GPS 2nd Quarter 2016

April.May.June 2016 Edition

CALLED to be a

PARENT

How I Gave MY MOTHER gray hair

IPHC Women’s Publication

AT HOME

with Maria Durso 32

20

Secret Funeral Miscarriages

6

10

24

Ignite

Giving Project

Together

8

14

26

Women’s Min. Conference

Father’s Day Busyness of Life

Christmas4Missionaries

Strength

Embracing Your Strengths

With Each Other

Project Kid Tough Topics

Designer: Lindsey Snider, Kaleigh Bishop Photo Credits: Fotolia, Steffan Light, Jana DeLano, Laura Clark, Beth McGhee

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A Note From Sam Samantha Snipes

Director IPHC Women’s Ministries Ssnipes@iphc.org

“We are fully Ignited with God’s love.”

Life is all about looking for the opportunities we have to embrace the moment, learn and grow while discipling our children and those who God has entrusted to us. If you don’t have someone to mentor, pray for your opportunity as we are all called to make disciples. He has anointed and called us for this purpose. We have each other to propel us forward. Let’s do this together!

! s U h t i w t c e n n o C

Find out all the latest updates and announcements through social media

IPHC WOMEN’S MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT EMAIL: women@iphc.org PHONE: 405-792-7132 www.facebook.com/iphcwomen ADDRESS: P.O. Box 12609 Oklahoma City, OK 73157 www.twitter.com/iphcwm www.pinterest.com/iphcwm

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CALLED to be a

PARENT Samantha Snipes

Director IPHC Women’s Ministries Ssnipes@iphc.org

L

ittle socks strewn about the home in places one never thought a sock could land. These are just some of the moments that make up a lifetime.

They are priceless. It is all part of the plan of God, teaching us in what sometimes is the chaos of the moment. All teachable moments for parents and children.

It is a great honor to be entrusted with children, whether they are biological, adopted or spiritual children. God has called each one of us to parent in some way. It is a beautiful place to be in someone’s life when we are used by God to equip, love and be a part of His great design in their lives. He entrusted us with them. When God calls us to do something, He equips and anoints us. We are called for this great purpose and time. God could have called someone else, but you were chosen. You were placed in their lives for a reason. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 KJV) Every day and every opportunity, we can train our children to be Christ followers. Teaching them to be overcomers, to be the head and not the tail, to have the mind of Christ, to walk in the spirit of love, power and a sound mind instead of fear, and that they can to do all things through Christ who strengthens them.

These opportunities can present themselves simply.

They can be created or they can be in the form of a problem or a challenge. All of these life-happenings are places

where we can instill a God-focus. God is our source. He is our strength. He is our provider. He is our comforter. He is our protector. He is our Abba Father. What He is to us is transferred to them. So, who is He to you? How you know Him comes through to them. Even with your feelings of inadequacy, God chose you for this child and God knew that what you would give to this child would be for their good and for your good.

We are complete in Him. Do not run from the opportunity to learn and grow and teach your children along the way. God never expected us as parents to be perfect. But, He did expect us to give it our all. We rely on His grace to parent the treasures that He has given us in our lives.

Revealing His power in our weakness is part of the plan.

Revealing the Father God, His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit is integral to His will for our lives and our children’s lives. It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children about Him and His ways. His ways are not like our ways, they are far greater. His greatness is revealed in the little things we do each day with our children. It is revealed in the wonderful and awesome moments as well as the please-forgive-me moments. Are we humble enough to know we are not perfect but we serve a perfect God? He, in His perfection makes us perfect. Perfect to love those He has given us, socks and all!

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- Leader’s- GPS GPS 6 6 --

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Father’s Day W

e live in a time when the word “busy” has become an immediate response when asked, “How are you doing?” or “How were things at the office today?”

Busy!

I have and always will be a fan of the television program, “The Andy Griffith Show.” It first aired in the 60’s and continues to be watched by many in the 21st Century. One of my favorite episodes is “Man in a Hurry.” A guest minister visits the Mayberry congregation and delivers a sermon about slowing down and taking it easy. He promises to visit Andy, Opie and Aunt Bee after delivering an afternoon sermon in a neighboring town. Later in the evening he returns to Mayberry to inform the Taylor’s that he has another appointment and cannot honor his visit for coffee. He apologizes and returns to his car and the clincher in the scene is when Andy says to the minister, “What’s the hurry?”

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Many men are caught up in the trap of busyness. It contributes to the divorce rate and makes children feel like dad is a stranger right in the home. The prophet Daniel spoke of a time that “…many would run to and fro, and knowledge would be increased” (Daniel 12:4). It takes me back to the Mayberry sermon, “take it easy, slow down, what’s your hurry?” Too bad the minister did not model his message.

IPHC Men’s Ministries has a strong commitment to helping men become great dads and husbands, moving from a state of mediocrity to excellence. Sometimes it feels like a steep uphill challenge, but passion, patience, and perseverance continue to be the motivating factors for helping us get it right.

