ISSUE #6
SPECIAL EDITION
InMind Magazine
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Table of Contents Editor’s Note - 4
ISSUE SIX
Raleigh’s Hidden Talent: Absent Lovers - 6
Looking for new music to fill your ears? Raleigh has some musical talent that you must check out!
Sometimes You Have to Get Lost to Find the Beautiful Things in Life: An Interview with Matt Wong - 10 Get behind the lens with this up and coming photographer in this interview.
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The Poetry Block: Our Featured Poem - 13 Our featured poem for this issue.
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Want to explore something new? Venture into new music terrority with this interview.
ISSUE SIX
Venturing into New Music Depths: Happy Abandon - 14
Book Review: Recommendations for the Creative Spirit in a Slump - 20 Need a new book to indulge in? Check out these book reviews for the creative spirit.
Dealing with The Big D: Facts, Figures and Anecdotal Experience - 22
Depression can get anyone down in the dumps. Check out these facts about “The Big D.�
Table of Contents InMind Magazine
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Editor’s Note
W
elcome to InMind Magazine! The online art and culture magazine focused on exploring what people define as art in their own minds and worlds. You all are in for a treat! We are celebrating our one year anniversary of InMind Magazine and we are so happy to still have you embarking on this journey with us. We plan on making this art and culture magazine even bigger and more engaging and it is all thanks to our wonderful readers like you. Thank you so much for keeping us motivated and on our toes and we hope you continue to follow us as we start to make BIG CHANGES! To celebrate, we have decided to give you more to interesting and thought-provoking articles to read and NO ADVERTISMENTS this issue! As always, thank you all for your loving support of this magazine and HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSAY!
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Meet Our Team Tanisha Harrelson Editor-in-Chief
Tree
Assistant Editor-in-Chief
Lauren Coffey Staff Writer
Maria White Staff Writer
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Photo Credit: Chris Larr
Raleigh’s Hidden Talent:
Absent Lovers By Tanisha Harrelson
M
usic has been known to be the
shadows of the Raleigh downtown area. Yet,
gateway to the human soul. You can
these talented artists are eager to be found.
find music just about anywhere. The
We explored the hidden underground world of
best places are usually the ones that are right
music and were able to talk to two members
underneath your nose. We are talking about
of a local band located in the Raleigh area.
the local talent that seems to be hiding in the
They call themselves Absent Lovers.
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How It All Started In the year 2013, current members Dylan Marcone and Drew Smith came together with similar interest and passion in music to form the band named Absent Lovers. With their personal visions of what they expected from this newly created band, Marcone and Smith wanted other members who shared the same love for music as they do. The
“We are not into the idea of putting Absent Lovers into a corner. We are open to change and I think this is reflected in the lyrics too.” -Drew Smith
current members that make up the band include: Dylan Marcone the lead vocalist and guitarist, Drew Smith who plays the guitar and keyboard, Tom Miller the drummer, and Matthew Farrow the bass player. The band has gone through a few changes but has been able to still maintain their creativity and artistic vision for their music. Inspirations and Influences Absent Lovers strive to deliver messages that help people relate to the world around them. With technology taking over our lives, the message that the band wants to convey is just how much technology has influenced our actions and daily routines. Some of their lyrics are influenced by the idea of dystopian societies that have been taken over by computers and other technological advances that have overrun human lives. You can see some of these influences from works of fiction like The Matrix, 1984, Bladrunner, and other well-known dystopia movies. Of course, this is just some of the topics that you will hear about in their lyrics. Dylan Marcone, the lead vocalist, mentions that “A lot of lyrics come
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from those influences. We want to capture the uncertainty and anxiety of the computer age. Whether or not our music reflects that, we want to have music that is fun and accessible and stimulating but we also want the lyrical content to be intellectually engaging.” The band strives to be diverse with their own style. “We’re not shooting for a genre. The one thing that inspired me was artists that did not fit into one genre. We want to be instantly recognizable with our own style” states Drew Smith, the guitarist. When asked about what kind of genre the group would label themselves, they describe their sound as having no one particular genre. Smith continues by saying “We are not into the idea of putting Absent Lovers into a corner. We are open to change and I think this is reflected in the lyrics too.” There are several other artists and bands that influence their sounds such as Rush and King Crimson which the name “Absent Lovers” derives from. Yet, if you had to put a genre name to the sound of Absent Lovers, you could call it cyberpunk which is a
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Photo Credit: Chris Larr genre more closely associated with fiction and
have a great sound that people can enjoy and
film.
