IN Magazine: June 2016

JUNE 2016

AYDIAN DOWLING HIS INCREDIBLE JOURNEY 1

INMAGAZINE.CA PUBLISHER Patricia Salib GUEST EDITOR Christopher Turner ART DIRECTOR Prairie Koo FASHION DIRECTOR Danyl Geneciran INTERN Joel Ducharme CONTRIBUTORS Nelson Branco, Colin Druhan, Adriana Ermter, Paul Gallant, Ruth Hanley, Courtney Hardwick, Karen Kwan, Max MacDonald, Michael Pihach, Al Ramsay, Mitchel Raphael, Adam Segal, Mari Susuda, Philip Tetro, Doug Wallace, Casey Williams, Akihisa Yamaguchi SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Woodrow Monteiro DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Reggie Lanuza CONTROLLER Agnes Mao

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JUNE 2016

IN Magazine is published six times per year by The Mint Media Group. All rights reserved.

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IN MAGAZINE

CONTENTS

70 issue 70

June 2016

INFRONT

06 | JUSTIFYING OUR LOVE Justin Trudeau will be the first prime minister to march in Toronto’s Pride parade

08 | LOOKING GOOD Your guide on the what, when, why and how of wearing sunscreen

15 | RELATIONSHIPS Obsessing about why things ended might be a way for you to avoid something: grief

36 | LOVE, SEX AND MUSIC A quickie with sexy London DJ duo SexShooters

16 | WHEELS Storm forward in one of these hot convertibles

42 | TRAVEL: FLOATS YOUR BOAT A gay cruise may not be on your bucket list, but it should be

17 | ON THE TOWN Scenes from the party circuit

46 | INSIGHT: MUST PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS Friendship remains the lasting gay superpower

10 | MONEY$TYLE A way to give back that you can take to the bank

FEATURES

12 | PRIDE AT WORK How to answer co-workers’ questions about Pride Month … with a straight face

18 | THE TRUTH ABOUT POSING 25 years after Madonna’s film Truth or Dare, dancers open up in new doc

13 | COMMUNITY Egale unveils more plans for transitional and emergency housing for LGBTIQ2S youth

20 | MUCH ADO ABOUT RUFUS Rufus Wainwright isn’t a ‘prima donna’—he was just born to play one

14 | HEALTH & WELLNESS Hungover? Here’s how to ease your morning-after symptoms

24| AYDIAN DOWLING’S INCREDIBLE JOURNEY Aydian Dowling becomes the first transgender man to grace IN’s cover—read his inspirational journey

50 | FLASHBACK The Stonewall Riots would later be credited as a major turning point in the gay rights movement

FASHION 28 | DARK SUMMER NIGHTS Dress for when the sun goes down with summer styles that will look good in any light

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JUNE 2016

Photo by NaJin Lim

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IN MAGAZINE

PRIDE 2016

JUSTIFYING OUR LOVE Justin Trudeau will be the first prime minister to march in Toronto’s Pride parade

by Max MacDonald

If there isn’t enough excitement that Pride 2016 will have Michelle DuBarry, the Guinness World Record Holder World’s Oldest Performing Drag Queen; George Takei talking at Ryerson during Pride; and extraordinary drag artist Kim Chi performing … the Right Honourable Justin Trudeau will be walking in the Pride route. How’s that for fabulous? Though Trudeau has been a regular fixture at many past parades as an MP, he will strut into history as the first prime minister to walk in the parade. Yes, it’s a significant moment, but lest we forget, he’s not the first politician to do so.

In March 1988, MP Sven Robinson came out at a time when homosexuality was barely acceptable. You have to remember that in 1988, the Pride Toronto parade was not allowed to go past Church and Carlton. That June, Robinson led the parade, garnering much media attention, criticism and homophobia. His groundbreaking actions enabled other provincial and federal officials to join the parade.

After that, the likes of Toronto mayors from Mel Lastman to David Miller waved and squirted water guns; Miller even posed on the cover of fab magazine in leather. People such as MPs Bill Graham, the late Jack Layton and his wife Olivia Chow; and city councillors Kyle Rae and Kristyn Wong-Tam loved the cheers and jeers of the barricaded crowds on Yonge Street. However, no one dreamt of a prime minister, whether sitting or retired, to acknowledge gay pride.

Then along came the Right Honourable Jean Chrétien.

Chrétien believed gay pride was something to be celebrated, and he continually wrote letters of support for various parades across Canada. Up to this point, no other sitting prime minister had ever done that much, let alone wanted to be affiliated with an event considered the symbol of gay rights acceptance. His work set a

solid foundation for Trudeau’s historic appearance this July as prime minister.

With Trudeau’s (or any high-profile politician’s) appearance come the naysayers wondering, “What’s in it for him?” The simple answer: nothing but fun. Let’s keep in mind; this is not his first time at the Pride rodeo. He selflessly became a major fixture at the parade last year. He wasn’t just shaking hands and kissing drag queens; I’ve personally seen him stop for photos with members of groups from TICOT to Spearhead. Oh, and if you come at him with a Super Soaker, you’d better be prepared because he’ll probably have one too and will definitely shoot back. If that isn’t enough to win you over, look at his track record.

Trudeau’s rainmaking abilities have been unstoppable. He’s garnered major applause for having the first gender-balanced cabinet in Canadian history, swooned the fashion pack with a spread in Vogue, and opened Canadian doors to gay Syrian refugees. Trudeau has a straightforwardness as prime minister that has been compared to the likes of his late father and Obama. That’s not a bad way to start.

Of course, Trudeau won’t be flying solo on Sunday July 3. Other politicians will be attending Toronto Pride, including Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, federal Finance Minister Bill Morneau and Toronto’s Mayor John Tory, to name a few. If you have any doubts about Trudeau’s motives, consider this. He is the first prime minister in Canadian history to actively attempt to heal years of political bullying between the Prime Minister’s Office and Canada’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans community. So if you see him walk by at the parade, give him a hug and ask for a selfie. Where other politicians might say no, he always says, “Sure!”

MAX MACDONALD is a media, PR, menswear and creative influencer who brings cool ideas to life. You can follow him on Instagram at @andthentheresmax and Tumblr at andthentheresmax.tumbr.com.

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THE 411 ON SCREENING THE SUN Are you slathering on the SPF correctly? Consider this your everything-under-the-sun guide on the what, when, why and how of wearing sunscreen

By Adriana Ermter

Remember the anti-drug PSAs from the ’80s that featured a raw egg being cracked into a sizzling frying pan with the tagline: “This is your brain on drugs”? It was the more-is-better decade when we also used to grease up in baby oil—complete with a healthy splash of lemon juice in our hair—before sitting in the sun nestled beneath a metallic reflector screen that bounced the sun’s rays directly onto our face. Ironically, the way we treated our skin then was much like the commercial’s burning egg. Thankfully, we now know better.

And we have sunscreen. But are you wearing it?

What to wear Any sunscreen—lotions, creams, sprays—offering broad-spectrum protection against both UVA and UVB rays is the right choice. There are, however, two types of protection: physical and chemical. The other important consideration is SPF (sun protection factor), which refers to the product’s ability to screen out the sun’s UVB rays.

According to Dr. Kellett, skin cancer is the most common cancer in North America, and yet, it’s reported that only 14 per cent of men and 30 per cent of women wear sunscreen. It’s time for all of us to up the ante.

Chemical-based sunscreens typically contain carbon-based ingredients, like oxybenzone, avobenzone, octisalate, octocrylene, homosalate and octinoxate, and can be found in products such as Coppertone Clearly Sheer SPF 30 spray ($10, available at

JUNE 2016

Physical sunscreens typically contain mineral ingredients, like titanium dioxide and zinc oxide, and sit on top of the skin, blocking UVA and UVB rays. They can be found in products such as Cliniderm “Wearing sunscreen helps protect our skin against skin cancer,” Gentle Protective Lotion SPF 45 ($32, available at drugstores) says Dr. Lisa Kellett, a dermatologist and founder of DLK on and Green Beaver Sunscreen SPF 40 ($22, at health food stores).