Father’s Day presents a magnificent opportunity for mom and the children to esteem dad on his special day.

Why not get creative and find some ways to express appreciation and love to the special dads in your life? Here are three ideas to help you get the creative juices flowing.

I found these in a 2011 article by Mary May Larmoyeux, writer for Family Life Ministries. The article presents 10 ideas, but I was attracted to three in particular.

1. Mom, help the kids plan and prepare a secret picnic

for Dad. The kids can hijack him for a special time. You can send them all off with the picnic basket and a map to their surprise destination.

–Contributed Dennis Leake 2. Record favorite memories with your dad and how much he means to you. If possible, burn this on a CD and surprise him on Father’s Day with “something special to listen to” on his drive to work.

–Contributed by Hugh Duncan

3. Give your dad gifts to encourage him in his special hobby or talent. Kids could wrap individual presents that all relate to a central theme. “My kids gave me some canvas, oil paints, brushes, and such. I haven’t painted in years and they were trying to jump-start me.”

–Contributed by Lee Smith Let me close with a quote from an unknown source, “Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice.” We cannot afford not to get it right. On Father’s Day, let dad know how much he is appreciated and loved. Build great memories and make this Father’s Day an unforgettable experience!

1Ten Ideas: Esteeming Dads on Father’s Day, http://www.familylife.com/ articles/topics/holidays/featured/fathers-day/10-ideas-esteeming-dad-onfathers-day

Bill serves as the Men’s Ministries Director for the International Pentecostal Holiness Church and the National Coordinator for Disaster Relief USA (DRUSA). Bill travels extensively throughout the United States and abroad conducting workshops for men, leadership seminars, preaching, and is involved in several mission endeavors. Bill resides in Oklahoma City with his lovely wife Rita.

IPHC

MEN’S MINISTRIES

recommended resource for

Father’s Day!

PURCHASE TODAY!

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J

esus said…Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength…Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.

(Mark 12:29-31 NIV)

W

e have an awesome opportunity to minister to our IPHC missionaries all across the world through our Christmas 4 Missionaries Offerings. They serve hard and with a passion to reach people around the world with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

During her service as General PH Woman’s Auxiliary President, 1977-1985, Mrs. Agnes B. Robinson began the Christmas Missions offering. She was the daughter of a pioneer PHC missionary, therefore she was well aware of the need for this unexpected gift during the Christmas Season.

I remember many years ago when I first got involved on the Conference level as Girl’s Auxiliary District Director. For my first District Rally I invited Missionary Louise Smith from Chocowinity, NC as my guest speaker. Louise knew she was called to be a missionary as early as high school. To prepare for this missionary work, she attended Holmes Bible College and Furman University. In the fall of 1952 she was assigned to the field in India where she served for 25 years.

Later she went to Durbin, South Africa where she worked in Indian churches for another five years. To this day, I remember the zeal and enthusiasm she expressed the first time I heard her speak. She loved sharing the gospel and serving our Lord and Savior on the other side of the world as a missionary.

We have many missionaries with many stories that touch our hearts. We receive cards and notes each year from the recipients of your love gifts at Christmas. They tell of their heart-felt gratitude, often relating how this gift provided their only means for Christmas. Some tell of being able to do something special for those they minister to. The cards and letters bring tears of joy with thanksgiving through this tremendous love-offering.

These funds are divided among IPHC active and retired missionaries at Christmas. Currently the breakdown is $600 per couple, $50 per child, $200 retired couples and $100 retired single. It is the only bonus they receive at this time and women of the church are the key that opens this window of blessing for our missionaries.

Our goal for 2016 is $40,000. Please begin now to plan and promote this great ministry outreach. Help us to continue blessing our missionaries. We need YOU and they need our support!

Patsy Deese

Secretary IPHC Women’s Ministries

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JANA DELANO

I'm su re over the years

I caused more than a few of my Mother’s gray hairs. There was some gray caused when I pooped all over her white dress just before she was supposed to sing at a revival and we were two hours from home. There was the timewhen she hollered that it was time to get ready for church and found us covered with mud. That instance involved a water hose and embarrassing photos! A little more gray appeared when at 16 years old, we snuck off to San Francisco and called from a pay phone to say that we’d be home a “little” late. No matter what we did to worry my Mom, she always managed to find the humor in the situation and turn it into a learning moment!

BETH MCGHEE

LAURA CLARK

I'm su re my mother had that My ifmom has often said many gray haired moments she would’ve had me first since she had five children within six years with me being the youngest. I recall one particular time when Mama and Daddy were both gone and left us home by ourselves. For some reason my brother, sister and I were in our parent’s bedroom when an “altercation” started. My sister pushed my sock-footed brother and he slid forcefully into the sheetrock wall! Well you can imagine our horror when he gained his composure and we noticed the huge imprint of his body on the wall. I don’t remember the punishment, but I do remember my mother totally rearranged the bedroom to cover the damage. It was several years before the wall was fixed.

