SORTED magazine : May / June 2013

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DENZEL WASHINGTON TALKS FAME, FAITH AND FAMILY ®

May/Jun 2013

sorted-magazine.com

BRAD

PITT KIDDING AROUND

TONY

VINO BIG MAN ON CAMPUS JOHN MOTSON

MOTTY’S

FINAL THOUGHTS

ON AUTO PILOT

£3.50

In partnership with

CULTURE | SPORT | CARS | SEX | FITNESS | TECH | HUMOUR | LIFESTYLE

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Vol. 7 | No. 3 | May/Jun 2013

www.sorted-magazine.com

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7

76

48

39 ACTION 7

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The Legend of Hercules The ‘Super Hercules’ aircraft is as tough as the Greek hero of the same name.

FEATURES

Windows on the Wild John Carter talks wildlife adventures.

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Diamond Geezer with Ant Delaney

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Your Will, Mott Mine with Alex Willmott

19

Compassion with Carl Beech

CULTURE Movies with Martin Leggatt

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Top Flight Kim Francis quizzes Denzel Washington on his attitudes regarding faith, fame and family.

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Family Guy Brad Pitt claims raising six children is making him a better man.

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42

Best Foot Forward Rob and Paul Forkan’s Gandy’s flip flop range will benefit fellow orphans across the globe.

Initiation, That’s What You Need…

Stand-up comedian Tony Vino explores what it really means to be a man during an unusual retreat.

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Life in Film When Peter Barry started making film, he had no idea how challenging and rewarding his job would become.

Under the Influence A group of urban pioneers known as the Eden Network take a grass-roots approach to community change and integration.

The Bear Facts with Bear Grylls

COLUMNISTS

20

54

BUSINESS

SPORT

60 We’re in Business

74

The Mother of all Relay Races

with Charles Humphreys

76

John Motson on the FA Cup

61

Making Your Mark with Stuart Rivers

78

YFC’s 48-Hour Football Marathon

62

Relationology with Matt Bird

81

A Whole New Ball Game

22

Television with Emily Russell

23

Gaming with Jim Lockey

24

DVD & Blu Ray with Martin Leggatt

26

Books with Mark Anderson

ADVICE

27

Music with Sue Rinaldi

64

Smart Talk

82

Fitness with Phil Baines

67

Big Questions with Jonathan Sherwin

84

Nutrition with Caroline Gerrie

85

Healthy Cooking with Mike Darracott

LIFESTYLE Cars with Sam Burnett

OPINION

33

Six of the Best… Top Dog

68

Money with Jon Cobb

34

Top Gear Gadgets and gizmos galore

69

Family with Richard Hardy

70

Faith with Sam Gibb

29

36

Sixty Second Life Coach with Peter Horne

Cover picture: Jim Smeal/BEI/Rex Features

HEALTH & FITNESS

FINAL THOUGHTS 87

In Vino Veritas with Tony Vino Lucas Aid with Jeff Lucas The Last Word with Carl Beech

71

Politics with Lyndon Bowring

88

72

Cut to the Chase with Lee and Baz

90

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STEVE LEGG

Sorted.

Up Front © Nyul | Dreamstime.com

Publisher & Editor Steve Legg steve@sorted-magazine.com Deputy Editor Joy Tibbs joy@sorted-magazine.com Sports Editor Stuart Weir Marketing & Advertising Rebekah Taylor rebekah@sorted-magazine.com Duncan Williams Tel: 07960 829615 Classified Advertising Fiona Hinton fiona@hintonmediaservices.com Design Andy Ashdown Design www.andyashdowndesign.co.uk Print Halcyon www.halcyonline.co.uk Distribution COMAG © Sorted Magazine 2013 Sorted is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd. The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement.

SCM holds names and addresses on computer for the purpose of mailing in accordance with the terms registered under the Data Protection Act 1984.

Sorted is protected by copyright and nothing may be produced wholly or in part without prior permission.

Contact Sorted Magazine PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK Tel: 01903 732190 E-mail: steve@sorted-magazine.com

Real Men Do the Dusting

I

read an article in the newspaper a while ago that claimed eight out of ten men don’t pull their weight in the home. I was outraged. I felt my honour – and the honour of manhood in general – had been challenged.

As an apron-owning, bleach-wielding man of the house, I bristle when adverts depict women doing all the work. Iceland needs to take a look at its core message: ‘That’s why mums go to Iceland’. My wife wouldn’t be seen dead in there! I often pop in to find a bargain, however (although never of the horse variety, obviously).

As for the Asda Christmas advert, I went on the radio to complain about it. If you missed it, and I don’t see how you could have, it depicted mum doing all the work while dad sat on his proverbial. I would like to state for the record that while I’m not suggesting for a second that my wife lounges around while I wait on her every need (that would a). not be true and b). bring great and furious wrath upon me) I do take charge of the Christmas dinner and the washing up.

IT’S NOT EARNING BROWNIE POINTS, IT’S MANNING UP TO YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES.

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If I’m honest, though, it hasn’t always been this way. And I’ve mates who make Jim Royle look like Kim or Aggie. They’re not sexist bigots who think dusting is a girl’s job; they’re guys who are the product of their upbringing.

They’ve always been looked after by their mums or their wives and it simply hasn’t occurred to them to pick up the recipe book and turn on the oven.

I’m proud to have done both and that I’ve learned which products to use on which

surface, how to empty the hoover bag without releasing dust all over myself and to discover there are magic cloths you can use on glass. It’s knowledge I am honour-bound to share.

You see it’s about more than feeling good about doing your partner a favour. It’s not a favour – it’s simply pulling your weight. It’s not earning brownie points, it’s manning up to your responsibilities.

On Father’s Day, a day when we’re meant to get feted and celebrated, I wonder if you could take a minute to think about the kind of dad, partner or boyfriend you are; the type of role model you are to your children. Are your sons learning to shoulder responsibility like men or sit and ignore it? Are your daughters learning that they are there to serve you and the next man in their lives or are you teaching them to expect more from men and from their own lives?

It’s serious stuff, and stuff that I don’t think we think about enough. Few of us would say that we think housework is a woman’s job, but many of us have got into a habit of not doing it, or not doing enough.

This is a habit we should break. My challenge to you this Father’s Day is this: enjoy the day, but make it the last time you sit back and let everyone else do the work. Learn a new household chore, then learn another. Become a working partner with your wife instead of a silent one.

It’s what real men do. I

Steve Legg PUBLISHER & EDITOR steve@sorted-magazine.com SteveLeggUK

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ACTION

THE LEGENDOF

HERCULES

BY FLT LT JONNY ‘JP’ PALMER

H

ercules is a name often associated with the Greek demi-god; the hero of ancient tales and modern films ranging from the timeless to the painfully awful (such as Arnie’s 1969 flop of the same name). As the son of Zeus, this strongman of legend is fabled to come from pretty decent stock, but noble origins are only the start of the striking similarities between this champion of Ancient Greece and the Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules.

The Hercules family of aircraft has the longest continuous production run of any military aircraft in history. It has been the workhorse of more than 65 countries since 1957 and, during more than 50 years of service, this line has participated in every kind of military, civilian and humanitarian aid operation you can think of.

From trooping in the Vietnam War to extracting British citizens from Libyan oil fields in 2011 – not to mention becoming the star of hit iPhone app Zombie Gunship – the Lockheed Hercules is often the first in and last out of any given situation.

Having outlived every design for its planned successors, the Hercules received a much-needed upgrade in the late ’90s and the result was an almost entirely new aircraft.

The C-130J is a comprehensive update of the venerable C130 Hercules, complete with new engines, flight deck and an array of complex avionic systems.

In its various forms, the ‘Super’ Hercules’ roles range from basic cargo carrying and precision air drop (delivering stores and equipment by pushing them out of the aircraft), to paratroop insertion, air-to-air refuelling, and search and rescue. Sometimes, fitted with the HAWK (Hercules Air Weapons Kit), the ‘J’ (as she’s known to the RAF) even supports ground troops with Hellfire air-to-ground missiles from its wing-mounted pylons and Griffins fired direct from the aircraft’s cavernous boot. f

FROM TROOPING IN THE VIETNAM WAR TO EXTRACTING BRITISH CITIZENS FROM LIBYAN OIL FIELDS IN 2011, THE LOCKHEED HERCULES IS OFTEN THE FIRST IN AND LAST OUT OF ANY GIVEN SITUATION.

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ACTION

The modification includes four beefy 4700 shaft horse power turboprop engines fitted with the British-designed and built Dowty six-bladed composite propeller. These added touches give the C-130J significantly improved power and efficiency over the older models; which comes in pretty handy when operating in hot and high conditions like Afghanistan!

The J’s flight deck has a state-of-the-art, four-screen glass cockpit layout and head-up displays. It is also fully night-vision compatible, so pilots can fly her at low level in near pitch-black conditions, avoiding being spotted by anyone who might not want them around. Even if seen, the defensive systems will protect the aircraft against surface-to-air or air-to-air infrared-seeking weapons encountered during its operations across the globe. This defensive kit includes a missile warning system linked to directional infrared countermeasures, a radar warning receiver and a chaff and flare dispensing system.

All this, together with the F16 fighter jet’s radar system and moving map display, makes the C130J the most formidable transport asset in the RAF inventory. The UK’s fleet of 24 C-130J is flown by the boys and girls of 24, 30 and 47 squadrons from Royal Air Force Brize Norton in Oxfordshire, where it forms the mainstay of British tactical air transport. A total of 300 C-130Js have already been ordered by more than 15 countries, and with more orders rolling in, it is safe to assume that the legend of Hercules will continue to live on for many, many years to come. I

The Mighty Hercules Here are some figures for the most ‘super’ Hercules of all, the C130-J Mk4:

CREW 2 pilots 1 loadmaster

CAPACITY Troops 128 or Paratroops 92 or NATO pallets 8 or Stretcher patients 97 or Land Rover 4

VITAL STATISTICS Length 34.36 metres Wingspan 40.41 metres Payload 19,958 kgs Max take-off weight 79 tonnes

Flight Lieutenant Jonny ‘JP’ Palmer has flown the Hercules C-130 J for the Royal Air Force since 2010. He lives in Oxfordshire with his wife and three children near RAF Brize Norton. He is a member of the Armed Forces Christian Union and is passionate about making Jesus known in the military.

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Max speed 417 mph Max altitude 32,000 feet Max range 3,262 miles

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ACTION

BEAR GRYLLS

The Bear Facts We’ve Bearly Begun He’s everybody’s favourite explorer and Chief Scout, and it seems Bear Grylls is fast becoming one of the nation’s favourite autobiography writers too.

In each issue of Sorted we have been treating you to an excerpt from his latest book, A Survival Guide for Life, and this edition is no different. If you can’t wait for the next instalment, copies are available from all good booksellers.

The greatest journeys all start with a single step hen you stand at the bottom of a mountain, you can rarely see a clear route to the top. It is too far away and the path too twisty and hidden behind obstacles. The only way to climb the sucker is to start – and then keep putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.

There’s a quote from Martin Luther King that I love: “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.”

It is good advice.

When you are setting out on a long and difficult journey towards your goal, you will not be able to foresee every obstacle or anticipate every lucky break. But what you will find is that with every step you gain experience, perspective, skill and confidence. It is these elements that will ultimately help you reach your goal.

But you only gain experience, perspective, skill and confidence when you start moving. See how it works now?

W

Sometimes the journey ahead can feel so daunting and so implausible that we lack the courage to take the first step. And there is never a shortage of good excuses: it’s not the right time; the odds are too stacked against me; or no one like me has ever done it before.

I’m also willing to bet that Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon, Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to climb Everest, or even Thomas Edison, trying thousands and thousands of times to make the light bulb work, had a good list of excuses that they could have used, too.

And I can promise you they all felt inadequate at many times along their path.

© Blasbike | Dreamstime.com

MOST PEOPLE NEVER FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE TRULY CAPABLE OF, BECAUSE THE MOUNTAIN LOOKS FRIGHTENING FROM THE BOTTOM.

You know what the sad thing is? It’s that most people never find out what they are truly capable of, because the mountain looks frightening from the bottom, before you begin. It is easier to look down than up.

There’s a poignant poem by Christopher Logue that I’m often reminded of when people tell me their ‘reasons’ for not embarking on a great adventure: Come to the edge.

We might fall.

Come to the edge.

It’s too high!

COME TO THE EDGE! And they came, and we pushed, And they flew.

I have a sneaking suspicion that if you can just take that first step off the edge, you might find that you, too, can fly.

If you can just take that first step towards your own dreams – take that enormous leap of faith towards beginning whatever it is – then new possibilities open up before you.

It is the magic of beginning. Things start to happen.

Then it is all about hanging on for the ride – keeping cheerful, not quitting, trusting the right people, listening to that inner voice, doing what others won’t or can’t, and never losing sight of the goal. I Bear Grylls is an adventurer, writer and television presenter. He is best known for his television series Born Survivor, known as Man Vs Wild in the United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Bear spent three years in the SAS and is one of the youngest Britons to climb Mount Everest, doing so at the age of 23. In July 2009, he became the youngest ever Chief Scout at the age of 35.

If you want to read on, we strongly recommend investing in a copy. It’s available from all good bookshops and online retailers. It could just help you make the changes needed to turn your life around.

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WINDOWS ON THE WILD Veteran globetrotter John Carter – former presenter of Wish You Were Here and BBC’s Holiday programme – revisits some of Canada’s most remote and spectacular regions, full to the brim with wildlife and adventure!

BY JOHN CARTER

R

eflecting on a lifetime of travel, certain experiences come instantly to mind. There are obvious ones, such as the first sight of the Grand Canyon, or the first visit to Venice, and others less predictable because they are unique to the moment and to me.

Like watching two female grizzly bears standing in a fast-running river, hooking out salmon with deadly accuracy and, with a flick of their huge paws, sending them spinning through the air and onto the bank, where three cubs waited to pounce and devour.

Or sitting silent in a canoe for close on an hour, keeping station with an occasional use of the paddle, waiting for a whale to breach. And when it did, being overawed by the sight, half-disappointed that it was not

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closer, half-grateful that it wasn't so close as to upset the tiny shell in which I huddled, wrapped against the Canadian cold.

Another was unexpectedly encountering a moose – the creature being as surprised as we were – in Manitoba's Riding Mountain National Park. We stood within a few feet of each other, staring, silent and motionless, until the spell was broken and the creature ambled away.

I wish everybody could have similar experiences when they travel. Unfortunately, the majority never will. They take their holidays from the internet or from the shelves of the travel agent, selecting the big brands who bombard us with their advertisements and special offers.

For the most part, these are honestly crafted, value-formoney deals that will deliver what they offer. But though you may not be disappointed, they will never give you the "wow" factor of an experience so out of the ordinary that it will remain in your memory for the rest of your life.

What has brought about this mood of reflection?

A friend sent me a holiday brochure, asking for my thoughts. It is not a brochure I would see in the normal course of events, but I am grateful to him for sending it.

It sets out the offerings of a small, London-based company whose rationale is to provide the kind of holiday experiences I have described.

Windows on the Wild is its name. Its brochure photographs are not of aircraft or hotels or beaches, or of any of the nuts-and-bolts ingredients of the usual holiday package. Instead, there are photographs of the amazing wildlife and spectacular scenery to be seen on a selection of its Canadian itineraries.

Take, for example, the experience it offers in the

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Torngat Mountains National Park in Labrador. It does not exaggerate when it describes this as one of the world's last wildernesses, and the tour incorporates sightseeing by helicopter, kayaking, whale watching, viewing polar bears, and an encounter with Inuit customs and culture.

A six-night trip taken between mid-June and the end of August, starting and ending in Goose Bay, costs £3,659, with the equivalent nine-night trip costing £5,419. Apart from the first and last night in Goose Bay, you stay in permanent tented accommodation at a scientific base camp.

FOR ME, THESE HOLIDAYS REPRESENT REAL TRAVEL, NOT THE “SANITISED FOR YOUR PERSONAL CONVENIENCE” FORTNIGHT OFFERED BY THE MAJOR HOLIDAY FIRMS. Another August itinerary takes travellers to the aforementioned Riding Mountains National Park. The trip to Manitoba gives visitors the chance to see moose, black bears, bison, beluga whales and polar bears on a seven-night ‘safari’ costing £3,865. It departs from Winnipeg and covers not only the National Park, but the unforgiving tundra to the north.

Another ‘safari’ – this time to the Canadian Arctic – is a nine-night experience costing £9,150 and available from the end of May until the end of June. Narwhal and polar bears can be seen during the Arctic spring from Sirmilik National Park on Baffin Island.

Spirit Bear Lodge in Klemtu, British Columbia, is the base for another Windows on the Wild offering. The trip varies from three to seven nights, though the company recommends a minimum stay of four or five nights so as to see grizzly and black bears, wolves, whales and dolphins as well as the spirit bear, from whom the lodge takes its name. A four-night package, departing from Vancouver, costs £2,040.

I also like what the company calls Aurora Wonderland,

the opportunity to go dog sledding in the Northwest Territories, with the Northern Lights thrown in for good measure. Travellers can choose to stay in a hotel in Yellowknife, or a cabin just a few miles away on a five-day break, adding three nights on for a dog-sledding expedition that has guests staying in prospector tents, cabins and lodges. The deals are available between December and April, and from August to November, costing from £845 for the five-night deal.

Several other itineraries are on offer from this enterprising holiday company: an opportunity to view the Aurora Borealis in the Yukon, searching for walrus and bowhead whales off Baffin Island or taking a float plane to reach a lodge on the shore of an otherwise inaccessible mountain lake. All very tempting!

For me, these holidays represent real travel, not the “sanitised for your personal convenience” fortnight offered by the major holiday firms.

Don’t get me wrong. If you happen to be a traveller who carries the responsibilities of a young family, say, or are of a careful and cautious disposition – trepid rather than intrepid in your approach to going away from home – then the run-of-the-mill packages are probably right for you. But if you want to have exceptional experiences, going off the well-beaten tourist track, then trips like this are worth considering.

Are there any drawbacks, cautions or caveats? I suppose the most obvious is that when you are dealing with wild creatures, there can be no guarantees that they will be where you expect them to be, or in the numbers anticipated.

However, when you have studied the seasonal habits of, say, the whales or the bears over many years, you can be surer than most people that you know where to find them and where to take your clients.

And, of course, you must not expect to stay in multistorey hotels with deep pile carpets, satellite television sets and the over-the-top trappings of a luxury suite. But having said that, I have found National Park lodges and permanent tents to be more than comfortable and more than adequate in all my travels off the beaten track.

All in all, this is a programme of holidays well worth studying, the more so if you have a desire to experience much more than a holiday next time you travel. I

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COLUMNISTS

ANT DELANEY

Diamond Geezer

Anger Management

A

s I write, the news is full of Oscar Pistorius. We’ve all heard the story and will have to await the verdict in South Africa. But what about violence closer to home, in the UK? I Adult males are the perpetrators in 94% of cases of domestic violence I A woman is assaulted in her home every six seconds I Women experience an average of 35 incidents of domestic violence before reporting an incident to the police I Two women are killed each week by their partner or ex-partner I Nearly a million women experience at least one incident of domestic abuse each year I At least 750,000 children a year witness domestic violence I The age people are most likely to experience violence is between 13 and 15 I The number of people requiring hospital treatment after being seriously hurt in street fights or assaults has risen 50% in five years I The average man loses his temper six times a week. The average woman only loses her temper three times a week I The average man says: “Yeah well I’d be angry a lot less if it wasn’t for the average woman!” (Okay I added that bit.)

I Women tend to get angry more often at people, while men normally get angry at things when they break down (wouldn’t you hate to be a coffee machine?)

I Men are more physical with their anger than women I People are more likely to express anger at home than anywhere else

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Exploders

1

When you’re tired or discouraged, maybe.

There’s a trigger event: a criticism, a perceived lack of respect or appreciation.

Sometimes you see it coming; the red mist descends. Adrenaline flows, your teeth clench, your muscles flex, your heart beats faster, your hands become fists and for a split second you try not to erupt, but then POW! A wild set of habits you learned when you were five take command.

You fly off the handle and you throw it and whatever is attached to it across the room. There is loud shouting, desk pounding, swearing and

screaming.

In the short term it seems you get what you wanted: results; compliance. But now the other party is full of resentment. After a while you calm down and have to do some really embarrassing apologising. A damaged relationship or property needs fixing. Maybe there is the loss of a job, the end of a friendship.

You think it’s a one-off, but everyone around you knows it’s not. If that’s you, you’ve got a problem. Proverbs 29:22 says: “A hot tempered man gets into all kinds of trouble.”

© Jason Stitt | Dreamstime.com

I’ve spent a while recently studying an incredibly practical Bible book called Proverbs and found it has a lot to say on the subject of anger.

Check this out. If you struggle with anger, write it out and put it on your shaving mirror: “It is better to be slow-tempered than famous.

It is better to have self-control than to control an army“ (Proverbs 16:32).

When was the last time you lost your temper? Anger is a reality for all of us, and before you say it’s not a problem for you there are at least four types of people when it comes to dealing with anger. These are learned patterns of how you deal with anger. None is the kind of self-control Proverbs says is wise…

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COLUMNISTS

Internalisers

2

This is someone who bottles it up. You say you never get angry, but you get upset. Maybe you have high blood pressure, stomach problems, ulcers, colitis or headaches. It’s chewing away at you. Your sympathetic nervous system keeps kicking in but finds no outlet. There is physiological deterioration as a result because you’re burying toxic waste. Look out, it’ll leak out.

3

You climb all over yourself for the smallest mistakes. You may get chronically depressed, suffocating your spirit. This is another way to bottle it up rather than exploding. You speak terrible things to yourself, about yourself. You may have suicidal thoughts. You may not feel angry at anyone else because you are your own worst enemy and your inadequate way of handling anger may be to blame yourself for a lot of that depression.

Sneakers

4

These are the ‘cleverest’ anger mismanagers. Maybe they were prohibited at an early age from ever being really angry, so they become passive-aggressive. You can’t ever quite catch them at it because, in their almost invisible way, they want to bring someone else down because they think it will make them feel better and somehow help you deal with their own disappointments.

Anger is never the problem, the expression is what matters. Anger is like a warning light flashing away: there’s a deeper issue that is not being addressed.

Maturity is the ability to overlook a hurt; the ability to shrug it off and play it down.

Proverbs 19:11 says: “When someone wrongs you it is a great virtue to ignore it.” The best example of this is Jesus. He was slandered, criticised, put down and misunderstood, yet He never retaliated.

The Bible says it is better to be slow-tempered and have self-control than to control an army.

How are you doing in this area? This is all about the kind of man we really want to be. I have found self-control only really starts when you give God control. I

© Wavebreakmedia Ltd | Dreamstime.com

Self-punishers

Often they aren’t even aware they’re acting like this, because it really is like an act they put on. They never look you in the eye as they very nicely throw out camouflaged barbed comments, verbal punches, cutting others down or deflating them. They ask: “What’s YOUR problem?”

Unlike the exploder, with whom it is usually at least over and done with, this just goes on and on. Maybe they are NOT so clever, though, because they are destroying themselves and others around them at work and home. They wonder why they have hardly any friends; why people don’t call round much.

Of course there are variations on these.

Some people are sarcastic or pouters, bad losers, ‘your-faulters’ and ‘poor-me-ers’. If you are one of these or you live with one, anger is a problem for you and you need God’s wisdom and help.

Proverbs 11:29 tells us: “The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left.” You don’t want that.

Because when people get angry, the results are almost always negative. One day Alexander the Great, in a fit of rage, struck his favourite general. He hit him and killed him; his best friend. He cried out: “I’ve conquered the world.

But I can’t even conquer my own soul!”

It’s wise to analyse your anger and ask yourself: ‘Why am I reacting like this? Why do I choose to explode like this? Where did this pattern come from? Why is this getting me riled up? Why am I so upset? Why is this bothering me so much?’

Former plain-clothes policeman Anthony Delaney is a broadcaster, writer and speaker who leads Ivy Manchester Church. Regularly appearing on BBC Radio 4 and 5 Live, his book, Diamond Geezers, is available now and is published by Integrity Publishers. Follow him on Twitter @anthonydelaney or read his blog at www.anthonydelaney.com.

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RUNNING HEAD COLUMNISTS

ALEX WILLMOTT

Your Will, Mott Mine shattered polystyrene. I vomited. Time and time again. The cat, however, stretched his pristine frame across the scorched patio, basking in his inability to clean a drain.

The stuff I saw down there haunted my dreams for weeks. Only now, a month on, can I eat soup again. Looking back on the frightful episode, I can say with certainty that I’d never been filthier than the day I fought the drains.

I’ve played football in six inches of mud and rugby in pools of Welsh rain, but the drains were in a different league.

© Photosthai | Dreamstime.com

FOR THREE HOURS I MANUALLY REMOVED FOUR BUCKETLOADS OF WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS THE REMAINS OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH.

Let it Drain

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my stuff.

