Issue 8052

THE

INQUIRER £1 | Issue 8052 | 4 February 2023

The voice of British and Irish Unitarians and Free Christians

‘But, where are you really from?’

Inside this issue…

Protesting for the right to protest Honouring Mary Seacole All you need is love (and marriage)

www.inquirer.org.uk

Recognising the racism within

Jacqueline Woodman on asking the difficult questions

THE

INQUIRER The Unitarian and Free Christian Paper Established in 1842, The Inquirer is the oldest nonconformist religious newspaper.

“To promote a free and inquiring religion through the worship of God and the celebration of life; the service of humanity and respect for all creation; and the upholding of the liberal Christian tradition.”

From the Object passed at the General Assembly of the Unitarian and Free Christian Churches 2001 The Inquirer is published fortnightly by The Inquirer Publishing Company (2004), Registered Charity 1101039.

Editor: M Colleen Burns MA 46A Newmarket Editor: M ColleenRoad, BurnsCringleford, MA Norwich NR4Newmarket 46A 6UF T: 01603 Road, 505281 Cringleford, Norwich E: inquirer@btinternet.com NR4 6UF T: 01603 505281 Proofreader: E: inquirer@btinternet.com Sarah Reynolds Cover: Proofreader: Sarah Reynolds Cover: Shutterstock photo Articles express the views of their writers.

Submissions are welcome and may be edited for content and length. They should be emailed or typed and should be the writer’s original work or be attributed appropriately.

Annual subscriptions are £46 £38 with discounts for bulk orders. Cheques payable to ‘The Inquirer’.

Write to: Steven Bisby 71 Earlesmere Avenue, Balby, Doncaster, DN4 0QD T: 07764 486711 E: admin@inquirer.org.uk Advertise for £6 per column cm, on 3-col page, plus VAT or £7.50 per col cm, on a 2-col page.

A one-page supplement is £200. One column on a 2-col page is £100, on a 3-col page, £75.

A5 fliers may be inserted for £100 plus VAT. Contact the editor for details.

Births, marriages and deaths: 50p a word + VAT. Find out more about Unitarians The General Assembly, Essex Hall 1-6 Essex Street, London WC2R 3HY T: 0207 2402384 E: info@unitarian.org.uk

www.unitarian.org.uk

Inquiring Words…

We are here to love – to love each other, to love our frail, wounded selves, to love our broken world, and to love its suffering people.

Let us worship so that love will flow.

Cliff Reed, from Worship Words

A long way to India Editor’s view: Sometimes the simplest questions work best I was introduced to the man who would later become my husband in a bar one night in New York and we got chatting.

I thought he was handsome. He had dark eyes and brown skin and spoke with a slight English accent. I was curious.

I realised, somehow, that it could be insulting to ask him directly where he was from. So, I employed all of my journalist’s skills to ask him all kinds of questions – dropping ones about his background in occasionally. Where did he go to Uni? Boston. Where did he go to high school? London.

Where did his parents live? Oman. It was building up a picture – but I still wanted to know where he grew up.

Eventually, somehow, we got to India. He was born in Delhi and considered that home. I was thrilled. I’d just finished reading the Paul Scott’s Raj Quartet, and wanted badly to go to India. (I learnt later that Aamer’s grand-aunt appeared as Lady Chatterjee in the TV adaptation of the ‘Jewel in the Crown’.)

For many years, I was quietly proud of that conversation – that I never resorted to that minefield question, ‘Where are you from?’ And, when I fessed up and recounted the efforts I went to, Aamer said he hadn’t noticed.

So I might have been a bit smug when the story emerged from Buckingham Palace of Lady Susan Hussey asking Charity Leader (and UK citizen) Ngozi Fulani where she was from. And, I thought back to that night I met Aamer.

In the wake of the palace furore, I listened to a podcast, ‘Off Air’ with Jane Garvey and Fi Glover. The hosts made some points I had not considered. When I met Aamer, I was looking for some common ground, hoping to find a way to connect his background with my experience. It’s something many good conversationalists do. But on the podcast, they pointed out that even with benign intent, seeking information about someone’s background to connect it with our own selves is still an effort to centre the questioner’s experience. It’s a subtle and fine point. But I think I understand.

And there’s a simple solution, suggested by Fi Glover.

