IN Magazine: September/October 2018

SEPTEMBER / OCtober 2018

Biphobia in our own backyard Has the ‘golden age of drag’ forgotten about the kings?

Brock McGillis is breaking barriers in sport, one goal at a time 1

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inmagazine.ca PUBLISHER Patricia Salib GUEST EDITOR Christopher Turner ART DIRECTOR Prairie Koo FASHION DIRECTOR Danyl Geneciran SENIOR WRITER Paul Gallant CONTRIBUTORS Sergio Araneo, Natalie Asumeng, Gastohn Barrios, Bobby Box, Kalvin Coria, Colin Druhan, Aram Eginliyan, Adriana Ermter, Ruth Hanley, Courtney Hardwick, Karen Kwan, Aydin Matlabi, George Pimentel, Brian Phillips, Michael Pihach, Al Ramsay, Jumol Royes, Daniela Rubio, Adam Segal, Courtney Truong, Doug Wallace, Ashley L. Williams, Casey Williams, Marianne Wisenthal DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Reggie Lanuza MARKETING AND PROMOTIONS MANAGER Bradley Blaylock

september / october 2018

CONTROLLER Jackie Zhao

ADVERTISING & OTHER INQUIRIES (416) 800-4449 ext 100 info@inmagazine.ca

EDITORIAL INQUIRIES (416) 800-4449 ext 201 editor@inmagazine.ca

PRODUCTION ads@inmagazine.ca

IN Magazine is published six times per year by The Mint Media Group. All rights reserved.

182 Davenport Rd, Suite #250 Toronto, Ontario, M5R 1J2

Cover photo by Adam Deunk

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Contents

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Minnesota United FC player Collin Martin made headlines when he publicly announced he was gay this summer. better place on forthe LGBTQ athletes He received a standing ovation at his first appearance field as an openly gay player

issue 84 september / october 2018

INFRONT

06 | Refresh And Reset Five treatments to get you back into tip-top shape for fall

08 | Using Lasers To Lose Those Last Stubborn Pounds These non-surgical procedures were designed to contour problematic areas of fat 10 | Biphobia In Our Own Backyard People who identify as bisexual face a lot of stereotyping and discrimination 11 | Breaking Up Is Hard To Do When a past relationship is holding you back 12 | Call It A Comeback Tips on getting back in the game after a sports injury 13 | Sharing Is Caring But...here’s what you really need to know 15 | Spilling The Tea On Guys Who Party And Play New initiative to provide safer partying education and awareness for guys who are into guys

17 | Honouring Canadian Entrepreneurs, And Celebrating Small Businesses Canada’s small businesses are making an outstanding contribution

18 | Get Sporty With These Athletic Rides Roll into fall with four very different vehicles that can handle a ll of your equipment 19 | ON THE TOWN Scenes from the party circuit

FEATURES 20 | Out Athletes Who Have Made Headlines In 2018 Sports may be the final frontier for LGBT representation, but that’s changing one athlete at a time 22 | Has The ‘Golden Age Of Drag’ Forgotten About The Kings?

“We’ve got a lot more in common with queens than things that set us apart” 24 | Boy Is The New Girl Is The New Boy...

21-year-old jUDE Karda recently came out as transgender non-binary, and is taking social media by storm 26 | Brock McGillis: Breaking Barriers In Sport, One Goal At A Time This former hockey pro is making sport a

31 | Learning The Lessons The school of Sex and the City is in session 44 | Thirst And Sanctimony On Social Media There’s certainly something beautiful about the shamelessness of Instagays 46 | Way West Coast A Vancouver Island culinary road trip yields bold libations, divine seafood, big hikes and heavenly hydrotherapy 50 | FLASHBACK: September 23, 1999 in LGBT history Bi Visibility Day, aka Bisexual Day, was founded to celebrate the bisexual community

FASHION 30 | The Reign Of Sports Style How athleisure took over the fashion world, and why the ultra-easy style isn’t going anywhere any time soon 32 | Daylight Saving Safeguard in autumn’s playful layering for a silhouette that pales in comparison 40 | Overlaying Fall is the season for layering — a style that not only keeps you warm, but can take your look to the next level

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Refresh And Reset Five treatments to get you back into tip-top shape for fall

september / october 2018

By Adriana Ermter

As hard as it is to wave goodbye to summer’s easy-going and carefree vibe, there’s something satisfying about getting back into a fall routine. We asked five beauty and grooming experts to suggest the best rejuvenating services to book now so you’re organized and ready for everything the new season has in store.

The treatment: Fotona SP Dynamos Laser Hair Removal This treatment – the ultimate in hair-growth removal – uses the power of light to target pigment within the hair follicle to destroy the follicle and prevent further growth.

Why do it: The Fotona SP Dynamos laser hair removal system is touch-free and fast, and promises to eliminate unwanted body hair. “It’s safe to use on all skin types,” says Dr. Mansour Bendago, a plastic and reconstructive surgeon at the Toronto Cosmetic Clinic. “Laser hair removal saves time and money. It helps with ingrown hairs and, as an added benefit, can help even out the skin tone on treated areas.”

When to book: Once your summer tan has faded, so there is maximum contrast between the colour of your skin and the unwanted hair. “The underarms and bikini and groin are the most common areas of stubborn hair growth,” says Dr. Bendago. “So on average, six to 10 sessions are needed, spaced four to six weeks apart.”

The price: From $100 per appointment.

Cool fact: While there is some discomfort, the Fotona SP Dynamos uses a cooling method to make it more comfortable. Plus, once the hair is gone, you can wave goodbye to razor burns, nicks and cuts.

The treatment: Anti-acne facial Exfoliating dead skin cells, plus all that dirt and grime buildup, can help to heal and reduce or even eliminate your facial acne.

Why do it: Spending the summer outdoors in the heat and sunshine takes a toll on your skin, often with a built-up layer of dead skin cells that can cause flaking and trap excess oil, causing unwanted spots. “A professional facial can help to smooth the skin for an improved appearance and feel, as it rids the skin of dry flakes and dead skin cells for a better glow,” says Charmaine Cooper, 6

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education manager at The International Dermal Institute and Dermalogica Canada. The aesthetician’s techniques, combined with the ingredients in the products used, will help to “purify and detoxify the skin and help to improve the skin’s natural cell renewal rate.” Plus, Cooper says, “facials deep-clean, lock in moisture, fight bacteria and inflammation, and improve scarring or pigmentation.”

When to book: From as often as every month for more challenging cases of acne, to every third month if you’re looking for deep cleansing and extraction of blackheads and whiteheads.

The price: From $65 per appointment.

Cool fact: Facial scrubs, which are often incorporated into anti-acne services, “use abrasive ingredients [think rice, jojoba or synthetic beads, salt, pumice stone or apricot kernels, sugar, coffee grounds] to smooth the outermost part of the skin’s surface,” says Cooper.

The treatment: Cosmetic facial acupuncture Based on the principles of Chinese medicine, this non-surgical treatment reduces the signs of aging by inserting super-thin, disposable needles into the acupuncture points on the face to increase circulation and stimulate collagen production.

Why do it: To eliminate fine lines from the sun, soften deeper lines, add radiance and tighten the skin – all for a healthy, glowing complexion. “It can also help to minimize dark circles, puffy eyes, double chin, sagging skin and dropping eyelids,” adds Kevin Liu, a registered acupuncturist at the Cosmetic Acupuncture Clinic in Toronto. “It gives people with dull, tired-looking skin rosy cheeks.”

When to book: Two months (eight weeks) before any major event.

Liu recommends booking 10 to 12 sessions in total, with one to three treatments per week. “Each individual will respond differently, depending on their age and lifestyle,” says Liu. “Visible results will be noticeable after the sixth appointment.”

The price: $120 per appointment.

Cool fact: Virtually pain-free, cosmetic facial acupuncture also promises to tighten pores, control acne, improve digestion, increase energy and even give you a better night’s sleep.

The treatment: Teeth whitening A quick and easy way to put the sparkle back into your smile, teeth whitening quickly and easily removes stains (from summertime indulgence with too many glasses of sangria) and whitens teeth using a gel-based peroxide. “The peroxide will penetrate through the outer layers of the tooth and change the colour,” explains Dr. David A. Gardner, founder of the Gardner Dental Centre in Toronto.

Why do it: “A bright and radiant smile exudes youth, health, vitality and confidence,” says Dr. Gardner. Feeling and exuding confidence is important, whether you’re speaking with your colleagues and meeting with clients, or trying to make an impression on a special someone – or just want to give yourself a little pick-me-up.

When to book: Any time is a good time for whitening your teeth.

If you have a convention or important event looming in the near future, leave yourself enough time for a touch-up session after your initial treatment for last-minute bleaching and polishing sessions.

And don’t forget to book your teeth-cleaning session beforehand, says Dr. Gardner, adding that for maximum effect “your teeth should always be properly cleaned before whitening.”

The price: From $250 per session.

Cool fact: For fun, add a touch of bronzer to your cheeks the next time you’re heading out to a work function or have an important presentation with your boss. “A little colour can heighten the contrasting effect of brighter teeth,” says Dr. Gardner.

ADRIANA ERMTER is a Toronto-based, lifestyle-magazine pro who has travelled the globe, writing about must-spritz fragrances, child poverty, beauty and grooming.

POISE & STRENGTH By the 1970`s, a revolution was underway and it would positively change the world as we know it. The LGBTQ community had momentum that would not, and will not, be stopped. To-date, it flourishes with all its poise and strength.

During the same time in the 1970`s, Manuel Carrera, the great grandson of the Carrera y Carrera founder, was the force behind a Spanish jewellery brand that would revolutionize how jewellery was designed and appreciated by all who would choose to wear it. Manuel`s vision was founded upon the rigorous and demanding creative process building upon art and science, sculpture and design.

Carrera y Carrera`s exquisite pieces are all handmade and pass through several artisans in Madrid`s workshop, making the 2 month production period a usual process for the intricate and sophisticated designs.

Inspired by the natural beauty and rich culture of Spain, each piece from start to finish is designed and handcrafted by a team of skilled artisans and designers. Each meticulously inspected before receiving its own individual serial number.

Icons such as Madonna, Sofia Vergara, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and Jennifer Lopez, just to name a few, choose Carrera y Carrera for various red carpets, galas, and for their own personal collections.

With a legacy of more than 130 years and global recognition, the first North American boutique opened in Toronto in 2016, bringing these unique and artistic handcrafted pieces, allowing jewellery lovers to express their individuality.

138 Cumberland Street (Old York Lane) Toronto 416-927-8181 - carreraycarrera.ca

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The treatment: Manicures and pedicures Just because summer’s over doesn’t mean the fun has to be over too – take a break for a therapeutic massage that will relax and stimulate your hands and feet.

Why do it: Now that it’s fall, you’re back at it 24/7, whether that means racing to the subway in the morning, fitting in a lunchtime game of racquetball or simply sitting at your desk typing.

Manicures and pedicures can help relieve tension and carpal tunnel syndrome, and reduce foot cramps from all of this activity, while simultaneously eliminating calluses, hangnails, ingrown nails and dry skin. “Soaking and exfoliating your hands and feet is therapeutic and relaxing,” says Toula Bintas, an aesthetician and co-owner of Allazo Skin Care in Toronto. “Hydrating your skin and then painting your nails with a fresh coat of clear or coloured nail polish will also make you look and feel great.”

When to book: Whenever you have a little down time and want a pick-me-up service. Bintas recommends booking a mani/pedi combination service every other month to remove calluses and deeply moisturize the skin. “Pedicures are especially beneficial if you’re prone to ingrown toenails, which can be very painful, especially if you wear high heels or when you’re working out at the gym.”

The price: $40+ per appointment.

Cool fact: Pedicures feature reflexology benefits. Your aesthetician may not be trained in reflexology, but the results from the foot rub are similar: relaxation and rejuvenation.

l o o k ing g o o d

Using Lasers To Lose Those Last Stubborn Pounds These non-surgical procedures were designed to contour problematic areas of fat that do not yield with traditional dieting or exercise

By Christopher Turner

The pressure to look picture-perfect is on, and more people than ever are seeking out ways to improve their appearance. One of the most sought-out, non-surgical treatments? A quick-fix solution to tame belly fat, decrease waistlines and get rid of those pesky love handles.

