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JAN-MAR 2013 • £3

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Free to Be libertimagazine.com

BEV MURRILL In the zone

CHARLIE DAVIES After a fashion

CHARLOTTE GAMBILL Identity crisis

Pattie Mallette

TOILET TWINNING Pulling the plug on public peeing

FIVE TALENTS A trip to Tanzania KILLY JOHN SUE RINALDI HEIKE PRENTICE CATHY MADAVAN AMY BOUCHER PYE ANN-MARIE WILSON EMMA GREENWOOD

Justin Bieber’s mum reveals all Entertainment • Fashion • Health • Interviews • Movies • Shopping • Sex • Travel • TV

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www.libertimagazine.com

VOL. 9 • NO. 1 • JAN-MAR 2013

Contents FEATURES I’ll have a pee please, Bob We all ‘nip to the loo’ without giving it a second thought, but what of the millions of people across the globe who risk life and limb when they have to go? Toilet twinning is a great initiative to combat the dangers and discomfort experienced by many.

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Hands up for Tanzania!

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Laura Doulton’s trip to Tanzania with Five Talents was a real eye-opener. She saw first-hand how the microfinance charity is effecting global change from the bottom up.

Swapping her Manolos for flip flops Working as a high-profile fashion editor would be the dream job for many women, and for Charlie Davies it ticked all the boxes for a while. But when the glitz and glamour lost its sheen, Charlie decided to marry her love of fashion with her passion for the poor by setting up her own company, SAHEL design.

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A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF A SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR Female genital mutilation (FGM) affects more women than we would care to think about. Dedicated to putting a stop to it, Anne-Marie Wilson shared a week of her life with us so we can see exactly what the fight against FGM involves.

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Canadian Press/Rex Features

COLUMNS 5

UP FRONT with Bekah Legg

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MEET THE TEAM Cathy Madavan

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THE SOPHIA NETWORK with Sharon Prior

11 GREENMUM with Emma Greenwood 13 SIXTY SECOND LIFE COACH with Heike Prentice 14 FREE TO FORGIVE with Bev Murrill 25 COMPASSION with Kate Sharma 27 A SLICE OF PYE with Amy Boucher Pye 36 LIFE’S LESSONS with Charlotte Gambill 54 IN THE KNOW with Killy John 70 THE LAST WORD with Cathy Madavan

WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER’S MUM? Pattie Mallette is most famous for being Justin Bieber’s mum, but she is so much more than that. Having survived sexual abuse, drug addiction, a suicide attempt and a teenage pregnancy, she is a woman with a story to tell.

Liberti investigates.

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REGULARS 16 TOP APPS

44 BOOK CLUB

18 GADGETS

56 MUSIC

20 MOTHER’S DAY

58 FILM FOCUS

22 FITNESS

60 FINANCE

23 NUTRITION

62 WORD FROM THE WISE

Cover Picture: Cathryn Farnsworth Photography

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BEKAH LEGG

UP FRONT © Darko Komorski | Dreamstime.com

EDITOR

Bekah Legg bekah@libertimagazine.com

DEPUTY EDITOR

Joy Tibbs MARKETING & ADVERTISING

Steve Legg steve@libertimagazine.com

Duncan Williams Tel: 07960 829615

DESIGN

Andy Ashdown Design www.andyashdowndesign.co.uk

PRINT Halcyon www.halcyonline.co.uk

DISTRIBUTION COMAG CONSULTING EDITOR FOR SCM

Steve Legg © Liberti Magazine 2012 Liberti is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd. The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement.

SCM holds names and addresses on computer for the purpose of mailing in accordance with the terms registered under the Data Protection Act 1984.

Liberti is protected by copyright and nothing may be produced wholly or in part without prior permission.

CONTACT Liberti Magazine PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK Tel: 01903 732190 E-mail: bekah@libertimagazine.com

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Liberti Magazine

Knocked down he world is full of incredible women. Women who take what life throws at them and maybe even fall over under the weight of it, but who get up, dust themselves off and start again.

It’s inspiring. It’s more than inspiring – it’s hope-giving; hope-giving when the world seems a bleak place, when it seems like we’re getting battered from every side, like we never seem to get a break and that we can’t go on.

On those days it’s good to read the stories of women like Pattie Mallette and see how her life was transformed by an encounter with God that enabled her to step out of her past into an incredible future; that allowed her to leave behind a childhood of abuse to begin a life as an amazing mother.

On those days it’s good to be reminded of women like Cathy, a woman who has struggles just like mine and others beside; who also has days when it feels like she’ll never win, but who never let’s that stop her fighting.

And on those days it’s good to hear the stories of women like Lydia in Tanzania, who face a daily battle with poverty while raising six children on her own; a woman who, nevertheless, finds the tenacity and initiative to start a small business and provide an income for her family.

It’s good to know that we’re not alone when we struggle, but it’s better to know that there is hope beyond the struggle. It’s better to know that things can be different, that the valleys are

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just places we pass through on the road to the heights. These are places where we pick up bumps and bruises, for sure, but also wisdom, courage and good old-fashioned grit.

Writing this I’ve got that somewhat annoying Chumbawumba song going through my head (whatever happened to them?): “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never going to keep me down”. The lyrics lose their relevance in the next line, admittedly, but it’s not a bad set of words to have lurking in the recesses of your brain.

The original version is better still: “We are pushed hard from all sides. But we are not beaten down. We are bewildered. But that doesn’t make us lose hope.

Others make us suffer. But God does not desert us. We are knocked down. But we are not knocked out” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).

As you turn the pages of this edition of Liberti, look for the hope that lies within, gather wisdom from the women who have travelled the road before us and who have taken their hope from the God who has walked with them every step of the way. The same God who walks with you every step of the way.

And remember: knocked down you may be, but knocked out you are not.

IT’S GOOD TO ‘ KNOW THAT WE’RE NOT ALONE WHEN WE STRUGGLE. ’

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BEKAH LEGG Editor

BekahLegg

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LIBERTI LADIES

MEET THE TEAM

Cathy Madavan WHAT IS YOUR DAY JOB?

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

I wish I had a sensible answer for this! I juggle bouts of writing, speaking, fundraising, business, volunteering for church, ferrying children, running a home and slumping onto the sofa. My jobs know no boundaries between day and night.

I sing quite well, and have invested a lot of my life into learning instruments and playing music. Leading worship and working with our musicians is fantastic fun and really rewarding.

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My great-grandmother.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? Oh – cookie dough for sure, although I have recently become partial to strawberry cheesecake flavour. If possible, eaten in Italy.

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOLIDAY Somewhere with great views, interesting culture, a bit of relaxing and a total lack of the normal responsibilities and routines. So it could be Wales or Canada or Europe; it’s great to explore new places.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? The autobiographies of American politician Condaleeza Rice and hymn writer Fanny Crosby.

WHAT ARE YOU DREAMING OF AT THE MOMENT? Being able to enjoy life more and endure it less.

I need to sit back and enjoy what we are so grateful for, but often life is so busy or stressed that we miss the moment worrying about the next one! I dream of finding more peace in the midst of the mayhem!

IT IS SO ‘ INSPIRING TO

WHAT CHALLENGES ARE YOU FACING?

Well, apart from two teenage daughters and all the running around and ups and downs that entails, our main challenge is my husband Mark having lost most of his eyesight. Living with blindness is a constant challenge although, on the bright side, he can’t see my wrinkles or stretch marks! Result!

SEE PEOPLE STEPPING OUT OF THEIR COMFORT ZONES

I don’t like being afraid. I avoid scary books and even Dr Who! I tend to try and overcome everyday irrational fears like spiders and the dark, and spend my energy on things that really matter!

WHO IS YOUR HERO? I think probably Anita Roddick. She started the Body Shop and stuck to her ethical ideals but built an inspiring business empire with the express wish that it should empower and facilitate women to earn and grow in confidence – around the constraints of family life and time hurdles. I think she was an incredible pioneer.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU? People being willing to get over their own issues to do something incredible. It is so inspiring to see people stepping out of their comfort zones and being overwhelmed at how God can use them and grow them to extend blessing to others.

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TELL US ABOUT YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT Probably the time we had a film crew recording our family for a charity promotional video and the girls told the film crew that mummy cuts her fringe when she is hormonal. Thanks for the solidarity girls!

WOULD YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMP? Probably not, although I don’t like being beaten by challenges, so possibly.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO AT THE MOMENT? Rend Collective Experiment – finally my banjo and my accordion are cool again! I knew the world would eventually come around to my way of thinking!

WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN A MOVIE ABOUT YOUR LIFE? I think Meg Ryan and Sandra Bullock are funny and not always ladylike (which suits me, I think), though they would have to put on a few pounds and shrink a few inches in height!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE WRITTEN ON YOUR GRAVESTONE? She made the world a shinier place.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings every single time, without exception.

WHAT IS THE KEY TO LIVING A GODLY LIFE? So many things, including: accepting that life is not God; if life is awful sometimes, God is still good. He can use us and guide us every day and in every way and He deserves our best efforts to live a life that transforms others as He transforms us.

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SOPHIA NETWORK

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Do the honours an anticlimax, I sit and reflect on the men, women and children who have affected my life most over that year and then I write them a letter to say thank you for their input.

I think about those who have challenged me and helped me change character traits that are not honouring to God, those who have encouraged me in my leadership development and those who have inspired me by their words and actions, and then I write and tell them how much I appreciate them and what they have done for me. It is so important for us to celebrate the people both young and old who speak into our lives, but often due to our busyness we forget to do this.

So often in society and in the Church, men and women put each other down and make jokes about each other that are not helpful in building up mutual respect or showing that we honour one another.

Let’s be countercultural and decide to do something different as we come to the start of a new year.

Sophia Network wants to encourage men, women and children to be the people and leaders that God has called them to be. So let’s dwell on the things that help to build one another up and celebrate the times when working together as men and women works well rather than dwelling on the differences between us.

Who would be on your list for last year?

Who do you think has really spoken into your life and built you up, helping you to achieve your potential? Why not take time to write them a letter of thanks and appreciation to show them how much what they said or did meant to you?

What have you got to lose?

I SIT ‘ AND REFLECT

ON THE MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHO HAVE AFFECTED MY LIFE MOST.

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BY SHARON PRIOR he start of a new year is always a good time to look back to see what the past year has held for us and what we have learnt from it. It’s good to reflect on the highlights of the year gone by as well as the regrets of the things we’ve done that we should not have; and the things we have left undone which, maybe now, we feel we should have done.

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Some years ago I attended the funeral of a very dear friend. The people at the funeral said so many lovely things about her and almost all of them said they regretted not telling her what she meant to them while she was alive. I made a decision there and then that at the end of every year I would thank all the people who had impacted my life that year and tell them how they had done that.

So each year between Christmas and New Year, when the turkey has been eaten, the presents opened and everything seems a bit of

SHARON PRIOR is co-founder of the Sophia Network (www.sophianetwork.org.uk) for women in leadership, which champions the full equality of men and women in every area of life.

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EMMA GREENWOOD

greenmum

Monkey Business I TOOK MY CHILDREN TO THE ZOO TODAY. IT WAS THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. IT SEEMED THE SORT OF THING TO DO. woke up to grey sky and drizzle, which immediately dismissed my visions of wrapped-up winter picnics, and replaced them with an image of my children trudging round the zoo in the rain and peering into empty – ‘the lion’s resting inside’ – animal enclosures clad in bright blue waterproofs in a fashion not dissimilar to my memories of visits to zoos in the seventies.

I pack a bag of rolls, apples, crisps, raisins, waterproofs and hats. When I check the zoo website for directions, I’m interested to read that there is in fact a Signing Monkey workshop running today.

As a child I found zoo visits the very epitome of tedium; right up there with circuses and Holiday on Ice (sorry dad).

It’s not that I didn’t – or don’t – like animals, but not even the fact that

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Uncle Nick was a zookeeper and fed the penguins could make up for the rustling blue waterproofs, aching feet, sub-standard packed lunches and endless sea of glum-looking primates.

However, it’s not the seventies anymore and we’re in a bright new world of ‘zoo-ing’. Zoos these days are all about conservation, education and protection of endangered species rather than the making of a buck or two by degrading animals for our amusement.

Or so I’m trying to persuade myself as I walk my rustling, blue-clad children past enclosure after enclosure of gloomy wet apes, epically fed up with groups of eight-year-olds laughing at their bottoms. So this is new zoo-ing?

I ask my five-year-old for her take on things: “Do the orangutans look happy or sad, darling?”

“Sad.” “What about the gorilla?”

“Sad.” “The chimpanzees?”

“Sad.” I keep on with this until we reach a sign that says: “The apes are NOT sad. An ape ‘happy face’ has a turned down and relaxed mouth. An ape grins and bares its teeth when it is unhappy.”

And thus corrected, we move on to the Signing Monkey workshop.

Now I don’t know what you were imagining when you read this. I know what I was imagining. A monkey. A monkey doing sign language. Not a seasonal worker sweating buckets in an oversized velour fancy-dress outfit.

I’m disappointed. Although after half an hour of raucous eight-year-olds heckling from the back I actually feel relieved. I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through that, let alone an already depressed (but in denial) primate.

After the workshop, we struggle back into our blue rain protection, with enough rustling to make a real monkey ‘grin’, and follow the

I’M ‘ INTERESTED

TO READ THAT THERE IS IN FACT A SIGNING MONKEY WORKSHOP RUNNING TODAY.

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eight-year-olds out of the overheated education centre to watch the three o’clock showing of (real) elephants playing football.

The queue is round the block. The otters, pot-bellied pig and other non-sport playing animals eat their dinners in peace. Leaving me to wonder whether it’s not zoo-ing that needs to change, but us.

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EMMA GREENWOOD is an ex-highflyer business consultant, mother of two children and wife of Christian comedian and communicator Mark Greenwood. Since she abandoned the rat race, she tries to live ‘responsibly’ in the world and uses her trademark narrative writing style to encourage others to do the same. Read her blog at emmajgreenwood.blogspot.com.