Simply say: ‘Tell me about yourself.’

MC Burns

Page 2 | Issue 8052 – 4 February 2023

Jacqueline Woodman writes of subtle acts of aggression and exclusion

But where are you really from?

What is it about this question that has suddenly seemed to jar a nerve in our current multicultural society, when most people of colour (POC) have in the past easily answered what seemed like a reasonable question.

And why should it not be asked? The assumption is that the question is asked out of interest and curiosity – all well-intentioned. The problem arises when the answer is not accepted or believed. Then, it’s followed by another question: ‘But, where are you really from?’

Susan Cousins and Barry Diamond years ago, but today, the questioner in their book, Making Sense of Mimay feel they are being victimised “Why would this type croaggressions have this to say about for being interested in someone this question: ‘This is a challenge to else’s identity? of questioning have your citizenship where the underlyThe Black Lives Matter and ‘Me been acceptable 50 ing message is the implication that Too’ movements have highlighted you don’t belong’. The authors conissues of racism and misogyny which years ago, but today, sider it a form of ‘othering’ based many believed had been dealt by the questioner may on a partial understanding of the the anti-racism and women’s rights patterns and reasons for migration movements of the ‘60s and ‘70s. feel they are being to this country. Furthermore, ‘It is While many of the big ‘isms’ were victimised?” more likely that the instigator of dealt with, many more subtle, and such questioning is hoping to pocket less easily defined attitudes and bethe knowledge to shore up their own haviours stemming from ingrained stereotypes … It may be conscious, societal norms grounded in historiit may be unconscious, but it is not innocent.’ cal racial bias remain.

When I am questioned in this way, it has the effect of The term ‘microaggression’ originated in the early 1970s challenging me to come up with some kind of rapid-fire with the work of Harvard psychiatrist, Chester M Pierce response. I may be caught off guard and find myself unwho applied it to describe insults to Black Americans. Latable to come up with an answer. Many times, when I say: er, it was similarly used for insults directed against women.

‘I’m from Oxford’. This is followed up by: ‘No, but where It is now largely accepted as a way to discuss issues relatare you originally from?’ No amount of column space in ing to discrimination against, offence and exclusion against The Inquirer can adequately tackle my factual answer to any marginalised group. The ‘micro’ bit is not micro at all. this question! Because ‘where I am from’ has ancestral, After the gains of the civil rights movement (and from my ethnic, political, social, religious and intellectual contexts own perspective, the fall of Apartheid in South Africa) which I challenge anyone who does not have an intimate many POC were relieved at the lessening of overt racism. knowledge of Cape Coloured origins in Cape Town, South So these subtler – or ‘micro’ – racist attitudes and behavAfrica to understand based on a one sentence answer. iours seemed small in comparison. Many still argue that However, it is pertinent to address the changing cultural dealing with more subtle acts of exclusion distracts from and sociopolitical landscape that we find ourselves in. Why the larger issues, smacks of heavy-handed thought policwould this type of questioning have been acceptable 50 ing and creates a victim mentality in young people who Continued on page 5 > www.inquirer.org.uk | Page 3

Ed Fordham and Jo James lead efforts to fight for the right to protest

FAO Number 10 Ed Fordham, lay leader at Old Chapel, Great Hucklow has written a letter which was sent to the Prime Minister on 26 January decrying the laws against protest – specifically how they have been applied to arresting climate change demonstrators. Working with the Rev Jo James of Mill Hill Chapel in Leeds, he contacted fellow Unitarians and posted on Facebook pages, seeking signatories.

Ann Howell, the Unitarian General Assembly’s Social Action Officer and Lizzie Kingston Harris, congregation connections lead arranged to have the letter sent to all congregations. Fifty-eight signatures were gathered – many representing congregations across the UK. Ed writes: ‘I am personally proud and delighted that so many in the movement have signed up to take a stand – clearly we will be placing the letter in the post to the Prime Minister, but we also now need to follow this up with a wider campaign.

‘I have agreed to write a short pack for all Chapels and congregations of ways in which they can hear what is going on with this topic, have materials to discuss amongst their members, actions they themselves and the Chapel can take and steps they can adopt to promote outside of their own circles their concerns. We hope that Chapels will be receipt of this within the fortnight.

