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ukc drinking problem?

comment - page 4

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iq entertainment - page 9

six wives of henry viii

iq culture - pages 18-19

Issue 9.10

14th February 2014

valentine’s day uncovered

iq features - pages 15-16

students vote for student republic Christopher Heron Newspaper News Editor KENT Union will remain associated with Student Republic after a powerful vote in the events company’s favour with the backing of over 120 students at the Your Union Zone on Tuesday 11th February. Students present voted on whether Kent Union should remain associated to Student Republic, a popular event promotions company in Canterbury. The motion itself had caused controversy due to the popularity of the #TREND night that Student Republic run on Friday evenings at the Venue. The Zone was well-attended, with the initial count at the start of the meeting reaching 152, with more students arriving after the beginning of the meeting. The Democracy Zones often struggle for the attendance, with the Your Community Zone last week being cancelled after failing to reach quoracy, the attendance necessary for the Zone's decisions to be valid. The number needed for the Democracy Zone's decisions to be valid is 25, so there was no issue at the Your Union Zone. There were two motions presented, the first of which, “Kent Union should lobby Kent Sport to implement reduced gym membership to sports clubs”, was sent to an All Student Vote. The second, “Should Kent Union be associated with Student Republic?”, proved to be more contentious. The debate itself had the potential to be a volatile

one, with allegations from the proposer of some verbal abuse prior to the zone and considerable online debate. The proposer, Dave Cocozza, Kent Union's Mature Students' Officer, brought the motion forward, citing issues with the “Public Image” of Student Republic. Dave Cocozza, the proposer, said after the meeting: “It gave the student body the chance to voice themselves, question officers like myself, and hold people to account. “Despite the negative comments, and some almost personal attacks, I still stand firm that I did the right thing by taking this to the Zone and allowing students the right to

Photograph by Daniel Barnby

vote on a matter which impacts them.” Several issues were brought up in the debate, including the lack of complaints from individuals going to the #TREND night, whether tweets on personal twitter accounts should influence their company, the poor record of Friday nights at the Venue in previous years and a contentious point about the proposer's campaign to become president of Kent Union. Chris Hawksey, Director of Student Republic, said of the result: “We have been overwhelmed with the support that UKC students have shown us over the past week or so, and at the Union Zone meeting. We were always confident that

Kent Uni students would see through the allegations that had been made, and the support for Student Republic and TREND has been mind blowing.” Some who work at the Venue on Friday nights said they could have made complaints about the #TREND night, but others noted the improvements on the number of hours they could work due to #TREND. George Hopkin, the chair of the Your Union Zone, praised student engagement: “There was a terrific turnout to the Zone, and I’m glad that the attendees helped to create a healthy atmosphere for discussion--especially with the controversy surrounding the idea on Student Republic.”

varsity fixtures list

sport - pages 12-13

student expenses worries

Matthew Gilley Newspaper Editor

57% of University of Kent students regularly worry about being able to meet basic expenses such as rent and utility bills, according to a new report by Kent Union. The University Living Costs report examines the effects of factors like financial support, hidden course costs and accommodation costs on student retention and finances. “The results show that many students are struggling to finish their degree at the University of Kent because they are worrying about how they are financing their education,” claims the report. 41% of respondents were having to work part-time jobs to cover their living costs, with most working 11-12 hours a week. A significant 12%, however, were working more than the recommended 20 hours per week. The report also highlights two trends in students seeking financial support at Kent Union’s advice centre: students sending a portion of their earnings back home to struggling families; and students taking out payday loans. Financial worries can be particularly acute for minority groups of students. 33% of students aged 25 or over had seriously considered dropping out, the report found, compared to 27% of students aged 18-21. 40% of disabled students said the same... Continued on Page 3


News Editor’s Note

Hello everyone, An exciting paper this week. We’ve got reports and comment on the recent controversies surrounding Student Republic and the related Your Union motion. We also have some lovely Valentine’s coverage for those of you who care about that sort of thing, and some not-so-lovely coverage, for those who don’t including a poem from our very own... ahem... Percival Cleft. And last, but not least, turn to pages 12-13 for all the Varsity fixtures. Matt. InQuireMedia

2013/2014 Editorial contacts: Alasdair Lawrence Chairman chairman Matthew Gilley - Editor newspaper.editor Chad Greggor - Website Editor website.editor Newspaper: Christopher Heron - News Ginny Sanderson - Comment newspaper.comment Emma Shelton - Features newspaper.features Rebekah Chilvers - Culture newspaper.culture Emily Adams - Entertainment newspaper.entertainment Dan English - Sports Website: Simon Terhaag - News Tom Vine - Comment website.comment Tom Hagues - Features website.features Caroline Wadham - Entertainment website.entertainment Natalie Turco-Williams Culture website.culture Hetty Sieling - Distribution distribution LaShanda Seaman - Promotions and Events events Daniel Barnby - Design design To contact the committee, add @ to the end of the address under their name.

jäger rocks record breaking figure reported false Felix Morris CANTERBURY students record breaking Jäger Rocks night has been reported to be false, says events promoter Student Republic, and has caused a “media campaign’” against them. On Thursday 28th January, 930 litres of Jäger Bombs were allegedly consumed at the Old Brewery Tavern’s student night. The figures were taken from a tweet by the event’s organisers, Student Republic, saying: “News just in: you guys drank a record 4,764 Jägerbombs at last Thursday’s Jäger Rocks #cheeky”. The tweet was later deleted by the company. The popular student night sold Jägerbombs for one pound each, and the night in question was attended by 800 students. This means each person would have consumed an average of between five and six Jägerbombs. Since the tweet, the event’s organisers have reported the figures were false. Edd Withers,

from Student Republic, said the incorrect figures were tweeted due to “human error” and that “the tweet came from the venue, the Old Brewery. The tweet wasn’t thought of as anything until it was picked up by the media and we took a closer look at it.” Student Republic released a statement saying “Some figures were doubled, and even tripled by the tabloid press” and they sold around “2,500 ‘Jägerbombs’ - not 5,000 as widely reported and tweeted in error by the venue.” The statement also claims no more than three Jägerbombs are sold in one go, although Withers said it’s up to the venue to enforce this. As far as we are aware it is strictly enforced.’ There were reports that it was possible to buy more than three Jägerbombs at once at the night. Since the initial media interest in the Jäger Rocks night Student Republic have doubled the price of Jägerbombs, saying: “Due to an intense tabloid media campaign and pressure from

local authorities, we have been forced to raise the price of our Jägerbomb to £2.” Student Republic also defended their reputation as event organisers saying “We pride ourselves on how seriously we take our duty of care to our customers and feel that our record of student care speaks for itself.” The reports have come

at a difficult period for the company, as a Kent student has put forward a motion to disaffiliate Kent Union from Student Republic. On Tuesday 11th February, students voted to keep Kent Union’s affiliation with Student Republic intact. ‘Does UKC have a drinking problem?’ asks Layla Haidrani on Page 4.

rise in university applications arrests of students at protest Ginny Sanderson Newspaper Comment Editor UNIVERSITY applications have risen by 4% since last year, with 35% of eighteen year olds having applied to university, UCAS reports. Application figures are recovering following a drop in 2012 after the rising of tuition fees. This contradicts the fear that students would be put off by the £9,000 a year fees. It is also believed that, compared to a decade ago, young people from disadvantaged areas are almost doubly likely to apply. “It is particularly significant that the 2012 fee rises do not appear to have put off disadvantaged young people from applying to university” said Paul Clark, from Universities UK, on the issue. However there have been concerns about the implications

of gender imbalances amongst the applicants. There has been a significant gap emerging in male and female applications, with 87,000 more women than men. UCAS chief Mary Curnock Cook suggested “this underperformance needs urgent focus across the education sector”. Meanwhile the gap between advantaged and disadvantaged applicants has dropped. Those from lesser-privileged backgrounds are still two and a half times less likely to apply. Addressing this gap “must remain a priority” said Les Ebdon, director of the Office of Fair Access. NUS’s Rachel Wenstone reflected that “there will always be problems with a system that puts a price tag on education and requires students to make decisions about whether or not they can afford to go to university”.

Julia Mitchell THERE were 14 arrests were made on the 29th of January after police were called out to reports of violence, during a student protest at Birmingham University’s Edgbaston campus. Nine men and four women were arrested, all of them under the age of 24. The demonstration, which was against rising tuition fees and low staff wages, included supporters of the Defend Education Birmingham group. The protesters occupied two buildings as a part of their protest and also unrolled a banner from the University clock tower. According to the university, the violence also included smoke bombs and fireworks being thrown as well as doors being broken down and staff injured. Following the demonstration, the Defend Education Birmingham group has made claims regarding the ‘kettling’ of around 100 students by the police while the arrests were being made. According to a statement on their website: "The kettle lasted

four hours, keeping protesters and press in the freezing cold.” Other claims have included that arrests were made after students refused to provide police with their names and addresses. In response to the claims of ‘kettling’ Superintendent Lee Kendrick has denied all of the accusations: "We strongly refute any suggestions of containing or 'kettling' a lawful protest.” Kendrick continued to add that "the suspects were detained by police and required to give their details ahead of the pending criminal investigation - any that refused were arrested”. The University of Birmingham has assured that: "Whilst peaceful protest is part of university life, the University will not tolerate behaviour that causes harm to individuals, damage to property or significant disruption to our university community.” Three individuals have since been charged with violent disorder, while the remaining ten were released on bail on the 31st January having being held on suspicion of criminal damage, aggravated trespass and assault.

News 3 article four direction - how it affects us kent union stalin blunder InQuire Special Report Christopher Heron Newspaper News Editor THE Canterbury City Council has approved the implementation of an Article 4 Direction, but what is it and how will it affect students? An Article 4 Direction is a policy which means that planning permission is required for the use of a building to be changed. For students, this would mean planning permission would be needed for a house to change into a House in Multiple Occupation (HMO), which are dwellings where three to six unrelated individuals live together - the majority of student houses. Essentially, it means that the quantity of student housing can be limited through the use of planning permission when a certain threshold (10%) of HMOs in an area is reached. The reasons cited by the supporters of the Article 4 Direction include waste collection, noise issues and

anti-social behaviour. There had been concerns from the council over the high level of HMOs in some areas. They argued that they were looking to maintain “balanced communities”. The implementation of the Article is predicted to have an adverse effect on student housing in Canterbury and the surrounding areas. Namely increased rent as housing close to the universities in Canterbury is more limited and falling house standards as a result of a decrease in competition. Due to this, more students would have to live further away from their University campus in areas with weaker transport links. Canterbury City Council has looked to introduce an Article 4 Direction for several years, with previous Kent Union VP Welfare officers campaigning against the motion. The current VP Welfare, Megan Wells, also argued against the motion. At the Canterbury City Council executive meeting she

highlighted how the motion had by-passed public consultation. With a decision being made at the executive meeting rather than going through the local plan, which had been the original method. She also said: “When this policy was previously discussed it was deemed there was not enough evidence to support an Article 4 Direction… No new evidence has been provided. “The introduction of an Article 4 Direction would be detrimental to not just the student population of the district, but also young professionals and other individuals living in houses of multiple occupation. “The points that are stated in the agenda stating that ‘Article 4 would help communities stay communities’ are offensive and alienating to those people that live in HMOs, especially students.” The introduction of the Article 4 Direction would cost around £50,000. The council are looking to start the process “as soon as possible”.