I would’ve been an only child. I was so mischievous and probably caused most of the gray hair on her head. When I was 8yrs old I found myself on a glorified wooden pallet with two boys I saw floating down a river near our home in Alabama. The current was strong due to a big rainstorm that came through. We journeyed down river, taking up several hours on our adventure. When the boys said goodnight and made their way back home I found myself crossing busy intersections and roadways trying to get back to my house.

Little did I know that the police had been called and their was a search party looking for me! Despite the fear I had caused my mother, she still welcomed me home with loving arms.

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Healthy LOVE A

t times when I sit down to write an article I’m surprised by what pops into my head or is dropped into my spirit.

As I sit and pray I’m amazed how all the thoughts come together. My mind was on love, compassion and fellowship because I had just returned from a “Passion” Women’s Conference in Maui, Hawaii with an IPHC Cornerstone Conference mission team. As I reflected on this conference, I was challenged to think about life, loving God, and what a healthy relationship with God looks like.

It is generally agreed that there are eight things our bodies need to remain healthy:

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#1 WATER – Our brain and heart are 73% water, lungs are 83%, skin 64%, muscle & kidneys 79% and bones 31%. Water enables the brain to manufacture hormones & neurotransmitters, helps keep our mucosal membranes moist, allows our cells to grow, reproduce and survive, flushes body waste, helps to keep our joints lubricated, regulates body temps through sweat and helps deliver oxygen through the body.

#2 SUNSHINE – Our bodies need ½ hour of sunshine per day to help produce Vitamin D, which is essential to bone health, fighting colds & depression. #3 SLEEP – Our bodies need at least 7 hours of sleep per day with a consistent bedtime devoid of TV or computer, and with no eating 3 hours prior, including drinks with caffeine. Lack of sleep causes increased appetite, risk of diabetes, heart problems, depression and substance abuse while decreasing attention span. #4 DIET – Eating fresh, raw & organic foods (not heated above 118 degrees) is better for us, promoting weight loss and anti-aging. Use virgin oils such as olive oil, flax, coconut and hemp. God has given us fresh fruit and vegetables, beans, grains, legumes and seeds, and natural sweeteners such as honey.

#5 EXERCISE – Exercise releases endorphins that make us feel energized and happy, helps with weight loss, is good for our heart, promotes an efficient cardiovascular system, and helps us sleep if not done too close to bedtime.

#6 ABSTAIN FROM BAD HABITS – Smoking, alcohol, & drugs wreak havoc on our bodies.

If we consider these 8 things that our bodies need from a spiritual point of view, we realize that we must have the water of life. Jesus told the woman at the well if she would drink from the water He gave, she would never thirst again. I have found that to be true, Jesus completely quenches my thirst. What about sunshine? I see this spiritually as His word to dispel the darkness and bring clarity to our steps. Psalm 119:105 tells us that His word is a lamp unto our feet and a light for our path. Sleep for our physical body is like rest in the Lord for our spiritual man, and God provides rest from trouble as we’re told in Psalm 37:7.

Proper spiritual diet of God’s Word and exercising our faith adds revelation for greater blessing as we walk in that enlightenment. When we abstain from bad habits, even taking prescription drugs, we honor the temple God has provided for us and His provision of food for our medicine (the Genesis Diet), while at the same time promoting longer life. The breath of God gives us life each day. Job 33:4 says, “the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” Then, of course, number eight is clear that we must live a life of faith in God for without faith it is impossible to please Him. So, when we consider falling in love spiritually, we find that nothing is more practical than finding God and falling in love with Him in an absolute and final way. For what we are in love with, that which seizes our imagination, will affect every aspect of our life. It will decide what will get us up in the morning, what we will do with our evening, how we will spend our weekend, as well as what we read, what we know and what breaks our heart or brings us joy and gratitude. So we must fall in love with the Lord, and stay in love, for it will decide everything about our physical and spiritual life.

#7 FRESH AIR – Go outside! Fresh air cleans our lungs, gives us more energy and a sharper mind, and strengthens our immune system as white blood cells fight bacteria and germs. White blood cells need oxygen.

#8 FAITH – Our bodies are a temple and we should take good care of them. Spirit, mind and body work together. To live out God’s purpose for us, we must be focused on Him instead of having our attention taken by health issues, aches and pains. Caring for our bodies is not vain; God wants us to be healthy.

Dr. Brenda Grasty

Assistant Director IPHC Women’s Ministries

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Embracing YOUR Strength

H

ave you ever looked around and wondered, “what in the world am I doing here?” It’s so easy to see the talents and abilities that our friends have and focus on our inabilities. I have a friend who makes her own clothes. She makes her own clothes!! Come on. That’s something I could never do. I’d be lying if I said that I never get jealous of “creative” people.