Avenue in Toronto. “Both UVA (think: aging) and UVB (think: “These SPFs adhere to the skin’s surface and reflect the UV light,” burning) rays can cause redness and cellular damage. If you explains Leala McInerney, a senior educator for Dermalogica and burn or even tan, you have already damaged your skin. It’s like the International Dermal Institute Canada. Like the pink -, purple smoking, overeating and drinking too much. You are stressing and blue-coloured zinc-based options favoured by downhill skiers, your body’s way of defending itself.” these formulations have a thicker consistency, minus the funky hues.

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LOOKING GOOD

drugstores) and Dermalogica Daily Defense Sport SPF 50 ($46, available at spas and salons). These ingredients turn the UV rays into heat, “penetrate the skin” and then are released, “scattering the UV rays,” says McInerney. Their formulations are thinner in texture and spread on easily.

Know the numbers game The SPF is a numeric measurement of how effective the product is at protecting your skin against sun exposure. In recent years, these numbers have dropped as low as five and surged as high as 100.

The theory: The higher the number, the longer it lasts. “It’s the number one myth about sunscreen: If I put on an SPF of 100, I’m protected all day,” warns McInerney. Higher SPFs don’t mean you can stay out in the sun longer, according to the Canadian Cancer Society; they are simply meant to increase your protection when you do have to be outside. For example, SPF 15 products block 93 per cent of UVB rays, compared to 97 per cent for products SPF 30 and higher.

Where to wear While most of us are probably diligent about application during the hot summer months and during tropical beach vacations, ideally you should wear sunscreen on all of your exposed body parts, all year round. “We’re subject to ultraviolet rays walking to work, sitting in the car, eating lunch at a café,” says Dr. Kellett. “All of that time combined, every single day, results in more sun exposure than you realize.”

“Several years ago, Health Canada and the FDA made some very important updates to SPF rules and regulations,” says McInerney.

How much is enough “Now, SPFs sold in North America cannot be labelled as 60, 70 In general, a shot glass-sized amount (including spray-on versions) or 100. They need to be marked as SPF 50+ to counteract the of an SPF 30 will do the trick for your entire face and body. “If mentality consumers had.” you’re engaging in activities involving swimming, sweating or physical exertion in the sun, you’ll need to reapply your sunscreen So, how high should you go? Think of it this way: Wearing an SPF every two hours,” advises Dr. Kellett. “These activities can cause 30 will allow your skin 30 times more protection than it would the effectiveness of the sunscreen to be diminished.” have if you weren’t wearing any sunscreen at all.

ADRIANA ERMTER is a Toronto-based, lifestyle-magazine-pro who has travelled the globe, writing about must-spritz fragrances, child poverty, beauty and grooming.

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A WAY TO GIVE BACK THAT YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK To celebrate Pride, here’s the card that gives back to our community

By Al Ramsay

Photo by Indeana Underhill

JUNE 2016

Twelve years ago, my first job at TD was to reach out to the communities where I worked and lived, and the LGBT community was at the top of my list. Today TD supports hundreds of LGBT grassroots community organizations across Canada, including—just to name a few—The Lesbian Film Festival (London), 519 Community Centre (Toronto), GRIS-Montréal (Montreal), Out in School (Vancouver) and Chinook Lesbian and Gay Endowment Fund (Calgary).

We’ve come a long way! Twelve years ago, TD had a “coming out” party and became the first big bank in Canada to form a major Pride partnership. We partnered with (among others) Pride Toronto, then Vancouver Pride and Montreal Pride—the three largest Pride

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festivals in Canada. We wanted to tell the entire world that the LGBT community was an important part of our customer base, and we wanted to recognize them and support initiatives that were meaningful to their community. Personally, as a gay man, I felt proud and empowered to work for an institution that was genuinely inclusive.

We received quite a bit of backlash from some people for this decision; however, we stood firm in our values because we knew this was the right thing to do. Today, TD sponsors more than 40 Pride celebrations across North America—from Miami to the Northwest Territories Pride!

Well, summer is here again, and we’re gearing up to celebrate another Pride season across North America. TD and Aeroplan are celebrating by building on the success from last year and have expanded their charity from Toronto to include Vancouver and Montreal. Pride festival-goers in these three cities will have an opportunity to interact with the TD team on-site to hear more about how Aeroplan Miles will continue to help save lives around the world.

For more details on this year’s campaign, please visit: www. td.com/corporate-responsibility/diversity/serving-diverse-needs/ lgbta/lgbta.jsp.

Celebrate Pride with us We invite you to come out and celebrate Pride with TD this summer.

As usual, we have an array of exciting activities you can participate in, from our TD Music Stage with top entertainers to our ever-popular TD dancers and TD Boys & Girls on-site doing numerous activities.

And, of course, my absolute favourite: We invite you to come and march with us in the parade, which includes hundreds of TD employees, family and friends—and, in my opinion, we have the This is a win-win all around! You can earn miles with your Aeroplan best floats every year. credit card and at the same time support a worthy cause helping LGBT people in need around the world.

TD is #ForeverProud 365 days of the year!

“Last year, through the generous donation of Aeroplan Miles, TD supported flights for 15 persecuted LGBT individuals and covered nine short-term hotel stays,” says Justin Taylor, Rainbow Railroad’s executive director. “And, now that Aeroplan Miles can cover taxes and airport fees, we will be able to help even more people get to safety.”

Good Times, Good Works For more information on the TD Aeroplan Credit Card, go to: www.tdcanadatrust.com/products-services/ banking/credit-cards/view-all-cards/aeroplan-infinite-card.jsp To learn about the charities mentioned in this article, visit the following: Egale: www.egale.ca Rainbow Railroad:www.rainbowrailroad.ca Stephen Lewis Foundation: www.stephenlewisfoundation.org

AL RAMSAY is TD Bank Group’s regional manager, LGBTA Business Development. He can be reached at al.ramsay@td.com or follow him on Twitter at: @AlRamsay_TD.

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MONEY $TYLE

Helping to save lives around the world Last summer, TD and Aeroplan launched a unique program in Canada. During Toronto Pride week, for every dollar that was spent using a TD Aeroplan Credit Card, TD and Aeroplan donated one Aeroplan Mile to three organizations that fight for LGBT rights worldwide—Egale, Rainbow Railroad and the Stephen Lewis Foundation (Editor’s note: For more information on Egale and their upcoming transitional and emergency housing initiative, read our story on page 13). The campaign exceeded its donation goal, resulting in 21 million miles donated to the Aeroplan Beyond Miles charity program. This translates to approximately 105 return flights to South Africa, or 650 hotel night stays in downtown Toronto.

PRIDE AT WORK

“WHY IS THERE NO STRAIGHT PRIDE?” AND OTHER QUESTIONS How to answer co-workers’ questions about Pride Month … with a straight face

By Colin Druhan

June is Pride Month in Canada, and throughout the summer annual festivals will be staged across the country in celebration of our diverse community. As exciting as it can be to plan how you’ll celebrate Pride, nothing puts a damper on your enthusiasm like co-workers who have a less than ideal attitude about the festivities.

Sometimes criticism can come in the form of a question. It’s helpful to see every one of these queries as an opportunity to guide your colleagues to a deeper understanding of what Pride is and why we celebrate. Here’s how you may want to consider answering some frequently asked Pride questions from people who do not identify as LGBT:

Why do we have to celebrate gay people in June?

First off, Pride isn’t just about being gay. June was chosen for Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall Riots, which occurred in New York City in the summer of 1969. People of many gender identities, gender expressions and sexual orientations were involved in that landmark action, which is seen as the catalyst for the modern LGBT movement (Editor’s note: For more on the Stonewall Riots, see our story on page 50). We now use the month to honour the sacrifices of those who came before us, and to confront shared challenges that still lie ahead.

JUNE 2016

Why are LGBT people always complaining? Things seem okay to me!

Being openly LGBT still remains illegal in many parts of the world; in some places it’s punishable by death. Here in Canada, LGBT people face many barriers to success at work or school, as well as with their friends and families. The Canadian Mental Health Association says that because of homophobia, biphobia and transphobia, LGBT people in Canada experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive and phobic disorders, suicide, self-harm and substance abuse. Further, gender identity is not yet considered a prohibited ground of discrimination in the Canadian Human Rights Act, representing a gap in federal protections for people who are trans, non-binary or gender non-conforming.

These are just a few examples of why LGBT people and allies are still fighting for a brighter future.

Why would I want to go to a big loud party? That’s not my scene!

