AGDW
AN ANALOG GIRL
IN A DIGITAL WORLD
A LIBERATION MIXTAPE
Photos & Words By India Mallard
WELDON IRVINE
Morning Sunrise
“Morning Sunrise” is the alarm clock arrangement that I set at 5:00 AM every day. After falling in love with its sampled version on Memphis Bleek and Jay-Z’s “Dear Summer,” I understood the gratifying of possessing a self-proclaimed theme song or even sonic cellular memory. I felt the blues and jazz from my ancestors speaking to me and communicating Black music in a traditional sense. Discovery. There is improvisation in the stratosphere with hues in the place of notes. Sure the night sky eliminated by the moon grants a phenomenal amount of power, but what about the colors that cascade about the sky in which God created? There is improvisation in the stratosphere with hues in the place of notes. To think that catching my favorite and reenergizing time of the day, whether from my window pane or in its true essence, on the strength of twenty years of mocking my mother’s grand rising shows how much the feminine divine centers our lives. Although my nineyear-old Yorkie is usually the first thing I see and feel in the morning begging me for kisses, there is already an inner glow of knowledge and creativity within me that has been activated immediately. It’s a superpower. God’s gradient vibranium that grants internal peace. Songs from the 1970s will do that to you.
Hello, morning, you look good, good to me Kissing the sky, can “Hello, morning, u look Igood, goodfeel to meit move me Kissing the sky, I can feel it move me But on my own I would share But onmorning my own I would share this morning” this
Kiss the sunrise with my eyes, so it’s a Morning sunrise (Morning)”
ERYKAH BADU
Cleva
I remember that exact moment when I realized that I was, morally, slightly different than the people of my generation. I think having a Halle Berry haircut in middle school and spending all my spare money on finding CDs in Best Buy bins would do that to anybody. Being an all-in-one old soul Black earthy nerd is something that I have always been comfortable with within every space because I never thought of it as a huge issue. Granted, there were times where it was awkward to navigate because of my introverted nature and people’s lack of understanding of the multi-dimensions of a Black woman, but they have only strengthened the makings of me. I love that I live in a generation and societal environment where being Black and intelligent is cool after enduring years of the “smart kid” or being used as a token Black girl for educational statics. I was who I was, and I am who I am. Music and its unique contributors play an amazing role helped me become comfortable with that. Self-actualization and acceptance were far easier than the physical portion of me. One of the few songs that released me from the captivity of my constant obsession with my body image was Erykah Badu. This pulls at my heartstrings as it described me down to a T. From here, I accepted the realities of my hair being short, the possibilities of my hair not growing, the size of my breast, and not possessing the “best figure” that is projected by society and social media. Myself and countless other women that connect to the song (including the author herself) conclude that it is all good because intellect will get us farther. We are perfect the way we are.
“This is how I look without makeup And with no bra my ninny's sag down low My hair ain't never hung down to my shoulders And it might not grow.”
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SADE
Cherish The Day It is true. I will always be daddy’s little girl. Yes, my baba (father) taught me how a man should treat a woman and what unconditional love looks like, but he also taught me about the importance of music taste. From an incredibly early age, I was exposed to the finest musicians one could hear in Black music; Sade was one of them. Every memory with my father is attached to music, whether it is Toni Braxton or Sade specifically. All the quality time, from cooking together and taking evening drives, could be a mixtape. Funny enough, my father always was the king of making them until streaming came into play. As a result, many of these songs included in this zine root from moments between us. I would not be the human musical encyclopedia I am without him and his countless acts of musical discovery. The presence of a father in a Black child’s life is essential, and I never take for granted all that his given me and scoped me to be alongside my mother. I may be my mother’s twin physically, but I am my father’s kindred spirit. Our comedic level and thought process are a carbon copy of one another. What father does the Ed Lover dance with you and reenacts music videos with you? Better yet, what father holds a freestyle session? My baba! “Cherish The Day” is the song he played cleaning in the house and picking me up from school back when making mixtapes and burning CDs was cool. I have the same CD that he has owned for years in its well-used form. To this day, I refuse to buy a new one because it holds much value to my childhood. It is more than a CD; it is a testament to our father-daughter relationship that is so sacred to me.