“See this, cat? This is why us humans are at the top of the food chain. We can fix a problem.” (I couldn’t be sure, but I’m almost certain the cat sniggered momentarily. It was as if he knew what was ahead of me.) Suffice to say I would have sniggered too if I was watching.

For three hours I manually removed four bucketloads of what can only be described as the remains of Sodom and Gomorrah. The thick, black substance clung to my skin like

Alex Willmott penned the epic Selah trilogy. Former newspaper journalist, sports fanatic and local football manager, Alex took a vow to live life to the full after reading the book of John in the Bible aged 16. Visit www.alexwillmott.com for more information.

© Patrycja Polechonska | Dreamstime.com

I

’d never smelt anything like it in my 28 years on the planet. It was like a cross between overflowing sewers and London during the plague. And the problem wasn’t just the stink, but the fact that it was in my house.

“Gas! It has to be gas, babe,” My girlfriend whispered to me, covering her face from the omnipresent stench. I agreed, there was a gassy tone to the scent of Mordor lingering around my kitchen. We switched the gas off at the mains and waited for the engineer. Those 45 minutes were the closest I’d ever come to human torture. I longed for someone to break wind to take my mind off the smell that was my home.

The gasman walked in, proud and jolly. But within a few seconds his face began to sink like crabs in quicksand. “Oh no, that’s not gas, mate. That’s your drains, that is. Oh yeah.

That’s your drains.” He left within five minutes.

The next day, I slapped on a pair of rubber gloves and nonchalantly approached the small utility room where the drains in question were lurking like gherkins. One of the cats from up the road sat in the yard and watched me strut

And as I sat at my Ikea breakfast bar, trembling with post-drainage depression, I had the most peculiar thought. Despite the discolouring of my skin and the permanently soiled clothes, I had seen just one atom of what it means to get really filthy. After all, the sludge that wrapped itself around me soon became a bad memory after two showers and a change of clothes. But real filth, the stuff that seeps into the core of your being, that’s the dregs of our DNA. And of course, no man in his right mind would venture into such dregs.

Surely?

“When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross“ (Colossians 2:13-15). I

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COLUMNISTS

CARL BEECH

Compassion

Step Up to the Plate

S

o there I was, standing in a slum in Chennai, India, where Compassion is working. I was there to meet a woman and three kids living in what we would call a hovel. Except that it wasn’t a hovel because she kept it so clean.

In the corner was a picture of her mother with some fairy lights around it. It turns out that the woman we were meeting wasn’t the mother of the children, but their older sister.

Their mother had died some years before and the picture was all she had as a memory. So there you have it: a daughter bringing up three children all on her own.

She has to work to provide for them, of course, because if she doesn’t there’s no safety net. A typical day was about 12 hours, for which she received 100 rupees. That’s about a pound.

WE NEED SOME MEN TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Again and again I saw the same scenario being played out. For example, a wife who was being habitually abused by her drunk husband. I met him when he walked into the slum house I was visiting. He was drunk again after throwing the 100 rupees he had earned that day down his neck in booze. It made me realise just how much we need to work with the fathers; something we’re seriously looking at within our CVM India team.

I’ve been to India many times over the last 15 years. Each time I have felt that the problems faced by the poorest of the poor – living in slums or by the road – were so massive in their scale, and that there were so many living below the poverty line, that it was an insurmountable problem. I think deep down that’s what many people think. I have heard

people quote the Bible to me about it before: “But Carl, Jesus said the poor will always be with you.”

At the end of the trip, however, I was introduced to two young university undergraduates attending very good colleges in the city. We met in a nice restaurant that was a far cry from the slums in which I had been spending my days. They were completing master’s degrees in electrical engineering and were full of optimism about the future and their own prospects. They were also full of faith in Jesus and one of them told me they had been witnessing to their mates at university.

In many senses it could have been a conversation played out with well-heeled undergraduates at a top UK university. Apart from one thing: these kids had grown up in poverty. They had been sponsored as kids and placed on a programme by Compassion that

would support them as they grew up in the slums and eventually fund them to complete a university education. I was stunned. As I lay back on my bed that night, pondering on it all, I had this phrase running through my mind: “One life at a time, one life at a time”.

And that’s the thing. The problems may seem overwhelming, and these people may seem far away, but we can all participate in changing a life. At Christian Vision for Men, we are partnering with Compassion to see 1,000 children lifted out of poverty.

We need some men to step up to the plate and make a difference. For the price of one pint a week, or one of those awful tuna sarnies from the motorway service station, a life can be changed. So how about it this Father’s Day? How about making an ongoing gift to change a child’s life? I Carl Beech is general director at Christian Vision for Men.

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MOVIES

With Martin Leggatt

Too Fast, Too Furious

Fast & Furious 6 In a kind and ideal world, Paul Walker and pals would have run out of fuel a long time ago, but no; like the Energizer Bunny they just keep going. On and on and on.

This time the usual suspects – Vin Diesel, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Chambers and Paul Walker – are reunited in yet another automotive-based crime

caper. For the uninformed among you (and you, my friends, are truly blessed), think of an American version of Max Power petrol heads crossed with Miami Vice… without the cool clothes, the enigmatic storylines or Don Johnson.

Still, in these economically challenged times, Hollywood execs are reluctant and unlikely to loosen their purse strings on the risky

gamble that is an original screenplay. They like a good profit. So we are stuck with trite, unimaginative, but relatively safe sequels, prequels and reimaginings. If you’re a fan of the franchise, you’ll love this sixth instalment, but for me the kindest thing I can say is that this is the sixth-least-good film of the franchise.

%%%%% Definitely low on gas.

A self-made, nouveau riche man from a poor background, Gatsby has been driven all his life to be accepted by the ‘old money’ society he aspires to join so he can satisfy his

unrequited love for Daisy Buchanan (Casey Mulligan). In this tragic tale of obsession, the journey turns out to be far greater for Gatsby than arrival at the final destination.

%%%%% A great, Great Gatsby.

The Great Gatsby This long-awaited and muchspeculated-upon Baz Luhrmann take on F Scott Fitzgerald’s classic tale of misplaced loyalties and social climbing during the Great Depression has some stiff competition. There are no fewer than four very good predecessors, with two notables: the 1974 Robert Redford version and an earlier 1949 Alan Ladd outing. Of these, the Alan Ladd version just about edges it in my opinion.

However, Baz Luhrmann has a proven track record for the spectacular, with his adaptation of Romeo and Juliet proving a particularly outstanding piece of cinema. Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a mysterious and enigmatic millionaire with a debatable past. Is he a bootlegger, a war hero, or both? He lives in a vast and opulent mansion throwing grandiose parties, which are at odds with his once-wealthy neighbours.

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Beware of Mr Baker This is sure to be of interest for any of you ageing rockers out there. This documentary, or should that be rockumentary, tells the story of Peter ‘Ginger’ Baker – former drummer with Cream and Blind Faith – and what a refreshing story it is. We now live in a world of manufactured, squeaky clean boy bands, who slip back into obscurity as soon as they whip out their first Gillette razor. But back in the sixties and seventies we had proper bands with proper, wild man musicians.

The wildest of all were the drummers: think Keith Moon (The Who), John Bonham (Led Zeppelin) and Nick Mason (Pink Floyd). But it is Baker who is widely acknowledged as rock’s first superstar drummer.

The film looks back on Baker’s life from his early jazz heyday to a flirtation with early afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti; a bizarre twist of fate that saw Baker defrauded of practically all his money, to his current existence as a self-imposed exile in a South African compound.

The story is a rich tale of a truly great and supremely talented

musician with a strong streak of selfdestruction. This is a film for any lover of decent music.

%%%%% A rock documentary that is hard to beat.

women or children and confessed that one hit affected him right up until his death: he had allowed one of his victims half an hour to pray for God’s intervention, which ultimately never came. Although he continued to practise what he considered his profession up until his arrest, he maintained that this one hit haunted him for the rest of his life.

Many contributing factors are raised during the film: an abusive childhood at the hands of his parents and unmedicated bipolar disorder among them, but the chilling truth of the matter comes from Kuklinski’s own mouth. He took pride in what he considered his profession and delighted in what was, for him, a job well done.

%%%%% Another Malick master class.

The Iceman This is my controversial choice of the month, and it deals with a very delicate subject matter. It is the chilling and incredibly gritty adaptation of Philip Carlo’s biography of Richard Kuklinski’s life as a hitman. A real-life contract killer of the type glorified in countless clichéd Hollywood movies, Kuklinski was the classic man-next-door whose neighbours never had a clue what he truly was. I suppose it’s not something you would advertise, but not even his wife knew the truth until his arrest in 1986.

Kuklinski, a man mountain of sixfoot-five, is played by Michael Shannon (from Machine Gun Preacher) with Winona Ryder as his long-suffering wife Deborah. Chris Evans plays another infamous killer, Robert ‘Mr Softee’ Pronge, who used an ice cream van as a cover. Pronge mentored Kuklinski in deep freezing his victims as a means of disguising their true time of death.

James Franco puts in his usual bankable performance as Marty, and Ray Liotta turns in his stock wise guy role as Mafioso Roy DeMeo. The film is a challenging watch due to the subject matter, but it raises some very bizarre codes that Kuklinski held. He would never kill

Man of Steel Superman gets a makeover in this movie; a stark change from his Christopher Reeve, underpantsover-the tights days. I was raised on the late, great Reeve as Krypton’s greatest refugee. I took delight in his adventures against Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor; his romance with Lois Lane (how could she not see?); and even loved the borderline comedy Superman III with Richard Pryor as computer genius Gus Gorman. I never really managed to warm to Superman II, which saw perhaps one of cinema’s greatest crimes with Terrence Stamp as General Zod in an

appalling leather boiler suit.

Now, Henry Cavill (from Stardust and The Tudors) adds his name and smouldering looks to the list of those who have donned the cape.

Australia’s finest, Russell Crowe, takes over from Marlon Brando as the great man’s father, Jor-El, while Iceman’s Michael Shannon makes a far less camp General Zod. There is impressive support form Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Amy Adams and Laurence Fishburne.

Martin Leggatt is married to Sue and father to Aaron, Sam, Hope and Paige. He’s a self-confessed movie geek, although his tastes run to an eclectic assortment of action, thriller, black and white, war and pretentious (as Sue would say) art house films. Martin’s favourite film is Powell and Pressburger’s A Matter of Life and Death.

%%%%% It’s super, man.

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TELEVISION

Steve Meddle/Rex Features

With Emily Russell

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A Bit of a Mouthful

‘A

ll you can eat’ takes on a whole new meaning in Man v. Food.

Adam Richman has a mission: to beat the many unbelievable eating challenges that America’s diners, bars and restaurants have to offer. So he travels the country, chowing down on ludicrous food mountains and dishes that are spiced to ridiculous levels. It’s all about tasting each city’s signature dish or speciality and proving that man can come out on top, no matter what food trial he faces.

This is a show all about the unbelievable. How do people come up with these dishes?! There are pastries bigger than a man’s head, slices of pizza that almost dwarf a baby and the most cruelly spicy foods ever concocted, bringing tears to the eye thanks to their smell alone. Why would anybody try to eat these things, let alone allow a camera to record the horrifying ordeal?

Adam Richman is certainly unique.

He’s enthusiastic and self-educated, with a genuine love of food. He’s fun to watch too, his eyes popping and his exclamations loud as he steps into steam-filled kitchens and delves into

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the extraordinary recipes behind the colossal meals he’ll be facing. This is not food for the fainthearted, or for those who are watching their weight.

Understandably, some disapprove.

Critics compare the attitudes on display to those of Jackass and complain that the show promotes gluttony and wastefulness as entertainment or a positive life choice. It’s certainly not for everyone, although it never claims that all meals should be that big or eaten that quickly.

PASTRIES BIGGER THAN A MAN’S HEAD, SLICES OF PIZZA THAT ALMOST DWARF A BABY. These are food challenges, not dayto-day meal plans. And Richman has often spoken about the fact that he tried not to eat anything else on the day of the challenge and that he runs on a treadmill for at least an hour afterwards, doing his bit to try and stop his job making him unhealthy. It’s a show about pushing yourself to the edge and trying to

succeed; trying to best the extraordinary.

No episodes have been produced since 2010, but the show’s four series – and a clip show entitled Amazing Eats – are all still shown on TV due to Man v. Food‘s popularity.

Richman himself continues to explore his love of food on screen, having since fronted shows such as Man v. Food Nation, in which he coached others taking on epic food challenges and Adam Richman’s Best Sandwich in America, in which he searched the nation for the perfect bread bite.

Adam is not done bringing his exuberant love of all things ‘out there’ and culinary to the small screen, and he’s doing it his way.

He’s a breath of fresh air in the food television world; excited about meal times and about inspiring people to get out there; to travel and taste all the variety that the world has to offer, no matter what size of meal you’re after.

Man v. Food airs regularly on Dave and on Good Food. His book, America the Edible, all about American cuisine, is out now. I Emily Russell has a degree in Media and Film Studies and works part-time for the University of Southampton. She has been writing Culturewatch articles for the Damaris Trust website (www.damaris.org) since 2005 and watches far too much science-fiction and fantasy, crime shows and wrestling. She is married to Anthony.

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GAMING With Jim Lockey

Who’s in Control?

DO YOU HAVE A CONTROLLER IN YOUR HANDS THAT’S KEEPING YOU FROM BEING THE MAN YOU COULD BE?

O

be easy for developers to build games for PS4.

Amid all my excitement, though, there are reservations. There was no mention of Twitter or Youtube when the company discussed its new socially integrated approach to the

The realisation that my favourite gaming console had quietly taken over such a lot of my brain’s real estate has made me more conscious about how I play. I want to be sure that my gaming never takes precedence over my family, or commitments I’ve made to my church and friends. I don’t think that my gaming has ever been an addiction that has genuinely hurt those around me, but I do wonder sometimes about how much I could achieve with my time if I didn’t have a controller in my hand.

I realise that for all the enjoyment my gaming brings, it is myself that it hurts the most. If I wasn’t so worried about chasing the next platinum trophy I might be more effective at my job, and maybe I’d even have finished the novel I’ve been working on for nearly two years.

So here’s a question for you. Is there something in your life that is quietly getting in the way of what’s important? Do you have a controller in your hands that’s keeping you from being the man you could be? I Jim is a lifelong gamer and lives in Kent with his wife and children. He is also an artist and curator. His website is www.jimlockey.co.uk and his PSN name is tearfulminotaur.

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© Miaufoto | Dreamstime.com

n February 20 I stayed up until 2am to watch the entirety of Sony’s event announcing the PS4 and to catch up on some of the commentary from across the internet.

I did this only in part to make sure that you, the Sorted reader, is kept up-to-date on all the ‘next gen’ talk.

I also did it because I am a die-hard Sony fan and have been loyal to Sony since the original Playstation.

I’ve owned other consoles, for sure, yet there is something about the Dualshock controller that just feels like home to me. Believe me, I could launch into a long apologetic about Playstation, but I’ll save you that.

Most arguments between consoles are largely bogus; it’s all about preference. So don’t worry if you’re an Xbox gamer, I won’t alienate you here.

My head is still reeling from all the news and all the reveals that came out of Sony’s event. Let me be honest with you, reader; when a new Infamous game was announced, I somewhat lost my presence of mind with the excitement. The ability to live stream your game to friends and upload clips on the fly shows that Sony really gets where game culture is headed. I’m also glad to see it is learning from what happened with PS3 and is now implementing a PClike infrastructure under the hood. In basic terms, that means it’s going to

gaming experience. If Sony has dropped the ball with getting these popular networks on board with the PS4, it may have already lost the battle. I doubt that the PS4’s social feature set will be locked out from these networks, but I still wonder why they weren’t mentioned.

At the time of writing, there are still plenty of mysteries surrounding the new hardware, and no doubt Sony plans to tease our interest right up until the release window of holiday season 2013. So rather than speculate on what might be or try to guess how the mighty Microsoft might respond, I want to discuss something else about my experience of the Sony event.

How is it possible that a consumer electronics company has such a hold over me that I would stay up that late just to watch men in suits talk about GPUs, gigaflops and tech demos? How have I allowed myself to become defined by my console preference and my trophy level? I think there is probably a word for how I treat my Playstation: idolatry.

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DVD & BLU RAY With Martin Leggatt

The Urbane Space-man

Moviestore Collection/Rex Features

T

he enigmatic, talented and urbane Kevin Spacey is a modern renaissance man. He is a rare commodity in modern cinema: a bigname star who can act. I mean seriously act.

He’s an Oscar and Golden Globe winning star of the big screen, award-winning stage actor and director, and accomplished singer and – in 2004 Bobby Darin biopic Under the Sea – a combination of the three. Spacey is also the understated jetsetter of the American Airlines advertisements that would make even the most travel-weary among us want to fly.

In amongst all of this he’s found time to fill the role of artistic director at London’s Old Vic theatre for the last ten years. He’s also reputed to be applying for British citizenship: America’s loss is definitely our gain.

Spacey’s start in cinema was slow and characterised by a multitude of character roles. I first discovered him in the Richard Pryor/Gene Wilder comedy See No Evil, Hear No Evil, where he appeared as a welldressed, pseudo-English hitman.

Despite the film being a typically outrageous and incredibly funny comedy, Spacey played his role straight and, although a relatively minor character in the film, did well enough to establish himself as

someone worth looking out for in the future.

He next crossed my radar in the star-studded adaptation of David Mamet’s Glengarry Glen Ross, in which he played tyrannical and razor-tongued real estate sales manager John Williamson, a character who is disliked by the other characters. The performance was outstanding given the company he was in: Al Pacino, Ed Harris, Jack Lemmon, Alan Arkin and a barnstorming cameo performance

by Alec Baldwin as Blake; a particularly ruthless and hardnosed salesman-cum-mentor.

HE IS A RARE COMMODITY IN MODERN CINEMA: A BIG-NAME STAR WHO CAN ACT. The film does have a very high profanity count, which may alienate some audiences, but if you can get past this, the snappy dialogue and interaction between the characters is phenomenal.

Around this time, Spacey established himself as a character actor of note and appeared in many TV movies, theatrical productions and mainstream films. Then, in 1995, he burst into mainstream

consciousness as the villainous John Doe – a play on the name given to unidentifiable crime victims – in crime thriller Se7en.

Spacey was a surprise in many respects in this film, mostly because his name didn’t appear in the opening credits or in any of the trailers. He plays a particularly despicable serial killer; in fact one that eclipses Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lecter who, although utterly repugnant and evil, we still find ourselves rooting for in his bid to escape. There is no chance of feeling anything resembling sympathy for Doe: he is evil personified.

This moved Spacey up the Hollywood ladder and was followed by his incredible performance as Roger “Verbal” Kint, a severely handicapped minor criminal in awesome crime film with neo noir undertones, The Usual Suspects.

Again, in a film with an embarrassment of riches in acting talent, Spacey’s understated and subtle portrayal of an understated, almost superfluous character was impressive enough to earn him a well-deserved Best Supporting Actor Academy Award. It is in direct contrast with many of the largerthan-the-screen performances by Gabriel Byrne, Benecio Del Torres and Chazz Palmenteri, and yet totally steals the film. Just in case you haven’t seen it, I won’t ruin it further… but what a film!

Beyond the Sea

See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Glengarry Glen Ross

Se7en

The Usual Suspects

L.A. Confidential

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American Beauty

K-Pax

suburban professional whose life is thrown into chaos by a series of disasters that coincide with a midlife crisis of epic proportions.

His wife Carolyn (Annette Benning) is having an affair and his daughter is having a romance with the nextdoor-neighbour, whose father is a homophobic, crazy ex-marine.

Lester loses his job and ends up working in a fast food restaurant drive through. In amongst this, he develops an obsessive crush on his daughter’s teenage friend (played by Mina Suvari) and develops a taste for pumping iron and smoking marijuana.

There are many more roles I could mention: Larry Hooper in the crazy, off-beat and utterly bizarre The Men Who Stare at Goats is sidesplittingly funny; Chris Sabian in The

Negotiator, a cop thriller also starring Samuel L. Jackson; and the psychotic, paranoid and ruthlessly manipulative Dave Harken in black comedy Horrible Bosses. Right up there with many of my favourites, Horrible Bosses is irreverently and hysterically funny, and I’m sure I’ve worked for a few people like Dave during my career. The only difference is that they haven’t, to my knowledge, taken to shooting people.

Sure, there a few questionable roles in his back catalogue (K-Pax, for example, isn’t my cup of tea), but the same can be said of many a great actor. He can currently be seen on the small screen in a modern reworking of classic political series House of Cards, and of course on DVD in the films mentioned above. I

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Everett Collection/Rex Features

The Men Who Stare at Goats

L.A. Confidential followed some two years later, with two other notables – Outbreak, a conspiracy thriller co-starring Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman, and Swimming with Sharks, with Spacey as Buddy Ackerman, the boss from hell – filling the space between.

This noir adaptation of James Elroy’s thriller of the same name is to-date my favourite Spacey performance as Hollywood detective John “Jack” Vincennes, or ‘the Big V’.

Vincennes is a shady cop in a department rife with corruption, who has a connection with Sid Hudgens (an impeccably oily Danny DeVito), the editor of trashy gossip magazine Hush Hush.

With the information provided by Hudgens, Hollywood Jack makes several high-profile celebrity arrests, all exclusively reported in – you’ve guessed it, Hush, Hush. It all goes wrong for Jack when he gets caught up in a mass fracas and his star becomes tarnished. The rest of the film is all about redemption for Jack as he rediscovers that he is a talented and essentially honest detective. This film has many twists and turns, although mercifully fewer than the book, and is a masterpiece of cinema.

Spacey plays Lester Burnham in American Beauty, a successful

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BOOKS

intensively, which leaves the reader wondering if there really is an international conspiracy underway.

Fact and fiction blend well in this book. If there is darkness in a tale there must be light, and Wendy is not shy in showing who and what that light is. Alec uses many biblical elements in her narrative, and they nearly all seem to neatly conclude at the end of A Pale Horse, although we are left with a mighty cliff hanger.

Like an addict, we are left needing more.

This is a book that has broken the mould by bursting into many top categories in secular bookshops. I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter in this epic series.

With Mark Anderson

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Sexual Healing Gerald Coates and Nathan Ferreira

Get Yourself Booked In! A Boy Named Hogg AGR Moore Delightfully dark in its approach, I instantly became fond of this little book when I picked it up. I found myself drawn in by Moore’s writing.

The characters are fabulous in their makeup and have a way of sending you into a dreamlike state; a hard technique to convey on paper. Moore tells us that the book is about friendship, but I like the mystery throughout, as well as the danger that is littered right to the very end.

The Obamas Jodi Kantor How enticing would it be to get a glimpse into the lives of the Obamas’ day-to-day schedule? Well Kantor allows us to do just that. This book has it all: White House floor plans, meal times, room adjustments and arguments. The Obamas have come from relative obscurity to international fame in little over a decade. Start reading The Obamas to find out what goes on behind those white doors at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

A Pale Horse Wendy Alec When I read the first book in Wendy Alec’s Chronicles of Brothers – The Fall of Lucifer – I fell head over heels for it. Now Alec has released A Pale Horse, the fourth book in the series.

When I heard about the new release I was excited, but a tad anxious.

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How could she top the last three books?

My fears were short-lived. She throws you straight back into a world of demons, international conspiracy, plagues, angels, death, life, the list goes on. Simply put, I am mystified by how Alec creates such vivid and emotion-driven books. This book is a blueprint for how a fantasy book should be written.

A Pale Horse is set in 2025 and the world is a very different place from 2013: a world government is on the horizon; financial collapse has ruined the powerhouses of the past; and all the while the fourth horseman of the apocalypse draws near and the rapture is about to occur. Alec has not pulled facts from the air. She has researched

Porn is crippling young men, breaking up relationships and destroying marriages. Sexual Healing gives an open and honest account from Ferreira, who was addicted to pornography for four years. For him, a flirtation with porn turned into a nightmare, and he eventually came close to ending his life. This is a ministry some are too scared to preach; however, enter Gerald Coates, who has been counselling people who are held captive by porn for many years. This is a mind-opening story of deliverance.

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Argo Antonio Mendez and Matt Baglio Once again, truth is stranger than fiction! Six American hostages have escaped from their embassy, which is overrun by protesting Iranians.

They now find themselves trapped in the Canadian embassy in Iran.

Fear, shock and suspense lurk around every page turn. How do they escape? Only an audacious feat will do. It’s no wonder Hollywood snapped this book up in the form of Ben Affleck’s Oscar-winning film.

This appeals to the intelligence agency fan inside most men! I Mark was born in Belfast, and developed a book and football obsession at a young age. He and wife Lisa belong to Fishgate, a church plant in Newtownabbey. Read Mark’s musings at overtakenheart.blogspot.co.uk.

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Five FREE copies of Sexual Healing to give away!

Co-author Gerald Coates has been pastor of or provided support to Sir Cliff Richard, Daniel Bedingfield, Boy George, John Lodge and Rick Parfit, and has even had songs dedicated to him during large concerts. But with which of these has he sung in a public place?