Every now and again I’ll mope around about all the things I can’t do. I can’t make my own clothes. I can’t play an instrument. I don’t know how to use PhotoShop. I can’t write code.

I don’t know anything about Quantum Physics.

But then I remember.

I remember all of the things that I can do! I can write. I am able to string words together in a way that creates a work of art (my humble opinion, of course). I do a great job at maintaining long distance friendships. I am a fantastic listener and advice giver. I make people feel like they’re important and that I truly care about them.

There are so many things in the world that we can’t do.

That’s not the problem, though. The problem is that we spend way too much time focusing on what we can’t do instead of embracing all the things we can do!

The book of 1 Corinthians reminds us that we are one body with many parts. We are meant to be different. That’s the beauty of life; we were created to have different talents and strengths!

I recently read a book entitled, Strengths Finder 2.0.

The basis of the book is the idea that we are all born with specific strengths and talents but rather than growing and expanding those, we expend so much energy trying to fix our weaknesses. This book is extremely popular and used among businesses all over the world because statistics show that employees who are working in their strengths and talent areas each day are happier and better at their jobs. They are more productive and greater assets to their companies.

Putting work aside, Strengths Finder 2.0 says, “beyond the world of work, there are even more serious implications for your health and relationships if you’re not in the strengths zone.” This means that our everyday relationships and health can have seriously negative effects if we aren’t living within our strengths zone.

It’s time that we start discovering and proclaiming our talents! It’s okay to be proud of the gifts that God has given us. The faster that we do, the faster we’ll be able to live happy, healthy, and successful lives.

Living in our strengths doesn’t mean that we completely blow off our weaknesses and not work on improving ourselves. By all means, always work on improvement, but don’t spend all your energy there. Spend the majority of time learning to thrive in your greatness and using your talents everywhere you can.

So the next time that ugly voice pops up in your head to complain about that thing you can’t do, silence it by declaring your strengths. I’m a huge believer in positive self-talk. The kinder you speak to yourself, the happier you’ll be. Begin with making a list of all the things that you are good at. If you don’t know, ask your friends and family. Begin each morning by thanking God for the strengths on your list and ask him to allow you to continue to grow in them.

Now go out and celebrate your strengths!

Rath, Tom. Strengths Finder 2.0. New York: Gallup, 2007. Print.

Skye Hakes Liles

Skye is fluent in movie quotes and is most likely to be found immersed in a book or in a deep conversation in which humor is heavily involved.

She’s always looking for her next great adventure and is currently checking off items on her ever-evolving bucket list.

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LUMINARIES yo u t h q u e s t 2 0 1 6 | j u ly 2 1 - 2 4 | d ay t o n a b e a c h f l

reflect the source

i p h c . o r g / yo u t h q u e s t # yq 2 0 1 6

Im”pulse”ivity

Michelle Drake

Board Member IPHC Women’s Ministries

M

y School-Teacher-Single-Christian-Friend, Ginger, is so radical! Most recently, she excitedly came up to me in the school hallway and said, “Drake, you’re never going to believe what I did!” Anxious to hear her latest escapade, I perked up my ears for a morning treat. “I’ve gotten rid of everything in my house except my bed, chair, and some clothes,” she exclaimed!

She had my attention now. She proceeded to tell me that in an effort to de-clutter her life, the Lord whispered into her heart that it was time to bless others….with all of her stuff. Now Ginger is our Art teacher and she has a lot of NICE stuff and not to mention quite an eclectic wardrobe and jewelry collection. Needless to say, I was captivated by her tale! “I feel so free!” has continued to be her mantra as the weeks have passed by.

Later during the day I was reminded of the poor widow in the Bible (Mark 12:44) who gave in the offering all she had: 2 mites which make up a farthing. I wonder, how she felt when she followed the Holy Spirit stirrings within her own heart? So thankful to know that the Lord is our Provider, Jehovah Jireh.

Spring is just around the corner. Punxsutawney Phil, our weather forecasting groundhog, did stay out to play after not seeing his shadow. The birds are singing their sweet

songs and the trees and plants are considering their possibilities. Yes, I’ve got Spring Fever and I’ve got the urge to de-clutter, downsize and clean. How about you? No doubt, most of us have more than we will ever need. My personal philosophy is that if it hasn’t been worn or used in one year, I probably don’t need it! Why not be deliberately impulsive, lighten our load of things and bless others in the process?

Here are some practical ways to give: •

Find that person in the church who needs some of what you’ve got • Contact a community women’s shelter • Donate to a church clothing closet • Big items are great for young families starting out • Goodwill donations are tax deductible (if you wish) • Consignment stores love current styles Most recently I caught up with my friend Ginger to see how her life was going. She’s still proclaiming this good news, “Listening to the Holy Spirit and doing what he said immediately has proven to be the biggest blessing in my life!”

So, from my heart to yours, put a little im”pulse” ivity into your life when you feel the Lord speaking into your heart!

