their future spouse, yet this is the case with Vicky’s daughter, Cris. Inspired by her parents’ work with the Rotary Club’s polio eradication program, she decided to spend six months hiking the Pacific Crest Trail to raise money for the charitable cause. While on the trail she met a fellow hiker, and three years later the two were married. “She was a girly, girly before, very materialistic,” Vicky explained, “but after the hike she said ‘you know if I can’t carry it on my back, I don’t need it.’” And about that witch doctor … his curse didn’t work. Vicky will head back to Oduoro this summer. She won’t dine on fine food or soak up the rays on a sunny beach, and she’ll probably have to swat away some giant beetles, but the joy she’ll experience hearing stories from children returning from school, and seeing the villagers’ homes flooded with light and clean water pouring from the pumps, more than compares!
All types of hair for sale: Indian, Malaysian, Brazilian, Peruvian, Remy, European Straight, Closure Pieces, Lace Frontals and more On-site extension services: Relaxers, Fusions, Hair-Locs, Sew-Ins, Net Weaves, Contact Line, Tape Extensions, Eyelash Extensions
TASHA PENNIMAN Celebrity Hair Extensions Specialist (pictured with Stylist/R&B Artist Felicia)
Before
Fusion Technique
After
aliaslola.indd 1
(951) 216-8488 extensionsaddict.com 26439 Ynez Rd. #118, Temecula (inside of Phenix Salon Suites)
August/September 2014 • 15
2/10/14 8:54 AM
ADVICE
She Said/He Said Get great advice on life and love, from a woman’s perspective and a man’s perspective. Question from Kerry, Lake Elsinore: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and are engaged to be married. He has a child from a previous marriage. His ex-wife, the mother of his child, is now single. She often calls the house asking him to come over to fix this or that — one week her car won’t start, the next her dishwasher is broken. My fiancé feels obligated to help because he feels it’s his responsibility to make sure things are okay for his son. It bugs me that he is constantly running back and forth to do things for her. It’s not that I don’t want what’s best for his son, but I feel his ex-wife takes advantage of his willingness to help. How do I address this issue without causing problems in the relationship? Missy Jones: You are in a serious relationship and planning to
take the next big step, marriage, so you must think as a wife when addressing this issue. I applaud his efforts to take care of his child and make sure that his son’s living environment is up to par. However, the point at which you should put your stiletto down is when it’s disrupting your family time. If he cannot easily and quickly fit these chores into his schedule without over-taxing your life together, it’s crossing the line. He cannot continue to hover between two families. His ex needs to gain some responsibility and become a grown-up. There are other answers to her problems; he cannot be her fall back every time some little thing pops up. Handymen and tow companies exist for a reason. Don’t be afraid to voice your feelings. The longer you let this go, the harder it will be for him to draw the hard line and for her to become more self-sufficient. Dominic Carcioppolo: I assume you knew he had a child over the course of the two years
you were dating. So why are you taking issue with it now? Chances are you told yourself that you could deal with everything that comes with a child being involved. You probably didn’t think about the real-life consequences of dating a guy with a child. The child’s mother is going to communicate with your fiancé, she is going to be involved in your lives as long as the son is young. They will maintain some connection over the years and she will communicate with him whenever she feels it has anything to do with their child, as she should. Even so, if her car is not starting and her dishwasher is not working — those things do not directly affect the well-being of the child. Your fiancé needs to let her know the boundaries. Just make it clear to him that anything not directly related to the well-being of the child is off limits. If he has a problem with that, then you have a decision to make.