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HEIKE PRENTICE

60 SECOND LIFE COACH

Finding HOPE in a hopeless place

Pizza (…and other seemingly trifling treasures) What on earth has pizza got to do with hope? I ordered a pizza the other day, but the waiter got the order wrong and brought me a totally different one. He apologised profusely and wanted to take it back, but I decided to give it a try despite some dubious toppings.

What a surprise: it was entirely delicious!

So for me, pizza stands for surprises, good food, absurd possibilities, chance encounters, small mercies, kindnesses and laughter. These momentary treasures point us to greater ones – they sometimes even lead to new beginnings – and they slowly rebuild the belief that, ultimately, despair is not endless, it is just a dark tunnel with a beginning and an end.

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Eternity

ife can be a bit of a roller coaster.

It’s great when things are looking up, but tough when you are holding on for dear life as you navigate through a downward spiral. Maybe you are tired and exhausted; a lifelong dream has been shattered, you have lost a friend, been made redundant or turned down for a job. Perhaps you believe you are not good or smart or beautiful enough and will never find a life of purpose. Maybe you are trapped by or recovering from physical, emotional or spiritual abuse.

Hope is more than optimistic desire. It is as much a necessity as the air we breathe, because to be without hope is to be in despair and darkness.

I like acronyms, and I like making up my own, especially slightly silly ones: HOPE to me means keeping your Heart Open to Pizza and Eternity.

L Heart

Hope is essentially a heart issue. It’s not a rational conclusion you can come to if you think long and hard enough, or a guaranteed outcome if you do a, b and c.

Expect eternity to break through in unexpected ways. Luke 11 contains the remarkable story of how Jesus’ friend Lazarus died, and how Jesus raised him up four days later. You could forgive Lazarus’ sisters for thinking that Jesus turned up too late, but that’s not how He saw it. He is not limited by time or space or the laws of physics, because He is eternal.

And when He speaks, eternity obliterates hopelessness. In the face of hope deferred, broken dreams and pain, Ecclesiastes 3:11 whispers to our hearts: “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.

He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end” (NLT).

God sees it all, from the beginning to the end. Jesus came to put an end to hopelessness, and if that’s where you are right now, He is looking for you.

Because hope finds those in hopeless places and takes them on a path towards eternity.

HOPE ‘ IS MORE THAN OPTIMISTIC DESIRE. ’

The Bible knows how important hope is for a healthy heart as Proverbs 13:12 so eloquently states: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life” (NLT).

Often it is not up to us whether our dreams are deferred or fulfilled, but there are some things we can do to keep our hearts healthy.

Open Keeping our hearts open is risky, but it’s essential. It might feel safer to build a wall around yours, but a closed heart means that nothing can come out and nothing can go in. Yet all despair has its cause, all sadness has a story behind it and as Maya Angelou says: “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” For new hope and life to well up, we first have to allow the hurt, anger, disappointment and confusion to leave. Find someone to tell your story to; it deserves to be heard.

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HEIKE PRENTICE is a direction and leadership development coach and a director at Christian Growth International. She likes to think through new ideas, concepts and strategies and believes it’s important to have a laugh! Heike is married to Alistair, they have a twenty-something and two teenage sons, and a Finnish Lapphund called Tiia. Heike can be contacted at coaching@heikeprentice.com.

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FREE TO FORGIVE

BEV MURRILL

How to widen your

buffer zone H

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through with someone who cares (God’s a good one for that), you can let it go and keep going.

However, if the gap is narrow, every careless comment or wrong action will pass through the thin buffer zone and repeatedly strike the heart of who you are until your heart feels so cut and

broken you feel like you can’t go on. Your soul becomes increasingly bruised as you become more and more offended and hurt, and your other relationships can be badly affected. It’s easy to default towards being defensive, fearful, angry, depressed, humiliation and bitterness until you

REALLY KNOW ‘WE ONLY WHO WE ARE WHEN WE UNDERSTAND WHOSE WE ARE. ’ © Wrangler | Dreamstime.com

ave you ever been misunderstood? Have you been a victim of someone telling their part of the story but no one asked you how it looked from your side?

Of course you have. In fact, not only has it happened to you, but you’ve done it to other people, too. None of us are exempt from being misunderstood, or from misunderstanding others. That’s because we judge ourselves by our intentions and other people by their actions.

The way we deal with negative stuff can be a pivot point in many of our relationships and a key to the way we end up living our lives.

Imagine that the person you are comprises two concentric circles: the outer line is where you meet the world; the inner circle is the real you; and the part between the outer circle and the inner circle is your buffer zone.

The everyday stuff of life means that your outer circle is going to get banged up quite a lot.

People push and shove you on the train, cut you up in traffic, cheat you, lie about you, take advantage of you and then talk about you behind your back.

Shakespeare called this “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” (Hamlet). In the Bible, King David talked about times when he felt hedged in on all sides by “strong bulls” (Psalm 22:12). It happens to all of us. We all feel the piercing of those arrows and the pressure of people and circumstances; we can’t help being affected by them but we don’t have to be overwhelmed by them.

If the gap between the outer circle and the inner circle is thick and wide, they won’t get to the heart of who you are, even if the arrows pierce deep into the buffer zone. You might come home feeling like you’ve had a bad day and need some time out or a laugh with your partner or friend, but generally when you talk it

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are unable to relate with people without struggling under the weight of rejection.

We’ve all been there, but you don’t have to stay there.

The secret is to widen that buffer zone so that even when you feel the pressure of those strong bulls, and even when you feel the sharp bite of the arrows that seem to come from nowhere and everywhere, it doesn’t get to the real you.

How do you widen your buffer zone? The answer is simple, but unfortunately there’s no magic wand. Forgiveness and repentance not only bring freedom to you; they also take on the work of building a wider buffer zone in your life. Sometimes people try to shortcut this process by hardening their hearts, but that only compounds the problem because you can’t shut down in one part of your life without it affecting all the other parts. Hardening the place where your first husband hurt you will absolutely affect your relationship with your second husband. Shutting out your false friend who keeps abusing the friendship shuts out possibilities for real and true friendships.

Part of enlarging our capacity to cope has to do with calling a halt to toxic relationships and that’s another subject, but in terms of the everyday issues we all face, it’s only as we make the deliberate choice to stop and deal with each one that we begin to heal the emotional fragility that threatens to overwhelm us and ruin our lives.

Jesus talked about forgiving seventy times seven. By that He meant that there’s no alternative to forgiveness. But contrary to popular opinion, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. If we forgot everything we ever forgave, we’d have amnesia. Forgiveness is a deliberate act that we do because we can.

The ability to forgive is one of the attributes of God; it’s His most strategic tool to bring freedom, not so much for the person you’ve forgiven, but to you! The more you practise forgiveness, the stronger you become because no one can forgive injustice without becoming a bit more like the One who gave us His power to forgive.

The second aspect of widening the buffer zone is to be able to apologise. A lot of people can’t do that, or can’t do it easily. That’s partly because of pride; we feel as though we will lose credibility and position if we acknowledge when we’re wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth in a healthy relationship. Saying sorry isn’t about cringing, having low self-esteem or being weak. It’s about being strong enough to know that your picture of yourself doesn’t come from proving how right or wrong you are, but from who you are. And we only really know who we are when we understand Whose we are.

It’s a simple message, but forgiveness and repentance are the twin gifts that God uses to enable us to walk in freedom. Storing up the junk that has been done to you does nothing but make your world smaller and darker. The more each of us walks in the way Jesus walked, which is to forgive no matter what, and the

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more we answer His call to repent and follow Him, the freer we become.

Life can get you down, and we don’t generally think about forgiving our kids or the boss when something small happens that is hurtful or that adds to the weight we are already carrying. But if you make a point of either stopping at the time or finding time later in the day to forgive and let it go, it’s like clearing the slate and the next thing that happens (and the next thing will happen) doesn’t land on top of a pile of pain; it then becomes a single thing that can be dealt with quickly.

It’s not rocket science, it’s a choice we all get to make every day and practice makes perfect. The grace of God provides us with opportunities to practise forgiveness so that we can become more like Him. Give it a go… I promise you it will be worth it in terms of the freedom that comes to you as your buffer zone expands.

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BEV is executive director of Christian Growth International, a regular conference speaker, and author of Speak Life and Shut the Hell Up, and Catalysts. As a mother and grandmother, she knows what it’s like to do the hard graft of marriage and family, and the amazing grace of God to make it work.

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HotStuff TOP APPS WITH SUE RINALDI

Bon ‘App’etit PROGRAMMES SUCH AS SATURDAY KITCHEN, MASTERCHEF, THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF AND NIGELLISSIMA HAVE TURNED UP THE HEAT ON OUR FASCINATION WITH FOOD, FLAVOURS AND RECIPES. SO LET’S TANTALISE THE TASTE BUDS AND SEE WHAT’S ON THE APP MENU… Simply Organic HD Although a few features are US-specific, don’t overlook this healthy gathering of more than 1,400 continually updated natural and organic recipes. It cooks up similar features to the other apps listed, but with a focus on great tasting and healthy food. The random recipe spinner is fun, and the tips and tricks element, which takes you to the website, is interesting.

Released free for iOS

Allrecipes – Your Kitchen Inspiration As you enter this digital kitchen there is an appealing interactive design of sliding plates!

Click on a picture and a mini-review appears with various options, providing recipe details including ingredients, cooking directions, calorie information, customer reviews and sharing via email, Facebook or Twitter.

The search facility will allow you to access more than 45,000 recipes by course, cooking method or prep time. For a small price the upgrade includes recipes for occasions such as Valentine’s Day plus vegetarian selections and the opportunity to sync shopping lists to iPhone. Definitely one for the top oven!

Released free for iPad – pro upgrade £2.99

Allrecipes.com Dinner Spinner The smartphone version can search recipes by dish, cooking time, ingredient, vegetarian option, gluten-free or other diet filters. You can even shake your phone for surprise ideas!

Your phone also becomes a scanner so you can scan any ingredient for related recipes and add it to your shopping list!

Released free for Android and iOS (with scanner) and Windows and Kindle Fire (without scanner)

BBC Good Food – Recipes, Tools & Cooking Tips The free ‘Classic Collection’ has a small selection of recipes along with plenty of information concerning method, cooking time, ingredients and nutritional data. You can set your preference according to metric or imperial, save your favourites, choose items for your shopping list and share via social networking.

Other cookbooks, ranging from ‘Healthy’ to ‘Cake’ to ‘Seasonal’, require an in-app purchase.

Even though the number of recipes native to this app is minimal compared with others, additional features of a timer, converter and cooking tips make this a worthwhile resource.

Released free for iOS and Android

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TOP APPS

Kitchen Aid Kit Pro This app is artistic, fun and full of gastronomic pleasure. It offers beakers to measure products, calorie data, a virtual handbook, a vintage fridge interface for storage knowledge and a cooker with five hobs, timer and alert functions and a comprehensive converter. It is superbly appealing to the playful chef and knowing a cup of blackcurrants has fewer calories than a cup of blueberries could prove very valuable!

Released at £1.49 for iPad (lite version available free)

Epicurious What a fresh-looking layout from this awardwinning food site. Search food and drinks from more than 30,000 recipes from renowned chefs and cookbooks by main ingredient, cuisine, dietary considerations, season or course. Save them as favourites and share them via social networking or, for a small price, sync them with your recipe box. The geography of this app is intuitive and attractive, and as you look at your chosen recipe, you can save the

ingredients to your shopping list and email that list. Recipes contain nutritional facts and reviews.

The control panel is amazingly extensive and even has an ‘I Can Barely Cook’ category – although you may prefer the Decadent Desserts! Excellent…

Released free for iOS, Android, Windows and Kindle Fire

Sweet ‘N’ Spicy These spice-tastic recipes cover a huge selection of categories and regional cuisines with step-by-step instructions, an ingredient list, calorie info, reviews and even video lessons! There are also handy tips, for example: mix cinnamon powder with water and apply paste to your forehead to relieve a headache or dip your hands in milk to avoid chilli burn!

Apart from the brilliant recipes – around 5,000 of them – there are some great additional features. ‘My Kitchen’ allows you to drag ingredients onto a pinboard to create your own dish; there’s a question section with FAQs

where you can also post your own; and there is the opportunity to join the ‘Sweet ‘N’ Spicy’ community forum. Chilli paneer, here I come!

Released free for iOS, Android and Windows

SOURCED AND STUDIED BY APP-HAPPY SUE RINALDI

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HotStuff GADGETS WITH SUE RINALDI

Gizmos and Gastronomy HAVING DOWNLOADED THE RECIPE APPS ON PAGES 16-17, HERE ARE A FEW IDEAS TO UPGRADE YOUR KITCHEN HARDWARE…

iGrill Grilling/Cooking Thermometer Your Apple or Android device turns into your personal sous chef with this Bluetooth-enabled, standalone thermometer. The probe measures the temperature of your food as it heats (with a range of 4-204oC) and alerts you when ready – genius! The free app shows cooking time, stores standard recipes and can monitor two cooking probes. It also has an easy-to-clean interface and projection display. www.store.apple.com £74.95

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GADGETS

Onion Goggles (pink or white) A modern answer to an age-old problem…we love cooking onions but hate peeling them. These comfortable, foam-sealed goggles will protect the eyes from irritating vapours and provide tear-free chopping. They are anti-fog and unisex design. Perfect… and maybe they could double up as ski goggles too? www.amazon.co.uk, around £11.00

Vileda ViRobi Remember the days of cleaning the kitchen floor by hand… your hand? Well, those days are over if you adopt the robotic approach and allow ViRobi to shuffle around the floor (wood, lino and slate) picking up dust with an electrostatic cleaning pad.