The Language of LOVE is Powerful!

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DownTIME Michelle’s Book & App Recommendations

The Best Yes Making wise decisions in the midst of endless demands

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World Finding intimacy with God in the busyness of life

The One Year Bible

Sleep Cycle Alarm

Couch to 5K

Start your day with a daily devotion app that will help keep you on track throughout the year.

A clever solution for improving your rest. Don’t wake up angry at your alarm clock ever again.

Get off the couch and get running! Spend 20 minutes, three times a week, for nine weeks, and you’ll be ready to finish your first 5K.

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HEAD to HEART Pt.2 study

2016 IPHC Women’s Ministries Book Review

Janice Marshburn

Board Member IPHC Women’s Ministries

“A

nd it came to pass the same day, that Isaac’s servants came, and told him concerning the well which they had digged, and said unto him, we have found water” (Genesis 26:32).

Due to addictions, insecurities, wrong spirits, guilt from past failures, worry, or depression many women in the church are experiencing a stopped up well with no flow of joy or peace in their hearts. Perhaps sickness in their body has drained them dry; or doubt, fear, or worry has sucked their life out. Many feel empty, without love or meaning, and are continuously thirsty for the next drink in an effort to satisfy the gnawing in their soul.

Some have wells plugged up with hurt, a lie, or painful words; and they are dry from a lack of forgiveness.

Everyone has a memory, a hurt that stings, something we think we have forgiven, but it keeps coming back up. This is an indication that we know in our heads we need to forgive, but we have not gotten that truth down to our heart.

In Maria Durso’s book, “From Your Head to Your Heart,” she speaks much on the subject of offense and how we make the choice to forgive and let it go or hang on and let it grow. She warns that the offended usually becomes the offender, the bitten becomes the biter, and that unforgiveness is like a leech in your heart that sucks out your purpose and drains your strength and creativity. It will affect and infect your anointing.

In Genesis 26 we read that there was a severe famine in the land yet Isaac seemed to prosper. The Philistines were jealous and filled up his wells with dirt depriving his flocks of the water they needed to live. It was a declaration of war, yet Isaac did not retaliate.

To add insult to injury, Abimelech asked him to take his possessions and leave. To avoid conflict, Isaac and his servants moved on and simply dug again. They found a gushing underground spring with an unlimited flow, but the enemy came declaring the wells to be theirs. Putting God first, he peacefully moved on and built an altar. His servants began digging another…and wouldn’t you know it … Abimelech shows up. He comes to make a treaty with Isaac. I sense Isaac knew in his head that forgiveness and reconciliation were the right things to do in the eyes of God. In order to have inner peace, he had to forgive and let it go rather than hang onto unforgiveness and let it grow. As those thoughts moved the eighteen inches from his head to his heart, I believe he felt a release in his spirit resulting in joy. He prepared a feast, and they ate together. The next morning they made a solemn oath of peace between themselves. Verse 32 states, “the same day…Isaac’s servants came and said unto him, we have found water.” When he truly forgave, there was a fresh flow from a new well.

The challenge for us is to be quick to forgive and to dig until we hear the shout from our hearts: “I have found water.” LET IT GO AND LET IT FLOW… barrenness, and drought of heart and spirit is not the destiny God has chosen for you. Your destiny is victory, deliverance, wholeness, reconciliation and a well of water continuously springing up within your soul. If necessary, move on and dig again.

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ITE 2016 IGNNCE CONFEREER! SPEAK

The Secret FUNERAL of MISCARRIAGES P ain is temporary. Yet, in that moment of pain, it effects everything in you. Moments when heart break can’t be washed away. Those moments when hurt pushes its way deep into your gut and forces its way back up to your heart. That doubled over, gut wrenching pain. Emotional pain. The kind of pain that medicine can’t fix. I wish those times didn’t exist. But they do.

Looking back, my pain was miscarried. I never allowed those close to me to help carry the weight of my pain. The instance it arrived I began to mourn deep inside my soul.

But I mourned in secret. I was holding a secret funeral in my heart that I never allowed anyone to attend.

In 2014, I miscarried two babies.

To help bring a frame of mind, think of it this way….

Picture in your mind the person in life that is your best friend. You connect with them. You talk to them. You share secrets. They provide laughter. They make you feel comfortable. There’s no way you could go weeks without talking to them. You do life with them. They know you.

They love you for who you are.

Now take all those feel good thoughts and feelings…. and stomp on them. Tell yourself that they no longer exist and all those connections you have with that person are gone. You can’t talk to them anymore. They are gone.

THAT IS A TINY GLIMPSE INTO THE PAIN OF MISCARRIAGE. Forget that this little person never spoke a word to you.

It was life. Their life mattered.

Anger. Bitterness. Fear. Loss of hope. Broken. Confused. You once had this person you loved so much only to unexpectedly lose them.

Miscarriages can be what I like to call “a secret funeral.”

