November 2018: a note to you,
T
his issue is about mirrors. I’ve been thinking about identity and self-perception a lot over the past year, and one question I keep coming back to is, “When are you most you?” I think my default thought had always been that my self-perception existed as an independent entity: the truest me was me by myself. But, it doesn’t have to be this, does it? What if you’re most you with a certain group of friends or with a certain family member? I think I’ve come to reinterpret how I see myself in a way that involves who I see myself in. This isn’t to say there is no such thing as being independent, but rather to suggest that our identity is a web of factors. We are reflected back into our own eyes in the people and places we choose to be around. So, this issue is about a mixture of seeing ourselves in what we do but also connecting ourselves with others as well. Always,
Taylor Seamans
founder / editor-in-chief instagram: @inbtwnmag
what page is ..? 07
In Rhythm
08
Maxwell Young
15
“Etch of Morning”
18
Artist Insight
24
ANNE+
32
“Negus”
36
Submissions
41
“Place a Mirror on America”
42
VICTOR!
50
Flipbook
56
“Reflection in the Modern Age”
A special thank you to everyone who supports this magazine. Whether you have submitted work, skimmed through an issue, or read each page, we’re thankful to have you as a part of our community. Like the title says, we’re inbtwn where we started and where we hope to be, and your support is helping us get there.
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THE TEAM
ON THE COVER
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
MAXWELL YOUNG
TAYLOR SEAMANS WRITERS
Maxwell is a 19-year old musician based in New Zealand. His recent
album release, “Daydreamer”, acts as a personal diary as much as it is a
MAXINE FLASHER-DUZGUNES
musical project. His inspiration from Kevin Abstract’s solo projects have
JOSUE ROMERO
projects, he’s not afraid to experiment and doesn’t feel confined by any
JESSICA BROCK
ARTISTS
motivated him to create visuals for his work. As he moves onto new sound he’s already put out.
JENNIFER LANGEN LÉA ZHANG
HARPER KUO CONTRIBUTORS
MAXWELL YOUNG
CONTACT US INSTAGRAM
VICTOR
@inbtwnmag
MAUD WIEMEIJER
SUBMISSION INQUIRIES
VALERIE BISSCHEROUX HANNA VAN VLIET
info@inbtwnmag.com
BOMA ILUMA
ADVERTISING INQUIRIES
LAUREN KIM
THIBAULT CLAIRIS-GAUTHIER
advertising@inbtwnmag.com
DANA JOURNEY
WEBSITE
ANDREA PANALIGAN
DANIELA DE LA TORRE
www.inbtwnmag.com
EMMA EARLY
JESSICA BISHOP ERIN DELSIGNE
JULIAN RAIFORD
MARIETTA BALZER
MICHELLE PELLETIER MISHA POLA
SYDNEY KEENEY MIA YANEZ
Front Cover: courtesy of Maxwell Young Back Cover: courtesy of Boma Iluma
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in rhythm Lovers Rock // TV Girl Hiding Tonight // Alex Turner Skin // dijon Honolulu // Last Dinosaurs Lover Boy // Phum Viphurit That I Miss You // Vansire Bambi // Hippo Campus These Days // Wallows If You Know That I’m Lonely // FUR still feel // Half Alive Black Lipstick // Chicano Batman Hunnybee // Unknown Moral Orchestra Alrighty Aphrodite // Peach Pit Warned You // Good Morning Dreams Tonite // Alvvays Dear to Me // Electric Guest
music Selection: MIA YANEZ
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maxwell young Q: Could you introduce yourself? Maxwell: Sure, I’m Maxwell Young. I’m an 18year old musician from New Zealand. Q: Let’s talk first about your recent album release, “Daydreamer”. I’ve been listening to it on repeat since July. You’ve talked about it being a personal diary as much as it is an album. Can you expand on that? Maxwell: It basically was meaning that it was me finding my voice with talking about— well, typical stuff— teen angst and heartbreak. But music was the way that I dealt with every emotion rather than talking to people about it. All my feelings were just kind of one with the music I was making. Q: How did this project idea start and progress? Maxwell: I’d been releasing music online for a little bit, but then I decided I wanted to make an actual project so I could say, “Here is me.” That was kind of spurred on by when Kevin Abstract released his solo album. I just loved that it was a 8 — (mirrors)
project that had its own world. I kind of decided in December 2016 that I wanted to make my album “Daydreamer.” I knew the kind of heartbreak, teen topic. A lot of the song writing started with basing it on movies like “10 Things I Hate About You.” It was easier to write about than my own life experiences at times. Q: It seems you do a lot of journaling, and have been for years. Does it contribute to your song writing a lot? Maxwell: Yeah, it contributes a lot. I’m always writing notes. I do it so much. It’s interesting looking back at my diaries because I don’t really look back at them that much, but when I do I can really see how I was thinking. That’s what I’m meaning when I say [“Daydreamer”] is like a diary, because it’s kind of the evolution of making a diary presentable and consumable. Q: Was the intention of your journals always for song material, or was it more just you being a kid and journaling? Maxwell: It was just journaling as a kid. But, without me knowing, it was also happening at
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the same time as me learning the guitar and learning how to write songs. When I started writing songs when I was little, I could hardly tell what my emotions were so it wasn’t always great song material. Q: So, you picked up guitar at what age? Maxwell: I was about 8, I think. I also have played violin since I was 3. I play the keyboard a little and have been learning drums. I kind of play whatever I have to. I do all of the backing tracks by myself at the moment. Q: Violin at 3? What made you choose that? Maxwell: My dad plays guitar and has been in bands, so my parents have been very supportive of music in general. But, I guess they just asked me what instrument I wanted to play, and I guess I thought violin was a good one. I don’t know why I chose it at 3. Q: What is your creative process like? Beats, melodies, or lyrics first? Maxwell: It changes a lot. I was listening to someone the other day saying how Michael Jackson always said, “Melody first. Lyrics later.” For me, I’m always journaling. I like to write notes while I’m walking, so I’m always writing words and phrases. But, the start of a song is usually messing around with some instrumental sounds or feeling an emotion strongly. It kind of comes together like a collage of, “Oh, this instrument would fit this emotion well.” I’m still figuring it out, but I think it’s going to change for the next stuff I make. It’s always changing, and because of that, the next project will have a different kind of sound because the process will be different. Q: Do you see your music as a personal story-telling or are you creating characters in your songs? Maxwell: It’s a bit of both, but I think it’s more just me. I like to use names in songs, ones I make up because if I used names of actual people it’d be weird. So, I do kind of make characters but it’s not like I come up with a character and create a story for them. It’s my story. The characters can just kind of help tell my story. Q: Your song, “Worth / Gotta Get Away”, feels like it could’ve been two songs but it’s posted as one. What’s the intention behind this? Maxwell: I knew I wanted “Worth” on there as the center piece. It’s kind of served as a lullaby for me. It’s helped me calm down when I got stressed in high school. So, it means a lot to me but I thought it was too weird for people to actually like it as much as they have been. “Gotta Get Away” was a kind of similar thing. I just didn’t really know how to fit it in because it didn’t have much direction— it was just a strong mood. So, I thought they worked well together because it’s a simple topic of anxiety and feeling like you just want to get away. When I put them together, it felt like it made a lot of sense. But, that pairing only happened like a month before I released it. Q: I find how songs are ordered within an album to be super