For years, liposuction was seemingly the magical answer when diet and exercise had been exhausted (or seemed like too much trouble). But then came the advent of non-invasive fat-reducing procedures, such as CoolSculpting and SculpSure. Both of these fat-zapping options have dramatically increased in popularity since they were approved south of the border by the FDA in 2010.

Statistics from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons show that between 2016 and 2017 there was a seven per cent increase in non-invasive fat reduction procedures that promise to zap away fat.

In fact, fat-reducing procedures are now in the top five non-invasive procedures performed.

“Stubborn belly fat that won’t disappear with diet and exercise has always been a concern for some of my clients,” says Dr. Stephen Mulholland, a plastic surgeon and owner of SpaMedica in Toronto. “Thankfully, there are so many effective non-invasive body contouring treatments available now.”

september / october 2018

When it comes to CoolSculpting and SculpSure, here’s what the hype is about and what you need to know if you’re considering a non-invasive fat-reduction procedure in the near future.

CoolSculpting: Freezing away the fat cells This uber-popular fat-freezing technique, also known as cryolipolysis, gives both men and women an alternative to surgery. Marketed as a non-invasive way to eliminate stubborn fat cells, the FDAapproved treatments take a couple of hours (depending on the number of treatment areas) with zero downtime. Unlike liposuction, you do not need anesthesia, a long hospital stay or weeks of recovery.

pocket of fat on the body – think your lower or upper abdomen, flanks, back, underarms and other areas of the body – about the size of a stick of butter; it then clamps down and cools that section of skin and fat. It’s a clunky process that involves Sharpies to mark the exact spots and gel pads to protect the surface of the skin that gets sucked up into the mouthpiece, but it’s surprisingly painless. Each treatment area takes about an hour, and throughout that hour your fat cells are targeted, cooled and crystallized, essentially killing them.

An hour later, when the treated area is frozen and the applicator is removed, a therapist will massage the frozen lump of skin, which is uncomfortable for most patients, but not unbearable. There are no needles or surgical tools, and there are no long recovery times.

Over the months that follow, the body naturally rids itself of these dead fat cells, and the excess flab slowly disappears.

You can go back to your normal schedule following your treatment, although areas may feel slightly numb or tingly for a few days. Dr. Mulholland advises patients to lay off the gym for a day or so, and drink plenty of water.

SculpSure: Heating away the fat cells SculpSure essentially aims for the same end result as CoolSculpting, but with the exact opposite approach. Meaning? Instead of freezing fat cells, targeted heat is used to kill the fat cells.

“SculpSure uses an external laser to target localized areas of diet- and exercise-resisted fat,” says Dr. Mulholland. “It can be used on all skin types, all ages, all fat and body type distributions, and even tanned patients.”

“It’s a non-surgical treatment designed to kill fat dead,” says Dr. Mulholland. “There are no real risks and the results are pleasantly predictable.”

With SculpSure treatments, applicators are placed over the treatment areas (essentially the same areas that can be targeted with CoolSculpting) and then a laser heats the fat in those areas to the point of irreversible damage. The applicators can be used on small or larger localized areas that are being targeted. Once damaged, the fat cells are slowly eliminated from the body by the lymphatic system. After your treatment is over you can go back to your normal day. As with CoolSculpting, it takes a few months to see full results.

CoolSculpting uses controlled cooling to target and eliminate localized fat cells. A vacuum-sucking apparatus is placed on a small

As with CoolSculpting, there are no needles or surgical tools, no local or topical anesthesia, and no long recovery times. The big

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difference between the two procedures is time – with SculpSure, each treatment area takes about 25 minutes.

treatment, but there is absolutely no scarring of the skin or damaged nerves.

“Where some patients may spend as much as four hours or more treating CoolSculpt zones, most SculpSure patients can achieve the same or better results in less than one hour,” says Dr. Mulholland.

Both CoolSculpting and SculpSure are approved to treat almost all the same areas where stubborn fat is common. However, there are still a few things to consider when choosing between fat-zapping treatments.

Of course, SculpSure, like CoolSculpting, is not a weight-loss procedure. It is only meant for stubborn pockets of fat that have not responded to diet or exercise.

CoolSculpting’s cooling action has a numbing effect, while SculpSure must reach a fairly high temperature to be effective. Both treatments are designed to be safe for the skin, but it’s safe to say that different people have different preferences (hot vs. cold) and different pain thresholds.

And both treatments can be combined with other body-sculpting and firming treatments.

“Most clinics that offer non-invasive fat destruction and body-sculpting treatments will deploy other, synergistic technologies, in addition, to improve and increase the amount of localized fat destruction,” says Dr. Mulholland. These treatments can include BodyFx, UltraShape, and popular, bulk-heating skin-tightening RF (radiofrequency) treatments such as the Venus Freeze, Forma and Excilis.

Which one should I get?

One of the biggest perks associated with both procedures is that there’s no real downtime and the risks are minimal. You might expect some light bruising, swelling or soreness after your

Time can also be a factor. SculpSure is three times faster than other technologies, allowing treatment of virtually every multiple, unwanted area of the body within an hour.

Neither treatment is intended for the seriously overweight. Dr. Mulholland advises that the ideal candidates are people who are already reasonably fit and who exercise regularly, eat sensibly and just want to target those pesky problem areas.

“If you are trying to lose a considerable amount of weight, these treatments are not for you,” says Dr. Mulholland. “These are effective solutions to help improve those stubborn pockets of fat.”

CHRISTOPHER TURNER acted as guest editor for this issue of IN magazine. He is a Toronto-based writer, editor and lifelong fashionisto with a passion for pop culture and sneakers. Follow him on social media at @Turnstylin.

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Biphobia In Our Own Backyard People who identify as bisexual face a lot of stereotyping and discrimination

september / october 2018

By Colin Druhan

“I don’t pull out the ‘bisexual’ word because nobody likes the bisexuals.

Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals” was the way Cynthia Nixon plainly put it to the Daily Beast in 2012, well before launching her current US gubernatorial campaign. “We get no respect,” she added, indicating her personal experiences with biphobia (the hatred or fear of people who are attracted to more than one gender) and with monosexism (the belief that being exclusively homosexual or heterosexual is superior or somehow more legitimate than other sexual orientations).

The unfortunate truth is that people who identify as bi+ (bisexual, pansexual or fluid) face discrimination from people who identify as gay and lesbian as well as from those outside LGBTQ communities.

Tara Schorr is a member of the planning group with the Toronto Bisexual Network, an organization that offers peer support, community and a social network for bi+ people as well as information and resources about non-monosexual people. She says the lack of inclusion on multiple fronts can lead to a feeling among some bisexual people of outright erasure. As Schorr puts it, “They have no voice. They have no space. They don’t exist.”

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Lesley Tarasoff is a member of the Re:searching for LGBTQ Health team (based at the University of Toronto’s Dalla Lana School of Public Health), and is a post-doctoral research fellow at the University of Toronto Scarborough and the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. She has found that experiences of isolation have very real consequences for people who identify as bi+, such as worse mental health than in people who identify as gay, lesbian or straight. “There are some distinct outcomes based on where you are in the alphabet,” she explains, pointing out that bi+ people may be hesitant to disclose their orientation because of biphobia and general stigma from monosexual people, issues that are far more insidious than many people realize.

Negative and hurtful stereotypes about bi+ people range from the assumption that people who are attracted to more than one gender are “greedy,” to the idea that bisexuality is a “phase” of one’s sexual development rather than an orientation. Tarasoff and other researchers have found that bi+ women in particular are often mischaracterized as “willing to do anything” due in part to their oversexualization in media; as a result, they risk increased incidents of sexual violence.

or uncomfortable to do so. “If you’re someone who holds privilege within the community, and you see biphobia is a thing, I think it’s your responsibility to hold some of that tension so the emotional burden doesn’t always fall on us.”

We often think about allies as individuals outside of LGBTQ communties, but everyone has a part to play.

And that emotional burden is heavy. In one study, Tarasoff and other researchers found that some bi+ participants said the negative experiences they face are so prevalent that they felt an absence of those experiences was a positive thing. But the simple absence of negativity does not create a feeling of inclusion. Removing that “no bisexuals” note on your dating profile does not win you an award for allyship.

Iradele Plante, community engagement lead with Venture Out, says “bisexual allyship shows up when you call out assumptions in your own community.” She explains that it’s important for people who identify as gay and lesbian to challenge others who are knocking members of their own community, even though it might be difficult

Letting go of hurtful stereotypes in exchange for more meaningful connection with bi+ people as individuals is a better way forward.

For example: don’t think you know someone’s orientation just because of who they are currently partnered with. As Plante says: “You just don’t know, so why assume?”

pride at work

Despite these significant challenges, Schorr says there’s reason to be hopeful, pointing to positive steps some LGBTQ organizations are taking to expressly include bi+ people. Programs such as Pride Toronto’s Bi+ Pride initiative – the first of its kind in North America – aim to create space for bi+ people within the broader celebration of Pride. Schorr says this added visibility can help break down feelings of isolation within the community and encourage monosexual people to “be mindful about some of the assumptions they are making about other people.”

COLIN DRUHAN is the executive director of Pride at Work Canada, a not-for-profit organization that empowers employees to foster workplace cultures that recognize LGBT employees. For more information, visit prideatwork.ca.

When a past relationship is holding you back

By Adam Segal

Dear Adam, Two years ago, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. We have had very little contact since then, and when we occasionally bump into each other, I get all awkward and chatty while he keeps things super brief and moves on. I have never totally understood why he ended things – I thought we had something great, and all he said was that he did not feel strongly enough to keep investing in “us.” I tried to get him to share what it was about me that wasn’t working for him, but he just said the connection wasn’t deep enough.

I have tried dating a little since then with no luck – and mostly I still think of him. I check him out on social media daily and fantasize about us getting back together and convincing him that I could be Mr. Right again. If there’s even a chance of our getting back together, isn’t it worth my trying to get his attention? I don’t want to miss a potential reopening door, but I also feel pretty stuck. Help! – Mitchell Dear Mitchell, One of the hardest challenges with any breakup is when things end in a fairly vague and anticlimactic way. The fact that he didn’t provide you with a laundry list of problems is understandably leaving you guessing. You want to fill in the blanks and come up with all the reasons why you didn’t make the grade – that way, you can feel some control and try to shape-shift into what he really wanted.

What would be less crazy making is this: consider that he is actually telling you the truth and that the relationship simply didn’t feel quite right for him, not because you have some huge deficiencies.

In all the songs and movies, breakups are broken down into a good guy/bad guy scenario, which doesn’t serve any of us. Often a relationship ends not because someone did something egregiously wrong or because of constant spats, but because one or both people just don’t feel satisfied enough. It is so painful to accept when this happens, and it’s tempting to scramble and try to recover what was lost.

When we get really hung up on someone – which you certainly are – it’s often because we’ve put that person on a pedestal and assume that their approval would confirm that we are ‘good enough.’ So long as you keep pining for his validation, you will feel very small, which will only strengthen your need to get his attention. As you already know, this cycle is exhausting and pretty heartbreaking. From what you have shared, there is no evidence that he is questioning his decision, and your hopeful perusing of his Instagram account is just rubbing salt in your breakup wounds. A way forward is allowing yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship while resisting any idea that this breakup is some huge statement about you or your entire relationship future. If you keep feeding your fantasy that ‘getting him back’ would guarantee lifelong happiness and bliss, you’re destined to put your life on hold – and that will limit all the new adventures that you could be savouring.

ADAM SEGAL, writer and therapist, works in private practice in downtown Toronto. Ask him your relationship or mental-health questions at @relationship@inmagazine.ca.