It’s true that many Pride events feature loud music and big crowds, and serve alcohol. However, most Pride festivals in Canada offer

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a broad range of activities for people with a variety of interests.

It’s not uncommon to find family barbecues, poetry readings, workshops and other low-key events in Pride festival lineups from coast to coast.

It’s also important to remember that some people either can’t or don’t want to attend events at all, and that is totally fine. Everyone celebrates Pride in their own unique way.

Why is there no Straight Pride Month?

This one’s a doozy. Proceed with caution! It can be tempting to come back with a cheeky one-liner like “Every month is Straight Pride Month!” But that can alienate people from the true meaning of Pride, which is to celebrate what makes each of us unique. It also shifts focus from the fact that Pride isn’t just about sexual orientation; it’s about gender identity, gender expression, relationships, family, self-respect, dignity, and so much more. That’s why there is no single answer to this question. If you want to respond, you might want to try explaining what Pride means to you, or open up about what it feels like to be part of Canada’s LGBT community.

Your colleagues are more likely to respond positively if you send messages of possibility and hope than words of anger and negativity.

Remember, if you’re able to keep calm, cool and collected when you get these questions, you’ll be a much better advocate for the community. When you take the opportunity to thoughtfully change someone’s perspective, you may be helping that person become a better ally of LGBT people. Who knows? Maybe the co-worker asking questions this year will be helping you answer them next Pride season.

COLIN DRUHAN is the executive director of Pride at Work Canada, a not-for-profit organization that empowers employers to foster workplace cultures that recognize LGBT employees. For more information, visit prideatwork.ca.

IN MAGAZINE

COMMUNITY

EGALE UNVEILS PLANS FOR TRANSITIONAL AND EMERGENCY HOUSING New facility exclusively dedicated to the needs of LGBTIQ2S youth will have 30 residential units

By Christopher Turner

Egale Canada Human Rights Trust continues to build on its plans to open a safe haven for LGBTIQ2S youth in Toronto. Construction on the long-awaited Egale Centre is set to begin this fall and will last approximately 12 months.

When the Egale Centre opens its doors, the 17,500-square-foot facility will combine intensive on-site counselling services with transitional and emergency housing to address the needs of Toronto’s homeless LGBTIQ2S youth between the ages of 16 and 29. The facility will take a harm-reductive, and skills-development approach to best address the unique challenges facing Toronto’s LGBTIQ2S homeless youth and empower them for a successful transition to stable, long-term and independent housing.

LGBTIQ2S youth in the city are significantly more likely to be homeless than the rest of the population, and often avoid the shelter system because of fear, harassment and violence. Considering that almost one in four homeless youth in Toronto identify somewhere along the LGBTIQ2S spectrum, programs that focus on their unique needs and safety have been a long time coming.

Egale and the YMCA were the two successful applicants to the City of Toronto’s Request for Expression of Interest to increase the total number of transitional housing beds for homeless youth by 55. On February 1, the YMCA reopened its Sprott House, located on Walmer Road in the Annex, as a transitional house for LGBT youth and those who identify as allies.

As Canada’s only national LGBT human rights charity, Egale has an extensive history of working to improve the lives

Exterior sketch, Egale Centre

of LGBTIQ2S youth across the country.

It plans to renovate two existing Toronto Community Housing structures at the intersection of Dundas Street East and Pembroke Street, and turn the space into a pet-friendly, safe space that builds on the best practices of successful shelters and assisted-living facilities dedicated to LGBTIQ2S youth in New York, San Francisco, Boston, Paris and London. Each resident unit will be equipped with a private bathroom and shower, and some of the units will be double occupancy for youth who are partnered. Of the 30 resident units, 25 will be designated as transitional housing, which means homeless youth can stay for a period of up to one year while they work through an individual plan with counsellors toward

long-term, stable housing. Five units will be designed as emergency.

To help on the operational side of the project, Egale has partnered with Fife House and Dixon Hall, two existing supportive housing programs in Toronto.

While we still have a long time to go before we see Egale’s transitional housing facility open its doors, supporters can begin to celebrate a significant turning point for Toronto when it comes to dealing with LGBTIQ2S homeless youth.

You can find out more about Egale’s plans for transitional and emergency housing and support their campaign at egalecentre.ca.

CHRISTOPHER TURNER acted as guest editor for this issue of IN Magazine. He is a Toronto-based writer, editor and lifelong fashionisto with a passion for pop culture and sneakers. Follow him on social media at @Turnstylin.

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HEALTH & WELNESS

HANGOVER HELPERS Head pounding? Here’s how to ease your morning-after symptoms

By Karen Kwan

They say you never regret a workout, but you know what you always will regret? A hangover. The fun times over beers and cocktails don’t seem worth it when you wake up and the world is spinning, you feel like you’re going to lose your lunch (if you had any food in your belly, that is), your head is pounding, and the entire world is brighter and louder than it’s ever been. How to get over that hangover? Put some, or all, of these strategies into play (and keep them in mind the next time you go on a bender).

Chow down on carbs before you drink Ironically, you should prepare for your night out drinking much like you would for running a marathon. Eat a nutritionally balanced meal with carbohydrates—think pasta, potatoes, quinoa—plus a protein and veggies. ”Having food in your belly, especially carbs, slows the absorption of alcohol from your stomach into your bloodstream,” says Kitchener, Ont.-based registered dietitian Andrea D’Ambrosio.

Take B vitamins and hydrate well “Bouncing back from a hangover can be a lot easier if you take B vitamins before you go to bed,” recommends holistic nutritionist Marina Cortese. “These get depleted when you drink but they will aid your liver in processing the alcohol.” Cortese, who owns the healthy grab-and-go spot Oats & Ivy in Toronto, also recommends drinking one or two big glasses of water before bedtime, to help you rehydrate. And the next day, opt for electrolyte-rich foods such as bananas, coconut water or an electrolyte powder. “This will help with that pounding in your head.”

Remedy your overindulgence with homeopathy If you can manage to before you pass out for the night, take two pellets of nux vomica (a homeopathic strychnine tree-based medicine available at health food stores), says Julie Henry. The Toronto-based homeopath recommends repeating this in the morning to help your general ill feelings to subside. For more help with rehydrating your parched system? “Follow with a dose of China officinalis [a homeopathic remedy composed of Peruvian bark]— this will typically take care of the headaches and low energy that you experience as a result of the drinking.”

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Focus on fitness The morning after the night before, get thee to a gym. “You can sweat off a hangover, as the alcohol has already been processed,” says Brent Bishop, owner of Think Fitness Studios in Toronto. And

while exercise will likely make you even more dehydrated than you already are, he points out that a workout will have the benefit of releasing “feel-good” hormones. “This can help you feel better and elevate your mood—just drink lots of water continuously through your workout!” Bishop recommends any exercise that gets your heart rate up moderately and your muscles active so as to stimulate your body to release endorphins.

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KAREN KWAN is a freelance health, travel and lifestyle writer based in Toronto. Follow her on Twitter at @healthswellness and on Instagram at @healthandswellness.

RELATIONSHIPS

LOOKING FOR CLOSURE Obsessing about why things ended might be a way for you to avoid something: grief

By Adam Segal

I was seeing my boyfriend for about eight months and it was really becoming something special. We met through shared friends, slowly got to know each other and always seemed to get along so easily, as we were into many of the same things. I was beginning to think he was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Then a couple of months ago, out of nowhere, he said he realized he wasn’t in love and didn’t want us to go further. I tried hard to find out what he disliked about me in hopes I could change and make things work. He insisted that he liked me a lot, but just didn’t feel strongly enough to commit to an LTR. How do I get some closure when he’s not giving me any info about what went wrong?—Ben

Dear Ben: An unfortunate and widespread notion is that for a relationship to end, someone had to behave like a jerk. Those kinds of breakups, while usually more combative, are easier in some ways because they make sense to us and there’s a story of ‘what went wrong.’ In reality, many relationships end the way yours has: because one or both people didn’t feel that elusive spark.

It sounds like it’s really tough for you to simply believe your ex and to trust that, while he had affection for you, he wasn’t feeling deeply enough to keep things going. There can be helplessness we feel when no one’s at fault and, instead, the chemistry simply doesn’t add up. We want to zero in on some kind of personal shortcoming: That way we have some control (or the illusion of control). If he thought you were a couch potato, you could join a gay badminton league; if he thought you were too cranky in the morning, you could meditate. Without a list of criticisms, how are you to wrap your head around this split?