It automatically detects walls and objects, cleans under furniture, navigates edges, uses rechargeable batteries and is easy to maintain and clean. What’s not to like about that? www.ebay.co.uk, around €40

SUE RINALDI travels internationally as a concert artist, worship co-ordinator, speaker and creative consultant. A selfconfessed info junkie and movie enthusiast, her interest in culture, justice, technology and the future fuels her living and writing (www.suerinaldi.net).

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Love You Mum plaque £9 This wood-type print will spell out loud and clear just what you think of your mum! www.fromthewilde.com

Mum’s the word WE OWE OUR MUMS A DEBT OF GRATITUDE SO HERE ARE A FEW WAYS TO SPOIL YOURS THIS MOTHER’S DAY. IF YOU’RE A MUM YOURSELF, FEEL FREE TO LEAVE THIS SPREAD LYING OPEN ON THE COFFEE TABLE. THEY PROBABLY WON’T GET THE HINT, BUT IT’S WORTH A TRY. Personalised family tree £27 These personalised family tree canvases are created to order. Individual family members have their own branch and personalised tag, and the colours can be tailored to your room’s colour scheme. www.giftwrappedandgorgeous.co.uk

Cup and saucer £9.95 Why not wake your mum up with a cup of tea served in this fabulous teacup set? It will be something to remind her of you every time she sits down for a nice cuppa. www.dotcomgiftshop.com

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MOTHER’S DAY

Wall Plaque £5.95 This funky little sign will prove to mum that you were listening despite all the years of rolling your eyes and grumbling when she asked you to tidy your room. www.dotcomgiftshop.com

Camellia japonica £37.50 Dear Mum: From You to Me £11.95 This book comprises more than 60 questions for your mum to answer. It’s a fantastic way to get to know her as she reflects on her memories, her feelings and her motivations. The impact of this present will go on and on.

This evergreen Camellia bears wonderful pink or red sculptured flowers in March, so it’s perfect for Mother’s Day. In the language of flowers, the sentiment of the Camellia is: “I shall love you always”. www.treesdirect.co.uk

www.prezzybox.com

Carved picture from £80 Create your own unique pieces of wall art from a photograph! Carved Dots is a unique, highcontrast style that combines the traditional with the contemporary, with more than 8,000 individual dots carved into FSC-certified board, resulting in a stunning piece of bespoke wall art.

Liberti readers can save 15% on any order by using the discount code ‘liberti’. www.picturate.co.uk

Mum aprons: £18.95 Treat your mum to one of these handmade, personalised, vintage-inspired aprons. www.cobwebknits.co.uk

Dragonfly earrings £22 Handcrafted from fine silver in remote Northern Thailand within a community of Karen Hill Tribe silversmiths, these fairly traded, dragonfly earrings are so light on the ears, your mum will hardly know she’s wearing them. www.lunatreejewellery.co.uk

Backdoor shoes £20 These superlight, waterproof shoes are perfect for keeping by the back door, and they’re pretty cute too! www.backdoorshoes.co.uk

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WellBeing FITNESS WITH GAYNOR BURTON

A New Definition of Fitness THE DEFINITION OF FITNESS USED TO BE: “THE ABILITY TO CARRY OUT DAILY TASKS EASILY AND WITHOUT BECOMING FATIGUED”.

B • • • • • • •

Cardiovascular disease Some forms of cancer Back problems Obesity Type 2 diabetes Osteoporosis Mental health problems

And we should also be able to react to a lifethreatening situation, such as running away from a burning building, rescuing someone who is drowning, and so on.

So how can you improve your fitness to ensure that you are fit under this new definition? There are five main areas:

Stamina By increasing our stamina levels we can make our hearts and lungs work more effectively by delivering oxygen more quickly to the areas of our bodies that need it.

Any kind of aerobic activity where you sweat and become breathless is good for your stamina levels.

Flexibility Flexibility is important in order to provide a good range of movement for your required tasks and to prevent injury. Muscles should be warmed up properly before being stretched. However, being flexible beyond your needs isn’t advised as it can cause weakness around your joints.

Dynamic and static stretching help to improve your flexibility.

Strength A muscle will only strengthen when it is worked beyond its normal operation (overload).

Overloading can be achieved when you:

• • • •

INCREASE the weight that you are carrying INCREASE the number of repetitions INCREASE the number of sets DECREASE the recovery time in between

Using weights, machines and resistance bands or carrying heavy loads will improve strength at any age.

Core strength Core strength supports your spine so that the burden of your body weight isn’t just placed on your bones. It also helps with balance and stability and makes you more effective in every other fitness area.

The core is actually made up of three sheaths of muscles: the upper abs; the side muscles, known as the obliques; and a very deep layer of

muscle. These deep muscles are the ones that support your spine and act as a natural corset.

Doing Pilates, the plank and exercises using Swiss balls are all good for core strength.

Speed Speed also covers the area of power, the ability to make explosive movements with agility, and being able to react quickly.

These are often seen as areas reserved for athletes in specific sports, but improving speed can help to progress stamina and cardiovascular fitness to the next level for anyone and to improve overall fitness.

Interval training, sprinting and plyometrics (exercises that allow the muscles to exert the highest amount of force in the shortest possible time) are common forms of speed training.

•

GAYNOR BURTON is the founder and director of Fitfish (www.fit-fish.co.uk), a Christian fitness company that offers fitness weekends, weeks abroad, personal training, nutrition advice and more. With a background in event management, specialising in mass participation outdoor sporting events, ski instructing and advanced level personal training and nutrition advice, Gaynor is passionate about motivating others to reach their goals in a physical, spiritual and emotional capacity. © Andres Rodriguez | Dreamstime.com

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© Aleksandr Markin | Dreamstime.com

ut since the invention of modern technology, this has become super easy for most of the human population. We get up, get in car, sit at desk, get in car, sit on sofa.

Brilliant, it’s not even tiring at all.

We must all be really fit!

So a more accurate description would be: “The body’s ability to function efficiently and effectively in work and leisure activities; to be healthy; to resist hypokinetic diseases; and to meet emergency situations”.

This means that what we do to our bodies helps us to meet our daily demands, BUT that we also have the best chance possible of resisting diseases brought on by a sedentary lifestyle, such as:

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WellBeing NUTRITION WITH CAROLINE GERRIE

Memory matters e’ve all done it… walked into a room and forgotten what we went in there for, forgotten an important birthday, or, like me, taken your children to the village shops, started to walk home, then suddenly thought, ‘Didn’t I have a buggy with a third child in it?’, tearing back to the shop at a speed that would impress Mo Farah with two other children secured to my hands and flapping wildly like flags behind me, then finding said buggy with ‘blonde, curlyhaired sticky thing’ still asleep inside the shop.

Don’t gasp… it happens!

While we all have scatterbrain moments, it’s really important to ensure we look after our little grey cells and boost our memories as much as possible. Foods such as salmon and mackerel, which are rich in essential fatty acids, are a great way to feed those little grey phospholipid cells within the brain. Dark leafy greens such as spinach and chard help to nourish our bodies with folic acid, which also helps with memory function.

Foods containing vitamins B6, B12, C and E act together to improve synapse formation within the brain. Not only are vitamins essential in memory and brain health, but ‘flavonoids’ are also thought to help in promoting long-term memory. These compounds appear in many health-related issues and there is a lot of talk in the media and health magazines about flavonoids and antioxidants, which can be confusing. So what exactly are they?

Simply put, a flavonoid is a natural, plantbased compound that helps our bodies to fight

W

inflammation. It can also function as an antioxidant. An antioxidant is a compound found naturally in many foods (although it can be supplemented if need be) that helps to protect our bodies’ cells from damage, rather like a shield.

A recent study published in Neurology looked at the functions of flavonoids, and suggested that flavonoids help neurons to grow and connect and support long-term memory. So to help boost our memory function, eating a flavonoid-rich diet that includes berries, green tea, turmeric and, yes, red wine may significantly cut the risk of developing Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.

Flavanols have also been shown to reduce the build-up of a protein called amyloid-beta, which is a hallmark of Alzheimer’s disease.

Evidence for the positive effects of these simple plant chemicals has been overwhelming.

Although not conclusive, research still points to the fact that consuming a plant-based diet, rich in flavonoids, can extend lifespan and certainly improve the quality of our lives by protecting the mind and body from degenerative diseases.

I love the gap of in-between time, with the whirlwind of Christmas behind us and the excitement of a new year stretching out ahead like unchartered waters! This space can be an ideal opportunity for taking time out to consider and refocus our vision for the year ahead. What are our goals for 2013? What do we want to achieve this coming year? Do unhealthy habits need ditching? Because now is a good time to face and address them. Will you be eating smartly for a healthier you in 2013?

FLAVONOIDS ‘HELP NEURONS

TO GROW AND CONNECT AND HELP TO SUPPORT LONG-TERM MEMORY

Foods that contain the super-six flavonoids Flavonols Onion Leeks Broccoli

Flavones Parsley Celery

Isoflavones Soya Soya milk Soya products

Flavanones Citrus fruits Tomatoes

Flavanols Green tea Red wine Chocolate

Anthocynidians Red wine Berry fruits Plums

’

•

CAROLINE GERRIE is a fully registered nutritional therapist and has a degree in health promotion. As well as writing about health issues in magazines, she works as a nutritionist for an organic food company.

Caroline is available for private consultations and gives presentations at corporate level. She is married to David and they have three children.

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COMPASSION

CHANGING LIVES

Dream on!

BY KATE SHARMA, COMPASSION UK

few years ago I was the perfect parent. I had all the answers to toddler tantrums, sibling rivalry and problem sleepers. Supernanny had nothing on me.

Then I had kids of my own, the reality of parenthood set in and I quickly realised that being a mum is flippin’ hard work. As I have cried, despaired and exhaustedly dragged myself through the first few years of parenthood I have developed an immense respect for any woman who finds herself embarking on motherhood alone.

I have particular regard for women in some of the world’s poorest countries who are raising children alone when they can’t even afford food. What strikes me about these mums is that, in spite of their situations, they continue to hope for a life beyond the poverty they endure day-in, day-out. They are selfless and tireless in their mission to give their kids hope and a future. This Mother’s Day, Compassion seeks to stand alongside these remarkable women and help them realise the dreams they have for their kids.

In a remote part of northern Rwanda, a young woman called Philomena is raising four children by herself following the death of her husband.

She has no regular income, no family to support her and no way of providing for her kids.

A

“Since the death of my husband, I started experiencing the worst of poverty; without anything to eat, clothes or shelter,” she says with tears in her eyes. When our children hurt, we hurt twice as much and I can’t bear to imagine the pain Philomena felt each night as she tucked her children under a ragged blanket on a cold earth floor and listened as they cried themselves to sleep with hunger.

Thankfully, it wasn’t just Philomena who heard the cries of her children. Her local church began a partnership with Compassion in 2005 to open the Kabaya Student Centre. Philomena’s plight immediately caught their attention and they registered her oldest child Adele as a Compassionsponsored child. This marked a new start, not just for Adele, but for the whole family.

“When my child was registered in the project in 2005, it marked the beginning of hope for the future,” Philomena explains, with a warm smile. “I have benefited a lot. In fact, Compassion is the reason why I am still alive. I can now see my children becoming responsible members of the community.”

Compassion takes care of the children’s medical needs, enables them to attend school and has helped the family find a better home.

Philomena has even been able to learn tailoring skills to earn a living.

The positive change in Philomena’s story is one that Compassion, with the help of

I QUICKLY ‘ REALISED THAT

BEING A MUM IS FLIPPIN’ HARD WORK.

’

sponsors across the world, seeks to provide for more mothers and children every single day.

Compassion sponsorship won’t solve all of a family’s problems but, as Philomena can testify, it eases the burden on a mother and gives her the opportunity to realise her hopes and dreams for her children.

“You have become an answer to our suffering,” says Philomena. “It takes God’s grace for one to help another without even knowing them.”

Being a mum will always be hard work, but sponsorship has helped put the battles I face into perspective. It’s an incredible privilege to know that through my sponsorship I can help ease the burden for a mum whose daily struggles are far more critical than mine will ever be.

Could you sponsor a child for just £21 a month and change a mother’s world this Mother’s Day?

•

Compassion is an international Christian child development and child advocacy ministry. Partnering with local churches, it is committed to the spiritual, economic, social and physical development of children living in extreme poverty in 26 countries, enabling them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.Visit www.compassionuk.org or call 01932 836490 for more information.

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AMY BOUCHER PYE

A SLICE OF PYE

A matter of life and death just read a suicide note… Having seen plenty of movies, I was expecting drama or at least a nice piece of paper. But this was just a torn scrap with a few words jotted down.

The writer was matterof-fact in his note to my friend, saying that his girls needed money, as did his ex-wife; that he couldn’t take it anymore; and that his neighbour had a key. Desperation and depression, fuelled by a chemical imbalance after years of drug abuse, resulted in a tragic overdose.

Except that my friend received his letter in the afternoon rather than the evening, as she was off work for medical reasons. They went to his flat, broke down the door, and found him drugged but alive. She wondered if he’d be angry to be found alive. He wasn’t; in fact, he later thanked her for caring – a first for him. He said he had written to her because he didn’t want his body to be found covered in flies after a week.

This woman was the same friend who a couple of months earlier had been told by an acquaintance (a doctor) to: “Get that mark on your face checked out”. He was the second medical friend who had noticed it, which propelled her into actually making an appointment with her GP instead of delaying or brushing off the advice.

She found out that she had pre-cancerous cells and underwent treatment. A few weeks later she heard that this young doctor had died on a

I

WHO ‘ IS SITTING ON

’

hiking adventure after falling into a ravine. His potentially life-saving advice to her turned out to be one of his final acts of service on this earth.

Two men I’ve never met, and yet they made a profound impact on me. Why? Because I can easily get caught up in projects or tasks, so startling stories such as these remind me to value what really is important.

For instance, just this morning I woke up early. Finally admitting I wasn’t going to fall back to sleep, I gave in and went into my study to start this column. But my son also woke early and joined me, eager for us to just to sit and spend some time together. I battled internally but stayed with him on the couch, reminding myself to enjoy these sweet moments together.