Have a comment or a question for Missy & Dominic? Send an email to ireadlola@lolamagazine.com. Subject line: She Said He Said All information expressed on this page is a matter of the writers’ individual opinions. None of the advice is intended to take the place of legal or professional counsel. 16 •
August/September 2014
BUSINESS SAVVY
Real Estate with Kellee Spillman “SIT BACK AND RELAX, you’re in Reliable hands” is the motto of Reliable Realty Property Management in Temecula. CEO Kellee Spillman and her team are proving this true by providing a range of management services that suit the different needs of the area’s landlords. Kellee earned a B.S. in Business Management from the University of Redlands and is a leader in the ever-changing real estate industry. She also is a licensed real estate broker with extensive knowledge in traditional sales, foreclosures, REO (or bank owned) dispositions, and short sale negotiations. In 2005 Kellee was made partner/CEO at Reliable Realty and eventually became sole owner. In 2006 she expanded her business to become Reliable Realty & Property Management. She recently joined a group of leading business experts from around the world along with best-selling author and speaker Brian Tracy, to co-write the book, The Winning Way: The World’s Leading Entrepreneurs and Professionals Share How They are Winning in Life and Business and How You Can Too! “By the very definition, winning means that you competed and came out ahead. Human nature requires us to compete daily in our jobs in order to survive,” Kellee says. Therefore, winning and survival have the element of success in common. To ascend to a winning position you need a goal, a desire to achieve it, and the qualities of discipline, perseverance and action.” Kellee has experienced personal success as a real estate agent, having sold over 1,600 homes since 1997. She recently took on duties as emcee for the National Association of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals (NAHREP-LA Chapter). Her strong professional relationships have propelled her to become a leader in the real estate world. “We understand how difficult and time-consuming owning rental property can be,” she explains, “and it is our daily mission to make it as easy and profitable for property owners as possible.” Reliable Realty Property Management offers guaranteed rent on the first of each month with a full-service property management agreement. “Our team is comprised of professionals who are experts in handling day-to-day and month-to-month activities for our clients, from recommending improvements and performing periodic inspections, to collecting and obtaining qualified tenants. We offer the best option for Temecula’s property owners to realize the success they are looking for, without all the hassle.” But to Kellee, success isn’t complete without giving back. She mentors students who desire to gain a real estate license through an internship program offered by Mt. San Jacinto College where she has a taught numerous real estate classes. She has served on the college’s Real Estate Instruction Advisory Committee, and supports non-profits including Project Touch, a Temecula organization benefiting local homeless families, and Teen Challenge which benefits at-risk youth and their families. In 2010 Kellee was a recipient of the President’s Volunteer Service Award. She lives by the adage “We are blessed to be a blessing.” Advertorial
On a personal note, Kellee says, “I feel extremely fortunate to have both my parents still alive, and I love spending time with them and my children Khylee and Tyler, plus my nieces and nephews!
Learn more about Reliable Realty Inc. at teamreliablerealty.com or call Kellee Spillman at 951.757.7713. BRE Lic # 01290921
August/September 2014 • 17
Women Organizing Women, Inc. Women Organizing Women Inc. (WOW) is an organization that cares about communities. We have established four chapters in the U.S. thus far, most of which are located in inner cities, including Gary, Indiana; Detroit, Michigan; Forrest City, Arizona; and Nashville, Tennessee. Each local chapter partners with other organizations to build a better community. WOW is in the process of establishing a Temecula Valley chapter. The goal of the organization is to mentor underprivileged, at-risk young women, ages 16-25, through a love of the arts. WOW’s new facility in Temecula will give these ladies a platform to tell their stories through visual, performing, and culinary art. WOW has also supported various organizations throughout the country such as City of Hope, Rancho Damacitas, The Seraphim Project, Project Touch and many more. Because WOW is a non-profit organization, we depend on community support. This year we are teaming with local artists to hold our fundraising gala with three goals: to fund equipment, supplies, and the mentoring program for our Temecula chapter; to support our partnering efforts with Sister Tina Batten Productions (a local filmmaker/playwright); and to help fund our next annual outreach. Please see your invitation below and be sure to join us for our gala! Remember, Women Organizing Women, Inc. is a 501C3 non-profit organization, and your contributions are tax-deductible. For more information about this event, or to learn more about how you can support your local WOW organization, email fire.and.ice.dinnershow@gmail.com or visit www.womenorganizingwomeninc.org. For more information about Sister Tina Batten Productions, visit her website at www.sisterbatten.com.