‘There is a lot to do - but this is, to cite the old saying, a hill upon which I am prepared to die.’

Ed is also asking that congregations or individual Unitarians also send letters and create their own protests by standing with a blank sheet of paper – a gesture used across the world by those without free speech – and forward photographs of the protests to him: Ed.fordham@gmail.com

Letter: The erosion of the fundamental right to protest We write to express our alarm at the lack of action in halting climate change. The warning signs are all around us and the conclusive evidence from scientists and environmentalists is too numerous to cite.

Page 4 | Issue 8052 – 4 February 2023

Shown above: Ed Fordham protests the erosion of free speech.

However, the right to protest has been restricted. Instead of arresting climate change, this government seems more interested in arresting climate change protesters.

It has always been claimed that an anti-protest law would only be used in extremis. However, following a series of laws passed in 2022, we already have climate activists in prison.

How can it be right that protesters are imprisoned for urging the implementation of sensible environmental protections?

Protest and the right to protest is not an abstract art form that takes place in isolation; social impact is precisely the point of protest.

Many of the rights we now cherish – including the vote – were achieved by protest, and history has shown that jailing protesters simply delays change and reflects badly upon the lawmakers.

We call on the government to review this legislation and reflect upon the principles at stake. And please, hasten the protections and measures needed to protect our planet from climate abuse and fossil fuel degradation.

Yours in faith, in tolerance and yes, in protest, Ed Fordham, Lay Leader, Great Hucklow Unitarian Chapel, Derbyshire The Rev Jo James, Minister, Mill Hill Unitarian Chapel, Leeds The Rev Sue Woolley, President of the General Assembly of Unitarian & Free Christian Churches and District Minister, Midland Unitarian Association Liz Slade, Chief Officer, the General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches Four lead signatories plus 54 additional signatories from within and across the movement of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches. They have taken the individual decision to sign this letter in their own name, and the letter cites their role and position within their respective chapel or church community(s). www.inquirer.org.uk | Page 4

‘Oh, but I don’t mean you, dear.’

Shown left: Shutterstock image

Continued from page 3 >

then see microaggressions everywhere.

The current climate does make it hard to talk about sensitive issues – which I find problematic. Cancel culture and no-platforming has driven extreme views underground to fester, instead of being aired in appropriately managed spaces. And, well-meaning organisations and well-intentioned individuals, oblivious to the changing public discourse, are bewildered to find themselves labelled as ‘white privileged’ or ‘institutionally racist’.

Unitarians can provide the space for progress Yet, this is exactly where progressive faith traditions have a crucial role. Where else but in the traditions that challenged convention and asked believers to think, argue and decide for themselves can a space be created where we can talk about the difficult and problematic issues? And, ‘talk’ means having a meaningful conversation with each other; difficult, challenging, painful, sorrowful, joyful, ambiguous and terrifying conversations. It is not a dialogue or a question-and-answer session that is needed, but full conversations, where deep listening leads to understanding and personal connections. I am confident that Unitarian communities are equipped to create these spaces, where each individual is recognised in all their complexity and that the concerns and issues which each individual raises, are given credibility and dignity by accepting that one truth can be viewed from many perspectives. And, of course, kindness and compassion goes a long way in keeping people talking to each other.

Those from the colonies of the former British empire, will have different perspectives from those who colonised and built their social and financial capital on the exploitation of colonies. The British empire may be no more, but the legacy is in the wide social and financial gulf that exists between the descendants of those whose ancestors were exploited and those whose descendants reaped the benefits of that exploitation. This cannot be dismissed.

Many years ago, when attending a Unitarian engagement

group for the first time, one participant said the reason for UK unemployment was, ‘immigrants taking the jobs’. As an immigrant myself, working in the NHS, I pointed out my immigration status to the group. The answer was: ‘Oh, but I don’t mean you dear!’

You may think it strange that I brushed it all aside and remained within the Unitarian fold, but it highlighted what I already mentioned. I was so relieved not to have to deal with the overt racism of the past, that this slight didn’t feel worth bothering about. Perhaps I should have bothered. As that statement was patronising and insulting in almost equal measure!

