BOAT SHOES ARE IN AND YOU SHOULD WEAR THEM BECAUSE OF AN ARTICLE YOU READ
By Alex Taitague
This article is about boat shoes. Already, I have referenced myself
page 17
BOAT SHOES Quite obviously the proliferators of said shoes were sailors. As
as the writing authority on the subject, effectively breaking the
the writer, I will 1) break the fourth wall again and 2) illuminate
fourth wall of journalistic prose, and communicated to you—the
what is not obvious in relation to the shoes. Seamen are by no
reader—the topic of the below. It is unnecessary to explain the
means fashion arbiters, but have influenced fashion beyond the
function of the shoe—that is, shoes in general—and therefore
aforementioned footwear. Navy and white. Horizontal stripes.
can focus on the nautical aspects. A basic understanding of
Gold buttons. Et cetera. In this way, sailors are not arbiters, but
clothing articles has done some of my job for me, and common
victims of fashion—the transition in the 80's of boat shoes as
sense has rendered it silly of me to say that boat shoes were
vocational/practical attire to trendy feet protection being the
designed for use on boats. It is not silly, however, to point out that
primary evidence of this. As the reader, you may 1) accept this
they are typically of canvas or leather make. This, I maintain,
wall penetration and/or 2) feel smug about this less than obvious
is sensible to note because of a disparity in water-resistance; I
observation on nautical garb as you wear any rendition of it and/
find myself flummoxed by this typicality—really, why canvas
or 3) immerse yourself in a timeless occupation in order to be
in water-heavy environs (the ocean, sea, lake, river, et cetera)?
similarly victimized/ahead of the curve.
The rubber soles are cut in such a fashion as to increase traction
But you did not need to know all this for me—the unwalled
on the often wet decks of varied floating vessels. This fashion
writer/authority—to tell you—yes, you, the reader—that boat
of rubber cutting is called siping (not to be confused with the
shoes are in and that you should wear them because of an article
Chinese city) after, not surprisingly, a man with a similar name.
you read.