“U show me how
w deep love can be”
THE SYSTEM Don’t Disturb This Groove The eighties were my obsession when I began my music vault during my middle school years. So, this song has an extremely special place in my heart. Every holiday and summer was spent with my relatives in Connecticut. My grandparents and great-grandmother (as well as other family members) live down the street from each other, so you can only imagine what life was like for me as a child. The sonic feel of “Don’t Disturb This Groove” brings me back to the porch sessions with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents until nightfall. This is, in fact, the first time I heard it, and it blew my mind. Our family friend and neighbor played it over his boombox as he traditionally plays the classic every time summer comes around. Working on word searches with my great-grandmother never felt better than that moment, the song links up perfectly with the emotions. Liberation. Inspiration. Beauty. The color sonically transferred to my mediums of arts. It was the strangest thing I had ever experience creatively during that period of my life. The first of many to come. Prince being the next. Ergo, I never complete a project or go on an evening drive with my Baba without play this electric tune. The lyrics spike my creativity and ease my soul like no other. Aside, it also reaffirmed that being a Black rock star was achievable and fly as hell. This synthesizer-filled track did was help me cultivate my creative garden. And for that reason alone, I will forever cherish its existence.
“Ur heart is in the right place So don’t u go and change.”
“I’m in another world by a fountain Flowers blooming everywhere.”
PRINCE The Most Beautiful Girl In The World Where do I begin with Prince? I have always been in awe of his abilities and presence as a musician and creative. He embodied Black libration and ownership. He is my all-time favorite, so much to point that I have become a self-proclaimed Prince scholar and an active member in the purple community. “Beautiful Girl” song plays such an important role in my life, and I often regard it as my personal theme song. Why so? Because at every milestone in my life, or whenever I need to hear this song, it plays without my input or knowledge. Let me give you a list: my graduation party, in the car with mom, on the radio...not by my choice at all. It is like it is fate. It connects my mother and me through music as we both view this as our favorite Prince song. She is an avid listener, but not to the extent to my father. Regardless, there is nothing more graditifng than singing a women’s empowerment song by your favorite artist in the world with your mother! Who knew that my first guitar riff lesson would be a profound anthem of excavating the beauty within women. If I have it my way, this will be my future wedding song. It is fare to say that Prince plays an important role in my life.
“Could u be the most beautiful girl in the world?”
“It’s plain 2 see U’re the reason that God made a girl.”
MARY J. BLIGE
Be Happy
Who doesn’t love Mary? The Queen of Hip Hop Soul. Mary is essential to the soundtrack of Black women (or women in general). She exhibits both joy and pain and is the modern-day example of the Blues in its original form stood for in Black culture. Her album My Life has gotten me through hard times, and I know for a fact that women before me have returned to the album ten times over to ease their pain. I had not even experienced half of the themes she tackles in this album when I first listened, yet my connection with her ran deep with her. I sensed her pain and her rawness; only I was there with her under different circumstances. Pain is pain. Real recognize real. As much as I love the Jeep music and the mesh of hip hop and soul from What’s The 411?, her lyrical content and initiative as a songwriter are what inspired me as a creative writer. She found libration through expressing tragic situations and transforming them into pure art, which is remarkable. I notice that Mary’s lens as a storyteller transcends generations, and that is absolutely beautiful to me. I witnessed it firsthand, once again, in middle school with my guidance counselor, who played “Share My World” in her office upon my entry. She was not a woman of color, but she appreciated the art of Black music and understood its roots in American culture. Beyond the gender and color lines, all everyone wants to do is be happy...and maybe dye their hair blonde and go full-on New York-style with a puffy platinum jacket.
“All I really wa And to find a lo It would be
nt is to be happy ove that’s mine e so sweet.”