intriguing. With the ordering of songs on your album, do you talk with friends or family about your ideas or is it just you? Maxwell: I got a little bit of help. My friend, Alex, said that the last song should be the title track. I didn’t have a name for that song for ages, so calling it “Daydreamer” just seemed to make a lot of sense. Other than that though, it was just me deciding the order. I knew that “1999” was going to be the first one. I’m happy with how [the album] progresses. I used to have this whole thing written out about what the story was, but I don’t really know anymore. Q: Do you think about song-writing differently if it’s for a single versus for an album? Maxwell: That’s a great question. It’s something I’ve been thinking about recently as I figure out what the next projects are. I would say that I do think about it differently because a single really has to have some direction. “Goldeneye”, for example, wouldn’t work as a single. It doesn’t feel like it has direction. Once I had “Daydreamer” as an album, I started to realize that one song would balance out the next. I didn’t want it all to be too sad or too slow. I wasn’t afraid of the album having a lot of variety and different styles. They’re not all guitar songs, for example, which I think is fine. “Worth / Gotta Get Away” got put on Spotify’s lo-fi playlist, but “No Social Butterfly” is more indie-pop. They all have different places individually but also work well all together. Q: Is there a genre you identify yourself as? Maxwell: I don’t know. I’m trying to make alternative pop music, but I guess it’s a bit indie as well. Q: Talk about your opinion on the term “bedroom pop”. I know that it’s a label some artists in that space like and others really don’t. Maxwell: Weirdly, my answer is neither of those two. I don’t hate it, but it’s not like I don’t care. So many people think of bedroom pop as a trend. I don’t think when people think of bedroom pop they think of me, but if I were [who they thought of], I think I’d recognize what “bedroom pop” means and try to change it a bit, try to push the bounds of what people think bedroom pop is. I think labels are cool when you can subvert them. Q: You talked about being inspired by Kevin Abstract’s solo project. Has that inspired you to release more visuals with your music? Maxwell: Yeah, I need to do music videos, but it’s hard when I don’t have any team. I’ve been figuring out the ideas and concepts, but it takes time. There will definitely be videos out this year for “Daydreamer”, and there will be more visuals for the next projects. I really do value visuals, but it’s not like a song where I can just make it and put it out there. It really takes more planning and sometimes funding. Q: I’m sure it differs song to song, but how long does it usually take you to make a song?
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Maxwell: It takes like a week, after being inspired, of figuring out the idea. But, what I did with “Daydreamer” (as an album) was I spent a lot of time sitting the songs and thinking about if I thought they were good enough. Most of the time, I couldn’t add something because once I get out of the headspace like three-months down the line, I don’t have anything to add because I’m not in that feeling anymore. But sitting on the songs did help me figure out which songs to put on the album. For example, since I still liked “1999” after all that time, I knew it was worth putting out. On the other hand, “No Social Butterfly” was made just a month before putting it out, but it felt done and worthy of being on the album. Q: Now that you have an audience, do you find yourself to be more self-critical of what you put out? Maxwell: I’m definitely more self-critical now. A lot of the stuff I first started putting out was made in a day and released the same day, and it got plays for whatever reason. That was kinda my catalog. But now, I want to make sure the music is worth it, that it’s timeless— or at least trying to be timeless. Now, I have more people that I look up to, so I pay more attention to what I’m doing. I don’t want to embarrass myself. I’m giving it a lot more thought. Also, my taste is changing. Going from what to what? Maxwell: Well, it’s not even that it’s going towards one style, but it’s just developing more. I know a lot more things that aren’t me. It’s not that I’m being hard on myself, but I’m just finding my creative voice more and that takes time and thought. Q: Also, with an audience comes a sort of “expectation” of what your sound is. Are you ever pressured by this expectation? Maxwell: I think I would be lying if I said there was no acknowledgment that people want a certain kind of sound from me. I definitely have some sort of sound that I want to hear, but I think so far I haven’t shied away from going for whatever style I want to release. I don’t think people would be surprised if I did something different. That being said, I’m not going for something crazy different in my next projects. Q: You’ve done some collaborations with Clairo and Instupendo for your album. Could you talk about those? Maxwell: I’ve known those two online for ages. With “Midnight”, I was really happy with the song, and I knew that I wanted Clairo’s voice on it. This was before she had released the “Pretty Girl” video, so just when she was more based on SoundCloud. We’d been fans of each other for a while, so I just sent it to her and she sent me her verse. I wish it could’ve been an in the room thing, but there’s something special about being able to send something to someone and they can catch that feeling and go with it. I’ll be honest, I’m bad at doing features on other people’s work because it’s difficult for me to be like, “Oh, I understand you.” That’s why I don’t really do features on other people’s tracks, but I think it’s something I need to get better at. For “Evergreen”, I sent Instupendo the first verse with the guitar, and he loved it and then made it so much better.
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“It kind of comes together like a collage of, “Oh, this instrument would fit this emotion well.”
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“I’d been releasing music online for a little bit, but then I decided I wanted to make an actual project so I could say, ‘Here is me.’”
Q: You talked about it being hard to make a song once you get out of the head space of the emotion. That being said, I know you wrote the track “Daydreamer” long before recording it. In this case, was it hard for you to create it in the way you wanted it to be? Maxwell: Great question. I’ve never been asked that before. So, I had the guitar, but I had trouble recording it. I really wanted to put that song and another song called “Always” out, but I could never translate the feeling of me playing it by myself into the recording. I think it just took me getting better at producing and recording to feel like I could actually layer it up to how it should be. I’m still not 100% happy with it really, but I don’t think I ever could be. I’ve just listened to it so many times. But once I set the release date for “Daydreamer”, I just kind of forced myself to finish it I guess. It was hard though, with what you were saying about the feeling changing over time. It did make it hard going through so many versions. Q: Are there any other musicians or movies that influence you? Maxwell: Yeah, a lot. Phoenix, the album “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”, was a huge inspiration for me. It’s probably my 14 — (mirrors)
favorite album ever. The 1975, especially their song “Sex”, inspired me to start making choruses because I hadn’t done that before. I was like, “Wow, choruses are actually great. They’re not boring. They’re actually used for a reason.” Q: Was that your impression prior about choruses? Maxwell: Yeah, I just felt like being taught song structure in high school, I was like, “Ugh, that’s so boring.” You know, like A-B-A? I didn’t want to follow a formula, but once I heard “Sex”, I was like, “Oh okay, I understand”, and now I’m obsessed with choruses. Q: Where do you see yourself in 2-5 years? I have a lot of goals. I want to live in New York and be a professional musician. That’s the goal. I sometimes have the notion that I want to sign to a record label, but honestly that’d not be unless there was a really good deal. I’d really want to write and produce for other people more— for bigger artists than me. That’s why I’m so obsessed with Shawn Mendes and Charlie Puth. I’m like, “I just want to write for you guys.” But really, just making music feel like a real career to me more. I’d also love to do world tour stuff.