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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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Call It A Comeback Five tips on getting back in the game after a sports injury

By Karen Kwan

When you’re an athlete, your focus on gains and your competitive streak are such a part of your identity that coming back after a sports injury can be tough. The injury itself and the recovery period can be painful both physically and mentally. Being injury-free and finally being able to return to your sport would seem like a time to rejoice, but it can also be demoralizing when you come to realize how much of a setback your fitness level has taken. Being strategic and positive at this critical time will help you get back to (and eventually surpass) where you used to be.

september / october 2018

Be patient and take your time “Doing too much too soon is a common problem when returning from injury,” says Hubert Leung, a registered physiotherapist. Don’t push through pain (in fact, he says, you should be experiencing zero pain when doing exercises at this point of your recovery program). “Increase your workload gradually and follow the exercises as directed by your physiotherapist,” he says.

also suggests adding a natural pain relief supplement to your routine if you are suffering from any minor pain or inflammation (his personal favourite is Genuine Health Fast Joint Care+ with fermented turmeric).

Rebuild your foundation “I would look to taper everything back; however, we are meant to move, regardless of our capabilities or limitations,” recommends Ryan Caico, founder of Toronto fitness studio Strive Life Athletics.

“Direct your focus on mobility, flexibility and stability to create a solid baseline and foundation. When you come back from injury with a stronger foundation, the risk of reinjury is much less.”

Continue with your rehab exercises Depending on your sport or activity, you may want to work on sport-specific rehab exercises since different sports involve different forces and movements of different joints, says Leung, who practises at Good Physiotherapy in Toronto. And don’t ditch those rehab exercises the moment you’re given the “all clear.”

Leung says it’s generally good to continue rehab exercises for a few weeks after you’ve fully recovered. “Often, some exercises are to treat underlying causes that may still need attention to prevent the injury from reoccurring.”

Fuel your body for making a comeback Jackson Johnson, a fitness trainer from Australia, recommends looking to your food sources first to get more healthy fats and proteins in your diet. “Carnitine from healthy grass-fed red meat is crucial for ligament and bone strength. And if you’re not able to refuel right after your workout with food, then a protein shake or bar will help,” he says. Johnson, who will be the lead trainer this November at the Active Escapes Barbados fitness retreat,

Focus on preventing future injuries Once you’ve been able to get back into the shape you once were, this is no time to return to your previous habits and regimen (you did get injured, after all). Consider prevention now. “I would recommend slowly but surely nudging the body along but always coming back to mind and body to see how you are feeling,” says Caico. He says that no matter what your chosen workout is, try not to go too hard and focus on staying ahead of any future breakdown.

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KAREN KWAN is a freelance health, travel and lifestyle writer based in Toronto. Follow her on Twitter at @healthswellness and on Instagram at @healthandswellness.

IN MAGAZINE

sex

Sharing Is Caring But…here’s what you really need to know

By Ashley L. Williams

Whether you’re into monogamous partner play, multiple partner play or group sex, or this is your profession, sharing happens. I mean, why not enrich someone else’s sexual experience with a toy or two if you have them readily available? There are some important things to consider if you’re going to be sharing your toys with other partners, though.

Consider the material of the toys that you are using Porous materials include (but are not limited to) things like jelly, rubber and UR3. Oftentimes, these materials are softer and more flexible, but carry a smell that never really washes out.They require more care for washing. I like to think of these materials as “surface clean” because bacteria seeps into the material, making the toys pretty hard to clean thoroughly. If you have anything in your toy collection that is made with these materials, we recommend refreshing them every six months to a year, depending on how often you use the toys, to avoid the risk of infections or irritations.

Non-porous materials include glass, metal and silicone materials. These materials are typically not very realistic looking, but they are the easiest to clean and maintain, and have no scent. Usually, these are dishwasher safe or (depending on the material) can also be boiled. Because these materials are so easy to clean and maintain, you can essentially keep them

forever as long as you care for them properly. These materials can be somewhat more expensive than porous materials, but we like to think of it as a well-loved investment.

Proper cleaning methods Most adult stores will recommend that you use a “toy cleaner” because these are specifically designed to keep the toy clean and are not drying. This is not just a sales tactic! Just as with your hands, using certain soaps can dry out materials over time. Once that happens, the toy slowly starts to break apart and wouldn’t be safe to use if you have any sensitivities. Toys made with non-porous materials are a little easier to clean and maintain due to their material and so toy cleaners are not always necessary, but they are still the safest option. And I always recommend a toy cleaner for porous toys. Toy cleaners are antibacterial and will help ensure the toy is safe to use after it has been shared with another person.

Of course, there’s always the option of purchasing condoms to use over shared toys, but that can get expensive over time. So, depending on your budget (because toys can definitely add up over time), I try recommending a better material that will allow you the best experiences for the longest time.

Consider your options, consider your budget, consider your partners, and play safe. Live your best life!

ASHLEY L. WILLIAMS is an essential part of the team at Seduction Love Boutique, being one of two main contributors to the Toronto stores’ marketing department as well as a dedicated sales manager. Seduction has proudly served the community since 1998; follow it on Instagram: @SeductionTO.

Check out our work on Instagram @inkandwatertattoo

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䐀䤀匀䌀伀嘀䔀刀 吀刀唀䔀 䰀伀嘀䔀 䔀堀䔀䌀唀吀䤀嘀䔀 䜀䄀夀 䴀䄀吀䌀䠀䴀䄀䬀䤀一䜀 䘀䤀刀䴀

september / october 2018

䈀攀猀瀀漀欀攀 䴀愀琀挀栀洀愀欀椀渀最 眀漀爀欀猀 眀椀琀栀 瀀爀漀昀攀猀猀椀漀渀愀氀 最愀礀 洀攀渀 愀渀搀 氀攀猀戀椀愀渀猀 眀栀漀 愀爀攀 猀攀爀椀漀甀猀 愀戀漀甀琀 洀攀攀琀椀渀最 琀栀攀 爀椀最栀琀 瀀攀爀猀漀渀 愀渀搀 眀栀漀 愀爀攀 爀攀愀搀礀 琀漀 戀攀最椀渀 愀 氀漀瘀椀渀最 爀攀氀愀琀椀漀渀猀栀椀瀀⸀ 伀甀爀 昀椀爀洀 瀀爀漀瘀椀搀攀猀 愀 栀椀最栀氀礀 爀攀最愀爀搀攀搀 愀氀琀攀爀渀愀琀椀瘀攀 琀漀 琀栀攀 琀礀瀀椀挀愀氀 昀漀爀洀猀 漀昀 搀愀琀椀渀最⸀ 䌀漀渀琀愀挀琀 甀猀 琀漀 猀挀栀攀搀甀氀攀 愀 挀漀洀瀀氀椀洀攀渀琀愀爀礀 挀漀渀猀甀氀琀愀琀椀漀渀

㄀ⴀ㠀㠀㠀ⴀ㐀㈀㈀ⴀ㘀㐀㘀㐀

䈀䔀匀倀伀䬀䔀䴀䄀吀䌀䠀䴀䄀䬀䤀一䜀⸀䌀伀䴀 14

IN MAGAZINE

hea l t h & w e l l ne s s

spilling the tea on guys who party and play New initiative to provide safer partying education and awareness for guys who are into guys

By Jumol Royes

Let’s be real: sex and drugs often go hand in hand. Chemsex or party and play are just one of the ways in which guys who are interested in guys connect and facilitate sexual encounters with other men. Swipe through profiles on any gay hookup or dating app and you’ll come across party and play (PnP) in bios or listed as an interest.

A 2017 Squirt.org survey of over 20,000 men who have sex with men (MSM) found that 30 per cent of respondents had used drugs before or during sex.

A recent survey completed by members of MAX’s Safer Partying Advisory Committee found that “traditional support systems aren’t there to help people who use recreational drugs for sex. Many in the gay community will shun drugs in public despite their widespread use behind closed doors. This is a new form of closet that people are in and those in that closet aren’t getting the information they need to help them stay safe and make good decisions.”

MAX, the first stand-alone GBT2Q men’s health organization in Ontario, launched the Spill the Tea campaign by packing over 1,000 condom kits during an event with local VIPs, Capital Pride In an effort to provide safer partying education and awareness, representatives, ViiV staff and volunteers. The initiative is supported MAX Ottawa and ViiV Healthcare Canada have joined forces to through ViiV Healthcare’s Positive Partnership grant program, launch Spill the Tea, a new health and wellness initiative for gay, and will feature four events throughout the year with Ottawa-based bisexual, two-spirit, queer and other guys who are into guys, both and international drag queens providing an entertaining backdrop cis and trans (GBT2Q), in the Ottawa region. for effective outreach. The first Spill the Tea event will be hosted

by Shea Coulee, a top four contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race on “The goal of Spill the Tea is to open conversations and decrease August 23 at The 27 Club, Ottawa. Tickets for the kickoff event stigma around the use of drugs while partying and highlight the importance can be purchased at maxottawa.ca/PRIDE. of STI [sexually transmitted infection] testing and peer support for guys who are into guys,” says Roberto Ortiz, executive director of MAX The message is being sent loud and clear: accessing resources Ottawa, a community-based organization that focuses on maximizing around safer partying can be both functional and fun. the health and wellness of GBT2Q men by educating, addressing disparities in health outcomes, and delivering activities to support Working with MAX Ottawa to Spill the Tea will mean accessible overall health and well-being. and accurate information is available for guys into guys in the Ottawa area, whether they are living with HIV or not. “This Partying and playing is not a new phenomenon, but it’s something initiative will create stigma-free spaces where conversations about very few people in the GBT2Q communities are willing to speak safer partying can take place,” says Sara Leclerc, general manager openly about. As a result, those searching for information about how of ViiV Healthcare Canada. to stay safe and practise harm reduction frequently find themselves feeling isolated, stigmatized and dismayed by the lack of available It’s time to take shame out of the equation when it comes to party resources and support. and play, and to shift the focus to providing support and staying safe.

And that’s tea worth serving.

JUMOL ROYES is a Toronto-based writer/PR & communications strategist with a keen interest in personal development and transformation. Follow him on Twitter @Jumol.

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Ready with advice to help your small business.

The Official Partner of Big Dreams.

Every small business owner deals with challenges.

You don’t have to do it alone. Our TD Small Business Account Managers have solutions that can help you run your business with confidence.

“How do I plan for the next thing?

And the next thing after that?”

september / october 2018

Graziella Nogueira, Co-Owner COBRAFER CONSTRUCTION, VANCOUVER

Learn more at td.com/smallbusiness The Toronto-Dominion Bank and its affiliates are not liable or responsible for the products, goods or services offered by Cobrafer Construction. All trade-marks are the property of their respective owners. ® The TD logo and other trademarks are the property of The Toronto-Dominion Bank.

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IN MAGAZINE

By Al Ramsay

October is Small Business Month in Canada! But we should really be celebrating the occasion year-round, 365 days a year.

Why? Consider these two key stats, from a June 2016 report by Innovation, Science and Economic Development Canada–Small Business Branch, that show the vital importance of small business to the Canadian economy: (1) There were 1.17 million employer businesses in Canada at the end of 2015; (2) Of these, 1.14 million – or 97.9 per cent – were small businesses, which employed more than 8.2 million individuals in Canada, which represents 70.5 per cent of the total private labour force!

T:10.875”

S:10”

B:11.125”

This is the reason why it’s so important for everyone to continue to encourage, promote and invest in entrepreneurs. And this month we will put the spotlight on small business.

Over the past few years, Money$tyle has provided tips on starting a small business, highlighting TD’s LGBTQ2+ small business owners in our Official Partner of Big Dreams campaign (where they become an integral part of our marketing initiatives) and last year spotlighting the Canadian Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce’s Young Entrepreneurship program in collaboration with several founding partners, including TD and the Province of Ontario. (As a board member, I’m pleased to report that this program has been successful to date.)

This year, I would like to provide a few tips for those who are thinking about starting a small business or want to grow their current business. There are lots of tools and resources available to you on numerous websites. However, here are some tips from TD’s team of expert small business advisors to consider: Starting up Working for yourself can bring many rewards, such as freedom, flexibility and the chance to follow your dreams. But it can also bring new challenges. However, with some smart business planning, you can put the odds of success in your favour. Consider: do you want to start from the ground up? Purchase an existing business?

Purchase a franchise? There are pros and cons to each!