The book Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions by Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran outlines the complexity of understanding and addressing microaggressions. It also suggests a more serious underlying issue. Firstly, the authors use a much better term called ‘subtle acts of exclusion’ (SAE) which I prefer to ‘microaggression’. They define it as: Subtle insidious and confusing things that people say and do that end up excluding people with marginalised identities. This happens even when for the most part people are not trying to exclude others at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. They may be trying to compliment someone or learn more about a person, or be funny or build closeness. For decades now people have called these slights ‘microaggressions’, but ...we will use the term subtle acts of exclusion (SAE) as a way to better describe and communicate this phenomenon.

Don’t ignore subtle racism To truly understand SAE we must collectively shift both our mindset and our behaviours. It means that I, as a person of colour, now need to think of how I will address the socially aware, well-intentioned Unitarian who says immigrants undermine British workers, or dismisses my ethnic background because I’m so well-spoken, or denies that racism or unconscious bias exists within our community. I have experienced all of these scenarios in 12 years within Continued on page 8 >

Page sponsored by the Hibbert Trust

www.inquirer.org.uk | Page 5

We all have unconscious bias says Danielle Wilson

Confront the racism within ‘In this family, sometimes you are part of the problem rather than part of the solution. And there is a huge level of unconscious bias. The thing with unconscious bias, it is actually no one’s fault. But once it has been pointed out, or identified within yourself, you then need to make it right.

‘It is education. It is awareness. It is a constant work in progress for everybody, including me.’

Duke of Sussex, in the Netflix documentary ‘Harry & Meghan’ Since the start of the Black Lives ‘We can see how you always manMatter movement, some conage to fail up. We can see how “Breathing air into gregations and organisations have you use niceness to make yourself created anti-racist statements/polfeel better about the injustice(s) those innermost fearful icies for their websites and started you’ve witnessed. We can see how thoughts will help each programmes to include people of you have taken positions, created colour. This work might have been positions, skipped over qualificaone of us to diminish done to assure themselves that they tions, and done all manner of systhe power racism has can’t possibly be racist because, tems changes to get what you want after all, they have this policy; they when what you want is whiteness. over our thoughts and have that statement, etc, etc, etc.

We have seen how you manage to feelings.”

But all that work is likely to fall find your voice when you are asked flat, if those concerned continue to to praise the system or enforce the maintain they are ‘not racist’, while system or justify the system.’ operating from their own unconThe white supremacy held by most scious bias. It is not until we individually recognise and white people didn’t happen in a vacuum. There is a genadmit to our own racism (and thus our unconscious bias) erally inherited assumption that white is a superior race. that any sort of change can start to happen.

This view has been reinforced by decades of films, books, Since I’ve been doing anti-racist work, I’ve found an media, news, etc, demonising people of colour and supunwillingness amongst some of us to look at our own porting the (conscious or unconscious) bias that white ‘stuff’. It is hard to admit that we might be racist, that we is best, that the norms of white culture are dominant, have these racist thoughts and feelings. Some of us white and that they should be followed above all else. This is people tend to adhere to the ‘nice white people’ syndrome described well in the Netflix documentary 13th, which is described by Austin Channing Brown in her Substack about the 13th Amendment to the US Constitution, but article: ‘Dear Nice White People’, (excerpted here: covers the demonisation of Black people in media, films, https://tinyurl.com/ChanningBrown) books, etc. You have only to look at the damage done by ‘You see, Nice White People, you have believed your lie colonisation all over the world where cultures and practiclonger than anyone else’, she says. ‘You have believed es ‘other’ than those of the white conquerors were considthat you could maintain the status quo, reap the benefits ered heathen, barbaric, less valid, etc. thereof, and if you are nice to people of colour perhaps As Channing Brown says, it is not enough to be a ‘nice they won’t notice. But we can see you. We can see you white person’. better than you can.

Salving one’s white conscience by being nice, by noting Page 6 | Issue 8052 – 4 February 2023

Page sponsored by the Hibbert Trust

“There is a generally inherited assumption that white is a superior race. This view has been reinforced by decades of films, books, media, news, etc, demonising people of colour.”

Shown left: Pixabay photo by Firentis

the presence of black friends in your life, saying that you don’t ‘see’ colour or that you’re kind to Black shopkeepers, or adopting other defensive postures, is not only naïve, but also indicative of unconscious bias. How many times have you walked down the street, noticed a person of colour and closed your hand on your backpack or handbag or wallet – consciously or unconsciously? How many times have you been in an unfamiliar neighbourhood, in your car, and unthinkingly locked the car doors? How many times have you put your hand over your handbag when alone in a lift with a person of colour? Or, how many times have you noticed a person of colour and drawn conclusions about their background, their education or career?