etch of morning written by Maxine Flasher-Duzgunes illustration by Harper Kuo
The carriage house on Mirabel Lane was within a mile of my home. A wooden Miwok chief stood in the front yard, by the blind, long-haired calico and the neighbors’ garden. The stairs wound up to a patio of succulents and bird feeders and porcelain animals, one of which, unknown to me, had an emergency key. By the door was a cat window and inside the window a bunk bed which stored doll clothes and old art projects and a stuffed horse one could ride around the cold, wood panels. And along the windows were stained glass ornaments and mini chimes, only ringing to the soft touch of a child’s fingers, not even the wind rushing with the scents of eucalyptus and pine. The kettle always whistled and the tea always steeped, the memory of this place eternally etched in morning. The little girls played chess on Saturdays at 10, knocked over pieces at 10:15, nibbled on the mother’s biscuits at 10:20, then at 10:30 ran around the room rearranging items so that
each one they took would live on their side. And at 10:45, in the garage below the house, the little girls fought over a Barbie scooter because neither knew how to ride a bike. The driveway potholes occasionally skinned a knee, but the thrill of the scooter led each to forget about the broken skin and concrete pebbles stuck to the inside of their palms. At 11:00, the little girls walked down to the book sale at the library and traded their piggy banks for the Berenstain Bears. The mama of the younger girl took them to the market at the edge of these mornings, and bought purple tortilla chips and avocado and apples and each a turkey sandwich with focaccia and mayonnaise. Then she took them to Tennessee Valley where she sliced the apples with a Swiss Army Knife and for each two slices the little girls had, one they placed in their stinging palms for the butterscotch horse at the fork in the road.
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At this fork, they tiptoed through ivy and coyote brush to a clearing in the eucalyptus. In the spring, the clearing filled with water and the lily pads covered the water so one might believe they could balance atop them. Here, the little girls unwrapped their sandwiches and ate the Appalachian mint chocolates that the woman at the deli had folded carefully inside. The mama took out a book of Jack London and laid a scarf as a blanket alongside the first lily blooming. In the watery breaks of lily pads, the little girls grimaced like narcissus at his handsome form, sending seismic rings into the water with their fingernails. They delighted at their forms in ruffled skirts and light up shoes, and at once realized themselves belonging to this race of people who are taken care of, comforted like aged cheddar on elbows every Saturday at noon. No one could surpass the wondrousness of being taken to a land of the little girls’ own design, a wondrousness where they could learn about themselves through the glistening of the water, their forms containing the two dimensionality of a reflection, yet the cool depth of the pond, its various newts and water striders disrupting the images of the two girls mid-smile. How long would this last? they collectively thought, but surely not long enough to let last and dampen this sweet moment. The mother spoke in a jolly English tongue, watching the girls like fairies that had been bestowed on her forested, tea sipping, carriage-house life. What was this ephemerality that accompanied a child like a hazardous bow on a gift, and why couldn’t the little girls muster the maturity of spirit to hold on to this comfort, this feeling of always being warm inside the world of mother’s arms? For once the little girls found this spirit, they were at the brink of their littleness, and no more could they gaze upon what was no longer there. Of course it was not ugliness they saw in the lily pond years later when they returned to affirm their memory, but a beauty straining to outgrow the petite charm of the child it succeeded. Without the age to realize what would soon vanish, the little girls were fooled with the thought that they would become beautiful inside their rosy, baby-powdered skin. And in this brief minute, acorns tapping the muddy bank, falling in the sea drift from two miles out, they believed this magic mirror within the pond would never change.
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ARTIST INSIGHT THIBAULT CLAIRIS-GAUTHIER
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Love is love. Expanding the (quite limited) list of positive, gay love stories through a new television series: an interview with director, writer, and lead actor of Anne+, a series about “a girl dating girls in Amsterdam.”
VALERIE BISSCHEROUX (director) Q: Tell me about yourself.
Q: Did you have any directing experience from school?
Valerie: I studied at the Netherlands film academy, I did production and finished that last year. In my third year of the film academy, Maud came to me with the idea of ANNE+. We’d met that year, and together we had the feeling that we needed to make something, specifically lesbian representation. I always had the feeling that I wanted to do directing, and so when she came to me with this idea, I was like, “This should be the project I start with.” So, I graduated as a producer, but now I’m directing because I like it more. I think I’m better at it. ANNE+ is my debut project.
Valerie: At the film academy, we learn about directing as well. I participated in a few courses, but for the most part it was auto-didactic.
Q: What makes you like directing more than producing? Valerie: Well, what I like about both is that you look at what is in the world and decide what stories need to be told. You do that as a producer and a director, but I like to go into the details much more which is what you can do as a director. You can really give your input on the story, and you work it out with the actors. I really like that. Also, I wasn’t as great at aspects of producing like meeting deadlines and being on time (laughs). With directing, I can just focus on one thing at a time, and that’s better for me. I also really enjoy working directly with the actors. 24 — (mirrors)
Q: How did you find who to get involved? I know involvement was primarily on volunteer basis. Valerie: When Maud and I started, we knew a few people from my year at the film academy who we asked immediately. I just proposed the story and need for representation. They are also gay, so they had the same feeling that these things need to be made. For Hanna, we thought of her as the best person to play the role of Anne. She had the same connection to representation as well. I think if you have a strong “why”, then people sense your enthusiasm and it sparks their enthusiasm as well. Q: How did you find Hanna to play the lead role? Valerie: I’d seen her in a play, and she was a friend of a friend. I spoke to her outside after the show about what she was interested in doing after graduating. We had a nice conversation, so I kept her in mind. When it came to choosing who would play Anne, Maud and I said at the same time, “Hanna.”
Q: Why university and not a different time? Valerie: We wanted to tell a story about a student. There aren’t enough stories about students. There are mostly stories about high school or people that are already out of school and working. That time in university where you get away from your parents and move. It’s this very in between time of leaving your friends from before, finding out who you want to hang out with, and figuring out a lot about yourself. It’s an interesting phase and very big coming-of-age time in your life.
people in films and series— especially not lesbians. When they are portrayed, it’s mostly in stereotypical manners. There’s nothing inherently bad about stereotypical things, but I think there should be a broader perspective on sexuality and the way people express themselves. There are loads of types of lesbians, not just the type that are portrayed in films often. Films can be so universal, so if you see more homosexuality in films and series, it becomes more normal for everyone. That’s the most important thing: that people around the world see more homosexuality so it becomes more normal.