Cash flow, finances and investments The right cash flow strategies can go a long way to helping your business succeed. For example, invoice immediately after you deliver goods or services, use your business credit card to pay suppliers and earn rewards while taking advantage of the

payment grace period, and put your excess cash to use and invest it for your business.

Growing your business Speaking of investing in your business: put a plan in place to anticipate growth to minimize risks and surprises. Put your profits to work!

Borrowing solutions Having access to sufficient capital and credit is key to small business success, whether you want to manage your cash flow, purchase new equipment or acquire new premises.

Succession planning and retirement As a business owner, you’ve worked hard to build your business and may now be looking forward to the day when you can step away and enjoy your retirement. Whatever you decide to do with your business – sell it, or pass it on to someone else – in order to maximize its value and ensure a smooth transition, you’ll need to develop a business succession plan. The sooner you can start the process, the better position you’ll be in when it’s time to step away or retire.

Everyone’s needs are different, so speak to a Small Business Advisor.

Finally, building on the success of “2 Guys With Knives” (who we profiled in our November/December 2016 issue and are included in this year’s TD’s Official Partner of Big Dreams campaign), we will highlight more LGBTQ2+ small business customers, including Graziella Nogueira, who owns Cobrafer Construction Ltd. in Vancouver, BC, because we believe our community represents an integral part of TD’s customer base. “I want my banker to be my partner; someone I can trust to provide the right advice and resources I need to help grow my business,” Graziella says.

We want to be your partner in your journey to make your dreams a reality!

To get help on starting your own business, or to get your business ready for the next level, visit www.tdcanadatrust.com/ products-services/small-business/smallbusiness-index.jsp.

AL RAMSAY is TD Bank Group’s regional manager, LGBTQ2+ Business Development, and leads a team of expert advisors dedicated to serving the LGBTQ2+ community. For more information or to book a meeting, he can be reached at al.ramsay@td.com, or follow him on Twitter at @AlRamsay_TD.

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m o ney $ t y l e

Honouring Canadian Entrepreneurs, And Celebrating Small Businesses Canada’s small businesses are making an outstanding contribution

W H E E LS

Get Sporty With These Athletic Rides Roll into fall with four very different vehicles that can handle all of your equipment

By Casey Williams

Some cars are made for luxury and others for labour, but the ones that are most fun are created for love – or, at least, love of sports. As summer becomes autumn, we look at four sporty vehicles that are a mix of toys and toys with which to haul those toys. All four are icons and daily-drivable, but will look as good at the lake as they do at the football field. Have at your favorite endeavour, and enjoy.

VW Golf GTI Boxy is beautiful when it’s bred for going fast and hauling your sports gear for years of fun.

Flip open the hatch, throw down the seats and load all of your gear. Slide in to enjoy 400 watts of Fender audio, Apple CarPlay, Android Auto, and navigation. Choose the tartan cloth seats for a nod to tradition. A 220-horsepower 2.0-litre turbocharged four-cylinder engine twirls underfoot. It’s only front-drive, but that enhances fuel economy – whether shifting power through a six-speed manual or Tiptronic automatic transmission. Lane keep assist, adaptive cruise, autonomous front braking and automatic parallel parking add safety and convenience.

Base price: $30,595 Ford Shelby GT350 The snake in the grille and Shelby in the name means this is the ultimate track-ready Mustang. With sexy curves and bulging fenders, it cuts quite a swath with 19-inch wheels and a jumbo rear spoiler. Grippy Recaro seats, soft suede accents and a thumping 12-speaker B&O audio system encourage long aggressive driving. The real snakes in the grass are a 526-horsepower 5.2-litre V8 engine, Brembo brakes and performance tires to kick this rocket down the road…or track. Fuel economy is rated 17.2/11.3 L/100 km city/highway with the six-speed manual transmission, but you’ll never see that while hammering the throttle.

Base price: $74,388

september / october 2018

Subaru WRX A sexy little two-seat sports car is perfect for California, but not so great during Canadian winters and over broken pavement. That’s where the WRX comes in. Torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive handles snow as well as it attacks twisty back roads. Acceleration is delivered by the 268-horsepower 2.0-litre turbocharged flat-four engine connected to a continuously variable or six-speed manual transmission. Fuel economy is rated 11.3/8.5 L/100 km. A compliant suspension absorbs the rough stuff. Check options for Recaro seats, moonroof, suede steering wheel and EyeSight crash avoidance system. Get the rear wing too. All that, and the practicality of any other compact.

Base price: $29,995 Toyota Tacoma When you need something to haul and pull all of your sporty toys, this is your truck.

It’s been cool since Marty McFly drove one in Back to the Future, but now it’s about as high-tech as the time-travelling DeLorean. Choose four-door Doublecab if you plan to take friends on your adventures, and load up with heated leather seats, navigation, JBL audio and wireless phone charging. Safety is enhanced by available blind spot and rear cross path detection. Choose a 159-horsepower four-cylinder or 278-horsepower V6 engine. Definitely choose 4x4 to get away from civilization and enjoy autumn.

Base price: $31,090

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CASEY WILLIAMS is a contributing writer for Gaywheels.com. He contributes to the New York-based LGBT magazine Metrosource and the

IN MAGAZINE Chicago Tribune. He and his husband live in Indianapolis, where Williams contributes videos and reviews to wfyi.org, the area’s PBS/NPR station.

O N t he t o w n

Scenes From The Party Circuit

By Michael Pihach

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Mad Hot Ballet DISCO at the Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts (photos by George Pimentel Photography) 1: Karen Kain, 2: Evan McKie, 3: Rex Harrington, 4: Nicholas Mellamphy, Jen Lee Koss, Jay Smith.

Rainbow Railroad Freedom Party at the Thompson Hotel Rooftop 5: Pip and Alex Josselyn-Hamilton, 6: Winnie Luk, 7: Kimahli Powell, 8: Oscar Moreno, Kyle Miller, Eric Timm.

Starry Night at The 519 (photos by Aydin Matlabi for The 519) 9: Justin Khan, 10: MonĂŠt X Change, 11: Miz Cracker.

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c o ming o u t

5 Out Athletes Who Have Made Headlines In 2018 Sports may be the final frontier for LGBT representation, but that’s changing one athlete at a time

By Courtney Hardwick

The 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang made headlines earlier this year for including a record number of 15 openly LGBT athletes.

Considering that the total number of athletes who competed in the Olympics this year was just under 3,000, 15 (less than one per cent) out athletes is an incredibly small number. Chances are, there were more LGBT athletes competing, but they weren’t out at the time.

Some might not have wanted their sexuality to overshadow their performance at the Games, which is understandable, but others might be in the closet because of the stigma that still hangs over athletes who identify as part of the LGBT community.

but he only played in the preseason, and a handful of other players came out after retirement. (The hockey world is no better: see our cover story on Brock McGillis.) There’s also a huge disparity between the number of out gay male athletes and out gay female athletes. The WNBA has had more current and former players come out publicly than all of the Big Five men’s leagues in North America combined. (The Big Five leagues are comprised of the NHL, NBA, NFL, MLB and MLS, and although there have been plenty of gay players, the vast majority of them came out publicly only after their career was over.)

Sports is considered by many to be the final frontier when it comes to LGBT representation and acceptance. For example, we have yet to see an openly gay athlete play in a regular season NFL game.

Michael Sam was the first openly gay player to be drafted (in 2014),

The culture of heteronormativity in sports is still very prevalent but, luckily, more and more prominent LGBT athletes are choosing to step out of the shadows. Here are a few LGBT athletes who are out, proud, and paving the way for progress in 2018.

september / october 2018

Eric Radford Canadian figure skater Eric Radford made history at the PyeongChang Olympics by becoming the first out gay male athlete to ever win a gold medal at the Winter Games. He and his skating partner, Meagan Duhamel, won gold in the team figure skating event. Radford and Duhamel also won the bronze medal in the pairs free skating event, making Radford the first gay male athlete to win multiple medals in a single Games.

“I have had some really touching messages from people who are still in the closet, and they said that I’ve really inspired them, and helped them to try to accept themselves more.… That’s incredible,” Radford told The Globe and Mail after his gold medal win. On coming out in 2014, Radford told Sportsnet, “I realized that by speaking out, I could make a difference. No other gay figure skater had come out at the height of his career. I realized that the only way to normalize it was to speak out.”

Radford is now retired from professional figure skating, but he made sure he went out on the highest note possible – by inspiring the next generation of athletes to be proud of who they are.

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IN MAGAZINE

Gus Kenworthy US skier Gus Kenworthy won the silver medal in men’s slopestyle at the Sochi Winter Olympics in 2014, and also made headlines for bringing attention to the stray dog problem there. He came out as gay in 2015, and this past Olympics in PyeongChang he made even bigger headlines. Before his qualifying run in men’s slopestyle, Kenworthy’s boyfriend, actor Matthew Wilkas, kissed him and it was broadcast on live TV. The kiss was praised as being a huge moment for the visibility of LGBT athletes, and Kenworthy couldn’t agree more. “This was actually the Olympic experience I was hoping for,” he told CNN. “I’m leaving here more fulfilled without a medal than I did at the last Games with one.”

Since the Olympics, Kenworthy has been on a number of magazine covers, including Gay Times and Attitude, not to mention his bromance-inspired Out cover with Adam Rippon. Moving forward, Kenworthy promises to continue to be an outspoken advocate of LGBT rights and a much-needed role model for young, gay athletes.

Adam Rippon US figure skater Adam Rippon is arguably one of the biggest breakout stars of the PyeongChang Olympics.

With his bronze medal win in the team figure skating event (the same event where Eric Radford won gold), Rippon became the first-ever gay US male athlete to win a medal at the Winter Games. After the Olympics, Rippon competed on – and won – the 26th season of Dancing with the Stars. He also made headlines for his red carpet appearance at the 90th Academy Awards, thanks to his outfit of choice – a Moschino-designed harness. To top it all off, Time named him one of their 100 Most Influential People of 2018 – and his blurb was written by Cher. Perhaps one of his most outspoken moments came just before the Olympics in an interview with GQ. Rippon expressed his disappointment that US Vice President Mike Pence would be leading the US delegation for the opening ceremony in PyeongChang.

He even turned down a chance to meet Pence, saying, “Here’s the thing: I have nothing to say to him.

I’m very lucky that Mike Pence has had little to no effect on my life. If we were to meet, I would want to bring people whose lives have been changed by legislation he has pushed. As a member of the LGBT community, I want to speak out, because he’s spoken about people like me.”

Sue Bird Israeli-American pro basketball player Sue Bird (pictured left) was a first overall pick in the 2002 WNBA draft. She has won two WNBA championships and four Olympic gold medals, and has been on nine WNBA All-Star teams. She currently plays point guard for the Seattle Storm, where she has been for her entire career with the WNBA. Although she has been one of the league’s most successful players to date, she didn’t come out publicly as a lesbian until 2017.

In an interview with ESPNW, Bird said, “I’m gay. Megan’s my girlfriend.… These aren’t secrets to people who know me. I think people have this assumption that if you’re not talking about it, you must be hiding it, like it’s this secret. That was never the case for me.” The Megan she refers to is Megan Rapinoe, a midfielder for Seattle Reign FC. Together, Bird and Rapinoe were the first samesex couple to appear on the cover of ESPN The Magazine’s Body Issue published earlier this year.

Collin Martin Minnesota United midfielder Collin Martin is currently the only active gay male athlete in any of the Big Five leagues. In July, he became the third publicly gay man to play during the regular season in one of the men’s Big Five leagues, in a game against Toronto FC. (Before him were the NBA’s Jason Collins and the MLS’s Robbie Rogers.)

Martin came out on Twitter on June 29, 2018, hours before his club hosted its “Pride Match” in support of the LGBTQ+ community. “Today, I’m proud that my entire team and the management of Minnesota United know that I am gay,” Martin wrote. “I have received only kindness and acceptance from everyone in Major League Soccer and that has made the decision to come out publicly that much easier.”

COURTNEY HARDWICK is a Toronto-based freelance writer. Her work has appeared online at AmongMen, Complex Canada, Elle Canada and TheBolde.