relate to. Smith mentions that “If you rehearse and do cool songs and engage the audience,
As of Now
people will continue to come see you. Now
Preparation is key to the success of any band
we’re starting to have strangers come out
that has the goal to reach others through
and listen.” You can find Absent Lovers
their music. “We want to go into it with
performing in some of the local music venues
confidence and make sure we are prepared”
in downtown Raleigh such as Neptunes, Kings
says Marcone. To keep themselves on their
Barcade, and The Pour House. The band tries
toes, the group practices at least once a week
not to overbook in too many places since the
but sometimes 2-3 times a week when there
music scene in Raleigh is still relatively small.
is a show. Their passion and preparation can
“We try to not overbook and try to wait for
be seen their performance each time they hit
them to come to us. There may be a band
the stage. Absent Lovers seems to have a good
coming into town that may ask us to play for
grip on what is truly needed to continue to
them” states Smith.
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“The vision that we have right now is to take some of the older music that inspire
When it comes to music, the band wants to be able to make their own sounds and keep rock and roll alive and going. They want to keep
us and a dozen other artists and we
it relevant and adaptable. They wish to hold
want to take that and combine it with
on to that guitar sounds yet add new sounds
what people are interested in now.” -Dylan Marcone Goals for Absent Lovers
to their music as well. The band’s goal is to challenge themselves and write the kind of music that they want to hear. “The vision that we have right now is to take some of the older music that inspire us and a dozen other artists
No band is a band without having goals to
and we want to take that and combine it with
successfully reach for. When asked about their
what people are interested in now. We want
goals, we found out that Absent Lovers have
to pull from the old and the new and create
been working on their own record for the past
something unique” stated Marcone.
two years and should be coming to completion
Absent Lovers also tries to work with other
in two months. Besides completing their first
artists to build up the music scene in the
record soon, the group hopes to continue to
Raleigh area. On top of working with other
do more promoting for their music as they
artists, they wish to produce something that
move forward. As the band comes closer to
inspires people. When you see Absent Lovers
completing their first album, they wish to
perform, you can see just how much work
reach out to other music venues in the triangle
is put into what they do. Both Smith and
area. When asked why they have not reached
Marcone agree that they truly enjoy what
out more to other music venues in the area,
they do despite the time and resources that
Macrone says that “We really been trying to
are needed to make these things happen.
hold off on going to other places until we have
Driven by their love for music and passion for
establish ourselves and laid down a presence.
delivering informative and inspiring messages,
We have been working on this record for
we can certainly expect to see a lot more in
about two years.” He further explains other
the future from this hidden local talent.
reason why by saying “If we don’t have something physical to put into their hands or something that they will remember us by, then they will forget us by the time we go to the next town.” Absent Lovers hopes to continue making music and putting it in people’s lives. With constant changes in the way people view
Check out their music at absentlovers.bandcamp.com and treat your ears to something good.
music, the band also hopes to inspire others.
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Sometimes You Have to Get Lost to Find the Beautiful Things in Life: An interview with Matt Wong By Tree
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owadays, it would seem that it wouldn’t take much skill or prior thought to pick up a camera and
take a decent photo. So, what makes Matt Wong, a local ambitious photographer from the Raleigh area, stand out from the average Photographer Joe? I met Matt at his very first art exhibit on a First Friday last Autumn. Admiring his photos, I felt a deep connection with the pictures, and ultimately Matt. I couldn’t wait to meet Matt again and I longed to hear the backstory of these pictures. I’m confident that at the end of the short article, you will appreciate learning about Matt as much as I did. Matt’s love affair with photography started at an inquisitive time in his life. He was 13, and new to the Raleigh area when he picked up an old Pentax film camera and headed downtown to photograph the undiscovered
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Photo Credit: Matt Wong
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city. He quickly found his knack for snapping the pictures of things that tend to go unnoticed; the people behind every day life, and architectural buildings that busied people walk by every day. Matt finds his inspiration from simply getting lost in cities. He absorbs himself in the atmosphere and tries to embody the local rhythm in his photographs. His dedication to capturing the cities essence gives his photos an authentic feel “Sometimes you have to get lost to find the beautiful things in life,” says Matt. Following that motto, Matt takes opportunities to travel to new cities, and through his photos he has managed to leave his artistic view on the area, as if branding his exploration. Photography is a skill that can be learned and mastered. Scientifically, there is a method behind a seamless picture. But, any successful photographer will tell you that it involves
“We’re all a part of something bigger. Every city, every town has its own personality. The next time you visit a city, step outside your comfort zone and don’t do the whole tourist route. Try looking at it in the resident’s eyes. Then you can see the beauty. And it’s the beauty you cannot put a price on.” - Matt Wong
more than just science to grab their audiences emotions. You must have or develop “the eye”. But what exactly is “the eye?” For Matt, it could be likened to a natural science. His “eye” is constantly on the lookout for patterns and symmetry between unrelated and often unimpressionable objects. Together, coupled with his love for exaggerated shadows and extreme symmetry, it relates for breathtaking photos in perspectives undiscovered.