We all have unconscious bias This is unconscious bias. And even if you have not thought or felt any of the above, this does not mean that you are not racist or do not have unconscious bias. Probably the most important element of recognising unconscious bias is knowing that we all experience it/are subject to it. But it is in the flagging up of that bias, bringing the dark into the light, breathing air into those innermost fearful thoughts that will help each one of us to diminish the power racism has over our thoughts and feelings.

I am not proud of the racist thoughts and feelings that I’ve had. But when I share them, I hope it encourages others to do so as well. Also, it lightens the burden of keeping these ugly thoughts and feelings to myself.

This is not meant as a tool to beat oneself up with, it is meant to bring light to these dark spaces, to get current and real.

In November, Lady Susan Hussey, a Buckingham Palace Lady in Waiting asked Charity Leader Ngozi Fulani, ‘But where are you really from?’ That was the first instance where I recognised unconscious bias in action. But, at that time, I was not familiar with the phrase. Both that incident (which later brought an apology from the palace) and the Harry quote at the top of this article really helped me to begin to understand unconscious bias in action.

Page sponsored by the Hibbert Trust

It is important to put anti-racist policies and programmes in place within our congregations and groups. But it must not be the only effort we expend. Unless we do our own individual work around our own internal racism, we will be part of the problem and never part of the solution.

Resources/References

1. A guidance document about recruitment within the Royal Society, it also has some excellent definitions and action points for anyone seeking to confront unconscious bias: https://tinyurl.com/RSuncobias 2. An online test for unconscious bias, created by the Southern Poverty Law Centre’s offshoot educational organisation, Learning for Justice: https://tinyurl.com/ BiasTestOnline 3. Watch 13th on Netflix – it is about the 13th Amendment to the US Constitution, but also covers the demonisation of black people in media, films, books, etc.

4. Austin Channing Brown, ‘Dear Nice White People’: https://tinyurl.com/ChanningBrown 5. Harry & Meghan documentary, article on racial attacks: https://tinyurl.com/FlixInterview 6. Harry & Meghan documentary, article on unconscious bias: https://tinyurl.com/UnCoBias

Danielle Wilson The Rev Danielle Wilson is an Interfaith minister and Unitarian who is member of the Unitarian Women’s Group.

www.inquirer.org.uk | Page 7

Subtle racism, just as damaging Continued from page 5 >

the Unitarian movement. Those moments are ‘microaggressive’, compared to the overt racism I experienced in the first 25 years of my life. And, I sometimes just sigh and thank God that in this day and age, within the UK, I won’t be shot at or arrested as a brown girl in the white part of town.

Good intentions don’t make a difference One of the reasons we find it hard to deal with this issue is because we judge ourselves and others differently. We think, ‘I had good intentions’, while believing others to be mean and selfish if they violate our boundaries. We wonder why our offenders didn’t realise they were putting us down. In this way we set the relational bar low for ourselves and high for others. ‘My good intentions are enough’, we think to ourselves, as we minimise our offences towards others. But good intentions are an insufficient excuse for anyone’s behaviour. The bar should be equalised for all, and hurtful attitudes and behaviours should be addressed compassionately but justly.

What’s confusing about SAE is that they are often committed by people who do not intend to cause offence.

Most commit SAEs because they don’t understand other people’s experiences or because they hold unconscious bias. They do it at home, in public spaces and at work. But because embarrassment and confusion arise with SAE, people find it hard to speak up when it happens. Instead of having a productive conversation, there are awkward silences, resentment, continued ignorance and sometimes just bewilderment.

Of course many initiators of such SAE would say that a question or comment is innocent. One person will ask another, ‘where are you from?’ out of genuine interest.

When the answer is accepted as ‘I’m from Birmingham’, then it likely was an innocent question. But when they follow up with, ‘but where are you really from’, it is less innocent. An alternative follow-up, ‘but where are you parents from?’ suggests that even if you think you belong, your ancestors obviously didn’t belong here. The question suggests an interloper status that stretches through generations and across racial/ethnic lines.