Depending on how far along the baby has developed, most of the time there is not a funeral held. I know some hospitals provide that, no matter how far along the baby has grown. Some funeral homes provide that care as well.

In my case, with all the shock that consumed our hearts,

there was no plan for a funeral. At the time, we didn’t even know we had the option to do a funeral. So we returned home with broken hearts that needed so much healing.

Like so many women, I chose to suffer alone. I mourned for my babies that I would never get to hold. I wondered who they would look like. Would they have loved sports like mommy and daddy? I thought about how my heart would feel when my arms were wrapped around them.

How soft their cheeks would feel when I gave them nightnight kisses. What would they be when they grew up?

They would have had so much fun with their big sister.

Even the dog would have learned to love them. Most importantly, how they would have learned how much Jesus loves them.

All these thoughts washed over me as I mourned in secret. I never invited anyone to the end of my baby’s existence, I just held this secret funeral inside my heart.

My wonderful husband stood by my side to talk to and to cry with. I did the same for him. I also talked/yelled/listened, more times than I can count, to God about it. But as all men and women know, we are very different from each other. For me, I am a private person. So in turn, I suffered privately.

In the short time I had with my unborn children I claimed them as my own. I connected with them as they grew inside me. They were a gift from God that I cherished. So when that loss happened, the suffering ran deep.

As time passed though, my suffering slowly began to release its grip on me. God’s love began to seep into the deep ravines that had formed in my heart. In time, His peace surrounded me. It held me. My heart was finding freedom in Jesus.

I held tight to Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

I knew in my mind that my life was in Christ’s hands.

I just needed my heart to catch up. And it did.

- GPS 20 -

Looking back, there was one important thing that I learned from this time in my life….

Life isn’t meant to suffer alone.

I wish I had acknowledged that.

So if I were to go back and write a letter to myself, this is what it would say: From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are walking through. I know the thoughts you had about your baby. Wondering what that child would have been like as a 2 year old. What would be their first word? Who would they look like the most? When they were 10 years old, would they be a baseball player or a lover of music? What would their dreams look like?

What would captivate their attention? What would it feel like with their arms wrapped around you? I know the feeling of your heart being shattered into tiny little pieces and wondering how it will ever come back together. It is a deep hurt like none other.

I understand that pain. I also understand the feelings of trying for so long to have a child but not being able to conceive. You already have a child but that doesn’t mean the pain of not having another one is of lesser value.

Here is what I know is true… I learned that the only remedy I had to heal me from my pain was to give it all to Christ. He gave His life for me so that I could have eternal life with Him. I had invited Him into my heart a long time ago, to love me in all my pain. So I knew He could repair my broken pieces. It has only been Jesus that has brought healing and restoration to my broken heart. You don’t have to hurt alone. I wish I had talked more with my trusted friends and family. They are here to love you through this.

Just because they haven’t all been in your shoes doesn’t mean they can’t help in the healing process. They are your closest family and friends for a reason.

As for that secret funeral, don’t let it happen that way. I am here to let you know, you are not alone. You may not know it at the time, but I now know there are friends out there who have been through that same experience. More than likely, the woman sitting next to you has been through a miscarriage. It’s more common than you think. Don’t suffer alone. Reach out to people. It’s amazing how many friendships run deeper over suffering.

One more thing.

To my friends out there who have suffered quietly through a miscarriage.

If I had been at your secret funeral, I would stand beside you, cry with you and mourn with you.

I would have spoken the same words I felt when we

came to the end of my precious babies’ existence.

With my arms wrapped around you I would say to you: “To the baby you never got to hold…. he was beautiful. To those that knew of him, he changed their lives. He brought so much joy into their hearts. He would have had so much fun with Mommy and Daddy. He wouldn’t even know what to do with all the love you poured out on him.

His grandparents would have spoiled him rotten. His big sister or brother would have been the best playmate for which he could have asked. I know you would have done everything in your power to give him a great life. You would have prayed over him each night and tucked him in to bed with a goodnight story. One day he would learn how good Jesus is and how much He loves him, in hopes that one day he would fall in love with Jesus and ask Him into his heart. But now, he has received something even greater. He is now in Heaven, closer to Jesus then we’ll ever be here on earth. I know you are so proud of him and will always, always love him.

Also, it’s ok for the brokenness to heal. It’s ok for it to take time. Don’t rush the healing process. It will hurt, but your heart will thank you for it. You are strong. You are brave for enduring this pain. So, so brave. It’s ok to feel like giving up. You will have those moments when you want to throw in the towel and quit, but do me a favor.

Don’t quit. You are stronger than that. God is near. Just call out His name and He will give you strength where you are weak. He will hold you.

Thank you for the time you poured into your child.

Thank you for the love you freely gave. You are a good momma. Never forget that.” * Update: An hour after the author released this blog on October 28th, 2015 she was shocked to find out she was pregnant.