I wish I could say that it was a grand success of communion with my beloved son, but

throughout our half-hour together I kept thinking of the tasks I could and should be accomplishing. But although I didn’t succeed in shutting down the distracting thoughts, at least I stayed rooted to the couch, sitting with him and chatting together. I didn’t shoo him away or give him some early iPad time so I could get on with my next thing. Small victories, yes, but worth celebrating.

Life. It’s worth living. Who is sitting on your couch today to whom you can be present and enjoy?

© Levranii | Dreamstime.com

© Candybox Images | Dreamstime.com

YOUR COUCH TODAY TO WHOM YOU CAN BE PRESENT AND ENJOY?

•

AMY BOUCHER PYE is a writer, editor and speaker, living with her family in a lovely but draughty Victorian vicarage in north London. She enjoys a clean house, checking things off lists… oh yes, and of course spending time with the ones she loves.

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TOILET TWINNING

I’ll have a pee please, Bob

BY LOUISE THOMAS hen Paula Radcliffe publicly answered a call of nature during the 2005 London Marathon, she described it as an “embarrassing necessity”. Her win allowed The Sun to sport the headline “Easy peesy for Paula”.

At my primary school, some of the toilets had curtains rather than proper doors. We would balance precariously on the loo while leaning forward to try – somewhat unsuccessfully – to pin the curtain tightly shut at each side. The fear of ‘being seen’ loomed large.

Modesty about our bathroom behaviour is nothing new. Diarist Samuel Pepys discovered his friend Lady Sandwich relieving herself in his dining room. “She was doing something upon the pott,” he recorded in April 1664. In an embarrassed attempt to cover the moment, the pair “fell to some discourse, but without pleasure”.

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TOILET TWINNING

In our Western world, these experiences are thankfully few and far between. But for around 40% of the world’s population, the daily act of defecation is always painfully public. Fields, streams, railway lines, plastic bags and diseasebreeding buckets act as lavatories for many.

What’s more, women and girls are hit hardest.

Picture squatting down in the grass to relieve yourself and getting bitten by a snake. Or missing out on your education during your period because the school has no loo or only provides unisex facilities. Or worse, fearing rape when relieving yourself in the open, under cover of darkness.

Mariama Mambu from Sierra Leone points out the health hazard of faeces lying around near food preparation areas: “Before we had latrines, we used to go to the toilet in the bush very close to the village, and flies would land on our food, carrying disease. When my child was sick with diarrhoea, there was no money to take her to the nearest health centre. But thank God, she survived it.”

Of course, clean, private toilets are only one element in the sanitation pot. World Water Day on March 22 also highlights clean drinking

water and hygiene education.

In many communities, women are the watercollectors, often spending hours each day journeying to the water source. On a visit to Tanzania, I had a go at fetching water. I was shown how to wind a cloth round my hand to make a cushion between the bucket and my head, but negotiating the uneven path home is tricky when you aren’t able to look down. And although I only did one short journey, my neck ached!

A study in rural South Africa shows women and girls are carrying an average of almost 20kg of water each. Imagine walking barefoot up a steep, stony path – perhaps feeling weak from hunger or untreated illness – with 20 litre bottles of water on your head. Spinal pain is often the result.

Even more shockingly, half the developing world’s hospital beds are occupied by patients with diseases that are linked to poor water and sanitation. And the heartbreaking reality is that if a mother dies her baby is ten times more likely to die before his or her second birthday.

But teaching people to wash their hands with soap is the most cost-effective health intervention available. That’s got to be a quick win. And it’s the sort of education you can help

provide through Toilet Twinning, along with clean water and improved sanitation.

Why not mark World Water Day by twinning your toilet? It’s a great way to help flush away poverty, and you’ll receive a framed certificate with the exact location of your twinned latrine, so you can look it up online. And you can take comfort from the fact that more women in some of the world’s poorest countries will discover that having a pee really can be ‘easy peesy’.

•

Visit www.toilettwinning.org for further details and to twin a toilet at home, school, church or at work.

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FIVE TALENTS

Hands up for

Tanzania!

BY LAURA DOULTON

y heart stirred as we flew over the small corrugated rooftops of Dar es Salaam.

This was my first trip back to Africa since leaving my childhood home of South Africa, and here I was, about to land in Tanzania at the beginning of a an incredible journey.

I was one of a small group of people with an interest in microfinance, visiting a project supporting women in business. We were led by Tom Sanderson, the leader of UK-based microfinance charity Five Talents; a pioneering Anglican Church initiative to help establish, develop and support microfinance projects in several developing countries.

Another small plane and a bumpy car ride later and we finally arrived at our destination, the small northern town of Iringa. We were

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scheduled to meet a group of women demonstrating amazing determination to overcome the tidal force of poverty and hardship that otherwise threatens to consume them. It was great to see that hope and dignity have been restored to a whole community through small loans of as little as £20! This is living proof that giving a ‘hand up’ rather than a ‘handout’ can transform lives forever.

On the first morning of our stay, we had the privilege of meeting Donald Mtetemela, the humble and prayerful man who first started the project when he was Archbishop of Tanzania.

It began in 2006 when he was out walking in the town and came across a banana seller, Mama Bahati. He had been calling out to God for some time, asking for ways in which the desperate poverty and despair he saw all around him could be addressed. Mama Bahati was forced to buy bananas each day on credit from another market trader and she barely made enough to

cover her costs and feed her family. The archbishop heard her story and asked her what he could do for her that would change her situation and really make a difference.

Her reply was simple, and yet her entrepreneurial spirit has inspired a chain of events that is now transforming the lives of thousands of women living in that region. “If you would lend me enough money to buy the bananas outright, I will be able to make a profit and grow my business,” she said. The bishop agreed, and from his own money gave her a loan of just £5, which enabled her to buy a stock of bananas and expand her business as well as paying back the loan!

This simple process worked so well that the Mama Bahati Foundation (MBF) was founded.

It began to help other local women break out of the poverty trap through small-scale loans and business training.

One year later, the Archbishop contacted

Donald Mtetemela

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Lydia, a widow, in her small kitchen.

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FIVE TALENTS

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Salome in her little shop.

Five Talents, who came on board to raise funding, create a business plan and lend their expertise to those working on the ground.

Following our meeting with the bishop, we were taken to MBF’s small office base on the outskirts of town. My first thought when we walked in was that it resembled a bank with little kiosks and a small seating area. Of course, there are no banks in this remote part of Tanzania, so it was amazing to see such a place and meet the project’s manager, Immaculate; a warm yet businesslike Tanzanian lady, who is dedicated to working alongside the women served by MBF. The project may look like a bank on the surface, with female clients receiving loans when they have a good business idea and strategy, but that is where the similarity ends. It was incredibly refreshing to see and visit many of these clients out in the town and not only to see their businesses thriving, but also to witness the special relationship that has developed between them and Immaculate.

We drove along bumpy dirt tracks on our way to meet Salome who, as one of MBF’s first clients, is running a thriving little grocery shop.

Greeted along the way by inquisitive children, we soon found ourselves in a busy part of the town where the road was lined on either side by small vegetable and fruit stalls. I was amazed to see that each stall seemed to be selling exactly the same produce! Immaculate explained that with no business training, this was the problem, whereas MBF’s clients received business training to diversify their businesses and therefore attract more customers.

Salome was a great example of this. Her little shop was a sheltered structure with two rooms and a countertop that separated her from her customers (a novelty on this particular road!).

As we approached, she greeted us proudly and was visibly pleased to see Immaculate; there was a real warmth between them. Lined up on the shelves behind her were an array of different and useful items to entice her customers: matches, string, cooking oil and cigarettes as well as sugar, rice, pulses and flour.

Immaculate interpreted for us and we listened as Salome explained how MBF had helped her develop a very simple stall into a shop that had recently expanded into a second room. She was

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Our team with Donald Mtetemela, former Archbishop of Tanzania (third from the right), Tom Sanderson, UK director at Five Talents (second from the left) and me (far right). now on her third loan cycle and was very happy with the support she had received and the impact it has had on her family life.

MBF lends exclusively to women. This was a decision made by its founders, as they wanted to help address the marginalisation of women in Tanzania. By loaning funds exclusively to females in family-run businesses, the woman automatically plays a management role in the business. And in a part of Africa where men often have more than one wife, the policy ensures that the woman can directly benefit her own children with the increased family income.

In fact, 70% of MBF clients said they expect their business to support their families in paying school fees for their children.

We continued on our journey to meet another client, Lydia. A widow with six children, she had used her MBF loan to set herself up as a baker. I was quite shocked to see how primitive her kitchen was: an exposed structure in the garden with a small grate on the floor on which she could bake the little ‘bites’ she made to sell in the market. But with the money from MBF she was able to buy charcoal for the fire and the baking ingredients, and the difference was that she was now able to feed her entire family, whereas before they had all been going hungry!

It was incredibly moving to see this woman living in such a basic way and being so thankful about it. She was on her first loan cycle and it was good to know that with further help from MBF and the local team, who will encourage her, she stands a good chance of improving the family’s lifestyle and enabling the children to attend school.

Many women in this situation are isolated and working incredibly hard to look after children as well as bringing income into the home. This is why MBF encourages its clients to form accountability groups and look out for each other. Each woman who applies for a loan is first required to be part of a loan group, where all members are jointly responsible for the repayment of each individual loan. This policy not only ensures that each woman is supported, but it explains why MBF had repayment rates of over 97% in the first few years.

Each client we met had her own story and a business that was enabling her to break out of desperate poverty. There was Mary, a café owner serving hot food to university students; Magreth, a grandmother who had bought two cows to help her look after grandchildren; and an orphaned girl of 15, Agnes, who had kindly been taken in by another family but was able to

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FIVE TALENTS

Agnes, who was orphaned but taken in by another family. She contributes to the household income by baking and selling cakes.

Magreth, a grandmother who bought two cows to support her grandchildren.

Mary the café owner.

support herself and contribute to the household by making cakes to sell in the market.

Some of the clients we met were still struggling with very difficult issues that go hand in hand with living in such a poor country, such as illness and being victims of crime and even jealousy. It was very reassuring, however, to see them supported by Immaculate and the MBF staff.

MBF differs greatly from other microfinance organisations, not only because it provides business skills training and social support, but also because it reaches out to poorer and more rural clients when many other microfinance initiatives stick with ‘easier’ clients. Five Talents

strong biblical principles upon which it has been founded, the support of Five Talents and Immaculate’s strong leadership. Immaculate’s ever-growing team (now 15) now has more than 3,200 women on its books, with £157,000 currently on loan at an average of just £50 per client. Repayment rates are currently at an incredible 92%.

These businesses not only have the potential to help individual families; they may also employ other community members, so in fact more than 15,000 people in the wider community can benefit in one way or another each year.

The bishop, who has now retired but still sits on the board of MBF, told us that his prayers for change were inspired by Psalm 113:7-9: “He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap, He seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.”

The wonderful truth is that, through MBF, women in the Iringa region have not only been able to use their entrepreneurial talents to grow their own businesses and lift their households out of the dust; they have also received dignity and respect from the wider community as a result. What an answer to prayer!

calls this microfinance for the marginalised, and MBF has adapted it to accommodate clients in isolated areas around Iringa.

Immaculate has always been determined to reach more rural areas, but she has to balance the costs of serving remote clients with the drive for sustainability. “We believe that the best way to serve those who are financially excluded in Tanzania is to become a sustainable organisation,” she says. An incredible 70% of its operating costs are met by the interest on the loans, and this is largely thanks to UK donors who have enabled MBF to achieve such a strong position.

The progress made by MBF since my first visit to the present day is testament to the

CLIENT WE MET HAD HER OWN ‘EACH STORY AND A BUSINESS THAT WAS ENABLING HER TO BREAK OUT OF DESPERATE POVERTY. ’

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CHARLOTTE GAMBILL

LIFE’S LESSONS

Who am I? ho am I? is an unspoken question we all struggle with from time to time in our minds as we navigate the different circumstances and seasons in our lives. Just when we think we know who we are, our situations change, relationships alter and we realise yet again that we have allowed people and things to identify who we are. But your identity is not in what you do or where you are; it is in ‘whose’ you are.

When I was single, my identity was based around my career and relationships. Then I had a new badge called wife and then mother. But I had to realise that I am not defined by a label. I had to embrace a journey that would remove comparisons and pressures and come to the conclusion that I would have to find out who God has made me to be.

Do you remember the story of Jacob? His name literally meant deceiver and his pushy mother caused him to strive after his brother’s inheritance.

Never content with where he was or who he was, he wore disguises, lied and eventually had to flee from his home.

Jacob’s life can act as a picture of our own identity struggles. I have met people who spend all their time dancing around to other people’s tunes; those played by their peers and families.

Jacob lived a life forcing things, trying to be who he was never called to be. But one day he separated from all the other voices and realised: “Surely the presence of God is here and I was not aware of it” (Genesis 28:16).

Is that where you are living? So aware of others that you can’t hear the one who created you? He isn’t labelling you, He is loving you as you are; longing for you to find all the things He has placed in you. You don’t need to worry, you are His and all that He made you to be is still to be discovered.

I love how Jacob’s story unfolds, because after his separation comes a life lesson. As he serves

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Laban who was himself a ‘deceiver’, he realises that this is not who he is; that he does not fit the name he has been given. He begins to rebuild his life and discovers he is a hard worker, a faithful servant, a loving husband and a reliable manager. He had always had this potential, but under others’ labels he never found out who he was made to be.

One night as he is about to return to see his family, there is a wrestle that takes place and it all centres around a question God wants to ask him. God asks: “What is your name?” and he answers “Jacob”. But God says: “Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it’s Israel; you’ve wrestled with God and you’ve come through” (Genesis 32:2728). God renamed Jacob in accordance with his true identity.

So I urge you my friend to find your own identity. It is a journey we must all make if we really want to find out who we are in Him. Jacob gained a limp from his wrestle that day and this gave him his own unique walk.