Deep listening can be helpful One way of having a productive conversation about these difficult topics is through deep listening to truly understand and acknowledge each other’s experiences. Once we, as a faith community, acknowledge that we have these problematic behaviour patterns within our community, we need to speak up and call it out. This is where it becomes challenging. The natural human reaction to being confronted is usually some form of defensiveness. Some people will be angry, some profusely apologetic, others will Page 8 | Issue 8052 – 4 February 2023

be dismissive. Regardless of the response, it is suggested by the authors Jana and Baran, that the person being subjected to a SAE should remove themselves from the exchange that may follow to allow themselves the space to remain calm.

The idea is not to walk off in a huff but to leave with an affirming statement such as, ‘I hear what you are saying and I need time to process it’. I have found this difficult in the past, but have increasingly become more confident in acknowledging when an SAE has occurred and then removing myself from the gathering. The advice for the initiator of the SAE, is to simply listen and to attempt to understand the response and not attempt to formulate a defence or a superficial apology for what has just happened. For silent observers to these occurrences, the advice is to create an atmosphere that empowers them to become outspoken allies against these SAEs. The fact that we can’t boil down all the acts of SAE into one scientifically tight concept should not dissuade us from addressing it in practice. Within our communities we should be creating an awareness both of the ethnic complexity each individual to whom this kind of question is addressed, as well as the attitudes and behaviours that have been tolerated as a normative state in the past.

In liberal faith traditions, we perhaps too easily believe that our good intentions override our words (‘but I was only stating the facts’), our actions (‘well I didn’t think they’d be interested in something so English/British/ Western’) and our behaviours (We don’t really want that kind of perspective / viewpoint in our pulpit, do we?). If we are going to create spaces that are more inclusive, respectful and collaborative then we must understand what is happening within ourselves and our interactions with each other to effectively and compassionately address these contemporary issues.

References: 1. Making Sense of Microaggressions by Susan Cousins and Barry Diamond (2021). Open Voices 2. Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions by Tiffany Jana, Michael Baran, et al.

3. Pierce CM (1974). Psychiatric problems of the Black minority. In S. Srieti (Ed), American Handbook of Psychiatry (pp 512-523) New York NY: Basic Books.

Jacqueline Woodman Prof Jacqueline Woodman is an NHS consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist.

She is a member of Oxford Unitarians, and is vice-chair of the London District. She is a Board member of the Oxford Institute for British Islam.

Page sponsored by the Hibbert Trust

Seacole loved to be of service I’m enjoying In Search of Mary Seacole, the Making of a Cultural Icon (Simon Schuster 2022) by historian Helen Rappaport.

Mary’s story was widely known in the 19th century but faded from view. It has recently re-emerged.

She was born (1805) a free person (her father was white) in Jamaica and became Mary Seacole after marrying Edwin Seacole in 1836. He died just eight years later. Energetic businesswoman, herbalist, Mary Seacole, Public Domain caterer and hotel manager, photo via Wikimedia Commons she was also a selftaught nurse and healer.

Rappaport describes her as Black. Jamaica was populated by a mixture of free men and women, plantation owners, including the Unitarian Robert Hibbert, maroons (runaway slaves, who formed their own community), sailors and regiments of soldiers. The countryside was beautiful, the cities disease-ridden and squalid. Mary took to nursing many of her lodgers, especially the British soldiers whom she consoled in their absence from home.

She continually developed her skills as a herbalist as well as a ‘doctress’. *** When the Crimean war broke out, she offered service as a nurse. When this was declined, she set off there at her own expense. Several newspapers, unable to comprehend the thought of a Black woman on such a venture, changed ‘Mrs M Seacole’ to ‘Mr Seacole’. So, what motivated this unqualified woman? Christian compassion? She was baptised a Catholic. Her own words tell it best. ‘I love to be of service to those who need a woman’s help.’ Fearless, she held one soldier with Yellow Fever in her arms as he died. *** The opening chapters tell the intriguing story of the portrait that appears on the dust jacket. Unknown until it mysteriously appeared, it had been hidden as part of an assortment of items sold in a car boot sale in Burford in the Cotswolds. The dealer who bought a different picture was intrigued by the signature on the back, opened it up and there was a colourful oil painting of Mary, wearing Crimean war medals, used as backing. He reframed it and