Simply email your answer to steve@sorted-magazine.com to win a copy.

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MUSIC

With Sue Rinaldi

Stryper

God’s Great Dance Floor

Second Coming Once again, Stryper wield the musical sword of Christian metal and reclaim their place as soldiers of rock! Each track on their longawaited new album marches triumphantly through the ears and parades before you in the familiar uniform of tight and fiery arrangements, with harmonic blasts of unyielding guitar riffs and Sweetstained vocals.

This 16-track album, containing new recordings of 14 classics and two excellent brand new songs, is much more than a welcome return to form!

A heavier and upgraded Stryper is most definitely ready for action.

Martin Smith God’s Great Dance Floor Always a purveyor of compelling visual imagery and captivating melody, songwriter and vocalist Martin Smith emerges from the history-making epoch of the band Delirious? to write a new and evolving story.

At irregular intervals over the past 12 months, he has released four EP movements, each containing four songs and carrying the imaginative insignia God’s Great Dance Floor. For those already fluent in the ‘Smith-ological’ dialect, there is plenty of familiar ground to resurrect memories of an earlier age of cutting-edge, generation-stirring songs.

“Fire Never Sleeps” explodes, “Redemption Day” detonates and “Soldiers” rallies the troops. Recognisable vocabulary and themes also continue to flourish: fire and flame; mountains and sea; waiting and carrying.

Springing up, however, are signs and wonders of the new journey in the shape of the effervescent “Only Got Eyes for You”, the highly enjoyable “Awake My Soul” and the four-on-the-floor title track, laced with keyboard stabs aplenty, in a Motown-meets-Tijuana kind of way! There are even moments when you imagine Robbie Williams covering a few of these!

But in true Martin style, it is the vulnerable and emotional songs, such as “Waiting Here for You”, “Solomon”, “Safe in Your Arms” and “Catch Every Teardrop” that ultimately raise the temperature, offering divine glimpses of hope, belonging and purpose.

Ben Howard Every Kingdom

Surfer Ben Howard is accustomed to riding the waves, and since releasing “Every Kingdom”, the crest of his musical wave rises higher and higher with no sign of breaking!

His innovative guitar trickery and captivating voice embody songs of love lost and memories found; of friendship and fear; and of questions about the cyclical nature of life.

Opening song “Old Pine” hints at the pleasures awaiting, and this double Brit Award winning troubadour, with an outrageous talent for melody, does not disappoint!

Martin Smith God’s Great Dance Floor

Ellie Goulding Halcyon This English singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist appears to be redesigning musical genres as she explores elements of folk, indie, pop and electronica. Her sonic attitude and trademark voice – soaked in vibrato and coated with fragile innocence – successfully bring a synergy that promises something fresh and inventive.

The pulsing “Anything Could Happen” successfully cohabits with the more experimental “Joy” and “Explosions”, while “My Blood” hints at what is to come with its soaring melody and greater lyrical poetry.

Halcyon sets the stage for ‘Ellietronica’ to become her unique best. I Sue Rinaldi travels internationally as a concert artist, worship co-ordinator, speaker and creative consultant. A self-confessed info junkie and movie enthusiast, her interest in culture, justice, technology and the future fuels her living and writing (www.suerinaldi.net).

Ben Howard Every Kingdom

Stryper Second Coming

Ellie Goulding Halcyon

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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SAM BURNETT

Cars

CARS Platform for the Future

The bits underneath the surface are as important as the bits on top. Sam Burnett looks at some of the measures manufacturers are using to cut costs while still remaining on top.

L

ast issue I waxed all kinds of lyrical about the impressive seventhgeneration version of the Volkswagen Golf. It’s a good job the car was quite good, because the platform that underpins it (the MQB system is what VW calls it, as I may have mentioned in passing) is going to be pressed into service at every available opportunity.

The main aim is to save a bit of cash. Very soon, the majority of motors coming from the likes of Volkswagen, Skoda, Audi and Seat will be able to use the same engines, electronics and all sorts of other things interchangeably.

Any car could be built on any assembly line, and the company will still save money. It’s

Henry Ford’s assembly line meets Dr Frankenstein’s monster; a truly astonishing vision of the future and the foundation of the company’s audacious bid to be the world’s largest manufacturer.

The second car off the blocks is the all-new Skoda Octavia, a family hatchback from the Czech brand. It has become notoriously popular with minicab drivers, but these particular customers will probably want to find something more downmarket in the future.

Such is the step up in quality with the new car that they won’t be too willing to have hen do stragglers vomiting in the back. They’d do better to get something that wipes clean, like a Chevrolet Cruze.

The quality of the Octavia is initially perplexing, because it takes the car much closer to the level of refinement you’ll enjoy in an Audi or a VW Passat. But after a while, you come to the realisation that the company does it just because it can. The Germans just don’t see the point in building something cheaply if they don’t have to.

The Octavia has always been pitched at this sort of ‘half class’, somewhere between the likes of the Focus and Mondeo. It appeals to drivers of the former, who want a bit more space, and of the latter, who aren’t particularly bothered. It’s been a neat trick, but when you look at the cavernous boot and room for five adults, you wonder how you can take f Sorted. May/Jun 2013

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Skoda’s claim that the car fights against comparative featherweights like the Renault Megane or Vauxhall Astra seriously.

The Megane certainly comes with an estate variant that offers similar amounts of storage to the Skoda. It’s a confusing business, trying to decide what car you might want to drive, but so often it comes down to the marketing. Which is why it doesn’t really matter that you can get the exact same engines in a Golf, an Audi A3 and an Octavia, with all offering similar equipment levels, the same safety systems and the same switchgear.

The same headlight control from a £7,000 Seat Mii will pop up in a £60,000 Audi A8. It’s kind of bonkers, and it shouldn’t work, but it does.

A car that shares none of the same underpinnings as its namesake, but trades heavily on having a recognisable face, is the new Fiat 500L. The L stands for large, which is the simplest explanation for the fact that Fiat has decided to launch an MPV version of its retro 500 supermini for people who value the cutesy 1960s look of the smaller car, but put a greater value on being able to fit anyone in the back.

In fact, the L is a sort of quirky compromise for people who have to trade in their old car (the one they really wanted and saved up for) for something that will contain their new and expanding family units. According to the latest research, babies each require around half a ton of support equipment just to leave the house (research I just made up, that is), and the 500L is exactly the sort of car that those babies’ parents need. That last bit is based on Fiat’s research.

FIAT USED TO BUILD GENUINELY INNOVATIVE CARS, LIKE THE FIAT MULTIPLA, BUT NO ONE BOUGHT THEM. The L has basically nothing in common with the standard 500, short of a passing resemblance that doesn’t bear a great deal of close scrutiny. We had a drive of the 1.6-litre diesel engine, which is bizarrely enough the most powerful and largest of those on offer with the car. It coped very well, with plenty of torque and the odd

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gruff note seeping into the cabin. It’s all fairly standard inside, with none of the small 500’s retro feast of details.

The L plays it straight, which is probably just as well. It features practical touches, such as easily adjustable seating and a capacious boot with a flexible floor, a plethora of little cubbies up front and, in a pleasingly o eat move, the first option-fit coffee machine in a production car. This feature wasn’t available at the UK launch of the 500L (just a bottle of water in the door pocket, how louche), but we can’t wait to try it out.

Through careful interrogation of Fiat’s Italian product managers, I ascertained that it holds 500ml of water (that’s one cup for me, then), uses coffee pods (banish all thoughts of tossing used grounds out the window on the motorway!) and sadly only works when the car is at a standstill. Fiat’s PR team is not of the opinion that needing a coffee is sufficient cause to justify stopping on the hard shoulder, but I look forward to challenging that notion in court. You may think I’m getting a little overenthused here, but I’ve not been this excited about an optional extra since I fell asleep in the gripping embrace of the then-new Audi A6’s massage seats (I wasn’t driving at the time, I hasten to add).

The 500L is a competent enough car, but faintly depressing in the sense that it is a product conceived through marketing that will no doubt sell on the basis of its strong advertising campaign. Fiat used to build genuinely innovative cars, like the Fiat Multipla, but no one bought them. In which case, we only have ourselves to blame.

The third new car from our platform-sharing triumvirate comes from what used to be the world’s largest manufacturer. It is primarily its own thing, but it also happens to be the latest car to get ‘hybrided up’ by Toyota. The new Auris hatchback has only been out a couple of months, but already Toyota has found somewhere to squeeze in the electric motor and battery pack to attract the planet-saving, hair-shirt-types who like that sort of thing.

Actually, that’s slightly misleading. The planet-saving, hair-shirt-types tend to cycle, and driving a hybrid is marginally less cool than it has been of late, as more and more cars get released onto the market with the technology fitted.

Toyota is still at the head of the pack, though. It has been pushing hybrids for many years, and the technology is in its third generation at the Japanese company. It makes for space age fun, running on electricity at low speeds and charging up the batteries under braking with a Jetsonsesque whine.

Toyota’s latest new design language is apparently called ‘keen look’, the sort of expression that usually results in you having a keen look through the publicity material to work out whether your leg is being pulled or not. Keen or not, the styling is certainly a sight better than it was.

I’d still worry that if I owned an Auris I’d be trying to climb into someone else’s Hyundai at the supermarket, but at least it’s handsome. The interior is much more

swish, although some aren’t fond of the slabby dash. I happen to like it, but the quality of the plastics is rather suspect at this price level. Hybrid or no, the fact is you could get a nice Golf for similar cash. That Volkswagen haunts the entire industry!

The prospect of 74mpg is enticing; we managed 65mpg on a jaunt into the countryside, so the official figure is likely to remain a mere enticement. That’s a respectable figure for a family hatch, though, and the Auris is fully capable of averaging in the mid-50s around town. That’s impressive.

THE PLANET-SAVING, HAIR-SHIRT-TYPES TEND TO CYCLE, AND DRIVING A HYBRID IS MARGINALLY LESS COOL THAN IT HAS BEEN OF LATE. Quality-wise, Toyota still lags behind much of the competition (that dashed Volkswagen again), and in dynamics too. The draw of the Japanese cars has always been the famous reliability and head-over-heart financial calculations. If the company would only take note of both Volkswagen and Fiat – that is, quantity and quality in tandem, and a bit of marketing panache – it would become an unstoppable force in its quest to come out on top. I Perhaps the greatest driver of his generation, Sam Burnett is a Londonbased motoring writer, wit and conversationalist. He has previously worked in politics and the third sector, but definitely prefers flying around the world and testing cars. In his spare time he blogs, tweets and does other faddish things before losing interest.

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SIX OF THE BEST Top Dog

They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend and dogs are a man’s, so I’m not sure what that reflects when it comes to deciding which is the brainiest gender! Either way, we’ve scoured the globe to find the finest canine clobber for dog lovers everywhere.

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A classic, stylish design comprising the finest materials and handcrafted in England.

Provide the ultimate in comfort and style for your pooch with this orthopaedic dog bed. Available in three sizes, this stylish memory foam bed range will keep Bonzo in bed throughout the night.

RRP £42 www.muttsandhounds.co.uk

RRP £39.99-£45.99 www.lsprints.co.uk

Cranberry Collar

Personalised ‘Posh’ Orthopaedic Dog Bed

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Pet Lounge Beanbags Beautiful and comfy, these indoor/outdoor beanbag beds come in two sizes, so even the largest of dogs can stretch right out. The Top faux fur zips off for easy cleaning, and so that you can remove the waterproof base and use it as an outdoor bed.

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Personalised Dog Towels Available in three sizes and four colours, you can either have these super towels embroidered with your dog’s name or initials, or with a bone or dog (or even both) to keep your dog warm, dry and stylish.

RRP £18 www.babatude.com

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RRP £129-£149 www.ambientlounge.co.uk

6

KONG

Letterfest offers a bespoke, hand-drawn sketch of your dog based on a photograph, including the pet’s name or personal message. It comes printed on a choice of three background colours: duck egg blue, sage green or sandstone.

Enjoyed by millions of dogs worldwide for more than 36 years, dogs associate KONG toys with FUN. Stuffed, with food or treats, these toys become the perfect training aid for the most common behavioural problems and are recommended globally by canine professionals.

RRP £35 www.letterfest.com

RRP from around £5 www.KONGcompany.com

Bespoke Pet Portrait

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TOP GEAR

The greatest gear, gadgets and gizmos we could find

BeeWi Storm Bee Take to the skies without leaving your couch, thanks to this smartphone-controlled IR chopper. Just load the app on your mobile and feel it rumble as you fire up the Storm Bee’s engines. Steer with the simple touchscreen controls; or better yet, tilt your phone forwards, backwards, left and right. Dual rotostructure blades allow for extra stability when flying and ensure they’re a doddle to control.

RRP from £49.99 www.amazon.co.uk

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BubbleScope Sometimes feel like you’re living in a bubble? Well now you can show everybody what it looks like from where you’re standing, with the revolutionary BubbleScope.

This 360º lens attachment for your iPhone, BlackBerry 10 and Galaxy S3 phone is capable of shooting stills and videos (which its makers call ‘bubbles’). Simply attach the included case, pop up the lens from its protective cap and fire up the free BubblePix App. You’ll be bubbling away in no time.

RRP £49.99 www.bubblescope.com

Corkcicle How do you keep your wines at the right drinking temperatures? it’s a great dilemma.

Too cold and it could mask the vintner’s uniquely crafted complexities. Too warm and the flavours may take a back seat. The answer to this perplexity? Corkcicle. Placed inside the bottle, this corking concept chills the wine from the inside.

RRP £19.99 www.corkcicle.co.uk 34

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Men Rock A new men’s shaving and grooming products line – including exciting and dangerous things such as straight razors and their accessories – is to attempt to get absolutely all men, everywhere, to use its stuff without a single celebrity endorsement, infographic consisting of misleading pseudoscientific claptrap or two-bit lifestyle surveys dressed up as news. These guys offer complete kits with everything a bloke needs, including the razor, brush, stand, proper shave cream and several other luxury bits.

RRP £36.50-£39.00 www.menrock.co.uk

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BBQ Pride Grill Cleaner At long last, an all-in-one solution that can be used on the whole of your barbeque including the inside, helping to make lighter work of the big clean after the party’s ended. Just place the grills and racks into the special bag and leave to soak until all the dirt and grease is removed. Then simply rinse off and admire the gleaming transformation.

RRP £3.99 Available from all major supermarkets

KitSound Hive With its powerful digital amplifier and active drivers, the KS Hive delivers surprisingly outstanding sound quality, giving probably the best audio for a product of its size to date.

Compatible with most devices via Bluetooth, it also offers ‘line-in connectivity’, meaning it will work with most mobile phones, computers, tablets and MP3 players. It even has a massive ten hours of music playtime from its built-in rechargeable battery.

RRP £74.99 www.kitsound.co.uk

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Hover Slip-On

BugPlug

Style and comfort come together in this new Hover Slip-on from Crocs. The stylish canvas upper and Croslite material footbed provide lightweight cushioning comfort and the easy slip-on design makes this the perfect casual summer shoe.

TwelveSouth’s PlugBug fixes one of those problems you didn’t know you had, and in a very clever way. It’s an attachment that adds a USB charging port to the standard power adapter for an Apple notebook. This way, users can charge an iPhone or iPad (or any other USB device) and a MacBook simultaneously, using the same wall outlet.

RRP £27.95 www.amazon.co.uk

RRP £39.99 www.crocs.co.uk

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TOP BUY Scientific Spice Rack Spice up your savoury science experiments and add some stylish elements to your kitchen with these culinary chemistry accoutrements. Featuring five glass test-tubes with silicone stoppers (for added freshness) in a traditional laboratory rack, choose from a periodic table of 36 easy-peel, reusable herb and spice labels to ensure your flavour formulas are accurate.

RRP £19.99 www.firebox.com

Men’s mugs These ‘mugs for thinking while drinking’ combine quality bone china with dates, facts and quotes. What a brilliant idea! Perfect for the man who needs to know everything.

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PETER HORNE

60 Second Life Coach

The Creative You Dreamer position This is where you create possibilities. Here you are the visionary, creating dreams without any restriction placed upon them. Ask yourself, What do I want? Don’t allow any negative or critical thoughts to creep in.

Realist position This is where you organise your plans and evaluate them with a view to creating an action plan. Ask yourself, What will I do to make these plans a reality?

Critic position

B

y the time you read this, spring should have sprung and the winter cold will have been relegated to just a distant memory. Spring is associated with creativity and all things new; essential qualities in today’s rapidly changing world.

Most of us will be aware of the recent controversy surrounding the UK’s EU membership, which some people consider to be the modern-day equivalent to the old Roman Empire. Interestingly, when it comes to creativity, the Roman Empire apparently had no culture of innovation at all across its whole 800-year history.

Identify and replace any unhelpful beliefs, such as the common one: “I’m not good enough”. Thomas Eddison, inventor of the electric light bulb and more than 1,000 other inventions, was expelled from school at the age of 12. The lesson here is, don’t let your past failures dictate your future possibilities.

Replace these unhelpful beliefs with more useful statements such as: “I’m really interested in finding out how to [insert your own goal statement]. A statement like this will give your unconscious mind permission to find out how to make your dream possible.

THE LESSON HERE IS, DON’T LET YOUR PAST FAILURES DICTATE YOUR FUTURE POSSIBILITIES

Find some useful resources to inspire you to success. I’ve picked up a copy of a really practical book by bestselling author Tony Buzan entitled Head First: 10 ways to tap into your natural genius. This book is full of useful techniques to help inspire you towards creative thinking.

According to New Scientist magazine, the empire faltered on the verge of inventing both the printing press and the steam engine, postponing the industrial revolution by almost 2,000 years. Eventually the British made it happen, turning an “inconsequential European backwater” into “the world’s foremost industrial power”, according to Steve McKevitt and Tony Ryan’s Project Sunshine: How science can use the sun to fuel and feed the world.

So how can we help to foster innovation and 36

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creativity? Here are three ideas to get you started:

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As a final thought, Walt Disney was responsible for creating Disney World in Florida, which opened in 1971. Sadly, Disney died before the project came to fruition. When his brother Roy was interviewed about this, the reporter mentioned how unfortunate it was that Walt did not live to see it built. Roy Disney gave an insightful reply: “Walt saw it first; that’s why you’re seeing it now.” I

2 3

Try the Disney Creativity strategy. You should be able to find this on the internet. This is a good, all-purpose strategy for creative thinking and is effective when used informally for team-based creative thinking sessions. This strategy requires you to separate out the process of creative thinking into three separate compartments. You will need to think of the outcome or situation you want to explore.

Mark out three separate areas on the floor (or rooms if you have a large enough building) and label each of them as follows:

Peter Horne is a qualified life coach with a passion for helping people change stuff in their lives when they feel stuck. He works with individuals and organisations, and can be contacted at enquiries@therealyou.eu. Peter is married with four children and is a member of Arun Community Church in West Sussex.

© Cybermayberry | Dreamstime.com

© Les Cunliffe | Dreamstime.com

This is where you test your plan. Look for problems and difficulties. Ask yourself, What could go wrong?

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BRAD PITT

Family Guy Some questioned Brad Pitt’s family values when his marriage to Jennifer Aniston broke down amid rumours of infidelity. But since meeting Angelina Jolie, family life appears to have become his main priority.

BY VERONICA PARKER

S

“IT’S NOT UNUSUAL FOR THE KIDS TO BE COVERED IN PAINT. WE HAVE MUD FIGHTS. IT’S CHAOS FROM MORNING UNTIL THE LIGHTS GO OUT, AND SOMETIMES AFTER THAT…”

From One Mob to Another

Brad Pitt as Mr. O’Brien in The Tree of Life

Meanwhile, that other ‘job’, sees Brad playing a mob hit man in Killing Them Softly, a gangster saga that draws parallels between organised crime and the Darwinian imperative of modern corporate culture. Pitt’s character, Jackie Cogan, is sent in to clean up the mess resulting from the robbery of a mob-sanctioned poker game.

Behind this stark maxim lies the allegorical premise that the recession has led to a growing political embrace of the rule of the free market at the expense of defending those who are least able to fend for themselves in society.

Brad believes that this is a perversion of the nobler ideals of the American Dream, a myth he still embraces, albeit rather more “cynically”.

“The story is basically a metaphor about business, and how business can be very Darwinian and cutthroat,” says the actor. “There’s a danger in society becoming too focused on ruthless competition and losing all sense of community and hope. The financial crisis has made us more cynical about our future and the killings that take place in the film are symptomatic of that.”

Pitt reveals that he and the film’s director Andrew Dominik started working on the idea for the film in the early stages of the global economic downturn. “That’s why we thought the story could mirror, in some way, the harsh reality how society has been a victim of financial deregulation and the kind of greed we saw with how the banks and the hedge funds and other financial institutions operated and brought us to the abyss,” he says.

“What’s frightening and disappointing is that they escaped virtually unscathed from the mess they f

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Hubert Boesl/FAMOUS

FAMOUS

even years into their relationship, Brad and Angelina are rumoured to be getting ready to tie the knot at Chateau Miraval, their €40 million palazzo along the French Riviera. Shuttling six children between homes in London, LA, New York and southern France can at times resemble a covert military operation, but the Hollywood A-lister has no qualms about logistics; he lives for his kids.

“Being a father has changed my entire outlook on life,” he says. “I carry on a running conversation with myself about how I’m raising our children, the kind of education I’m giving them and how they seem to be evolving. I want to help them grow up to be very independent and aware individuals.

“The kids are a huge part of my world and I love being an active and engaged father and family man. Sure, it involves a lot of work, but that still leaves me plenty of time to look after my other job.”

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NYPW/FAMOUS

BRAD PITT

helped create and nothing has really changed when it comes to the rules as to how the financial system continues to function. We have to decide whether we want responsible capitalism or brutal, unregulated capitalism that is an invitation to criminal behaviour.

That’s where government has a role to play in preserving the kinds of democratic ideals that go far beyond the law of the marketplace.”

Killing Them Softly is set in New Orleans, where Pitt has spent several millions of dollars through his Make it Right foundation to help build 200 self-sustaining, “green” homes as a way of helping the flood-ravaged city recover from the devastation left by Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Meanwhile, Angelina continues her work as a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador and fervent supporter of various humanitarian causes.

Speaking about the decision to film in the city, Brad says: “In a way it was a very fitting setting for a city suffering from economic hardship. I have a special connection to New Orleans and I’ve been trying to play my part in helping rebuild it and bringing a little hope back to the people who live there.

“I love the city and the people there and I thought it would be a great idea to shoot there, pump several million dollars into the local economy, and hire as many crew members and technicians as we possibly could.”

The Family Man When he’s not on set, Pitt, Jolie and their six children – Madox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh and twins Vivienne and Knox – love spending time together and being a ‘normal’ family.

“Angie and I do everything we can to carve out some semblance of normalcy for them,” he says. “It’s not unusual for the kids to be covered in paint. We have mud fights. It’s chaos from morning until the lights go out, and sometimes after that… I love playing around at night with the older ones or sitting down and reading books with Mad. It’s the most satisfying feeling in the world.”

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Prior to meeting Angelina, Brad had made it clear that having a big family had always been a lifelong dream. So when he became father to several children, it didn’t take long to adapt.

He recalls: “When Angie would have to go away and work on a film and I would be in charge of the kids, I discovered that it was very fulfilling to be home and have that extended time where I didn’t have to focus on anything except being a father.

“I’m very proud of Angie and how she has made this family work. I love the fact that we have this kind of incredible mix of cultures and how they’re growing up together and feel part of one crazy, happy family. It’s a bit of a madhouse at times, but you kind of love it.”

Happy Snapping However, life for ‘Brangelina’ and the children isn’t without his challenges. While Brad recognises that being constantly followed by photographers is part of the life they have chosen, it certainly makes getting from place to place a lot tougher.

“We move around a lot; we’re like nomads,” he says.

“It’s easier in southern France because we have much more privacy and the people who live in the area are incredibly respectful of us and we can move around pretty freely in the villages.

“The best thing about our home there is that the children enjoy a much more normal environment and we don’t have to hide as much or strategise as much to move around. Even for me and Angie, it’s a lot more relaxed. I haven’t seen the lobby of a hotel in years because I enter and leave via the back door, and in France we feel like a much more normal family and we don’t deal with as many distractions.”

This is a luxury they do not enjoy back home: “We have to plan an escape every day just to get out of the house in LA; kind of a mission impossible with decoys, and that’s the life we live in, and that’s the one we asked for. We

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TIME AND TIME AGAIN

know there’s a bounty on our heads for photos and we’re hunted for that reason alone. So it’s a constant in our lives and the main aggravation is that it distorts the kids’ view of their world, even though the older ones don’t pay attention to the photographers anymore.”

By Mark Melluish

MAURICE CLEMENTS/FAMOUS

According to Brad, balancing the life of a movie star and a father of six is rewarding, but it can certainly take its toll. “I still have to get up at 6am and make breakfast for six kids. I don’t see my daily life as being that remarkable, except for the fact that I’ve struck the lottery when it comes to my work and the opportunities it’s given me,” he says.