All of your obsessing about ‘why’ things ended, while exhausting, might be a way for you to avoid something: grief. This guy was really meaningful to you and it’s so painful that he’s opted out. You will have to give yourself some time to actually feel and move through this loss—there’s no way around that. I’m not suggesting that you’ve been a perfect boyfriend, and it absolutely makes sense to reflect on your time together. But it sounds like you are spinning your wheels and determined to pin down what has made you so intrinsically unlovable in some way. You weren’t the right fit for this guy and that really sucks, but it doesn’t mean you need to overhaul your personality in hopes of being every man’s dreamboat. Now is the time to be hurt and disappointed until that lifts (and it will) so that you are available for something better.

ADAM SEGAL, writer and therapist, works in private practice in downtown Toronto. Ask him your relationship or mental-health questions @relationship@inmagazine.ca.

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WHEELS

TAKE PRIDE IN THESE TOPLESS RIDES Storm forward in one of these hot convertibles

By Casey Williams

You don’t need a parade float to show your pride, strip off your top, or show your stuff. Naughty boy, I’m talking about a hot convertible. You can take it home, soap it up, wash it down, and enjoy a date that lasts for years. Make eyes at one of these:

Chevy Camaro Convertible Beauty and brawn combine under open skies. Get the Camaro Convertible with Apple CarPlay, 4G LTE Wi-Fi hotspot, rear vision camera and leather-wrapped flat-bottom steering wheel. Engines include a 455 horsepower (336 kW) V8 in the SS model, 275 horsepower (205 kW) 2.0-litre turbo-four, or 335 horsepower (250 kW) 3.6-litre V6. Shift with a six-speed manual or eight-speed automatic transmission.

Press the pedal and go! Base price: $38,570 Mazda MX-5 Miata If a classic roadster gets you stoked, you’ll crave the new MX-5. Sexier than ever, the car would be killer to weave down California’s Pacific Coast Highway—or curvy Ontario back roads. Rev the 155 horsepower (116 kW) four-cylinder engine, best enjoyed with a six-speed manual transmission. Get it with lane departure warning, blind spot alert, rear cross-traffic assist and Bose audio. Flip the top, grab a gear, and enjoy. Base price: $31,900 Fiat 124 Take the new Mazda Miata, restyle it with classic Fiat 124 cues, and you have the Italian automaker’s Japanese-built beauty. It’s a case of the student becoming the teacher, distinguished by Fiat’s 160 horsepower (119 kW) turbocharged 1.4-litre engine. Interiors are virtually identical to Miata’s, but refined with padded dash coverings, blind spot monitoring and backup camera. Bose audio rocks it! Sales begin later this year; it will be worth the wait. Base price: est. $32,000

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Mercedes-Benz C-Class Cabriolet Launching this summer is a drop-top C-Class, able to drop top even when you’re driving up to 50 km/h. Billed as an open-air car for 365 days per year, it features Mercedes’ AirScarf neck heating and AirCap draft stop system. It will be available with AirMatic air suspension and nine-speed automatic transmission. Choose between 241 horsepower (180 kW) turbo-four and 362 horsepower (270 kW) V6 engines. Expect all the latest infotainment and crash avoidance systems. Base price: TBA

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CASEY WILLIAMS is a contributing writer for Gaywheels.com. He contributes to the New York-based LGBT magazine Metrosource and the Chicago Tribune. He and his husband live in Indianapolis, where Williams contributes videos and reviews to wfyi.org, the area’s PBS/NPR station.

IN MAGAZINE

ON THE TOWN

SCENES FROM THE PARTY CIRCUT

by Michael Pihach

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IN Magazine Community Networking Pride Preview Event at Urban Gallery Photos by Mitchel Raphael 1: Jordan, Talin Maltepe, James Fowlerg, 2: Wayne Abel, Patricia Salib, Calvin Hambrook, Woodrow Monteiro, Joel Ducharme, Reggie Lanuza, 3: Chantelois, Marcelo Gowi.

Inside Out Launch at St. James Cathedral Center 4: Brad Campbell, Winnie Luk, Philip Wong, 5: Craig Dominic, 6: Doug Kerr, Michael Went, 7: Rosalind Harvey, Rhonda Fromstein, 8: Nancy Hastings, Graham Campbell.

Snap! at Bram & Bluma Appel Salon 9: Dan Thompson, David Batko, 10: Kimberley Newport-Mimran, Joe Mimran, Robert Dixon, Jason Patterson, 11: Kevin Pennant, Biko Beauttah, 12: Travis Philip, Peyman Kamrani, William Grange.

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STRIKE A POSE

THE TRUTH ABOUT POSING Twenty-five years after Madonna’s film Truth or Dare, dancers open up in new doc

By Philip Tetro

JUNE 2016

Truth or Dare. A game that’s synonymous with hormone-laden teenagers at parties who are looking to kiss a boy or girl they've had a crush on since 7th grade. It is also the name of Alek Keshishian’s 1991 behind-the-scenes film documenting Madonna’s Blond Ambition World Tour, featuring a plethora of (mostly) gay male dancers.

Truth or Dare shows platinum blonde Madonna commanding the stage during the most commercially successful period of her career.

But Keshishian also documented the behind-the-scenes lives of Madonna’s harem of young dancers. The troupe—Luis Camacho and Jose Gutierez (Jose & Luis), Oliver Crumes, Salim “Slam” Gauwloos, Kevin Stea, Gabriel Trupin and Carlton Wilborn—were all recruited from open auditions in Los Angeles and New York, and their stories became entertainment for the masses when the documentary was released the following year. Six of the seven dancers were gay. They were good-looking and witty, and they 18

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danced up a storm vogueing on stage half-naked with the biggest pop star on the planet.

As a gay boy who was heavily influenced by Truth or Dare, I think it is safe to say that I worshipped these men, who were the first openly gay men I had ever seen on the big screen. They were so free and open with their stories, and they hung out with Madonna.

They became idols to me—and, I imagine, to a lot of young gay boys around the globe.

Truth or Dare was groundbreaking—a mainstream film that featured the Gay Pride parade in New York City and a scene of two gay men kissing? This is a group of gay men that impacted a generation of gay men. But what became of those seven male dancers made famous by the tour and Truth or Dare?

Strike a Pose; top row: Salim Gauwloos, Oliver Crumes, Carlton Wilborn, Kevin Stea. bottom row: Luis Camacho, Jose Gutierez (photo by Linda Posnick)

Well, a new film answers those lingering fanboy questions. Strike a Pose is a new documentary chronicling the lives of the surviving dancers since their Blond Ambition days. Co-directed by Reijer Zwaan and Ester Gould, the documentary premiered at the Berlin Film Festival in mid-February, had its US premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival in April and played at Toronto’s Hot Docs Festival last month. There’s no official date yet for a wide release, but the film continues to travel the international film festival circuit.

Madonna does not appear in the film. Instead, her former backup dancers take centre stage. Gould told audiences in Toronto that she and Zwaan didn’t want Strike a Pose to be “a trip down memory lane.” And it’s not. But it is an interesting next chapter.

Twenty-five years later, the dancers share their own stories about life during the legendary tour and how they each reinvented their

lives once their time in Madonna’s spotlight was over. Many of them struggled with their newfound fame, falling into isolation and depression. There are stories of lawsuits and homelessness.

Some struggled with drug and alcohol addiction.

Strike A Pose also reveals that three of the seven dancers were diagnosed with HIV prior to the tour but kept their conditions a secret, even from Madonna, who has been a long-time vocal advocate for HIV/AIDS awareness. One of them, Gabriel Trupin, died of an AIDS-related illness in 1995 at the age of 26.

It’s an emotional journey for fans and for the dancers when the remaining six are finally reunited. Their lives have changed and they’re still chasing their dreams. Thankfully, so am I.

PHILIP TETRO is a media and television personality who is known for his love of Madonna, cheap red wine and expressing himself unabashedly on social media. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @PhilipTetro.

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RUFUS DOES JUDY

MUCH ADO ABOUT RUFUS Rufus Wainwright isn’t a ‘prima donna’—he was just born to play one

By Nelson Branco

He’s one of Canada’s foremost musical and performance artists.