Caitlin Webb KENT Union has attracted controversy after using an image of Joseph Stalin to advertise for the Kent Union leadership elections and a ‘Campus Takeover’. The news was picked up nationally, most notably by the Huffington Post. In a statement, Kent Union defended the posters as being designed “to promote and spark discussion”. It was the Campus Takeover which is an open lecture on ‘The Power of Cartoons’ on the Medway Campus. The posters are “based on two pieces of protest art - namely a film poster for Red Monarch, directed by Jack Gold depicting an image of Stalin with a tomato squashed against his nose and the ‘New Labour, New Danger’ advertising campaign created by M&C Saatchi”. The Chair of Your Union Zone, George Hopkin, has spoken out about the posters. He said: “Using Joseph Stalin to advertise students’ union

democracy is distasteful. Kent students are rightly shocked, as Stalin was a brutal dictator, comparable to Adolf Hitler, and responsible for the slaughtering of millions of people. “There has to be a better way of promoting our leadership elections and engaging students, especially as Kent Union is a charitable organisation with social responsibility.” At the time of writing, the leaflet is still in circulation.

warwick students break strike living costs - finance worry for students Afroditi-Maria Koulaxi STUDENTS at Warwick University have broken the lecturers’ strike by organising self-run lectueres, to the anger of supporters of the strike. Students have taken the initiative to organise student run lectures, amid widespread confusion as lecturers and support staff continue to push for a raise in pay. Students have created a Facebook group, “Warwick student Lecturers-Learning Will Go On” for lecture and news updates, calling at the same time for a speedy resolution of the pay dispute. The Warwick History SSLC representative stated that: “We respect the right to strike, but feel it unjust that students

should be penalised”. In their effort to defend the initiative to organise and deliver lectures voluntarily, students highlight that this cannot be considered as a “anti-strike behaviour”. This came after accusations from supporters of the strike of students disrepecting the strike action. Sally Hunt, the general secretary of the UCU, the main Union pushing for the strikes, said that: “We understand the frustrations of students who want to get on with their education and share their concerns about further disruption. “However, we have tried to negotiate with the employers for months to improve their miserly pay offer of 1 per cent.”

Photo by Kyrosho

Continued from Front Page ...compared to 28% nondisabled, and 36% of lesbian, gay and bisexual students, compared to 28% heterosexual. The report recommends the University make support more accessible and clearer for these students, and undertake research on how to best support them. Last year, the NUS study The Pound in Your Pocket considered similar questions. That report found that, nationally, 39% of undergraduates and 35% of postgraduates had seriously considered leaving their course, but although the Kent figures were better, there was a greater emphasis here on financial difficulties. One of the greatest strains comes from accommodation. At UKC, all accommodation exceeds the minimum maintenance loan and students who receive the maximum loan

will spend close to 90% of it on their rent. The University Living Costs report recommends that University rent strategy responds specifically to the climate of student finance and the economy, and that focus be shifted from comparing rents to competitors. Megan Wells, Kent Union’s VP Welfare said: “Following on from extensive work on accommodation costs and hidden course costs, the University Living Costs report looks at three main streams: how much students are spending per week, how it is affecting their welfare and where they are getting financial support from. “We realised with an increase in fees, higher living costs and less financial support we needed to understand what the true picture was at Kent. “Some of the main results that came out showed that Kent students were worrying

more about not having enough money to pay their bills than the national average, and 43% of students were having to get financial support from friends and family to get through University. “These results show a worrying trend, but the nine recommendations from this report, will hopefully go some way to addressing these issues.”

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sugar daddy to fund your degree

Georgia Dawson

THERE is a Sugar Daddy boom on Kent campus, and we can all blame rising tuition fees. Debts will average £53,000 for those who started an undergraduate degree in 2012. Plus, the only work available for many graduates is unpaid internships. All of us worry now and then about University debts, overdrafts and loans, so is it any wonder that some girls are turning to desperate solutions? Looking for an older gentleman to pay your way? is here to help, or perhaps here to take advantage. Welcome to a dark little corner of the internet where young women can find, meet and potentially sleep with older, rich, generous-withtheir-money men. Founder of the site, Brandon Wade claims “We’ve had a huge influx of beautiful, highly educated young women,” becoming SeekingArrangment members. The dating site tycoon has released figures showing numbers of female students who have signed up to the

controversial site in the last year. Sadly UKC didn’t make first place, which goes to Nottingham University with 61 members. However, we did make a nauseatingly close second, as the University of Kent boasts 57 sign ups to the site. Cambridge University, recently voted the best university in the world, interestingly came fourth with 46 students signing up. They may have to re-market their pristine reputation. Despite the stigma attached to internet dating, it’s not all sleazeballs and crazies. Members can arrange trial dates with their selected sugar daddies before settling down with one. After all, it’s always good to make sure your intended partner can hold a conversation, tell a good joke and isn’t an axe murderer. Many lucky women are even treated to trips abroad by their ‘Daddies’, enjoying romantic getaways in Paris and Rome. If you ask me though, I think those women should be making a whole other kind of get away, especially considering some men on the site are openly married! Multi-millionaire Brandon

Wade doesn’t seem bothered by the potentially dubious nature of his pet project. Wade tells universities “Your new tuition fees have been great for business,” and advertising campaigns certainly reflect this. Female students new to the scheme get automatic upgrades to a premium account. Also,

they are given a ‘college sugar babe’ stamp on their profile, just to make them feel extra special. There you have it: SeekingArrangement. I might be uncomfortable with its brand of financial/romantic entanglement, but I’m not judging. Life is hard after all. If

you’re in a tight spot, then you don’t have many choices. However, I can’t help but think that this would all be unnecessary if we just had reasonable tuition fees in the first place, or at least better graduate prospects. The recession seems to have screwed us over, yet again.

does ukc have a drinking problem? Layla Haidrani UKC recently hit the news for supposedly consuming just under 5000-strong Jägerbombs in one night with organiser Student Republic tweeting “News just in: you guys drank a record 4,764 Jägerbombs at last Thursday’s Jäger Rocks #cheeky.” That figure has since been retracted, but as a result, my Facebook news feed last week was awash with statuses like “Glad to do my bit,” in reference to the media coverage and I even received a phone call

from my dad who asked rather suspiciously if I had been there. While I may not have been there (although in hindsight, perhaps I should have taken advantage of £1 Jägerbombs), it does beg the question, do we have an unhealthy obsession with alcohol? Perhaps we do - from the beginning of the UCAS application process, many students base their university choices on its reputation for drinking and its social life. After arriving at university, we are encouraged, and even

peer-pressured, to drink as much as we can, whenever we can, as it’s all part of our ‘student experience’. Although it may appear harmless, this could be creating an increasing dependence on alcohol. After all, sports societies have gained their notoriety through hard drinking and many people wouldn’t ever consider going to Venue sober. Our unhealthy obsession with drinking has meant that our social interactions are very limited without it. In my three years at UKC, my seminars have been usually very quiet with people too shy to talk. Yet, if I saw the same people at Venue or in a local bar, they were more than willing to talk. In that sense, it is arguable that alcohol has become an integral part to socialising. When I studied in the US for a semester, it was a totally different experience. The 21+ drinking age and a dry campus meant that people possessed far more social skills; instead

of relying on a bottle of vodka to talk, people took the time to know each other. And it’s not just limited to student alcoholism, drinking games have recently been given bad press with the online craze of ‘NekNomination’, which has worryingly been linked to the death of an Irish teenager. ‘NekNomination’ refers to a drinking game where you neck a drink (potentially could include things like eggs, urine, or even a live goldfish as a female student demonstrated just recently) and nominate another. But at the same time, students are given an unfair reputation. Contrary to people’s perception that students drink and party all the time, we are still at the lecture hall, writing essays in the library, doing plenty of extra-curricular activities and getting involved with the student union. A drink here and there certainly isn’t student alcoholism, it’s just a bunch of friends getting together to let off some steam.

And if a promoter is offering £1 drinks if your budget is low, a few drinks doesn’t mean you’re instantly an alcoholic. Ginny Sanderson, who was present on the ‘legendary’ Student Republic event, thinks “there has been a huge overdramatisation of the night. It adds up to about 6 Jägerbombs per person, not something we should be going hysterical over. But there is an attitude problem with students where we think we must drink to have fun”. If anything, the blame should be put squarely on promoters trying to encourage young people to drink as much as they can. Students are impressionable (and low budgeted) people – a mere advert of £1 Jägerbombs is enough to let even a skinflint student run to the nearest tavern. Student Republic have taken some responsibility by raising the price of their Jägerbombs to £2. But will I see you at Venue sober? Perhaps not…

Comment 5

bieber’s antics are not newsworthy Sophie Clark LAST year, Canadian singer Justin Bieber hit our headlines numerous times. One such incident involved Bieber turning up over an hour and a half late to his own concert at London’s O2 Arena, allowing those who didn’t already have a dislike for the 19-year-old star to jump on the bandwagon with the rest of us. Now he’s back in trouble, dominating the media after being arrested for drag racing in a residential area… while under the influence of alcohol, marijuana and prescription drugs… oh, and with an expired licence. All but one of the charges were dropped, but until then the story came up repeatedly on major news channels and in respected newspapers, with continuous updates about his arrest. This included Bieber’s mugshot, where the teenager cockily smiles at the camera. The mugshot says it all really, full of smug self-confidence.

This seems to be another case of our society’s young and famous thinking the law doesn’t apply to them. Celebrities frequently appear able to get away with it on a technicality - well, a lot of

money can get you a very good lawyer. However, this is not my main problem with the Justin Bieber story. As hypocritical as I feel right now, my real concern is

that mainstream media seems to swarm straight towards any celebrity ‘news’ and stick to it like glue. This pushes important political stories of riots, protests and political change in countries like Syria and Ukraine to the side. Instead of hearing about and understanding real world issues, our society is now being bombarded with celebrity culture which, let’s be honest, shouldn’t really affect the world. Sure, I do think people should be alerted to the fact that their celebrity ‘heroes’ aren’t angels, but perhaps it would be better suited to gossip magazines rather than news channels and newspapers that have the ability to educate and inform the world, rather than keeping it in the dark. Current problems such as media bias and its neglect to report on serious issues, for example the continuing violent riots in Ukraine, are only fuelled by the media’s incessant need to update us on the lives of irresponsible celebrities.

In fact, this coverage seems merely to support and market teen stars like Justin Bieber, sparking the hashtags ‘#FreeBieber’ to trend on Twitter after his arrest. Celebrity culture has increasingly been given more outlets in recent years - like social media - to let us indulge in the lives of others. Front page articles and news headlines still insist on covering these stories too, perhaps in favour of attracting more people, as constant news of death isn’t exactly heartwarming. Certainly the world of celebrity serves as a kind of escapism, with its triviality and luxury, which is much easier to read than news of war and violence. Yet, in my opinion, this has now reached the extent that the public are being denied information of important world events. Unless mainstream media changes, up-to-date internet sources and citizen journalism may be the real champion of news.

religious extremism is not the only issue Ruby Lyle WRITING in The Observer on the 25th of January, former PM Tony Blair argued that the direction of conflict in the world is based on “a perversion of faith”, meaning religious extremism, rather than the more traditional foundation of ideology. To demonstrate this he refers to the recent terrorist attacks across countries such as Syria, Libya, Iraq and Lebanon and notes that although the countries differed in politics they shared religious extremism as being a cause of violence. Blair continued on to claim he has the answer to this growing problem, both its roots and its solution: education. He believes that religious extremism is taught rather than being a natural facet of faith, and as such it can only be countered with a promotion of widespread tolerance and attitudes of peace between those of differing religions. Blair does not end here; handily he is able to cite his own foundation - creatively

called the Tony Blair Faith Foundation - as being a prime example of the work which should be carried out to help bring an end to religious conflict and violence. Of course, the former Prime Minister’s argument is littered with problems. The most obvious is that war has not simply occurred as a result of religious difference, but with key motivating factors such as poverty, hunger, inequality and economic strain. A prime example of this is the Syrian uprising which began as a protest for freedom, justice and democratic reform. Many terrorists cite political not religious - problems as the cause of their extremist actions. In short, Blair’s article is a vast oversimplification of the current global situation and does not grasp that violence does not only have one root. Similarly, the Tony Blair Faith Foundation is simply too easy an answer to creating unity. If increased dialogue was the only answer, then surely war would be a far less frequent occurrence. As it is, Blair’s

2013 impact report is rather unsatisfactory in displaying key links between its actions and a decrease in tensions. Another issue with Blair’s argument is that it assumes that those he labels as extremists view themselves as such. Instead, those who Blair might label as extremists or terrorists may think of themselves as protecting and presenting the