“Sometimes you’re tired and you kind of function on automatic, but I really appreciate this time where the kids are still young and they’re forming right in front of your eyes. I’m trying to enjoy it all because I know that one day I’m going to look back and they’ll all be grown up and I’ll miss this time.

“Being a parent of several children is exhausting no matter what. I’m lucky that Angie has so much energy and never gets down or complains. The only time I’ve ever seen her really tired is after the twins were born, and that proved very demanding and made it difficult for her to spend as much time with the other children as she did before.

“But now that the twins are older, it’s becoming a lot easier for all of us. I mean, when you have a big family, you learn to develop good logistical training and then it’s just like a machine that keeps moving forward.”

While acting was once the be all and end all for Brad, his priorities are now very different. He still loves taking on challenging roles, but Hollywood has loosened its grip on the star a little.

“I‘m very happy with the projects I’ve been involved with lately, he concludes. “I still have a great passion for storytelling that has been part of my life ever since I was a kid, when my parents would take us to drive-in movies.

“As an actor, I love being able to explore all the complex aspects of human nature and how we’re constantly in various stages of conflict with each other. But it’s not as consuming as it used to be because my family is my priority and I’d rather spend more time with my kids.” I

© Ron Chapple | Dreamstime.com

“BEING A PARENT OF SEVERAL CHILDREN IS EXHAUSTING NO MATTER WHAT. I’M LUCKY THAT ANGIE HAS SO MUCH ENERGY AND NEVER GETS DOWN OR COMPLAINS.”

E

very good father wants to do his best for his children. Yet often we get so busy with everyday activities that we forget the important things in life. When talking about how to be a great dad, I often use the visual aid of a jar with some large stones and some sand. The sand represents the everyday stuff of life such as emails, TV, drinking with mates and playing sport, while the rocks represent the important things in our children’s lives. If we put the sand in the jar first, there is no space for the rocks.

So what are some of the important ‘rocks’ we need to put in place to do our best as dads?

Encourage them. It’s so easy in the busyness of everyday life to be caught telling our children what to do rather than encouraging them. We can encourage with just a few words, either written or spoken or even sent by text. Encouragement doesn’t cost anything, but it offers a huge return.

Listen to them. Listening to someone means you think they are important and that their opinions are valued. Any child who grows up knowing this will be confident and prepared to step out in life to make a difference Get physical. Play with them and give them plenty of hugs. As dads we have a very important role to play. It’s not just mothers who are to offer hugs; fathers should as well. This helps our children to grow up emotionally healthy.

Give them time. Many of our children just want our time. A survey in the US claimed that ‘time with dad’ was the most asked-for Christmas gift. That’s a challenge to all of us, especially if our work takes us away form home. But how about regular Skype calls or long emails? Be creative in your time giving and give as much as possible.

Believe in them. To have someone believe in you is such a gift. We can give confidence and strength just by communicating belief in our children. Tell them they are great. Let them know how much you love them.

Being a great dad is a huge challenge, but also a great adventure. Enjoy every moment. I Mark and Lindsay Melluish live in West London and lead St Paul’s Church, Ealing; a vibrant church of around 1,000 people. Their heart is to make church relevant and accessible in today’s culture. Together they have written and pioneered the Family Time Parenting Children Course and Mark has co-authored a book on evangelism. Mark is also one of the national leaders of New Wine, a network of 1,800 or so churches across the UK.

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GANDYS FLIP FLOPS

Best Foot Forward Buying a pair of flip flops rarely has a global impact, but it soon will if the Gandys brand continues to grow. As well as having an attractive product to sell, the company’s founders – brothers Rob and Paul Forkan – have an incredible story to tell and an equally amazing plan for the future.

BY JOY TIBBS

I

n 2001, Kevin and Sandra Forkan decided to leave England and travel the world so that their children could experience new cultures and reach out to those in need. The couple had run their own successful fashion business but wanted more from life. The plan was to spend a year exploring five different countries over a five-year period. It was to be the journey of a lifetime for the couple and four of their children: Rob (13), Paul (11), Mattie (9) and Rosie (5).

After spending a wonderful year in India working with local charities as well as enjoying plenty of educational and cultural experiences, the family moved to Sri Lanka.

They spent a few days in a small fishing town called Weligama over Christmas before continuing their travels; but their trip was cut short when the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami struck. It killed an estimated 250,000 people altogether, including around 35,000 in Sri Lanka. Weligama was completely decimated.

Kevin and Sandra did everything they could to keep Mattie and Rosie from drowning, and Rob was able to save himself and Paul. But unfortunately, the four children would never see their parents again; they were swept away by the powerful waves. Lucky to be alive, but devastated and shocked by what had happened, the siblings spent a

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horrendous week desperately trying to make it back to the UK without documents, money or protection.

On returning to London, these young family members had to rebuild their lives; returning to school, finding jobs and trying to come to terms with what had happened. But life was far from over and the older brothers knew they wanted to continue to travel and to help others, as their parents had done. They spent several years roaming the globe before returning to the UK and setting up their now burgeoning business.

We caught up with Rob to find out about the flip flop business that grew out of the brothers’ Brixton bedrooms. A percentage of each pair of flip flops sold is set aside to build orphanages and care for the millions of children around the globe who are struggling to survive.

Their Orphans for Orphans initiative has already touched many lives, but there is plenty more to come.

How did you feel when your parents told you the family would be moving to India?

We were over the moon when we got the opportunity; it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Was it a great experience before the tsunami?

It’s hard to put into words, it was literally incredible.

Travelling around India experiencing different cultures, playing cricket on the beach and volunteering; trying

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GANDYS FLIP FLOPS out different foods… It was a long way from being a ‘normal’ classroom situation over here.

You and your three siblings had a torrid time getting help after this tragic event. What kept you going?

I still don’t know how anyone managed to do it. We just kept our heads up, kept motivated and made sure we got back to safety. We had to stay calm so we could deal with what was in hand.

What happened when the four of you got back to the UK?

WE WANT TO BE A GLOBAL BRAND, AND WE WANT OUR MESSAGE TO BE GLOBAL.

Tell us about Mango House…

We went to school and travelled all over India and we spent time in Goa, where there is this really good children’s home that provides education, medication and nutrition to children in the surrounding areas, including the slums. I’ve been out a few times and Paul has been a few times. It’s a smaller charity but it’s very transparent about its costs. We set up our business so that it will be sustainable and can support projects like this. The more it grows, the more we will be able to continue to give this support.

We spent a couple of weeks in India over Christmas and hopefully we’ll be back in June to Mango House.

At first we weren’t exactly full of energy; we were a bit shell-shocked. We tried to get back into work or school and travelling again to keep some distance from what had happened.

I hear that your vision is to have your own children’s home. How are these plans coming along?

How did you and Paul come up with the idea of Gandys?

We want to set it up in Goa but there’s lots to be planned; there is no overnight plan.

We were at a festival and we kept hearing this urban term – “My mouth’s as dry as Gandhi’s flip flop” – and it escalated from there really. We changed the spelling because we didn’t want to make it controversial. We built the brand based on our own beliefs and on everything we had learnt as children.

How hands-on will you be in setting it up and running it?

I know your parents ran their own fashion company, but how qualified were you to set up your own shoemaking business?

They had a similar business model; it’s the way our family has always worked. It’s a little bit outside the box, but it’s nice because we are able to do our own thing.

We’re not sat at a desk all day: we do a lot of university talks and travel quite a bit, and we do quite a lot of creative stuff as well.

Most people won’t attempt something at that kind of level, but then with what we had experienced and seen as kids we were never really going to do something ‘normal’. It’s not that intimidating when you’ve done what we’ve done. We’ve learnt as we’ve gone along and as long as we put in the effort and have the passion for it, it seems to work.

When we told people about our England-based flip flop idea they thought we were crazy, but attitudes have changed towards it. A lot of people just follow the system and don’t think about stepping outside the box.

It can be daunting, but it goes back to the life we had as children. I can’t see myself ever working for anyone else again, and what’s the worst that can happen? If we make mistakes, we just don’t do that again. In the past we bounced ideas off entrepreneurs and now we’ve got other people asking us!

We want to be involved as much as we can. It’s tricky because of what we’re trying to run here… At the moment we’re trying to learn the art of delegation. The other thing as well is that it’s not about just us working with the children. There need to be people with local knowledge in place who can speak the language and understand local customs.

If you had loads of Westerners coming over all the time it would be kind of like a zoo. Handing out sweets and toys doesn’t really set something up with a strong future.

We need to ask ourselves, what do these guys really need? Also, we don’t want to put local people out of jobs.

What’s your long-term plan for Gandys?

We want to be a global brand, and we want our message to be global. Orphans for Orphans is quite a powerful statement, and it’s not just about orphans; it’s for any children in need. We’ve been in a third-world country with no food and no money so we understand.

We want to have global projects all over the world as well.

You can buy Gandys flip flops at Selfridges, House of Fraser, ASOS, TOPMAN, Soletrader, USC, Schuh, and many other retailers. Or you can buy online at www.gandysflipflops.com. I As well as serving as deputy editor of Sorted and sister publication Liberti, Joy Tibbs runs an editorial service called Joy of Editing (www.joyofediting.co.uk). Her clients include businesses, authors and churches across the UK and beyond.

Gandys is now selling in some pretty prestigious stores. How did that come about?

A few people have asked us “How did you get into the major retailers?” You’ve got to have a good product and good branding. We’ve worked hard and have come up with something that is durable, comfortable, comes in bright colours and has quite a unique rope pattern. More retailers are being added to the list constantly. It’s exciting but scary as well; we’re working really hard to deal with the demand.

What’s it like working so closely with a sibling?

It’s good, to be fair. We live together, travel together, play sport together. We’re very close. Sometimes we get frustrated with each other, but that’s probably standard for brothers. It seems to work quite well.

If one of us has a good day and one has a bad day, we try to pull each other through. We were in the Sri Lanka situation together and seeing as we got through that, this is not too daunting. We’ve got the same attitude: [Paul] works hard and is passionate; he’s very motivated.

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GREEN SHED VIDEO

LIFEINFILM

BY JOY TIBBS

W

e’ve all seen viral videos like Gangnam Style, which provoke a huge reaction the minute they hit our screens. Often they attract followers from across the globe and a host of parodies invariably crop up. But although they can be fun, their value does not extend beyond entertainment.

Peter Barry is in the video production business and has worked on some pretty high-profile projects, but the films he makes are slightly different. The aim of his videos is to make a difference in the lives of the people featured and in the lives of the people watching.

While working in further education with special needs kids back in the eighties, Peter realised how effective videos could be in teaching life skills. Short films could hold their attention in a way that textbooks simply couldn’t. He became the resident video expert at the college and began to learn everything he could about producing attentiongrabbing video. He was soon imparting this knowledge to colleagues and to the students themselves.

However, focusing on film made him realise that he would rather be producing video than teaching on it. The mechanics of making film fascinated him, so when he was

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offered an opportunity to pursue the interest at a Christian company, he snapped it up. Before he could say “gu ron gam gak jo gin yo ja”, he found himself travelling to countries such as Cambodia, Bhutan, Indonesia, Thailand, Malawi and India to film.

Up close and personal Peter describes this job as a “God-given opportunity”, and loved the variety of being out in the field one moment and then in the studio turning what he had captured into something really fresh and creative the next. But the work isn’t always easy. He work often takes him to “hot places you wouldn’t to go as a tourist”; places where there is poverty and conflict. “It is very humbling really, getting right into the heart of things and seeing how people really live,” he says.

Although on paper, the most ‘dangerous’ place Peter has been is Afghanistan, it was a trip to Angola that shocked him the most. The visit was his first major trip and it came right at the end of the country’s 26-year Civil War. “I don’t think anything can prepare you for the state the country was in; it was complete anarchy, really,” he tells Sorted. “There were so many people with missing limbs from landmines. The year we were there, the UN said Angola was the worst country to be born in because of the devastation.”

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GREEN SHED VIDEO What made the job even more difficult was his proximity to the people who were suffering. Peter recalls feeling a bit voyeuristic as he filmed people rummaging through rubbish dumps in an attempt to find food and other salvageable objects. But although this didn’t make him “feel so great” at the time, he kept in mind the purpose of the film he was making: to raise awareness about the Angolan people’s suffering and to raise money to help them.

Peter recalls: “I still remember the look of pained indignation on the face of one woman that said, quite clearly: ‘In another life, this could be you not me,’ and I actually felt ashamed and somehow voyeuristic. However, my director made it clear that one small thing we could do to change these people’s situation was to faithfully capture their plight and bring home the best footage we could to bring it to the attention of people in Britain.

“It is a unique position of providing a window on human suffering, but feeling helpless to intervene personally. The campaign was a great success and indeed the charity did raise a significant sum that went straight back into projects to help the very people that we had been filming.”

Another difficult project to work on was a hard-hitting documentary about knife crime in schools with the help of West Midlands Police. The process involved interviewing three sets of parents whose children had been stabbed to death. “It was really hard, but it had a really big impact,” says Peter.

“The key word is ‘sensitivity’; to deal with the issues with sensitivity and compassion, and just to let people tell their stories. It’s a vehicle for them to tell their stories and I try not to get in the way of that. We obviously have to edit it, but we try to pick the right bits and shape the story with sensitivity.

“I think that in virtually 100% of our work the greater purpose is to create video that makes a difference and that changes lives for the better.”

“THE CAMERA IS A PASSPORT STRAIGHT INTO THE HEART OF ANY SITUATION AND OFTEN INTO THE MIDDLE OF ADVENTURES.”

“At one point we stopped to get a five-minute reprieve from the bone-shaking ride,” he says. “Looking around we spied at least two rusted and burned out Russian tanks up in the snow-clad mountains looking like weird sentinels from a lost civilisation.

“Our guide told us not to stray too far from the vehicle, as it was likely that there could still be landmines lying undiscovered and unexploded. Indeed, one of our party duly spotted a sinister-looking half-moon shape in the dust by the side of the track and we slowly and carefully retraced our steps to the vehicle.

“When we did arrive at the village, the people could not have been more welcoming, although when I say people I really mean the men, because for the two-anda-half hours we filmed there, for cultural reasons, we didn’t catch sight of a single woman.

“YOU ALWAYS SEE THE BEST HOSPITALITY IN THE POOREST OF PEOPLE. PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING UNITE AND SHARE FOOD WITH YOU.” “After tea with the village elders, we filmed a fantastic local hydroelectric project involving the diversion of mountain streams to send water gushing through small, newly built turbine sheds, which generated electricity for the whole village; quite literally transforming their lives.

Something so simple, but to these war-weary people a real symbol of progress and hope for a better future.”

Over the years, Peter and his team have been overwhelmed by the generosity and kindness the people he has filmed have shown. “You always see the best hospitality in the poorest of people,” he says. “People who have nothing unite and share food with you.” f

Filming: the negatives The job is not without its challenges, as the camera can become a beacon for unwanted attention and it can be hard to avoid getting swept up in crowds of noisy children, who make it all but impossible to be an invisible and candid observer of life. And a long day filming interviews for a corporate client or shooting a factory production line at three in the morning isn’t exactly riveting for the camera crew.

But it’s the rare moments of real insight gained on the harder-hitting trips that make the more mundane experiences seem worthwhile. “The camera is a passport straight into the heart of any situation and often into the middle of adventures,” Peter says.

“It has got me into a tribal leader’s hut in the Cambodian jungle, meetings of village elders in rural Afghanistan and, even post 9/11, into the flight deck of a passenger jet landing in the remote and dangerous mountain airport at Paro in Bhutan.”

Another memorable trip involved a short trip to Afghanistan, filming for a charity that worked alongside rural villagers who were returning to rebuild their properties after years of exile in Pakistan. Peter recalls the guide driving the team out of Kabul into remote mountainous areas along extremely treacherous driedup riverbeds.

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GREEN SHED VIDEO

Everything under the sun One of Peter’s most recent overseas trips was to Hyderabad in India, filming among the ‘untouchable’ people who live in the suburbs. “One of the daily joys was getting up early and climbing to the flat roof of the building where we were staying and waiting for the sunrise. Like most of India, the people of Hyderabad are up way before the sun makes its first appearance and they certainly make themselves heard!” recalls Peter.

“One morning I decided just to capture an aural ‘picture’ using the sound kit. From four in the morning a slow hypnotic Hindu chant erupted from loud speakers strung out across the city and went on uninterrupted for the next three hours! As the city woke up, countless new sounds were steadily blended into this aural melange: from the Muslim call to prayer spreading from mosque to mosque to the calls of local vendors and the almost organic background rumble of millions of people finding their voices and thousands of vehicles making their contribution to the morning smog.

“And then there was the sunrise itself. Pointing the camera to where I knew the sun would appear, I’d almost given up, thinking that the ever-present smog had obliterated it and just led to a diffused general glow.

“Then, slowly, a vivid red crescent appeared out of the murk like a piece of glowing coal lifted from a furnace.

Then, surprisingly swiftly, the whole of the huge crimson orb freed itself from the smog and another Indian day had officially started. I never got tired of trying to capture the best sunrise or sunset either in the city or remote rural villages, as the quality of the light in India just seemed so magical and otherworldly.”

Shedding some light Peter set up his own firm, Green Shed Video in 2010. The company not only produced the wonderful video on the Sorted website, it has also created film for businesses and charities across the globe.

“Businesses have only just woken up to the advantages that video on websites gives them, with its potential global reach and advantages for search engine optimisation. Video is a very cost-effective way to promote the key features of any business,” says Peter.

Green Shed is currently putting together a broadcast documentary called Manuel, about a character dubbed ‘the most famous man you’ve never heard of’. Manuel designed and made clothes for many film and music stars including Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Elton John, The Beatles, The White Stripes, Clint Eastwood and Sophia Loren.

“He is an amazing character, and at the end of 2012, we went out to New York and Nashville to start filming Manuel along with English photographer Cambridge Jones,” Peter explains. The final cut will tell the story of the clothing guru and his relationship with Jones, and of the celebrities they have come into contact with over the years.

Other projects the team has worked on recently include filming urban ‘ice free skaters’ in France and barefoot runners in the UK, a project that featured Simon Pegg’s younger brother. His passion is for documentary video, and he is currently involved in the early stages of a project about the regeneration of an original 1930s cinema and another about a compulsive disorder called trichotillomania, which causes women to deliberately pull out their own hair.

The company also has a real interest in new and innovative technologies that make better use of the planet’s resources. “One of our passions is to work with people who have innovative ideas about green energy, conservation and so on,” its founder says. “We’re always looking for people in those fields.”

Rock and roll Peter has been a Christian since 1984. After many years of searching for something ‘bigger’, he came to faith while playing the drums in a rock band. “At the time, I’d say I was actually an atheist. Just about that time, the guitarist in the band said he was a Christian. I asked myself, how can you be a really good rock musician and a Christian? It intrigued me because I had dismissed it as superstition; something old ladies did.

“But when I met people who were quite credible, I started to think about it. I read a lot of books and obviously the Bible and went to Christian meetings. I was trying to disprove it really, but it got under my skin and eventually I had to accept it. I’m a very sceptical person and from time to time I challenge my beliefs, but I always come back to it.”

Not only has his faith impacted his personal life, it also influences the way Peter treats his business. He says: “I try to run it on Christian ethical principles; to treat other people how I would like to be treated and make sure I pay on time. It permeates my whole life.”

He still plays the drums in a semi-professional band and in his church’s music group, proving that it is possible to be a rock musician and a Christian all at once!

Just so long as he doesn’t start singing “eh… sexy lady!” I Follow Green Shed on Twitter (@green_shed) and check out the Facebook page (Green Shed Video).

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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DENZEL WASHINGTON

Top Flight “When you pray for rain, you’ve got to deal with the mud too,” says Denzel Washington. The conversation we’re having in the plush London hotel has turned to celebrity, and America’s favourite actor is philosophical about the notion.

BY KIM FRANCIS

F

ame has brought the 58-year-old movie star worldwide recognition, financial security and general stability, but Denzel Washington admits he has a love-hate relationship with the double-edged sword of celebrity.

“What do celebrities do anyway? What is a celebrity?” he muses. It’s true to say that its definition has been muddied in recent years, largely as a result of the explosion of reality television. These days you can be famous simply for being famous, and it’s clear that Washington is uncomfortable with the concept. But his way of dealing with the label that has been thrust upon him, and everything that comes with it, is to remind himself that it comes with the territory.

“An old West Indian woman told me: ‘When you pray for rain, you’ve got to deal with the mud too’,” Denzel says. And that’s exactly what he does. He wanted this life, so he is prepared to take the rough with the smooth.

Although it’s difficult for one of the most recognisable faces in the world to keep a low profile and live in anonymity, the ability to do regular things like regular people is clearly something he prizes.

He denies his Flight co-star Kelly Reilly’s assertions that it’s perfectly possible to lead a normal life when you’re famous. You just put a hat on, she suggests: it’s what Kate Winslet does when she’s riding the tube. Denzel, who first shot to worldwide prominence in 1987 with his Oscar-nominated portrayal of black activist Steve Biko in Cry Freedom, says you can’t do that for long.

“You know, that can even have an effect on you over time,” he explains, “because it’s not natural to put a hat on; to keep your head down. You’re missing life. You start to miss life.”

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“A PART OF ME STILL SAYS, ‘MAYBE, DENZEL,YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO PREACH. MAYBE YOU’RE STILL COMPROMISING’.”

Washington has never been the type to court the headlines. He’s always let his work do the talking and most respect his right to privacy. Married to the same woman, Paulette, since 1983, his enduring marriage and successful family life (the couple have four children) are testament to his character, and can no doubt be attributed in part to his faith.

A committed Christian from humble New York origins, his father was a Pentecostal minister when Denzel was growing up. And it has been reported that, at times, he has considered following his father into the church.

He’s quoted as saying: “A part of me still says, ‘Maybe, Denzel, you’re supposed to preach.

Maybe you’re still compromising’. I’ve had an opportunity to play great men and, through their words, to preach. I take what talent I’ve been given seriously and I want to use it for good.” f

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DENZEL WASHINGTON Action Press/Rex Features

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DENZEL WASHINGTON

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DENZEL WASHINGTON When I ask Denzel if he’d ever thought about life as a preacher, though, he denies it. “I never considered being a preacher. It was suggested to me to be one. But I didn’t.

That wasn’t a plan of mine,” he says.

In light of the fact that he’s played so many characters with diverse occupations, has he ever stopped to think about what path his career might have taken if he hadn’t become an actor? It seems the role play is all in a day’s work for Denzel.

“I’ve driven trains, I’ve flown planes… not [actually] flown planes but, you know, that’s part of the fun; part of our job.”

If acting is all he’s ever really wanted to do – he studied drama and journalism at college – the recognition he gets for it must be immensely satisfying. Not only does acting give him a platform from which to explore and hold open discussion about issues that are important to him, it also rewards him with personal fulfilment, although he’s typically humble when it comes to awards talk.

Nominated for Best Actor at this year’s Academy Awards for his performance as a troubled pilot in Flight, Washington may have lost out to Daniel Day-Lewis at the glitzy ceremony in February, but it marks his sixth nomination. While it’s something you’d expect him to be proud of, he’s predictably modest, if a little blasé. But maybe he’s just keeping things in perspective.

“It’s nice. It means people appreciate what you do.

[But] I’ve been down this road before. I don’t get too high, don’t get too low.”

I pause. I think it’s a nice thing that Washington isn’t gushing, or being overly humble, or being totally dismissive. Oscars and other awards go hand in hand with the business he’s in and it’s understandable, admirable even, that he takes them in his stride. Besides, paying them too much lip service publicly in the current climate would probably seem vulgar.

I’m reminded of what Billy Crystal said as host of last year’s bash: “So tonight, enjoy yourselves. Because nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.”

Still. Denzel Washington is officially America’s favourite actor. He was recently voted as such in a poll.

With a veritable string of roles that have garnered him endless kudos over the years and the appreciation of not only the American public – as his fourth win in this category demonstrates – but the rest of the world’s movie-going population, the simple matter of nabbing a golden gong is inconsequential.

This dashing, six-foot hunk of talent with a megawatt smile has been in some of Hollywood’s most important and best-loved films. Aside from Richard Attenborough’s Cry Freedom, there’s Glory, Malcolm X, Philadelphia and Training Day (for which he picked up his Best Actor Oscar). And that’s not to mention a hatful of thrilling action flicks: he collaborated with the late Tony Scott five times on blockbusters Crimson Tide, Man on Fire, Déjà Vu, The Taking of Pelham 123 and Unstoppable.

Speaking to the Los Angeles Times in 2010, Scott revealed what it was about his frequent collaborator that made him his go-to lead. “More than any other actor, he always surprises me,” he’s quoted as saying. “He always manages to pull out a different aspect of Denzel.”

The action movie specialist said that, between the two of them, they would always prepare meticulously. “We find people in the real world and make sure we’re on the same page; with each other and with them.”

Scott’s comments conflict somewhat with Washington’s when he talks about his methods of preparation and what it takes to build a character. In typical style, he deflects with dignity any hint that there’s an in-depth process behind getting into character.