STEVIE WONDER
Superwoman
I have a knack for trying to be superhuman. I think that is the perfectionist in me. It started with the simple concept of a power suit in elementary school. I was a child wanting to wear a suit because that is what I saw strong women do around me. I wanted to be a true boss, so I started wearing blazers and combined the teachings of being well dressed from my parents. As I began to again, I rationalized my younger idealizations in a way that fit me as I began to understand the essence of becoming a woman in real-time. In essence, a power suit doesn’t make you a boss but is sure assists in looking the part. Battling with chronic anemia and the ups and downs of health has let me know that I do not need a suit to exhibit the trueness of a superwoman. To refer to Stevie Wonder’s lyrics, no, I am not “Mary,” and I do not want to be a movie star, but I am Stevie during his first exploration outside of his traditional Motown sound. I do understand Mary and where she is coming from, which is why I am connected to this song. “Our time has come to rejoice” and “a new agenda’s due”. Let’s just say my position in life is closer to the sister (Janet Jackson) who sampled it for “New Agenda” on her self-titled album in 1993. This album as I enter the second decade of my life; full of exploration and wonder. Even though I truly understand that, physically, power suits do not make me a grown woman; but, it is nice to say that after ten years of asking my mother for one, I finally got it along with the ability to say yes and no when I feel like it.
“Mary wants to b But is that reall
be a superwoman ly in her head.”
JANET JACKSON
Special/Can’t Be Stopped
Janet Jackson means a lot to me. I typically do not idolize celebrities because they are everyday people, but when you begin to research artists, as a music journalist and admirer, you begin to form attachments to creatives through their music (which is essentially their life) and interviews. Janet and I share similar journeys in life. We have the same birthday, were child actors, and even have a certain attachment to the Sankofa, to name a few, which explain my love for the content in her 1997 The Velvet Rope album. The Sankofa follows me where ever I go, and this album by Janet surrounds the same symbol does the same. Specialness is a form of libration coinciding with the reality of going back and fetching from the past in traditional African spirituality. No one can stop you from freedom. Only you can. Janet is right: “We all have the need to feel special.” Throughout my early teenage years into adulthood, The Velvet Rope has proven to be the collection of a variety of music that spoke to me and served as comfort in my position in life. Another case of real recognizing real. I understand my uniqueness, and so should you. Janet Jackson’s The Velvet Rope displays that conceptually as she uncovers the different facets of herself. This song does just that when she has the conversation with her true inner self, as we all do at some point in our lives. This body of work was and still is therapy.
“U must remember that We were born with blood of kings and queens And can’t be stopped Stay s tronger my sister u can’t be stopped “U see you can’t run away from ur pain Because wherever u run there you will be You have to learn to water ur spiritual garden Then u will be free.”
TUPAC
Old School
Most people, like Chuck D. of public enemy, regard the creation of 1980s R&B as escapism. Well, that was true for me, but so was Hip Hop for me in middle school. Through VH1 Soul, Hot 97, and WBLS, I re-experienced the four pillars of a culture that blew my mind. The art of MCing opened a new avenue of poetry, and when I found MC Lyte lyrically and Hype Willams visually, it was all raps. When I say that hip hop is in my DNA, I am not lying by any means Memorizing the rap to “Paper Thin” or “Waterfalls” as a child did not seal the deal entirely. It was the personal stories and legends attached to them. I am the daughter of a man who attended the 1995 Source Awards when the east vs. west coast was in full effect. I am the daughter of a woman who once gave Grant Puba a ride to his car from a club with a friend. I am the sister of a man who is named after Davante Swing of the group Jodeci. I am the niece of a man who met Puff Daddy and Biggie at Howard University’s legendary homecoming. I am the cousin of a Wu-Tang Clan member. I am a cousin to a former tour manager for Island Records during its peak. I am the cousin to a DJ that records shops with Biz Markie. I am the daughter of two parents that were the Tunnel clubgoers and Hot 97 Summer Jams attendees. I am the daughter of two Tri-state area music lovers who grew up during the rise of hip hop, and their stories have never left me. As causal as these small exchanges may insignificant be to some, including the loved one that shared them, they blow my mind and mean the world to me. I hope to become the woman who captures these stories of an everlasting culture affectionately named hip hop.