Which is why it’s stunning that Rufus Wainwright has never won a Grammy Award for his spellbinding work.

That may be rectified next year, thanks to his throwback yet postmodern ode and tribute to William Shakespeare: Take All My Loves: 9 Shakespeare Sonnets. The masterful soundtrack pulls together an electric cast of stars—Helena Bonham Carter, Florence Welch, William Shatner and Carrie Fisher—to stage Wainwright’s trademark operatic-rock sound in an adaptation of the Bard’s works.

And just like any great Shakespeare work, the album plays with sly, ironic and accidental timing: It dropped on the 400th anniversary of the Bard’s death this past April.

In addition, the Juno winner is recreating his critically acclaimed masterpiece—his tribute to Judy Garland’s 1961 sold-out concert at Carnegie Hall—for its Canadian premiere in Toronto during Luminato in conjunction with Pride Month on June 23 and 24. The New York Times said of his tour-de-force performance: “Not even Madonna has attempted anything so ambitious.”

Born in Rhineback, New York, to iconic folk singers Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III, the 42-year-old considers himself just as much Canadian as American, since he grew up in Montreal.

IN Magazine caught up with the gay superstar to chat about his obsession with Judy, why he’s pro-Donald Trump and whether Pride is still relevant.

JUNE 2016

You’re performing your Rufus Does Judy show, which is rare.

Why now? And by the way, thank you!

One of the main perks of doing the show years ago was that afterwards I noticed a real improvement in my singing. Whether it was breath control, lyrics, intonation or pronunciation … doing that concert really forced me to rein in and hone in my voice. So I wanted to restage it to see how my old voice is faring [laughs]! It becomes kind of a litmus test of where I am vocally.

Why does Judy Garland still resonate with audiences after all these years?

I still think Judy is one of the greatest singers and movie stars who ever lived. I will say that before I did the Judy show, many years 20

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ago, I was much more possessed by her. It was almost like I needed an exorcist or something [laughs]! I would stay up late watching her Vincente Minnelli films. Yes, my love for her was a bit over the top. When I did the show initially, it was to get her out of my system, frankly. But now she’s back. I’ll always love Judy but I needed a break from her for a little bit. She’s intense.

What’s it like working with your hubby Jörn Weisbrodt, who is the artistic director of the Luminato Festival, on Rufus Does Judy?

I’m so proud of him and what he’s been able to do with the festival over the years. For any musicians out there, I highly recommend marrying someone who is on the other side of the professional fence. You need someone who can support you artistically in these shark-infested waters. It’s a great business partnership as well as a great marriage.

It’s just too bad about his looks!

I know, right? [Laughs] What was the genesis of this industry-defying album, Take All My Loves: 9 Shakespeare Sonnets? Not a lot of artists today have the autonomy or swagger to get away with such a unique passion project with such historic roots.

I didn’t pitch it; it was pitched to me. I lead a very gifted existence [laughs]. The fact the album was released in April on the 400th anniversary of William Shakespeare’s death speaks to the fact that none of this album was planned out. Many years ago, I wrote some of the sonnets … and a few years later, people wanted to listen to them. Needless to say, at a certain point, I said, “We have all these songs here; we should make a record.” There’s a weird cosmic element to this project—which is not surprising with Shakespeare.

What do you think Shakespeare would think of the record?

No one’s asked me that yet! I think he would be pleasantly surprised.

He would enjoy at least one of the pieces because there is such a variety to choose from, whether you’re an opera or hard-rock fan.

There’s something for everyone.

Why did you cast a slew of stars on the album?

I always knew I wanted to have a lot of guests on it because the heart of the record is half classical and half pop. If I was going to

Photo by Matthew Welch/ Deutsche Grammophon

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do the classical bits, since these sonnets are poems, we realized the poems should be spoken first. The more you hear them, the more they fit in your subconscious. It helps the listener understand the words. William Shatner is my producer’s neighbour, so we literally walked over to his house and recorded him. After that, one star led to another … and it became a huge, mixed jamboree of a production.

Since Rufus Does Judy is premiering during Pride Month, let’s talk gay politics. Do you miss the glory days of the queer community back in the ’80s and ’90s—even though many of us had to endure the deaths of our loved ones due to the AIDS epidemic and a lack of human rights?

What I miss the most about the community are the days without social media, smartphones and Grindr. Used to be, when you went out at night to bars or clubs, it was an event. You went out and didn’t know what would happen. You spent all week preparing to go out on the weekend. You also had performers stage these spectacular shows. Now, it seems like the gay world’s an accident.

Yes, you might pop into a gay bar or club now and see something interesting, but it’s rare. I miss the attention paid to the nightlife back in those days.

Let’s talk about Pride. It began as a political revolt and march, but now it’s evolved into a corporate-sponsored, mainstream spectacle. Is it still relevant? Wasn’t the point not to have Pride one day? Thoughts?

Honestly, there were a couple of years where I was over the self-aggrandizement and also the commercial overtones of the whole situation. That being said, there does seem to be a very real backlash in the darker parts of the nation. I’m primarily speaking about the US and throughout the developing world. Homophobia is brewing up again. In the US, you have major human rights issues being fought again in North Carolina and Mississippi, for example.

The fight isn’t over—we’re just in mid-battle.

Trump is a miracle: he’s dismantling the GOP brilliantly.

Oh, I am pro-Trump, believe me! Keep going, Trump!

Living in Toronto, what are some of your fave places or things?

I love the cuisine in Toronto. My favourite restaurant is the Harbord Room. And also the artistic venues. Toronto has two of the greatest theatre experiences in Canada at Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts and Massey Hall, the latter being the greatest space for music in our country. I love the Chinese food in Toronto.

Listen, I eat a lot these days—I’m over 40 now! [laughs]!

Social media: good or bad?

It’s interesting. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve gotten in contact with a lot of high school friends. I do feel strongly that the best thing for me at some point is not to have an iPhone or computer for a month. I think it would be amazing. I’m pretty cynical: I don’t think social media and technology are very healthy.

Do you binge-watch?

I’m a Rachel Maddow addict. Every night, Rachel tucks me into bed at midnight. There’s nothing like being tucked in at night by an intelligent lesbian [laughs]!

Would you ever consider an acting career à la Judy?

If I were forced to, maybe. It’s not high on my priority list. I have trouble portraying myself, to be honest!

Canada seems to be having a moment with music right now.

You must be proud.

Canada’s always been on the forefront of music, at least for all my life. I hold that dear because it is really understood in the US, Europe and the Far East that we’re power players, which is great!

You were born to famous parents; do you think talent is nature or nurture? Or is it just the luck of the draw?

I think it just comes down to practice [laughs]! All I know is that—whether it’s nature or nurture—is that all of it’s irrelevant.

It’s really more about the time you invest in your career. It’s 10 per cent talent and nurture, and 90 per cent work.

JUNE 2016

Is the young gay community (*cough* millennials) becoming increasingly unaware of our gay history? The other day, I had to explain to a gay in his mid-20s who Oscar Wilde was.

In contrast, members of the black community are aware of their Malcolm Xs and Martin Luther Kings. That’s why I think projects like yours are very important.

I think it’s very split. There’s a side of the young gay community that is incredibly ignorant and dense. They’re just along for the ride—which is infuriating to see. But on the other side of that demo, there is a generation that is so much more advanced than we ever were on so many issues. From both gay or world history, they know what’s up. We’re splintered; there’s a wide gap out there, whereas in the past we were more united.

You live in the US and Canada—what’s that dichotomy like?

In Canada, we’ve fully realized the gay community as a part of our country, while America is struggling despite the Supreme Court of the United States passing same-sex marriage federally.

I know. It’s like, once you get one side on track, the other side unravels [laughs]! Even though we had Obama, we had [former Prime Minister] Stephen Harper. Now, it’s reversed: We have Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and god knows who down south! It isn’t clear with Donald Trump in the running.

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NELSON BRANCO is the Editor of 24 Hours Toronto newspaper. As a contributing editor, he’s penned

IN MAGAZINE pieces for magazines like Hello Canada, People, TV Guide and online sites like Huffington Post. He’s also worked as a TV producer for Breakfast TV, The Marilyn Denis Show, CTV News and Sun News Network.