For Whip Whitaker, the drunken pilot turned hero Washington portrays in his latest film, I wonder what research he did into addiction.

“I didn’t do anything, because he didn’t think he had a problem,” comes the matter-of-fact reply. “He’s just a guy who has the occasional drink, you know. Every night.”

I keep expecting him to launch into a take-meseriously soliloquy about his process – about the gravity of acting – but it’s just not forthcoming. Instead, he is clipped, curt and no-nonsense. He’ll talk about acting in practical terms, but rarely in the sort of airy-fairy way we might expect from thespians.

I think it’s worth pressing. When he read the script for Flight, bearing in mind that his performance was subsequently Oscar-nominated, was there a particular moment that grabbed him? A moment when he knew who Whip Whitaker was?

“I didn’t necessarily say, ‘I know who he is’ – fortunately,” he responds. “But, yes, it was such a good script, it was such an easy read, a page turner, and there was no question about it. When I finished the last page, I said, ‘I’m doing this.’ I called my agent right away and said, ‘I’m in’.”

And he still doesn’t know who Whip Whitaker is. “I don’t know that you need to know who he is. It’s all on the page in this case. It says who he is and what he does and doesn’t do.”

Practical, see? Straightforward. And secure enough in himself and his ability to say it like it is without feeling the need to talk in vague, fanciful terms about his ‘art’.

It’s no wonder people like him.

He talks about the practical preparation he did for the role enthusiastically. “We were allowed by Delta Airlines to use their flight simulators, which was great,” he says.

“I wish I could take one of those home. We got the same device as the pilots practise on, so that was great. It gave me a sense of knowing what I was doing. Even though I may not have been pushing the right button, I looked like I knew what I was doing!” f

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FAMOUS

DENZEL WASHINGTON

Washington gets excited remembering a contraption that turned the actors upside down during filming.

Comparing it to a rotisserie, he says: “I remember the first time they started turning it over and I started leaning up against the window, and I was, like, ’Wait, wait, wait, wait, woah, woah, woah! Turn it back!’

Because you had to figure [it] out… You had to brace yourself, because I started sliding and I thought I was going to fall out. I was like, ‘No, wait, stop, stop!’”

“WHEN I STARTED DIRECTING, I KNEW I HAD TO BE IN THE PICTURE. I JUST HAD TO WATCH MYSELF SO I COULD GET USED TO IT.” He’ll talk at length about the hands-on side of acting, but press him on the more arty-farty aspects and he’s more reticent. That’s unfair, maybe he’s just less able, because it doesn’t seem to be something that’s as important to him as the other stuff, or something he’s conscious of.

Nevertheless, I want to talk more about this character.

Something clearly drew Washington to this dysfunctional anti-hero. Surely there was something in the character beyond a great script that spoke to him, particularly considering what he’s said in the past about preaching through the words of the character he plays. Is there something that speaks to him here about redemption, second chances, forgiveness and humanity?

Did he consider the moral ambiguity of the characters, and did he think about how to pitch it to maintain the audience’s sympathy?

“I don’t worry about that. I just play the part,” he says.

“I’m not thinking, ‘I’ve got to make sure they love me,

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Denzel Washington as Bobby and Mark Wahlberg as Stig in 2 Guns

you know, or not’. You just interpret the role. Because ultimately, you don’t know what the director’s going to use anyway.”

What about sympathy for his character’s addictive personality?

“It’s sad. But I can’t worry about that. I’ve got to go for it. I’m a fall-down drunk, that’s what I am. But for anyone that has those kinds of issues, it’s a sad thing and you hope that person gets help.”

So is there ever a time when he feels he’s completely ’got’ a character? When I pose this question it seems to confuse him a little.

“You never get it,” he says. “If you think you have it…

First of all, I’m not watching myself while I’m working, I’m just doing the work. I don’t know what ‘getting it’ is, actually. You trust the pilot, you trust the director and you do the work. It’s a process. It’s not like, ‘Oh, yeah – I nailed that’. If you feel too good about a scene, then you haven’t done anything because you’re too busy watching yourself.”

For Denzel, then, acting is a collaborative process. And it’s almost a selfless view; that as an actor, you’re a tool and you’re serving the story, the script and the director.

Which is something he has a better understanding of than many, having stepped behind the camera to take charge on two occasions: with Antwone Fisher in 2002 and The Great Debaters in 2007.

Having also starred in both, he’s had to get used to watching himself objectively. “When I started directing, I knew I had to be in the picture,” he recalls. “I just had to watch myself so I could get used to it.”

So does directing figure in the actor’s future? Maybe, but first up is a starring role in crime drama 2 Guns with Mark Wahlberg. And, as America’s favourite actor, it’s hard to believe he is ready to relinquish the acting roles just yet. He’s still got those matinee idol looks, for a start, and that glint in his eye and mischievous smile tells me he quite likes being adored, despite what he might try to convey. I

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MEN’S RITES OF PASSAGE

INITIATION,THAT’S WHAT YOU NEED…

© Reino Jonsson | Dreamstime.com

There are times in your life when you find yourself in unfamiliar situations. Times when you feel uneasy but it’s not necessarily a bad thing; just something outside your comfort zone.

Like buying tampons for your sister…

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BY TONY VINO

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had a weekend like this in July when I went on the Men’s Rights of Passage (MROP) at The Bield of Blackruthven in Perthshire. The MROP is a four-day residential at which men of all ages are taken through certain initiation rites. It was developed by Franciscan friar and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation, Richard Rohr.

The idea is that modern Western culture is missing something essential that every primal culture has at its core: a ritual to mark the transition from boyhood to manhood. That’s not to say our modern Western culture doesn’t offer elements that could be of value to primal cultures, such as microwaves, Jedward and the hokey cokey.

I was strong-armed into going by my friend Caleb.

He’s a big guy with an even bigger ginger beard, who has reached such a point of personal liberation that he has no qualms about public nudity, hugging or farting.

We once booked a spa day together in a posh hotel. It was a gift from our wives after we had treated them to a pamper day (this involved eight hours in a nappy; took years off them).

Caleb was adamant he wanted to talk to me about something, so we went to the steam room, where he disrobed and let off a monster trump. Suddenly we were alone. I felt nauseous, due to the view rather than the smell. It was there that he began trying to convince me of my need for male initiation.

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For a moment, I was nervous about what he was suggesting. He was sweaty and naked, and I know he likes to hug. He told me about the Men’s Rites of Passage event coming up in July and swore it would be somewhere I would ‘find myself’.

I was not aware I was lost in the first place, and even if I was, if I wanted to be found I would have left a forwarding address. But after much cajoling I agreed to go, and in return he promised to put his towel back on and not eat any more beans.

Previous to this, the only male initiation rites I knew of were the Jewish Bar Mitzvah, during which 14-year-old Jewish boys read a bit of the Old Testament and then have a massive party. That sounds like a good idea to me, as the general perception is that teenage boys who read the Bible don’t get invited to parties.

I also vaguely knew that the Masai did a similar thing, where they go and hunt a lion. That makes sense: there’s nothing like hunting a lion to make you feel like a real man. I had a similar sensation when I chased a cat out of my garden using a super soaker. I must point out I’m not some kind of species racist. Any animal or human who tries to poo on my lawn will get the same treatment.

It turns out there are thousands of rites of passage across the globe. For instance, the boys of Australia’s Mardudjara Aborigines will have a front tooth knocked out at 12 years of age and the septum pierced to symbolise death. They are then taken into the wilderness, circumcised and expected to ingest the foreskin without chewing. Covered in blood, they then go hunting and return to the camp with food as reborn adult males.

When I was 12, I was given a brand new Sega Megadrive complete with Sonic the Hedgehog. It kind of makes you glad to be British.

THE COURSE LEADERS HAD A SERIOUS MILITARISTIC HUE ABOUT THEM; THE UNIFORM BEING A BUSHY BEARD, A LARGE STICK AND LEATHER SANDALS. So I travelled up to Perthshire for the event with my buddy Daniel Ingram Brown, an author and theatre director who likes to wear black polar necks and an aura of mystery.

My car broke down on the M6 north of Lancaster. I almost rang my dad to come rescue us, but it somehow didn’t seem appropriate. So we got the car towed to a garage and were given a courtesy car through my RAC

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MEN’S RITES OF PASSAGE policy. Daniel is a member of the AA, but I wasn’t sure Alcoholics Anonymous could help in this situation.

The only courtesy car available to us was a Peugeot 106, which looks like the type of car a female hairdresser would use, so upon arrival we were feeling quite the opposite of manly. I worked out that the breakdown of my car saved us money on the trip, because the Peugeot 106’s fuel consumption rate is the same as a two-stroke lawnmower.

The course leaders had a serious militaristic hue about them; the uniform being a bushy beard, a large stick and leather sandals. I have a natural aversion towards all forms of authority and biblical footwear. I was thus quite wary, as it looked like some sort of boot camp run by lapsed hippies.

As an anarchist, I had to make a conscious decision not to undermine the structures in place, and as a comedian I had to discipline myself to not mock everything I saw.

This was a hard call, as one of the leaders decided it was perfectly reasonable to wear fluorescent green towelling socks with his sandals. I thought they had become extinct in the ’80s along with Wham Bars, MacGyver and white dog poo.

Sixty blokes were assembled from across the UK, all different ages and backgrounds. A fraternal atmosphere ensued as the first two days passed by in a blur of ritualistic activity. I remember doing lots of drumming.

The start of every meeting had us all using a mixture of percussion instruments from proper Djembe drums to cooking utensils. I arrived late to one meeting and spent the whole drumming session banging a spoon against a bowl; something I was chastised for doing at the dinner table when I was four.

We spent a lot of time in small discussion groups. It was here I shared my innermost secrets, hopes and desires; the things I’m proud of as well as the shameful thoughts and actions I’ve never even told my wife. One guy was a wise old Catholic Priest, one a high-ranking civil servant, one a wandering hippy type, one a business owner and one a retired weird bloke (as in, he was weird and retired, not retired from being weird – he was still full time with that).

The rule was that we were not allowed to try and answer or even respond to each other’s pains, secrets or problems lest we fall foul of the male trap of trying to fix things. The answer was invariably right there in the person, powerfully drawn out by the shared silence and the collective mantra of “I hear you brother”.

At night we danced around a campfire attempting a kind of mock Native American rain dance with sheer enthusiasm making up for lack of any discernible skill.

Imagine, if you would, Gangnam Style meets The Last of the Mohicans. Yet we didn’t care. We were brothers caught up in the moment. Men who, for a precious few days, had left the trappings of modern sensibility and cynicism behind.

MINE IS NOT THE KIND OF MANHOOD EXPRESSED THROUGH PUBLIC FLATULENCE OR GETTING NAKED IN SAUNAS. The climax was the day of silence and fasting. At the end we were sent into the wilderness, where each of us had to find a remote spot, whether that be on a rock, a patch of grass or by a stream. There we would sit alone for eight hours and simply listen: no phones, no food, no water, no Wi-Fi, no wifey.

It was here in the solitude that we imbibed the truths that transformed us into initiated men. We came face to face with the reality that we are not the centre of the universe, not that important, not in control and that we are going to die. Through this, we were humbled through the death of our egos, yet somehow reborn into a sense of being part of something bigger than ourselves.

Then we simply returned back to camp, the same but different. There were tears and some hugs, yet no words were exchanged on the bus back from the glen. Everyone had passed, no one had failed. That’s part of the secret, no one ever fails. The ability is in every man to face these eternal truths and reconcile themselves with their own shadow.

It definitely changed me. Mine is not the kind of manhood expressed through public flatulence or getting naked in saunas. Yet I am somehow more able now to be real with my emotions. Somehow I am less in competition with all other men. Somehow I am more present with my friends and family. Somehow I’m a little less frenetic, a little more centred.

Dan and I drove back in our little Peugeot 106. We picked up my car, which had by then been repaired. I was trying to think how this could be some kind of metaphor for my healed masculine identity. Then Dan got confused and filled the car with diesel instead of petrol, which knackered the engine, so I decided to abandon the metaphoric imagery. I bought a Yorkie bar and rang my dad, who came to pick us up.

The whole experience was a bit weird, a bit extreme, very un-British and possibly even a little corny. But isn’t there a place for this, isn’t there a need to at least once go out into the margins to enter back into the mainstream?

I now understand a little more why, before healing people and doing battle with the structures, Jesus first went out into the desert to do battle with the devil and the demons of loneliness, emptiness and isolation.

I’m a comedian by trade, and most of what I do is looking at the funny side of life and society; to bring low that which is puffed up and to mock that which is proud.

Very little is considered sacred or outside the scope of mockery in our very public society, but this is one thing I would never wish to undermine through humour.

It may sound clichéd, but it was a genuine moment in which I ‘found myself’. We sat together in silence for a while, exchanged numbers and promised to do it again sometime. I would recommend every man, without reserve, go on the Men’s Rites of Passage and be transformed.

Just once in your life, go through a process of humbling and letting go. Then, if you so wish, you can get back to all the nonsense of ego building, success and financial accumulation. But for one precious moment, put on some towelling socks with leather sandals, dance around a fire like your embarrassing uncle, hire a Peugeot 106 and hug every man in sight. Even the ones with prickly beards.

The 2013 Men’s Rights of Passage runs July 24-28 at The Bield. Visit www.mrop.org.uk/rites for more information. I Sorted. May/Jun 2013

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EDEN NETWORK

Under the Influence

BY MATT WILSON, DIRECTOR OF THE EDEN NETWORK

“T

o become a good man, you have to know good men,” says Australian psychologist Steve Biddulph, author of bestselling book Raising Boys. As well as being a strong campaigner for the role of fathers, Steve suggests that there comes a time, during adolescence, that role models from outside the family unit also become extremely important. A great example is Mo Farah, who would have never worn a gold medal round his neck had it not been for the influence of his PE teacher, Alan Watkinson.

And yet these years of growth and independenceseeking are fraught with danger, because not every adult out there is going to be made in the mould of Mr Watkinson. And when a family does not act as the primary support system, the poorest tend to be hardest hit. Our world is full of powerful circles of influence, whether constructive or destructive, and there are just as many rogues as there are heroes.

I can testify to both extremes. My formative years were spent in the north of England, back in the ’80s. With the exception of some bleak times during the miners’ strike, I look back through rose-tinted lenses. But when I left school at 18, the world around me was changing.

Suddenly Monday morning arrived and I had nothing to do anymore.

I THOUGHT I WAS LEAVING MY PROBLEMS BEHIND, BUT IT DIDN’T TAKE ME LONG TO REALISE THAT MY ISSUES HAD TRAVELLED WITH ME. Living in a small town, it didn’t take long to work out the drill. You sleep in as late as you like, then you mooch down the high street and see who’s hanging around outside the amusement arcade. Some losers would be in there, banging their dole money into the slot machines, but the savvier of them would be conniving and conspiring. This group of older lads, well into their twenties, had a real aura around them. They were well known for their ducking and diving, and they were always ready to take naïve upstarts under their wing to do their dirty work.

I was green as the Wembley turf, and in no time was being used for all sorts. At first it was a real buzz, but the fun was short-lived and it soon got nasty. Within a year, several of the ‘gang’ were in prison and one was dead. My life had become a total mess, so I decided to leave town and move to Manchester. I thought I was leaving my problems behind, but it didn’t take me long to realise that my issues had travelled with me.

A critical turning point came one Christmas Eve in the ’90s. I was in the cells for doing something really daft f

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EDEN NETWORK the day before. I’d spent nights in the cells before, but I’d always got out the following day. Because there was only a skeleton staff over Christmas, they were planning to send me off to the local remand wing and I wasn’t up for that. Needless to say, I prayed like a dying man!

Astonishingly, they let me go a few hours later, but I knew that a line had been crossed and things needed to change. I felt I owed it to God to look into what it might mean to start doing life on his terms. I wasn’t in a big rush, but I did start going to church from time to time and, whenever I did, the pull got stronger and stronger.

Eventually, the sense that my life was leading to a point of decision reached a tipping point and I jumped in with both feet. I was starting over, everything I had been was dead and buried, and I was a new man.

One of the things about being a young Christian in Manchester in the early nineties was that you couldn’t go far without hearing people talk about a bunch of pretty leftfield Jesus followers who were travelling around the city hosting events for teenagers. They wore outrageous shell suits and played rave music, which they combined with singing and rapping. They called themselves The World Wide Message Tribe.

I got invited to help at one of their events in a local high school. The night was completely bonkers, but absolutely brilliant! All of a sudden I found myself in a very different sphere of influence.

From that point on, my Friday nights changed as I sought to make myself indispensable to the team that held these events. But seeing the lostness of hundreds of kids week in week out wasn’t actually doing me a lot of good. I found myself wondering what sort of future was in store for them.

On the night, many were getting excited about the ‘Jesus loves you enough to die for you’ message. But the chances of those kids finding a consistent influence for good to invest in them after the event was practically zero. I could predict what their story would be: it would be a repeat of mine, but probably without the narrow escape.

As a team, we started to pray about this because we realised we were all beginning to feel the same way about it; something had to change. Our prayers of “You need to do something about this” seemed to be boomerangshaped, they came right back to us. God was asking us to be his answer.

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IN ONE FELL SWOOP WE BASICALLY INTERRUPTED THE WHOLE PECKING ORDER OF THAT ESTATE. We decided to step out and take a risk. We would all pack our bags and move into the worst of all these neighbourhoods. If these kids were facing struggles, we would make them our struggles too. If these kids had bad influences in their lives, then we would step in as good influences. And if these kids were interested in following Jesus, we didn’t want anyone to get in the way of them doing that.

It seemed important at the time to give our mad team of urban pioneers a name. Someone came up with the name ‘Eden’ and it stuck.

None of us really understood the significance of what we were doing by setting up home in a place that everyone was trying to get out of given half a chance. In one fell swoop we basically interrupted the whole pecking order of that estate. We just started sharing our lives with teenage lads and girls who were basically being ‘groomed’ for gangs and a whole bunch of other stuff besides; stuff that would make your eyes water and your blood boil all at the same time. But what we were actually doing was messing with the whole generational cycle of poverty, angst and abuse.

God really smiled on our efforts, and we not only saw lives changed on our local patch, but we also seemed to accidentally kick-start a movement of other people like us. All around Manchester, Eden teams began to form in other disadvantaged and dysfunctional communities.

There are now more than 20 teams across the country sharing that original concern: that today’s teenagers have plenty of bad influences around them, but not a lot of good. Being part of Eden is a commitment to becoming a significant influencer for good; perhaps the only significant influencer of that nature in a young person’s life.

I imagine that Mo Farah drove Alan Watkinson nuts at times. But I bet Alan wasn’t thinking of those times when Mo crossed the finish line in first place at the London Olympics. What a privilege to be an influence for the good in the life of another.

To support Eden’s work or for more information, email hello@eden-network.org or visit eden-network.org. I

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EDEN NETWORK

The Eden Effect

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JAHAZIEL (LONDON) Signed to US-based hip hop label Xist Music, Christian artist Jahaziel has won a string of awards including a Best Gospel Artist MOBO in 2008. Yet in 2011, prompted by the work of Eden, he left the music scene to do youth work, moving to the underprivileged Andover estate in Islington, North London.

“I wanted to get involved with youth work as part of a church in the heart of a community like Tollington and they asked me to lead a team here,” explains Jahaziel. “We live on the estate, so we get to be alongside the young people we want to work with.

“You don’t need much – a pool table and table tennis – but it’s what you do with the hours when you are together that makes the difference. Some need a bit of one-to-one mentoring and we get some great opportunities to do this.

“One required me to dust off my clippers and work on my rusty hairdressing skills from my school days. I had noticed that a few of the boys had – dare I say it – ‘unkempt’ hair! I discovered that while the boys usually paid £10 for a haircut, some didn’t have the money to do so and two brothers mentioned that their grandmother cut their hair! If their mums have to decide between feeding the electricity meter or sending them for a haircut, it’s obvious which would win. I instantly had flashbacks to the time I allowed my mum to butcher my hair, oh the shame!

I suggested the guys came to church on Saturday morning, where I would cut their hair for the bargain price of £2, and three of them came along. While I worked considerably slower than their regular barbers, the waiting time was fantastic as we chatted and hung out. We talked about bullying, parents and the Christian rap music I was playing. It’s great to see them leave encouraged and well-groomed!”

LEWIS (BRADFORD) “My first encounter with Lewis,” remembers Gav Humphries, leader of Eden Buttershaw, “was when I spotted him doing flips and jumps off the church wall. We asked him if he’d do it on a bigger scale and teach others at the same time. He was surprised we weren’t kicking him off our property and keen to help out. Before long we had set up a free running club for the local kids, which I still run now.

“Lewis’ inspirational teaching attracted up to 50 kids to each session. He would encourage others to come, giving people hints and tips and doing spot work; giving them the confidence to keep trying. The approach and attitude to nurturing other young men on the Buttershaw estate that Lewis took provided a stable father figure for many. He’s a typical case of somebody living here on Buttershaw all their life: his father’s absent and he takes a lot of responsibility at home. But when he can spend time with the kids, I don’t hear him speaking a bad word about them.”

“It’s a really good sport with a mix of

gymnastics, martial arts and dance,” says Lewis as he looks back on his time in leadership at Eden Buttershaw. “It gets your blood pumping through your body, you feel good about yourself and you get to meet people.

“You do feel like you are a role model. It feels good to help the kids when they want to know how to do tricks. They are good kids; all they need is somebody to get them out of trouble. Free running is just to get them out of trouble.”

SID (MANCHESTER) Mark’s a lad I’ve known for nearly five years. I didn’t meet him through a youth club, I bumped into him because he lived just across the road from the house I’d moved into with my friend Keith. After a while, we discovered that behind the broken windows of that small house, Mark slept every night on the cold wooden floor. He shared the house with his six brothers and sisters and their exhausted single mum. They didn’t have a bed between them.

After three months of building trust, Keith and I were finally given the opportunity to enter their home. Once the reality of the situation hit us, we knew we couldn’t waste any time. We bought them beds to sleep in, helped them work through difficult meetings with their school and got on the case with their ever-changing social workers. Every time we returned, his mum saw that we were serious about being there for her. No parent or partner or authority figure had shown that before. Love was a weird concept to her.

We had to learn to journey with this family.

Meeting them wasn’t in our ten-point plan of how to transform the neighbourhood. When we started to get involved, we had no idea of the demands that would be placed on us. We were simply seeking to treat this family as we felt Jesus would. God had to work in the hearts of two single young guys to grow in us a longterm commitment that we didn’t possess in a natural capacity.

Mark is now 18 and looking for work. His mum believes in God’s great love for her because she’s surrounded by the evidence of it.

We stay involved with the family, not because we’re service providers – they have never trusted service providers – but because they’ve become our family now.

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BUSINESS

CHARLES HUMPHREYS

We’re in Business

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ONE WAY TO REGARD OUR INNATE SKILLS IS TO VIEW THEM AS A COMPASS: THEY POINT IN THE DIRECTION THAT WE’RE CALLED TO LABOUR. The good news is that, despite all evidence to the contrary, God has a plan and a purpose for your life that involves you using the skills and abilities He has placed in you. One way to regard our innate skills is to view them as a compass: they point in the direction that we’re called to labour.

Management consultant and author Peter Drucker said: “You see, I don’t believe that God creates us with specialised abilities and personality types, then asks us to do things for Him that require completely different abilities and personalities. Why would a Creator who put together such an efficient and sensible natural world violate His design template when it came to man?”

It sort of makes sense when you see things from that perspective, doesn’t it?

The fact is, we are all made by God as unique individuals, designed to do different things.

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Some are born with a natural ability to create things with their hands, such as artists or chefs, while others are more suited to academia or the pursuit of scientific knowledge.

For the construction of the tabernacle, God told Moses He had raised up Bezalel with the necessary skills to make magnificent temple ornaments.

Exodus 31:3 says: “…I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts.”

Hebrews 13:21 makes it clear that God has given us everything we need to perform His will. If we’re able to discover where our abilities lie, then this will give us some idea about what God wants us to do for a living.

An assessment of your skills will not only benefit those seeking life direction but also those who need confirmation that a desire to do something is actually fixed in reality; ie, will you be able to do the job?

We all need to be realistic about what we’re really able to do. An assessment of our skills may point to a gap, which may suggest that we need to return to some form of education to gain new skills. On the other hand, it may suggest that we are barking up the wrong tree and that perhaps we are not called to this particular vocation or

profession. In this process, it’s important that we apply discernment and seek advice from people we trust.

Here are some excellent resources that will give you a skills compass in your pursuit of your life calling or career direction: I

www.windmillsonline.co.uk/interactive/ main_sections.html

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www.prospects.ac.uk (register and start the assessment)

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Google “National Careers Service skills health check”

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www.want2geton.co.uk (visit the Focus Zone)

And don’t forget to invite Jesus along with you on your journey! I Charles is an experienced careers coach and founder of Christian-based careers coaching service Want2 get on? (www.want2geton.co.uk), which offers 1:1 careers counselling, workshops and seminars. He wrote The Christian Guide to Jobs and Careers (www.hope4acareer.com), is a busy dad of three young boys and husband to an overworked doctor.