Maybe it is time for you to embrace your own wrestle; a wrestle that will remove all labels and rename you in accordance with your destiny. It may be uncomfortable, but the unique walk it will give you will be more than worth it!

WHEN ‘ I WAS SINGLE,

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MY IDENTITY WAS BASED AROUND MY CAREER AND RELATIONSHIPS.

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CHARLOTTE is part of the leadership at Abundant Life Church. She has a consuming zeal for God’s House and is committed to unlocking the potential in God’s people through her love for the Word. She and her husband Steve have two children: Hope and Noah.

To find out more, check out: @CharlGambill, www.CharlotteGambill.com and www.CherishConference.com.

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BEAUTY FROM ASHES

PATTIE MALLETTE

What’s so special about Justin Bieber’s mum?

BY JOY TIBBS

Hitting rock bottom

was recently offered an interview with Justin Bieber’s mum. This had two immediate effects on me: the first was that I found myself singing that delightful “Baby” song in my head and have been trying to shift it ever since.

And I’ll be honest about the second reaction, too. Rather than jumping to a conclusion about her, I positively leapt to one… I mean, what on the earth could the mother of this teenage singing sensation have to say that could be of any real interest to me or the magazine?

I did what we all do in situations like this and googled her, expecting to find a couple of pictures of her and Justin prancing down a red carpet or two, but nothing of any real substance. I soon discovered I was wrong.

It turns out Pattie Mallette has penned a bestseller and that she is using her first-hand experience of child abuse, addiction and teenage pregnancy to help others. She even has her own Wikipedia page! My views on this rather beautiful young woman were starting to change.

We decided that her story might in fact be of great interest and her agent swiftly shipped me a copy of her book, Nowhere but Up, which I had about two hours to read before the interview kicked off. I got started right away and was instantly moved by Pattie’s story and by the frank, honest way she told it.

This is a woman who has been through a lot.

Her father – a violent alcoholic – left the family home when she was just two and by the age of five she had been molested for the first time.

This became a regular experience for the young girl, who was regularly abused by two men until she was 14. “My childhood was full of abandonment, sexual abuse, loneliness and a lot of pain,” Pattie tells me.

She writes in the book: “I was sexually violated so many times that as the years went by it began to feel normal. It’s a strange marriage – knowing something is wrong yet at the same time finding it familiar and commonplace.”

Family life was extremely difficult for the Mallette family. Although she wasn’t aware of it for some years, Pattie’s sister Sally had died at the age of five, not long before Pattie was born.

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The impact on her brother, who was there when Sally got hit by the car that killed her and blamed himself for her death, and on her mother placed an unavoidable strain on the family; albeit one that was never discussed.

It wasn’t long before her mother remarried and Pattie gained two step-siblings. Although this wasn’t an unwelcome development in itself, family life was far from normal and as a child she often felt alone, despite being surrounded by others.

The young Canadian struggled with depression and relied on narcotics to ease the pain. She found herself stealing, vandalising school property, sleeping around and even trying to commit suicide. “I was definitely looking for love, and with drugs and alcohol it was more about numbing the pain. I wanted to escape the unresolved pain in my life. I was not close to my parents and I had no one to talk to about things as a child,” Pattie reveals.

MY CHILDHOOD WAS FULL OF “ABANDONMENT, SEXUAL ABUSE, LONELINESS AND A LOT OF PAIN. ”

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Pattie Mallette

BEAUTY FROM ASHES

I WAS SCARED, IT WAS TRAUMATISING “ FOR ME. I WAS NOT SURE HOW TO LOOK AFTER MYSELF LET ALONE A BABY. ” Like a rose

A new life or two So that was that; there was an instant happy ending for the troubled teen. Well not exactly.

Pattie left hospital and around six months later

found herself back on the party scene. It wasn’t long before she fell pregnant with Justin and found herself frightened and alone once again.

Her on-off, abusive relationship with childhood sweetheart Jeremy ended and he disappeared from her life for several years.

“I was scared, it was traumatising for me. I was not sure how to look after myself let alone a baby,” Pattie says. She spent a large chunk of the nine months in a pregnancy home in London, Ontario, that was specially designed to support teenage mums-to-be.

Pattie describes her early experience of faith as a “messy journey”. She had recommitted her life to God and knew she needed to come back to Him; that she couldn’t do everything on her own anymore.

She wanted to be able to stand before God without feeling guilty about the way she was living. She had started going to church and recalls how the people there welcomed her with open arms. They encouraged her to get things back on track and made a “huge impact” on her life.

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The failed suicide attempt when she was 17 landed Pattie in hospital, and while she was there she met a man who did and said some rather peculiar things. “I had a man come in who ran the local youth centre,” she explains. “He came in and brought a rose and he said ‘God told me to bring you this rose; this is how he sees you.’”

As a five-year-old, Pattie had attended Sunday School with a friend. Asked by the teacher if anyone wanted to accept Jesus, she had been keen to raise her hand. But because none of her family or friends were Christians, she didn’t really know what she had signed up to or what had taken place. A seed had been planted, but it wasn’t until this low point that her interest in God was rekindled.

But initially Pattie wasn’t convinced by what the man was saying. First of all, she had convinced herself God didn’t exist, and second she was pretty sure He wouldn’t see her that way if He was real and knew everything about her. After all, she was a petty thief, a drug user

and someone of decidedly questionable morals.

Surely God couldn’t love her?

This man didn’t give up, though; he kept coming to see her. Sometimes he brought food with him and every time he would tell Pattie that God deeply cared about her. Pattie remembers crying out to God at this point, asking Him to reveal Himself to her if He was really out there. “When you hit rock bottom, there’s no other way but up,” she says.

Suddenly she saw a picture of every sin she had ever committed. “I felt incredibly dirty,” she recalls. But then she saw a picture of her heart opening and sparkle dust being poured in.

There was so much of it that no speck of sin could fit in any more. “It closed and turned bright white like I had been cleansed, and I started to weep,” Pattie tells me.

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BEAUTY FROM ASHES

TO USE MY VOICE; I HAVE A VOICE “I GET THAT I DIDN’T HAVE WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. I WANT TO GIVE OTHERS A VOICE WHO DON’T HAVE ONE. ” Pattie Mallette

Giving something back And now Pattie is making a difference in other people’s lives. Through speaking at events and writing her book, she hopes to encourage those who have been through difficult times to get back on their feet. She is also in the process of setting up her own charity, the Nowhere But Up Foundation. Some of the profits from the book will be used to fund the charity, which will help to support single-parent homes, drug addiction and pregnancy centres and to offer counselling to those that need it but can’t afford to pay for it themselves.

This is where being Justin Bieber’s mum comes in handy. Having felt like a nobody growing up, her son’s notoriety has given her a platform from which she can reach out to people in similar situations. She now has more than a million followers on Twitter, many of whom refer to her themselves as “mom”. “I feel like a mother to them,” says Pattie. “I get to use

my voice; I have a voice that I didn’t have when I was growing up. I want to give others a voice who don’t have one.”

But although Justin’s fame has helped, it is Pattie’s honesty and likeability that has given her the global reach she now has. I can pretty much guarantee that her story will move you; not only because of the subject matter, but because writing it down took guts and must have been painful to do.

And because instead of sitting around feeling sorry for herself she is determined to use her terrible experiences to give hope to those who have been through similar things. “It’s a raw, real, honest journey of my struggles and my faith and I think everyone can relate to that. I’m not putting on my Sunday face and hiding,” says Pattie.

I finished by asking what advice she would give people who were experiencing tough times.

“I would say don’t give up, that God is faithful even when it doesn’t look like it,” she responds.

I’ll never just think of Pattie as “Justin Bieber’s mum” again. I now feel ashamed that I more or less wrote her off before I even knew anything about her. She is brave, engaging and inspiring in equal measure and, if you’ll excuse the pun, I will endeavour never to judge a book by its cover again.

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Entertainment BOOK CLUB WITH BEKAH LEGG

TOP NEW BOOK

A Year of Biblical Womanhood

BY RACHEL HELD EVANS (THOMAS NELSON: 2012)

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Written by 30-something evangelical writer and feminist Rachel Held Evans, A Year of Biblical Womanhood has been causing

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somewhat of a stir on both sides of the Atlantic.

The book sees Held Evans take on a different biblical virtue each month for a year – from

modesty to purity to silence, justice and submission. By following some of the Bible’s descriptions of womanhood, she finds herself calling her husband Dan ‘master’, covering her head, being silent in church and camping in a tent outside her house during her period.

It’s laugh-out-loud funny at times; particularly her interactions with her yearlong-suffering husband. And there are some sad moments, because life – with all its real troubles – doesn’t stop while Held Evans works on her project.

It’s clear that she chooses to follow some of the ideas of biblical womanhood hyperliterally. I don’t think she really thinks the Old Testament calls on “contentious women” to pay penance by sitting out on their rooftops alone.

Many commentators – a lot of whom have not actually read the book – have slammed Held Evans, as if she is some backsliding defector of the faith, trying to take down the Church from the inside with her strident feminism.

But I don’t think that’s the writer’s intention.

The rooftops, the tents, the head coverings and the Martha Stewart Cooking School marathon are symbolic. Like the project as a whole, they are clearly gimmicks; tongue-in-cheek explorations, which, along the way, give rise to some profound truths; to deeper understandings of the concept and place of ritual, particularly within the Jewish tradition; of friendship and life and community and marriage and love.

I think what Rachel Held Evans is getting at is this: she gets what it’s like to grapple with what it is to be both a follower of Christ and female. And she’s actually trying to bring the rest of the sisterhood on a journey deeper in love with the Bible and with God, rather than all the guff that surrounds our reading of it and our relationship with Him. Chine Mbubaegbu, editor at the Evangelical Alliance.

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BOOK CLUB

Now What?

BY CHARLOTTE GAMBILL (BELIEVES BOOKS PUBLISHING: 2012) People who can speak and write well are a rare breed. Charlotte Gambill is one of them. Anyone who has heard Charlotte preach knows that she communicates with passion and clarity, and none of that is lost when she sits

Forbidden (Lipstick Confessions)

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down to write.

Now what? seeks to help people navigate the moments we all meet at some stage in life; the times when the unexpected happens and we literally don’t know what to do next. Charlotte shares her own experiences with honesty and applies biblical truths to practical problems.

This is a book that will strengthen and encourage as you face the harder days life brings.

The Butterfly Train

BY SUE MILLS (NEW WINE PRESS, 2012)

BY GP TAYLOR AND CLAIRE WRIGHT (AUTHENTIC PUBLISHING: 2012)

We would love you to be part of Book Club If there is a book that you have read that you would like to recommend please sum it up in 75 words and let us know at bookclub@libertimagazine.com. We can’t print them all, but we will read them all enthusiastically!

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This book sees the story of David and Bathsheba reset in the modern day, which means that, for those of us familiar with the original tale, there are no surprises. The change of culture, however, does help to make the story more relevant – raising questions of morality and examining the consequences to our daily decisions.

The possible downside of the time change is the plausibility of the character’s decisions in today’s world of women’s liberation. That said, it’s a well-written, easy-to-read book that is great for a lazy afternoon in front of the fire.

The Butterfly Train is the compelling true story of a young woman’s journey to fight the terrible damage caused to her by others and her involvement with drugs as a teenager. Sue shares her story with honesty and candour, inviting you to witness her mistakes and her struggles and to see the way that God met her in her pain.

This is a book for anyone who has battled with hopelessness and despair as Sue shows that God really can redeem any situation.

BEKAH is editor of Liberti magazine and programme director of Liberti Life, a local schools work project that seeks to empower and equip young people through workshops and mentoring. She is kept on her toes at home by six fabulous children and a husband who occasionally dices with death by singing The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow when she’s feeling overwhelmed.

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE

ANN-MARIE WILSON

social entrepreneur

A week in the life of a

BY HOLLY POULTER nn-Marie Wilson started her career in the corporate world having completed a degree in Business. She married young to a man for whom she converted to Judaism, but he soon became abusive towards her. When her

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mother died, she became depressed and her husband left her‌ all of this in her twenties.

At 30 she decided to start over and set up her own business. But her compassionate nature quickly led her to volunteering, which is when her life really changed.

While volunteering in North Sudan in 2005, she met an 11-year-old girl who had become pregnant after being raped and, having

previously been subjected to female genital mutilation (FGM), she needed a caesarean to give birth safely.

Since meeting this girl, Ann-Marie has spent six years studying and volunteering in 14 countries. She found her calling and felt convicted to establish anti-FGM charity 28 Too Many. FGM is a painful and dangerous traditional practice that alters female genitalia,

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE and it affects up to 140 million women across 28 African countries. It has been practised for more than 2,000 years.

Here’s a week in the life of Ann-Marie.

Monday A busy ‘admin’ day ahead, not unusual for a Monday! Better load up on the caffeine.

Our work at 28 Too Many means a lot of travel to African countries that still practise female genital mutilation. We send our staff there to work with local groups of traditional cultures and teach them about the harmful effects of FGM. It can be an emotional and overwhelming time when you first hear the stories and immerse yourself in a new culture, which is why my first task of the day is to brief my colleague Jo for her upcoming trip to Tanzania.

I talk her through some of the issues she might face, how to make sure she is safe at all times. I know that, for me, being a white Christian in many African countries makes me a target for elimination – which sounds pretty heavy, but it’s a very real danger when you’re talking about a taboo subject like FGM. In some countries you can’t even mention the words, so we have to be very careful about how we work in each country.

After an hour on Skype with her, I check some more emails while the kettle boils for my next caffeine boost.

In the afternoon, I get a surprise phone call from a Christian doctor I met while volunteering on the medical team at the Olympics last year. He wants me to speak about our work at his church in a few weeks’ time. I try to stifle my excitement about another opportunity to speak (it’s one of my favourite parts of the job) and reply with a professional “Yes, I’ll check my diary”.