Photograph: janeywoo

correct interpretation of their religion, sometimes through the role of freedom fighting. If those trying to maintain their form of religion are forced to change their message, surely they would be more inclined to vehemently argue their view to help preserve their religious understanding. Ultimately, although Blair has attempted to show himself as

an authority upon recent upset, predominantly across the Middle East, his article is filled with holes and suffers from gross generalisation rather than acknowledging any further causes of violence beyond religion. While the article was most certainly well intended, it certainly requires more than a pinch of salt when being read.



why immigration is important Layla Haidrani

IMMIGRATION has been a hotly contested issue in the last several years. With its often negative portrayal in our society, it is often not clear why immigration can be a force for good. You only need to take a cursory glance at certain newspapers (I’m looking at you, Daily Mail and The Express) to observe the hyperbole and fear mongering

that our country is being taken over by immigrants. With headlines such as ‘“White boys are failing in schools because of immigration” and “British families will lose out from influx of cheap labour from Romania and Bulgaria”, these media outlets have succeeded in whipping up hate and hysteria for the masses of impressionable readers. It is little wonder then that figures from the British Social

Attitudes 2014 survey found that 77% of people supported a reduction in immigration levels while UKIP’s anti-immigration rhetoric has gained support from former Tories and even in some cases Labourites. But, as a daughter of immigrant parents who came to the UK for postgraduate studies at university, I can safely say that the way immigrants are perceived (particularly exacerbated by right-wing media outlets) is frankly absurd and borderline ludicrous. My dad has been a humanities teacher his entire career in secondary schools in the UK, teaching young people necessary skills to survive in a highly competitive society, and my mum is a librarian and university lecturer in London while doing the ‘second shift’. We have never once ‘sponged off the state’ while sitting at home watching Jeremy Kyle, as voracious consumers of the Daily Mail would assume. Rather, my parents have been making an active contribution to the state through their work and tax-paying. Antiimmigration simply doesn’t reflect hard working people like

my family. And it certainly isn’t just my parents who have been paying taxes and making a positive contribution to public finances. The Organisation for Economic Co-operation & Development published a report in June 2013 showing that migrants in the UK pay more tax than they use

UK with a strong international community. Boasting 140 nationalities at our university, having a study body that is diverse is so enriching for your development. Off the top of my head alone, I have French, Finnish, Pakistani and Greek friends and it certainly makes life far more

“UKC prides itself as one of the most cosmopolitan universities in the country” public services. As the report demonstrates , society would therefore have to make cuts to public services and would lead to higher taxes. Yet newspapers and politicians fail to mention that as a result of immigration to the UK, British taxes are lower and the deficit is smaller . And with our university boasting the accolade of the UK’s ‘European University’, how is immigration necessarily a bad thing? University of Kent prides itself on being one of the most cosmopolitan universities in the

exciting . This country alone is the product of thousands of years of immigration from across Europe and the rest of the world. Diversity only makes us stronger. As a society, Britain has prided itself on our tolerance for LGBT issues, civil liberties and justice, yet immigration is still a controversial subject. I long for the day I don’t have to see headlines such as ‘immigrants taking our jobs’ and hope that we can celebrate the diversity of the British population.

showed this concept off recently with The Governor, a truly psychotic, dictatorial character. It’s fascinating to see how far apart the reactions and adaptations of different people can be to the apocalpse. That seems like the real root of the interest. There are many theories, the idea of zombies as a satire of the dehumanising aspects of capitalism etc., but

the real reason we love zombies is much simpler. As viewers/ readers, we love to imagine how we’d react, how well we would do in a similar situation. Would we be a Daryl or Governor? The reality is that most of us would be woefully unprepared for a zombie apocalypse, but it’s fun to step into those worlds of fantasy where we get to be the ultimate hero.

what is it about the walking dead? Callum Tyndall

THE Walking Dead is back on our screens. One of the biggest shows currently on television and a prominent part of the current zombie fascination, there’s a good chance you’ve seen the “your February, my February” comparison photo ads that keep popping up all over Facebook as the second half of Season 4 draws ever closer. The question though, is why on earth are we so drawn to shows such as The Walking Dead and the zombie subgenre in general? Just to use TWD as an example, the first half of Season 4 featured some truly unpleasant scenes of brutality committed by both humans and zombies alike, with many a head being taken apart in the name of survival. Now, gore horror is a big business, but the ever-growing zombie subgenre goes a whole step above this. Gore horror, such as The Evil Dead, is based

on the near masochistic thrill we get from making ourselves feel uncomfortable at what we’re watching. And while that certainly plays a part in zombie televsion and movies - let’s not forget that The Walking Dead has shown us a water bloated zombie being cut in half by the rope that dragged it out of a well - it doesn’t seem to be the main attraction. If it was just the brutality, there are plenty of other, non-zombie shows that could be watched. Instead, it seems to be something more to do with the humans. Obviously, the action is exciting and the violence is cool in a graphically brutal kind of way, giving us that strange catharsis that the action genre is built around, but it’s really the stories that keep the viewer drawn in. It’s why Brad Pitt’s World War Z was a let down. While a perfectly average zombie action film in itself, it was supposed to be drawing from an incredibly narrative driven, and infinitely

superior, source. Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead) has said before that real zombies should be slow rather than the modern trend to allow them to run. If a zombie can run then it’s all about them - they become just another “made you jump!” monster, when it should really be about the humans and how they adapt to this new reality. The Walking Dead really

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thugnotes reviewed iq features pg. 16

jay z and kanye west university module iq entertainment pg. 11

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valentine’s day special iq features and culture pgs. 15-16, 20

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the six wives of henry xviii interview and review iq culture pgs. 18-19

the armstrong lie film review iq entertainment pg. 10

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IQ Entertainment 9

events events calendar

the satellite tour at the ballroom Photo by Jessica Mills

february march Fri 14th-Thu 20th Feb 12 Years A Slave The Gulbenkian Cinema Sun 15th-Sun 23rd Feb Bagpuss’ 40th Birthday Canterbury Heritage Museum Tue 18th Feb Beyond The Barricade The Marlowe Theatre Wed 19th Feb Cafe Live - Gulb Slam The Gulbenkian Theatre Fri 21st-Wed 26th Feb Mandela - Long Walk To Freedom The Gulbenkian Cinema Mon 24th Feb-Sat 1st March Thriller Live The Marlowe Theatre Tue 25th Feb The Bible The Complete Word of God (abridged) The Gulbenkian Theatre

Jessica Mills

I headed down to The Ballroom to catch the first date of The Satellite Tour, a fourteen date stint around some of the most intimate venues in the U.K. This was actually the first time I’d ever been to The Ballroom but I knew of its reputation as a good venue for live music and I wasn’t disappointed. Walking in, I could tell there was a good vibe about the place which promised a great night of music and as I spoke to the bands beforehand they were very excited to kick off the first night of the tour with a bang. Sons and Lovers opened the show with an enthusiastic and dynamic set, with lead singer Tom demonstrating

his clear chemistry with the audience. Watching this band perform, it’s easy to see why they’ve already played with the likes of Ellie Goulding, Kyla La Grange and OneRepublic. Their upbeat, yet melodic, songs had the audience engaged and eager for more. When I spoke with Tom before the gig, he cited Bruce Springsteen and Led Zeppelin as two of the bands main influences, saying that one live video of Led Zeppelin was all it took for his fellow bandmates to know that they wanted to play music for the rest of their lives. Sons and Lovers have a busy year ahead of them, with their first single release a month after the end of the Satellite Tour, and a new headline tour in May. Second onto the stage and bringing a definite change in tempo, was solo artist Fred Page. Having spent the last 12 months on London’s live circuit, this is Fred’s first proper tour, instilling a mixture of nerves and excitement in this young artist. His musical influences – including the likes of Jeff Buckley, Bon Iver and Ryan Adams – were clear in his soulful and harmonious songs and voice, which unfortunately was not done justice due to the fact that the audience was rather loud throughout his set. Fred’s debut single Concrete, will be

Thu 27th Feb & Sat 1st Mar NT Live - War Horse The Gulbenkian Cinema Sat 2nd Mar La Belle Et La Bête The Gulbenkian Cinema

Wed 5th-Sat 8th Mar A Midsummer Night’s Dream The Marlowe Theatre

Photo by Jessica Mills

they knew what they were doing, and that they love doing it, and I can’t wait to see them again. All three performers kicked off the tour in style, and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us in the year to come.

blink: a true love story at the marlowe studio

Wed 26th-Thu 27th Feb Amateur Girl The Marlowe Theatre

Tue 4th-Sat 8th Mar The Comedy of Errors The Marlowe Theatre

released on the 31st of March. Bringing the show to a rousing close were Eliza and the Bear, fresh off the Paramore arena tour. With their catchy and upbeat songs, coupled with their clear onstage presence, they were a fantastic close to the show, and left the audience wanting more. The band are going from strength to strength, from having their songs played on Radio 1 DJs to multiple festival sets for the summer and a debut album on the way. Watching them perform, it was clear

Photo by The Marlowe Theatre

Myles Corley

Thomas Pickles and Lizzy Watts are on stage for 70 minutes. No interval, no scene change, not a single break from their relentless love story from the moment the curtain goes up, to the moment they take their final bow. Yet somehow this simple approach to theatre is phenomenal. Never do you feel bored or fidgety; just entirely enthralled with the lives of the two protagonists. The journey of the two characters, Sophie and Jonah, twists and turns, the audience laugh, then with a flick of a smile that laughter changes to intense sadness, the strange longing for something more which is the core of the

story swoops silence across the crowd. We feel like an orchestra, and the actors are our conductors - crafting our emotions and responses with excellent acting talent. We are in the play with them, the house lights are up and there is no fourth wall to break between the story world and the reality of life. The actors talk to us directly, look into our eyes, laugh with us, cry with us and draw us in to their journey. Thematically the narrative combines a wide range of thoughts and feelings, with the quest to discover love being central. Opening up huge ideas about what love really is, the play truly does leave one pondering long into the night about life, love and relationships.

The voyeuristic nature of the tale, with the use of a baby monitor by Jonah to watch Sophie touches on many social themes which are very relevant today. The use of Facebook, Twitter and all the social media sites nowadays allow people to sit at home and look at others without their knowledge being a very similar concept. However Sophie knows, she enjoys the fact Jonah is watching - the knowledge of someone looking on is what she wants. In a climatic scene, Sophie tells Jonah that although she does love him, that is not enough and she is in love with the idea of having someone there, rather than having him specifically. Difficult themes handled beautifully with wit, passion and eventual crushing heartbreak. The incredible direction of Joe Murphy has enabled the witty, fast paced writing of Phil Porter to come to life on stage in ingenious ways - with two desks being used to create the settings for London, the countryside, hospitals, gardens - yet always in a completely believable manner. I could not recommend this play more - see it as soon as you can. Be quick though Blink, and you’ll miss it.


IQ Entertainment


listen, watch, use and follow Grace Dawson Listen: Miley Cyrus’ cover of Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High With all the twerking and teddy bear abuse, it’s easy to forget that Cyrus has a voice under all the controversy, and this cover is evident of that. Performed on MTV’s Unplugged, it’s not an official release, but it should be. Listen to it on YouTube or Sound Cloud; in a word, it’s perfect. Watch: Brooklyn Nine Nine A hilarious comedy that has already won two Golden Globe awards for best television series in Comedy and best actor in a Television series for Andy Samberg. The series is based around a group of loveable detectives in precinct 99. This is a perfect TV show to start even if your assignments pile up; it’s heartfelt and one of the funniest new shows out there. If you haven’t already, catch it on 4od.

top 5 anticipated films of the year

Natalie Turco-Williams Website Culture Editor

Let’s face it, 2013 was a great year for film, what with the groundbreaking Gravity, The Great Gatsby and the ultimate prequel, Monsters University. The only problem is that because we’ve been to the cinema, watched the film and bought the DVD we’re bored with last year’s releases. We need something new, something to keep us on the edge of our seats. So, to help get us excited for 2014, I’ve looked at some of the most anticipated films to be released this year. The Sequel – The Hobbit: There and Back Again We all know that when Peter Jackson makes a film out of a book, one does not simply get a single feature film, instead we get a trilogy that constantly leaves us with cliffhangers wanting more. So after two years of waiting we’ll finally get to see the ultimate battle between


Use: Flappy Bird It’s probably the most frustrating and addictive game ever made. It’s only been a week since I have downloaded it but I have already spent a worrying amount of time playing it. There is a tiny bird which is super sensitive to the slightest knock that needs to be guided through blocks by you tapping the screen. It’s like angry birds except now, you are the angry one. Follow: @FirstWorldPains First world problems have become part of my vocabulary and this twitter feed is the flawless highlights reel of some shamefully accurate problems. A particular highlight is: “The feathers from my duck feather pillow keep stabbing me in the face”. So, for utter gems just like that, First World Pains is a must follow.

the dwarves and Smaug. Will Thorin claim the mountain back? Will Smaug burn the village to ashes? Will we see the rise of Sauron? Release Date: 19th December.