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COVER

AYDIAN DOWLING’S INCREDIBLE JOURNEY This month, Aydian Dowling becomes the first transgender man to grace IN’s cover – read on for more on his inspirational journey

By Courtney Hardwick

Since the day he found out he had a real shot at winning the Men’s Health 2015 Ultimate Guy competition, to say Aydian Dowling has been a busy guy would be an understatement. At 28 years old, Dowling has become one of the most recognizable faces not only in the female-to-male trans world, but as part of the LGBT community as a whole.

He’s headed to Toronto (his first visit to Canada) for this year’s Pride parade, which takes place on July 3, thanks to being named 2016’s International Grand Marshal. In previous years, the position has been held by Celina Jaitly and Anna Rekhviashvili, and the New Yorker is ecstatic to be a part of Canada’s Pride festivities this year. “It’s exciting to know that the work I do is reaching past the 50 states. That’s really exciting and super-motivating,” he told IN Magazine.

JUNE 2016

After coming out as transgender in 2009 (he was out as a lesbian before that), Dowling started chronicling his journey on his YouTube channel, A Lions Fear. Now the channel, which has almost 35,000 subscribers, includes hundreds of videos documenting his day-to-day experiences, thoughts and even some spoken-word poetry.

They touch on everything from a typical leg day at the gym to his views on transgender issues like the public washroom debate, to overcoming his fear of playing sports as a transgender man.

For transgender men like Dowling, being able to look in the mirror and see the person they feel like on the inside is a lifelong journey. Unlike many transgender people, growing up Dowling didn’t realize exactly what was missing until he was around 20.

During an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show last year, he talked about the moment it clicked that maybe he wasn’t really a lesbian; maybe he was actually male. He credits an ex-girlfriend’s seemingly random question—“Have you ever thought about being a boy?”—with sparking his interest in finding out more about what it meant to be transgender. And he hasn’t looked back since.

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When the time came to actually tell his friends and family about his revelation, he was lucky to have a lot of support, even if many of the people in his life didn’t really understand what he meant when he said he felt like he was a guy. “When I came out, it was mostly confusion. Like wanting to accept, but not really knowing what it was,” Dowling told IN. His mother specifically was worried about how he would be treated as a transgender person. “I think she was more concerned with my safety, because being a nurse she’d seen the bad side of being transgender. You know, where they’re coming into the ER and she sees the reactions of the doctors and the other nurses when they think a patient is a woman but they cut open the clothes and find a penis. She heard what was said behind the curtain.”

As a nurse, his mother was also very focused on the medical side of what it meant to transition. When Dowling was first starting his transition process, he had to go to a therapist and be diagnosed with gender identity disorder before he could begin hormone replacement therapy. But the day he actually started testosterone (or T) was a big deal. He has an entire video dedicated to the day he picked up his prescription and went to the doctor to learn the process of injecting himself—and you can see his excitement in the way he holds up his prescription for the camera.

When he first came out, Dowling mostly turned to YouTube for answers to his questions about what transitioning really entailed.

But the first-hand information from other trans men that was available online was limited. “There was a very small trans male community. And there were eight or nine popular guys. Once they would transition and start being able to pass, they would stop making videos and just kind of disappear. And then six months later, all their videos would disappear and you’d never hear about them again,” Dowling told IN. “There wasn’t much out there, so that’s what motivated me to make videos, because I was kind of inspired by these other guys, but I still felt like there wasn’t

Photos by Brian Davies

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COVER enough information out there. So I wanted to help provide more information about being a transgender male.”

Transitioning from female to male comes with plenty of physical struggles. Hormone therapy is an essential part of the process since it stimulates the growth of facial and body hair, causes the vocal cords to thicken (resulting in a deeper voice), and changes the way body fat distributes itself (less fat around the hips and thighs, for example). For most transgender people, male or female, physical appearance is a huge step towards becoming more comfortable in their own skin. But hormones can only take them so far.

JUNE 2016

Dowling underwent top surgery—or a subcutaneous mastectomy—in 2012, almost three years after starting T. This surgery is the number one procedure sought by transgender men, for obvious reasons—it allows for a more masculine appearance and eliminates the need for daily “binding,” the process of wrapping breasts to make them appear smaller or non-existent.

It was Dowling’s experience with top surgery that led to the inspiration for his clothing line, Point5cc. He started the company in 2011 to help raise money for his own surgery and has since kept it going as a way to give back to the community. The company developed the first-ever binder exchange program, which helps find a quality chest compression garment for transgender men

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who wouldn’t be able to get one otherwise. It also hosts an annual Transgender Surgery Fund that raises money to put towards surgery for transgender-identifying men and women.

As well, the company is about to add a non-profit organization called Point of Pride to its ranks; this will allow for more donations and give Dowling the chance to keep giving back to the community that helped him get to where he is today.

Fitness is another thing that has been a huge part of Dowling’s life ever since he came out as transgender. “I couldn’t get on hormones right away. So I knew that if I wanted to look more masculine and feel better about my body, I could start working out. Working out made me feel empowered and strong in my masculinity,” he explained to IN. “I developed a better relationship with my body.

When you’re working out, you’re looking in the mirror and watching your body change.”

Exercise is something he had control over throughout the slow process of transitioning, and he stuck with it even though he had plenty of insecurities and days where all he did was compare himself to other men at the gym.

That attitude was what eventually led him to enter the Men’s Health Ultimate Guy competition last year. “I wanted to show other trans

men that even though we’re trans and we’re not biological men, there’s no reason we can’t try out for these competitions and we can’t be named the Ultimate Guy,” Dowling told IN. He never expected such a positive response, but as the votes kept rolling in, it started to become apparent that he might be the first-ever transgender man on the cover of Men’s Health.

For Dowling, fitness is now a lifestyle. It helped get him through the body dysmorphia he felt before and during his transition, and he has no plans to slow down any time soon. In addition to his main YouTube channel, Dowling also started Beefheads Fitness, a channel dedicated to fitness advice specifically for people transitioning from female to male.

Dowling entered the contest to make a point: that a trans guy is every bit as much of a man as one who is born with the right hormones and physical features. “The thought of actually ending up on the cover seemed pretty far-fetched,” he said. “I didn’t think it would actually happen.” Although he didn’t end up winning the title of Ultimate Guy, he did make it into the top five, joining the other finalists on the cover of a Special Reader’s Edition. Not bad for a guy who just entered to prove that he could.

His biggest piece of advice for trans men who are just starting out on their journey and feel discouraged and frustrated by how slow the process can be? Slow down and appreciate every step, because there’s no going back. It might seem like there’s a big rush to get to the point where you can “pass” as a man, but once that happens, you’re just another face in the crowd. Instead, try to experience every change as much as you can. As Dowling puts it, “I used to be able to walk into a room and everyone knew I was a lesbian.

Now I’m just another average white guy.” Of course, none of his 107,000 Instagram followers would call him average, and neither would the thousands of people who voted for him to be on the cover of Men’s Health.

Since that Ultimate Guy competition, Dowling has been interviewed and featured by a variety of magazines including Gay Times and FTM, where he recreated Adam Levine’s almost-nude photo shoot from Cosmopolitan UK. Jason Robert Ballard, the creator of FTM magazine, told Huffington Post, “We by no means mean to say that this is what all transgender males look like, but this is what one of us looks like and it’s no different from our cisgender counterparts.”

For Dowling’s part, he said, “Some areas of my body used to remind me of everything I’m not. Now they represent everything I am.”

Dowling knows he’s just one version of what a trans guy can look like, but his journey has been about more than looking the way he wants to look. He’s committed to helping other trans guys in any way he can, because everyone deserves to have the chance to be on the outside who they feel they are on the inside.

COURTNEY HARDWICK is a Toronto-based freelance writer. Her work has appeared online at AmongMen, Complex Canada, Elle Canada and TheBolde.