She and her husband are now expecting a baby boy on July 4th, 2016. Before Jared and Lindsey knew each other they both had a name picked out if they ever had a little boy. The meaning of that name is “God has been gracious. He has shown favor.” The name could not be more fitting for this special gift from God. Jackson Snider is that gift.

Lindsey Snider

Lindsey was born and raised in Oklahoma. She is currently serving as a Creative Specialist for the IPHC. Lindsey loves to travel with her family, blow bubbles with her daughter, cheer on the Texas Rangers with her hubby, and cuddle with their dog, Frisco.

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TOGETHER R

ecently I was preparing my messages and workshop outlines for an event I had been invited to in Sunnyside, Washington. It was a Tea Party/ Fashion Show Event for Mothers and Daughters. I was at my desk looking over my notes. I inserted a thought about how our heart vision is really His passion working together with our gifts, talents, and our unique personalities to fulfill our purpose. Suddenly, the word “TOGETHER” stuck out as I stared at it. I saw it in three parts, “TO GET HER”. I had a WOW moment with it. The next few hours I pondered on what God was trying to show me.

As I researched the meaning of the word together, I was also curious to see if anyone else had creatively divided the word together into three words, To Get Her. And sure enough, I learned that a female music artist made a song along those lines, but the lyrics are way on the other side, if you can imagine, from what God was showing me.

My WOW moment was about the spiritual insight I was getting: God in us, - to

TOGETHER, TO GET HER

get His Bride to stay faithful and supportive of one other, all of us doing our own unique part in the power of love.

From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:16

The word together means: •

Dictionary: with each other Spiritually, I saw it as meaning: the Body of Christ, with each other, working together ‘to get her’ to stay in Him. • Dictionary: in or into one group, mixture, piece, etc…

Spiritually, you and I are a mixture of Christ and us. We are together in Christ, and together as a group, unified as one piece, working together ‘to get her’ to stay united as one.

• Dictionary: in a close relationship Spiritually, we are to seek an intimate and close relationship with our Father to maintain our togetherness with Him in order to be all we can be ‘to get her’ to know the power that is in her for victorious living.

As I continued reading the full definition of together, I was being blessed by the wording of Webster’s dictionary.

More spiritual insights were feeding my spirit as I read the additional definitions:

• •

in or into one place, mass, collection, or group in or into contact (as connection or union) in or into association or relationship • at one time, in succession • by combined action in or into agreement or harmony, in or into a unified or coherent structure or an integrated whole • with each other, as a unit, considered as a whole, counted or summed This was an enlightening study for me. I was uplifted by His Word with the following:

1. Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Psalm 85:10

2. How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! Psalm 133:1 3. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. Psalm 34:3

[Jesus] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created: things in Heaven and on Earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold TOGETHER. And He is the head of the body, the Church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on Earth or things in Heaven, by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross.

Colossians 1:15-20

…May we continue to stay together in Him, to GO together…TO GET HER, our lost friends and family members, who by God’s grace will be added to the Bride of Christ!

Lydia Treviño

Board Member IPHC Women’s Ministries

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BUILDING with CARE Irvina Parker

iparker@iphc.org Director IPHC Girls’ Ministries

A

lot of my childhood memories take me back to some specifics locations where I watched my dad as he built houses and churches during his 50+ years as a church planter and pastor. I will confess that I didn’t always un¬derstand everything I saw as a young child, but I could sense its importance. Everything had to be done accord¬ing to code allowing it to pass the inspections along the way.

Paramount to the beginning of any construction is the foundation and its many elements. The soil must be just right or adjustments must be made. Once that is done, the trenches are dug and rebar is strategically placed inside for added strength before it is filled with concrete. Sometimes, depending on the soil, piers have to be poured for extra support. Next comes a stem wall with more rebar and more concrete. And finally, after all the plumbing and electrical gets set, the concrete slab is poured. Everything else builds on this foundation.

Both my personal life and my job as Girls’ Ministries director seem to be focusing right now on foundations and building. As we celebrate the 70th birthday of IPHC Girls’ Ministries this year, my husband David and I are doing something we never dreamed we would be doing 40 years into marriage. We are building a new home!

We were honestly quite overwhelmed by all the decisions we had to make before the foundation could begin.

While we were making our choices on the home itself, the engineers were making sure the ground was ready for the foundation. Matthew 7:25 declares, “The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”

While I seriously doubt the engineers were thinking of this scripture as they were doing their jobs, David and I were. We left the technical side of the foundation to their expertise, but we asked for permission to do something that was of even greater importance to us. One of my childhood memories is of daddy always placing Bibles at the four corners of the foundation. It was a symbolic gesture of building on God’s Word. I wanted to follow suit in our new home. David and I chose specific Scriptures that we wanted at each corner and then went a step further by adding a Bible at both entrances to the home and at the kitchen, the center of our home. We opened each Bible to the specific Scriptures we wanted to claim for our home and strategically placed them before the concrete was poured. It was our declaration to God that we would continue to build our lives upon His principles and His Word.