Russell Crowe in Noah

The Blockbuster– Noah A biblical setting plus major Hollywood stars multiplied by dramatic scenes equals a big win at the box office. If you haven’t already guessed, this epic is based on the story of Noah’s Arc and not only features Russell Crowe but Emma Watson as well. This retelling of Noah’s Arc, although fantasy, is more realistic and edgy compared to the kiddie version we often hear. This is thanks to the styling and special effects. If Noah is anything like Crowe’s other movies, such as Gladiator, I think we’ll be in for a real treat. Release Date: 4th April. The Underdog – Cuban Fury Who would have thought: Nick Frost in a dance movie. And not just any type of dancing but salsa dancing. Yes, in this new British comedy he shakes his hips as he plays a former salsa prodigy who makes a comeback after ruining his career. For a dance film, the casting choices are very unusual, which in a sense is its greatest strength because it’s so unexpected. Its other unlikely stars

include Chris O’Dowd, Olivia Coleman and Rory Kinnear. Release Date: 14th February. The Teen Sensation – Vampire Academy Think Twilight meets St Trinians. Based on the book by Richelle Mead, the story follows Rose Hathaway, a half human half vampire who is training to be a guardian for her vampire best friend. It contains your typical teen hit themes of magic, vampires, and, of course romance. The real question is: will it suck? Release Date: 21st March. The Remake – RoboCop Tron, Carrie, Total Recall, RoboCop? We all know remakes walk a fine line between being worse or better than the original. Lets just hope RoboCop doesn’t let us down and is better than the 1987 version. For those who don’t know what RoboCop is about, it’s based in 2028 and revolves around a good honest cop that gets shot to death and is brought back as half man half machine. Release Date: 7th February.

the armstrong lie: greatest fall from grace

Lance Armstrong

Oluwamayowa Idowu

Usain Bolt. Roger Federer. Lance Armstrong. We are a blessed generation. We’ve witnessed some of the finest athletes at their career peaks. We also witnessed the greatest fall from grace in the history of sport. Enter The Armstrong Lie, a piece of work originally devised in 2009 to document

the cyclist’s return from retirement. As the doping allegations against Armstrong gained media attention, it was put on the back burner and redeveloped to highlight the sins of the man. Director Alex Gibney highlighted one of the greater sins we have committed as a species - getting so caught up in the fairytale that we forget to ask the questions that need asking. Armstrong developed a cult through his personality. He reached rock star status after hobnobbing with political royalty like Bill Clinton and Michael Bloomberg. This is a story about power, hubris, and the quest for truth. There are appearances by some of the most significant whistle blowers like Sunday Times journalist, David Walsh. There’s also a great portion dedicated to disgraced doctor, Michele Ferrari, who was the brain behind

the cheating operation. The use of flashbacks from the original 2009 film gives the audience a chance to gain an understanding of Armstrong’s life and career. As hard as it may seem, Armstrong emerges with some credit. For one, the greatness of his work through Live Strong, a charity that helps cancer sufferers, is undeniable. There’s a very stirring scene showing old footage of him visiting children on a cancer ward, and it is the only time we see him show any emotion. The Armstrong Lie finds him at his most honest. When he appeared on Oprah last year, the general feeling was one of disappointment. In this film, he’s more open in providing insight into the doping culture prevalent in cycling. This film, exposing Armstrong’s journey from cycling hero to steroidfuelled disappointment, is a mustwatch.

IQ Entertainment 11

music & more casting under fire: who’s decision is it?

Georgia Dawson

Uproar erupted on Twitter when

casting choices for the new Batman/ Superman crossover film were announced. To be specific, fans were not happy with Jesse Eisenberg’s role as notorious super villian Lex Luthor. Eisenberg is best known for his portrayal Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook mastermind, in The Social Network. On Twitter, most people thought Jesse was too young, which is ironic considering he is the same age as Henry Cavill, who is set to play Superman. Others who loved the bold choice leapt to actor’s defence, referring to his previous Oscar nomination as evidence of his skill. However, Eisenberg’s weedy frame and afro hair style couldn’t be more different to the broad, bald and intimidating Lex Luthor, loved by comic book junkies since 1940. After rumours of criminal superstars like Bryan Cranston and Joaquin Phoenix in the running, Eisenberg obviously fell pretty short of fan expectations. Deborah Snyder, producer of the film, defended his choice. “Having Jesse in the role allows us to explore that interesting dynamic, and also take the character in some new and unexpected directions”. Members of our very own drama department agree with this

Jesse Eisenberg

reasoning. First year student, Masie Golding, for instance, believes “actors are capable of playing many roles and should not be judged on a single portrayal. Think of Johnny Depp, if he had been judged on a single character type he would have not played so many spectacular roles”. Criticism from fans is not just limited to men in tights and capes. The writers of Doctor Who struggle against criticism with every new regeneration. I think we all remember the pain of saying goodbye to David Tenant, as well as our determination to hate Matt Smith. However, with a geeky smile and cheeky bowtie, the 11th Doctor eventually won over most of the country.

Similarly, Amanda Abbington who played Mary Morston in season 3 of Sherlock, received real life death threats when her involvement was announced. Some fans took the John/Sherlock friendship so seriously that they couldn’t stand anyone coming between them, no matter how kick-ass that character turned out to be. That said, Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy was recently cast as Christian Grey in the upcoming adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. Fans were expecting someone with classic ‘Ken doll’ looks for the role, maybe another Robert Pattinson. Talk about shallow. Upset got so bad that producer Dana Brunetti took to Twitter to tell fans, “There’s a lot that goes into casting that isn’t just looks….Keep that in mind while hating and keep perspective”. So should audiences get a say over who plays their favourite characters? India certainly thinks so. With a dubbed version of the Hollywood hit I, Frankenstein in production, the audience will get to decide which TV or film actor they want to play the iconic monster. Problem is, I think India’s got it wrong. I think we should let the writers do what they want. The show is their baby after all, their creation, not ours. If you want the story to go your own way so badly, then hey, that’s what fan fiction is for people.

jay z & kanye at the university of hip hop

Kanye West and Jay Z

Katyanna Quach

Students taking the module ‘English 2169’ at the University of Missouri will probably be very glad that ‘work’ for them involves listening to music and watching music videos. This unorthodox method of studying is key to the course being offered on the relationship between Jay-Z and Kanye West. Course essentials include their collaborative album Watch The Throne, Jay-Z’s biography Decoded and essays by hip-hop critic Jeff Chang. It’s split into three main aims that examine: 1. How is what they do similar to and different from what poets do? 2. Where do they fit within, and how

do they change the history of hip-hop music? 3. How does their rise to both celebrity and corporate power alter what we understand as the American dream? At first, this may sound absurd and ridiculous, especially at university level, but course instructor Andrew Hoberek reasons that the critique of art and studying its history can heighten ones pleasure towards it. He compares Yeezus and Jigga Man to ‘the painters and novelists in the twentieth century, moving beyond the confines of art forms’ boundaries’ with the use of their lyrics as poetry and ability to convert them into video art in the form of their music videos. Is this an invasion of today’s celebrity culture from social media into

education? Or is there actually a good cause? It seems that it is actually the latter as the University of Missouri is not the only higher education institute to incorporate music artists into their classes. A PhD student teaching at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey uses Beyonce as the central figure to explore gender, American race and sexual politics. And just last year, Harvard University established a new fellowship in honour of rapper Nas. Called the Nasir Jones hip-hop fellowship it invests in “artists and scholars with exceptional capacity for productive scholarship and exceptional creative ability in the arts, in connection with hip-hop”. It is clear that universities are starting to recognise hip-hop’s power as both a serious art form and a source to study todays issues. The courses do not involve studying Jay-Z, Beyonce, Kanye or Nas as celebrity figures but as artists themselves. They are highly successful and well respected in what they do and their careers make learning about a wide range of subjects from poetry, sexism and culture more relevant.

albums on the go

Amy Bliss

So Long, See You Tomorrow Bombay Bicycle Club This fourth album from the indie band, on first listen isn’t really anything spectacular, but the more you listen to it, the more it grows on you like a denim shirt-wearing bacteria. It’s clear that Steadman’s Asian adventures have had an influence on this album. That, fused with enthralling synths and famously distinctive vocals means you’ll love once it clicks. Cavalier Youth You Me At Six Yet again You Me At Six have created an album that has matured from the previous one with the catchy choruses and repetitive riffs that make sure it still appeals to your 16-year-old cousin. This album’s sound is softer and more pop-like compared to it’s heavier, and arguably better predecessors. The band’s ability to create a mid-teen anthem is indisputable. Not terrible, but not something to scream from the rooftops about. Waking Lines Patterns If Sigur Rós and Animal Collective were to ever collaborate, this album would be the outcome. Its tranquillising combination of delicate lyrical delivery, entrancing riffs and soft electronic influences create a dream like quality, inducing a euphoric musical coma. Patterns have created a debut album that really does mark them as a band to watch. Drowners Drowners Drowner’s self-titled debut album may well be the love child of The Strokes and The Vaccines. If you were to hear it on the radio, it would be easy to mistake the distorted vocals and suggestive lyrics for that of Julian Casablancas. Not that Drowners isn’t a good album, it just doesn’t bring anything new to the game. Completely familiar and unoriginal, but easy, enjoyable listening.