Q: What do love and relationships mean to Anne?
Q: Who is your target audience?
Valerie: I think she’s really searching for the reason to be with someone— the reason to belong to someone or spend time with someone. Through the different relationships, she’s finding out what type of person she fits well with and what she needs from a person to make her feel like, “This is it.” I think she’s very seeking. We really only see Anne super in love in one episode, and so in that episode you really see what relationships mean to Anne. For example, talking with someone about personal things but also about random stuff.
Valerie: It’s a very broad audience. Of course we made it for LGBTQ people, but it’s for everyone. It’s for anyone with a connection to love stories, and I hope everyone does. We hope that not only LGBTQ will watch but everyone. The stories we tell are very universal. It’s more about love than sexuality.
Q: Why is this series important right now? Valerie: I don’t think there’s enough representation of gay
Q: What are you hoping people take away from the show? Valerie: I hope they really feel that love is just love. It doesn’t matter who the love is with. Anne is searching for who fits her, and I think that’s something we all do. We’re all searching for who to hang out with— friends and loved ones. So, I hope people recognize the different situations and think, “Oh, that inbtwn. — 25
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could be me as well.” It doesn’t matter what sexuality someone has. Q: Are there any other films that influenced your creative direction? Valerie: Yes there are a few. I’m still finding out if I’m a very stylistic person or natural. I tend to make a combination of that. So, I really like Richard Ayoade. He made “Submarine” and “The Double”. I’m also a big fan of Chloé Robichaud who made “Feminin/ Feminin”. I’m very inspired by her work as well. I also love films like “Sunrise” and “Boyhood” with a very natural style. I’d like to make a combination of very natural scenes that become stylistic through color and angle of the shots. I’d also add Greta Gerwig. I find it very important to show women in these roles.
MAUD WIEMEIJER (writer) Q: Tell me about yourself. Maud: I studied theater studies at the University of Amsterdam and graduated in 2016, so I have more of a theater background. I wrote a play a few years ago in university which was also about identity and sexuality. Then, I just started writing movie scripts and made a short film and then came up with the idea for ANNE+. That’s kind of where I am now, three years later. Q: Was this your first main project after graduating? Maud: This was my first really big project that I’ve really made myself. Like I said, I did do the play at the end of my studies and the short film. However, with the film, nothing really was done with it, so I don’t consider it my first true project. For me, ANNE+ is my first big one. Q: How did you come up with the concept that each episode would be Anne in a different relationship? Maud: I knew I wanted to make something about a gay girl and relationships. I felt that a story with just a single relationship has been done so many times, and I really wanted to show the diversity of
lesbian women. This was a great way to portray that. Beyond this, the series is really about how you act when you’re with someone. You act differently depending on who you’re with in some ways, and you see this with Anne and all the girls she’s with. That’s something I find really interesting. I thought that if I placed her with a different girl in each episode, you’d be able to see her evolving personality through that. Q: How did you get in contact with Valerie to direct? Maud: We knew each other from the gay scene in Amsterdam. She’d been in the film academy, and we both wanted to make stories about gay girls, sexuality, and identity. When I came up with the idea of ANNE+, I immediately knew I needed to contact Valerie. So, I contacted her to ask her what kind of role she’d want to play in the project, and she immediately said she wanted to direct it. That’s how it all started really. Q: I know a lot of the work on this film has been on a volunteer basis. How did you find people who were interested in being involved? Maud: It was a lot of people from the
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film academy that Valerie knew. A lot of them were going to be new graduates, so they were eager for first experiences. Also, nearly all of our crew is LGBTQ, so they were really involved, personally, with the project. We knew these people really wanted to tell these stories.
watch it, but I’d say now it’s more like 1830 years old because it’s about university years, complicated relationships, alcohol and drugs. The whole idea of ANNE+ started with wanting to reach girls who were still in the closet so they could see that it was okay.
Q: How would Anne define love and relationships?
Q: Originally it started as a web series, but now it’s been bought for TV?
Maud: I think she would define them as very exhausting but also very fun. She falls in love, she gets dumped, she dumps girls, and she’s really looking for what she wants in a relationship. I think her perspective on love is very unclear still. She doesn’t know what that means for her yet or what kind of person she wants to be with.
Maud: Yes, we felt that web was the best way to be accessible for anyone. That was our main thing: you don’t have to tune in at a certain time or make an account. But then, the whole money thing got in the way, and the only way we could get money to make it was through television. So the main release will be on TV in Amsterdam, but we’re focusing on finding platforms to still release it online internationally.
Q: Why did you decide to make her in her university years rather than recently graduated or still in high school? Maud: Your college years are such an important part of your life, but many films— at least in the Netherlands— are about teenagers or working people in their thirties. In my experience, there aren’t a lot of stories about university students. I really wanted to put that into the story because, for me, it’s such an important few years to discover yourself, to explore a new city, and maybe to come out. It’s really an important time for independence. Q: Why do you feel this series is important right now? Maud: There isn’t a lot of representation, and the representation that is there is mainly about people coming out or being in love in a way where being gay is part of the problem or the main storyline. I wanted to make a story about a gay girl that normalizes being gay. They don’t really talk about, it’s just happening. I wanted to show the audience that it’s okay to be gay and that you can live a normal life. Not every story has to be about coming out or having a forbidden love because your family doesn’t accept you. It’s, of course, important to tell those stories as well, but they’ve been told so many times. It’s nice to tell a positive story, and I think that’s really important. Q: Who would you say the target audience for the series is? Maud: Well, it started out for younger people— 15-25 year-olds. But gradually, it became a bit older. 15 year-olds can still 28 — (mirrors)
Q: Would you have written anything differently if you’d know it was going to be on TV initially? Maud: Sure. The script started out written for 18-20 minute long episodes, but since we were aiming to make it a web series, we were told we had to reduce it to 10 minute episodes. So, it’s weird because it’s going to be broadcasted on TV but it’s in a short web-format series. If I’d known from the start we were going to broadcast it on TV, I would’ve kept the episodes at more like 20 minutes. I’ve been writing it over the course of three years— writing, rewriting, deleting scenes, and stuff. Q: What is your writing process like? Maud: For this project, it’s been very unorthodox because my collaboration with the director, Valerie, is so close. We help each other and are really making it together. For me, I created the concept and just started writing. I’d write an episode, we’d sit and talk about it, I’d rewrite it, I’d read it to someone else, and rewrite it again. That’s kind of how it went. Personally, with writing, I just start and I write way too much. Then, I reduce it afterwards to the 10 minute time frame. Once I start writing, especially dialogue, it can go on forever because I love writing dialogue. It was a real challenge for me to choose what information was needed to drive the story forward. Q: It’s interesting you say you love writing dialogue so much. I’m not a writer, but it seems like dialogue would be hard to write— to make it sound natural and
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believable while still getting the story line across. Has writing dialogue always been an interest of yours? Maud: Yeah, absolutely. It’s funny because now I’m making a web series which is very short format and more about the concept than the dialogue. But, I’ve always loved films that revolve around dialogue. That is the challenge, to make a conversation feel natural. But, I use a lot of inspiration just from what I hear around me. It’s just so wonderful that you can make characters say anything you want. You can inspire people. So often you see people reference quotes from films because it applies to them in some way, and I think that’s really wonderful. That’s why I like writing dialogue. Q: Did you base characters off of people you know in your life, or are they completely made up? Maud: No, I didn’t put anyone from my real life into the script. I did combine my own experiences, Valerie’s experiences, and the cast’s experiences into the story, but I was very careful not to 30 — (mirrors)
put anyone directly from my life into the script. People already think it’s about me because it’s a gay girl of my age living in Amsterdam, but I don’t want people to think I just wrote down my entire love life. So, that’s not what I did. Of course, I used some experiences I’ve had, but it’s not like I’ve written down all of my exes. Q: Through writing the show, have you learned anything more about yourself? Maud: Hmm, interesting. Not so much personally, but career-wise I definitely have. I’ve become much more certain of what I want to do, that I want to write films and plays that are just about gay women because there’s not enough of that. I found that if you really want something and think you deserve to have it made, that you can make it work. I’ve learned to stand my ground and not give up, even if it takes three years to make a series. I’ve also found that I have more patience than I thought I would have. Q: What are you hoping people take away from the show?