FUNNY OLD WORLD

By John Midgley

put it up for sale. Helen Rappaport bought it and it now hangs in the National Portrait Gallery. *** In the early part of 2022, a significant change was agreed at our Nightingale Unitarian Conference Centre, Great Hucklow. The former Hibbert Room is now changed to the Mary Seacole Room. Foy Society President Gwyneth Roper led an unveiling ceremony, during the Foy Society Conference in May. The renamed room now displays this photograph (shown) of Mary with a note about her life. A most fitting choice. She is now remembered and honoured alongside Florence Nightingale, the other nursing hero of the Crimean war. *** New Year, a time to look back at 2022. My review must include apologies for past errors in this column. When I wrote of my close-up experience of the late queen, it was at Manchester Cathedral for the distribution of the Royal Maundy Money. I mentioned her numerous attendants including the Beefeaters in their colourful uniforms.

Wrong. I am grateful to fellow Inquirer board member Valerie Walker for informing me that the attendants on that occasion were the Yeomen of the Guard. They are decidedly not the Beefeaters and get irritated when this mistake is made. A foolish error, as I had made a passing reference to Gilbert and Sullivan, The Yeomen of the Guard being one of their famous comic operas. The Beefeaters are the Yeomen Wardens of the Tower of London, who look after the Crown Jewels, the ravens, and the Tower itself of course. *** A second error came when I wrote of the memoirs of Shirley Williams, Lady Williams of Crosby, referring to her as a Dame. Regular reader Bert Clough has written to point out, ‘She was never a Dame but was made a Baroness when she joined the Liberal Democrats, becoming their leader in the House of Lords.

Interestingly, when a girl, she was screen tested for the film National Velvet but was pipped to the post by Elizabeth Taylor.’

I’m grateful for having these errors pointed out. As someone once put it, ‘I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more!’ www.inquirer.org.uk | Page 9

Louise Reeve writes of trans awareness training offered to Unitarians

I hope they see ‘Ellie’

Shown above: Ellie Lowther

Following the passing of the resolution proposed by the Foy Society at our General Assembly in April 2022: The General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches: a) Affirms with joy that each person’s understanding and statement of their own gender identity is a matter of conscience; b) Affirms that transgender rights are human rights c) Joins the British Medical Association, the Trades Union Congress and others in civil society in urging the adoption of a self-declaration model for gender recognition by the UK and devolved governments; and d) Requests that the Chief Officer lobby for this model in response to UK or devolved government consultations and on any other suitable occasion.

After the resolution was voted on, many Unitarians commented that they would like to be more aware of trans history and related social issues, with a space to discuss questions and learn more. The Northern Unitarian Association and FOY Society provided funding for north east trainer, Ellie Lowther FRSA of Essential Learning Curve Ltd., to provide two online trans awareness sessions on 17 and 19 November, with Louise Reeve at Newcastle Unitarians doing the organising.

Forty Unitarians and fellow travellers joined the Thursday evening session, and around 20 joined on the Saturday morning. Over two hours, Ellie (a trans woman and person of faith) led us through the history of trans people in the UK, issues many trans people face, and touched on issues of language and what the correct terminology is. Her down-to-earth and friendly approach helped people ask questions and explore these topics, and contributed to a positive learning environment.

In a follow-up interview, Ellie Lowther said: ‘I feel history shows that tolerance is the impostor of acceptance and there are many people who have been grouped together to be judged as “outsiders” in our long and interesting history.

‘I am a person of faith who understands we are all on our own spiritual journey and I am aware of many others who feel the same way – yet feel homeless in this regard.

Any one of us can be bullied or discriminated against, depending on the audience. Until we are all free to be ourselves, we will never realise the safer inclusive world that benefits everyone. I feel this is important for people of faith as the very premise of having a faith is to understand that this is a journey – the destination is in our own hands.

Ellie shared what she hoped participants – and the Unitarian movement – might take away from the training: ‘I understand when a session begins, participants could have a certain perspective of the person in front of them.

Hopefully by the end of the sessions, I would hope that when they see me they would instantly think ‘Ellie’ removing the labels and engaging with another human, just as we all are. I believe the world of inclusion progresses one conversation at a time, and I felt blessed to be able to engage with the Unitarian Church participants in such an open way where absolutely anything could be discussed in a respectful and peaceful atmosphere.