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Another thing that stands out about Matt and his photography is the fluidity in which he incorporates his personality and his mood into his pictures. His pictures have this effortless translation that allows even the most foreign or mundane of object to seem relatable. Whether it’s a picture of a car parked beside a sky-rise building downtown, or a worker tossing trout into a bucket on the streets of
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Photo Credit: Matt Wong San Francisco, Matt’s pictures are sure to leave a familial comfort You might see, or have already seen him walking around, and when you see him, he might seem a little lost - but just know that through the pictures Matt captures during his wandering adventures, he is not only connecting with the
You can admire Matt Wong’s photos at: www. mattwongphoto.com or Instagram: @Matt.wongphoto
world around him but with every snap, he’s managing to find his way back home.
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The Poetry Block Our Featured Poem
Indecisive Drift By Maria White Treading along naĂŻve, foolish not to affirm my nearing fate. Weighted thoughts recycle themselves onto the sinking shore, Contours of their impressions slowly wane. Waves swell, lunar craters engulf any rational morale. Anchored by a past of weathered debris, I dive Into lucid waters muddled by brackish undertones. Remnants of brine linger, attempting to revive Memories submerged to depths unknown. Breath purposely deprived to constrict blood flow These salted wounds rekindle a bitter Past now buried in gritty conflict. No longer considered a reverent symbol. Waves cease to ebb and flow with a horizon unsteady.
Seems I have swam these currents already.
Keep up with each issue’s featured poetry. Do you have a poem you want to share? Send it in! Submit your poetry to info@inmindmagazine.com. It could be your poem one day!
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Venturing into New Music Depths:
Happy Abandon By Lauren Coffey
I
ventured to downtown Raleigh on a beautiful Saturday morning to
conduct an interview with Happy Abandon, an up and coming orchestral rock quartet, the members of which are all UNC- Chapel Hill alumni. It was warm Saturday in early April, and they were setting up to playing a sold out show at The Pour House. The members of the band are: Justin, the bass Peter, the guitar/vocals Jake, the drummer. Alex, the keys and the programmer. Unfortunately, Alex Thompson, was unable to perform at The Pour House or participate in the interview due to his role as Associate Music Director in a theatrical production of Sweeney Todd in Chapel Hill. Yes, I know that sounds awesome. In his absence, the band members articulated much appreciation and reverence of Alex’s vast experience as a musician and a programmer.