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d r ag k ing s

Has The ‘Golden Age Of Drag’ Forgotten About The Kings?

“We’ve got a lot more in common with queens than things that set us apart”

By Bobby Box

Internationally, we’re experiencing “the golden age of drag.” At least that’s what the New York Times says, which means it must be true. (Right?) “I live in constant fear that the Drag Race thing will end,” Eureka O’Hara, a queen from RuPaul’s Drag Race, told the paper. “I don’t want to go back to driving everywhere and working for no money, when you put so much love and money and time into this craft. I know what it feels like to struggle every single day to do this.”

Yet, that is the reality for drag kings: the women (be they trans, non-binary, biological, etc.) who dress and perform in masculine drag on stage, personifying male stereotypes. Even cisgender men perform as drag kings, just as cisgender women perform as queens. Like their royal counterparts, drag kings often incorporate an eclectic mix of dancing, acting, comedy and singing (either live or lip sync) in their routines.

“We’ve got a lot more in common with queens than things that set us apart,” Cyril Cinder, a 26-year-old drag king based in Ottawa, tells IN. “I think there’s a wider of spectrum between drag kings themselves than there are between kings and queens. Some kings are dapper crooners; others would fit right into the lineup of a boy band. Some are creatures from an alternate dimension that you’ve never seen before. You find the same diversity within queens as well.”

september / october 2018

Despite these similarities, kings don’t get booked like queens do.

“I lived in Toronto, a city with one of the world’s most vibrant gay villages, for two years and was only welcome to two venues as a performer,” Cinder says. “There are countless bars with drag shows on every weekend that pack their rosters with queens and you won’t see a king among them. I’ve also had more than one house queen (a queen responsible for hosting and booking shows at a venue) flat-out tell me, ‘I don’t book drag kings.’”

RuPaul’s Drag Race, the program primarily responsible for the golden era of gender bending (especially since the series moved from Logo to VH1), possesses a similar, daft attitude towards kings. While the show has undoubtedly increased the visibility of drag in the zeitgeist and has allowed many queens to earn a lofty, full-time living (few kings pull in the $5,000-$15,000 booking fees that Drag Race alum get), the show has never once acknowledged the existence of drag kings, with the exception of Pandora Boxx making a quick joke way back in Season 2. So while more people are definitely discovering drag kings, that happens only if people dig into what exists off of RuPaul’s stage – and most people don’t investigate to that level.

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IN MAGAZINE

The unfortunate reality for kings is that their stunted popularity has little to do with their talent. “When queens perform femininity, they are seen as expressing a gender that is inherently more performative in nature,” Cinder says. “We have this idea in society that women are putting on a show to be women, with their hair and makeup and shoes and jewellery, but real men just...are. It’s not accurate – look at the meticulousness in your local barbershop!

As a culture we don’t acknowledge how much of a performance masculinity is, and that’s a bit of a barrier for kings, who are often openly challenging that by performing masculine gender.”

Considering this, the process of visually transforming into a king may logically sound like a less daunting task, but the reality proves otherwise. “While I can do my makeup in 20 minutes, I prefer to take 2½ hours, or more, to get into optimal drag,” says Goldie Peacock, a 32-year-old drag king from Brooklyn.

To complete his transformation, Peacock slathers “a whole lot” of foundation on his face; contours his eyes, cheekbones and jawline with powder eyeshadow; applies liner and mascara; and draws on a deliberately fake moustache, eyebrows and sideburns. Occasionally, he chooses to wear lipstick and a lot of feathered, sparkly clothes to confuse his audience. “I’m a glamdrogynous king, unbothered by adhering to the stereotypical trappings of the gender binary,” he says. Peacock then uses a binder to flatten his chest and seals his look with powder and setting spray so he doesn’t sweat off all of his hard work.

With such mainstream exposure, many drag queens have noticed heterosexual individuals in their audiences. At a drag king show, however, audiences are almost exclusively queer, skewing towards queer women, AFAB (assigned female at birth) genderqueer individuals and transmasculine people. Regarding performances, Peacock says anything by “the Justins” (Timberlake and Bieber) are popular among kings, as is Ginuwine’s “Pony.” In Cinder’s experience, she finds kings are inspired by boy bands and artists that have challenged gender roles themselves, such as David Bowie, Freddie Mercury and Adam Lambert.

Both Cinder and Peacock agree kings aren’t getting the same respect as queens (not yet, anyway), but they acknowledge drag kings are experiencing a renaissance on a smaller scale. While a great number of venues and spaces for kings have been lost over the years, a growing number of media outlets – including Vogue, the BBC, Buzzfeed (and now, us!) – have featured drag kings on their platforms, furthering international exposure.

Goldie Peacock (Photo by Ames Bex)

“The age of the internet means that isolated people who might have never otherwise seen a drag or gender performer in their lives can now learn about this world and explore what it might mean for them,” Cinder says. “There are tons of kings demanding that the so-called ‘golden age of drag’ not be without us, saying we more than deserve our seat at the table. I hope more people are starting to see that.”

More from GOLDIE PEACOCK...

What got you into drag?

Since I was a kid, playing dress-up has always been one of my favourite activities, and when my university had a drag competition with a cash prize I knew I wanted to compete and win!

I was interested in the challenge and loved the powerful feeling it gave me.

How did you come up with your drag name?

I always loved peacocks and how they embodied flamboyant maleness, and Golda was my Hebrew name. I was doing an internship at the National Yiddish Book Center and reading about the folkloric figure of “di goldene pave” (the golden peacock) and musing about what a great basis for a stage name it would be to this linguist who came up with Goldie Peacock. Et voilà!

Cyril Cinder (Photo by Viktor Device)

More from CYRIL CINDER...

What got you into drag?

I came to drag through cosplay. I started cosplaying when I was about 13 years old, but I never wanted to dress up as the female characters – just the men! So I was learning all these tricks to make myself look like more of a boy. I had also always loved drama and acting, and went to an arts high school for theatre. So when I discovered what drag kings were through a friend, my immediate reaction was, ‘Well, this is something I absolutely need to do.’ It was an opportunity to play dress-up and perform, and I live for that stuff.

But it really started with a simple Facebook post. I went to a drag show for the very first time in 2014, and went home and made a post about how if I were a man I would definitely be a drag queen.

My wonderful friends then educated me about the world of hyper queens and drag kings, and let me know that I could absolutely also do drag, and offered to make some introductions. The rest is history.

How did you come up with your drag name?

Cyril Cinder came to me in pieces. I know I wanted a name that sounded like a rock star, or a supervillain’s alter ego. A lot of kings like their names to be puns or plays on words, but I wanted a name that I was certain nobody else would have. I started with Cinder, since it reminded me of fire and I was starting with my bright red faux-hawk, and the rest rolled off the tongue. I still love my name – I’m the one and only Cyril Cinder!

BOBBY BOX is a prolific freelance journalist in Hamilton, Ont. He currently works as contributing editor at Playboy.com and has had the privilege to speak with the world’s most recognized drag queens including, most recently, Trixie Mattel and Alaska Thunderfuck. While proud of his work, Bobby is not above begging. He asks that you follow him on Twitter @bobbyboxington.

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in t e r v ie w

Boy Is The New Girl Is The New Boy… 21-year-old jUDE Karda recently came out as transgender non-binary, and is taking social media by storm

By Brian Phillips

For decades, the music industry has led the charge in challenging sexual stereotypes. Artists like Little Richard, David Bowie, Boy George and Grace Jones are a few of the majors who launched their careers by combining mammoth talent and blurring the lines between boy and girl. In the fashion world, gender fluidity has come late to the party, but in the past 10 years, it has been thrilling to watch the mash-up that has been led by incredible beauties such as Andreja Pejic, Erika Linder, Darell Ferhostan, Ari Fitz and Rain Dove.

I met jUDE Karda in May 2017 at worldSALON in Toronto.

Peggi Lepage Model Management had just signed this stunning creature and they were excited to get me involved in the imaging.

I was told that jUDE did not identify as a male or female but as non-binary, and preferred to be referred to as “they,” which was definitely a first for me.

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My research included checking out their Instagram – a whopping 370,000-plus followers – and their YouTube channel, which was rife with very personal, funny vlogs ranging from femme days when they went by “Sarah” to more recent material including jUDE’s account of taking testosterone and the trials and tribulations of relationship upheavals.

Congratulations on modelling in New York and Paris last summer! How were your trips there?

It was very busy. It was show season, so I ran, ran, ran, worked, worked and then ran some more.

What is the best place you have modelled?

I’d have to say Tokyo, and I’m actually there now with Wizards.

It’s busy but it’s great. The culture is amazing and models are really pampered there. I am being massaged constantly and offered wonderful, delicious teas on shoots. And in October I’m going to Guangzhou with Active models.

Did you notice much of a difference in terms of being a gender-fluid model in the three different countries you worked in the last while?

So, of the three markets, I would say I felt New York was more aware. I met a few people who asked what pronouns I preferred, which was really nice. But overall I felt like I was put back into the box of being a woman with all the heels and extra shaving haha!

Still a little way to go, but I hope there’ll be more awareness and opportunities for people like us.

How do you see gender fluidity impacting the fashion industry in the future?

I feel it might help expand the creativity in the industry and bring more open-mindedness to the table.

jUDE is an absolute joy to be with. There is a definite luminosity that prevails, along with vulnerability, playfulness all rolled into a ball of energy. They are shy, self-deprecating and, ultimately, respectful. I was encouraged to craft a style that we were both thoroughly happy with in the end. In spite of being in an industry designed to mould and control, jUDE strikes me as an entity that will always remain jUDE. Refreshing.

How much do you feel you control your look?

A lot more now that I’m signed with Peggi. I am able to style my hair to my personality and liking rather than to the industry’s female standards.

Our photo shoot took place right after the haircut and once again, along with my fashion partner in crime, lensman Ivan Otis, we had an absolute blast producing some iconic images. I wanted to introduce you to jUDE and the changing face of the modelling world, and they agreed to be interviewed for IN.

Do you feel people are supportive of gender non-specificity in the industry?

I think there are some people who are, but a lot of people still don’t know much about gender fluidity, and of course where do we all fit in when there’s only a men’s or a women’s board!

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Photo: Ivan Otis Hair: Brian Philips Makeup: Chantal Hubens Styling: Serena Vaz

Can you give us a little background on your family history?

My dad comes from a Ukrainian heritage, and my mom is French Canadian and First Nations. I am the middle child. I have a younger sister and older brother. My family owns a business in Florida, so I have spent a lot of time down there. It’s like my second home.

Would you say you had support at home from family and friends?

Everyone has their challenges, but yes I have. And I’m currently in a really supportive relationship too. It helps a lot.

Your Insta is amazing! I notice you really like shaking things up with wigs and killer looks. What is your favourite hair colour?

Thanks! My favourite hair colour has to be silvery white.

You are definitely a trailblazer in the modelling world. What are your hopes for modelling in Tokyo this summer and China in the fall?

To explore and enjoy the different cultures and of course work my butt off!

BRIAN PHILLIPS has owned and operated worldSALON in downtown Toronto for almost 30 years. He is a writer and runner, and now promotes health and 25 wellness through his product lines World Hair and Skin, and NogginOil.

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Brock McGillis: Breaking Barriers In Sport, One Goal At A Time This former hockey pro is making sport a better place for LGBTQ athletes

By Marianne Wisenthal

“For years I lived a life of denial because I am gay.”

Brock McGillis made waves in November 2016 when he wrote those words, becoming the first professional hockey player to publicly reveal he’s gay. After many years playing with the Ontario Hockey League (OHL) and for minor leagues in Europe and the United States, he wrote a first-person piece for Yahoo Sports Canada. Within 24 hours he’d received more than 10,000 messages of support.

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It was a life-changing moment for the Sudbury native. “It blew me away,” he says. “I just kept crying.” Since then, McGillis has become an outspoken advocate for the LGBTQ community.

He regularly travels across Canada speaking about inclusivity to school groups and organizations. Today he’s very much out and proud, but the road to get there was far from smooth.