‘And, I look forward to many more conversations. Thanks to all the attendees for being there. They made a choice to enter the discussion, that’s something many other people could use as inspiration.

For more information, contact Ellie Lowther here: https://essentiallearningcurve.com/ Louise Reeve is a member of Newcastle upon Tyne Unitarians, where she is worship leader.

Kieren Mardle-Moss writes of a Unitarian weddings event

For perfect matches

Shown above: A new weddings leaflet was launched at the event. It’s available from Essex Hall

All you need is ‘All you need is love’ was an event to help Unitarians make their church, chapel or meeting house into a perfect place for weddings.

After some inspirational musical introductions, a virtual space was facilitated by Lizzie Kingston-Harrison, congregations connections lead for the Unitarian General Assembly. It was held on 16 January. This meeting was an opportunity for a group of Unitarians from across the UK to get together virtually to discuss weddings. For a bit of background, this started as a Facebook group to build on the Rev Melda Grantham’s work as Weddings Lead for the Unitarian General Assembly and provide a connected space for us to share best practices and how to get in the best possible shape to offer weddings in Unitarian places of worship.

Melda started the session by sharing the lovely new leaflets on weddings as well as a video of a reading that was used to celebrate St Dwynwen’s day at Rosslyn Hill – options to showcase how we can utilise anything and everything to celebrate love.

Melda shared some of her unique insights from her former work as a registrar too. (There is nothing she has not seen by the sounds of it!) The Rev Phil Waldron from Ullet Road Church in Liverpool shared the positive steps and infrastructure he has put in place to set weddings up for success there. Joanna Drake, from Todmorden Unitarians, was able to offer her experiences from lay-leading Unitarian weddings and how practicalities can translate well regardless of the Unitarian setting. There was then an opportunity for everyone to ask questions and share best practices so we can set up weddings for success in our Unitarian spaces where the magic ingredient is ‘all

you need is love’. There is the opportunity, if the interest is there, for more sharing of best practice within and beyond the group to all who are interested in having a collaborative, collegial space to get the best opportunities to offer Unitarian weddings. On behalf of the attendees – thank you to Lizzie, Melda, Phil, and Joanna.

Kieren Mardle-Moss is a member of Coventry Unitarians.

Melda Grantham adds: It was a real pleasure to be able to share the love on what was reputedly the most miserable day of the year, known as Blue Monday. There was certainly no misery in our virtual group and I now look forward to connecting with more people who either are, or would like to be wedding practitioners.

So, if you’re interested in making a lot of people happy, what would your first steps be?

Join our new Facebook group which is a space where you are encouraged to share stories, experiences and photos, ask questions and generally share the love: https://tinyurl. com/UnitWeddings Make sure that your church or chapel is registered for same-sex marriages. If you haven’t got a licence already, then please do contact me and I can provide a how-to guide and some templates to make the process easier. mgrantham@unitarian.org.uk Consider attending the Unitarian College Rites of Passages training course which includes a lot of practical training. The next one will be held at the Nightingale Centre, Great Hucklow in July. Please contact either Ant Howe AHowe@unitarian-college.org.uk or Helen Mason HMason@unitarian-college.org.uk for further details.

Kieren Mardle-Moss is a member of Coventry Unitarians. www.inquirer.org.uk | Page 11

A prayer Find a moment. Find a place. Time for prayer.

Let there be quietness around you.

Sense the stillness of the inward journey to the peacefulness of this moment.

The soul is in a deep place within you, a luminous energy in the deep ocean of experience.

The soul has no form, only a presence that radiates light into the emotional centre of the body, reflecting a love that is like no other.

Love from the soul ignites the passion to be amongst the spiritual spheres above the material bonds of everyday.

Prayer releases the still, spiritual energy of the soul.

It rises heavenwards carrying the tidings of love and energy linking to other souls in an enveloping cloud of care and affection.

Prayer reaches the unseen world of angels who have unspoken words of comfort and healing and help.

Prayer they tell us is an act of love.

God is; the angels’ silent voice confirms. Prayer, in the moment, touches what God is.

Tony McNeile

Pixabay photo by fancycrave1

www.inquirer.org.uk | Page 12