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IT CAN BE AN EMOTIONAL AND ‘ OVERWHELMING TIME WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR THE STORIES AND IMMERSE YOURSELF IN A NEW CULTURE. ’ After a full day of replying to emails and checking in with staff and volunteers on Skype, I can finally take a break to watch an episode of Downton Abbey on catch up; my guilty pleasure.

I can’t get enough of that dashing Mr Crawley!

Tuesday I get a phone call first thing from a woman who wants to run a quiz night to raise some money for our work. What a brilliant way to start the day! I chat with her for a while about how we can help her.

I finally get round to a Skype call with my website designer, who is transforming our current website with more resources, photos and videos to make it easier for people to understand what we do and why it’s so important to fight against FGM in Africa and here in the UK. I’m so excited about seeing the finished product!

Over lunch I listen to The Archers, and soon realise I’m turning into my mother.

Tuesday is social media day, which means I’ll spend the day planning content to go out on our social networks. It’s great to be able to engage with people on such an important issue using Twitter and Facebook, where conversation is so encouraged. It’s such an easy way to get the news out.

Afternoon is board meeting time. As chair of the board for 28 Too Many, I oversee three trustees who manage things like the risk profile of the countries we work in and assess what we can and can’t do to make sure our staff are always safe, and to ensure best practice wherever we are.

To work off some of the stress of the day, I head off to Zumba class!

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RUNNING HEAD

Wednesday Finally, a day out of the house for some exciting meetings!

This morning I head over to the Home Office to work with them and give our advice on the prospective health passports they want to introduce, which mean that girls and women who travel ‘home’ will be able to prove FGM is illegal in the UK, that it carries a sentence of 12 years in prison, and that it can’t happen abroad to UK citizens.

It’s often thought that FGM is an atrocity that occurs far away from our own schools and our own children in the UK; in deepest, darkest Africa. But the reality couldn’t be more different.

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OFTEN THOUGHT THAT FGM IS AN ‘IT’SATROCITY THAT OCCURS FAR AWAY FROM OUR OWN SCHOOLS AND OUR OWN CHILDREN IN THE UK. ’ So it’s a real honour to work with them on such an important step in eradicating FGM in both the UK and in Africa. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

I head over to the Southbank Centre for lunch and to get some research done. I love coming here on my days in town; it’s a great place for people-watching when I’ve had my head down too long.

The last meeting of the day is with Lynne Featherstone, Minister for International Development. I have been lobbying her lately about the importance of tackling FGM across Africa and our potential role at the Commission on the Status of Women Conference next year in New York.

Exhausted, I’m home in time for a cup of tea and One Born Every Minute – I’ve delivered a few babies in my time, so I find the show really interesting. It was in North Sudan a few years ago that I met an 11-yearold girl who had been raped and had given birth. Because she’d had FGM performed on her she would have died in labour if she hadn’t had a caesarean. Meeting her was such a pivotal moment in my life, and it was because of this that I eventually started 28 Too Many to make sure girls like her didn’t have to suffer anymore.

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Thursday My daily Bible reading today takes me to 1 Peter 4: “Do it with the strength God provides”; a particularly poignant passage for me at such a busy time in my life. As I start to hand over my consultancy practice and go full time into running 28 Too many, life can seem overwhelming at times. It comforts me to know that it is not in my strength but His that I am getting by day to day.

I start on the prep for a church talk I’m giving on Sunday. I’ll talk about how the local church is the best agent for long-term development, and that it is our duty to speak out for the vulnerable, especially on sensitive topics like FGM. I always get a great response from these kinds of talks, with lots of people coming up to me afterwards and asking how they can get involved, so it’s a key part of my work.

When I’ve got enough notes down, I take a break to write to my sponsored child in Rwanda, Akimana. I started sponsoring her eight years ago and she’s now 15. It’s been so rewarding watching her grow up. She loves hearing about the work I am doing for girls like her all around Africa.

Tonight it’s belly dancing. I took this up because it’s a good way to keep exercising and a class helps me keep up with my fitness commitment!

Friday Since last year, I have been a part of Tearfund’s Inspired Individuals Initiative, which seeks to identify, support and resource ‘social entrepreneurs’ all over the world who are working to make the world a better place. Being an Inspired Individual has meant that my work to eradicate FGM in Africa has gone from strength to strength. Having a network of support behind you from an organisation with as much expertise as Tearfund has been invaluable! So today I head up to their offices in Teddington to chat to the team about our plans for the UN’s International Women’s Day in March; it’s a great time to talk about FGM, which is not often on the agenda.

In the afternoon, I rush back into London for an interview with a Sky channel about the prevalence of FGM in refugee communities in the UK, and what we’re doing about it. It’s a thrill getting opportunities like this, and it’s such a great platform to get the issue talked about!

But, my goodness, it’s scary being on camera…

Saturday Today I’m excited to be going to an a capella event. I love singing, and it’s hard to find time to fit it into a busy schedule week by week. So this kind of all-day event is fantastic! Hopefully I won’t have a tough time speaking at church tomorrow.

When I get home I start planning for my ‘18month birthday’. I turned 50 last year, but I’m not one for big parties. Instead I decided to

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LOVELY TO BE AT CHURCH ‘IT’S AT THE END OF A FULL WEEK AS I CAN ALWAYS LAY MY WORRIES AT THE CROSS AND FEEL REFRESHED FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE.

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declare that my birthday was to span an entire 18 months, and challenged myself to visit 100 of my friends and family before November 2013 to take a photo and eat some cake with them. I hope to end my extended birthday celebrations in Australia visiting friends, including the youngest of my eight godchildren.

I catch up on some work after dinner by reading some new research. I stop at midnight when I realise I’ve read the same page three times and fall into bed.

Sunday After making some last-minute tweaks to my talk, I head over to a local church to give a talk

about 28 Too Many and FGM, and thankfully my voice holds up after my allday singing session. There are lots of lively discussions afterwards with people who want to know how they can get involved. It’s lovely to be at church at the end of a full week as I can always lay my worries at the cross and feel refreshed for the next challenge.

One pub lunch later, I round off the week with a walk accompanied by my friend Joanne and her dogs, and contemplate yet another busy week ahead – always in His strength, not mine!

•

To find out more about Ann-Marie and 28 Too Many, visit www.28toomany.org.

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KILLY JOHN

IN THE KNOW

Love is in the air… alentine’s Day – how do you feel about it? It is the loneliest time of year for many and can accentuate disappointment and marital breakdown. But if we look at the possible origins, it is actually a celebration of sacrificial love; a far cry from the red roses, cuddly toys and chocolates of today!

Valentine was reputedly a priest during the rule of Emperor Claudius II (who had the nickname Claudius the Cruel, because he was very cruel!). Claudius was having difficulty filling the Roman army, so he decided to ban all engagements and weddings throughout the Roman Empire. Valentine didn’t agree with this so he secretly married the couples and was eventually caught, thrown in jail and sentenced to death.

The story goes that while Valentine was in prison, he healed the young daughter of a prison guard from blindness. She continued to visit him and on the day he died he wrote her a card telling her to remain faithful to God and signed it: “From your Valentine”. He was executed on February 14 AD269.

The details of the story reveal how kindness and compassion – which eventually led to death – are what Saint Valentine was about, and this makes me stop and think: are we celebrating the wrong type of love on Valentine’s Day? Perhaps at this time of year we are as confused as the little girl who, when asked by her teacher what she thought love was, replied: “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy takes a shower and they go out and smell each other!”

We all want to love and be loved, but our human endeavours fall far short of ideal love.

We are conditional in our love; how we feel, how we are treated and the type of day we have all affect how we respond to those around us.

Compare our feeble attempts to love with God’s love for us. The Bible states; “This is real love – not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins” (1 John 4:10, NLT).

V

ARE WE ‘ CELEBRATING

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God, the creator of love, loved us so much that He did something for us. We don’t have to earn His love and we can’t buy His love; He just freely offers it to us. Wow! What a Valentine’s gift for each of us.

When we are connected to God through Jesus Christ, we have his divine love working in us. In the Bible we read that this love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonour others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

As we allow God’s love to work in our lives,

we will find that we are able to love when our circumstances could dictate otherwise. When we live our lives in the knowledge of how much God loves us, he is able to use us to shine his love into a hurting world, just by how we relate to people in our families and communities. That truly is good news.

Happy Valentine’s!

•

KILLY JOHN is the wife of J.John and mother to three grown-up sons; Michael, Simeon and Benjamin.

She has a background in the hospitality industry, which she continues to enjoy giving and receiving!

Now her sons have grown, she is enjoying travelling more with her husband and working locally at the Philo Trust offices. Killy enjoys coffee shops, cooking, reading and walking.

© Donnarae | Dreamstime.com

THE WRONG TYPE OF LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY?

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aspinallfoundation.org

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Entertainment MUSIC WITH SUE RINALDI

Decked out Jo Hamilton Gown If ever there was a musical equivalent to Heston Blumenthal, then Jo Hamilton is it! In the same way that Blumenthal provides multi-sensory dining with a scientific twist, and where food locates a memory and encourages a deep interaction, this singer-songwriter and multiinstrumentalist, born in the wilds of northern Scotland, creates a musical cuisine with the same essential ingredients of innovation, participation and passion.

“I wanted to make a doorway to step through into what we can celebrate in the world. Our lives are varied emotional landscapes and that is reflected in the record. Someone said that the overall effect of Gown for them is that it jogs their memory, it reminds them of who they are and what they have to look forward to,” she told pennyblackmusic.co.uk.

With family roots in both Kenya and Jamaica, and a globetrotting childhood spent moving around the Middle East, Cambodia and Sri Lanka, it is no wonder Hamilton’s music has such a global flavour. Gamelan, Appalachian Dulcimer and Finnish linguistic ramblings, and songs about the Mekong River mix together to shape her world.

“There It Is” transmits enough warmth to fend off any chill as her voice glides us to hope; “Deeper” reaches a celestial summit that sings glorious; and “All In Adoration”, a celebration of ‘soulmateship’, serves up a funk-soul fusion. In “Liatach”, the squeak of the piano pedal amid an intimate verse gives way to a monumental chorus comparing a loved one with a Scottish mountain, and the lilting “Think Of Me” is like stepping into a shower of blessing.

Hamilton’s voice is versatile and enthralling and her songs are visual and melodic; a sonic sketchbook of imagination, personal anecdote and evidence of deep calling to deep. Also, by working with the pioneering AirPiano – a non-contact virtual piano – she has become one of the most influential female artists in music technology.

Gown is not fast-food, it’s a full-on gourmet experience.

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Mumford & Sons Babel Following up on their brilliant, Grammywinning debut album Sigh No More of 2009, Mumford & Sons are back with a new collection of stirring, emotive, folkedged, heart-thumping songs that will call your ears to immediate attention! As soon as you enter the gates of Babel, you realise that M&S (not the much-loved store, by the way) are staying true to their acoustic roots with a canvas of sound that has put the banjo back onto the must-have list of musical instruments!

According to reports, several songs were recorded live and you get the sense of a band well-travelled and in perfect sync as you listen

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to the mood and energy they create. A driving and relentless acoustic guitar unveils Babel, with Mumford spilling out words on a trajectory worthy of a supersonic jet!

The Tower of Babel is a powerful story of human determination, pride and ultimately discontent, and maybe M&S are imagining the futility of building anything away and apart from God. The pace continues through “Whispers In The Dark” and into the single “I Will Wait”, which is almost prodigal son-esque and possesses fire-warm harmonies and a memorable, sing-a-long chorus!

“Ghosts That We Knew” is a banjo-trickle of a beautiful song, where Mumford sings with poignancy: “Give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light”; “Lovers’ Eyes” wrestles with relational torment; and “Hopeless Wanderer” holds a more positive position as it weaves into prog-folk territory, giving a foretaste, perhaps,

of the stylistic things to come; as does the baroque flavour of “Broken Crown”, which is full of biblical imagery and provocation to fill hours of discussion about its meaning.

Personal favourites “Below My Feet” and “Not With Haste” read like prayers from the threshing floor: “Let me learn from where I have been, keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn” and “Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste, As it keeps my heart and soul in its place, And I will love with urgency, But not with haste”.

Babel is not a feel-good skip through the park. Instead, it’s a robust climb over mountains and down valleys accompanied by music of vibrancy and valour; consistently loaded with biblical imagery and God-fearing lyrics, yet never over-obvious or lofty in its message. They aspired to make an album that was “more exposed, more naked” and, without a doubt, they have succeeded.

The XX Coexist Having made their mark on the UK music scene in 2009 with their debut self-titled album, this follow-up from The xx has been highly anticipated and Coexist does not disappoint. In fact, it has reinforced the band’s position as a major contributor to the indie-pop genre.

Shared vocals, minimal sound, design and beats, cavernous space and atmosphere all coexist very nicely together to form an environment bordering on the fragile without being weak or vacuous. The two lead voices complement one another well with shades of Everything but the Girl meets Mark Knopfler.

More backdrop ambiance than intense focus, it’s a really good, gentle listen… but 37 minutes playing time is a bit short! They do have their own app though.

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Entertainment FILM FOCUS WITH SOPHIE LISTER

Saving grace

CINEMA REVIEW A PICK OF THE MOST PROMISING SPRING RELEASES

FILM FOCUS

Les Misérables Over its 25-year run, this beloved show has captivated audiences across the world. Is it the elaborate staging and costumes? Or maybe the stirring songs, which include Susan Boyle’s hit “I Dreamed a Dream”? There’s undeniably something about Les Misérables that speaks to people across barriers of language and culture.

And now the musical is coming to the big screen, helmed by director of The King’s Speech, Tom Hooper.

The story, adapted from Victor Hugo’s sprawling 19th-century novel, may already be familiar. Parisian convict Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman), embittered after years of unfair imprisonment, is finally released on parole under the watchful eye of police officer Javert (Russell Crowe). His first act as a free man is to steal the silver belonging to a kindly bishop (Colm Wilkinson), whose gracious response will change Valjean forever. Finding God and a fresh beginning in life, he breaks parole and disappears from under Javert’s nose.

