Senior Living
IN The Bookcase by Terri Schlichenmeyer
examine them, say the authors, but don’t judge them. The best way to find compassion is to offer it to ourselves first. It’s natural to feel anger at any time, but you can deal with it by acknowledging the frustration that leads to it. Put yourself in your loved one’s place and remember that “We have the power to shift our perspective[s].” Take a deep breath, and “take some time to find creative solutions.” Know your breaking point and ask for help before you reach it; don’t, in fact, ever be afraid to ask for help. Remember, too, that an adult loved one may still be capable of decision-making. Keep a schedule, but don’t be so rigid that you can’t appreciate spontaneity. Try to maintain a sense of humor in some way. Ask to hear old stories and memories as a way to boost joy for you both. “Seek reasons to be grateful …” Understand that you may grieve now more than later, and that you simply can’t control everything, so go ahead and “ease up on yourself …” Much as I liked the sentiment behind AARP Meditations for Caregivers, there was one thing I struggled THE ANSWER COULD ONLY BE “YES.” Still, it was the hardest decision you’ve ever made. You
with: the stories accompanying the meditations. Roughly divided into “twenty-eight themes,” this book walks
couldn’t do it—but then again, you couldn’t not: Dad fell,
readers through nearly every emotion they may be feeling
AARP Meditations
then he fell ill, and your home was the logical place for him
at any stage of caregiving. You don’t have to read cover
for Caregivers
to be. You’ve had help, naturally, but you could always use
to cover; pick a page, though, and you’ll be presented
by Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D.
more, and in AARP Meditations for Caregivers by Barry J.
with an anecdote that just doesn’t feel authentic. Yes, it’s
and Julia L. Mayer, Psy.D.
Jacobs, Psy.D. and Julia L. Mayer, Psy.D., you may find it.
representative of what caregivers may be experiencing, but
Forty million people. According to reports, that’s how many Americans
psychologist-authors Barry Jacobs and Julia Mayer include
friends each year.” If you’re one of them, say the authors,
gentle succor to end their mini-chapters. And therein
you know that caregiving can be rewarding and meaningful,
lies the reason why you need this book: Those words of
but also exhausting, “transformative,” and “stressful in
wisdom, and not the “stories,” are packed with power and
many ways.” With this book in hand, you don’t have to feel
mind-changing thought-provokers that could turn your
alone while offering that care.
day around. They could be lifesavers. They will make a
at her home, yours or a nursing home, a dozen different feelings may swirl inside you. Accept those feelings and Inside New Orleans
Scan past them, however, and you’ll find that clinical
“provide unpaid care to cherished family members or
When a loved one needs day-to-day help, whether
84
after awhile, those tales weaken the book.
difference. And for those very reasons, the only answer to AARP Meditations for Caregivers is “yes.”