“Growing up in northern Ontario I was the typical hockey boy,” says McGillis. He loved the game, and spent hours on the ice practising. Drafted to the OHL in his teens, he was a celebrity in his community. “I was a cocky jock who got a lot of attention.”

Outwardly, it was the best time of his life. Inside, he was a mess.

McGillis says he knew he was gay as a young child. He vividly remembers asking his parents about it when he was six years old.

They responded that if he was gay, that was fine and they loved him. But, immersed in the macho world of hockey, it was another story. “Men tend to feminize one another or use homo negative language to put each other down,” says McGillis. “If you’re a ‘fag’ or a ‘woman,’ you’re [considered] less than a man and not tough enough for our sport.” So he kept his feelings to himself, and by age 16 was drinking heavily to numb the pain.

At age 19, McGillis was ranked on the NHL draft list, but his prospects were derailed by a series of injuries, from cuts and

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concussions to mono and knee surgeries. In the years that followed, he continued to play but was anxious and depressed, and he attempted suicide several times. “I hid [who I really was] from everyone. And I hated myself.” At 23, while playing hockey in Europe, he “was taking a lot of risks and doing some foolish things,” he says. “I knew that if I didn’t do something, I would die.” It was a turning point. When the season ended, he returned to Canada and decided to go on a date with a man. “It was the scariest experience of my life. I was shaking.” Soon after, he fell in love and remained in a serious relationship for three years. And yet, still, he didn’t come out to his family or his teammates.

McGillis refers a lot to “the culture of hockey,” a landscape he describes as hyper-masculine and extremely homophobic. But it was the only world he knew and one he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave. In the hockey community, he says, “people expect you to act a certain way, and I conformed to that.” He was scared that if anyone knew he was gay, he would be shunned from the game. He was terrified that if his parents knew, they might accidentally let it slip.

“The majority of hockey players come from North America and Western Europe,” he says. “These are some of the most inclusive countries in the world and yet hockey seems like it’s the least inclusive sport. It boggles my mind.” Part of the reason McGillis thinks attitudes have been slow to change is because “players become coaches and those same coaches go on to become managers,” he says. “Men in their 50s and 60s [have been] using the same language for years and their archaic views have remained intact.”

Plagued by injuries and emotionally exhausted, McGillis decided to take a break from the game. “The minute I stopped playing, I felt free, like my life was about to start.” He spent time with his boyfriend and hung out in the village, but didn’t really feel part

Photos by Adam Deunk

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of the community. Publicly he continued to pose as “this hetero hockey player, because it was how I self-identified,” he says. “When you’re an athlete at a high level, that’s all people talk to you about, and it’s all you know yourself as.”

When he was 25, McGillis was invited to play for the Concordia University team. Back in the hockey world, he told his long-term boyfriend that he’d need to “keep up appearances” by dating women.

Now, he is filled with regret about this period in his life. “It breaks my heart that I did that to somebody I cared so much about,” he says. ““Not only will I keep you a secret, but I’m not going to be faithful.’” The relationship did not survive, and it was a lonely time for McGillis. “I was grieving the loss of the first person I truly loved and [because no one knew about it] I had nobody to talk to.”

The catalyst for real change in McGillis’s life finally came in 2009 while he was watching a Maple Leafs game on TV. A young man was speaking between periods about being gay. It was Brendan Burke, an aspiring general manager and son of Calgary Flames President Brian Burke. McGillis reached out to Brendan, and a strong friendship formed. “It was a relief, like 100 pounds off my shoulders,” he says. “I finally had someone in my life who knew I was gay but who also understood what it was like to be in the hockey world.” In February 2010, Brendan sent McGillis a text message that said, “I can’t wait for the day when you’re out to your family like I am to mine.” Two days later, Brendan tragically died in a car accident. His final words resonated with McGillis. Soon after, he came out to his brother – a fellow OHL player – followed by the rest of his family and close friends.

language, they’d immediately apologize. “I wondered if maybe it’s because they know me. Maybe they still go to school and call kids fags.” Then he heard that one player was making his friends at school do 50 push-ups any time one of them said, “That’s so gay.”

Says McGillis: “It made me realize that if a shift can happen in my tiny bubble, maybe it can happen on a larger scale. But I was still afraid [to come out]. I’d been treated so poorly by a division within the hockey world, [and] what if it got worse?”

Then the Pulse nightclub shooting happened, and McGillis’s entire view on things changed. “I was angry and afraid. It could have been me and my friends in Toronto. It gave me the kick in the ass I needed. I said, ‘I’m done. I don’t care what it costs me, I’m using my platform and doing whatever I have to do.’” He reached out to a journalist he knew at Yahoo Sports, penned a letter and, finally, at 33 years old he was “officially” out of the closet.

McGillis refers to his post as “an f-you” to what had gone on in Orlando. “I just wanted to maybe help one person. I had no idea before that there were so many people struggling like I had been.”

Now, after so many years keeping quiet about his sexuality, the former hockey goalie can’t stop talking. He reckons that in just 18 months he’s spoken to over 100,000 people including high schools, businesses and OHL teams.

His goal? To shift the homo-negative and feminizing lingo that’s still so prevalent in sport. “We’ve become desensitized to the language because it’s so frequently used,” he says. “Just recently I had a coach tell me that when you give up the puck in your zone through the middle of the ice, he calls it ‘Queer Street.’” And, during the After yet another knee injury McGillis retired from playing hockey, 2017 playoffs, an NHL player called a ref “cocksucker.” When and he started working as a coach and mentor to young players McGillis spoke out calling the comment personally offensive, he in and around Sudbury. Professionally, he kept his sexuality to received death threats. “If this language is impacting me, what’s himself. “In smaller communities there’s not a lot of exposure to it doing to the closeted kid who’s being directly bullied?” he says. the LGBTQ community,” he says. “What would the parents think? “It perpetuates a [homophobic] culture.”

Would they want their sons and daughters around the gay guy?”

There started to be rumours, and one of the hockey associations After so many years living in pain, McGillis says he’s the happiest he’d been working with abruptly let him go. “All my worst fears he’s ever been. “This past year has been exhausting in the best way had come true,” says McGillis. “I was being shunned from the possible,” he says. “I never thought I’d be the first [professional community that I love.” But he kept working with young athletes, hockey player] to share my story. I thought there’d have been and one day he got a call from a hockey mom asking if she could others before me, but it didn’t turn out that way.” set him up on a date. “I said to myself, ‘Oh no, what do I say?’

Finally I say, ‘What’s her name?’ and she answers, ‘His name This fall he’ll be featured in a book about hockey heroes who is Steve.’” McGillis asked the parent how she knew he was gay. are changing the game for the better. There’s a YouTube series, “All the boys know,” she said. “They’ve known for years.” The and he’s one of three people being profiled in a National Film hyper-masculine hockey world was evolving, just a little. “These Board documentary about LGBTQ+ athletes. He’s also starting a cocky little hockey boys who think they’re gifts to the world all foundation and hoping to speak at every elementary and high school know I’m gay and choose to work with me. In northern Ontario. in Canada. “My goal is to be at the forefront of a shift in society How cool is that?” where we recognize our differences and celebrate them, as opposed to trying to conform. When I talk to kids, I say, ‘Normal doesn’t McGillis started to notice that if any of his players used homophobic exist. It’s a fallacy. We’re all a bunch of weirdos and it’s beautiful.’”

MARIANNE WISENTHAL is a Toronto-based writer and content strategist. When she’s not wrangling words with aplomb, you can find her singing show tunes with her community choir.

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The Reign Of SportS Style How athleisure took over the fashion world, and why the ultra-easy style isn’t going anywhere any time soon

By Aram Eginliyan

Whether you call it athleisure, sports style or athletic chic, this clothing concept is allowing men, women and everyone in between to take their wardrobe to a whole new casual level. Three years ago, when the trend first came to the forefront, who would have thought that we would still be affected by it today? I most certainly did not, but in the age of millennialism, where Instagram models have become celebrities and sneakers are being sold for thousands of dollars, it’s no shock that the phenomenon of casual dressing has become a staple in the lives of people all over the world.

The trend of sports style first took the forefront when new and emerging designers such as Alexander Wang (now known all over the world for his iconic casual designs) were able to elevate everyday wardrobe staples like sweatshirts and sweatpants – near and dear to our hearts due to their ease of wear – and reinvent the wheel.

Designers such as Helmut Lang and Yohji Yamamoto have been able to turn these staples into garments that are stylish and unique while at the same time never eliminating the feeling of comfort that makes them such important pieces of people’s wardrobes.

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The emergence and now continual reign of athleisure hasn’t only given new designers the opportunity to take the forefront as leaders in the fashion industry. It has also given iconic sports brands like Adidas, Nike, Puma, Under Armour and so many others the chance to reach a whole new demographic of customers. In the 1990s and early 2000s, style influencers and LGBT icons such as Mel C (also near and dear to our hearts as Sporty Spice and TLC) were known to take the stage in crop tops, sports bras, sneakers and, most importantly, stylish sweats and joggers like the world had never seen. That created a desire for sportswear like never before.

As history repeats itself – as it so often does when it comes to fashion and what’s in style – we are now seeing the resurgence of ’90s brands like Fila and Champion becoming popular not only through collaboration with other sporting brands but also with other designers and brands from fast fashion to luxury houses.

And that is making branded sportswear a regular feature in the wardrobes of a whole new generation of shoppers.

For those unaware of the impact that athleisure and sports apparel has had, no brand is a better example than Supreme. As the mega giants of the sportswear industry began to grow to a level never seen before and the market was beginning to become saturated with new and innovative designs, it was unthinkable that any smaller brand would be able to make a name for itself. That is, until Supreme began to take the scene over the past few years.

Though the brand came to exist in 1994, it was this boom of premium athletic wear that really gave it and other mid-tier luxury brands the momentum to go from the local niche skater scene of

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New York City to a full-blown global phenomenon that sells out within 15 seconds of being released.

Looking at their designs, however, it’s clear that Supreme isn’t about reinventing the wheel at all. Supreme has been able to create a cult-like following of hype beasts and pop culture lovers alike simply by creating classic designs that are often stamped with their now-famous red box logo with Supreme in italic font written in the middle. Although that instantly recognizable logo may be their bestselling stock, Supreme has also been able to think backwards instead of forward when it comes to their designs, by creating collections and pieces directly printed or inspired by pop culture classics like the 1987 film HellRaiser or 1991’s Silence of the Lambs.

With all those notches already in their belt, the world of athleisure and sports apparel changed forever in 2017 when Supreme was chosen by the 140+-year-old luxury fashion house Louis Vuitton as the collaboration brand for its Men’s A/W 17 collection. Celebrity social media accounts filled with pictures of the still-to-be-released coveted collection by names like Brooklyn Beckham and Marc Jacobs, and the press was buzzing about the collaboration that no one had ever seen coming. It’s no shock that the entire collection sold out worldwide before it even hit stores. Not only did this collection shake the ground when it came to the sportswear or sports style industry but it also played an important part in Supreme achieving the status of a billion-dollar brand.

Fast-forward to this years’s fashion weeks in Milan and Paris, where influencers, media and celebrities lined the catwalks to see what would be in store for the upcoming Spring/Summer 19 Collections. Lo and behold, collections from iconic fashion houses such as Versace and Hermès filled the runways with sportier and athletic-focused cuts and designs. This modern move by luxury houses to combine their brand DNA with sportier designs will not only combine utility and fashion but is sure to make an influential splash when it comes to the world of luxury fashion in seasons to come.

As we approach a time when fashion and style are much more accessible and easy to follow, one can’t help but wonder what impact sports apparel will continue to have when it comes to the way we dress. If the past few years have been any indication, perhaps the line really has begun to blur when it comes to athletic style being part of the new norm when it comes to our day-to-day looks, and it is exciting to know that we may live in a world where stylish sweatshirts and sleek sweats are becoming the new standard of work attire. I for one can’t wait to see how this phenomenon continues to impact the way we dress ourselves in the years to come.

Aram Eginliyan is a Toronto-based fashion stylist, personal shopper, style writer and lover of all things fashion and luxury.