Many years later, under a new name and in a position of authority, he crosses paths with an impoverished woman named Fantine (Anne Hathaway). Forced into prostitution by her circumstances, she begs Valjean to

care for her little girl Cosette (Isabelle Allen/Amanda Seyfried). Father and adoptive daughter later become swept up in the events of the 1832 revolution, Cosette falling in love with student fighter Marius (Eddie Redmayne), and Valjean struggling with the burden of his past. Years might have passed and France might be changing, but the dogged Inspector Javert is still on his tail.

It’s a story laden with compassion for the world’s oppressed: the ‘miserable poor’ referenced in its title. The main characters are convicts and prostitutes, street urchins and factory workers, the downtrodden and the dispossessed. When the novel was first published, Victor Hugo’s identification with these misérables caused great controversy.

Even now, the musical remains a wake-up call to ‘look down’ at the sufferings of the oppressed in our own society.

But more than that, it asks us to look inwards and examine the state of our hearts.

It may look as though law-enforcer Javert is living righteously, toeing the line and even calling on God’s help in his quest to hunt down the errant Valjean. “Those who falter and those who fall”, he sings in his missionstatement song “Stars”, “must pay the price”.

But in obsessing about justice and his own moral standing, he misses out on God’s defining qualities: His mercy and His grace.

It’s Valjean who truly experiences divine power in his life. Forgiven when he’s behaved unforgivably, lifted up when he was at rock bottom, he knows what it means to receive undeserved love. Grace transforms him into an entirely different kind of man, and touches everyone he comes into contact with: Fantine, Cosette, Marius, and even Javert, to whom it’s a terrifying, alien idea.

Les Misérables is a parable of grace both on a large and an intimate scale, and perhaps the key to its appeal lies here. The story has endured, and has spoken so powerfully to so many because it addresses the very deepest need of the human heart.

Release date: January 11 Free resources for churches and community groups on Les Misérables can be found at www.damaris.org/lesmis.

The Impossible (12A) The whole world was shaken in 2004 by the news of a devastating tsunami in Thailand. Of the stories that emerged in the aftermath, many were tragic, but a few seemed too miraculous to be true.

One such story was that of a Spanish couple – played here by Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts – who were holidaying with their children when the tsunami hit. Separated by the waters, they found a way to survive and began the seemingly impossible search for each other.

This is a harrowing but hopeful glimpse behind the real-life headlines.

Release date: January 2

Smashed Many of us like a drink now and then. But for Kate (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), drinking is a way of life – and the consequences are catching up with her. This acclaimed ‘indie’ follows the young alcoholic’s attempts to get sober without much support from her equally intoxicated husband Charlie (Aaron Paul). Part black comedy, part painfully honest drama, the film strips back the layers to show us a deeply vulnerable woman. The subject matter might be challenging, but Winstead makes it difficult to look away.

Release date: January 22

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FILM FOCUS

Song for Marion (PG)

Flight (15) There’s another alcoholic at the centre of Flight.

Denzel Washington plays Whip Whitaker, an airline pilot with a weakness for drink and drugs.

But when he manages to save a crashing plane from disaster by steering into an expert landing, his skills and vices come under the spotlight. Part twisty thriller, part character study, the film has been hailed as the kind of grown-up entertainment ‘they’ just don’t make any more. It’s also a welcome return to form for director Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future, Cast Away), combining thrills with real emotional depth.

Vanessa Redgrave positively glows in this story about an OAP choir, which starts out as a gentle comedy and becomes a tender portrait of the marriage between Marion (Redgrave) and her grumpy husband Arthur (Terrence Stamp). She loves singing, but when she falls ill it’s up to Arthur to ditch the misanthropy and find his own voice. The film captures their long-standing relationship with a real ring of truth, and the performances will melt the hardest heart.

Release date: February 22

Release date: February 1

A PICK OF THE MOST PROMISING SPRING RELEASES

If you missed director Joe Wright’s stunning theatrical take on the literary classic, make sure you catch it on DVD. The central romance itself may lack spark, but Keira Knightley gives it her all as the notorious heroine, and she’s ably supported by Matthew Macfadyen and Domnhall Gleeson. The production is also a visual knockout, and it doesn’t skimp on Tolstoy’s thoughtful exploration of true love. Should we just follow our own desires whatever the cost, or does ‘love’ include a moral and even spiritual dimension?

If it’s your mind you’re looking to exercise, you won’t do better than Cloud Atlas; an adaptation of David Mitchell’s ‘unfilmable’ novel. The Wachowski siblings (the brains behind The Matrix) have teamed up with director Tom Twyker for this ambitious odyssey, which explores reincarnation and the cosmic repercussions of our actions. Tom Hanks and Halle Berry are among the stars gamely attempting multiple roles – watch out too for an unexpected turn from Hugh Grant as a cannibal king. The film has sharply divided critics, and whether you love it or hate it, it’s bound to be one of the year’s cinematic talking points.

Release date: February 22

DVD REVIEW

Anna Karenina (12)

Cloud Atlas (15)

social outcast with a supernatural talent.

When a witch’s curse looks set to destroy his hometown, Norman must confront an ‘undead menace’, as well as his own insecurities and the past sins of the town’s founders. It’s dark stuff, but ultimately offers a touching message about overcoming prejudice and fear.

McVeigh (Riseborough) caught between political and personal loyalties. Clive Owen is the MI5 agent tasked with protecting her when she agrees to become an informant, but it’s not long before he finds himself out of his depth.

This is a tense and complex tale that isn’t afraid to ask the hard questions.

Looper (15)

Shadow Dancer (15)

ParaNorman (PG)

Although time travel hasn’t yet been invented, it’s part of life for Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt).

He’s a Looper, a specialist assassin who disposes of targets sent back in time by the mob. He’s content just to enjoy the perks of the job; until his target becomes his own older self (Bruce Willis). It might all sound confusing, but director Rian Johnson keeps things surprisingly straightforward. Violent, clever and visceral, Looper isn’t always an easy watch, but it’s arguably sci-fi done just right.

English actress Andrea Riseborough is a star in the making, and she’s front and centre of this provocative thriller. Set in nineties Belfast, the film finds IRA member Colette

Last autumn saw the release of several spooky cartoons, but this was the best of the bunch.

Too scary for any but the bravest children, the story follows Norman (Kodi Smitt-McPhee), a

SOPHIE LISTER is a researcher and writer for The Damaris Trust (www.damaris.org).

For more articles and study guides on films see culturewatch.org and toolsfortalks.com.

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Finance MONEY MATTERS WITH JOY TIBBS

Green is the new gold for energy consumers © Frederick Sneddon | Dreamstime.com

According to Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, the UK is: • The world leader in offshore wind (our total installed capacity is as much as the rest of the world’s put together) • One of the biggest players in marine and tidal energy • The sixth-largest market in low carbon and environmental goods So we should be in a good position to protect the environment by taking advantage of the renewable energy sources we have at our fingertips and cutting back on unnecessary usage.

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Make pay while the sun shines Installing solar panels can cut energy bills, reduce your carbon footprint and enable you to sell electricity back to the grid if you produce more electricity than you need. It’s a particularly good idea if you are around in the daytime and are able to use the free energy produced during the ‘sunniest’ part of the day.

If you can afford the initial outlay to have them installed, you could benefit from the government’s feed-in tariff (FIT), which issues

cash payments to households who produce their own electricity using renewable technologies such as solar panels or wind turbines.

If you can’t afford the upfront costs but want to make the change, you have two main options: take out a loan, or opt for a ‘rent-a-roof ’ scheme. The latter means a company will lease your roof for 25 years and take charge of installing and maintaining the solar panels on it.

They take care of the upfront costs and you benefit from the free electricity produced by the system.

The downside, however, is that the rent-aroof company will make the biggest bucks out

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FINANCE © Roman Milert | Dreamstime.com

of the deal. Although you can still make substantial savings over the 25-year period, you could miss out on the real benefits offered by the FIT. If you don’t want to give this up, taking out a loan to help with the installation costs could save you more in the long run.

You gotta insulate to accumulate It may sound obvious, but the less energy you use, the cheaper your energy bills will be and the less impact you will have on the planet. A good way to reduce energy consumption is to add loft and cavity wall insulation to your home. Under the government’s Carbon Emissions Reduction Target (Cert) scheme, gas and electricity companies have emissions targets to meet, and helping customers to get insulation fitted is a good way for them to meet these targets.

To do this, some offer free or discounted insulation. Around 1.6 million cavity walls and two million lofts have been professionally insulated using Cert funding since it was introduced and, according to Which?, you could save up to £175 a year on your heating bills by insulating your loft, up to £135 a year by insulating cavity walls and up to £475 a year by insulating solid walls. Several companies, including British Gas and EDF, are offering free insulation to customers who meet the relevant criteria.

Cut the carbon

room and switching appliances off at the wall rather than leaving them on standby. Energysaving light bulbs last up to ten times longer than standard bulbs and can save you up to £45 over their lifetime.

Check out the competition Finally, it’s worth checking out whether your existing energy supplier offers any incentives to help you go green. Could your gas and electricity provider help you to cut costs and reduce your environmental footprint? If not, it might be worth switching to one that can.

Doing your bit for the planet may be simpler than you think and could provide some muchneeded ‘cavity insulation’ for your wallet too.

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JOY is a freelance editor and journalist covering everything from fashion to finance. She is an active member of Carmel City Church in Bristol. Joy has just written her first novel, a fantasy-style children’s book. Her aim in all that she does is to champion the gospel in a clear and relevant way.

Jan-Mar 2013 Liberti

© Innershadows | Dreamstime.com

© Designpicssub | Dreamstime.com

The latest available data from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) points out that electrical appliances such as white goods, lighting, televisions, and heating and cooling systems contribute

significantly to the UK’s CO2 emissions.

Around one-third of our greenhouse gas emissions result from the use of these products in our homes and businesses.

Removing or reducing our reliance on these goods, it says, will cut emissions, reduce energy consumption and make our bills cheaper. The figures show that by introducing simple ecofriendly measures – such as replacing energyguzzling appliances with more efficient alternatives – UK consumers could be £26 billion better off between 2009 and 2030. That’s a pretty tempting prospect!

Then there are the super simple ways to save, such as turning off lights when you leave a

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WORD FROM THE

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S

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Sponsored by LibertiDating.com – bringing you genuine Christian dating

Boyfriends, boobies and babies

M

I know you say you are willing to take the risk for yourself, but what about your daughter? If you were to be hospitalised during your pregnancy, what would this mean for her?

If there were long-term effects for you or the baby, how would that affect family life? You and your husband need to honestly discuss all the possible outcomes and both be happy with the final decision. A very possible option for you to have another child would be to consider adoption. There are around 4,000 children across the UK that need to be adopted every year; you and your family could be a real gift to a child. Visit www.baaf.org.uk for more information.

JC

There’s faith and then there’s being sensible. Somewhere in the middle is the balanced approach. I’m not normally a “what if?“ person who focuses on the problems but, in this case, what if disaster struck and your daughter was left without a mum and your husband a wife? Perhaps a second opinion might be worth getting on the medical issue.

Then maybe a straight-down-the-line presentation of the risks may help to clarify the matter? I think the bottom line is that your primary responsibility is to those in your family now, so please do listen carefully to your husband’s concerns and those of the doctor.

CB

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How very difficult for you both. It is so natural for you to want another child ‘at all costs’. It is also natural for your husband not to want to risk your life for another child he doesn’t yet know and who he may end up having to bring up on his own. I wonder if you have both been able to see it each other’s way.

You say you are “willing to take the risk” and AG

that your husband thinks you are being selfish. You don’t say what you think he is being! Maybe thinking about his motives in this would help you to weigh the situation up more clearly. In any disagreement, the key is to be honest with each other and to try to see the argument from the other person’s point of view. © Kurhan | Dreamstime.com

y husband and I are at loggerheads at the moment.

We have a beautiful daughter aged three and I am ready and really rather desperate to have another child, but my husband says no. He’s not just being contrary, it’s because the doctors have recommended that I don’t have more children due to an underlying health problem that I have.

Pregnancy would put a lot of pressure on my kidney transplant.

I’m willing to take the risk – I think it’s worth it – but my husband thinks I’m being selfish.

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such a separation, then both of you may want to consider a more lasting commitment.

Ok, a few questions: can you take a career break, leaving the option open to return? Is the relationship on a marriage trajectory? Just how committed are you to each other? Is he prepared to not go because of his love for you? I once turned down the opportunity to study in Paris because I loved my wife, so where is he at? It seems like you have some talking to do. I have to say though… if it were me when I was younger, I would have gone for it. After all, nothing ever happens to people who don’t have a go, right?

© Nyul | Dreamstime.com

CB

y boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and he has just been given a work transfer to America. He’s asked me to go with him, to get a job of my own there. Part of me wants to go (I do love him), but part of me is afraid that if things don’t work out between us, I will have sacrificed my career here. I’d ask him to stay here, but that seems too big a thing to ask.

I don’t know what to do.

M

The fact that you are able to express a concern that things might not ‘work out’ between you suggests that you already have your doubts. What to do? How about having a heartto-heart talk on where your boyfriend thinks the relationship is going. Also, why not tell him: “I need six months to think about this” and let him go to the States. If the relationship survives JJ

It’s a lovely idea to go to America with your boyfriend and get another job there, but he must know that you can’t just walk into any old job in the US. It’s not very real of your boyfriend! The US has very strict criteria for workers and jobs for foreigners, work permits, green cards etc. If you were married you would be able to go with your husband and potentially get a job, it would be a very different scenario. I wonder if he has thought that through. It may be that he isn’t thinking or that he wants out and this is an easy way to get you to make up your mind. I think it’s time for a good long look at your future.

AG

’m considering having a boob job.

I’ve had three children and, quite frankly, I’m not what I used to be.