SINGLE IN THE VALLEY
Tiffany Guffey By Shelly Moore
I talked with Tiffany Guffey on what was a rare day off for her, as she was heading to Escondido to do some shopping at Nordstrom. With an effervescent tone, Tiffany happily explains that she’s 34 and no, she has never been married and doesn’t have any children. “Just a dog that I love,” she says, referring to Sassy, her Bichon Maltese mix. In her early 20’s, Tiffany attempted to climb the modeling/acting ladder for a few years. She spent most of her time driving back and forth to jobs and auditions in L.A., but at 5’8”, fluctuating between a size two and six, she was often considered too large by industry standards. One day reality hit hard. She was sent home from a modeling agency who said that her size six frame was too big. “So I cried and then went to In-N-Out,” she says with a laugh. With that, Tiffany decided she’d had enough of the modeling/ acting world. Her mother encouraged her to go back to school, and eventually she earned a teaching credential. These days she loves her job working with autistic children for a Temecula-based company that contracts with local school districts. For a woman who spent her youth immersed in a world where looks were all that mattered, it was inspiring to learn that these days the tall blond is more confident and secure than ever. Tiffany is open about her desire to one day marry and have children. It used to bother her when people wondered aloud how such a pretty girl could still be single, but now the comments just roll off her back. She knows she could get married, but she doesn’t want to say the vows until it’s right. “There’s a ton of pressure – people just don’t understand the journey of a single woman – but I think you need to decide not to feed it, and instead surround yourself with people who really want the best for you.”
Mr. Right. A couple years ago Tiffany found herself in a whirlwind romance and suddenly engaged. But before walking down the aisle (so to speak), Tiffany realized it wasn’t meant to be. She called off the engagement, a short time later her fiancé got married, and she couldn’t be happier. “There’s a level of compromise in any relationship, but if something doesn’t feel right ...” Tiffany trails off saying “then move on, don’t settle.” She admits she would love to meet someone who shares her faith and loves the outdoors. The man she would love to marry would enjoy hiking, the beach, traveling and of course, making her laugh. “There’s a checklist, but at the end of the day if you don’t have chemistry, it’s difficult. I guess I’m waiting for Tim Tebow,” she says. Even if a marriage to the former NFL star doesn’t pan out, Tiffany knows there’s a man out there for her waiting to complete her love story. Her advice to other single ladies? “Being single and happy about who you are is really important. Work on yourself … be confident, not desperate.” Tiffany sounds like she’s living her advice. She spends her free time with girlfriends, dining at nice restaurants, hiking the Santa Rosa Plateau, and heading to the coast for a day at the beach. It was refreshing to talk with such a confident woman who is genuinely happy with where she is in life. “Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City
It doesn’t mean that the Temecula resident, who moved here from Orange County with her family in 1986, isn’t on the lookout for
Photos from left to right: Tiffany enjoying downtown Temecula; with friend Kim; with friend Kristen; taking a neighborhood stroll
August/September 2014 • 19
TAMMY’S TABLE
High Protein, High Fiber Breakfast Cereal By Tammy Albery
I’m always trying to find ways to add more healthy grains to my diet. There are so many wonderful grains on the supermarket shelves nowadays, that we can become really creative when it comes to choosing. I like to make extra portions of grains to add to a salad, soup, or a wrap. Or be creative with grains and invent your own breakfast cereal! This can be fun to do with the kids at night, letting them create their own masterpiece which they’ll be much more inclined to eat in the morning. You are teaching them to make healthy choices and also saving time by creating several servings in advance (fresh grains will last in the refrigerator for a few days). Remember, you can experiment with different grains to see which ones you and your family like best. Cereal Ingredients
• • • • •
1 ½ cups cooked farro (12 grams of protein) 1 ½ cups cooked quinoa (a complete protein) ¼ cup toasted wheat germ, uncooked 5 medjool dates, pitted and chopped (can substitute raisins) 1 ½ cups unsweetened coconut milk (can substitute any milk or water; richer with milk) • 1 tbsp. agave nectar (or sweeten with honey, stevia or any sweetener, or leave it out) Topping Ingredients
• ½ cup untoasted walnuts (toasted nuts lose up to 15% of their heart-healthy oils) • 2 tbsp. raw pumpkin seeds • Fresh berries Directions
Combine grains and milk in medium saucepan. Use a large spoon to break up grains. Over medium heat, warm the grains and milk until they are hot and well-combined. Add wheat germ, dates and agave nectar. If the cereal seems too thick, add more milk or water. Divide the cereal into four BPA-free plastic bowls with lids or covered glass bowls. Store in refrigerator. Have toppings ready (including having cleaned the berries). Serves 4 Tip: I like to remove my cereal from the container and place it in a larger bowl, adding a little more milk and microwaving it like oatmeal. Some people prefer to heat the cereal first and then add milk. Top with ingredients and enjoy!