Maud: I hope they see that it’s possible to make a successful series where the lead is a gay girl, that you can be successful telling those stories. I hope people will see there’s such a lack of representation of gay girls and acknowledge that. Also, with the whole “being gay” thing, I hope they see that it’s normal and okay. And with the team that we’ve made this with, I hope it shows young makers that they can make what they want and have something really wonderful come out of it. That’s the whole struggle as being a young maker; no one really trusts you yet or will provide you money to make what you want to make. So, I also hope the film industry realizes like, “Okay, we should do more or give some more money to young makers and see what happens.” Q: Are there any other writers that influenced you? Maud: I really enjoy Mike Mills films. Also, Greta Gerwig, not only as a director but also as a writer. I like films where the director is also the writer, where they do it all.
HANNA VAN VLIET (Anne) Q: Tell me about yourself. Hanna: My name is Hanna. I’m 26 years old, living in Amsterdam. I graduated four years ago from the drama school here in Amsterdam. I’ve been working ever since as an actor, and now we’re making this series. Q: What made you want to act? Hanna: I grew up doing it on the weekends at a youth theater company. It was so great because we made these shows and toured the country. When you’re a teenager, that’s very exciting and a lot of fun. I liked the people in theater a lot— more than the people in my normal school. So, I thought maybe it’s a world I should be in. Q: What made you want to be a part of ANNE+? Hanna: It’s always nice to see young people who are enthusiastic about their project. I immediately felt that this project was really important to Maud and Valerie. I like them both. They’re very smart and fun. The main character, of course, is gay and so am I, but this isn’t the main theme of the series. However, the fact that she is gay is important because there aren’t many series with characters like this. The fact that the title role is a gay girl is of course also part of what I like about joining this project and what I’d personally love to see. Q: What do love and relationships mean to Anne? Hanna: She’s young and searching for who she is, what kind of person she wants to be, or even what kind of person she
feels she needs to become. When you date different people, you become a slightly different person with every person you’re with. So, she’s on the look out for the right person, or the right version of herself. It’s a very exciting time for her to be young and happy with herself being gay. Q: In the series, Anne is a university student. Do you see parallels between your experience as a university student and that of Anne? Hanna: Yes, a lot. Our lives are pretty similar in a way. She’s a young, girl living in Amsterdam. A lot of the places she goes to in the series are places I go to with my friends. That was on purpose, putting places that we like into the series. Also, this whole story about finding out who you are is something I’ve been busy with, or still am. I think Anne is more confident, at an earlier age, with her sexuality than I was. That’s something I really like about this series. The main character isn’t having any issues with her sexuality. That’s something we want people to take away from the show: it is perfectly fine and nice and fun to be gay. It doesn’t have to mean you’re an unhappy person, as it’s portrayed in so many films. Q: What was most enjoyable? Hanna: The people that we made the series with were so exciting and young. We shot the series in three parts, and in the beginning there was no money. We crowdfunded the project in the beginning, so everyone that worked on the project was doing it as volunteer work even though we were all ambitious professionals. The crew was primarily female which was fun because the movie industry is very maledominated.
photo credit: Millstreet Films
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Negus To be black in America is to be actively unseen and violently misunderstood. My upbringing in Nigeria did not prepare me for this harsh reality. This project is a letter to my 14 year old self, with the guidance I wish I had upon return to the US without my family. creative directed and curated by Boma Iluma shot by Lauren Kim starring Gbenga Komolafe, Stanley Kalu, and Bryant Bernard Jr.
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inbtwn. community a p l a c e f o r y o u t o s h a r e a b i t o f y o u r s t o r y.