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To cope with Alex’s void, the band “stuffs Alex’s soul” into their laptop and must time themselves to match Alex, as he plays through the laptop. The laptop recording is used mostly to maintain their collective sound. To execute accuracy the band must rely on the tempos and signals of one another because in music and in life, timing and teamwork are everything. Looking on the bright side, Jake, the drummer, recounts that Alex’s absence has pushed the
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remaining band members to experiment with different instruments and techniques. They also, quite endearingly, place a framed photo of Alex on stage and introduce him to the audience before they tear into their set. We talked over burgers at Chucks, a nearby restaurant, while Happy Abandon described their one year band history, meeting each other through past separate projects and various local music scenes and then finally coalescing in 2015, producing their first ever collective EP, Heavy Lines. I also asked them a few wonky questions, to which they kindly obliged, outlining their experiences as aspiring musicians, the intent and structure behind their music, and their debut at the annual 2016 SXSW Music festival in Austin, Texas. Below are the highlights of the interview. Are the songs on “Heavy Lines” a catharsis for any of you? Do they allow you time for self reflection? Peter: That’s a good question for you two. Justin: For me it does. I was a lead singer in a band for a long time, and this is my first time playing in a band where I can just focus all my energy on bass. I don’t have singing or lyrics to
“That’s the thing about writing songs; finding the balance between what I normally go for in my lyrics, and something that is unique and accessible.” -Peter
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convey how I feel; I only use my instrument and my pedals. So I play very aggressively when the song is really angry. My favorite song to play, “Clutter” because--Peter: Because of that bass riff?! Justin: (chuckling) Yeah! And I have so much fun playing because it sounds so twisted and dark, and I’m just angry when I’m playing it. And it feels really great. Peter: To me “Clutter” is one of those songs where the lyrics and the music match perfectly. That was something I was really proud of when I first started writing that song and I write all my music on a basic guitar scale, so when we put [the lyrics] in an environment that is more Happy- Abandon sounding, it just made complete sense. I mean, it’s called “Clutter”, we talk about frequencies in the song, and it’s about getting all that stuff out of your head, so you can appreciate what’s around you. When it comes to the actual song structure and the music itself, it plays with all of these weird dissonant chords, or all these dissonant notes, as well as a weird beat, that like makes sense, but is a bit off. It’s not my favorite song, but it’s definitely one of the better composed songs on the EP. Jake: It’s a song for musicians. I can understand why someone would listen to it and think, “wow” there is too much going on. But if you’re a musician you can really pick apart the song. There is a lot of subtle pieces to it. Peter: Yeah, and the lyrics, too. If you listen to the lyrics, they are definitely relatable to anyone. That’s the thing about writing songs; finding the balance between what I normally go for in my lyrics, and something that is unique and accessible. For example, you can hear something totally accessible, but it’s mundane or repetitive,
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or can have something unique and hard to listen to. Jake: Yeah, like if you hear something and you have no frame of reference.
“If you just listen to the sounds, they evoke emotions on their own, without the words.” - Jake
Peter: Yeah, and it’s so hard to find something new, because music has been around for so long. But you want to create something that’s unique, and something you can also jam to! One of the most frequent thing people say about our live music performances, is that they are really tight, which is reassuring. People also say there is nothing they can compare us to.
Peter: And that’s powerful, it’s weird, that somehow related frequencies can affect you emotionally. And that can be dangerous.
Jake: Yeah, It’s funny the range of bands we get compared to.
Peter: All art can be dangerous because it can make you aware of yourself and things in yourself that you weren’t aware of before.
Listen here: https://happyabandon.bandcamp. com/releases Does music have power? Justin: Yeah. Always. Peter: Power? One hundred percent. I think that’s one of the most powerful things in the world. Especially for anyone who is willing to be vulnerable emotionally. Really any art form, but music especially. Like one of my favorite bands, and one we get compared to a lot. Sigur Ros, an Icelandic post-rock band, who sing in Icelandic, or just sing random gobbledygook in a made up language. Like I have no idea what they are saying, but they affect me emotionally - more so than a lot of bands I listen to. That’s the point. Jake: Sometimes lyrical content muddies the emotional meaning of a song. Not in Peter’s lyrics, but sometimes it’s like, I don’t know, if you just listen to the sounds, they evoke emotions on their own, without the words.
What do you mean, dangerous?
Justin: Yeah, and you’re not prepared to handle it (those emotions). Peter: If you go into music, or art knowing that it is going to affect you emotionally, then you’ll be fine. It’s healthy, it’s good, it makes you more complex as a person, but sometimes it can break you. Yeah I wonder, if that’s why a lot of musicians commit suicide? Peter: Yeah, I didn’t want to say that, but I do think that has more to do with the artist’s own underlying emotional issues and stressful times. Like Elliott Smith, an example of someone who wasn’t afraid to be truthful and blunt about how sad things were or how shitty things were. But sometimes you just want to listen to music and jam to it. But I guess I respect music that has an emotional affect on me a little more. How did you guys run it to Grammy
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Nominated John Custer, aka “The indestructible Godfather of the North Carolina Music Industry”? Jake:. Through a mutual friend. And she was showing him a few CDs from around the area. Well, we met before we were actually a band. Peter: But he was aware that we were all musicians. I think he saw potential in us as individual musicians. Actually he kind of pushed me and Jake to start this project. Jake: Yeah we got together in December of 2014
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and ordered a demo. And then we took it to Alex Thompson and asked, “What can you do with this”? We wanted him to do a whole layer of like sound scaping. Justin: Alex has a really big background in film school and production and doing music for plays. But he’s never been in a regular band before Happy Abandon, especially for this long. Jake: Yeah I was trying to get him for a while, and he played with me once, awhile back, and he was basically like: I, don’t have time for this….