Saturday 22nd February 9am - Women’s Volleyball at CCCU Sports Centre 11am - Men’s Volleyball at CCCU Sports Centre 1pm - Netball 4th Team at CCCU Sports Centre 3pm - Netball 3rd Team at CCCU Sports Centre 5pm - Netball 2nd Team at CCCU Sports Centre 7pm - Netball 1st Team at CCCU Sports Centre

Sunday 23rd February 9am - Badminton at CCCU Sports Centre

KE Kent Fa Christ Chur External

timings and locati change. to keep up to developme


for live coverage fro sure to ch

12pm - Women’s Basketball at CCCU Sports Centre 2pm - Men’s Basketball at CCCU Sports Centre 3pm - Men’s and Women’s 2nd Team Hockey at Polo Farm 5pm - Women’s Hockey 1st Team at Polo Farm 7pm - Men’s Hockey 1st Team at Polo Farm

www.inquir www.csr www.ktvl make sure you follow to support

@team #kentv Photography by Sam Allard

Monday 24th February 12pm - Women’s Tennis at UKC Tennis/Netball Centre 12pm - Men’s Football 3rd Team at UKC Parkwood Pitches 12pm - Men’s Rugby 4th Team at UKC Parkwood Pitches 2pm - Men’s Football 2nd Team at UKC Parkwood Pitches 2pm - Men’s Rugby 3rd Team at UKC Parkwood Pitches

EY: acilities rch Facilities Facilities

6pm - Men’s Football 4th Team / Intramural at UKC 3G Pitches 6pm - Men’s Tennis at UKC Tennis / Netball Centre 8pm - Women’s Football at UKC 3G Pitches

ions are subject to o date on the varsity ents, visit:

om all the events, be heck out: facebook and twitter your team:

mkent varsity

Tuesday 25th February 9:30am - Swimming at Kingsmead Leisure Centre 11am - Equestrian at Trenley

Friday 26th February 12pm - Women’s Lacrosse at UKC Parkwood Pitches 12pm - Men’s Rugby 2nd Team at UKC Parkwood Pitches 2pm - Men’s Lacrosse at UKC Parkwood Pitches 2pm - Men’s Football 1st Team at UKC Parkwood Pitches 3pm - Men’s and Women’s Indoor Cricket at St Lawrence Ground 5:15pm - Women’s and Men’s Rugby 1st Teams at Canterbury Rugby Club


IQ Features

should readers influence authors? Zara Akhtar

Photo by Nathan Hadley

Recently, J.K.Rowling, author of one of the most successful franchises Harry Potter, sparked huge controversy by admitting that the relationship between Hermione and Ron, was “wrong”. Not only that, but Hermione should have been paired with the main character himself, Harry. This is not the first time Rowling has made quite a huge revelation concerning her books: in an interview with Daniel Radcliffe, she admitted that

there had been a short period whilst writing her books that she had seriously considered killing off Ron mid-way through the series. Her comment? After apologising, Rowling added “I can hear the rage and fury it might cause some fans... It was a choice I made for very personal reasons, not for reasons of credibility. For reasons that have very little to do with literature and far more to do with me clinging to the plot as I first imagined it. Am I breaking people’s hearts by saying this? I hope not”. Of course Rowling will be breaking many hearts: her series is worth an estimated £15 billion, bringing in one of the most loyal and dedicated fan bases of all time, better known as the “Potterheads” (for the Muggles reading this article). She has been writing her series for over a decade, and many fans have grown up with the story and will believe that they should have had a say in the plot construction. Rowling has always suggested she only writes for herself. Is that fair? Or even true? The author should not have to consider their readership. The point is

to keep fans interested by not giving everything away, but at the same time it is simply impossible to please everybody. Even had Rowling changed her intentions and paired Harry and Hermione together, she would still have had unsatisfied fans. Some may have preferred Hermione with other characters such as Malfoy, or Neville. This is evident from websites like Fanfiction which are invented for fans to go and write their own versions of what they feel ‘should’ happen. And it has to be said that pairing Hermione with Harry would have fit the obvious hero-getting-the-girl scenario, which is far too predictable and boring. On the other hand, although they shouldn’t have to, it is clear that no matter what any writer says, their readers will greatly influence any decision making. The fact remains that Rowling didn’t kill off Ron, because it would have been out of “sheer spite” and she knew the backlash it would have caused as there would have been no genuine reason to kill him off. And she isn’t the first author to ‘play’ with her readers: author of the

supposed rival franchise, Twilight, Stephenie Meyer claimed she too had been close to killing off her main characters, Bella and Edward, simply because she was “so over it”. Of course, she didn’t in the end. Why? Because she, too, would have lost respect and a dedicated readership. Finally, writers have the added financial incentive to listen to their readers because once a book series becomes popular, it also becomes a business. Simply put, the author to a lesser or greater extent must consider their readership because without them, they won’t get what they also need: money.

Photo by Nayara - Oliveira

north or south: which side are you on? Natalie Tipping

When I arrived in Canterbury, I was pretty unaware of the mixture of pity and derision I would get for being from ‘up there’. I soon found however that the North/South divide was much bigger than I’d anticipated. Here are just a few of the rumours about Northerners that I want to quash right here, right now.

Photo by Gareth UK

We’re all poor Believe it or not, the landscape ‘up there’ is not covered in pits with cart horses pulling loads of coal so that we can heat our homes and boil our kettles. We have electricity too now. It’s amazing stuff, got it installed at the turn of the millennium. Now my family

just need to redecorate our blackened living room walls and we’ll be sorted. Yes, things do tend to be cheaper in the North, but is that really a bad thing? I’d much rather spend 20 quid on a night out than twice that. Some of the greatest industries in our country, you know, that stuff our now doomed economy was built on, was based in the North. In the 18th and 19th centuries, Britain’s economy was boosted mainly due to our ability to trade with countries all over the world using our huge shipping industry. Do you know where those ships were mainly built? That’s right, in Northern cities like Liverpool and Newcastleupon-Tyne. Nobody can understand what we’re saying This is just utter blether in my opinion. So what if someone calls you ‘pet’, it’s not nearly as annoying as being called ‘hun’. I’ll tell you what’s more confusing than listening to a Northerner order a ‘balm cake’ instead of a ‘bread roll’, listening to someone chat a girl up by asking if she wants to ‘Friar Tuck’. I mean, are you serious? And what the hell does ‘reem’ even mean? Another thing people seem to think is that everyone from the North sounds like TV personalities like Keith Lemon

or Vernon Kay. First off, Keith Lemon is a FICTIONAL character created to be an exaggeration of Northern stereotypes. He does not sound or act like anyone I have ever met, nor do I ever wish to meet anyone like him. Vernon Kay comes from Bolton in Lancashire, an area with a very distinct accent.

Photo by Beacon Radio

I will repeat my point from earlier: the North is not a barren landscape stretching from one mining town to another. There are plenty of different areas with plenty of different accents. Northerners aren’t as smart as Southerners This is a good’un. I love encountering this everyday in the South. It definitely never wears thin. I don’t know whether this stems from the fact that we don’t sound as posh as you lot or something,

but surely the choice to use short ‘a’ sounds rather than long ones isn’t a sign of how smart a person is. I went to a Northern state school – actually named a ‘High School’, don’t even start telling me it was a ‘Secondary School’ – and came away with 17 A*-C GCSEs. The only C was in PE, and three of 17 I completed before Year 11. Born and raised in the North and doing pretty well until I came down South and chose tequila over education. Oops. Honestly though, I don’t even know why this debate needs to be raised anymore. Can’t we all just live in harmony? I just want to bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles and everyone can eat it and be happy. Yes, I’ve seen Mean Girls, we have internet and DVDs in the North as well.

Photo by Gaynoir_

IQ Features 15

valentine’s day stripped news in Kyle Boyd

With the arrival of Zac Efron’s latest romantic comedy, and a gaggle of loveheart balloons in the window of every greetings card shop comes a holiday which is, perhaps ironically, scarier for me than Halloween. On Halloween one can pull down a mask and assume the identity of somebody else and if we’re lucky we’ll get a nice bag of sweets.

Photo by tlindenbaum

Valentine’s Day, however, has us stripped down to our emotional underwear running through the streets with little but a bunch of roses to retain our modesty. With movies like The Notebook setting the impossible-toachieve definition of what it is to be romantic, there is an interesting sense of camaraderie when we catch the eye of another walking down the high street on the 13th holding a box of chocolates and a six-foot card. Good luck, brother. Of course I am being a touch dramatic, but Valentine’s Day is packed full of interesting ironies. Not least is the very existence of a St. Valentine’s Day as a day of love and romance, given that its origins come from a feast intended to commemorate two 3rd century martyrs (each called Valentine) who were

decapitated on 14th February. It wasn’t until over one thousand years later that the day became linked with love and it has been suggested that this was because Geoffrey Chaucer described it as a day on which birds selected their mates. I certainly don’t condone decapitation, but maybe this year you could show your partner the true spirit of Valentine’s Day with a loving picture of some mating cockatoos. In psychological research, it has also been found that our cultural view of Valentine’s Day as a holiday to enhance romance is somewhat of a paradox, too. The study, conducted in 1999 and 2000 at Arizona State University in the United States examined the relative quality and stability of college students’ relationships as well as break-up rates, both one week before Valentine’s Day and one week after (as well as at various matched times throughout the year). The findings highlighted that of all holidays, the Valentine’s Day period was most frequently related to the demise of relationships. Whether you’re a 10-year-old with a crush, or a happy twenty-something hoping to impress your partner this year, Valentine’s Day places upon us an expectation. And indeed these expectations may lead to the occasional playground embarrassment, or even contribute to the break-up of a relationship, though it truly isn’t all bad. Research on the love hormone, oxytocin, has found that there are four simple steps we can take which can lead us into a happier Valentine’s Day,

and crucially out on to the other side. Oxytocin plays an important role in the neuroanatomy of intimacy, specifically in sexual reproduction and in relational bonding, so unlike most of Valentine’s Day, the following steps are not constructed by social expectation, but simply by what is effective in helping us to feel the love. Dinner and wine – seems like an obvious one, but it is true. Food and a little wine have been proven to raise levels of oxytocin in our body. Walking and holding hands – Fresh air and physical contact with your crush can facilitate that bonding process which is produced by increased oxytocin. A massage – A moderate pressure massage can be effective in relaxation and increases oxytocin levels. Something exciting – Doing something to raise the heart rate can too inject a bit of oxytocin. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Photo by JonoTakesPhotos

inquire sudoku


Stefan Vassalos

The five types of flirting Anyone can tell you that flirting can be hard, but some scientists have finally laid bare its ins-and-outs. Researchers from the Universities of Kansas and Southern California and from dating website eHarmony conducted a study (published in 2011 in Communication Quarterly) which looked at the heterosexual flirting activity of 5020 people with the aim to understand if there are any constants in the vague and uncertain world of flirtation. The researchers concluded that five distinct types of flirting can be identified: traditional, physical, sincere, polite and playful. In the “traditional” style, courting behaviour is divided along gender roles, with men instigating flirtatious encounters – e.g. offering to buy a drink – and women being more responsive, waiting for the men to suggest further involvement. “Traditional” women in the study tended not only to be less likely to flirt with someone but were also less flattered by being flirted with. Anyone who claims to be able to detect the interest of others just by looking at them might well be a practitioner of the “physical” style, which is considerably more sexually charged than “traditional” flirting, and often involves innuendos and banter. “Sincere” flirting is the style in which emotional connection is most important and sexual interest is least effectively conveyed. “Sincere” flirts are likely to believe that they are being flirted with as well as to be flattered by it, and try to build a relationship with a potential partner through deep, personal conversation. The most cautious approach to flirting is the “polite” type, which is also practised by people looking for a sincere and emotional connection and involves no overt sexual references or behaviour. This style of flirting is the least easily-identified by the person being flirted with, so can fizzle out without the intention of either party. Finally, the “playful” style is primarily undertaken as a social act, more for pleasure and selfesteem than for the prospects of a relationship.


IQ Features

recipe classics get ‘street’ treatment of the week Louise Bellwood

Tom Hagues Website Features Editor

This Italian tray-bake makes for a perfect Valentine dinner as it requires minimal effort for maximum results; perfect for those who want to spend more time with a loved one and less time in the kitchen. Plus, like Saint Valentine, it’s completely Italian, and everyone knows that Italy is synonymous with love and romance. It’s a dish that will impress and woo every time. Ingredients: (serves 2 people) 4 Italian sausages (Sainsbury’s sell these as “Sicilian style” sausages) 4 chicken thighs/legs with bone and skin intact 2 baking potatoes, unpeeled and cut into roughly 2cm chunks 4 or 5 sprigs of fresh rosemary (a tablespoon of dried rosemary works as an alternative) 1 lemon 3 tablespoons of olive oil Salt and pepper for seasoning Instructions: 1. Preheat the oven to 220C/gas mark 7 2. Put the potatoes, chicken and sausages into a baking tray 3. Lovingly scatter the rosemary over the chicken and between the potatoes and sausages 4. Zest the entire lemon over the whole dish and add a good seasoning of salt and pepper 5. Drizzle the oil over it all and bake for 60 minutes. When it’s ready, the potatoes will be cooked through and the chicken will be golden and crispy. Serve it with a crisp, crunchy salad and hunks of crusty bread.