The concept is inspired by materials that mimic mirrors— like metallic fabric and aluminium— but it also seeks to resemble images of low quality, taken on cellphones and in improvised sets. The DIY aesthetic matters a lot to me. I believe it helps me show the audience that I have something to say, but that I am not perfect. I thought it would be interesting to take that ancient idea of wearing the skin of an animal to obtain its powers and doing it with mirrors. Why would you want the powers of a mirror now a days? Which powers are those? // Daniela de la Torre
I’m an 18-year-old writer and photographer from the Philippines. I’ve always believed that photography reveals more about the photographer than the subject of the photographs. I get to know myself better through the lens of my camera; I get to know what things I pay attention to, the kind of moments I want to capture and immortalize. When I look at the pictures I take, I see myself. // Andrea Panaligan
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“All of these photos were taken in San Diego California where I was born and raised for 17 years. I became inspired by the Southern California lifestyle which I wanted to portray through these collection of photos. While taking these photos, I wanted to create memories, to look back at them, and allow them to take me back to the place where they were captured. In some of the photo collages, my main focus was to try something new and combine different characteristics into one which is something I love about photography— being able to make it your own and create something out of nothing.” // Emma Early
“I am a Johannesburg, South Africa-based graphic artist working primarily with copic markers, journals, and digital media. I was born in Portland, Oregon in 1993 and resided in Oregon until just shortly after finishing high school where I then relocated to South Africa. I have lived in Johannesburg, South Africa for just over five years and recently completed my Bachelor of Arts Honours in Visual Communication at the Open Window Institute for arts and digital sciences. I have been previously nominated for various design awards and has participated in many group exhibitions around the South Africa, and the United States. I have always been motivated to honestly showcase my personal experiences, portraying them through a narrative in my work. I invite my viewers to relate and connect to my personal experiences through the narrative of each piece.” // Syndey Keeney
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“This piece is based on a memory of a wonderful trip up to San Francisco with my friends. The color palette and style of this piece reflects my mood and energy that day. I will always look back on this day as beautiful.” // Dana Journey
// Michelle Pelletier
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// Marietta Balzer
// Misha Pola
Jessica Bishop “I had just moved into my new home and wanted to create something new and a little out of my normal photo shoot to stretch my mind creatively. I really wanted to get a little weird and experimental. Thus, this shoot was born. I was inspired by black and white double exposures, and overall a look of something intriguing and different. I thought Kate would be a perfect model for this experimental shoot since she has such a unique look already. I found these small mirrors I had, and thought I’d experiment with those as well, creating some different point of views. I loved how the images came out and have a mysterious creepy feel to them.” // Jessica Bishop
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“I am a southern-raised photographer and writer who is now attending university in Massachusetts. I study studio art and photography and place a heavy emphasis on portrait work that explores abstracting identity and sense of belonging. In approaching my project “Myth”, I was going through a significant life transition and questioning the value of the intimate relationships nearest to my heart. On a technical level, I have always been averse to self-portraits, but I knew the depth of what I was feeling needed to be explored in-frame with myself as the subject. Around the time I chose to begin shooting myself, the word “mythology” had been floating around in my head; the absurdity of my new world seemed so abstracted from the world I once knew and adored, as if my life before was now just a grand myth. Thus the project quickly revealed itself to be on deconstructing the personal mythologies I had built and attempting to find some sense of truth within.” // Julian Raiford
“I am Erin Delsigne, a professional film and digital photographer located in Los Angeles. I photograph a wide variety of genres from fashion editorials, film collages and portraits to weddings, musicians and events. With the characteristic variety of mood and tone, my photographs organically combine the sensitivity and vulnerability of my subjects, while aiming to bring out their often uninhibited and expressive personalities.” // Erin Delsigne
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Place a Mirror on America written by Josue Romero
Imagine the most conceited, self-centered and arrogant person you know. They’re entirely set in their ways, and reject everything that doesn’t immediately pertain to them. If you ever tried to call out unhealthy characteristics, they would completely deny it. You might have a theory about their past that led them to be this way. In place of this person, I invite you to imagine the United States of America — it’s arrogant, it’s egotistical, and it’s got some issues. This comparison is necessarily insightful in the fight for change and in terms of our responsibilities as individuals. You might conceive of the American attributes described above as a “because of them” kind of thing, where “them” is someone far and distant from you. But that very alienation, that conception that the problems aren’t with oneself but with some far away other, is very American (human, even). It reflects all of us. We would rather relegate personal issues towards the fault of somebody else. The conflicts that we face individually mirror those that the country faces collectively. We tend to be very defensive of our sense of identity and aggressively maintain our own habits and biases. There are things we would consider extremely taboo or weird, and we’ll reject them in fear and misunderstanding. We’re bound to bear uncomfortable history that we would rather ignore and leave behind. Point being, if we take the time to examine ourselves, to take a mirror and mind all of our characteristics, good and bad, then we’ll see the nation within us. We’ll see that even our smallest tendencies can be likened to certain behaviors of the country. The connections are obvious, between the rhetoric of politicians, and the biases we uphold personally. It’s difficult to deny the parallels between individual psychology and that of the American whole. The country has an ego just as much as we do. That ego builds a narrative about ourselves based on the parts we like most, the things we think make us, us. America loves itself as the champion of democracy, freedom and justice. It raises history as one of nobility, grandeur, and progress. But in the same way that an individual’s ego might blind them to their bad habits and toxic characteristics, the nation avoids facing its terrible qualities. It would much rather not admit that it has some things to work on.
There are parts of your past that you will be reluctant to face, they might be traumatic, full of grief, or simply embarrassing. America, in parallel fashion, does not like to face the uncomfortable parts of its history — it would rather relegate slavery to basements and closets of history — and it would rather move on as quickly as possible. It’s like a relationship in which the other person never takes responsibility for their actions. It’s unhealthy and problematic. Individually, we tend to be extremely conflicted and uncertain, about our futures, about who we should be, about how we interact with others, and so on. These personal conflicts and uncertainties are microcosms of the national politics. There’s a constant cacophony of voices, all arguing for their own agendas. These voices pull in all directions, and make the country as indecisive as a large group of friends settling on which movie to watch. Most people will find it difficult to welcome new experiences. It is uncomfortable to face situations in which one is lost, ignorant, and uncertain. There’ll be habits that we’re already comfortable with that we won’t want to betray. This is the essence of conservatism. It is a hesitancy to welcome foreign and untested experiences. The lack of tradition and habit makes new cultures and people uncomfortable to welcome. If you can see the merit in these parallels, then you’ll understand that there is also hope in the potential for growth. The only way that individuals mature, is to face their problems and overcome them, regardless of how difficult it is. To overcome trauma, one has to face it, think and talk about it with regularity. America’s current state of affairs, its divisive politics, the volatile conversations, the protests and activist movements, this is the nation facing its trauma, its bad habits and its collective identity — this is America growing. So when we’re putting a mirror to America, we’re also pointing it at each individual. The changes we need to see in the country, must happen in ourselves, foremost. If there is to be tolerance and inclusivity, then we must check ourselves for those qualities constantly, in all respects. The change that needs to happen in the nation, must be reflected on an individual basis.
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This 17-year old musician from Chicago challenges the term “bedroom pop” as he experiments with layered vocals, synths, and guitar on his self-made tracks.
Q: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Q: Did you play instruments growing up?
Victor: I’m Victor. I’m 17 years old, living in the suburbs about five minutes away from Chicago. I was supposed to be going back to school, I’d be a senior this year, but I ended up convincing my mom to let me take online classes. I’m going to get my GED and go on a headliner tour. Right now, I’m really focusing on my music.
Victor: My dad is a mariachi. He plays the trumpet, so I grew up with a lot of music in my family. My uncle was the worship leader at church, so I picked up guitar from him. I also tried teaching myself how to play the keyboard. I’m still working on that.
Q: When did you start making music? Victor: Probably this time around last year. Really? Wow, that’s not that long. Victor: Yeah, it’s really not! Most people think I’ve been around for longer, but I really just started last summer. I started by making trap beats for my friends at church. They’d come over to my house after youth nights and we’d freestyle to my beats. Then, not long after that, I started making my own music!
