An Oasis Of Calm

By ALICE O’BRIEN Alice O’Brien Counselling, Newmarket

Peace has been restored. But, don’t get too excited as I’m not talking about peace that will change the world or end a war. I’m talking about Liam and Noel - The Gallagher Brothers. The feuding brothers have made up, they have buried the hatchet, and not in each other. Just in time for them to sell out numerous concerts and make a lot of money. In case you don’t know who Liam and Noel are, they are Oasis, legends of the 1990s. Bad boys of entertainment who have fallen out and ignored each other for years.

Sibling relationships are complex, especially as we become adults. Sibling rivalry and arguments are not always outgrown in adulthood. Struggling to get along or managing estrangement from siblings can be very stressful to your life. Signs of sibling rivalry in adults can include jealously, viewing other siblings as a treat, constant competing or attempt to undermine each other.

Whatever the reason for it, there are things you can do to make it easier for yourself and those around you when it comes to your siblings:

• Perceived parental favouritism is often the source of the feeling of rivalry among siblings. So don’t take things personally. Things are not always as you think they seem. They may be many reasons for how your parents treat you and your siblings.

• If you have a sense of competition with your sibling, acknowledge that this may be due to childhood issues that are long passed. Try not to ruminate too much on past events, look towards the future and decide what kind of relationship you would like to develop as adults.

• Accept the reality of the situation, sometimes adults don’t get on and just because you are related does not mean you will all automatically like each other or have things in common.

• Take care of yourself, work on your boundaries and prioritise what makes you feel good. It is OK not to spend time with people who don’t make you feel good.

Liam and Noel have managed to rekindle their relationship, and build their friendship again. It is amazing what the lure of sell-out shows and millions of Euros can do to help you to move on.