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Peter: I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out with this band. We are able to work really well with each other. I just have so much respect for them as musicians. Peter: Honestly, Jake, the beats you create are exactly that balance between unique and accessible. The beats you create are spot on. Jake (Jokingly): I like wet beats. Hahah But….Computer songwriting gives me that opportunity, because it gives me that very uniquely shaped canvass. As I paint rhythms, (Justin laughing) on this uniquely shaped canvas, by the end of it is still a uniquely shaped canvas. Justin: I hate everybody in this band. Peter: Noooooo! Jake: Awwwww! Jake: There can be no structure without destruction. And Justin just comes in and destroys all the hard work that Peter and I do. (Justin laughing) We write the most beautiful songs and Justin is just like: (unintelligible harsh bass imitations) Bnnn-nunnn Bnnnnnn Bnuuunnuunn! Peter: But it makes for a good show. Justin: Yeah, that’s why they keep me around. Peter: The whole reason we can do this stuff independently is because we can all come together professionally and treat this band like something that we are crazy enough to do as a profession. Because that is insane to want to do that. Instead of having just far-out dreams we are actually putting in the effort to making that happen. What was your experience at SXSW?
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Peter: Without Alex, we had 17 chances to practice, [with the laptop version of Alex], and before that we practiced, like, only a few times. Justin: We sometimes play in weird rooms where we can’t hear each other. But we got compliments on how big our sound is. We all sing, and rely on laptops, and with only the three of us, it means a lot. Peter: Yeah, that’s why I mention the use of the laptop in some of our performances. It is of course accurate, but it doesn’t bring the energy that Alex brings to the stage. Justin: Yeah, playing at SXSW was awesome! We did six shows in four days. Two of them were put on by our good friend Steven Judge, owner of Schoolkids Records, who invited us down to do those shows. When he invited us initially he told us it was only a possibility and that they might not work out. So what we did is, we booked shows all the way to SXSW in Austin and all the way back. We figured that worst-case scenario, we get no shows during SXSW, but at least we see Austin and get to check it out and figure out what we should do to participate in 2017. And then we found out that we got not one, not two shows, but six shows in Austin. Which is why we had 13 shows in a row before we had a day off in St. Louis! But it was wonderful. Some of it was lots of NC connections, and some of it was just finding random show opportunities on various websites. But somehow, with only a few months to do it we got a show in every single town we wanted to play in. The thing I loved about SXSW, I mean the weather is gorgeous, the food is amazing, and the people there are all so helpful, and they get it and know what it’s like to be on tour. People we never met let us stay in their apartment for two nights, and gave us keys to their apartment! Yeah, and it’s just that kind of spirit everywhere. It was… oh my god...I loved it.
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“It was completely uncharted territory for all of us and, it was awesome.” -Justin I can’t wait to go back! Peter: And having that many shows, 13 days in a row, just really showed us that holy moly, we can do this, and we have the stamina and the drive to make these shows successful. Justin: Especially because this was our first tour as Happy Abandon, and we didn’t know any other local bands who went out on tour that long or played any of these towns. It was completely uncharted territory for all of us and, it was awesome.. Peter: I cannot wait for the next one! I am itching to start touring again. Justin: It’s weird, we’ve only been home a week since the tour and it feels like forever. But at SXSW every show was packed and we met people and bands from all over. Like, we’re now friends with a band from Colorado called Tyto Alba that we met playing a show with in Oklahoma City. We had the opportunity to meet people from all over the country. It’s crazy. It was so cool to just triple the amount of musical folk I know outside of North Carolina. I loved it. And we’re going on tour again for about 24 days this August!
music careers blossom. So if you’re an aspiring musician, take heed: there appears to be some self-reflection involved, a lot of shows and tours, experimentation, and experience that goes into this whole music career thing! But the rewards of community and doing what you love seem to trump the sleepless nights! To the listeners, I encourage you all to run a hot bath light some candles, smoke a doobie, if that’s your thing and let Happy Abandon’s melodic dissonant sound take you to the depth of your being, or just enjoy the damn songs as you please!