Bored of the unimaginative rubbish that websites such as SparkNotes and Wikipedia dish out about classic works of literature? Well, the next time you’re struggling to find the motivation to continue ploughing through a novel, take a peep at, the YouTube sensation to serve the masses with rapped, two minute renditions of classic literature of which the likes of Jay- Z and Kanye West would be proud. Now as an English Literature student, the idea of taking a classic such as Brontë’s Wuthering Heights and applying it to rap, seems mildly offensive. But what I will say in praise for ThugNotes is that Sparky Sweets’ hip-hop summaries seem to consciously promote the idea that literature is

cool; his tagline “Classical Literature: Original Gangster” demonstrates how rap can be used as a vehicle for encouraging younger audiences to gain an interest in classical literature, who would otherwise dismiss it for being too complicated, long and boring. For instance, Sweets’ comic gems include his description of Emily Brontë’s Heathcliff as “some emo landlord” whose love for Cathy is prevented because he was “****- broke.” However, my personal favourite has to be his reduction of Herman Melville’s Moby Dick to a single sentence - “500 pages of Ishmael going off about whaling” - which, let’s face it, is pretty accurate really.

Photo by Barry Mitchelson

Okay, this is the extent to which I can complement ThugNotes, because what bothers me is the title: why does literature need to be dumbed

down? I appreciate that the “gangster” approach is meant to be perceived as a humorous, yet a positive move towards making literature more engaging and accessible for young people, but for me, ‘ThugNotes’ just sounds negative. Not only does it sound aggressive but the rapped, streamlined summaries strip classical literature of its art and authorial integrity because it implies that to make literature cool, you need to lower yourself and become a thug. Perhaps I’m reading too much into a title, (the curse of the over-analytical English student) but surely a two minute YouTube video cannot replace the intimate relationship that a novel creates between its characters and the reader. Moreover, the website hardly offers the viewer any enlightening literary interpretations or textual analysis, so sorry guys, you’re still going to have to read the book. For me, the idea of teachers across the country imitating Sparky Sweets and rapping the classics to school children is utterly cringe-worthy. So please for the sake of your grades, don’t take ThugNotes’ advice; let’s all just stop trying to be cool and actually read and appreciate the value of classic literature, and leave rap and literature well apart.

brace yourselves: valentine’s is coming! Clare Ford

It’s that time of year again: shops full to the brim with teddies, florists are stock piling roses and Hallmark have been working in overtime trying to come up with even sicklier cards than last year. Love it or hate it, there is no way of escaping it, Valentine’s Day is coming. Don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of Valentine’s Day is great; I’m just not too keen on what it has become.

Photo by riptheskull

Most couples celebrate Valentine’s Day and there is nothing wrong with that.

No one cares how sickly sweet or over the top they want to be as long as they do it in PRIVATE! For that matter no one wants to know what you’re getting up to in private on Valentine’s Day, so keep the noise down for all our sakes. The problem is that many couples feel pressured into being romantic the way the media or society says they should. Some people spend a fortune on their partner in the form of jewellery or even an oversized teddy, while others opt for a home cooked, romantic meal or spend the time doing something that’s special to them. The lead up to Valentine’s Day is marketed by most shops (as you would expect it to be) as a reason to spend. Everything is special for Valentine’s Day once a heart motif has been stuck on the front, but they detract from the point. Rather than seeing the day as an excuse to show someone you love them, it has become another reason to buy stuff for someone. For all us singletons, the commercialism and incessant advertising is hellish. We are well aware that we are single. We may be okay or still be coming to terms with that for some reason or another. We do not want to be made to feel bad just because there isn’t another human being

currently in our lives who is going to buy us flowers or chocolates or send us a card. Equally, that being said, however much single people hate on Valentine’s Day, rant about the commercialism etc., I bet there are very few who would be upset or angry to receive a card or note to say that they were special to someone.

Photo by Saint Angel

From this resentment, the antiValentine has been created. Whether this be in the form of a party for single people where they throw darts at a picture of Cupid’s face or the humorous anti-Valentine card (look them up!) for people who can’t stand the rosetinted schmaltz. Either way the antiValentine’s movement is definitely growing. Whatever your feelings about it, whatever your relationship status, 14th February is just another day and unfortunately for Hallmark it only comes once a year.

IQ Features 17

soap! krispy kreme buffet what’s on at Friday 14th February #Trend Saturday 15th February Soap presents ANTI VALENTINE Wednesday 19th February Jellibaby presents Nerds vs Super Heros Friday 21st February #Trend presents BONDAX Saturday 22nd February SOAP presents Eating Nemo Wednesday 26th February Jellibaby presents VARSITY Friday 28th February #Trend


IQ Culture

that can’t be true... InQuire is dedicated to bringing you the bizarre and the newsworthy, and this definitely falls into both of those categories. This issue, we’ve been looking at the absurd things that Patron Saints are associated with, and honestly you’ll struggle to believe some of these... 1. Saint Valentine - we all know that he’s the Patron Saint of love, but apparently that’s not enough, as he’s also the Patron Saint of beekeepers, epilepsy and plague. Who knew? 2. Saint Bibiana - Patron Saint of hangovers. We can all relate to this one. 3. Saint Drogo - Patron Saint of unattractive people. Really? Does that need a patronage? 4. Saint Nicholas - not only the figure who inspired the idea of Father Christmas, but also the Patron Saint of students. More Christmas presents for us then? 5. Saint Fiacre - Patron Saint of taxi drivers, gardeners and people with STDs. Fair enough... 6. Saint Jesus Malverde Patron Saint of drug dealers. Erm, wait... what? 7. Saint Monica - Patron Saint of alcoholics. Who needs AA when you’ve got Saint Monica? 8. Saint Cornelius - Patron Saint against twitching. That one is pretty specific. 9. Saint Clotilde - Patron Saint of disappointing children. If anything was going to need a patronage, this one I can understand. 10. Saint Giles - Patron Saint of breastfeeding. If you’re going to have a baby, make sure you do a month or so before 1st September, as that’s Saint Giles’ feast day. Might as well make the most of tit.

“we wrote this show as a joke between ourselves”

Newspaper Comment Editor Ginny Sanderson and Newspaper Culture Editor Rebekah Chilvers caught up with Howard Coggins and Stuart McLoughlin - writers/actors behind The Six Wives Of Henry VIII at The Marlowe Studio

InQuire: How was your show in Canterbury then, first of all? Stuart: It was a great night; the audience were very warm and receptive, and they laughed in all the right places. Howard: And it was nice because there was a mixed audience, sometimes you get audiences of one kind of age. S: There were a couple of jokes in the show which are kind of geared toward a younger audience, so when we don’t get one, they don’t really laugh and just go a bit silent. IQ: Well, it’s nice that you have a layering of jokes to appeal to different audiences and ages. H: Not deliberately. I mean, if it makes us laugh, we put it in. That’s the rule. There’s one really specific joke which I don’t even get cause I’m a bit older than Stu. There’s a very specific kind of cultural reference. IQ: So is the writing process more like you guys just trying to make each other laugh? S: Pretty much, yeah. We wrote this show as a joke between ourselves. I noticed that Howard looked like Henry VIII, so I told him. We kind of joked that we should do the show and I’ll play all the wives. It became sort of serious I don’t know how that happened, but it did. So yeah, we had to form a company so that we get paid and the rest is all history. IQ: Are you big history fans then? S: No, it really is by necessity. It’s just that Howard looks like Henry VIII, we kind of had to research a bit of that history just so we could make it work. H: We wear our lack of historical knowledge as a badge of pride really. What’s weird about this show is that a lot of the things that you would think were made up are actually true. There’s a thing about embroidery in the show and when I read it I said “why have you got them doing embroidery, Stu?” and Stu said “well, they used to do that, they used to do embroidery together”. IQ: How did you guys do you research? S: We joke about Wikipedia but actually, it’s really useful, because for us, as writers, it gives us a kind of barebones account of the facts. There’s

no kind of conjecture as to what he might have felt or thought. So you can make those bits up. You can fill in the blanks, so it’s actually really useful. IQ: What would you say to drama students about how to go about setting up their career? H: Well, both of us worked as actors for years before we started making our own shows, and what we discovered by doing this is that the business has changed and in order to make a living these days, you’ve kind of got to be an entrepreneur, you’ve got to make your own shows. But actually, it’s a good thing because it means that you are in control of what you do. IQ: So, what’s your company called? H: We’re called Living Spit; as Stu said, we had to form a company to get paid to do this show and we were sat outside a coffee shop in our hometown thinking “what can we call ourselves?” and in the end we just realised that I’m the ‘living spit’ of Henry VIII. IQ: So, apart from appearance, are there any other similarities between you and your characters? H: Yeah, I’ve decapitated a couple of wives. I’m an awful misogynist… This is going to go down in print and all of the sarcasm in my voice is going to go, and I’m just going to be on the internet saying that I’m a misogynist! [But] it’s interesting isn’t it, because they’re all complex characters; even in a stupid comedy, we hope that there’s a kind of complexity in the characters. But no, generally there isn’t. I’ve only had one wife, and I’m still with her now. IQ: So, Stu, how did you find playing six women? S: Well it’s funny cause, for some reason, I’ve always, even as a child, dressed up as women. But I wanna make it clear that I’m not, in any way, a cross-dresser in my personal life. I think for me, it was the fact that dressing up as a woman is the furthest away from myself I can possibly get. H: Oh yeah, you’re so butch! S: No, I’m not saying that I’m particularly manly or anything, but it’s just, when I was a kid and sort of acting without realising that I was doing it, [I’d do it] just to make people laugh or get a reaction. IQ: So how do you find doing all six different characters - that must have been quite difficult? S: Not really, [I] just go on and pretend to do it and then don’t anymore. I think people pontificate a lot about how difficult acting is. It’s not. You’re not

saving lives. You just go on stage, and you say some lines. I’m sorry to shatter the illusion. I mean, once we’re on there, we don’t even think about it, we just do it and play on reactions from the audience. It’s a lot of fun to do. IQ: It sounds like you really enjoy it. S: Oh yeah, it’s such a laugh. We were just talking about this the other day, we’re on tour at the moment, and if it wasn’t for all the travelling and stuff, it would just be the best, and most amazing job in the world. I mean, it almost is. The two hours we go on stage every night - it’s just the best job in the world: making people laugh, doing what we do and getting paid to do it. IQ: So, how much more of the tour have you got then? S: We’re doing this until the 5th March. H: We’ve got about 14 or 15 more shows. We’ve been doing this show on and off for two years, so this is our 102nd show tonight. And so we’re going to put it to bed at the end of this tour for a while. We’ve got some other shows we’re making this year, so we’re going to do them for a bit. IQ: Can you tell us about those shows that you’ve got planned? S: One of them is in an empty shop, one of them is with pubs and the other is the sequel to the one we’re currently doing – The Six Wives Of Henry VIII. So you can imagine what that might be. H: And that’s the one that we’re most likely to bring back in your direction. So you never know, this time next year we might be back and Stu might be donning a red wig, shall we say. S: It’s a diverse life as an actor. IQ: It’s an exciting life. H: We don’t know what’s going to happen, and that’s the excitement of it. We don’t know where we’re headed with this. We’re happy doing what we’re doing and we’ll see what happens next really. To read the full interview, visit or scan the QR code below.