He also leads the men’s ministry at Oasis Church in Colliers Wood.

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ou might recognise this scenario: the rejection email has just landed in your inbox and you decide to bite the bullet and seek feedback to discover why you weren’t selected for the job. After putting down the phone you declare, “Well, it appears that I didn’t include listening as one of my skills, probably because I didn’t hear what the interviewer asked.”

When I lost my job, I was initially full of confidence in my ability to find work. But, after the weeks turned to months of signing on at the Job Centre (where I had previously worked as a careers adviser!), I began to believe that I had nothing of any value to offer my next employer, and this was the reason why I was still out of work.

I want to encourage those of you who have reached the end of your tether and have started to believe the lie that you have become unemployable. It’s not true, but it can sure feel like it.

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Your GodGiven Skills

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BUSINESS

STUART RIVERS

Making Your Mark

red oceans, industry boundaries are defined and accepted, and the competitive rules of the game are known. Here, companies try to outperform their rivals to grab a greater share of product or service demand. As the market space gets crowded, prospects for profits and growth are reduced. Products become commodities or niche, and cutthroat competition turns the ocean bloody; hence the term red oceans.

Blue oceans, in contrast, denote all the industries that do not currently exist: the unknown market space, untainted by competition. In blue oceans, demand is created rather than fought over. There is ample opportunity for profitable and rapid growth. In blue oceans, competition is irrelevant because the rules of the game are waiting to be set.

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Defining Value

Blue Ocean or Red Ocean?

AS THE MARKET SPACE GETS CROWDED, PROSPECTS FOR PROFITS AND GROWTH ARE REDUCED. In my experience – both in the corporate and charity worlds – value is created when we ‘scratch the itch’ that is causing someone discomfort, or when we offer an experience that gives pleasure. Whether someone has a problem they want solved or they simply want the latest fashion, model or gadget, they are

really looking to fill a gap. Businesses exist to scratch those itches and to fill the gaps. And this is where real value is perceived.

This is value innovation: an approach to business modelling that overlays buyer value with business value. The point of overlap is where value innovation emerges. Identify these two domains, fuse them together in the creation of your business model, and you start to create real value. It sounds simple, but value innovation can only be built on strong customer relationships, high perception of customer needs, and an agile organisation that is able to adapt quickly to new opportunities.

W Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne of The Blue Ocean Strategy Institute at the INSEAD business school, suggest that an organisation should create new demand in an uncontested market space, or a ‘blue ocean’, rather than competing head-to-head with other suppliers in an existing industry. This doesn’t mean that you have to stop what you currently do and create a new business, but it does suggest applying what you do in a different way, and towards a different market that is largely unknown today. This is where real value innovation can be created.

‘Red oceans’ represent all the industries in existence today: the known market space. In

An entrepreneur with a background in marketing and business development, Stuart was recently appointed chief executive of Sailors’ Society, a Christian charity serving the needs of merchant seafarers. He previously spent 15 years at Ericsson, progressing to the role of commercial director in Sweden, before being appointed executive director of Bible Society in 2009. Stuart is a former Salvation Army officer whose parents are commissioners; his great uncle was private secretary to General William Booth. He is married to Carey and has six children and two grandchildren.

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s value based on the importance or usefulness of something, compared to the price you pay? Is it defined by the benefit it adds to a person or business? Or is it something far more intangible, perhaps based on the relationship with a person, product or brand?

The reality is that value tends to be determined by an individual; usually based on their individual circumstances. In other words, the value I place on something may be vastly different from the value you place on it because our circumstances and needs are different.

In defining business value, ask yourself, ‘What does the business need in order to thrive?’

This will lead to a critical assessment of the cultural, relational, intellectual, spiritual and physical capital of the organisation. This investment is known as CRISP (a growth concept for a future Sorted article). Through this approach, value can be created for the business, setting it apart from its competitors.

Defining customer value is much more difficult, because you can’t be all things to all people.

However, if you focus on the 20% of customers that drive the income for your business, you will start to understand the value they perceive in your brand, products and services.

Just as important are the relationships you have with these customers. It is important to constantly ask questions such as, ‘What value do they really get from us?’, ‘What would make them buy from one of our competitors?’ and ‘Is there an uncontested market for our value?’

These are useful questions, but they are difficult to answer unless you have the kind of relationships that allow you to ask your customers directly.

So get close, and then get closer still. If you can help people scratch their itch in the most effective way, they will keep coming back to you for more ointment! I

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BUSINESS

MATT BIRD

Relationology

Five Powerful Principles to Make Your Relationships Last

Principle one: longevity Someone once told me about a relationship mantra they had heard called ‘give to get’. As you can imagine, the very thought of this jarred with everything I believe in. It smacks of a utilitarian approach where the only value is in how we benefit. It is shallow, short term and selfish: networking at its worst.

Authentic relationships are founded on the principle of ‘give to grow’. It’s not about what we get in a relationship, it’s about what we are able to give. It’s not what we take, but how we are transformed by the relationship. There will undoubtedly be benefits in every relationship, but a genuine one is not founded on these things. There will be times when we will give to a relationship and times when we will receive from it. The critical point is that we are in the relationship for the long game.

When we give to grow the long-term value of relationships, we do not give to get short-term gain. When a relationship has longevity, it changes and transforms both parties for the better. So play the long game.

Principle two: consistency The world is populated by two sorts of people: those who speak a good speak and those who do a good do. Those who speak a good speak can promise the earth but deliver next to nothing. For those who do a good do, it hardly matters what they say.

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Principle four: the small things

championing is that we don’t just say what we do, but we do what we say. We should make our word our bond. If people know we are 100% consistent, they will trust us. If we make excuses for not getting things done – no matter how legitimate – we will be known as unreliable. Consistency is everything when it comes to growing relationships that last.

Principle three: added value We grow relationships by not only being consistent and doing what is expected, but also by doing what is unexpected. Added value is the benefit provided over and above the expected or contractually agreed. My motto is ‘under-promise and over-deliver’: say what you are going to do, do it and then do some more.

AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE FOUNDED ON THE PRINCIPLE OF ‘GIVE TO GROW’.

One of my favourite restaurants, the Cinnamon Club, epitomises the added value experience. When I go to a top London restaurant, I expect great food, great wine and great service; but at the Cinnamon Club, I receive so much more. Recently, I dropped them a note to say thank you for the smiles, the complimentary amuse-bouche, giving me my favourite table, addressing me by name, and for the petit fours. There is a lot that we can learn from top restaurants like the Cinnamon Club about growing customer relationships that last by adding value.

When we are doing big business deals, we may begin to think that the small things are not as important. However, the people who build lasting relationships recognise that the small things are the big things. Do you remember a client’s birthday or holiday, or that they have a sick family member? Do you know their taste for a certain wine or particular cuisine; or where they like to sit at the table? How about their communication preference, personality style or way of working?

The small things actually matter more than we can begin to imagine. Earlier I talked about using a person’s name and how doing this makes an impression. Similarly, remembering someone’s name and other personal details has a big impact. Quite often it’s not the detail in itself that makes the difference; remembering something shows that we care and that we’re giving our full attention to getting to know the person better. Consider for a moment some of your exceptional experiences. Many of them are made exceptional because of the small, subtle and unexpected things.

Principle five: integrity Integrity is what we do when no one is looking.

Integrity is also what we say about a person when they are not in the room. Relational integrity means seeing the best in people, always saying the best about people and always doing the best for people. It means being transparent and honest.

I remember a prospective client attending an event I was hosting and leaving their daybook behind. I carried it for several days and began wondering why people use the cumbersome things. Then I took the decision to let the daybook RIP in the next bin I passed. Soon after this, I had a call from the prospective client’s PA asking if she could send a courier to pick up the daybook. I hesitated for a moment, then told her what had happened. She laughed, and explained how he loved his daybooks. I then had to phone him and tell him what I’d done.

Thankfully, he appreciated my honesty and became my client. What does integrity look like in your workplace? I Matt Bird, the creator of Relationology, is an international speaker, trainer and facilitator. You can receive free weekly inspiration and practical relationship advice from Matt at www.relationology.co.uk.

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elationships that last are extremely powerful. They say something profound about our commitment to other people and our ability to work through the inevitable hard stuff. Lasting relationships tell a story and reveal character.

A friend of mine has just retired after working at the same firm for 30 years; a couple I met at Lambeth Palace once were about to celebrate 50 years of marriage (at 11 years, my wife and I are such novices!); and a friend from the US introduced me to two of his schoolmates, who he had been best friends with for more than 25 years.

What is your approach to growing relationships that last a lifetime? The principles that have guided me in strengthening and enriching my personal and professional relationships are as follows.

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ADVICE

SMART TALK

With Ben Sinclair, Jojo Meadows and James Galloway

Sponsored by Christian Single Mix © Dmitry Ersler | Dreamstime.com

OUR EXPERTS

Ben recently became a father and works as a GP with an interest in men’s health, and as an emergency doctor. He also raises awareness through the Optimise Clinic, providing a bespoke mobile medical service for busy working people (www.optimiseclinic.co.uk; Twitter: @Menshealthtips)

Pastor James Galloway and wife Becky have been lead pastors at Breathe City Church (BCC) in Stoke on Trent since September 2007. Born and bred in Stoke and a season ticket holder at Stoke City, Pastor James loves his city with an unquenchable passion and believes that the Church should be at the very centre of the community and city.

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The Dating Game feel are deal breakers in a long-term relationship. Try to really make an effort to form deeper relationships.

Commitment at this age will take a massive change in your life and you should be prepared to accommodate someone into your bachelor lifestyle.

The reality of it is there will always be someone better looking, prettier or slimmer. That’s not the issue. The issue is finding the right person for you. And then it’s having the commitment to love the person you marry. It’s a process of maturity and building a life together; not looking for another person or a better person to come along.

I’m not sure if I’m a doubting Thomas. I feel like I’m not trusting God if I go on Christian dating sites. Should I sit and

wait, trusting He will bring the right lady? Or am I trusting and being proactive by using Christian websites to find my wife?

PJ

I’m a man in my thirties who loves the ladies. I have been on so many dates in the past year, but just can’t choose which one to settle down with. I’m scared if I do settle down with one, that something better might be out there for me. Is this normal?

I think finding your soulmate in your thirties can be hard as you have your habitual routines and ways, so introducing a woman into that lifestyle can seem difficult. As for something better out there, my personal opinion is you’ve not dated the right girl yet! Because when you find the right lady, you’ll be content and focused on developing your relationship and being with her. Embrace a lady as your best friend and be excited about spending your life with her.

JJ

BS In your thirties you can feel

pressure to ‘settle down’, but it’s important to really know your chosen partner well before deciding to do so. Perhaps you could pray for guidance with a trusted friend and write a list of characteristics you

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Jojo is a director of The Light Radio, works alongside youth with Urban Creation – her own project – and is involved with the skateboarding/inlining community. Having been through many life-changing experiences, including anorexia, teenage pregnancy, violent relationships and cancer cell changes, she now wants to help others who find themselves struggling in difficult circumstances.

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ADVICE embarrassing than the actual third nipple. Choose to love yourself and your uniqueness.

This is a common occurrence and I know a number of mates with the same thing. Believe it or not, humans can have up to six nipples each side from the chest to the groin, although the most common is an extra one. My advice is to make a joke of it if you feel self-conscious and get it out of the way. You could claim, like Chandler, that your ‘nubbin’ is the source of your superpowers... It really doesn’t need to be removed and would only leave an unsightly scar. It’s best to embrace your body and make the most of what you have been given.

BS

Yes, it can be removed through laser surgery. If you want it removed then seek medical advice, but in reality you are who you are whether you have a third nipple or not, so be secure in who you are. The lads might laugh initially, but why not have some fun and laugh with them?

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PJ

I’m 18 and am going on my first summer holiday with the lads, but there’s one problem… I’m really embarrassed about my body! I want to take my top off and relax, but I’ve got a third nipple underneath my other two. Is there anything I can do to hide it? Or can it be removed?

JJ I know at 18 there’s a lot of pressure and fashionistas stipulate that a six-pack and guns the size of Manhattan are the “in”, but I say embrace your body! My best friend has a third nipple and we all think its fab. He always takes his shirt off on holiday and in the sun, as he works outdoors. He investigated having it removed, but the advice was that the scar would be more

There are so many beautiful love stories and happily-everafters that have come from Christian dating sites, and many have written to me telling me how their story was “totally God”. So I don’t think you’re a doubting Thomas at all! I think recognised and verified sites are sometimes more amenable than finding a women in a pub or just out and about. Trust God that He has the right lady for you, whether that‘s meeting the lady at church, on the high street or through a dating agency. He is the author of your happily ever after!

JJ

BS Faith is an active way of life,

not a passive expression of belief. You may need to change your normal life patterns, get out of your comfort zone and try new things as

CONTACT US: Got a problem and need an answer?

Email: jo@sorted-magazine.com Or write to us at: Smart Talk, Sorted Magazine, PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex BN17 6WX

well as using the mind God gave you to actively seek out His will for your life. If this encompasses using dating sites then go for it! You have nothing to lose as long as you approach it wisely, asking for guidance and having accountability with close friends. These days it’s hard to meet new people and dating sites are one way to do this, but remember that nothing can replace face-to-face interaction, and sooner or later the relationship has to get off the computer screen and into reality.

PJ It’s totally your call. But if

you’re deciding to trust in God, then trust Him; whether it’s on a dating website or not. His ways are higher than our ways and remember that the person He’s lined up for you doesn’t necessarily use dating sites.

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ADVICE

JONATHAN SHERWIN

Big Questions

It’s in the Detail historical fiction didn’t bother with such niceties. It just wasn’t the way it was done. The story was much more important than the finer points. However, historical account was very much concerned with the facts.

Of course, showing that the style was a historical account in no way shows that we have a faithful account. What it does show, however, is that the authors presented their accounts to their readers as history. In that age, historians believed history should be written during the time when eyewitnesses of the historical events were still available to be cross-examined.

Polybius – a second-century BC Greek historian – said that the role of the historian was “to believe those worthy of belief and to be a good critic of the reports that reach him”.

The obvious benefit of this is that names, dates, people involved and so on could all be corroborated or disputed by the eyewitnesses themselves. In this way, the gospels leave specifics to be examined.

THE FACT IS THAT THE GOSPELS ARE FULL OF PRECISE DETAILS THAT SCHOLARS HAVE SINCE VERIFIED AS AUTHENTIC. In the film Ronin, there’s a great scene where CIA agent Sam, played by Robert De Niro, confronts Spence (Sean Bean), who claimed to be have been in the SAS. Spence is defending his tactics and Sam isn’t buying it, so he pushes him on his story. “What’s the colour of the boathouse at Hereford?” he demands.

Spence falters, his story crumbling as a detail that would have been known to him if he had ever been at the SAS training base catches him out. Spence wasn’t in Hereford and he didn’t train with the SAS; he didn’t know the details.

Richard Bauckham published a book in 2006 called Jesus and the Eyewitnesses. One brilliant piece of research highlighted in this book looks at the difference between Jewish names in Palestine during the first century and Jewish names in Egypt during the first century. The popular names were different for the two countries, despite their common culture and language.

An author writing in first-century Egypt, who had no knowledge of Palestine, would simply not know this information. Yet, when we read the biblical accounts we see two things. Firstly, the frequency of the names used throughout the gospels correlates

extremely well with the names recorded by wider history from Palestine at that time.

Secondly, and quite incredibly, the popular names are well qualified. Let me explain. In my GCSE maths class there were four Jonathans in the room, and we all deliberately sat next to each other. To our 16-year old minds, it was hilarious when our teacher would shout “Jonathan!” and we would all simultaneously express complete innocence.

But it didn’t work when our surnames were snarled at us from the front.

Similarly, when we see a popular name mentioned, like Simon (the most popular name in Palestine at the time), we see a qualifier, for example Simon Peter or Simon the Zealot. That is how a guy called Simon would have been known to his friends, because there were so many Simons. But someone with a less popular name wouldn’t need a qualifier, and indeed, the gospels show this too.

The fact is that the gospels are full of precise details that scholars have since verified as authentic. We see that place names, distances and the names of people involved all match up. The four gospels were presented and accepted during the first century as true historical accounts.

Another 2,000 years on, and after much research, our studies continue to show how incredibly trustworthy these documents are.

The evidence has been shown to be sound and now it is up to each of us to decide whether to accept Jesus for who He, and history, says He is. I

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n the last edition of Sorted, we saw how well established Jesus is in historical record. History shows Jesus as a man whose life and death had a huge impact on the communities, governments and religions around him. So what was it about Jesus that produced these momentous tremors on the historical seismograph? The answers can be found in the four accounts of Jesus’ life: the gospels.

Now the four gospels of the New Testament claim to be based on eyewitness accounts of Jesus’ life. The thing is, as far as historians can tell, none of the four gospels were written within the location in which they were set.

Countries such as Syria (Matthew) and Egypt (Mark) are considered likely locations for the origin of these texts, as is the Greek city of Ephesus (John). The gospel of Luke may well have been written in Rome or Antioch, and yet, in the opening of his book, Luke says that his writing is based on accounts “handed down to us by those who, from the first, were eyewitnesses”.

Well, it is all very nice claiming eyewitness testimony, you might say, but isn’t it a far simpler explanation to conclude that actually the origins of these books show that these socalled accounts are fabricated stories, made up far away from where the events supposedly took place?

To begin to answer this question, we must first take into account the style of writing in the gospels. Scholars agree that the gospels are presented to us as straightforward historical account. That is, they are full of facts such as names of places and people. Tom Clancy may fill his novels to the brim with detail, but

Jonathan lives in Oxford where he runs Latimers, a place for people to challenge and investigate the Christian faith. He graduated from the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics and now works as an itinerant evangelist, which involves co-leading CVM’s Demolition Squad. Join the conversation online: www.jonathansherwin.net.

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OPINION

JON COBB

Money

they are environmentally friendly or simply have good employer relations and are known for being fair and equitable.

That’s more like it.

But I still feel that the motivation is to make money, so there’s almost a level of disingenuousness about it all. Now don’t get me wrong, I repeat, there’s nothing wrong with making money; but I don’t like it when it is our main driver.

Let’s be honest, it makes commercial sense if a company is known for its good business practice. Last year, a certain coffee chain made a voluntary tax payment. Did it do this because that was the right thing to do, or was it worried about the alarmingly empty coffee shops it was starting to suffer? Do you get my point?

I’ll get to my point. What would you sacrifice if you were passionate about a particular social issue? How about some of the return? I’ll give you an example.

You (and thousands of others) collectively offer a seven-year loan to a homeless charity who go and buy some properties to house young people who have ended up on the scrapheap. But instead of charging an interest rate of 6% (your return), you forego some of that, replacing it with a measurable social impact return, which shows that there are fewer people living on the streets in that city, or that there is less pressure on local hostels. I think you get my drift.

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YOUR RETURN IS NOT JUST MEASURED IN FINANCIAL TERMS, BUT IN SOCIAL IMPACT TERMS TOO!

Speculate to Accumulate

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n my role as an investment manager, I have to keep in touch with all the latest investment fund ideas. Many new proposals end up promising much but delivering little, or worse.

Sadly there is everything from the scatty to the scam, and the benign to the bonkers! Many seem to favour the investment company rather than the investor, and all are driven by a desire to make money.

There’s nothing wrong with making money, but there are plenty of investors who wish to invest with a conscience and therefore ‘screen out’ stocks they would consider unethical.

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to pornography (pun not intended), alcohol, tobacco, gambling, the arms trade and so on.

This is very honourable, but I have to admit to being quite a cynic of investment funds that are collectively known as ‘ethical’ or ‘socially responsible’ investments.

Because there are still plenty of investors willing to buy shares in the ‘unethical’ companies, it is only the investor’s conscience that is appeased; the unethical companies are unlikely to be hurt. It’s hardly world-changing is it?

There are some funds out there that will positively screen and only invest in stocks that are making a difference in the world: whether

Or, perhaps your money is lent to the Ministry of Justice (MoJ) to work with short-term prisoners at a jail. The return you get will be based on a reduction in the number of reoffenders, thus saving the MoJ, and ultimately taxpayers, money. Some of this saving would then come back to you. In other words, your return is not just measured in financial terms, but in social impact terms too!

This is what is called ‘social impact investing’, and it is starting to happen. Sadly, it’s still very much in its fledgling state and appears to be the preserve of the wealthy, who are deemed sufficiently qualified to be take the associated risks. But it’s a movement, and it is gaining momentum. I’m excited!

Back in the late seventies, a certain life insurance company was still owned by the Quakers. The firm wanted to create a fund that people could invest in that removed unethical stocks. It was nicknamed the Brazil Fund, not because it invested in South America, but because people said you had to be nuts to invest in it. This was the first ‘ethical fund’, and there are now estimated to be £9.5 million of retail funds invested this way in the UK. It’s time for another revolution. I Jon Cobb runs financial advisory business Trinity Wealth Management. He is a keen runner, ex-white-collar boxer, passionate Portsmouth supporter, speaker and writer.

Check out Jon’s blog: cobbiescollectivecontemplations.blogspot.co.uk and follow him on Twitter: @CobbyJon.

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OPINION

RICHARD HARDY

Family

What’s the Difference Between Determined and Stubborn?

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y dad turned 80 this year and all I can say is, I hope I‘m as active and with it as he is when I’m 80. There is very little that is old about him. He may be a little shorter and a little greyer than he used to be, but that’s about it! He is always up for a challenge, always pushing himself, always looking for a new project.

He is as determined as ever to be up and doing. He gets on his cross-trainer every day and does between three and five kilometres.

He walks every day and plays boules three times a week. He is still travelling the world.

When dad gets an idea in his head, he is not easily diverted from the planned course of action. One Christmas a couple of years ago, he announced that he had bought a Canadian Canoe. When asked why, he said: “I thought we could go on an adventure!” And we did.

On another occasion, we invited him to the Sherwood Forest Centre Parcs with us. He decided to bring his bike, which he hadn’t ridden in years. On the second morning he said: “Let’s go for a ride in the forest”. So we did.

I AM PRETTY CONVINCED THAT HE CAME OFF FIVE TIMES, IN ALL, DURING THAT RIDE.

the flaw in his plan and come to the conclusion that we were right all along.

So we did, and it turned out it was a better plan. It required far less digging and far fewer raw materials. I asked him later when he had come up with this genius solution.

“About five minutes after you and granddad went outside,” he said. When I asked why he hadn’t told us and saved us a lot of time and energy, he said: “I thought pretty soon you would arrive at the same conclusion.

Granddad seemed to be having such fun, and anyway, you can both be so stubborn I didn’t think you would listen to me.”

Stubborn! Me? No way! Granddad’s stubborn… I’m just determined. I

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It was great and we were fine… until we decided to stop for a rest, that is. The moment we stopped, the bike went banging over with him on it. He got up, brushed himself off, laughed and said rather sheepishly: “I forgot to put my foot down!”

We rode on. I was in the front, my son was in the middle and dad was at the back. We turned a tight corner and there was a crashing of undergrowth behind me. A moment later, my dad appeared covered in leaves. “I forget to turn,” he said. “Once is careless, twice is foolish. I won’t be doing that again!”

We got back on our bikes and rode on. A couple of minutes later, I asked my son where his granddad was. Without batting an eyelid, he said: “Oh, he fell off again!”

The fourth time he came off, he drew blood.

His leg was scraped, but he said it was nothing, stamped his foot and got back on the bike that had bucked him. I cannot be sure, because he never said and we never saw, but I

am pretty convinced that he came off five times, in all, during that ride.

That’s determination! That’s resilience!

A few days later, dad said: “I’m taking you all out to dinner.”

After we had eaten and exited the restaurant, we were unsure how to get back to our cabin in the woods. My dad said: “We go right.” I thought we had to go left, but because I wasn’t sure, I complied.

We walked for a while and came to a junction. “We go right,” my dad said. I said I thought we had to go left, but he insisted, so we went right. We walked for ages and came to another junction. By this time, I was sure we had to go left, so I said so. He was adamant and said: “We go right! You can go left if you like, but I’m going right.” So not wanting to create a scene we went right.

We walked a long way and the woods were dark and disorientating. Then we saw a light.

As we drew near, we all realised we were back outside the restaurant where we started. Then my dad said: “I told you we should have gone left!” We all laughed.

This left me with a question: when does determination become stubbornness? I only discovered the difference recently; just last week, in fact!

My dad came to visit us. Our house has a very steep sloping drive, and he has commented many times that we need to do something about the slope. This time he came with a plan. We were going to measure the angle of the slope.

So out we went, and for a couple of hours we measured, drawing on the concrete. We worked out the gradient. We estimated the height the retaining wall needed to be and how much hard core we needed to make the drive flat.

We tried every possible solution on for size and by lunchtime we had a plan. We would need enough ballast and cement to sink a battleship!