David and I were both blessed to have been born into homes that were built on a solid foundation with Jesus Christ as the cornerstone (Ephesians 2:19-22). Thankfully, we were taught the importance of developing a rela¬tionship with Christ that had deep roots. A surface relationship with Christ is not enough. The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a testament to what happens when the foundation is compromised. The foundation was much too shal¬low and it was set in soil that was weak and unstable. It created a problem from the start. The only reason it still stands at its tilted angle today is because there have been numerous foundation repairs.

As parents, and now grandparents, David and I understand that Christ is the foundation and we must continue to build on that foundation. 1 Corinthians 3:10, “By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder,

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and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care.” Building with care means mak¬ing sure that our children fully grasp who Christ is and that we nurture their walk with Him. As leaders in the church, we have an obligation to continue to build on the foundation that those before us have laid. This year, Girls’ Ministries is celebrating a rich heritage of 70 years of ministry. Generations of ladies have worked tirelessly to build a ministry that would teach our girls and young ladies how to develop their own relationships with Christ. It is our duty and privilege to continue that ministry. For us today, building with care means that we need to assess the needs of the girls in our own local churches. What are we doing to help them and their parents? What are we doing to foster an atmosphere of deeper understanding? Building with care may even mean that we will have to do some foundational repair, perhaps even in our own lives first. For others, there may not even be a foundation in place yet. Your assessment will help you know where to go next.

The passages that David and I chose to place in our home’s foundation are some fundamental principles that we believe are important to building a godly home from which ministry can flow. Consider choosing some key scriptures of your own to guide you in your ministry to girls (or to whomever your ministry may be directed). Dwell on them continually and add to them as you grow and develop. If you have a daughter or are already working with girls, lead them in a similar exercise. Allow these principles to truly mold your lifestyle as de¬scribed in Deuteronomy 11:19 where it says to “teach them to your chil-

dren, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (NIV).

Laying the foundation for David and Irvina’s Oklahoma City home.

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TOOLS for the FAMILY HOPE Magazine

>>QUESTION

“I have a 5 year old whose grandfather passed away. He asked me “Why do people have to die?” How do I break it down into simple terms for him to understand?” >>ANSWER by Children’s Ministries Consultant, Dr. Ellen Moore This can certainly be a challenging conversation, partially because of our own thoughts and emotions regarding the death of a loved one. The important thing is to talk, even if you don’t say everything perfectly and the conversation’s a little messy. Let your child ask any questions they have and answer them the best you can. It will be helpful to keep in mind that kids this young process the world around them in very concrete terms. You can explain that God gave us all a body for our lives on earth, but our bodies don’t last forever. They get tired, old, or sick, and eventually die, kind of like a toy wears out or a flower dies. It is sad when this happens. The good news is that the “real” us is on the inside. The part of us that loves God and loves people will live forever. For those of us who love Jesus, we will see each other other again someday in heaven. Even though it is sad that we can’t see that person any more right now, we can still be happy and thankful for the good times we had. It might be helpful, for both of you, to make a poster of the things you loved about Grandpa, things you did together, and fun memories you have. Keep your words as simple as possible, don’t give them more information than they’re asking for, and ask and trust God for the wisdom and the words.

Send your questions to kids@iphc.org!

“HOPE” is such an incredible word and we believe we have a lot to be hopeful about.

As a denomination, we desire to be a “people of hope and a place of promise,” and as the Children’s Ministry of the IPHC we are endeavoring to equip those involved with children because they are the hope of the next generation.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark 10:14).

This digital magazine is designed to encourage and equip you to do what God has called you to do. We are committed to providing HOPE to those influencing kids on a regular basis – parents, as well as children’s ministry staff and volunteers at the local and conference levels.

To download this free resource, go to iphc.org/kidmin.

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You can cut out this quote page and place it in a cute 8x10 frame!

Design by Megan Miller @ohhoneypaperco

at home with MARIA DURSO

New York boasts some pretty terrific people and we got to know one fabulous New Yorker, Maria Durso! As the 2016 IPHC Ignite Conference speaker, we wanted to get to know Maria and all her quircks. She recently published her first book, From Your Head to Your Heart, which is the 2016 IPHC Women’s Ministry Book Study. She co-pastors alongside her wonderful husband at Christ Tabernacle. God continues to open doors for her to minister in conferences, seminars, and retreats. Connect with Maria Durso at MariaDurso.com.

Items You Will Find In My Purse:

Favorite Scripture:

Favorite Junk Food:

My Personal Motto:

If I Could Have A Superpower:

I Love To Shop For:

As A Kid, I Wanted To Be:

I Can’t Leave Home Without:

If I Could Live Anywhere, It Would Be: I’d Do Anything To Avoid:

Favorite Item Of Clothing:

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