IQ Culture

best and worst: comedy films

Natalie Tipping

As a student who can never be bothered to do their work until the very last moment, I watch rather a lot of films. I am, however, guilty of choosing crappy comedies over thoughtprovoking epics most of the time so I don’t have to pay much attention. It’s not all comedy - gold out there though, so here’s my pick of the best and worst comedy films. Let me first say however that I’m not even going to sink to the level of writing about Adam Sandler films. If it ain’t Punch Drunk Love, I ain’t watching it. Annie Hall is my third best comedy film - I know this is an older choice, but it’s so much more worth a watch than American Pie or Scary Movie. Woody Allen stars in his own film about a comedian, Alvy Singer, who spends the film trying to find the reasons why his relationship with Diane Keaton’s character, Annie Hall, fell apart a year before. Lines can be drawn between this film and the Nick Hornby classic High Fidelity, which has been made into a very entertaining film starring John Cusack. Second best in my list is Bridesmaids. An excellent comedy centred on a group of women, this film not only saw Chris O’Dowd crack America with his portrayal of police officer Rhodes, but

also included loads of hilarious scenes, including the part where one character attempts to purposefully get arrested, and of course, the epic ‘diarrhoea at the dress fitting’ scene is so disgusting you can’t help but howl with laughter. The best comedy film has to be Pitch Perfect. If you haven’t seen this film yet, where have you been? It has everything; montages, musical numbers, romance and a character who calls herself Fat Amy so “twig bitches won’t do it behind her back”. Rebel Wilson’s performance as Fat Amy – or should I say Fat Patricia – is excellent, and the film acts as a re-birth for Twilight star Anna Kendrick as sassy wannabe music producer Becca. My third least favourite comedy is What Happens In Vegas. I think the worst thing about it is that my parents spent a tenner on the DVD of this Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher chick-flick/prank movie. Two complete strangers get married in Vegas and are about to get divorced when one of them wins $1,000,000. The film is basically then about them both trying to get the other to agree to give them half of the fortune. The completely unsurprising spoiler is that in the end they do actually fall in love. Ahhh. In second place for the worst is Meet the Spartans. Possibly worse than my parents spending £10 on the What

Happens In Vegas DVD is the fact that I spent £7 on a cinema ticket to see Meet the Spartans. The film is a spoof of 300, which makes me wonder whether if I’d seen 300 I’d understand the jokes a bit better. The only bit I can remember laughing at is the obvious dick joke when one of the Spartans ‘swords’ pokes another guy in the back. But worst of them all is Big Momma’s House. The only thing I can say about this film is if the title isn’t enough to turn you off watching it, there’s something wrong with you. Martin Lawrence stars as an FBI agent who disguises himself as ‘Big Momma’ so that he can protect a woman he fancies and her son under the witness protection program. ‘Hilarity’ ensues. That’s all you need to know, don’t waste your time watching it. So there you have it, films to avoid and films to give a go. We all need a little comedy in our lives after all!

Also, beyond the roles of the wives and of Henry VIII himself, the two actors break the fourth wall between audience and performance. There lies a bigger narrative than the actual performance, which is the narrative between the two actors and their efforts to “put aside their differences and make it through to the end without killing each other”. This is all part of the show, and boy, is it laid on thick. The constant break of character, is at first comical, but will shortly began to irritate. Coupled with the awkward on-stage arguments between McLoughlin and Coggins, the audience was left feeling a little uncomfortable, wondering when the next costume change would come. The age rating – 14+ – was definitely

a decision worth reviewing: innuendos are aplenty, Coggins pulls his trousers down and is left in his underwear one too many times and the threat of seeing McLoughin’s exclamation mark took away from the truly hilarious moments. Britain’s Got (Clerical) Talent and Blind Date put a genuine smile on my face and I let out a good hearty laugh, but these are overshadowed by moments of theatricals for a cheap giggle. The musical interludes, however, gave some light relief and were also quite catchy - McLoughlin certainly knows his way around a guitar! The constant tangents and confusing references to The Beatles change what began as fairly comical into a performance that was somewhat amateurish.

the six wives of henry viii review

Farah Chowdhury Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived. One of the most memorable and recognisable sayings from any history lesson on Henry VIII delivered through a wonderfully bluesy, yet energetic, song is one of many on the night. Written and performed by Stu McLoughlin and Howard Coggins, the dynamic duo take on, as the title suggests, The Six Wives Of Henry VIII. The show opened with a simple set, with Coggins as Henry VIII sat centre stage on a sofa. The performance began with a mini narrative taking the audience back to the conception of the play, which was confusing at first, but was shortly explained by McLoughlin and Coggins before the real theatrical experience could begin. The show ran through the trials and tribulations of Henry VIII, with both characters taking on numerous roles from Henry VII, Arthur to Barbie dolls. The duo take on this history with a musically comical twist; with songs about the tale of each wife. The play includes many a costume change and a fact or two about the importance of a dynastic alliance.


this week in... 1984: 14th February British ice skating duo Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean won the Olympic Gold medal in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia. The couple scored maximum points at the Zetra Stadium for their performance of Ravel’s Bolero.

2005: 18th February Fox hunting with dogs became illegal in England and Wales after a ban came into force overnight. Anti-hunting activists celebrated the introduction of the ban, whilst the Countryside Alliance said many hunts would be out in force at the weekend. 1997: 22nd February Scientists in Scotland announced the birth of Dolly the sheep, the world’s first successfully cloned mammal. Dolly was the first mammal to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell; previous clonings had been from embryo cells.

1966: 3rd March The BBC announced plans to begin broadcasting television in colour, to come into fruition in 1967. Britain was the first country in Europe to offer regular programming in colour. 1969: 4th March The Kray twins, Ronald and Reginald, faced life sentences after being found guilty of murder at the Central Criminal Court. The jury deliberated for six hours and 55 minutes before returning the unanimous guilty verdict for the murder of Jack McVitie.


IQ Culture

pause for thought A s it’s the Valentine’s Day issue,

and here at InQuire we like to see both sides of the story, we’ve roped in Percival Cleft to sum up the anti-Valentine’s feelings in the form of a poem.

Valentine’s day is a waste of time, Commercialisation at its prime Once a year it comes around, To steal our hard-earned English pound. Another time for us who are single, To sit in the dark and gorge on Pringles. Time to feel unwanted, that’s the issue, Left to sit with a computer and a shameful tissue. You couples prance with joy and glee, Flashing your love for all to see. Well go elsewhere, you hear me say, Love is not just for one day. Yes, I’m writing a massive moan, Because this day makes me groan. You buy soppy cards and tenpicked roses, Rubbing it in single’s noses. I don’t want to fire Cupid’s bow, Just to make this day grow. Stop buying cards and mushy teddies, Don’t give away your precious reddies. So don’t celebrate this Valentine’s Day Stay at home, that’s what I say. Don’t go for dinner or see a play, Leave this sickening time to decay. But as I’m lonely and it’s a little late, Would anyone like to be my date?

valentine’s day around the world

Emily Bright

Saint Valentine’s Day is a holiday dedicated to portrayals of love and passion. It’s also the only date which can incite equal amounts of sheer excitement and uncontrollable bitterness within the population. No matter your relationship status; the clichéd gifting of flowers, chocolates and anything heart-shaped is known to everyone. Is this materialistic, westernised tradition the way all nationalities celebrate 14th February? Looking into different cultures, there are variety of ways that countries around the world enjoy the holiday. England has not always equated Valentine’s Day with romantic love: it has been said that it wasn’t until Geoffrey Chaucer alluded to the connection in his poem Parliament Of Fowls that the two were linked. Traditionally, countries such as Slovenia also avoid romantic associations. Instead, the agricultural community considers Valentine as the patron saint of spring and therefore symbolises a need to begin work in the fields. The Finnish equally disregard the stereotypical focus on romance, instead recognising 14th February as Friend’s Day and emphasising platonic love and companionship.

The majority of nations do, however, recognise Cupid at play and the classic romantic element of the holiday Denmark, for instance, traditionally champions love through the sending of Valentine’s notes. This convention allegedly originated from Valentine himself, who sent the first Valentine’s card to his jailer’s daughter when imprisoned. Danes take an original stance on the typical message as the sender encodes their name, replacing it with a series of dots. If the receiver of the note is able to identify the admirer they are rewarded with a chocolate egg on Easter Sunday. For countries such as Japan and South Korea, this one day celebration of love is not enough. Instead they strive to lengthen festivities over a month, incorporating 14th March as White Day. Whereas on Valentine’s Day women must send gifts to their loved ones the following month, men must return the favour - customarily by gifting a more lavish present than they themselves received. South Korea go even further to incorporate everyone into their celebration, by also forming Black Day on 14th April, which is when singletons find their time to shine, gathering to eat jajangmyeon (noodles in black sauce - hence the name of the day) and

alternatively celebrating not being in love. France, as the nation of love, historically celebrated Valentine’s Day in a questionable manner through Une Loterie D’amour. The tradition required single men and women to enter houses opposite one another before attempting to entice a partner through calling to them from a window. If after coupling off in this way, a man found his suitor unattractive he could abandon her in search of another. The bitter woman would then create a bonfire to ceremoniously burn the pictures of her deserter. Although it is undoubtable that an Americanised version of Valentine’s Day has reached many countries around the world, it is refreshing to see some retain their own traditional and individual stance. So, instead of heading to the florists or jewellers, why not test one of the practices listed above, whilst perhaps avoiding any bitter, ceremonious bonfires?

underwear to two-for-one dinner vouchers, and cheesy pick-up lines and sex tips are the standard in magazine articles. But is this stress too much for us all to bear? A 2004 study showed couples were 2.55 times more likely to break up during the weeks leading up to and after Valentine’s Day compared with any other time. Our obsession with pairing up is made even easier by modern technology; nowadays, even the internet can track our relationships. Have you ever noticed how if your Facebook status is single, then you get a lot more adverts about dating websites? There are also countless ways to meet people through websites like Match. com, and even fetish specialists like In 2012, over 11 million more texts were sent on Valentine’s Day than any other day in

February; so much for traditional love letters. Kudos to the few devoted paramours who genuinely want to make their dates happy. Like Charles Schulz said: “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Plus, the website Prezzybox announced in 2013 that personalised gifts are on the rise, which hopefully means a bit more sentiment is going into our selections. In fact, Kantar World Panel’s statistics showed that the average Brit spends £119 on Valentine’s festivities. Yikes, now that’s devotion; it’s more than double what I get for a birthday present. On the other hand, for singles or first-time dates, the pressure to receive a perfect present is awful. Chocolates, cards and roses become a badge of honour; the more you have, the more you can brag. Why subject yourself to this compulsory coupledom? In the end, Valentine’s is just another day of the year. It will come, it will pass and the world will keep on spinning as always. The next time someone asks me “Do you have a date for Valentines day?” I’m just going to reply ,“yes, 14th February”. I’ll keep them guessing about the rest!

is our society obsessed with compulsory coupledom?

Georgia Dawson

With Friday 14th February upon us, Saint Valentine’s is the talk of the town yet again, so cue that inevitable scramble to find a date-for-the-day. This obsession with finding a partner is called ‘Compulsory Coupledom’ and it’s sadly prevalent in our society. We want to feel that we are attractive, so we flaunt our relationships as proof, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to do so. With 14% of women even sending themselves flowers to dull the lonely ache of being single, it seems as though romance is well and truly dead. Let’s face it; we all enjoy a bit of love, but maybe too much. Whenever I watch a celebrity interview, questions always turn to who they’re dating and where the relationship is going. We even combine names into cutesy parodies like Brangelina, as if they somehow merge into a single person. Nowadays, the gossip and social status that comes with being in a couple seems to eclipse any sentimental feelings involved. It’s a publicity stunt, and that’s just sad. Pressure to find a date is everywhere too. Television adverts offer us everything from advice on sexy

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pietersen and flower lose their wicket Henry Sandercock

IN accordance with Darwinism, it is widely accepted that there are two ends to the human gene-pool. In the deep-end swim those blessed with common sense and in the shallow-end stand those who, in an apocalypse movie, would not make it beyond the title sequence. The England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) are seemingly stranded in the middle; an exhausted swimmer at the furthest point away from the lifeguard, unsure whether to sink or swim. There appears to be some common sense in the ECB as well as an infestation of sheer idiocy. This Jekyll and Hyde nature has really come to the fore this past week. The ECB’s decision to allow Andy Flower’s resignation was regrettable but necessary. As much as we blame the players for the Ashes capitulation, the buck ultimately stops with the coach.

The way in which England did not adapt throughout the series, even when they were merely playing for pride, denoted a coaching staff out of ideas. However, I will not indulge in a character assassination of a man who has taken England from the lows of Peter Moores’

reign to 3 consecutive ashes series and a number one test ranking. His work in changing a group of under-achieving players into a team of consistent winners was admirable. Yet, like the current Manchester United team, the

England squad are in need of a drastic overhaul. Had Flower ‘done a Ferguson’ and jumped ship at the point where his team had gone over the peak, we might currently be sympathising with a Moyesesque coach left to pick up the pieces.