Q: What’s your creative process? Melodies first, beat first, lyrics? Victor: I’ll usually hum different melodies and record myself. I really like using the voice memos app on my phone. I’ll just record melodies whenever I think of them. I feel like sometimes people have a process where they sit down and start writing songs, but for me they just kind of hit me. If I get inspired by a story that I’m listening to or maybe I just finished watching a movie, I’ll end up writing a song about it. It’s random spurts of inspiration throughout my day.
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Q: For the backing track and production, does that come quickly? Victor: I’ll start with the melody. From there, I’ll start adding drums. It’s all layers. So basically I’ll layer a bunch of instruments together and feel what sounds good. That’s kind of how it goes for me! I work on Ableton. On there, I’ll add drums, synths, maybe some vocal harmonies. I always make sure it all sounds cohesive and full. I really enjoy a rich sound, so that’s what I try to go for. Q: Are your songs inspired by stories from your life? Victor: When I made “Tinder Song”, I was Facetiming my friend Andrea. She was talking to me about her Tinder date. In Chicago, we have the ‘L’ train which is our transportation system. It’s super easy to get around. Andrea was going on this date with a boy from Tinder, and he ended up being late by like an hour because he got lost on the train. It was kind of like, how do you get lost in The Loop? It’s the easiest transportation system we have in the city. After that, she was really upset and ended up blocking him. I decided I’d make a song about it, and she was like, “Alright.” So, I made the song in about an hour and sent it to her. She went crazy and loved it. I decided to put it up and it took off on its own! Q: What’s the hardest part of song-writing? Victor: Oh man, song writing can be so hard. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to lyrics. It’s just so complicated writing something that you want people to resonate with. Maybe you’re thinking, ‘people won’t feel this’ or ‘maybe it’ll sound awkward’. A lot of it is risk-taking and making sure it is cohesive. I like to jump around a lot and try new things with my lyrics. On my newer songs, my lyrics are a bit more mature. On my older songs, they’re very teenage heartbreak-ish— sort of generic. Now, I’m definitely branching out and experimenting with different rhyme patterns. Q: What’s your opinion on the term “bedroom pop”? I know it’s a controversial label for some artists in that community. Victor: I’m one of the anti-“bedroom pop” people in the community. I understand where people come from when they call it bedroom pop. It is ‘bedroom music because a lot of us produce this stuff in our rooms. We don’t have access to higher, industry standard equipment. For me, I started off with a really shitty PC, and it would crash every few hours. I’d have to just save my project over and over to make sure my progress wasn’t lost. I’ve lost so many songs because of that! It really is a struggle. We don’t have a lot of money. We’re starving artists, literally. It’s hard for us to find access to better equipment, so it’s a long process for us to polish our sound, to make it sound like a clean radio mix. When people try to label it as bedroom pop, it kind of upsets me because this is a real struggle I’m going through, and people just see it as a genre. Whereas I wish people would see it as, “Oh, he’s just making regular music and it’s good” instead of, “Oh, he’s making music from his bedroom so it’s just a cute little demo.” I think that ‘bedroom producers’ should be given more credit rather than turning their work into a genre that’s almost condescending. We’re still out here making good ass music. Definitely better than what’s on the radio. It feels disrespectful to me to be given the ‘bedroom pop’ label for sure.
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“When people try to label it as bedroom pop, it kind of upsets me because this is a real struggle I’m going through, and people just treat it as a genre.”
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Q: Would you change the quality of your sound if you had access to industry standard equipment, or is it part of your style? Victor: I’d definitely change it. I’ve never stepped into a studio, but given the opportunity, I definitely would. Q: Are you mixing all of your own stuff? Victor: Yeah, I’ve always mixed and mastered all of my stuff. All the production is done by me on my laptop. I started off with FL Studio because Ableton ran too slowly on my PC. My friend gave me his login credentials, and that’s when I started making my first beats. The thing is, recording vocals on FL Studio is a nightmare. I’d have to export the beat then place the beat in Audacity and record my vocals on there. It was a really lengthy process. Now though, I’m using Ableton. and it’s so much smoother. Q: How did you start learning those skills? Was it just a lot of trial and error? Victor: Trial and error, definitely. A lot of YouTube tutorials— shout out YouTube— because it’s what everyone goes to if you want to learn something. Q: Do you think that streaming platforms and social media help selfmade artists?
Victor: It’s very helpful. It’s crazy how people my age can use Instagram and pop off in a few months. It’s just crazy to me because I think if I never had access to Twitter and Instagram or even just small forums, I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. The power of community on the internet is incredibly important. I was in a BROCKHAMPTON group chat a few months back, and that’s where most of my friends found out I made music. It’s cool because you have all these little group chats, and everyone shares new music with each other. It’s very empowering for younger creatives. Q: Do you feel like there’s a tight digital or even in-person community within the artists in your genre? Victor: Oh yeah, definitely. We’re all in the loop with each other, supporting each other, and rooting each other on. I think there’s a very healthy connection between artists. There’s a ton of underground artists who aren’t as popular as bigger ones. For example, I’m not on the same level as Cuco or Omar Apollo yet, but it’s nice that they still support me and that I support them. It’s a very healthy environment, especially with the Latinx artists giving each other a hand in the scene. Q: So, how did you meet Omar and Cuco? Victor: Well, I would listen to Omar back in the SoundCloud days. He had this EP that he ended up taking down,
but I really loved it. I ended up meeting him in January of this year. We were at this party in Chicago. It all started because Cuco had retweeted my song, so we connected. Cuco was in Chicago, so I asked if he wanted to hang out. I met him at his hotel, and we ended up going to this party with a bunch of other local artists, and Omar Apollo was there. We all just kind of connected that night, got each other’s numbers, and have been talking ever since. Q: Do you feel like their music has influenced your sound at all? Victor: Definitely. I love the way Omar Apollo runs his stuff. It’s a very clean aesthetic. I love how he’s refined his sound. It sounds really good— almost commercial— but you still feel the authenticity of his work in there. Cuco has definitely inspired me in the long run too! Q: You have Mexican-American roots. Could you talk about your relationship with your heritage and how it influences your music, if at all? Victor: I grew up on the South West side of Chicago. I grew up very poor. Even
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now, we still struggle with rent since we only live with my mom. I think every Mexican boy’s dream is to help their parents and provide for their family. So, I think that has pushed me through a lot of things. It’s definitely pushed me forward to work on more music and to focus on it. I get discouraged a lot, but people like my mom keep me going. I’m very in touch with my heritage and my family. I always want to make sure there’s food on the table and that my mom’s not struggling at some whack ass job. Now that I’m making money off my streams and shows, I’m paying her bills. That’s really cool. MexicanAmericans don’t have a lot of the privileges that other people have so it’s a dream for me to be helping my mom this way. Q: When you perform live, do you use the backing tracks you’ve already made or do you have live instruments? Victor: For my first few performances, I used my uncle’s drum pad or backing tracks, but for the tour I now have a band so the instruments will be live! Q: When it comes to visuals for your songs, you’ve posted one for “Tinder Song” and one for “Each Other”. The style of the “Each Other” visual almost felt like peering into someone’s head and seeing all of these random thoughts going on. What was the inspiration for the concept? Victor: The “Each Other” video was made by me and my friends Lissette Bustamante and Brody Ford. The original concept was to be in a barber shop, but overall we just wanted to make a goofy, childlike video. We shot the barber shop scene by asking this barber shop dude if we could film in there. It was weird because I had the cameras on me and there were people in the background getting their haircuts just staring at us. Then we ended up going to a local college to use a green screen set-up. We brought a bunch of props like weights, face masks, guitars, a ladder, and other accessories. They just recorded me in front of a green screen doing different things. I wanted it to be nostalgic, playful, and vibrant. If you see the colors, they’re very bright. We added the cartoons to add some real nostalgia in there. We just thought as a whole, it’d be appealing visually and sonically.