“What more could I say, I wouldn’t be here today If the old school didn’t pave the way.”
MARVIN GAYE
Inner City Blues
Marvin’s poetry speaks volumes. Freedom does not exist without pain. Who knew a conceptual album that was, once more, a departure from Motown’s clean sound can duplicate a world that has seen a great deal of advancement...or so we thought. The struggle of Black America remains. During the modern-day lynching of Blacks at the hands of police, my brother gifted me the vinyl version of Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On. I had this album on repeat when Minneapolis erupted with the voice of the unheard. All the frustrations from the ill-treatment from America came alive on my record player day after day. Each track sonically sounding like one conversation and continuous track, I was able to deal with the pain like the previous generation did in the 70s. Listen to “Inner City Blues” and see how much has changed... Take a listen to “Flyin’ High (in the Friendly Sky)” and tell me you did not shed a tear for the agony in his voice and your soul...I dare you. Listen to “Mercy Mercy Me” at look at our disappearing planet. What’s Going On is still us 40 years later. I constantly wonder what Marvin would say if he was still with us physically...
“Make me want to holler The way they do my life This ain’t livin’, this ain’t livin’.”
DIONNE FARRIS
Blackbird
We all have that one album or song that got us through quarantine and the harshness of the current pandemic and epidemic. As a result, I rediscovered Dionne Farris’ Wild Seed - Wild Flower and Rhonda Smith’s Intellipop. These two albums feed my soul while the current state of society slowly ate me alive. Specifically, with Dionne Farris, there was not a day where I did not listen to her album from April to August of 2020. An album with much substance that was timeless captivated my brain and kept me sane through online instruction and self-isolation is home to motivating songs like “Find Your Way,” “Food For Thought,” and “11th Hour”. My personal favorite (which was very to chose) is a Beatles cover, “Blackbird”. I always see Black women in music typecasted as a soul singer or rapper; but, to know that there was a collective of alternative rocking chicks like Des’ree, Dionne Farris, Tina Turner, Traci Chapman, Left Eye, and Meshell Ndegeocello kicking ass actively musically in the 90s music industry created a new vision for me, artistically. As a person that loves every genre of music, it annoyed me to see the lack of variety (or lack of attention/acceptance) in the musical system we build. “Blackbird” not only further proves my analysis of the capability of Black women in the industry beyond R&B while the remaining soul, but also speaks to the current state of Blacks in American today. Freedom and equality are all we yearn for in this country. Dionne Farris allowed me to feel hope during the continuous slaughter of our Kings and Queens and guided me through an artistic turning point in my life. I was able to spread my wings and fly...be free when I was trying to be caged.
“Blackbird singing i Take these broken w All ur life u’ve always wait
in the dead of night wings, learn to fly ted for this moment to arise.”
ISLEY BROTHERS
Voyage to Atlantis
Atlantis. She is my new love. Out of all the digital cameras I have held, she carries the most history. That iss because she is not digtial, she runs on film, Iford and Kodak to be exact. My grandfather shot with her and made the conscious decision to trust me with her life after he handled her with tender care for over thirty years. She still work like a charm and makes sure I know the basics, sharping my eye one day at a time. The ratio of grain she produces is reminiscent of the constellation of stars connecting to capture the perfect milky way. So, it is appropriate to call her the moon as she is the center of it all. The main attraction. When all fails, if the Internet mysteriously mirrors a disaster that had people on the dust of Y2K in a crisis, I know for a fact that I will always come back to her - just like the classics. Not that she will ever leave my side. Minolta body and all. Just like music, she is the key to my form of Black libration.
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LISTEN WHILE FLIPPIN’ 4 A BETTER EXPERIENCE This mixtape was transfered digtially on YouTube for universal enjoyment. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_ru-rfYrIEUS17yNCawyawoOTO3zHNaG