Check out their website for more, including tour dates, bios and discography: www.happyabandonmusic. com
Purchase and listen to Heavy Lines here: https://happyabandon. bandcamp.com/releases
I’m excited to see what these intelligent and talented dudes come up with next! I hope we’ll continue to tune in as Happy Abandon’s
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Book Review:
Recommendations for the Creative Spirit in a Slump By Maria White
A
re you undergoing a creative lull? Have you ever been hesitant to find and express
your inner spirit? Usually those kinds of questions get slid under the metaphorical rug. We tell ourselves “I don’t really have time to address this. It will work itself out.” Though this is not the kind of question that will stop in its tracks and leave you be. It has the potential to pester you and keep you from trying new challenges. In fact, the first thing to do is approach this problem as a new ‘chapter’ of your life. Here are some books (speaking of chapters) that will get you in touch with your inner creative spirit. In general, it is easier to take advice from relatives outside of our nuclear family. There is less pressure to succeed, but the level of incentive to follow through remains about the same. While they may not always have the right answer, your family
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knows you better than most. My Aunt was recommended a book entitled The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity during a time where others around her were going through a significant change in her life. This book prompted her to reflect on her life and ultimately, pursue a new career that she did not believe was possible. The exercises that make up this 12-week read require three pages of morning writings and a weekly block of two hours spent observing your environment. Feel free to make these evening writings if you are more of a night owl! The prompts are open-
ended enough, allowing you to conjure up multiple thoughts/art projects to elaborate upon at a later time. I highly recommend planning when you intend to start this book as there are certain ‘obstacles’ that the prompts present. For example, theres a week where they do not want you to read other novels. You will get great insight from the writings if you plan accordingly and do not view this as a chore. The author of Women Who Run with Wolves has spent two decades researching the archetype of ‘the wild woman’ to help women reconnect with their natural instinctual spirit. Included within this book are short myths followed by explanations and themes that interpret them. Estes believes that women and wolves share a spiritual bond in their devotion as a caretaker. These myths are not your typical ‘Brothers Grimm tale,’ making it less like a school literature class and more like an extracurricular exploration. The book does not require you to journal, nor do you have to read it chronologically to become empowered. A reviewer on Amazon.com mentioned that they read this book once a year to gain different perspectives. And men can read it, too! What I like about these books is that they were written before the turn of the century, making them ‘classics’ that have stood the test of time. They conjure up a spirit within us that, due to the overwhelming amount of information surrounding us daily, has been made dormant. Stay tuned for personal reflections on these books on our blog: (inmindmagazine.wordpress.com)!