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Q: Now that you’re building a bigger following, do you ever feel pressured to put out more music faster or to change your sound? Victor: That’s literally what I’m going through right now. It’s so hard. I feel like within the year, this stuff just hit me so fast. It shouldn’t ever be about money or people watching you, but I do have eyes on me and some of those eyes are really important. There’s always this voice in the back of my head saying, “You can’t disappoint anyone! You have to make something crazy. Your next song has to be a hit.” Then, the pressure of playlisting is huge. Basically, if your song doesn’t get added to a playlist, it doesn’t do well on streaming which means less money and less listeners. It’s huge pressure on me because I want to make the best music that I can make, that what I put out next is different but still good. It’s a mixture of wanting to please people but also having to prioritize yourself and make sure that you’re content with the content that you’re making. Q: Are there any other artists that influence your sound aside from Cuco and Omar Apollo? Victor: I think everyone in the community right now is a huge Frank Ocean fan, so Frank Ocean definitely. Also, Toro y Moi. Aside from that, I’ve been listening to Mitski a lot. I’ve had Mitski on repeat. Choker is an underground artist I’m into. Definitely listen to his songs, Diorama or Juno. Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Victor: Wow, that’s scary. I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow. 5 years from now, if I wanted to be anywhere, it’d probably be on Cuco’s level. I really like that he’s out here doing events that support the situations of immigrant children. It’s good to give back, so I definitely want to be helping out a lot. A headliner tour would be cool, but I just want to help kids with little to no resources. I know I struggled with that growing up, so I want to give back and help kids that don’t have a lot so that they can work on their art and feel like there’s no restrictions on what they can do. I’d love to provide resources of all kinds!
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illustration by Jennifer Langen written by Lauren Kim
Lauren Kim // Where We Go From Here Lauren Kim is a photographer, graphic designer, illustrator and art director originally from Orange County. She currently resides in Los Angeles, studying Design and Media Art at UCLA. From a young age, her fascination with color and texture has played an integral role in her development as an artist, and continues to be a massive influencing factor in her work today. Manifested specifically within her photography, she is constantly experimenting with different tones, styles and lighting. Stylistically, her photos are largely inspired by films, hence why much of her work possesses a cinematic and whimsical quality, specifically within the coloration and grainy nature of her images. She experiments with both digital and film, depending on what she feels the project at hand calls for, and it is personally important to her to push the boundaries of both mediums and produce work that is outside of the scope of what is typically associated with either format. In recent years, she has found a way to marry her love for photography with her illustrative background in combining the two mediums, hand-drawing imagery and overlaying the artwork on top of her photography. This has allowed her to interact with both art forms in an innovative, fresh way. Ultimately, her hope within her creative process is to produce work that is imaginative, conversational, emotion-evoking and accessible. This series, “Where We Go From Here,” was birthed in response to a particularly difficult period she experienced last spring, in which she felt she had hit a dead-end creatively and was becoming increasingly confined within her creative process. The elements of this project are meant to signify this tension between desiring to create something of substance, and feeling uninspired. The bright pops of color contrasting with the muted tones of the location, along with the experimentation within the relationship between fabric and movement, are all integral to conveying the larger concept. On a more theoretical level, this project is also meant to be a form of release and renewal within the artist’s creative process, reminding her and the viewers that frustration can, at times, be a part of ideation, but that it does not need to hinder the capacity to create.
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PHOTOGRAPHY LAUREN KIM MODELS ALYSSA ALLEN BELLA ALLEN VICKY ROAN LOCATION IRVINE, CALIFORNIA
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Reflection in the Modern Age written by Jessica Brock ilustration by Léa Zhang
Fashion changes how people think. From styles coming and going, to designers reinventing what it means to dress, fashion is inspiring, and a reflection of the culture and time it represents. In this way, mirrors reflect the best and worst parts of ourselves. Mirrors can define us, but also give us a glimpse into what we truly are and can become. Gone are the days when people’s choices could be kept private. In this digital age, top producers of content in the industry, like magazines and online publications, effectively scrutinize and define what it means to be accepted and looked at positively. Mirrors act as a prosthetic of this top-down definition of beauty, forcing a subconscious comparison between ourselves and this standard whenever we pass one. Waking up in the morning and looking into the mirrors demonstrates the value society has grown to place on physical appearance; we’ve come, in many cases, to equate physical appearance with how much someone values and/or respects themselves. In turn, mirrors reflect the outward appearance others will see of us but also sparks a dialogue of self-analytical or self-reflective thoughts. Our subconscious efforts to achieve social normalcy would suggest that mirrors do more than just provide a surface to look at our outfits. Fashion is another way for us to expressively convey meaning and emotion in everyday life. From color to pattern and everything in between, we must first look at our reflection to truly see what our appearance would look like. And more often than not, the first choice that comes to mind we disregard or modify to think if others would approve. It would be an interesting project to go around a department and shoe store, to count exactly how many mirrors there were. This brilliantly crafted marketing and aesthetic system allows for the company to best serve their consumer base with the clothes and shoes that the consumer feels best fits them. For functional purposes it is understandable, however the unnecessary number of mirrors in a store only leads to a negative disposition. It further enforces this societal obsession with outward presentation. Caring about your appearance isn’t a bad thing; what can become an unfortunate issue is when the mirror begins to define how you value yourself. While a mirror can capture the length of your pants or the tuck of your shirt, it can’t reflect your curiosity or your kindness or any other internal trait. Our underlying efforts become evident in how we admire the reflections we see in mirrors. Fashion can decide for us what is going to generate a certain response from our peers or coworkers, yet cannot give us our necessary desires of self-worth. Our clothing or facial mishaps become evident in daily predilection: a continued use of a mirror that only reflects what we see in it.
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AS ALWAYS,
THANK YOU.