As we were describing the plan, my son – the scientific, methodical and mathematical one of the family – said: “Why don’t you…” and came up with another plan.

If I’m honest, and to our shame, the initial reaction was (though we didn’t say it), we have examined all the options and have come up with the best solution. Yours won’t work. But wanting to seem open-minded, I said, rather smugly: “Let’s just explore this plan of yours in a little more depth.” I honestly believed that in unpacking his plan a little more, he would see

Richard Hardy is a Baptist minister and director of the Entheos Trust, which encourages leaders and enables churches to engage with their communities. Richard has spoken on community engagement, marriage and parenting at many national conferences. He has also written extensively on community and family issues (www.theentheostrust.org).

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OPINION

SAM GIBB

Faith

tools and talk about how to be more useful (Colossians 1:28-29). A tool that is not found in the toolbox is seldom used and will be relatively ineffective.

The toolbox isn’t always the most comfortable place for a tool – the toolbox may often look like it is falling apart – but the toolbox, not the solotool, is the grand-designer’s plan for remaking this broken world.

Many tools seem to think they can do without the toolbox, that the other tools make them look bad; that the best bet is to be a lone-tool. But that is nuts (nuts – get it?). The most useful tools belong in the toolbox, but are not confined by it. More often than not, a tool needs to leave the comfort of the box in order to be used.

But let’s not get too proud, here is the real kick in the nads. God doesn’t need tools; His hands are more than capable of doing everything He needs to without your help.

“Shovel off”, you might respond, “of course God needs me, I’m great.”

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MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, A TOOL NEEDS TO LEAVE THE COMFORT OF THE BOX IN ORDER TO BE USED.

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ou, my friend, are a tool. In fact all blokes are tools, and we would do very well to remember it. Any woman who has spent more than ten minutes with someone of the opposite gender will find it remarkably easy to agree. This is not news to them: just ask your wife/sister/mum/colleague or hamster. But us fellas find it a little tougher to come to terms with.

You see, we like being independent, important and self-reliant. We will battle on for hours before stopping to ask for directions, and Ikea instructions are simply kindling for the fire; that same fire you made all by yourself.

Hand me that jam jar, I’m a man.

“How many men does it take to change a light bulb?” they ask.

“One,” comes our bellowed reply, “because he’s a man!”

All this considered, then, to drop the act, to admit to being a tool, to say that we are not good enough, that we can do nothing on our own, that we need the tool-maker, takes a bucketload of humility; something that none of us have in abundance. We need to realise that we are merely tools in the hand of the creator. Take a look at 2 Timothy 2 and try and tell me otherwise.

And although God chooses some unlikely candidates (just look at some of the tools he uses throughout the Bible: Jonah, Gideon and

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Peter, to name a few), it is right that we are tools prepared for use.

Firstly, we need to stay sharp. As any man will know, there are few things more frustrating than a blunt tool. So allowing the toolmaker to sharpen us is pretty important for any tool. The other thing is that tools sharpen one other (Proverbs 27:17); as we get together for some biblical banter, and to challenge one another.

Which leads us nicely on to the toolbox. The toolbox is a great place for tools to meet other

Sam Gibb is a twenty-something currently living in London and working at All Souls, Langham Place. His passion is to present the message and teachings of Jesus to men in a way that makes sense to them. He has written a series of Bible studies aimed at lads on topics such as comedy, war and sport. Sam’s heroes are the apostle Paul, Alan Shearer and Garfield, though not necessarily in that order. You can follow him on Twitter at @samggibb.

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Tool Academy

But it is a truth that really needs to be hammered home and drilled into our rather thick man-skulls. God doesn’t need me and He doesn’t need you. Yet God, in His grace, chooses to use us, mere tools, to get His stuff done in this world. How great is that?

If you are only just realising that you are a tool, this might be a good prayer: “Lord Jesus, you are the ultimate craftsman and I am merely a tool. Please use me for your glory, that I will be a useful tool, not a selfish tool or a proud tool but a humble and obedient tool.

Lord, help me to be toolish, not foolish.” I

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OPINION

LYNDON BOWRING

Politics

Life and Death Decisions

I

have a confession to make: I recently volunteered to become a blood donor for the first time in my life. This was only because I recently needed a blood transfusion myself, and it made me realise how vitally important it is that we give blood. So I’m a late convert.

The irony is, they are not allowed to take blood from someone who has had a recent blood transfusion. So after all that, I’m still not a blood donor!

But I’m not just interested in blood donations; there is now a growing army of people who are willing to be organ donors.

Organ donation and transplant services across the UK give a new lease of life to thousands of people each year. More and more people are joining the Organ Donation Register, consenting to their body parts posthumously being given to a patient in need: hearts, lungs, hands and even faces.

In 2006, an unusual case took place in China in which a man underwent the world’s first penis transplant. Sadly, he had to have the operation reversed a fortnight later because it had caused his wife such emotional trauma!

Presuming consent

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trust and the principle of consent.

Understandably, if you change the way in which your doctor or health service relates to or views you after death, it will affect the way you relate to them while you are alive!

Undermining the bond of trust between patients and those responsible for their healthcare would be a dangerous move for the Welsh government to make.

Secondly, it could seriously affect families.

The bill states: “Those close to the deceased do not have the legal right to veto or overrule.” So unless they were extremely upset, their objection could legally be ignored. Part of a doctor’s role would normally be to care for those who have been bereaved, but insisting on harvesting the organs of a loved one against the family’s wishes could have the very opposite effect.

Thirdly, presumed consent doesn’t necessarily work in practice. In Sweden and Brazil, where it is legal, fewer transplants have actually been successfully made than before.

So I believe we need to encourage more people to voluntarily join the register; to endorse an altruistic, ‘love thy neighbour’ approach. So if you haven’t done so already, you can register to give blood at www.blood.co.uk or join the Organ Donation Register at www.organdonation.nhs.uk/how_ to_become_a_donor.

The Welsh government plans to pass the bill

this summer, for it to come into force in 2015.

Other UK assemblies and parliaments might also decide to adopt this measure, and it could have a serious impact on all our lives.

UNDERMINING THE BOND OF TRUST BETWEEN PATIENTS AND THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR HEALTHCARE WOULD BE A DANGEROUS MOVE.

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Wales has a particularly high organ donor rate, but it is still not enough to meet the need, and many patients die while they wait for suitable organs to become available. This has prompted the Welsh government to introduce legislation that will change the system so that everyone in Wales is automatically considered a willing organ donor when they die unless they have expressly stated that they don’t want to be. At first glance, this might seem like a very good idea and a great example of the state identifying a need and meeting it; however, the legislation actually raises a number of concerns.

However well-meaning the legislation might be, in the first instance it will seriously affect the important relationship between patients and their doctors. This relationship is built on

Finally, I leave you with a quote from the Christian Medical Fellowship on this subject: “Organ donation is a generous gift and an example of the principle of putting the needs of others before one’s own needs. However, consent to donation should always be voluntary (uncoerced), informed and autonomous.” I Lyndon Bowring was born in Wales and studied at London Bible College. He is an associate minister at Kensington Temple, and has been executive chairman of CARE for more than 25 years. His hobbies include watching rugby, exploring London’s restaurants and developing friendships.

He lives in London with his wife Celia, and they have three children.

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OPINION

LEE AND BAZ

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Cut to the Chase

Beyond the Banter

BY LEE JACKSON

“I

’ve got tickets for Leeds vs Millwall, are you in Lee?” I’m not a big football fan, to be honest – I much prefer the warmer, dryer sport of basketball – but when asked this question I knew enough to understand that Leeds vs Millwall could be quite interesting.

I put it on Facebook and got various responses: some of my mates said I should wear a stab vest or helmet and some suggested I should take a good book as it could be a bit dull.

Anyway, I met up with my old mate Jon Burns and some other Lionsraw leaders (check it out if you’re a football fan) before the match. We had a quick cup of tea at the local vicar’s, who was joining us, and headed down the hill to Elland Road for pre-match fish and chips.

There’s nothing quite like the moment when you enter a stadium or arena for the first time; it sends shivers down your spine. I can see the attraction of becoming a lifelong fan, especially if the sun always shone, as it did on that day.

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As the game progressed, the usual banter ensued from the crowd. Songs about hating Man U, questioning the goalkeeper’s parentage and a special song for the depleted and slightly sad-looking away fans were among the favourites.

Then the stewards asked us all to sit down…

That didn’t go down well.

People ignored them at first and then a guy behind us (who only had two teeth!) stood up and started shouting at the stewards: “Don’t you know who I am?”

We didn’t, the stewards didn’t and I’m not even sure he did! Eventually he sat down and when Leeds scored we saw him run down to the front, jump over the barrier and grab the steward!

Everyone thought he was going to punch him, but he didn’t, he just picked him up and swung him round. When the two-toothed fan put him down, the steward was moved away for his own safety, and maybe to go to the loo (as I’m pretty sure he let out a tiny bit of wee when he was grabbed!).

When he guy started shouting: “Don’t you know who I am?” I thought the guy was being

a bit of a diva at first, but when I noticed his dental disaster I realised he wasn’t. He seemed happy to keep us entertained for half an hour with his banter, which was very funny during a pretty dull second half. The problem with football banter, though, is that some guys spend their lives in that mode and they never go any deeper. Ever.

As we left the stadium, we walked past the temporary market stalls of posters and badges. Among the hundreds of Leeds United scarves were small badges remembering Leeds legend Gary Speed.

Gary’s tragic death shook Leeds and the football world. He was on Football Focus one day and the next he was found hanging in his garage.

It’s so sad that a successful and genuinely popular guy like Gary was obviously struggling with something and just wasn’t able to talk about it. His family is still stunned by his death and say they may never know why he died. Perhaps if he’d been able to open up, a few mates could have carried the burden with him and encouraged him to get help.

The rates of depression and suicide are still scarily high among men in the UK, and the group with the highest number of suicides is men aged 35-49. Gary was 42.

Of course, there are many reasons for this, but to use the ultimate football metaphor, life is all about balance. We need work and rest, sensible eating and drinking; good nights out with mates and good nights in with our families; a bit of a banter, some real friendships and some real conversations too.

WE HAVE TO GET REAL AND GET SOME GOOD MATES WHO WE CAN BE HONEST WITH AND WHO ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS. Beyond banter and surface talk, there is often a man who is lonely and craves true friendship. I know that from my own life. I still have occasional feelings of loneliness and these feelings are shared by some of my (honest) friends when I ask them.

I often wonder if social media has become so popular because we only share the bits we want people to see in our selective Facebook or Twitter relationships. Longer term, we have to get real and get some good mates who we can be honest with and who ask the tough questions. It’s worth it in the long run.

Just for fun this week, I dare you to try and steer conversations away from football, women and cars and see what happens.

I love a bit of banter, but there is real life beyond it… if we are prepared to go there. I Lee Jackson is a speaker and author and one half of LeeandBaz.com. Follow the pair on Twitter @leeandbaz or visit Lee’s speaking website at leejackson.org.

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THE MOTHER OF ALL

RELAY LEGS His preparation for the race was not the way he would have wanted it; he had a fall in the Olympic village. “Three days earlier I tripped going up the steps in the Olympic Village, recalls Mitchell. “I kind of missed one and landed awkwardly. I got treatment and I was fine. I did workouts and, when I warmed up [for the race], I felt really well.”

“WHEN I GOT TO 200 METRES, MY LEFT LEG JUST SNAPPED. I HEARD IT CLEARLY.”

BY STUART WEIR

H

eat two of the men’s 4x400-metre race at the 2012 London Olympics produced one of the most unbelievably courageous runs in the history of the Olympics. Manteo Mitchell of the USA broke his leg but kept on running regardless! (Incidentally, the ‘T’ in his name is silent, so it is pronounced ‘Maneo’.)

Mitchell was not selected for the individual event, so the relay represented his Olympic debut; his first chance to run for his country in the pinnacle of his sport.

He was excited: “Being selected to represent your country is a dream come true – just being selected, especially being as young as I am. My career is just starting, and then the night before learning that I would be the first runner was mind-blowing for me. The overall experience in London was just amazing.”

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Manteo was on the first leg of his relay when it quickly became apparent that all was not normal. He seemed slow out of the blocks and struggled to keep up with runners he should have been beating. Then it happened.

“When I got to 200 metres, my left leg just snapped,” he says. “I heard it clearly.”

So there you are, running in the Olympics and you break your leg. What happens next?

“It was the most excruciating pain ever, but at that moment I had to decide whether I was going to just lay down on the track and quit or to do what I could for the next 200 metres and depend on my three teammates to do what they were supposed to do. You are thinking your career is over; your season is over. [You’re] at a standstill and you are questioning yourself: ‘Do I keep running or do I stop?’

“I chose to keep running. That is my story. I was full of adrenalin; the hype of hundreds of thousands of people cheering for you and wanting you to succeed.

“It was excruciating pain; I treated it like it was a cramp or something like that, and I just fought through it. I am the type of person that I like to finish the job. I was selected to be the first runner because I had the most experience on the team in that particular relay team, so I definitely wanted to fulfil what the coaches thought of me and what the USA thought of me.

“At 300 metres, I thought I wasn’t going to make it. You can’t really see it in the video, but if you look closely you can see I was leaning towards the left and I had a grimace on my face. I wear shades when I run, but behind the shades I actually had tears. I just had to fight the pain, fight the fear and channel my mentality into finishing. I saw the next runner, Josh Mance, motioning me to come and I didn’t want to let the other three guys down or the team down.

“I knew the leg was broken, but I tried to channel my emotions and the mentality that if I finish, these guys will do what they are supposed to do and hopefully we will make it to the final.”

The incident gave the press a field day, with everyone trying to out-pun each other: “Manteo gave a whole new meaning to ‘a relay leg’”, “He was ‘carrying an injury’” and so on.

With hindsight, medical opinion is that the fall set up a bone bruise. Then the stress and pressure built up over the following three days and running full speed in the actual race led to the weakened bone breaking.

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“I AM A VERY HARDCORE CHRISTIAN. I WEAR A CROSS WHEN I RUN. I HAVE MY TATTOO WITH MY MOTTO – FAITH, FOCUS, FINISH – ON MY ARM.”

He also told me that having Jesus in his life made a big difference. He gave the example of a point in his life in 2011 when he was seriously thinking of giving up running. He shared his thoughts with his coach, who was not impressed.

“Then I had a talk with God and said, ‘Just guide me and take over right now’. I started dieting right, I started improving, I started PR-ing [running personal best times] time after time after time, starting with the World Indoor Championships in Istanbul, Turkey.

“Ever since that it has just been an amazing ride. Of course, there are hurdles in the way; everyone is going to stumble once in a while. It seems that I take one step back and two steps forward and it is because of Him, and I am definitely appreciative and I am not afraid to show that.”

Manteo is constantly amazed when complete strangers take inspiration from his story. Young athletes tweet him that they have taken on the Faith, Focus, Finish mantra as their own. People tell him that they have felt like giving up in tough situations, but his experience inspired them to keep going. Churches send him DVDs of sermons where the preacher talked about him.

It is a particular encouragement to him “that it is not just an athletics aspect, there is a Christian aspect as well that God can order our steps and if you follow his will, he will do what he has ordered for you,” he explains.

We have not seen the last of Manteo Mitchell on the athletics track. He has ambitions to make his mark in World Championships and Olympics. However, it is unlikely that he will ever find himself running such a remarkable race as that London relay last summer. I

Manteo Mitchell (on right) hands over the baton to Joshua Mance for the USA.

Stuart Weir is passionate about Jesus Christ and about sport, and spends his life trying to help people see the connection. He has written several books on Christianity and sport and worked as a writer at the 2008 Olympics, the 2009 World Athletics Championships and spent a month in South Africa watching and writing about the World Cup. Married to Lynne with two grownup children, he is a member of Kidlington Baptist Church and Frilford Heath Golf Club.

Photograph by Mark Shearman

But the story had a happy ending. Team USA reached the final and finished second behind the Bahamas. And by virtue of his run in the heat, Manteo qualified for an Olympic silver medal.

However, he was quite unprepared for the reaction to his Olympic effort. On his return from London, he was honoured with a series of parades in his home state of North Carolina. Months after the event, he is still handling a flood of requests to speak about his experience. He estimates that he speaks two or three times a week, whether in schools, churches or at business gatherings. He even took part in a Skype interview with schoolchildren in Kenya! He was amazed that even in Kenya they knew his story.

Mitchell’s awards include an Inspirational Performance of the Year award from USA Track and Field and a purple heart from the US Marine Corps. At a White House reception for America’s Olympians and Paralympians, President Obama singled him out for praise.

“The president gave a speech and said the Olympics were all about inspiration. He gave four or five different examples and then he said, and I quote: ‘Then there’s my favourite one: Manteo Mitchell’.”

When I joked that it might be safer for him to run the 200 metres in future, he replied: “Yes, if I don’t break it at 100!”

Ironically, Manteo is now better known for running with a broken leg than for his other achievements. He finished fifth in the US Olympic trials, having led the race until 320 metres, so failed to make the US team for the individual 400 metres as only the first three were selected. Having now made a full recovery, his target is to be selected for the US team for the World Championships in Moscow in August, both in the relay event and the individual competition.

I caught up with Manteo in January, when he was running in Glasgow for a US indoor team. He was curious about running indoor, not having had much experience. “The place where I train now does not have any indoor facilities, so it is tough for me to get on an indoor track and do very well,” he explains.

“I think a lot of athletes train through indoors and they think indoors does not really matter. I think it can be a determining factor for how the rest of your season goes outdoors.”

But more than anything he was just pleased to be running again after an 11 week layoff.

Mitchell has always been very open about his faith: “I am a very hardcore Christian. I wear a cross when I run. I have my tattoo with my motto – Faith, Focus, Finish – on my arm. That is something that is beyond me, but definitely got me to the finish line in London. That is what I said to myself during those last 200 metres, ‘Faith, Focus Finish’. I do believe that helped me to get to where I needed to go, plus a little adrenalin and thousands of people cheering for you as well.”

These three have become something of a buzz phrase among followers of his Twitter feed (@manteomitchell).

Faith has been part of Mitchell’s life since he was a child. “My grandmother is an evangelist; my grandfather is the head deacon of my home church that I grew up in,” he explains. “I played organ, keyboard and drums and still play to this day. Music and church have always been the top two things in my life.”

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John Motson on the FA Cup W

I think the first one my father took me to was Preston North End against West Ham in 1964, when Preston were unlucky as West Ham got the winner with three minutes to go.

I particularly remember that one, because the late Bobby Moore was the captain of West Ham. Our seats were positioned in such a way that when he came down the steps with the FA Cup, I was able to reach out and touch him, which was quite a memorable moment for me. I think it was also the first time my father had taken me to Wembley as well, which made it quite a landmark day in my life.

BY STUART WEIR

When did you undertake your first TV Cup Final commentary?

hen honorary secretary of the FA, Charles Alcock, announced on July 20, 1871, that the FA had decided that: “It is desirable that a Challenge Cup should be established in connection with the association, for which all clubs belonging to the association should be invited to compete,” he could never have guessed that the competition would still be going strong 142 years later; arguably having established itself as the most famous cup competition in the world.

Two of the 700 clubs that entered this year’s competition will contest the final at Wembley on May 11.

Sorted caught up with legendary BBC commentator John Motson to find out what the FA Cup Final means to him.

After school, I started my career in the newspaper business, got into radio and then television. My first commentary was 1977, but I had worked on the Cup Final programme for BBC TV since 1969. On Cup Final day I did reports and interviews before the game and was on the pitch after the final whistle to grab a player and take him down to the interview room; or even try to get the FA Cup trophy on BBC before ITV grabbed it, as it was pretty competitive in those days.

So I was well versed in what happened at Wembley on Cup Final day by the time I got the commentary in 1977 for Manchester United [versus] Liverpool, when it seemed that Lou Macari had scored the winning goal, but in the end Jimmy Greenhoff claimed the goal! Macari’s shot had bounced off Greenhoff. Liverpool came off the pitch beaten and then won the European Cup four days later.

I was only really doing the Cup Final commentary that year because David Coleman was away and there was a lot of speculation as to who would replace him. When I was chosen in preference to Barry Davies, that provoked some press coverage. And of course the competition between Barry and me continued to be an issue for another 20 years.

What is your first Cup Final memory?

Shaun Boggust / Colorsport

Which was the first Cup Final you attended?

Nineteen-fifty, when my father took me to a music shop in Woolwich to watch the Cup Final on TV. It was pouring with rain and Arsenal beat Liverpool 2-0. We did not have our own TV for another five or six years after that. In 1953 he took me to a friend’s house to watch the famous Stanley Matthews final, when Matthews got his winner’s medal at long last. Blackpool beat Bolton Wanderers 4-3. Then, when we got our own TV, I would watch it year by year at home.

When did you become the regular Cup Final commentator?

I did 1977, but the following year David Coleman was back [for Arsenal versus Ipswich] and I reverted to my original role of interviewer and ‘chaser of people’. I got it permanently in 1979; the Arsenal [versus] Manchester United final, when United came back from 0-2 to draw level at 2-2, only for Arsenal to score again… all in about five minutes. I kept it then for the next 15 years, right through to Chelsea [versus] Manchester United in 1994.

In those days, there were midweek replays when the Saturday game was drawn…

Yes, and I had the opportunity of doing several replays.

In 1981 – the centenary year – there was the famous Ricky Villa replay, called after his amazing goal as Tottenham Hotspur beat Manchester City. Tottenham had another replay the following year when they drew with QPR. Then in 1983, there was a replay for the third year running with Manchester United beating Brighton.

Are you sorry that replays are no more?

No. I think it was inevitable that replays could not be accommodated. The season had become too long and confusing with so many games in different competitions; the football calendar was already creaking. The climax of the European club competition had taken over. The Premier League had got bigger and bigger, and we even had fixtures arranged the same weekend as the Cup Final. To be honest, the FA Cup had lost some of its lustre and dragging it out to an extra match at the end of the season was a step too far.

I think there should be replays in the third round so the little clubs get a chance to make more money when 76

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What happened after 1994?

Barry Davies fought his way back and was chosen for 1995 and 1996. I got it back in 1997. Then ITV got the rights for a few years and, while I was doing commentary, it was just for highlights on Match of the Day in the evening.

The Cup Final had relocated to Cardiff while the new Wembley was being built, and I did the last one at Cardiff – 2006 – when Steven Gerrard’s goal for Liverpool against West Ham forced extra time and eventually a Liverpool win in Cardiff. I also did the 2007 final, the first one back at Wembley, when Chelsea beat Manchester United 1-0 through Didier Drogba’s goal. The last one I did was Portsmouth [versus] Cardiff City in 2008, when Harry Rednapp’s Portsmouth won the cup. Since then, [the] BBC has not had the contract for the FA Cup.

Is it fair to say that Cup Final day isn’t quite what it once was?

The thing you have to remember is that, in those days, people not just in this country, but all over the world, used to put the day aside to watch the Cup Final. Of course, in the 1960s and 1970s, it was the only live game we ever got on television; there were only recorded highlights the rest of the season.

Live football did not come until the late ’80s and did not take over completely until Sky came in 1992. So in the 1960s, families would put the day aside and the coverage would start about 10.30 in the morning with cameras in the team hotels, interviews and features; how they got there and goodness knows what! It was a seven- or eighthour television bonanza, and it only happened once a year so people did gather round and make a day of it.

Not Just Wembley The FA Cup Final took place at Wembley from 19231939, 1946-2000 and 2007 onwards. It was at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff from 2001-2006.

The first FA Cup Final in 1872 (along with1874-92) was held at the Kennington Oval. Crystal Palace hosted the FA Cup final from 18951914. Old Trafford, Fallowfield Manchester, Lillie Bridge, Everton and Stamford Bridge were also Cup Final venues prior to 1920. Seeing as you asked, Cup Final replays have been held at Derby Racecourse, Bolton, Everton, Old Trafford and Bramhall Lane as well as Wembley.

And it isn’t the priority for clubs it once was…

Sadly, that is right, as managers have rotated their teams as they think their survival in the Premier League or their involvement in Europe comes first. They would defend it by saying that it is a squad game now and all the players have got to be given a chance.

I suppose if they do mix their teams up they give the lesser clubs a chance. This season we have seen Oldham knocking out Liverpool, and Arsenal, Newcastle, Aston Villa, Tottenham and Norwich losing to lower league clubs. I suppose it does keep the spirit of the competition alive if we do get an underdog beating a big team.

Colorsport / Phil Oldham

they have managed to draw with the giants. But I wouldn’t have a problem if, from the fourth round on, they abolished replays completely. This season, for example, when Chelsea drew with Brentford, they finished up playing the fourth-round reply on fifthround day with the fifth round being delayed.

Over the years, you have seen so many memorable Cup Final goals. What springs to mind?

Ricky Villa’s goal for Tottenham will always stick in my mind. It seemed fitting for the 100th final to be won by such a great individual effort. Of course, in 1981 the overseas players had just started to come over to England. The two Argentinians, Ricky Villa and Ossie Ardiles, were absolutely top drawer.