20 •
August/September 2014
Tammy Albery is a private chef and cooking instructor. tammystable22@gmail.com facebook.com/tammystable22
GIRLS NEXT DOOR Adela Velotta was born to live under the stars. Her love of camping, dirt bike riding and fishing
took this young woman from Orange County to Menifee, just to be closer to her favorite place for recreation … the desert. Her husband of 10 years, Nick, and their five-year-old son Brycen, also live for the outdoors. It seems that Brycen is the luckiest one in the family; he always catches the biggest fish or often the only fish of the trip. Adele is an escrow officer and feels she has found her career for life. With more than 10 years of experience, she is proud to manage a thriving Temecula branch of Escrow Leaders. Adela still finds it a thrill when a buyer is excited about closing on a new home. To relieve the stress of the day and to keep in shape, Adela loves to run and is occasionally joined by her mother. She especially enjoys running in 5ks to support local charities.
Pia Maffei is the owner of Artisan’s Palate, a healthy, specialty gourmet food shop located in
Temecula. Previously a successful entrepreneur in the tech world, Pia just celebrated her first year in retail and with her business growing quickly, she is looking forward to many more. Pia has been married to husband Ken for 18 years and they’ve lived in the Valley for 14 years. She is a proud “mom” to eight-year-old Grace Kelly, her adorable toy poodle. She is actively involved in the community and a member of the Temecula Valley Woman’s Club. She has been featured in Inland Empire Magazine for her business savvy, and in 2013 Artisan’s Palate made the Inland Empire Hot List. Pia is passionate about resourcing the highest quality, most unique local products available, and she loves educating her customers on how easy it is to eat clean and at the same time make simple, delicious choices for their everyday lives.
Beth Soltysiak is the director of development for the Boys and Girls Clubs of Southwest County. She is
busy preparing for the upcoming 22nd annual “Our Kids Rock” auction and dinner, their largest event of the year. “I have lived in the community for so many years,” she says, “it’s fun to be able to work with family and friends.” She and her husband Rich have been in Temecula for 30 years. Together they have four grown children, all of whom have gone through the Temecula school system and have successful careers. When they first came to Temecula, all the way from Chicago, the town only had one stoplight. Beth has watched the community grow into the thriving city it is today. Since living in the area she has worked with the Economic Development Corporation, Temecula Chamber of Commerce, The Californian, Rancho Magazine, Chicago Tribune, and the Los Angeles Times. In her free time, she enjoys hiking with friends and spending time with her family.
Naomi Putney has been married for 24 years to the love of her life, Charles D. Putney, U.S. Marine
Corps, Retired. “We have lived in Temecula since the early 90s,” she says. “My husband and I decided early on that this is where we wanted to raise our family.” The couple has three children: daughter Angel, 23, who is currently attending Palomar College pursuing fashion merchandising; son Alex, 19, who recently graduated from Chaparral High School and will also be attending Palomar College; and son Brandon, 12, who is entering 8th grade this fall. After spending seven years in the medical field, Naomi switched gears and became a realtor “Being a realtor has allowed me to work close to home, have more time for my kids’ activities, and be active in the community,” she says. Naomi has been with Reliable Realty, Inc. for eight years. She enjoys her job, her colleagues, and meeting new people along the way.
August/September 2014 • 21
Please join us for our first annual....
for Charity Friday October 3,2014 4:00-8:00 p.m.
SRCAR 26529 Jefferson Ave. Murrieta ®
Delicious chili entries from our real estate and business community Chili contest and booth decorating contest $10.00 for Chili Tastings
Beer and Wine Garden featuring
our local breweries and wineries. Tastings and drinks by the glass $10.00 for Beer & Wine Garden tastings
- ice for the kiddos! Music - hot dogs - shaved (Must be 21 or over(
To pay for your tastings, please stop by SRCAR® or call 951-894-2571. We accept credit cards!
Proceeds from this event will go to Project Touch, Michelle’s Place, SRCAR® Scholarship Foundation To enter your Chili or become a sponsor Call Shelly Moore at 951-348-8782 or email escrowgirl@escrowleaders.com
DESIGNS BY
Kimbo WWW .D ESIGNS B Y K IMBO . COM EM AIL : KIMBO @ DESIGNSBYKIMBO . COM
951.609.4044
OF SOUTHWEST COUNTY