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DARK SUMMER NIGHTS Dress for when the sun goes down with summer styles that will look good in any light

JUNE 2016

Photographer/Stylist: Danyl Geneciran Makeup Artist: Mari Susuda Hairstylist: Akihisa Yamaguchi Model: Florian Neuville @ NY Model Management

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Cardigan: BELLEROSE Shirt: CADET Pants: VERSACE 29

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FASHION Jacket: CADET Sweater: BELLEROSE Pants: CHEVALIER HOMME 31

FASHION JUNE 2016

Jacket: BLK DNM Shirt: CADET Pants: MR. TURK Shoes: MANOLO BLAHNIK

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Shirt: WOOYOUNGMI Jacket: BEECHERS BROOK Pants: THEORY

Scarf: CHEVALIER HOMME Coat: BURBERRY Pants: CADET Shoes: MANOLO BLAHNIK

Jacket: ACNE STUDIOS Shirt: BLK DNM Bow tie: MOSCHINO Pants: VALENTINO

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JUNE 2016

On Riley (left): Sweater: CHRISTOPHER BATES Vest: HENDRIXROE Jeans: NAKED & FAMOUS On Aidan (right): Sweater: THEORY Vest: HENDRIXROE Pants: CHRISTOPHER BATES

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35

SEXSHOOTERS

LOVE, SEX AND MUSIC A quickie with sexy London DJ duo SexShooters

by Christopher Turner

Is Toronto ready for a serious dose of music and muscles? London, England’s hottest DJ duo, real-life couple David Hart and Claudio Girardi, will be heating up the annual outdoor party at Ryerson University, which has been the closing event of The 519’s Green Space Festival during Toronto Pride celebrations for the past eight years.

But before this sexy duo takes over the Pride-party staple on Sunday, July 3, we caught up with them to find out if they’ve ever played Canada, what makes a perfect party and what their favourite track is right now. Here’s the 411: Since forming in 2013, SexShooters have taken over some of the biggest clubs around the world, playing “sexed-up mixes” of all genres of house from Deep Tech to Tribal. But they’ve never been to Canada.

“We are super-excited, as Canada is one of the few countries we are still yet to visit,” Hart tells IN Magazine. “Everyone we have spoken to has said we are going to have a blast and that Toronto Pride is up there with the best Pride events in the world!”

“We’ve heard so much good stuff about Toronto, so honestly we can’t wait,” Girardi says.

The pair met at a party in London. Back then Hart was working as a photographer and Girardi worked as an actor. Their first date was a hit. Girardi moved in after their second date.

“We soon realized that we did not want to be apart and that our then-careers would get in the way, so we put our mutual love for music together and taught ourselves to DJ,” Girardi says.

And so, SexShooters was born.

Since teaming up they’ve been packing lightly (seriously … just a backpack each) and have been travelling the globe magnetizing dance floors. Sure, they’ve played throughout the UK, but they’ve also played gigs in Australia and throughout America, and spent time dancing all night long in exotic places like Shanghai and Singapore. They know how to party.

But what makes a perfect party for the boys?

“One where we are playing,” Hart jokes.

Girardi quickly adds, “Anywhere there are hot boys and girls who are up for a good time and who completely give in to our music.”

JUNE 2016

Give in to their music. They mean it. The boys are known for their high-energy, dirty sex mixes that give new life to familiar dance floor tunes. They’re also known for working the crowds with a little of their steamy chemistry from behind the decks.

Speaking of decks and, because you wanna know what to expect to hear … When asked what their favourite track is right now, the boys are quick to answer in unison: Lucas Nord featuring Tove Lo— Run On Love (Dave Aude Club Mix).

CHRISTOPHER TURNER acted as guest editor for this issue of IN Magazine. He is a Toronto-based writer, editor

36and IN lifelong MAGAZINE fashionisto with a passion for pop culture and sneakers. Follow him on social media at @Turnstylin.

Photos by NEONelements

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39

TRAVEL

ISLAND-HOPPING IN TAHITI French Polynesia is embracing its roots, tattoos and all, mixing traditional ways with inventive hospitality. This place knows how to enjoy itself—while totally thrilling you

By Doug Wallace

When you can wake up to mainline a perfect espresso, pop a bonbon into your mouth left over from the night before, then plunge into a crystal-clear lagoon at your doorstep while you wait for breakfast to arrive via canoe, you know you’re in for a red-letter day. This is the essence of French Polynesia, a swath of 118 islands spread out over 2,000 kilometres in the southern Pacific Ocean.

While Marlon Brando and 1970s Hollywood culture may have made Tahiti and her islands famous, the French made it exquisite— and long before Brigitte Bardot and Jacques Brel wandered its shores. With ties reaching back to the mid-1800s, the islands are autonomous, but minded by France as a “collective.” And the mix of ancient Lapita roots and full-on French fabulousness has created a rich and fascinating culture, right down to the double-cheek kissing and the subsidized French cheese. You can also thank France for making French Polynesia one of the most LGBT-friendly places in the Pacific: Same-sex sexual activity is legal; people can get married, adopt children and serve in the military; and anti-discrimination laws and laws concerning gender identity are all on the books.

JUNE 2016

The deep isolation factor is one of the top selling points—something Hawaii, its neighbour to the north, doesn’t offer. Really, if you took

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the American-ness out of Hawaii and replaced it with French-ness, added a dash of exotic class, then took away about a billion tourists, you’d have French Polynesia.

The key to vacationing here is to adopt island-hopping as your main activity, in addition to the snorkelling, swimming with stingrays and black point sharks, cruising the lagoons and eating banana pudding by the bucketful, and just plain sitting on your rear.

No one ever stays in the capital, Papeete: It’s “the city.” Everyone merely flies in, then hops on the 20-minute ferry to the neighbouring island of Moorea, a lush and unhurried nirvana encircled by a small lagoon. And once you’re settled in your over-water bungalow at the Hotel Sofitel Moorea Ia Ora Beach Resort, you can grab a cocktail and stare at Papeete off in the distance, twinkling in the moonlight. The famous over-water rooms are worth the money, even though they don’t look like much from the outside, sun-bleached beyond recognition. Most are quite luxe inside, with aircon and all the comforts of home (if your home has an espresso machine, which it very likely does). With these bungalows, you have the best of all worlds—your room, the water, the shoreline vistas, pretty boats to watch. You can also glimpse the goings-on underneath your room via a Plexiglas window in the cabin floor.

Photos by Doug Wallace

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While in Moorea, make time to walk the hiking trails, climb island peaks, discover secret rivers and ancient maraes or stone religious shrines, and trip to Belvedere Lookout for a stunning view of Secret Mountain, with Cook’s Bay and Opunohu Bay stretched out before you.

You would be remiss to not experience the authenticity of nearby Huahine, a two-island grouping where vacationers get a modern-day Tahitian island experience, a chance to see how real people live.

Rustic and down-to-earth, this is a bit of an artist enclave as well, and home to more than a few French and American ex-pats looking for a simpler, slightly bohemian life. Huahine is also the site where archaeologists have found the oldest carbon-dated remains of pre-Polynesian civilizations, pre-dating Hawaii.

Back to the airport, where 20- and 30-minute flights get you from place to place relatively easily, most for less than $100 one way. You get the complete Polynesian picture this way, and will soon start recognizing fellow passengers—especially the surfers. While there are many family-owned home-stays and hostels on Polynesia is an international surfing destination, something you Huahine, you could also stay at the Maitai Lapita Village, designed will gather early on, as the surfboards tumble onto the baggage specifically with the region’s rich history in mind: bungalows in carousels. Start flirting right away in the airport, because chances the style of canoe huts, architectural details that mimic traditional are good you will see the tussled hair and lithe, tan bodies again Tahitian artwork and motifs, and a small built-in museum full of at your next stop. ancient artifacts, some dating back to 1500 BC. The property is a perfect mix of past and present, with a beautiful infinity pool 44

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that looks out onto the very same view explorer Captain James Cook had in the late 1700s.

Your next destination is Bora Bora, the showpiece, one of the most romantic places in the world. A bigger lagoon here makes for more hotel choices to be sure, but try to sneak a night or two at the Four Seasons—like you need to be coaxed. On top of having the coolest private boats in the lagoon, the hotel is as teeming with opulence as the water is with tropical fish. Speaking of which, a marine biologist works on-site to explain the delicate ecosystem to guests. World-class spa treatments begin with a traditional Maeva foot ritual, which you can follow up with the signature Kahaia Haven body treatment in one of the double treatment rooms, where skin is prepped, exfoliated using natural black pearl powder, then massaged. If you don’t die and go to heaven right then and there, you can watch the sun set from the hotel’s Sunset Bar.