IN As MAGAZINE a fashion chameleon through and through and through, you’ll often see him going from streetwear to suits. Follow his socials and blog at @arameginliyan or thedebonairdude.com.

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Learning The Lessons The school of Sex and the City is in session

By Jumol Royes

Fun fact: it’s been 20 years since the iconic TV series Sex and the City first premiered on HBO. Boy, how time flies.

I was a little late jumping on the SATC bandwagon, but when I fell for the show, I fell hard. I connected with Charlotte’s eternal optimism and belief in the power of love, Samantha inspired me to live life to the fullest and ignore the naysayers, and Miranda reminded me that sometimes I have to get out of my head and into my heart.

Fast-forward to today, and fans and critics alike argue the series hasn’t stood the test of time – the lack of diversity in the cast is just one glaring example. But there were also many timeless moments, and for me, one of those moments came during the 2008 big-screen adaptation. While sitting at a bar with her assistant (played by Jennifer Hudson), Carrie imparts a sage piece of advice: “Enjoy yourself. That’s what your 20s are for. Your 30s are to learn the lessons. Your 40s are to pay for the drinks.”

Be the hero of your own story I come from a long line of storytellers – and I’m a storyteller at heart – but sometimes the stories I tell myself don’t serve me well.

While owning our stories is a critical component for cultivating self-awareness, our stories can also keep us stuck, and no one can write the ending to our story except for us. We all know people who operate under the misguided belief that one day their prince will come along and make everything better. Perhaps you’re one of those people. If you’ve been waiting for someone to come save you, stop waiting. They’re not coming. There’s no knight in shining armour or fairy godmother with a magic wand. Life isn’t a fairy tale and you’re not Snow White. Save yourself and be the hero of your own story.

Who would you be without your story? If you don’t like the story you’ve been telling yourself, it might be time to change it.

Follow the light As a little kid, I loved the song, “This Little Light of Mine.” I love As a 30-something gay man, I’m still learning the lessons and I’ve it just as much, if not more, today. The thing about the light, though, come across a few that are definitely worth sharing. So listen up… is that we don’t always stand in it. More often than not we find school is in session. ourselves standing in the shadows, or completely in the dark. But just because we don’t see the light doesn’t mean it isn’t there. In You matter a world rife with discord and division, we can’t forget that when It’s been said that the simplest lessons are often the hardest ones faced with a challenging choice or difficult decision, we can pick to learn, and that is especially true when it comes to believing in the most loving option. Not the most popular or most convenient our own self-worth. The simple truth is: we all want to be seen or most comfortable, but the most loving. We can always choose and heard. What we think, what we feel, what we say, matters. to come back and follow the light and when we do, we’ll shine Who we are matters. You matter. I matter. We all matter. And if just as bright. we matter, that means we have to learn to put ourselves first and fill ourselves up before we can be of service to anyone else. It’s What makes you light up? Whatever it is, embrace it, honour it like what spiritual teacher Iyanla Vanzant says: “You know: ‘My and share it with the world. cup runneth over.’ What comes out of the cup is for y’all. What’s in the cup is mine. But I’ve got to keep my cup full.”

Looking back on it, Sex and the City was a groundbreaking series that didn’t get it all right all the time. It was perfectly imperfect, just When was the last time you put yourself first or did something like each of us. Learning to be okay with being perfectly imperfect special for yourself just because? If you have to think about it, is another lesson we could all stand to learn. it’s been too long.

JUMOL ROYES is a Toronto-based writer/PR & communications strategist with a keen interest in personal development and transformation. Follow him on Twitter @Jumol.

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DAYLIGHT SAVING Safeguard in autumn’s playful layering for a silhouette that pales in comparison

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Photography: Natalie Asumeng Fashion Direction: Danyl Geneciran Styling: Kalvin Coria Grooming: Daniela Rubio Photography Assistant: Courtney Truong Model: Stephen

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FASHION Fishtail Coat & Moto Jacket: Lamarque Leather Trousers: Fin de Semaine 33

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Cap: STYLIST’S OWN Blazer: Joy Man from City of Angels Fishtail Coat: Lamarque

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FASHION Button down shirt: Chloe Patent Bucket Pants: Hat: Nicopanda R. Laurel Boots: Balenciaga Robe Coat & Wide-Leg Trousers: Mayer Man

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Suit: Sergio Barone from City of Angels Blazer: Joy Man from City of Angels Velvet Scarf: Norma Kamali Classic Two-Tone Creepers: T.U.K.

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Hat: Big It Up

Gloves: Stylist’s Own Trousers:THE KOOPLES Knitted Cropped Vest: H&M Studio Underwear: Calvin Klein Raincoat: Uniqlo

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Double-Breasted Overcoat: Mayer Man Shirt: City of Angels Shorts: Pistola Black Belt: Buffalo Jeans Belt: Simons Socks: Frederik Anderson Copenhagen Brogues: Ecco 38

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FASHION Shirts and Trousers: Mayer Man Beret: Laulhère Belt: Calvin Klein Socks: Urban Outfitters Double Monk-Strap Shoes: Fin de Semaine 39

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Overlaying

Fall is the season for layering — a style that not only keeps you warm, but can take your look to the next level

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Photographer: Gastohn Barrios (www.gastohn.com) Makeup / Styling: Sergio Araneo Model: Jorge Piantelli

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Thirst And Sanctimony On Social Media There’s certainly something beautiful about the shamelessness of Instagays

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By Paul Gallant

Adults used to warn their children, “If you don’t have anything “However, as things have progressed, this identity is moving into nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” (Drag queens, of course, their everyday lives. The main reason why you go to a glamorous advise: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”) event is not for the personal satisfaction anymore, it is to share a photograph of the event on Instagram to enhance your identity.…

But these days, it seems, the rule is: “If you don’t have something [In real life] their identity is not as easily controlled, forcing them to either arousing or outrage-inducing to put out there, you’re not either change their behaviour in real life to fit their created identity or to close themselves off from the world in fear of showing their trying hard enough.” genuine self.”

As a species we are increasingly living our lives online, and to stand out – to even exist, really – we are obliged to create attention-getting It’s not just the Instagays who are having their lives reconfigured social-media fodder. Humans are status-seeking animals, and the by social media. Followers consume these delicious images as we digital realm has given us unlimited opportunities to build alliances might consume porn or a bag of chips – short-lived pleasures that, and attract fawning fans. In the LGBT community, these urges are whether we realize it or not, alter our perceptions of ourselves and most visible in two seemingly unrelated trends: those who live in the world. Earlier this year, Snapchat users were upset when the perpetual thirst, like the sexy shirtless Instagays, and those who app separated friend streams from celebrity streams. CEO Evan live in a cloud of perpetual outrage, like the valiant social justice Spiegel caused even more outrage when he declared: “People are warriors. But they’re really two sides of the same coin. saying, ‘I used to feel like this celebrity was my friend and now they’re not my friend anymore.’ Exactly. They’re not your friend.”

My favourite Instagay regularly posts nearly naked photos of When we mix the elite group of Instagays, who live their lives for himself, often with his junk strategically hidden behind a towel, the camera, with our own existence, we are apt to feel inferior – or book or well-placed leg. “No, gentlemen, I do not plan to post submit ourselves to the same regimes. photos showing my dick,” he wrote when he launched his Twitter feed. “If you are here waiting for that, you are wasting your time.” Putting a more unfiltered version of yourself online has risks. On That’s the kinda tease that makes followers check hourly. More Reddit.com/r/lgbt, there’s a trend of young trans/non-binary people skin inevitably equals more likes. Take, for example, Justin and posting selfies with some version of “Do I pass, do I look good?”

Nick (@justinickpgh), a marvellously hunky gay couple living Most Redditers are kind enough to respond with something like: in Virginia, with an Instagram following of more than 567,000. “You’re beautiful as you are; passing doesn’t matter.” But one gets Though their photos are always sexy and styled to the max, the shots the feeling that advice on hair length and makeup has more impact, of them wearing only underwear substantially out-like the as if the online world has the right and the capacity to dictate what shots of them partly undressed or, heaven forbid, fully clothed. Justin each of us should be. and Nick together undressed in bed: guaranteed 52K. Justin and Nick outdoors in their clothes: 33K at best. Yes, we’re that shallow. On the surface, sharing opinions on social media seems like a less narcissistic way to gain status and a sense of belonging. But I fear There’s certainly something beautiful about the shamelessness that people are posting to activate the designed-to-be-rewarding of Instagays. They can be their “best” selves in a world where social-media feedback loop, rather than seeing both sides of an LGBT people must often hide or fake their way through life. But argument and offering up a more nuanced, more personal point of it can also be a trap, not only in constantly needing the validation view. We post what gets attention – any kind of attention – rather of likes and retweets – outsourcing one’s self-esteem to others is than the truly complex feelings most of us are saddled with. never healthy – but by ultimately turning into another kind of fake.

Both the left and the right become caught up in “virtue signalling,” “By choosing and controlling what is to be shown to others, where prefab opinions are used to quickly categorize and denounce [Instagrammers] can eliminate all the negative aspects of their a person, institution or event (That’s an attack on our rights! That’s lives and persons, and solemnly focus on what is positive,” write socialist! That’s an insult!) rather than exploring causes and solutions.

Caroline Garsbo and Emilia Sörensson Wittberger in a 2014 paper Donald Trump’s an outrage, Doug Ford’s an outrage, the police out of Sweden’s Lund School of Economics and Management. are an outrage, the protesters against the police are an outrage,

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what you posted about it on my Timeline is an outrage…and so on.

Constant indignation makes for a one-note echo chamber, where humour – once the most reliable and effective weapon wielded

by LGBT people – has a hard time flourishing. We’ve all become soccer players wailing on the field after taking a dive. This might account for the resurgence in the popularity of drag queens, who have no virtue to signal.

These days we can learn about all corners of our world in a way we never could before and, surprise, it’s a world full of problems.

But living in endless distress about those problems – with our feelings deepened by social-media commiserating – gets in the way of creative responses. We’re too anxious and scattered to do anything useful.

Studies have shown that emotions are contagious, even online, meaning that people who read negative content are more likely to post negative content, drawing a self-perpetuating dark cloud over our connected world. So then we must turn to beautiful pictures of (supposedly) perfect people living perfect lives to distract us from the virus of perpetual outrage.

Sounds like addiction to me. But, fortunately, the rehab is not as daunting as signing yourself into the Betty Ford Clinic. Put down your phone. Talk to people face to face. Be as promiscuous with in-person compliments as with likes. On issues you care about, set out your case politely, in your own words. Don’t troll and don’t fall for trolling. There are times when anger is more useful than charm. Those times are rare.

PAUL GALLANT is a Toronto-based writer and editor who writes about travel, innovation, city building, social issues (particularly LGBT issues) and business for a variety of national and international publications. He’s done time as lead editor at the loop magazine in Vancouver as well as Xtra and fab in Toronto.

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Way West Coast A Vancouver Island culinary road trip yields bold libations, divine seafood, big hikes and heavenly hydrotherapy

By Doug Wallace

Salmon candy is the carrot on the stick. You dangle that in front of me and I will walk for miles. When I’m lucky enough to get my hands on these sweet and salty smoked-salmon morsels, I ration them for weeks, savouring every molecule.

It’s with this tasty treat in the back of my mind that we hop into a flash Buick Regal in Vancouver and head out on the ferry to Vancouver Island for a culinary road trip from one side of the island to the other. When all you have to do every day is drive around one of the most beautiful places on earth looking for your next meal, life is good.

The eating extravaganza starts in Courtney-Comox, a two-pronged town nestled between the Beaufort Mountains and the Strait of Georgia, north of Nanaimo. And with our visit in June, almost every storefront is done up in rainbow whatnot for Pride Month, despite a population of only 40,000. One of the main intersections even has a rainbow crosswalk. This town could give some of the bigger cities a lesson on how to properly gay things up.

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Even though it isn’t quite noon, we wander into Gladstone Brewery for pints at its barn-sized digs, kitted out with plain wooden tables, the big tanks clanging away in the far end of the room. Brawny, baseball cap-wearing locals belly up to their lunch at the bar, and the local office people start communing around tables on the patio.