The Gerrard goal in Cardiff in 2006, which took the game into extra time with Liverpool eventually winning on penalties, is another I’ll always remember.

Trevor Brooking’s header in 1980 [West Ham 1, Arsenal 0] will always come back to me because he so rarely scored with his head. Trevor, of course, later became a co-commentator with me at Cup Finals.

What about great matches?

Coventry beating Tottenham in 1987 was probably the best game of football – in the purest sense – that I covered. I thought that was a superb game of football, never mind a Cup Final.

Another one is 1988, when Wimbledon beat Liverpool.

Lawrie Sanchez scored the winner and Dave Beasant became the first goalkeeper to save a penalty in the Cup Final as Wimbledon pulled off a shock. I

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YFC’s 48-Hour Football Marathon

W

hen the whistle blows after 90 minutes and it’s honours even, you can usually see the sheer exhaustion etched on the faces of professional footballers as another 30 minutes of extra time looms.

Imagine then what the men of Youth for Christ (YFC) will go through between April 30 and May 2 as they attempt to break the Guinness World Record for playing the longest continuous game of football.

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The current record, set by two Canadian teams, stands at 42 hours, but YFC’s very own dream teams are in training to top it by playing for an incredible 48 hours non-stop.

The only question is, why do it? YFC national director, Gavin Calver – who is part of the team, along with nine other YFC staff and six friends – explains: “We’re passionate about football and keen to smash a world record that we care about; one that isn’t silly like lying in a bath of beans!”

To succeed, they will have to overcome

fatigue, injuries and sleep deprivation, but it’s all in aid of a worthy cause. “In breaking this record,” Gavin says, “we want to raise great awareness and support for the vital gospel work we are involved in amongst teenagers throughout Britain today.”

Sorted is sponsoring the YFC team as they take on this exciting challenge. To support YFC’s record-breaking attempt yourself, visit the fundraising web page at www.give.net/pages/ blog/48-hour-football-marathon or email yfc@yfc.co.uk to find out more. I

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SPORT

A Whole New Ball Game

BY JOY TIBBS

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nlike Match of the Day, Match for a Day is not a TV show. If it were, Jack Bauer would be all over it, as it involves a whopping 24 hours of greatness. Set up by Ambassadors in Sport (AIS), the footballing event starts at 10am on June 7 and ends at precisely the same time on June 8.

On the day, an AIS team will play against a new fresh team every hour at The London Soccerdome, a dedicated indoor football arena. Event sponsor State Street Bank has already agreed to put in a team, as have The Salvation Army Stratford and Frinton Free Church Essex.

Special guests at the event will include former Portsmouth FC defender Linvoy Primus, who will share his personal story and information about his latest project (www.linvoyprimus.com) as well as doing some serious talking on the pitch.

“When I was told about Match for the Day, I thought to myself, ‘That sounds cool and challenging’, and I wanted to hear more,” Linvoy tells Sorted.

“Once I heard the details, I expressed a desire to take part. The idea of playing football for 24 hours sounds crazy, but what a way to raise money for my ministry and charity.

“I’ve also asked a couple of ex-pros if they want to get involved – Dave Waterman, formerly of Portsmouth FC, and Trevor Benjamin, formerly of Leicester FC – and they have agreed to take part for their own personal charities.

“Since I retired from football, I’m always looking for new physical and unique challenges, and this is up there.”

“THE BEAUTIFUL GAME PROVIDES A WAY OF REACHING OUT TO PEOPLE FROM ALL SORTS OF BACKGROUNDS IN A NON-THREATENING WAY.” The two AIS teams will play in two-hour shifts, having just enough time to rest before they get back on the pitch. Teams will comprise eight players on half a full-sized AstroTurf pitch.

“At AIS, our dreams are to see the lives of marginalised and vulnerable individuals and communities changed positively for good through football,” says organiser Stephen Read.

“The beautiful game provides a way of reaching out to people from all sorts of backgrounds in a non-threatening way. This builds a trusting environment where lifechanging decisions can be made. We have sought to pioneer and develop exciting

grassroots educational initiatives, focused around football, to transform people’s lives.

“These programmes include football club development, academies, soccer schools, tournaments, and work in prisons and schools, as we seek to help young people, youth offenders, adults, the homeless and the marginalised.”

If you’d like to get involved, cost per team ranges from £150 to £350 (depending on the time slot you choose), and this includes postmatch refreshments. If you want to go a step further (and avoid the hard graft), you could become a corporate sponsor. Packages range from kit sponsorship (£500) through to full event and naming rights (£4,000).

Visit www.matchforaday.co.uk or contact Stephen Read (sr@ais-uk.org) for more information. I Sorted. May/Jun 2013

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HEALTH & FITNESS

FITNESS With Phil Baines

Fit to be Fathers

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H

ow do you keep disciplined with any fitness plan? Maybe, like me, yours is good for a few months and then goes down the pan for a while. (Talking of down the pan, what do toilet bowls and anniversaries have in common?

They are both generally missed by men!)

We have often spoken of the need for a goal or challenge, and what better motivation than being a father.

I remember vividly becoming a father. I was 33 at the time and knew that I was really keen to be fit for my two boys. As I have previously

mentioned, I suffered a serious knee injury at 37, so from the age of 37 to 42 I did absolutely nothing in the way of fitness. In fact, it was only eight years after the injury, when a group of mates suggested doing the Three Peaks Challenge, that things began to change.

I got to know an inspirational fitness instructor who helped me to dream and believe enough to begin to fulfil some of those dreams. In my mind there was always a burning desire to be fit for my two sons, and now at the age of 52 I have the privilege of being able to train and more or less keep up with my 18 and 19-year-old. When it comes to the sprinting I struggle a little, but anything over a mile I’m alright.

So what better motivation do you need than being fit for your children? You may say you’re not at that stage yet, or that age yet. The thing that we are discovering is that if we look after ourselves at a younger age, it has huge benefits as we get older. This is the case for fitness, but also for most major illnesses. The risk of cancer, heart disease and other serious disease are reduced by keeping healthy and fit, and by eating properly.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children as fathers is our time and energy. This does not necessarily mean heavy challenges.

Walking is a good way to keep fit and, in my experience, is one of the most natural times to talk. The British countryside is covered with footpaths, byways and all kinds of ancient routes.

YOUR CHILDREN ARE MORE LIKELY TO KEEP FIT THEMSELVES IF THEY SEE YOU DOING JUST THAT.

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At the moment, a group of us are doing The Ridgeway: from Avebury to Ivinghoe Beacon.

We are walking around ten miles one Saturday a month for the next seven or eight months, including some young adults and some oldies like me. We were up there in the snow in February and, although cold, it was spectacular.

The last thing to bear in mind is that your children are more likely to keep fit themselves if they see you doing just that.

So fathers, future fathers, husbands, boyfriends… We need to work to be the very best version of ourselves we can be: in body, mind and spirit. Perhaps we can use Father’s Day (June 16) as a motivation to either carry on with our fitness programmes or even start on that road. I can guarantee that you will benefit personally as much as your family and that you will receive as much as you give. I

Phil Baines is passionate about fitness and sport. He recently began a venture called Fit 4 The Challenge (www.f4tc.co.uk), which offers a range of physical challenges for diverse abilities. Phil organises each challenge and trains individuals and teams to complete them, either for charity or for personal achievement or both. Phil is married with two teenage sons.

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HEALTH & FITNESS

NUTRITION With Caroline Gerrie

Cheers!

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What’s the deal with water consumption?

How many glasses of water should you drink a day and which type: mineral, spring, filtered or tap?!

Is water even that good for you?

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W

ater is essential for life, and maintaining optimal levels of hydration is important for humans to function well. The adult body’s weight is made up of approximately 60% of water, distributed between our intracellular (inside cells) and our extracellular (water in the blood and in between our cells) compartments.

It is the main component of blood, synovial fluid (found in the joints), saliva and urine, which form vital functions in the body. As our brains are 73% water, poor hydration affects our concentration levels.

Studies show that even mild dehydration can reduce everyday mental performance and increase levels of aggression and irritation.

Our bodies need water for optimum levels of function, so, yes, water is good for you. And it has a whopping bonus that it contains zero calories, to boot!

With our busy lifestyles – often eating ‘on the hoof’ with processed foods and caffeinated or sugary drinks so easily at our disposal – we are not taking in enough water to give our bodies the optimum hydration they crave. The European Food Safety Authority‘s scientific bods suggest a daily intake of 2.5 litres of water for men and two litres for women.

But it’s not just from raising a glass; 20% of your fluid intake comes from the foods you eat! Fresh fruits, vegetables, soups and salads are a great way to take in the recommended 20% water, and the remaining 80% can be just as much fun. Smoothies, caffeine-free teas and fresh juices work well alongside water.

The Department of Health recommends six to eight glasses of water per day as a guide. Yet at the moment, the average adult drinks only 200 mls (less than one glass of

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water!) per day.

So which type of water is best? In my opinion, mineral water – ideally in a glass bottle – is the ‘champagne’ of the water world, as it contains natural minerals and comes naturally purified. This is closely followed by spring water. We are fortunate to live in the UK, which has excellent waterways and delivers fresh water to our homes. See below for the types of drinking water available and make up your own mind: just remember to raise that glass!

AS OUR BRAINS ARE 73% WATER, POOR HYDRATION AFFECTS OUR CONCENTRATION LEVELS. Most people are aware that they should sip water during exercise, but did you realise that working in airconditioned offices and travelling on aeroplanes causes our bodies to lose water, which can result in mild dehydration and fatigue? On these occasions, having a bottle of water on your desk or in the flight cabin and drinking frequently helps to stabilise the water level in your body, resulting in increased concentration and less fatigue or jet lag.

When out socialising, interject a glass of mineral water between your favourite brew throughout the evening, or better still, challenge your mates to find the best alcoholfree drink… No? I thought that might be pushing it! I Caroline Gerrie is a registered nutritional therapist and runs a clinic in West Sussex. She is also a founder of Trade Aid International. In a world of pressure, both in the workplace and at home, Caroline has a passion to see people ‘fit for purpose’, not only spiritually but physically, too. Caroline is married to David and they have three children.

What type of water is available to you?

Tap water: straight from the tap. Can contain bacteria and chemicals and may also have an unpleasant, bitter taste.

Filtered water: from the tap, but passed through a filter to reduce chemical additives etc to improve the overall taste of water.

Mineral water: taken at surface level from a source of underground water that has passed through minerals and salts, which infuse into the water. Purified naturally.

Spring water: taken from a natural aquifer far underground and bottled at the source of the spring. UK sources must meet hygiene standards and are possibly treated to meet further pollution regulations.

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HEALTH & FITNESS

HEALTHY COOKING With Chef Mike Darracott

Baked potato with tuna and sweetcorn filling Serves 4 people

INGREDIENTS 4 large baking potatoes 1 tsp of vegetable oil Salt and ground black pepper to taste 300g tuna, canned in water and drained 8 tbs plain, low-fat yoghurt 12 tbs cooked, fresh sweetcorn (can be frozen or canned if fresh is unavailable) 4 spring onions, finely chopped 1 medium-sized, diced red pepper Preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F/gas mark 6

METHOD FOR FILLING 1

Place the yoghurt, tuna, sweetcorn, spring onions and red pepper in a bowl and add salt and pepper to taste.

2 Now mix the ingredients together with a wooden spoon, and leave in the fridge to chill until required.

METHOD FOR POTATOES 3 Wash, and pat dry your potatoes, then prick with a thin skewer about 12 mm deep all around and rub with vegetable oil.

4 Next place on a baking sheet, and bake for around 1.5 hours, check after the first hour to see if cooked by gently pushing a thin skewer towards the centre of each potato. If soft all the way through they are ready, if not leave until they are.

5 Remove from the oven, cut a cross through the middle of each, add the filling and serve with some salad of your choice.

Michael J Darracott has been an executive chef at various large establishments. He has cooked for more than 200 people at a time, including a number of celebrities, and has published several books. For more information, visit www.chefmikedarracott.com.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

TONY VINO

In Vino Veritas

Wheat’s the Difference? other species would do such a thing with its staple diet? Imagine squirrels suddenly switching to couscous after complaining they’ve developed a nut allergy. Or bees all developing hay fever and abandoning pollen.

We can no longer with any sense of integrity pray to our creator: “Give us this day our daily bread”.

We have given rise to wheat intolerance (excuse the pun, I’m just kneady) and turned our back on our doughy eyed friend. Think of the symbolism… Jesus at the last supper saying: “Take, eat. This is my gluten-free Ryvita snack broken for you.” Utter Sacrilege.

IMAGINE SQUIRRELS SUDDENLY SWITCHING TO COUSCOUS AFTER COMPLAINING THEY’VE DEVELOPED A NUT ALLERGY.

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Tony Vino is a professional stand-up comedian who straddles the worlds of comedy clubs, corporate entertainment, churches and festivals. He co-hosts a weekly podcast for men with Alex Willmott, which is available on iTunes.

I

’m a liberal at heart and thus despise all forms of intolerance. The most recent and pernicious manifestation must be that of wheat intolerance.

Wheat! Since when did bread have such a bad press?

“I’m bloated, it must be all that bread I had.”

No, it’s probably more to do with the slabs of lardy bacon you had between the slices.

Bread has gone through a PR disaster of late, with the humble, white sliced loaf now ranking on a par with bankers, traffic wardens and Jedward.

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Pret a Manger has introduced a range of ‘breadless sandwiches’; just the filling in a box.

Not even a cursory wrap is provided. Sandwich filling without bread isn’t a sandwich, it’s a salad! Just as filling-free slices of bread without filling aren’t sandwiches; they just make up a loaf.

Forget gluten-free, I’m all for high-carb gluttony. Dr Atkins can just focaccia off!

If eating bread makes you feel lethargic, have a nap. If it makes you feel bloated, let off a big fart. Let’s all raise a toast to the person who invented the humble loaf. It literally is the best thing since… I

The audacity is staggering. The human race has been happily living on bread for millennia and now, all of a sudden, we are abandoning our floury compatriot in favour of low-carb alternatives.

We stubbornly refuse to bite the hand of the gingerbread man that fed us… Gillian McKeith says we should all be using rice cakes instead.

But then the advice of anyone who feels it is acceptable to inspect and sniff people’s faeces and then suggest you’re the one with the problem should be ignored.

The sheer ingratitude is bewildering! What Sorted. May/Jun 2013

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FINAL THOUGHTS

JEFF LUCAS

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Lucas Aid

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Daddy’s Boy

T

yler was 16 when he died. He had lived in the valley of the shadow of death since he was eight years old, although it was not until his final year on earth that he learned just how terribly ill he was.

The battle for Tyler began when, at the tender age of four, he developed neurofibromatosis; a disease that turns the body into a harrowingly efficient production line for tumours. Many suffer this disability and live to tell the tale: but Tyler was one of the 1% for whom this is not so. In fact, his was the worst case the doctors could recall.

His body was a mass of small predators, which conspired together to steal his ability to walk; birthing a brain tumour and robbing him of his right eye when he was just eight. He would endure 12 major surgeries, and in one six-week period was unconscious beneath the scalpel for an unthinkable 49 hours. In the end, the doctors stopped counting tumours and counted the days that were left instead.

They knew that it would not be long.

For 14 years, life said a firm “no” to Tyler. His desire to play his beloved baseball was rudely declined; instead, he rode an electric wheelchair. He worked for a while in a skateboard shop, and would have been delighted to ride the sleek board they presented to him; but any hope that he might have had to while away balmy days surfing the Sorted. May/Jun 2013

sidewalks with friends was cruelly dashed.

Like any teenager, he dearly wanted to drive a car. But life’s verdict was firm, and without possibility of appeal: no. And his bike, which he had once been able to pedal furiously, was denied him too.

Unusually for one so young, Tyler’s greatest ambition had been to become a father.

Testament to the love of his parents, Josh and Sherri, Tyler longed to see his own children’s laughing faces one day. When he was told that his disease was terminal, his first response was surprising: “I hope that I get to have kids first.”

They said that if he did live to become a dad, his own offspring would have a 50-50 chance of themselves being struck down by this terror disease. He determined that he would perhaps grow up to have one child and adopt some more. But the prognosis was devastating, it’s cold accuracy correct: his children would never be.

And perhaps one of the toughest denials for the tactile Tyler was the fact that his family couldn’t hug him anymore, a refusal born of kindness, not coldness. Because to embrace him would have sent his nerves into searing agony. He would watch longingly as his dad wrestled with his brothers and sisters, that rough and tumble playfulness way out of bounds for his fragile frame.

Despite all the denials, Tyler was defiantly a “yes” person. His parents are quick to insist that he was no saint and he had moments where,

like the rest of the human race, he could miss the mark. But for his disability, Sherri insists, he might have strolled into more trouble than he could navigate in a wheelchair.

However, gold was also produced in his furnace of pain. He determinedly pursued relationships, even when his telephone went quiet as his school friends, unable to know what to say or how to act, stopped calling.

He had a particular hankering to help a workmate who had a reputation for being a rough, tough guy, who had subsequently moved away. The night before he died, Tyler received a call from that long-distance friend, who insisted on coming to see him, and they spent an hour together that final evening.

Tyler said “yes” to what others saw as “no” situations. When he was forced to abandon his regular bike, his dad took him out and bought him a three-wheeled version in bright yellow.

Depressed that his son would be reduced to an uncool three-wheeler, Josh felt gloomy about the yellow machine, until Tyler blurted out on the way home: “I am so blessed! I’ve got a three-wheeled bike!” There was no irony or sarcasm, just gratitude and celebration in the face of indignity.

If his sight became dim, his humour stayed razor sharp. One night, as he sat with his family in the kitchen, every face stained with tears, he announced that the ‘sobfest’, as he dubbed it, should come to an end. “How about we all suck it in and go to bed?” he suggested.

He gave Josh a ring with the single word “Dad”, printed on it, prompting yet more sobbing.

Later, he held out his own hand, pretending that there was a ring there, and mimicked his father’s crying with a grin.

They asked Tyler if he would like to go on a dream trip, and, as many chronically ill children have done, he chose to go to Disney World. But there’s a detail to note here: it was impossible for Tyler to go on a single ride; again, to do so would have bought waves of pain. His family knew that he had put in the request for their sake.

TWO LIMOUSINE COMPANIES CALLED TO OFFER THE FINEST TRANSPORT AVAILABLE, FREE OF CHARGE. Sherri wanted to explain to her son that there was a bright future, out of this world, ahead.

She compiled a book about his life, calling it Buckets of Glory. The rationale was simple: she figured that her boy had been drenched with hundreds of buckets of suffering and pain, but the Bible teaches that the glory out there will far outweigh and outshine any suffering down here, so the equation was simple. There would be hundreds and hundreds of glory buckets waiting for her Tyler.

There was one other hope that Tyler had cherished. He had liked a girl in his church for a very long time. Erica was blonde and beautiful, with a warm, winning smile and a tender heart for God. In America, the football season begins with a so-called ‘homecoming’ party. Tyler asked Erica if she would do him

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FINAL THOUGHTS Three gifts were given to Tyler as he ended his life here. He had been completely deaf for five months, but towards the end he was able to hear the faintest whisper, the quiet reassurances of mum and dad as they prepared him for the great journey. And then, the night before he went, he reported hearing a voice calling his name: a summons from above to the party?

BRIGHT BALLOONS BOUNCED IN THE BREEZE. BUNTING GARLANDED THE HEDGES.

Lord Himself wasn’t the first sight he saw.

Call me sentimental if you like, but knowing Jesus, I reckon Tyler had a special ‘homecoming’ party in heaven: a few billion bright buckets, brimming over with glory. A bike with two wheels, not three. And perhaps, to welcome him, there were a million bright posters on display, each with just one word scrawled upon it.

Yes! Tyler is home. I Jeff Lucas is an international speaker, broadcaster and author of 22 books. He loves to communicate using humour and storytelling. He is a monthly contributor to Christianity Magazine and writes daily Bible reading notes, Life Every Day. Jeff holds a teaching position at Timberline Church in Colorado and is married to Kay.

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the courtesy of accompanying him to this very special event.

Somehow, the news of the proposed date got around the town and two limousine companies called to offer the finest transport available, free of charge. A local florist provided the most beautiful bouquet to crown the evening. A jeweller provided an earring and necklace set for Tyler to present to his date, and three restaurants called to offer a free dinner. But the big question remained: would Erica say “yes” to the date?

Tyler returned home from the hospital to discover that his front garden had been totally transformed. Erica’s family had pitched in to create a garden-wide carnival of colour. Bright balloons bounced in the breeze. Bunting garlanded the hedges. But what demanded Tyler’s attention as he stared, speechless, at the garden, were the dozens of fluorescent posters that had been placed everywhere. Many of them carried just one word, bold and arresting.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Tyler – resplendent in his rented tuxedo and top hat – and the lovely Erica were transported to the party like royalty; he danced with her by flipping the joystick of his electric wheelchair backwards and forwards. It was a wonderful evening when, for just once, life said a big “yes”.

And now, as you read this, Tyler is gone, his battle with the tumour machine that was his body is finally over. Sherri and Josh sensed that, as parents, they were about to witness what they saw as a real privilege: the entrance of their son into heaven.

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Finally, he was granted the gift of giving, even as he died. He was urgently insistent that his parents would not be alone when he died, and waited for help and aid to come before he slipped peacefully away. As his family, including siblings Jeremy, Charlie, Katie and Colby, gathered together to whisper their farewells for now, he deliberately went around the circle pointing specifically at each one and, in sign language, using hands that he could barely move the day before because of the pain, he spelled out, “I love you”. They whispered: “We release you,” and as he flew away, they said that the sense of peace in the room was tangible.

Something tells me that when he skipped up the pathway to be with Jesus, the clumsy wheelchair an unnecessary accessory now, the

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FINAL THOUGHTS

CARL BEECH

The Great Escape

W

hile I’m sure I have more than a few blind spots – by definition I can’t be 100% sure of this – I also have some character traits (some would say flaws) of which I’m well aware.

For example, sometimes I get distracted when I’m talking to someone and stop paying attention. I don’t mean to be rude, and often I am actually deeply interested in what the other person is saying. It’s just simply that I get distracted!

I JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT MY NATURAL AND RELAXED FACE MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A BULLDOG AND A HITMAN. I’m also noisy. I can’t help always needing to make noise, whether that’s strumming a guitar, learning a new instrument, turning the TV volume up too loud or just talking in a hushed tone. I’m aware of it, but I sometimes forget.

I also have a grumpy face. There’s not much I can do about that! I just have to accept that my natural and relaxed face makes me look like a cross between a bulldog and a hitman.

C’est la vie.

However, the focus for now is on the fact that I am a certified fidget. I don’t like meetings that drag on and I nearly always sit in church, or anywhere come to that, by the rear door. I need to know that I can escape!

This happened to me a few months back during a meeting in London. About 100 of the good, the bad and the ugly of the UK church scene were gathered for a day’s meeting. By about 2pm I was soundly into fidget mode, so I made my escape. I waited for a prayer to kick off and snuck out the back. My next meeting was two hours later across London, so I figured I would have time for a cheeky coffee and a wander round.

Forty-five minutes later I was lost, thanks to a

well-known smartphone map app malfunction, and found myself wandering completely unintentionally past the Norwegian Embassy.

Sat on the steps was a Chinese-looking woman sobbing her heart out. She was trying to light a cigarette but failing because her hands were shaking too much.

I’m pretty shy as a rule, so when my conscience prompted me to stop and talk to her, believe me when I say that I’m not given to this sort of thing. But what happened next was pretty incredible.

Having asked the most stupid questions in the world (“How are you? Are you ok?”), she stood up, looked me in the eye and said: “God has forgotten me since before the day I was born”.

Now hear me clearly when I say that I really and truly don’t look like a vicar sort of person.

In fact, I was wearing a Batman t-shirt!

Standing there together, I was able to pray with her and tell her that God hadn’t forgotten her. I even read her something (Psalm 139) from the little Bible I had in my bag.

I then discovered that she was Norwegian rather than Chinese (that figures, I suppose, but I don’t know what was going on there) and was on the run from an abusive man she was in a relationship with. She was desperate to speak to someone in the embassy, which was shut.

Praying that the doors would open, a limo with diplomatic plates pulled up at that very moment and a bloke who looked like Brad Pitt, wearing expensive jeans and shades (I didn’t like him much, really) swept her inside after she had explained everything to him in Norwegian. He assured her he would take care of everything, but when she asked if I could go in as well, he said: “He can’t come in, goodbye!” What a nice bloke…

But what an amazing encounter. It just goes to show that God can use even a fidget who busts out of meetings early. It also goes to show that around many corners is someone desperate to know that God is there for them and hasn’t forgotten them.

In the words of Shaw Taylor in 1960s crime show Police 5, ‘keep ’em peeled’. You never know what’s round the next corner. I Carl is married with two daughters. He heads up Christian Vision for Men (CVM) and founded Codelife. You can follow him on Twitter @carl eech and on Facebook.

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The Last Word

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