Things in the bedroom have gone really quiet and I’m afraid that I now disgust my husband. I’ve always thought cosmetic surgery a vain and frivolous thing for people with too much money, but I want my husband to look at me the way he used to.

I

Sadly, it’s part of life that our bodies change as we grow older; the body we have in our 30s is not the one we had as teenagers, and the body we have after three children is certainly not the same as before!

Cosmetic surgery is not the only solution to your problem, so can I suggest a cheaper and less permanent option to try first? Did you know that around 70-80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra?

According to lingerie stylists Rigby & Peller, the right bra: “Will increase your confidence because you know that you are wearing a bra that not only fits perfectly, but also beautifully enhances your shape and figure.” It’s amazing how different a woman can feel about herself when she is wearing some decent underwear!

I strongly recommend you try this first, and perhaps a bit of a makeover, a new hairstyle perhaps, and a healthier lifestyle with regular exercise. If, after six months, you still feel strongly about having the surgery, then do your research, make sure you have a reputable doctor, ask questions and know the risks involved.

Our expert panel JODIE COLLINS lives in London, where she heads up Beyond Ourselves, a charity that works in Zambia helping to build and develop community schools. Jodie was previously a teacher before moving to Tenerife for four years, where she worked alongside bar and club staff aged 18 to 30 giving advice, friendship and emotional support.

CARL BEECH is married to Karen and has two daughters. He loves good food, extreme sports challenges and great movies. He leads CVM and founded codelife.You can follow him on Twitter – carlfbeech – or Facebook.

CANON J.JOHN lives in Chorleywood, Hertfordshire. He is married to Killy and they have three sons, Michael, Simeon and Benjamin. He is a speaker with an appeal that transcends gender, age, race, culture and occupation. He has completed thousands of speaking engagements in 69 countries on six continents. J.John has also authored several titles. For further information visit www.philotrust.com and follow him on Twitter: Canonjjohn.

ANGELA GRESHAMCOOKE is married with two children, who are also both married. She was on an adoption panel of a children’s home, trained as a spiritual director and also as a relate counsellor. She has worked on the staff of a big London parish as well as with an agency specialising in rape and sexual abuse.

JC

If you have a question for our panel, please email: wise@libertimagazine.com.

© Yuri Arcurs | Dreamstime.com

There has to be more than physical JJ appearance in any marriage for it to endure: we all lose our looks over time. I’d suggest three approaches. First, if you really have let yourself go then try and get yourself back; if that takes keep-fit classes or dieting, so be it. Second, work on the self-image. As a start, think about the truth that God loves you; you most certainly don’t disgust Him. Hopefully this will rebuild your confidence in who you are. Finally, and most importantly, you need to strengthen the bonds between you

and your husband in other areas. Shift the focus away from the physical to things like friendship and companionship: learn to build up your relationship. In the course of that you can talk to your husband about the sexual side of things. It may even be that the problem is not you, but him. But please avoid the boob job. It’s not the right answer; it’s not even the right problem.

A boob job isn’t the answer. It’s probably more to do with how much you are connecting as a couple. Maybe he doesn’t look at you the way he used to because life has become all about the kids, work and other stuff and not each other. Save the money and have some weekends away together instead.

CB

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FASHION

CHARLIE DAVIES

SWAPPING HER

MANOLOS FOR FLIP FLOPS ONCE FASHION EDITOR FOR THE SUNDAY TELEGRAPH MAGAZINE, CHARLIE DAVIES NOW LIVES IN THE SAHEL REGION OF AFRICA AND RUNS HER OWN COMPANY, SAHEL DESIGN, WHICH MARRIES HER TWO BIG PASSIONS: HER LOVE OF DESIGN AND HER PASSION FOR THE POOR.

BY CLAIRE MUSTERS

A devastating blow

Living the high life

Charlie was married to a city banker and wanted for nothing, but something was missing. She explains: “Despite having material wealth I wasn’t happy. I couldn’t put my finger on why, when I thought that I had everything I could want in the world’s eyes. Then he left me for another woman and my world was broken into pieces.

“I hadn’t seen it coming and was utterly devastated. I didn’t know what to do, then my best friend – who was in Sydney at the time – told me to visit her. At the airport a book caught my eye: Women Who Love Too Much.

“It was about women who find themselves repeatedly drawn into destructive relationships with men due to self-esteem issues. So much of it resonated with me and I realised that my happiness had always been dependent on being with someone else. I was determined to find

t the start of her career, Charlie loved every minute of it. As fashion editor she was responsible for compiling the fashion pages every week; choosing photographers, casting models, styling and directing fashion shoots. She would also report from all the major fashion shows.

“It was fun, creative and hard work,” she recalls. “The industry is highly competitive and you need to live and breathe fashion to do well. I loved the pace, but after four years I found that beneath the busyness, excitement and constant change of seasons and trends it was actually rather repetitive and superficial.”

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out the secret to being content and to find out who I really was.”

Charlie’s brother Nick had become a Christian seven years earlier. He had often tried to engage her in conversation about Christ, but she had been stubbornly resistant. Although she believed in God, she felt challenged by Nick’s faith and didn’t want anything to interfere with the way she lived. When her world fell apart she began to listen to him, but she also looked into Buddhism, feng shui and superstition; anything that might contain the secret to happiness.

Five months after separating from her husband, Charlie was living in Battersea, not far from a church called Holy Trinity Brompton, and Nick encouraged her to go on an Alpha course there. She did so, and everything she heard seemed to make sense.

Finding meaning in life “After becoming a Christian the fashion world seemed more meaningless than ever,” she says.

“I just stopped caring so much about clothes and more about people. I was waiting at a taxi rank in Paris and there was an advertisement showing a starving African mother and child. I was there for four days of couture shows, seeing dresses worth tens of thousands of pounds, and I knew my heart wasn’t in it anymore.”

Charlie still loved magazines and recognised the power they have to communicate. She believes God gave her the vision to start a magazine for teenage girls and the confidence to take the leap. She took a step back and became a contributing fashion editor, which gave her the freedom she needed to develop this magazine.

“Looking back to my own teenage years, I could see that this had been a crucial point in

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THE GARMENT WORKERS OF ‘ CAMBODIA ARE LIKE TEENAGE GIRLS IN THE UK: YOUNG, VULNERABLE AND UNREACHED. ’ my life when lack of self-esteem and desire for affirmation from the opposite sex had propelled me down a road of bad choices. My heart was to use my experience and love of magazine publishing to reach young women with the love of God,” says Charlie.

She looked for Christians with the relevant experience who could form a production team: “Everybody was encouraging and enthusiastic, but no one was able to devote themselves fully to helping make it a reality. After a few months I was still convinced it was right to pursue the dream but didn’t know where to take it next.”

Around this time she was invited to accompany a friend on a trip round Asia. They stopped off in Cambodia to visit a missionary.

“It was in Phnom Penh that I met Michael King, a missionary with World Horizons, who told me about his vision to start a magazine for the garment factory workers there,” she says.

“He had been praying for two years for God to send someone to launch it. It was clear to me that this was God’s invitation, which I accepted.

“The garment workers of Cambodia are like teenage girls in the UK: young, vulnerable and unreached. Many of them leave the shelter of

their family in the countryside for the first time to work in the city.

There were no publications specifically for them at the time and I wanted them to know that they are valued and loved. So I left England for Cambodia in 2005 and one year later Precious Girl Magazine was launched.

“Although hard work, putting the magazine together was exhilarating. It received high acclaim from various NGOs including the UN and the ILO [International Labour Organization].”

The vision was always for Charlie to train a local team and then hand the magazine over to its members, which she did a year later. It ran for two years after she moved to West Africa.

Finding her feet in Sahel Charlie met her second husband, children’s author Stephen Davies, on a training course at World Horizons, which she took before moving

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DISCOVERING, CELEBRATING ‘IT’SANDABOUT REVIVING TRADITIONAL CRAFT TECHNIQUES, PEOPLE AND COMMUNITIES. ’ 68

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to Cambodia. Steve, who had lived in Sahel for ten years, went to share with the students about his radio ministry.

She says: “Steve was the only missionary I had met who was working in the media so we got chatting. We kept in touch, as friends, via occasional emails that became more frequent.

Two years later our relationship had developed into a romance and we got married. We considered living in Phnom Penh so I could carry on with the magazine, but felt God calling us to be in Burkina Faso.”

Charlie found life in Burkina Faso really difficult when she first arrived there. “Rural West Africa was a long way from the bustle of Phnom Penh and I felt deskilled and aimless. I didn’t have a clear vision of what I was going to do, but knew I wanted to help relieve poverty in some way and share the gospel at the same time.”

Charlie set up a ladies’ sewing group teaching basic embroidery techniques. She explains: “I made some friends, improved my Fulfulde and the ladies made a bit of money, but something about it didn’t feel right. I didn’t like dictating what they should make and I felt as though people only bought the produce because it was ‘for a good cause’.”

Around this time she met Karin BeatePhillips, director of Save Our Skills; an organisation dedicated to researching, documenting and preserving traditional skills.

Although Karin is an atheist, Charlie was inspired by her vision and believes it is highly relevant to all missionaries in a foreign culture.

“God has created and loves the diversity of different people groups,” she states. “Too often as missionaries the message of the gospel gets mixed up with our identity as Westerners, and we forget to learn about who people are in our eagerness to help them. Inspired by the SOS vision I decided to stop trying to teach halfbaked ideas and techniques and spend some time sitting at the feet of local artisans and learn about their culture instead.”

Leaving the charity shops behind “I believe in authentic trade (as opposed to ‘pity purchases’) as a means of relieving poverty,” Charlie points out. “There are people with

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artistic heritage, passion, skill and talent to offer who are struggling to survive because we aren’t recognising them for who they are. That’s what I’m trying to do with SAHEL design. It’s about discovering, celebrating and reviving traditional craft techniques, people and communities.”

Charlie blogs at www.saheldesign.com, putting up photos of products that she develops with local artisans. “Through the SAHEL design website, I hope to attract orders from retailers for products, as well as raise an interest in local artisanal culture and a respect for African craftspeople. It’s about time that Africa and African craft broke out of the charity shop and got taken seriously,” Charlie says.

She has also set up an online shop, www.jamshop.org.uk, where SAHEL design products are sold, as well as things that are bought directly from independent local

jewellers and tailors.

All the profits from the SAHEL design products sold go back into community projects.

So far they’ve funded the building of a weaving centre and a medical visit for the children in a local village. The next goal is water pumps in two villages. As Charlie summarises her vision: “It’s about respecting, serving and liberating people in the name of Jesus, and that’s even more exciting than sitting in the front row of a Dior couture show.”

•

Claire is a freelance writer and editor, mum of two young children, a pastor’s wife, worship leader and school governor. Claire’s desire is to help others draw closer to God through her writing, which focuses on marriage, parenting, worship and issues facing women today. To find out more about Claire, visit www.clairemusters.com and follow her on Twitter (@CMusters).

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CATHY MADAVAN

LAST WORD

esearch is a fascinating thing.

Apparently (according to research), the average parent tells his or her children 3,000 white lies during their childhood. How ridiculous! What a totally outrageous and gross exaggeration! Anybody who has been a parent for more than three weeks knows that figure is far too low! We probably lie almost as often as we eat.

Why, even this week I heard about a mum in our church who was driven around a bend that was as twisted as the truth she had told. This lovely lady was asked again and again by her daughter to go up to the loft.

It turned out that she had previously explained to her child that she kept all of her old homework and pictures in the loft, and now the child really wanted to see them. Had she carefully filed them up there for future posterity? Had she heck! They were filed with the rest of the recycling. Poor love.

Personally, I have marvelled at the potential for creative fact fabrication over the years.

“You like that pretty tune the ice cream van plays? Well, it’s because he has run out of icecream but wants to make you happy anyway.”

“The sweets by the counter? Oh, sorry honey, but they are just there to make it look pretty – they’re not actually for sale.”

“Wow – that Lego house looks awesome! It’s a car, you say? Oh my life – that’s even better –

R

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THAT “ PRETTY TUNE

I never saw… um… a sturdier looking car!”

And let’s not forget the mysterious instructions we give in order to avoid stashed presents being busted, nor the legends of the large red-suited festive man, the baby-bombing stork, the flying tooth-traders (with a complex set of rules about how they sometimes need to leave change, what happens if the tooth is late or why the money is sometimes delayed), and I guess we ought to mention the total whitewashing of our own personal histories, thereby leading our children to believe that we did in fact resemble a mixture of Mother Theresa and Mary Poppins during our teenage years.

What a terrible revelation. Many of us upright citizens are actually stooping purveyors of falsehoods in our relationships! Of course, truthfully (ahem), we believe that these embellishments are there to protect and encourage our loved ones to grow safely in an atmosphere of love and imagination and possibility. Aren’t they?

I mean, what would life be like if we were totally, literally and painfully truthful all the time?

“Your bum? How does it look? Like two large

and half-deflated beach balls, babe.”

“Can I see that spot on your face? Are you kidding me? A geologist should chart it as a new volcanic range.”

“Did I like your singing?

That was what that noise was? I’ve been adding WD40 to every door in the house!”

No, that would never do.

However, some murky differentiation still exists between being honest and always telling the truth. It is found in the exploration of our motives, the consequences of our words and knowing whose best interests are really being served.

And the real test? That is whether we are able to lovingly share those difficult or important truths, especially when a lie would be much easier or more convenient. It’s a brave thing to do.

It’s a tough choice. But it’s an honest expression of love, and it sets us free.

THE ICE CREAM VAN PLAYS? WELL, IT’S BECAUSE HE HAS RUN OUT OF ICE-CREAM.

”

•

CATHY MADAVAN runs Mulberry Communications Consultancy, is involved in writing, communications and PR, and speaks regularly with Care for the Family and Spring Harvest. Married to Mark, a church leader near Southampton, she has two girls and three chickens! Check out her blog at www.mulberrycc.com or follower her on twitter @CathyMadavan.

© Stockcube | Dreamstime.com

I’ll tell you the truth… …sort of

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