But don’t stop at Bora Bora: Many other experiences are ready to tempt you on the dozens of other Polynesian islands, each tantalizingly different. Try to see as many as you can without selling the farm. There’s even a freighter you can hitch a ride on that will take you all the way out to the Les Marquesas island chain for some real privacy—plus all the exotic adventure you can handle.

How to get there Air Tahiti Nui flies to the capital city, Papeete, from Los Angeles up to five times a week in only eight hours. All inter-island domestic flights are operated by the very similarly named Air Tahiti, which flies to 46 islands in the five archipelagos, as well as to Rarotonga in the Cook Islands. Peak season is from March to October, with May and June being the driest. Avoid the rainy season, from November to January, when it can rain for three weeks straight.

Visit TahitiTourism.com, AirTahitiNui.com and AirTahiti.com.

DOUG WALLACE is the editor and publisher of the new travel resource, www.TravelRight.Today.

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INSIGHT

MUST PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS Friendship remains the lasting gay superpower

By Paul Gallant

Years ago, when Peter Nardi, a professor of sociology at California’s Pitzer College, was headed off to visit London, gay friends told him to contact a gay friend of theirs across the pond. Nardi and the Londoner hit it off and so kept in touch, visiting back and forth. Of course, most queer people will find nothing noteworthy in this—who doesn’t have an anecdote like it? But try substituting “straight” for “gay” and the easy and long-term closeness seems so much more unlikely.

Like fish failing to recognize they’re swimming in water because that’s the only environment they know, most LGBT people fail to see the superpower that really sets them apart from straight people.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not sexual appetite, style, bitchy humour or an appreciation of divas. It’s our knack for friendship, the impressive ability to make it a glowingly essential part of a well-lived life. Same-sex marriage has been the Kim Kardashian in the room of queer North American life for the past 15 years or so, with endless articles, debates and legal battles branding same-sex coupledom as gay life’s apex and distinguishing characteristic. Homo social and queer social friendships have been seriously overlooked and sadly underappreciated. Yet the capacity for meaningful, lasting friendships remains a supreme blessing of being a sexual minority.

JUNE 2016

Same-sex marriage hasn’t been the only culprit to push the beauty of queer friendship out of the spotlight. When the world was more hostile to sexual and gender differences—when sissy boys and diesel dykes couldn’t find camaraderie, solace or perhaps even jobs in straight society—friendship amongst the similarly rejected was often all that was available. Any friends we could get were a singular lifeline. In the 1970 film Boys in the Band, poor self-esteem and twisted co-dependence seemed to be the glue holding the fictional peer group together. The deepest unkindnesses failed to scatter these birds of a feather. Fortunately, we now live in less harrowing times and can make healthier choices, including bonding with straights.

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Do changing times change these bonds?

Our improving status, at least in urban North America, has lightened the demands of queer friendship. We no longer assume that coming out will destroy family bonds, pre-out friendships and make co-workers less congenial. The Internet, too, has eased our isolation (even as Facebook makes friendship quantifiable and competitive, a fresh source of anxiety and judgment). We don’t have to be tucked inside gay spaces like bars, hair salons, arts organizations and Pride celebrations to be appreciated for who we are. A 2015 US study called Homophily, Close Friendship, and Life Satisfaction among Gay, Lesbian, Heterosexual and Bisexual Men and Women found that younger gay and bisexual men, and to some extent bisexual women and older bisexual men, did not conform to gendered expectations that people affiliate primarily with their own gender. “The greater reliance on friends among gay men, lesbians and bisexual men and women has been true of past cohorts due to historical contexts and more prevalent homophobia,” write the researchers. “However, because of the shift toward acceptance of [LGB] individuals, these trends may not persist in present and future cohorts.”

The study also found that LGB friendships were most definitely associated with life satisfaction. Nardi, whom I mentioned earlier and who is the author of the 1999 book Gay Men’s Friendships: Invincible Communities, believes there’s something special about the way queer people, especially gay men, make friends with each other. Sometimes a sexual charge, even if it is never acted upon, provides fuel. We show up for queer gatherings not necessarily to get laid (though that can be true), but to find other men attractive and to be found attractive ourselves. To give and receive the “gay gaze.” It’s not just anticipation. Gay, lesbian and bi people have an astounding capacity to remain friends with past partners; sexual history can bind people together long after phenomena like lesbian bed death set in.

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JUNE 2016

Our chosen families, undefined and unconstrained by law and politics, are not mere surrogates for quarrelsome, estranged or doing-theirbest birth families. Our chosen families can do kinship one better, bringing a sense of adventure that makes life seem bigger, more nurturing and more fascinating. Openness to being a friend of a friend, and then friend of that friend, and being your whole and honest self through this cascading amity is a true blessing. One that straight people can only envy.

LIVE LOVE

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Disclosure is the spark, but reciprocity keeps friendship alive.

Historically, out queer people have been less likely to live in traditional child-centred family situations, so perhaps we have more room in our lives to host out-of-town guests and repay dinner party invitations with our own hospitality. Shared oppression and the trauma of the HIV/AIDS epidemic may make us more likely to stick with each other through hard times. Our gay friends come to our rescue in situations that are unlikely to ever be repaid—that’s family and then some. Tit-for-tat is not a foundation on which our community was built.

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Flaunting gay sensibility can be a way of bringing our whole selves to a relationship. That might include bending gender, exaggerating sexual obsession or generally camping it up. But even in this rainbow-tinted age, this can be risky with straight peers. Sometimes Nardi and his partner will invite over friends: a gay couple and a straight couple. “It’s a very different dynamic than if it was six gay men. It changes what people say and the quips people make,” he says.

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Shared sensibility has perhaps become a less important queer social currency. “Friends of Dorothy” traded on affection for Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz, not just as a code to disclose sexual orientation but also to create an instant conversational topic. Many millennial queers resent being accused of “gay taste,” brandishing their varied Spotify playlists as evidence that they will not be defined by their sexual orientation. That makes for a cohort that’s too inclusive (“I love Game of Thrones”) or too exclusive (“My favourite album is Bonobo’s Black Sands”) to easily build amity.

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Making the connection But desire is not the only bonfire gay people gather around. Nardi sees friendship as built on two things: disclosure and reciprocity.

When gay, bi and trans people meet each other, one of our first topics of conversation is not the weather or a baseball team or cars—oh-so-straight topics one can hide true feelings behind—but disclosure of how and when we came out. No matter how often we repeat it, our coming-out story is a fundamentally intimate disclosure. “When two straight men meet, they don’t talk about the first time they had sex with a woman. Almost by default, gay men are already at another level of friendship than other people have, even in the most superficial situations like a bar,” says Nardi.

COUR

Visit our new locations at Yonge & St. Joseph and Church & Wellesley

PAUL GALLANT is a Toronto-based writer and editor who writes about travel, innovation, city building, social issues particularly LGBT issues and business for a variety of national and international publications. He’s done time as lead editor at the loop magazine in Vancouver, Xtra and fab in Toronto and is currently development editor at Yongestreetmedia.ca. ® / ™ Trademark(s) of Royal Bank of Canada.

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105849 (05/2016)

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WORKPLACES TO CONSIDER CELEBRATING DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION IN THE WORKPLACE.

For information on the WORKPLACES TO CONSIDER PROGRAM, contact: info@inmagazine.ca IN PARTNERSHIP WITH

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FLASHBACK JUNE 1969 IN LGBT HISTORY A violent uprising known as the Stonewall Riots would later be credited as a major turning point in the gay rights movement

JUNE 2016

In the early hours of June 28, 1969, in New York’s Greenwich Village, a police raid of the Mafia-run Stonewall Inn—a gay bar at 51 Christopher Street—turned violent. New York’s gay community had grown weary of the police department targeting gay clubs, so when officers cleared out the popular bar, roughing up patrons and arresting Stonewall employees for selling liquor without a licence, patrons and local sympathizers began to fight back. Police reinforcement arrived, but as word of the protest spread, gay men and women from other boroughs joined the angry patrons, and days of spontaneous, often violent, demonstrations broke out across the city.

The Stonewall Riots are largely regarded as a catalyst for the LGBT movement for civil rights. Today, Gay Pride events are held annually around the world towards the end of June to mark the Stonewall riots.

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