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Dealing with The Big D: Facts, Figures and Anecdotal Experience By Lauren Coffey
D
epression has emerged as the mental malady of the 21st century. I’m not sure if I just got older and more aware,
but before about 2011 I didn’t really think about depression, or really know of anyone having it. At least, they didn’t make it known to me. It’s funny because I ran into and am still battling my own low level depression that I began to develop around the age of 19. I didn’t think about it, or have my depression professionally diagnosed until about two years ago. At the height of my depression, I felt this
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gnawing sinking feeling hovering over my life. I’ve always had anxiety, but I never talked about it with anyone or really thought of it as anxiety. Usually I would just scream at my fears in my head or try to cram my paranoid thoughts down, down ( I say!) and sometimes, if my thoughts really, really bothered me I would tell my mom, who would swat her hand at it, and try to make light of my fears. Fear was fear, feelings came and went, but all of sudden, as I aged, my emotions involved a type of constant gloomy, unmotivated, self-loathing state. My fleeting cyclical cynical thoughts buried my quirky, sweet, excitable personality. I became withdrawn, negative, apathetic, self involved, more self conscious, and I developed an intense
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distaste for who I was, a distaste I still am struggling to extinguish to this day. I felt constantly exhausted. I had an aversion to things that once brought me pleasure. Challenges became scary mountains of certain failure, when I used to view them as exciting chapters. The whole world feels closed and tough, when it used to feel open and malleable. I definitely have had suicidal thoughts, that I labeled dramatic, but we’ve all seen or heard too many people killing themselves over feeling worthless, stuck or empty. It’s an incredibly horrifying to think that nothing in this world is worth living through or for. Once it begins, it is hard for your brain to get out of that negative, self-defeating “thinking loop” and have faith in better days and realize, that your emotions and thoughts aren’t stagnant constant states, feelings are extremely fluid and situational. I know, I’ve had slight anxiety and other emotional baggage, like the next human schmuck. Not that I want to project my issues on any of you all, I just have this feeling, that those of us who are either prone or going through depression are far from alone and we are far from uncommon. I do want to point out that depression and anxiety are not the same thing. Although they can work in unison, they are two separate mental health issues. For the purpose of this article, we will only focus on clinical depression. I still would urge anyone looking for more information on depression to consult a professional and do your own research. What is the definition of depression? For some in a chronic depressed state, it can be hard to pinpoint a specific event that triggered the depression, unlike when you fail
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a test and feel extreme disappointment, but after a few days you feel back to normal and you just study harder for next exam. The Mayo Clinic defines clinical depression below: Depression, isn’t just a sad feeling, it is a constant gnawing that lasts more than a few days. You must have five or more of the following symptoms over a two-week period, most of the day, nearly every day. At least one of the symptoms must be either a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure. Signs and symptoms may include: •Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood •Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism •Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness •Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities •Decreased energy, fatigue, being “slowed down” •Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions •Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping •Appetite and/or weight changes •Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts •Restlessness, irritability •Persistent physical symptoms Causes, Prevalence According to the National Institute of Mental Health, or NIMH, the cause of depression can be the result of a myriad of factors: “Many factors may play a role in depression, including genetics, brain biology and chemistry, and life events such as trauma, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, an early childhood experience, or any stressful situation. Depression can happen at any age, but often begins in the teens or early 20s or 30s. Most
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chronic mood and anxiety disorders in adults begin as high levels of anxiety in children. In fact, high levels of anxiety as a child could mean a higher risk of depression as an adult.” Jeez, can I relate to the high levels of anxiety as a child. I developed disaster scenario thoughts at an early age, I remember visiting my cousins in the summer months and fearing that while I was away my parents may die! I’m not sure if this is a coincidence or a correlation. Couldn’t just be an eight year old with pie in the sky dreams of jello pools and unicorn princesses, had to think of mass shootings happening while I’m in public or other things no one can predict or should spend their entire life fearing. Maybe that’s anxiety, more so than depression, but I digress. Sometimes it can be hard to admit that a life event, can affect us so negatively. Sometimes we may not want to admit that we are succumbing to the stress of trauma from childhood, a recent move or break up. Refusing to acknowledge our feelings or our anger and
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fear may contribute to prolonged depression, or a depressed-like state. What are the rates of depression? What are the demographics? In 2015 6.6% of the American adult population had a one year prevalence of a major depressive episode. It looks like females are more prone to depression, or at least more prone to reporting it. It seems that 18-25 year olds, what up my millennials, (Ugh I know I hate that word too? What does that even mean? It sounds like a scientific name for a type of plant.) have a higher prevalence of depression in 2015 than the overall general adult population. It also looks like mixed race people also deal with depression much more than any other “race”. I won’t speculate on why, maybe you can. This graph surprises me because I thought the overall figures for depression would be higher. But this is just a snapshot, and many more people have faced depression at least once in their adult life for a period of time.