It doesn’t take long before I’m staring straight in the face of a giant pork-belly burrito, from which I don’t look away until it is gone.

The distillery, in the centre of Courtney, focuses on Belgian ales, European lagers and Pacific Northwest-style India pale ales, all dolled up in cool, colour-blocked labels. I like it so much, I buy the hat. (Really, I just want to fit in.)

I’m stuffed to the gills when we relocate to nearby Wayward Distillation House, the first distillery in Canada to make all its craft spirits out of honey. We try the signature vodka and gin before moving on to the spiced honey liqueur and a very smooth rum. It’s the Unruly Gin that makes it into my suitcase back at the Kingfisher Oceanside Resort & Spa, our home for the next couple of days.

The Kingfisher is one of those places where the blend of tourists and locals benefits everyone. People are drawn to the busy yoga studio, the gym, the bar with its outdoor patio, the fine dining at Ocean 7 and the Pacific Mist Spa, where we book in for the signature

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Hydropath water circuit. I zoom into the reception area with a “What’s the drill?” to be told that Step 1 for me is the relaxation lounge. “I’m on a schedule!” I tease her back. We are soon taking the waters in an almost Flintstones-like cave, guided through five different sandstone-sculpted alcoves and pools – a shower, a pool, a waterfall, a steam, an ice-cold waterfall, a hot-cold bath, a mineral soak and a scrub. We emerge remineralized and detoxified, even though I’ve worked very hard on those toxins (and they cost money).

The Kingfisher people stop by with a message: 40 Knotts Estate Winery is having a party tonight and would we like to go? No arm-twisting is necessary, and a cinq-à-sept in the vineyard is spoton gorgeous, with a local musician strumming away, eagles circling overhead. Co-owner Brenda laments that a few of their chickens have gone missing thanks to the aggressive eagles, but this is the rugged West Coast after all. In honour of Pride Month, she pops open a special, LGBTQ-inspired sparkling rosé, before ushering us on to a taste-test of one of the winery’s showpieces, an orange wine made with Schonberger and Pinot Gris grapes fermented and aged on skins in Italian Terracotta Amphora. We are in heaven. I close my eyes and let the flavours melt into my brain.

Ucluelet is the new Tofino One of my big travel tips is to have something in the car to eat.

On the advice of practically everyone in the area, we stop at a community called Coombs, hearing something about goats on the roof. Sure enough, there are actually goats grazing away on a grass-covered rooftop of the main grocery and marketplace, where I can’t stop laughing long enough to order a sandwich. The story goes that the owners were wondering how they were going to mow the grass on the green roof, before hoisting a goat up there, which never left. Now there are a few of them, keeping the roof tidy and posing unawares for thousands of photographs, including my own.

Once on the famed Pacific Rim Highway No. 4, I realize I have to ease up on the running commentary because my partner needs to concentrate on his driving, what with the twists and turns, the narrow bits and the traffic. And then, the rain. I hold my breath, pumping my brake foot more than a few times and audibly gasping at the scenery, which is literally breathtaking. It’s one of those drives where a lake suddenly blasts into view as you reach a break in the forest, a series of staggeringly pure Canadiana moments.

Photos:Destination BC

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travel About two hours later, we pull into the parking lot of The Francis, a high-design, four-room self-catered inn with all the comforts of home in the Pacific coastal town of Ucluelet. It’s the lesser-known cousin of Tofino: same rugged beauty with fewer boats, a more contemplative tourist crowd and a higher local-to-tourist ratio.

We suggest “Ucluelet is the New Tofino” T-shirts to our host, who isn’t buying it. After getting a tutorial on how to turn on the hot tub and info on where to find ice, we stash our uneaten goatshop goodies in the fridge and head out to walk off the quickly accumulating calories.

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Happily, this town is built for walking. A hike around the southern tip of the peninsula, anchored by the Amphitrite Lighthouse, primes our legs for the next day’s adventure along the famed Wild Pacific Trail, an eight-kilometre stretch of hiking through old-growth coastal rainforest, the ocean churning away at our elbows. Whatever tiny cares I have abruptly melt away into the forest.

But it doesn’t take eight kilometres before my ass is grass, so we break for a wind-down with a walk through the Ucluelet Aquarium, Canada’s first catch-and-release aquarium, a public non-profit.

Inside, it’s like a warehouse filled with rows of tanks and tubs and hoses, the kids all sticking their little hands into things and squealing. The fish and invertebrates are from the Clayoquot and Barkley Sounds. I’ve never touched a live starfish before, so here I am petting a starfish, who is just clinging onto his rock for dear life, like he knows anything else. The sea anemones and feather worms are gorgeous as usual. The headlining giant octopus is fast asleep – surprise, surprise. I become infatuated with a tiny crab that appears to be eating everything in sight, most of it microscopic.

He is my Instagram star of the day.

There is really just the one Tofino Tofino, a half-hour up the road, is a paradise of food, forest, sand 48

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and surfing. We hit the ground running with Kate McCallum from Tofino Food Tours, whom I love from the moment she hands me a maple doughnut with bacon on it. This is just scratching the surface, I soon discover, as we meander through town learning bits of local lore and present-day news punctuated by stops at a local pub for chowder and beer, a waterfront patio for charcuterie and cheese, an oyster bar built into an ice house at the end of a pier, and a shop specializing in my precious cured and smoked and jerked salmon. At last, I think! I become really chummy with the wild chum salmon jerky and buy a mittful. No one really bats an eye when I begin talking to the food. At Sobo Restaurant, we buy a cookbook and get it signed by the chef, formerly a local food-truck star, who is happy to learn that her restaurant comes highly recommended. Word of good food travels fast.

After the tour, we roll our bellies up to the front desk at the Tofino Resort + Marina on the edge of town, noted specifically for its all-in-one strategy: comfortable fuss-free rooms, the only pub in town where the locals and tourists actually hang out together, and an adventure centre that will take you whale-watching, fishing, seaplane sightseeing and more. Dinner at the resort’s 1909 Kitchen is a smorgasbord of taste sensations, including wood-fired pizza and fresh seafood, including anything you yourself might have caught on the ocean that morning.

On our last day, we load up with salmon sandwiches at the Common Loaf Bake Shop and head out for a few hours on the water with Jamie’s Adventures. We boat over to the famed Hot Springs Cove in Maquinna Marine Provincial Park and follow the winding boardwalk through the forest, over to the natural pools of mineral-rich water just above the shoreline. We find a steamy, rocky crevice to sink into and sun ourselves on the wet boulders like lizards. Is there any more of that salmon jerky left? What little there is, I’m happy to have it.

DOUG WALLACE is the editor and publisher of travel resource TravelRight.Today.

WorKpLACes To CoNsIDer Celebrating diversity and inclusion in the workplace.

For information on the Workplaces To Consider Program, contact: info@inmagazine.ca in partnership with

LEGAL NOTICE

Were you directly affected by the LGBT Purge in the Canadian Armed Forces, RCMP or Federal Public Service?

A settlement has been approved by the court. Please read this notice carefully.

A settlement between the Canadian Federal Government and certain current or former members of the Canadian Armed Forces (“CAF”), the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (“RCMP”) and employees of the Federal Public Service (“FPS”) who were affected by the LGBT Purge has been approved by the court.

The “LGBT Purge” refers to actions taken by the Federal Government of Canada to identify, investigate, sanction, and in some cases, terminate the employment of or discharge LGBTQ2 members of the CAF, RCMP or FPS. The class action lawsuits were commenced by Todd Ross, Martine Roy, and Alida Satalic (the “Representative Plaintiffs”). The Federal Government of Canada is called “Canada”.

WHO IS INCLUDED? The settlement provides for certain benefits and compensation to the following individuals (“Class Members”): All current or former members of the CAF, current or former members of the RCMP, and current or former Employees of the FPS, who were alive as of October 31, 2016 and who faced threat of sanction, were investigated, were sanctioned, or who were discharged or released from the CAF or RCMP or terminated from the FPS, or who resigned from the FPS, in connection with the LGBT Purge, by reason of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression between December 1, 1955 and June 20, 1996.

Family members of individuals who are deceased, but who would otherwise fall within one of the above classes are not Class Members and are not eligible for compensation. They may however, apply for and may be found to be eligible to receive individual recognition measures.

All Class Members, except those who validly opt out of the settlement, will be bound by the settlement, will be covered by the releases in the settlement, and will not have the right to sue Canada for harms caused by the LGBT Purge.

WHAT DOES THE SETTLEMENT PROVIDE? The settlement provides: (a) Broad based reconciliation and memorialization measures to be funded by Canada in an amount not less than $15 million; (b) Individual reconciliation and recognition measures consisting of (i) an award to be created and called the Canada Pride Citation; and (ii) a personal letter of apology; and (c) Individual compensation for those who were directly affected by the official policies.

All Class Members are eligible for individual reconciliation and recognition measures.

Only those Class Members who establish that they were investigated, sanctioned, discharged or terminated, are eligible to claim Individual Compensation. The range of Individual Compensation for most Class Members will be between $5,000 and $50,000. Class Members who experienced exceptional harm such as PTSD or who were sexually assaulted may be eligible for additional amounts.

HOW DO I GET THIS MONEY AND THESE BENEFITS? You must make a claim for money and/or for individual reconciliation and recognition measures. To do so, you must complete a Claim Form and send it to the Claims office during the Claims Period. The Claims Period will commence on October 25, 2018 and will end on April 25, 2019. A copy of the Claim Form will be available prior to the commencement of the Claims Period at www.lgbtpurgesettlement.com. If there is an appeal of the settlement approval order, the Claims Period may be extended or postponed. You are not eligible for these benefits if you opt out.

HOW MUCH MONEY WILL I GET? Amounts will depend on the type of harm you suffered and how many Eligible Class Members submit claims in the settlement. The details are explained in the settlement agreement. A copy of the settlement agreement is available here: www.lgbtpurgesettlement.com.

The Court approved a payment to Class Counsel in the amount of $15 million, plus applicable tax. You do not need to pay Class Counsel any money.

WHAT IF I DON’T WANT TO BE BOUND BY THE SETTLEMENT? If you do not want to be bound by the settlement, you must opt out of the class action by September 20, 2018.

If you opt out, you will not be entitled to any benefits or compensation for the settlement, and your claim against Canada in respect of the LGBT Purge will not be released. To opt out of the settlement, you must submit an Opt Out Form to the Claims Administrator. A copy of the Opt Out Form is available at www.lgbtpurgesettlement.com.

If you have commenced a legal proceeding against Canada relating to the LGBT purge, and you do not discontinue it on or before September 20, 2018 you will be deemed to have opted out of the settlement.

WANT MORE INFORMATION? Visit www.lgbtpurgesettlement.com, call 1-833-346-6178, email lgbtpurge@deloitte.ca, or write to LGBT Purge Class Action, c/o Deloitte, Bay Adelaide East, 8 Adelaide Street West, Suite 200, Toronto ON, M5H 0A9.

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO WAS AFFECTED BY THE LGBT PURGE? Please share this information with them.

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FLASHBACK September 23,1999 in LGBT history

Bi Visibility Day, aka Bisexual Day, was founded to celebrate the bisexual community

September 23 has been recognized around the world as Bi Visibility Day or International Celebrate Bisexuality Day since 1999. The day aims to provide a platform to the bisexual community and their supporters, and to bring attention to the social, economic and cultural prejudices and challenges faced by bisexual people. It’s an important day to recognize, especially within our own community because there’s also prejudice within the queer community.

The first Bi Visibility Day was organized in 1999 by a trio of American activists. Michael Page, Gigi Raven Wilbur and Wendy Curry rallied to raise awareness about bisexuality and to dispel the stigma surrounding their community. september / october 2018

“Ever since the Stonewall rebellion, the gay and lesbian community has grown in strength and visibility,” said Wilbur. “The bisexual community also has grown in strength, but in many ways we are still invisible. I too have been conditioned by society to automatically label a couple walking hand in hand as either straight or gay, depending upon the perceived gender of each person.”

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Thailand

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september / october 2018