www.iolaregister.com
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
The Iola Register
B7
Emotional harm can start physical harm Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are at an impasse in our relationship. We cannot see each other’s points of view and are just existing in a miserable state. I’ve begged for marriage counseling for a year, which just yesterday he reluctantly agreed to. However, he has basically stated that when marriage counseling fails (not if), “I give up.” We have kids and we love each other, we just can’t seem to live together right now. Am I wasting my time saving a relationship that he sees as doomed? — Marriage on the Cliff He agreed to marriage counseling, so go. Even if it fails, counseling won’t have been a waste because it’s a basic step before giving up altogether. That may seem silly, but it can be important to be able to tell yourself you “tried everything.” And, if you choose well, your therapist can help you through whatever the
Tell Me About It Carolyn Hax next step happens to be. One suggestion before you start: Go into counseling looking for new ways to understand what’s happening, new ways to frame your marriage, new ways to speak to your husband, vs. a new way to save the marriage or get your husband to see your side. Set only the goals that are within your control. Re: Marriages “failing”:
I hate that term. I read the other day about someone’s marriage failing after 35 years and three kids. Um, no. It ended. Lots of good came out of it, and then things changed, and it ended. “Failed” makes it sound as if the fact of being married is the accomplishment. It is also terribly
judgmental. OK, said my piece. — Anonymous Quite well, thanks. We were talking about the possibility that counseling would fail, but the argument still applies. Thank you for taking my question last week [about disagreements with my boyfriend]. I was surprised when you included the domestic violence link because he had never been violent. He still hasn’t been, but that weekend he yelled at me pretty bad, and systematically insulted my entire character. When we talked normally he said he was purposely trying to hurt my feelings. He admitted he should have communicated better, but never apologized for yelling, though I apologized for “setting him off” multiple times. I broke up with him. — Different Perspectives again Every person who becomes violent was, preceding that point, not violent.
Plus, domestic violence education is applicable to situations of verbal/ emotional abuse, because they’re just different points on the same continuum. When someone thinks it’s okay to cause you deliberate harm in one way, how much of a leap is it to another kind of deliberate harm? As for why I made abuse connections when you hadn’t even mentioned yelling, it was this: “He feels that if we go somewhere together we SHOULD spend every second together.” That’s classic control, which is a predictor of relationship violence. It’s in the warning-signs section of the pamphlet. Even though you broke up (phew), I think you still would benefit from reading more on the topic. “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker is eyeopening, and a quick and absorbing read. Take care.
the Petition.
collect a debt and any information obtained will be used for that purpose. Prepared By: South & Associates, P.C. Blair Gisi (KS # 24096) 245 N. Waco, Suite 400 Wichita, KS 67202 (316)684-7733 (316)684-7766 (Fax) Attorneys For Plaintiff (167051)
Public notice (First published in The Iola Register on April 9, 2014) IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS CIVIL DEPARTMENT Great Southern Bank Plaintiff, vs. Jocelyn K. Sheets; John Doe (Tenant/Occupant); Mary Doe (Tenant/Occupant); Unknown Spouse, if any, of Jocelyn K. Sheets,
Townsite to the City of Iola, commonly known as 206 West Jackson, Iola, KS 66749 (the “Property”) and all those defendants who have not otherwise been served are required to plead to the Petition on or before the 20th day of May, 2014, in the District Court of Allen County, Kansas. If you fail to plead, judgment and decree will be entered in due course upon
NOTICE Pursuant to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, 15 U.S.C. §1692c(b), no information concerning the collection of this debt may be given without the prior consent of the consumer given directly to the debt collector or the express permission of a court of competent jurisdiction. The debt collector is attempting to
DAILY CRYPTOQUOTES - Here’s how to work it:
Defendants.
Case No. 14CV22 Court Number: Pursuant to K.S.A. Chapter 60 NOTICE OF SUIT THE STATE OF KANSAS, to the above-named defendants and the unknown heirs, executors, administrators, devisees, trustees, creditors and assigns of any deceased defendants; the unknown spouses of any defendants; the unknown officers, successors, trustees, creditors and assigns of any defendants that are existing, dissolved or dormant corporations; the unknown executors, administrators, devisees, trustees, creditors, successors and assigns of any defendants that are or were partners or in partnership; the unknown guardians, conservators and trustees of any defendants that are minors or are under any legal disability; and the unknown heirs, executors, administrators, devisees, trustees, creditors and assigns of any person alleged to be deceased, and all other persons who are or may be concerned. You are notified that a Petition has been filed in the District Court of Allen County, Kansas, praying to foreclose a real estate mortgage on the following described real estate: LOT TWO (2) AND THREE (3), BLOCK FIFTY-FIVE (55), ORIGINAL TOWNSITE TO THE CITY OF IOLA ALSO DESCRIBED AS: Lots Two (2) and Three (3), Block Fifty-Five (55), Original
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