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“Globally, an estimated 350 million people of all ages suffer from depression. Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease.” How do people manage depression? Antidepressant medications are the go to method of treating depression in the United States. Another important, and for me, a more effective way of coping with depression is therapy and journaling. Sometimes writing down your feelings can help you identify things in your life that may be contributing to your depression, it could be your job, toxic relationships, getting enough rest, certain foods or it could just show you how your own projections and learned behavior contributes to your depression or anxiety. So that when you began to notice patterns, you can actually address them or understand what is causing you to behave or feel a certain way so that you can possibly correct or change your reaction to a trigger situation. Don’t ever be embarrassed to seek professional advice if you‘ve been going through a rough period in your life. Sometimes depression can make you feel like you’re all alone, but if you allow yourself to open up to people, you may be surprised to find how many others are going through similar hardships. Research! Research! The internet is the most beautiful gift of our time. There are so many resources, experts, and experiences to discover on the information highway. Personally, I have found tons of great podcasts, informational videos, articles that deal with depression and the myriad of ways people try to cope: meditation, spirituality, exercise,
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journaling, social experiments, even psychedelics Not that I’m endorsing anything. My personal* and individual* and unique* (just making it clear here people) experience with mushrooms, did not cure my depression, but it gave me a self awareness that I’ve never experienced before, and exposed me to aspects of my personality that I may not have grasped so quickly without nudging from these specific external chemicals. I know some days it can feel near impossible to just get out of bed and be a functioning member of society, but don’t beat yourself for not measuring up to other’s standards or standards that you have fabricated in your head that day. Some days will be worse than others, some days you can barely get out of bed, some days you can tackle more than you ever would have dreamed. Depression literally changes the chemical messages your brain receives, so you may feel clouded or tired. It’s O.K, just never give up. Trying to control your emotions, can sometimes do more harm than good. We are all flawed and complex entities, and each of us has the right to feel what we feel. You are not a programmable robot who can shut off and on. Allow yourself space and time to feel your emotions without judging them and take action after processing your emotions if you that’s what you want. I often rush myself to get to some illusionary goal, of perfection. I think to myself, “When I get here* then I will be happy”, but here, where I am now I cannot be happy. But even if I hit the zenith or am in a new environment, there still will be outside stimuli that will stress me out, or make me sad, or angry. I’m not saying that life is meaningless, or happiness is fleeting and therefore worthless, but that life for any living thing will be a constant stream of bliss, it is an illusionary goal, that our society calls a “happily ever after”. But life is always changing, slowly, quickly, sharply, subtly. This is the curse of being human, to have to label and understand and to expect and to compare.
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Any way, allow yourself to just be. You don’t need to prove your worth, your existence is validation enough. What could be causing the U.S to have such a high rate of depression? I have my own theories of why, and yes, some may be conspiracy-ish, the U.S has such a high rate of depression. Basically my personal, non scientific theory boils down to: We live within a society that happens to have toxic values that sometimes encourage superficiality, acquiring external possessions and constantly achieving status to boost a faulty and heavy ego. Sometimes as a whole we embrace love compassion, community and humanity as ideals, but putting them into practice on a large scale is something deemed impossible. A completely different take on the diagnosis
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of depression comes from a Daily Beast article, where one historian of psychiatry believes the entire DSM, which stands for of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a manual mental health professionals used to diagnose and describe mental health disorders, is deeply flawed because it bundles different types of disorders together and calls all them depression. This lazy and overreaching definition of depression, could be detrimental to the patients, but benefits pharmaceutical companies, who only have to manufacture a drug that tackles one issue, rather than tailor treatments or drugs for individual patients. The historian also asserts that the DSM, even the current editions, are stuffed with diagnoses that don’t have any basis in scientific fact. So...yikes! Again this is just one historian, so don’t throw all your general practitioner’s advice out of the window just yet! Even if this historian’s assertions have a sliver of truth behind them, don’t feel so bad, even the
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experts disagree on treating mental disorders, so if certain treatments aren’t working for you, don’t blame yourself or despair too much, just keep trying safe and researched methods to deal with your own mental health issues. Webmd, claims that the causes of depression are some that I’ve previously touched on in this article: biology, genetics, gender, age, health conditions, trauma or grief, life changes, medications and substance addiction... Honestly, when putting the Daily Beast article in perspective, it does kind of sound like different conditions are under one umbrella, when the causes are so different, that one would assume treatment would be different too. For instance, substance addiction and age seem to have a weak correlation at best, and intuitively it seems that these mental health issues should be treated and approached differently.
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I hope my quirkiness doesn’t downplay the effects or the seriousness of depression. This was meant to be a quick and superficial discussion. I encourage you to please research for yourself and ask for help if you are feeling low for longer than *your* normal.
If you think of committing self harm or suicide Please call: 1 (800) 273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week Languages: English, Spanish Or visit http://www. suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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