But Flower, admirably, went down with his ship. His lack of player- rotation and seeming unwillingness to blood new talent ultimately cost him and England this winter. It was honourable of him to offer his resignation and it was correct of the ECB to accept it. This wisdom sits opposite to their ludicrous decision to retire Kevin Pietersen from international cricket. Over the years, Pietersen has been an angel and an antagonist: scoring runs at crucial junctures before spectacularly getting himself out. He is a maverick: brilliant and frustrating in equal measure. Transition has to be slow in any squad overhaul and at the age of 33, Pietersen only has a couple of years left in him. So why not keep him on whilst he is still producing the goods? The term no-brainer comes to mind but that is sadly what the ECB appear to be: brainless. Let’s hope they can learn how to swim before they sink, with a trip to the West Indies next.

howzat for a bucs result broncos stunned by dominant seahawks Matthew Durrell ON Sunday the cricket 1st team travelled to the University of East London to complete their final set of group fixtures in the London & South East division. Having previously recorded four victories from as many games, their destiny was in their own hands as they aimed to reach the national semi-final stage for the third year running. The first fixture against City University ended prematurely in bizarre circumstances as the opposition were found to be fielding an ineligible player and UKC were promptly awarded the match after only two overs. The second fixture of the day was against London South Bank and after winning the toss and electing to bat first, UKC amassed a mammoth 150 from our 10 overs with significant contributions from Buzz Gould, Freddie Hulbert and Adam Dobson. South Bank’s chase of the total was fraught right from the start with two wickets falling in Matt Durrell’s first over. Wickets continued to fall as South Bank struggling to 24-5 before being dismissed for just 57 as UKC’s sharp fielding producing several

run outs. The final fixture was against also unbeaten University of East London in a winner takes all match. Once again batting first UKC posted 107 largely thanks to 41 from Buzz Gould and Freddie Hulbert’s 22. Disciplined bowling from Adam Ball and Matt Durrell, combined with athleticism in the field lead to UEL batsman being dismissed in each of the first two overs. Ryan Gilmour and Adam Dobson continued the good work with the ball in hand as wickets fell at consistent intervals. Four run outs meant UEL were finally dismissed for just 63 with Freddie’s diving catch off Gilmour finishing proceedings. The boys now progress to the Southern Finals at Southampton on March 8th, where they will face the likes of Exeter, Bath and Bristol for a chance to face the winner from the North. To keep up to date with how the University of Kent’s Cricket team get on, visit their Facebook page UKCCricket or on Twitter by following @UKCCricketClub.

Stuart Smith THE Seattle Seahawks scored an unanswered 36 points on their way to beating the Denver Broncos 43-8 to win the Vince Lombardi trophy for the first time in the franchise’s history. In a match that was widely expected to be won by a single score, the Seahawks were on the front foot from the very start, taking a two point lead early into the first quarter when a mix-up between Broncos’

Centre Manny Ramirez and Quarterback Peyton Manning led to a safety with just 12 seconds played. That early score set precedence for the rest of the match. The Seahawks went into half time 22-0 up after touchdowns from Marshawn Lynch and Malcolm Smith, as well as two field goals and two successful PAT attempts from kicker Steven Hauschka. The beginning of the second half was no more successful

than the first for Denver, the kick-off being returned for an 87 yard touchdown. Whilst Peyton Manning’s performance was largely disappointing, littered with interceptions and chargeddown pass attempts, a brief glimpse of his quality shone through at the end of the third quarter, when Denver picked up 4 consecutives first downs before Demaryius Thomas’ reception in the end zone for the Broncos solitary score of the game – but not before Jermaine Kearse’s 23 yard touchdown reception for Seattle. There was no let up from the Seahawks in the final quarter, a sixth touchdown of the game completing the scoring. Broncos fans were visibly stunned with the result. The slight favourites going into the game came off the field at the close understandably upset and downtrodden. Peyton Manning did not announce his retirement after the game as I had predicted in the last edition and looks set to continue as Denver’s starting Quarterback next year despite the franchise’s interest in a stud QB in May’s upcoming NFL draft.

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france leave it late to break english hearts Natalie Tipping

THE atmosphere at the Stade de France on the first day of Six Nations matches was absolutely incredible. In the spirit of friendly competition, all the supporters had been sat together. No separation of home/away supporters, just one huge crowd looking forward to a great game of rugby. Nobody was left disappointed in that regard. Admittedly, the England fans faces did fall when France secured their first seven points with a try and conversion after less a minute. England had arguably gone into the match as favourites, but the lads looked discouraged following this early hit. They soon got a few points back with a penalty and an unconverted try however, but overall the French dominated the first 40 minutes. It has to be said that our handling for the first half was pretty terrible, a fault which France managed to use to their

great advantage, ending the first half in the lead by 16 points to England’s 8. Following the break and what one can imagine was a rather stern team talk, the English players looked more focused at the start of the second half. Indeed, only two minutes into the second half the English comeback was on, with Danny Care appearing to score a try. The video referee soon quashed the English fans’

euphoria however, as the try was denied. The players were not put off and soon Farrell reduced England’s deficit by another three points with a penalty. France then attacked well and looked to be on course for another five points, if it weren’t for the well placed English defence of Lawes and Launchbury. England secured a turnover and made a stunning run to

what was now becoming the ‘lucky end’ of the pitch to score an incredible try. After Farrell converted, England were now two points ahead. The comeback was most definitely on, with England having scored 18 points on the bounce. For the second half of the game the England team were an even match for the French side. Soon after taking the lead, Danny Care managed to land a sneaky three points from an unexpected drop goal, pushing England’s lead to five points. The teams were both playing well, securing turnovers at both ends of the pitch to make the game not only very exciting to watch, but tense as well. Nobody in the stadium could quite believe that England had managed to come back so well following the break, but the chorus of “allez les bleus” from the French fans was propelling their team to keep attacking well. The comeback from the comeback started in the 70th minute of play, with French

player Maxime Machenaud scoring a penalty to put his team only two points behind with ten minutes left of the game. England soon fired again with another three points from a penalty, hoping that would be enough to stave off the French team with only seven minutes left of the match. The English fans could not believe it, therefore, when the combination of Fickou and Machenaud managed to score the game-winning seven points with only two minutes to go. Surrounded by French supporters, I was commiserated by the blues fans as they jumped up and down singing La Marseillaise and celebrating what was bound to be a French victory. England fought to the very last second, but when the French player Brice Dulin kicked the ball out of bounds the match was over. A disappointing end to an incredible match, but with the gracious atmosphere in Paris, English fans still went home with smiles on their faces.

is the magic of the fa cup gone? deadline day round up Bradley Russell YOU could be forgiven, after watching Chelsea’s lifeless 1-0 win over Stoke in the FA Cup Fourth Round, for thinking that the magic of the FA Cup had well and truly disappeared behind European and survival aspirations. However, the Fifth Round promises to bring back the drama of the world’s oldest cup competition. Ties between Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester City and Chelsea are bound to be brilliant and, at the other end of the scale, teams such as Charlton and Brighton can dream of cup glory - and isn’t that what the FA Cup is all about? In a period where football is dominated by money and shorttermism, it is refreshing to see so many smaller teams have a real go at achieving success in the FA Cup. Wigan overcame the odds and beat Manchester City last year and had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to play in Europe. Where else in the world would a team get relegated one season and play in Europe the next?

The FA Cup can be a distraction for some but every fan will always dream of Wembley. The success and stories that a trip to Wembley inevitably bring will be remembered far more in twenty years time than a 15thplaced finish in the Premier League. That feeling will always remain and it is unique to the FA Cup. Cynical managers and pundits alike may only care about the next round of Premier League games but there are signs that the popularity of the FA Cup has improved massively this season. The Third Round had its highest collective attendance in over 30 years and six of the

eight quarter final spots are guaranteed to be taken by teams outside of the Premier League. The likelihood of one of those becoming the first team since West Ham in 1980 to win the FA Cup whilst out of the top flight is high, and that can only be good for neutral spectators. The FA Cup definitely isn’t what it once was, but there are signs that it is returning to its previous glory. It may not be the focal point of the season anymore but the FA Cup will always mean so much to so many teams, and their fans, in England. The fairytale victories, the cup upsets and the classic games are here to stay.

George Dagless IT was a reasonably quiet window compared to some previous years, but there were still some deals that caught the eye. Arguably the biggest transfer was that of Juan Mata, joining Manchester United from Chelsea for a fee around £37 million as United aim for a Champions League spot. Crystal Palace were one of the most active teams in the window signing five players on deadline day. Tom Ince, Scott Dann, Wayne Hennessey and Joe Ledley were all new faces at Selhurst Park, with Jason Puncheon making his loan deal from Southampton a permanent move. The most active Premier League team, however was Fulham, bolstering their squad with seven players, Johnny Heitinga, Lewis Holtby, Konstantinos Mitroglou, Ryan Tunnicliffe, Larnell Cole, Clint Dempsey and William Kvist all join the Cottagers in their fight for survival. West London neighbours Chelsea were the biggest

spenders, Nemanja Matic joined from Benfica and winger Mohamed Salah was bought in from FC Basel. The Blues also signed young French defender Kurt Zouma for £12 million, though he stays in France until the end of the current campaign. Joining Zouma in Ligue 1 are Yohan Cabaye who joined PSG from Newcastle and Dimitar Berbatov who signed for Monaco. Jermaine Defoe also packed his Premier League bags to ply his trade in the MLS for Toronto, leaving Tottenham. Elsewhere, Aiden McGeady joined Everton from Spartak Moscow and Hull strengthened their striking options with the acquisitions of Shane Long and Nikica Jelavic. West Ham signed Italian duo Marco Boriello and Antonio Nocerino from AS Roma and AC Milan respectively. Kenwyne Jones signed for Cardiff and Peter Odemwingie went the other way to Stoke in a swap deal. Also joining Cardiff were youngsters Wilfried Zaha and Fabio Da Silva. One final deal saw Arsenal signing solely Kim Kallstrom.

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InQuire sport the winter olympics begin in russia

George Dagless THE Winter Olympics begin in Sochi this month so let’s reflect upon which sports will provide the most entertainment and which might just provide a medal for Great Britain. Let’s not beat about the bush, we as a nation do not have massive pedigree when it comes to winter sports. However, in many ways this is a good thing. It means that us at home can watch sports we’re not really accustomed to at the highest level, whilst the British athletes go into the games without real

pressure and can just enjoy the experience of performing against some of the world’s best. There are a few British hopefuls with a chance of glory though, in particular, James Woods and Katie Summerhayes in ski slopestyle. Also, representing Team GB are Elise Christie in short track speed skating, Shelley Rudman in the skeleton and Eve Muirhead in curling, who all offer genuine competition to the rest of the world. Even if they do not succeed, however, there are plenty of sports for the armchair

spectator to enjoy. Ice Hockey: The perennial winter sport, spectators can expect strong showings from the North Americans, Scandinavian nations and the home team Russia as they battle for ice supremacy. The sport is a fiery one, with no doubt a few fights on the way. Free style ski cross: This takes classic skiing and turns it on its head. Imagine skiing down a slope having to concentrate on mastering every corner and jump. Now imagine three

others coming down there with you and it’s a race. It promises close quarter jostling and almost inevitably a lot of crashes. Bobsleigh: Teams of two or four take four runs down an icy track, with the lowest combined time winning. Once the sleigh starts, it doesn’t slow down until the finish line, (right way up) or not and yes, Cool Runnings fans, there is a Jamaican team competing. Skeleton: Think Bobsleigh’s nuts? Have a look at the skeleton.

Using the same format as the bobsleigh, Skeleton consists of four runs down an icy track, with the competitor with the lowest overall time winning. The difference from Bobsleigh? Competitors go one by one on a small sled face down with their chin inches from the ice. The Winter Olympics raised its curtain on 7th February with the Opening Ceremony, with competition lasting until the 23rd. Time to sit back and become specialists of sports you’ve never heard of, cheering on Team GB all the way.

InQuire 9.10  

InQuire, 14th February